/doe/ - Awake in the Dark World

/doe/ - Noelle Holiday General #676
h ttps://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/76018844/#76021039
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>her heart was beating in her head
>her ears were ringing
>the pressure she was feeling made her feel like she was going to either suffer a nosebleed or vomit
>or both.
>to say this was a bad day was putting it mildly
>first the lies coming out and the feelings of... betrayal, distrust that followed
>and then the thoughts of everything having been real
>the way she acted in Cyber World... she never would have done things like that if she was awake
>well. if she KNEW she was awake.
>Noelle was presently on the ground, clutching her knees after a battle
>stress, fear, anxiety, even embarrassment, it all came rushing in
>she'd been through so many already but... now that she knew it was real it felt like she was starting all over again
>it took a voice, his voice to cut through it all
>"Elly, are you hurt?" Kris asked, taking a knee in front of her, a hand outstretched to her
>the Reindeer looked up at him, there was a short pause, some color filling her cheeks, before she shook her head
>it took her a little longer before she reached out, taking his hand, she had to clear her head first
>"how do you stay so calm, knowing any one of these fights could be your last?" she asked, climbing to her feet
>Kris exhaled, setting his hand on his hip as he gave it some thought.
>"I... don't know, Elly, I just sorta do."
>his expression seemed conflicted, there was clearly something he wasn't telling her
>but was it something worth pursuing in this moment?
>"it's okay, Elly, you're okay."
-
>It seemed when the two of them were alone like this, he was just using 'Elly' for her now
>it made it feel... private, like it was just for him and her to know, old knowledge shared between them.
>each time she heard it, even so casually, it made her feel like... maybe things would go back to how they used to be.
>maybe? why was she thinking like that..?
>she wanted that, didn't she? Kris was... IS her best friend, there was no point in denying that, even with all that time.
>she still thought about him every day.
>she still missed him every day.
>and he was right there.
>right in front of her.
>right next door, all along.
>she looked down at his hand, now so casually holding hers, gripping it a little tighter, this caused him to look back at her as they walked together.
>there came a time for things like pranks, and this, this didn't feel like it, he could see it in her expression, the sadness, the fear.
>he was the only one here that she could trust right now, this whole deal had pushed her far enough as is
>so at the next 'safe spot' he found, he turned to face her, gesturing for her to sit with him as he took a seat on the ground.
>thankfully the ground here was soft, mostly greenery, to Kris it was an unthreatening place...
>but to Noelle, it seemed to be a nightmare.
>except this time she couldn't wake up from it.
-
>sitting with the human, Noelle let out a little sigh, looking down, Kris' hand found it's way to her shoulder.
>"Elly, I can see you're scared right now, no- not scared, terrified, so... let's just wait here for a bit."
>Noelle did appreciate the gesture, but at the same time, it made her feel somewhat ashamed.
>ashamed of her own weakness in this moment, she had done this before with Kris just a couple days ago.
>but the context had changed entirely now, there was no perceived safety net of waking up in her bed, as if nothing happened.
>"I don't know if I can do this, Kris, I've never had to knowingly face danger like this before." she added, turning her eyes downward
>Kris hand gripped her shoulder a little more firmly, causing her eyes to meet his, the suddenly resolute expression he was giving her,
>it made her feel- it made her know he cared.
>"it's not a question of 'if' right now Elly, but I'll be here, I promise... I'll protect you, no matter what."
>why wouldn't he? a big part of why he was even involved in all of this was for her sake.
>he'd wanted to make her happy again, and he believed bringing Dess back was the only way to do that.
>but the sudden flush on the doe's cheeks in response to his words had him wondering if he'd been... overthinking all of this.
>the girl leaned in against him, causing his hand to reflexively slide around her back, coming to rest on her opposite shoulder
>"you'll... protect me, Kris? it's hard to imagine I'd ever hear you say that."
-
>Kris' own expression was starting to mirror hers, as he looked away, the redness on his cheeks easily standing out against his strangely cyan skin.
>"well, we aren't little kids anymore, Elly, the monsters aren't... made up anymore."
>this caused Noelle to remember something, giving a little laugh
>"Faha-, you mean like ICE-E?"
>Kris' mind went back to a more recent experience.
>they were coming out of the pipes...
>"no. ICE-E's still real."
>Noelle paused for a moment there, expression shifting between a few choice faces before ultimately deciding he had to be joking.
>"You said that strangely... seriously??? You aren't gonna trick me again, Kris."
>"I am serious, but. Even if it's ICE-E, I'll still keep you safe."
>he just hoped ICE-E wasn't like... one of those shadow crystal guys.
>"well... thank you, Kris." Noelle responded, closing her eyes, leaning her head on his shoulder.
>"I see it, I saw that Elly...you're smiling again."
>the doe gave an embarrassed look, "you made me forget I was scared, Kris! I guess you're just... good at that."
>"do you think you'd be okay to keep going, then?" he asked, while giving her shoulder a reassuring rub
>"do- do we have to? I wouldn't mind staying like this a while longer, I've missed this... I've missed you."
>and she had just gotten comfy like this...
>"aheh- alright, Elly, I- I missed you too."
-
>a few minutes passed in silence before Noelle asked something that derailed the tone between them
>"why are you blue?"
>"because I've been feeling SO down for a loooong time." Kris responded with a tone that suggested he wasn't being serious, rolling his eyes.
>"fffahaha-! I mean your SKIN, why is it blue-er, Cyan here?" she added, before reaching up, touching his cheek with a fingertip
>Kris gave her something of an incredulous look through a blush at the contact,
>"I might know the place better than you but I can't explain that, you, Berdly and Susie all changed color, too."
>"well yeah, but there's a consistency to how Berdly, me and... her changed, we all just got 'brighter' colors from what I've seen... but you changed to a totally different hue."
>well now Kris was questioning it, looking at himself, "uh... I don't know, maybe it just affects... humans- differently?"
>Noelle's expression fell a bit, hearing Kris' hesitation there, deciding she should change the topic a little
>"well... it's just kind of funny, I guess."
>"funny- why?"
>"well, it's Sis's favorite color and all..."
>that didn't feel very 'funny' to Kris, still he'd rub her back, pulling her into a hug, adjusting his position a bit so they were front to front.
>as if he'd predicted it, Noelle's mood fell a bit now that she was thinking about Dess again...
-
>"nngh... sorry, I think I just brought things down." Noelle added, leaning her head on Kris' shoulder, bringing her arms around his back.
>"it's okay... I miss her too, Elly, I'm not going to judge you."
>he wasn't sure just what he could say on it, not wanting to complicate the matter, or give her false hope.
>"I am... doing everything I can to find her, save her."
>the soul had been pretty quiet, dormant until he said this, he could tell it wanted to tell her everything.
>Noelle meanwhile became choked up, "you...y-you are?"
>he gave a little nod, looking down, "it's, I would have done this years ago if I could, I want her back, I want everything back to normal..."
>god this line of thought was getting him worked up, he couldn't help but sniffle a little, wiping his face
>"sorry, this probably isn't building conf-" he started, before Noelle lifted his hand away from his face, looking him in the eyes
>her expression was sad, but he could also feel that sense of gratitude, and longing
>"I was so scared that you stopped caring, Kris..."
>"I... I never stopped, Elly, the longer this has gone on, the more trouble I've had facing you, feeling like I was... failing you, every day."
>at this point one of her hands moved down to his own, lifting his hand up and intertwining her fingers with his own
>"well...you don't have to do it alone anymore, I promise..."
-
>strangely, Kris' other hand had swung out behind himself, as if reaching for something that wasn't there
>then Noelle heard an odd noise, it sounded like a chime
>it didn't seem important, but she felt like she'd heard it before
>regardless, she leaned in against him once again, continuing to hold his hand
>"I promise..." Noelle repeated, memories coming back to her about some of the other promises they'd made to each other when they were younger.
>"Kris, do... d-do you want things to go back how they used to be, for us? between us?" they were both a lot older now than back then.
>they understood what those things really meant now, instead of childish naivete guiding them
>Kris gave a bit of a shaky sounding inhale there, it seemed he was getting choked up again.
>"I never wanted to stop, I just felt like I didn't... deserve it, deserve you."
>it seemed that was enough of an answer, because before he got another word out, Noelle lifted her head
>using her free hand, she snaked it up behind his head, rather suddenly pulling him into a firm kiss.
>he was surprised by the suddenness of the gesture, but it didn't take him long to reciprocate, relaxing into it
>and it didn't take long for him to feel the tears against his face, she really had missed him.
>he couldn't say the feeling wasn't mutual, though, he could feel the tension and distance between them fading already
>god he felt like an idiot, once it clicked it all just felt so obvious...
-
>their journey together, once it resumed felt a lot more...
>a lot more, I guess the word is 'surmountable' for the both of them
>they had challenging moments, feelings to work through, but now that neither of them had to do those things alone
>it really made all the difference in the world for them.
>that day, it was such an important, powerful moment for them
>that Noelle could swear, even years later
>that she had vivid dreams of that moment every now and then of their first kiss
>so vivid it felt like she was re-living it.