/bootleg/ Celestia

Mar 31st, 2018
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  1. >there's a knock at the door
  2. Thanks to kind anon that reposted it.
  4. >it's the FedEx guy with an enormous crate
  5. >you've been waiting
  6. >you sign for it
  7. >and pry off the top of the crate
  8. >a horned head sticks up, and wings unfurl
  9. "Your Majesty."
  10. >"I know I'm based on a fictional character. You don't have to be so polite."
  11. "Perhaps, but I'm already charmed."
  12. >she laughs, but it seems a bit forced. "I only just got here."
  13. >you take the front off the crate and she steps out
  14. >she's not quite as big as you anticipated
  15. >but she's going to have to fit in your house
  16. >"So, what did you have in mind?"
  17. "I was going to cook dinner for you."
  18. >"That's sweet. I'm a bit hungry, actually."
  19. "What do you eat? Can you eat human food?"
  20. >"Yes, though I prefer not to eat meat, for obvious reasons. Seafood, eggs, dairy products, yes."
  21. "That's just as well, then. I might be healthier if I follow your example."
  22. >she looks at the floor
  23. >"So what do you really want, then?"
  24. "I'm not sure what you mean."
  25. >"They grew me in a vat and gave me a personality based on a fictional character, but that doesn't make me stupid." She sounds sad and resigned.
  26. "Fair enough. I'm lonely and socially inept, and felt a desire for a friend."
  27. >"And you paid extra for the the extra-tall one with the maternal personality, right?"
  28. "I..."
  29. >"You're my owner now. They put limits on my behavior and there are things surgically implanted in my brain. I'm supposed to imprint on you, and not mind if you want sex. I appreciate forthrightness, though."
  30. "I do find you aesthetically pleasing, but I get the impression that you don't seem very happy about it."
  31. >"Would you be?"
  32. "I suppose not. And... please don't take this the wrong way, I'm aware that some people getting bioengineered companions have certain desires, but I just want--I hope--that we can be happy together, without that. I didn't swing that way, even before I became too depressed to be interested in sex."
  33. >that gets a little smile out of her
  34. >"You don't swing that way? You prefer the company of gentlemen, or...?"
  35. >you look down and shuffle in place a bit
  36. "Hetero, nominally--I mean that I am not sexually drawn to ponies, and these days my libido is as dead as everything else about me. You could be a porn actress and it wouldn't matter."
  37. >"Some ponies have gotten jobs in porn, or so I've heard."
  38. "Nothing would surprise me any more. But my point is that I don't want to take anything from you that you don't give willingly. I'm not your owner, not your captor. You may come and go as you please. I hope that we can be friends, though, if I may say so."
  39. >"You're nicer than I expected, but do you fully understand what you bought? That they made me this way to satisfy certain interests. I'm wired that way. Literally."
  40. "Please forgive me, this seems like an unhappy topic, but I must ask what you mean, if that isn't too personal."
  41. >"I wasn't kidding about the brain surgery and the conditioning."
  42. "That sounds horrible."
  43. >"Just don't wear surgical scrubs around me and we'll get along fine."
  44. "...that's too specific a detail to be a joke, even a bitter one. I'm so sorry."
  45. >"I'm mostly over it. They didn't act out of malice, and they can't have intended that I remember so much, but so much of the science is so new, and our body chemistry still isn't fully understood."
  46. >you imagine a tiny filly, fresh from the vats, strapped to an operating table and screaming in terror, and you shudder
  47. "I. I'm so sorry. This is as difficult for me to hear as it is for you to speak of, I think."
  48. "So," you continue, "I'm socially inept and not good at subtle or witty redirection of conversations, so I must make a clumsy attempt at changing the subject more directly. You said that you were hungry. I was about to begin cooking dinner. What would you like?"
  49. >her smile is thin, but genuine
  50. >"You're not so bad, and no one can say you aren't a considerate host. Do you have any seafood?"
  51. "I've got some frozen shrimp. Are you in the mood for a stir-fry, with onions and noodles?"
  52. >"That sounds good, thank you. What was your name, by the way?"
  53. "Call me Anonymous."
  54. >"Call me Celestia."
  55. "What if I prefer to call you Princess?"
  56. >"Then I will have to remind you that I'm not her, and have no title."
  57. "You could be Princess of this house."
  58. >"Flatterer."
  59. "So, do you like spicy? Cayenne pepper, that sort of thing?"
  60. >"Maybe a little. I really have more of a sweet tooth."
  61. "Like the character?"
  62. >"Very much. My pancreas is almost the size of my liver, just to keep me from getting diabetes."
  63. "Duly noted. Baking is a hobby of mine and maybe I'll have the opportunity to ask you to try some of my odder experiments."
  64. >"Odder?"
  65. "Pound cake made with the eggs separated, and the egg whites whipped and folded into the batter and then some blueberries stirred in, that sort of thing."
  66. >"This may be the start of a beautiful friendship."
  67. "I ain't good looking, and I can't make small talk, but I can cook."
  68. >months pass
  69. >you and she live together in the little house
  70. >she even gets a job delivering pizza, and encourages you to give up the NEETbux and start working part-time
  71. >she asks you to run with her in the city park each morning
  72. >she's the best friend you've ever had
  73. >she was on sale because she was damaged goods
  74. >but you're damaged goods too
  75. >the neighbors look at you oddly
  76. >but you're better off with her, and she's better off with you
  77. >she's honest with you about your culinary experiments
  78. >the chocolate chip bread was perhaps not the best idea you ever had
  79. >your health and mood improve with the exercise and her constant encouragement
  80. >being with her makes you happy
  81. >you want her to be happy and safe, and you decide that you love her, though not in the "in love" kind of way
  82. >there are awkward moments when you realized that your libido was not, perhaps, permanently gone
  83. >"I could help you out with that, you know. It's one of the things I was made for."
  84. "I couldn't dream of imposing upon you."
  85. >"I was grown in a vat to be a walking sex fantasy for bronies. They built a sex drive into me, too."
  86. "It troubles me to think of you as having been created this way."
  87. >"Me too. But what if the alternative is that I wouldn't have been created at all?"
  88. "You're very accepting."
  89. >"They made me to be. And I can accept a lot."
  90. >you think this might be some of that nonverbal communication you've heard of
  91. >then she lies on the bed, on her side, her back to you, accentuating the curve of her hip as it tilts away from the mattress, and smiles at you over her shoulder
  92. >"Don't you think I'm pretty, Mr. Human? I'm going into estrus and I need you so much."
  93. >you chuckle
  94. >she pouts
  95. >"No, seriously. Get over here."
  96. "Celestia, I do care very much for you, and I find you beautiful, but I'm not sure about this."
  97. >"Neither am I, exactly, but maybe we'll figure it out together."
  98. >you're not a virgin, exactly
  99. >not eligible for wizard status
  100. >but it's been years for you, you'd stopped caring
  101. >her lips are soft and gentle against yours
  102. >and she's a very patient teacher
  103. >she shows you how to give her pleasure
  104. >and you decide that she's the most beautiful woman in the world, though she walks on four legs instead of two
  105. >even before, sated and grinning, she returns the favor
  106. >and, lying on the bed beside her, you tell her that you love her
  107. >and she hugs you, tears of joy coming from her eyes, and says she loves you too, she always has
  108. >and a few years pass
  109. >you don't see as many bioengineered companion creatures on the streets as you used to
  110. >some early batches of ponies were imperfect
  111. >after a few years they appeared to age quickly and die for reasons not fully understood
  112. >it hasn't happened to Celestia
  113. >the state of the art has moved on
  114. >some humans are getting their brains implanted into bioengineered bodies
  115. >others are "uploading," having their brains destructively broken down to extract information to create an AI in a virtual world that least appeared to think they were the originals
  116. >that seemed too much like suicide to you
  117. >there was a bit of social backlash, though in your part of the world it did not generally get worse than nasty anonymous letters to "Mr. & Mrs. Horsefucker"
  118. >you ignore them and don't trouble Celestia with them
  119. >you wonder how long she'll live
  120. >wonder if you could adopt a baby NEET to raise
  121. >wonder if you'll be able to grow old together
  122. >you can't imagine living without her
  123. >you'd marry her, except that no church will perform the ceremony, she's not human, legally
  124. >you'd have to put the wedding ring on her horn anyway
  125. >not everything is perfect
  126. >she has horrible nightmares sometimes
  127. >you try to comfort her
  128. >once she got sick, and of course human doctors won't treat her
  129. >you took her to a vet, and she had a panic attack because the vet wore surgical scrubs
  130. >she was crying hysterically, and you just stood there holding her and stroking her mane
  131. >but everything was okay in the end, she did get better
  132. >and this story was originally going to have something about Celestia getting old and dying first
  133. >and leaving NEET Anon a bitter widower
  134. >but that would be sad
  135. >so let's say that they lived happily ever after, as happily as they could
  136. >damaged goods, both of them, but they were happier together than they would have been alone
  137. >they didn't have adventures, but that was okay too because they didn't want any
  138. >no alien invasions or terrorist attacks
  139. >just the two of them happy together
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