Leila:
	I might just go on a walk or some shit
Jessica Law:
	😟
	See
	I told you
Leila:
	Well this is why I don’t go on that much
Jessica Law:
	Leila I’m going to be very blunt
	I don’t think you should be an exec any more
Leila:
	Bc I feel worse and I hate myself for it bothering me
	Ok
	I will leave
Jessica Law:
	I think this is just making you upset
Leila:
	Ok
Jessica Law:
	And I hate to see that
Leila:
	I shall leave
Jessica Law:
	you don’t have to leave entirely unless the whole place gives you bad juju
	It’s not all or nothing
Leila:
	Welp
	So much for sticking by
	After telling me so much for being in it
	And me trying to build
Jessica Law:
	The problem for me is that you’re sad every single time
Leila:
	And look into things I think would be great
Jessica Law:
	It’s not about me wanting you around
	Because I do want you around, a lot
Leila:
	It’s not everything
	Like
	Over me being upset w Robyn’s posts
	Which you know triggers me
Jessica Law:
	Yeah but this isn’t a new thing or limited to robyn
Leila:
	And I came on in biz channels for a reason
Jessica Law:
	It’s every time you’ve come on for like months
Leila:
	Months?
Jessica Law:
	You weren’t happy when you were here in jan
Leila:
	...
	Ok
Jessica Law:
	I mean, do you want to keep going, can you power through the discomfort and do you think it will subside?
Leila:
	So if I get triggered lately which I usually don’t I should just peace
	Dude
	I’m just triggered by a few things
	Very very few
	But fine
Jessica Law:
	Ok, I’m just telling you what it feels like from my perspective
Leila:
	If you want to do that shit
	Saying I don’t think you should be an exec is pretty clear
	And I don’t wanna argue it
	I did that and moved on
	Whyim asking for a run down
Jessica Law:
	my bottom line is I want you healthy
Leila:
	Charlie gets pissed I get pissed he leaves the server
	Ancomes back
	And I should leave
	I don’t want it
	If this is gonna be like I don’t think you should do this
Jessica Law:
	i’m just worried
Leila:
	After we had a massive argument and moved on
Jessica Law:
	Yeah but then you were sad again
Leila:
	Idk what to say
	Except that I don’t want to fucking have this conversation every time I say something to you
Jessica Law:
	And upset and saying that haven didn’t make you happy
	Or stressed you out
Leila:
	And you legit said
	That’s what is likes and you don’t leave
	Peace
Jessica Law:
	What?
Leila:
	You told me when I mentioned leaving
	So much for you being in it w me or something like that
	Reason I am bothered is Bc if all the drama
	But like
	If you can’t see past me being upset about nana and Charlie blatantly blaming me and not communicating
Jessica Law:
	I get it, I’m sorry, — I can see past nana, idc
Leila:
	And Robyn personally triggering me and now is all over haven doing it too
	I don’t know what to say
	Either you want me long term and you deal w me being upset sometimes
Jessica Law:
	I can see past you being upset but you’re literally my best friend so my conflict is seeing you upset every time you do this thing or having you with me where I want you
Leila:
	Or you don’t and keep bringing this up
	Even if it is a month
	How long have I fucking been here
	And what did we literally just discuss painfully for like a week
	Which apparently I should just completely ignore now
Jessica Law:
	Alright fine dude, I’m literally just acting from a space where I’m worried
Leila:
	And I’m sick of having this conversation
	Bc I feel is the same as w nana
Jessica Law:
	Forget I said anything
Leila:
	You literally saying as I’m coming on vc I don’t think you should be an exec
	How am I supposed to figure out how to get through that if this is the new default
Jessica Law:
	It doesn’t have to be, I can tweak behavior
Leila:
	Like simply you have my back or you don’t and you want this or you don’t
Jessica Law:
	My point is I have your back, which is why I worry
Leila:
	And you want me here long term or you don’t
	And if you do
	Unless I 100% abandon ship maybe be slightly encouraging
	Bc
	You were upset and getting suicidal over this
Jessica Law:
	Alright
Leila:
	Did I tell you to quit
Jessica Law:
	No, but I look out for others more than I look out for myself and I think differently
Leila:
	Ok
	Well now this convo is making feel like utter shit
Jessica Law:
	ok I’m sorry idk how to apologize more
	just like focus on the fact that this just comes from me worrying about you
Leila:
	Saying I’m sorry and bringing up the same things doesn’t help
	Ok
	I feel like you don’t know me so well if this is the answer
Jessica Law:
	ouch
Leila:
	If we’re going off being blunt
	There are very few things that would make me leave
	Breaking trust or my idea of being united, fundamentally doing something that I don’t agree with morally or can’t support professionally and what I believe in or don’t. I never stopped believing in haven even when you have in your dips
	Being triggered for a while which is fairly rare for me isn’t one of them
Jessica Law:
	Hmm I mean honestly this is a translation error
	Bc my brain goes “omg trigger, everything is ruined”
	Not “omg trigger, this one thing is a problem”
	So I have a hard time reading it in other people
Leila:
	I feel totally alone when this shit happens or when Charlie goes off or like the nana situation where I feel like what people say to me isn’t the whole picture
	And now every time I get upset it’s like you should leave
Jessica Law:
	It’s not every time, I said it this once and we talked about it in the last week
	And I’m sorry, I won’t bring it up again
	Every time you get upset I worry about you idk
Leila:
	Yeah after a massive strife and now barely a week later
	And especially about Robyn
	Which you know is personal
	And I don’t understand why this is now flowing into my few peaceful or professional places
Jessica Law:
	It’s a one time thing
Leila:
	That you think I should leave over
	Look
	I don’t want to repeat the past
Jessica Law:
	no, I thought you were upset by haven overall
	Like I said I go black and white
Leila:
	By saying that specially about Robyn
Jessica Law:
	Idk dude my brain made associations
Leila:
	And that I can’t even have biz channels clear
	If she’s basically just doing events and art stuff why is she in all the biz channels
	I mean ok I get it
	And I truly know I have to deal with it
Jessica Law:
	Bc I took her back to help me read up on everything
Leila:
	Does she?
Jessica Law:
	Like an assistant kinda
	Yeah if I ask her about stuff she usually knows what’s going on
Leila:
	Ok
Jessica Law:
	She’s like you, reading a lot
Leila:
	Right
	Well I’m gonna take a break and clear my head
Jessica Law:
	Alright
Leila:
	Maybe vc after that
Jessica Law:
	Yeah
	Ima just cry for a bit lol
	Gl clearing your head.
Leila:
	Ok so I want to share my recent discontent and why so it’s abundantly clear. Over many many months I was consistently dismissed over the premise that “well you don’t trust anyone” or “that’s just you Leila Bc x, y, z.” In a discussion I was told by you that it was unfair and mean to dismiss you or mention that I believed you had personal bias towards nana and kyu, which I found ironic considering what I was told over a long period of time. Following that I learned that not only you but Charlie as well were sharing (what I perceived was confidential info amongst us execs) with nana. I presented valid points of evidence to support my professional view on not just nana but other team members. I shared such with all of you so that everyone, mainly Charlie, felt included and was there to share his view. The conversation did not reach a conclusion and you spoke to nana in a private dm. Charlie specifically accused me of that action simply Bc I said so. Following that you undid and begged nana to come back. I was flat out ignored and accused. Soon after, nana again was an issue which negatively affected others, primarily gray who basically stopped using the server past that point. After Charlie experienced what I had with nana he immediately gave the go ahead to demod her. Both him and you felt uncomfortable speaking to her, so I did which I didn’t mind, Bc like you said I had evidence to present. Nana bashed us all and said crude mean shit. Following that I learned that you guys were sharing what I personally did or said or felt directly with nana. Then I learned that you basically threw me under the bus and both told and confirmed that basically I was the reason she was demodded and actually apologized to her profusely for a reason I know to me. Amidst that I expressed why that was so upsetting and why ironically if was the two of you who broke my trust. You did not automatically apologize and told me I misread and misunderstood a situation I read first hand. To me that presented as you apologizing to nana for something completely contingent of her repeated behavior and with me simply trying to convince me that was not the situation. You did apologize much after the fact which felt disingenuous and indicated was more just to suit me. I am aware that eventually you did apologize and possibly saw my point of view. that whole situation felt to me like you were more concerned with saving face with nana than you were supporting me. Following that situation in almost every mod situation following that Charlie continuously and passive aggressively insinuated and referenced the nana situation as if it was my fault and was handled unfairly, when in fact she was given more reprieve than anyone I can think of since I joined. This was upsetting to me Bc he was the one who was fed up with the prior situation who agreed and realized her behavior warranted a demodding. Following that nearly every time I shared what I believed to be simple professional points Charlie attacked me and once again blatantly told me that I was the reason that nana and Eli and others left the server. During this period it was confirmed that literally the majority of what I shared was completely ignored and Charlie read nothing, not just then but for months. He then got mad at me and yelled at me for typing business stuff in exec biz. He never shared his limitation reading with me prior. I offered to help find a solution, which he also did not read. Even if he had difficulty he could have simply copy pasted it into a doc, which for him considering how many detailed docs and long announcements he makes doesn’t seem like a super time consuming or difficult thing to do. Ever since you were pulled into the office, which I defended and supported you threw (and which you told me I made about myself) I repeatedly asked for a conversation or vc to take place so we could clear the air. I continued to ask for that for months and months and nobody ever responded or met me half way. I literally shared and typed soooo much relevant server biz which legitimately was completely ignored as if I didn’t write anything, and all situations and discussions past then were made on the premise that what I wrote was never said or read. Again recently Charlie continued to ignore me or any hand I reached out to have an honest blunt discussion so we could clear the air and reach a joined decision and all feel heard so that we didn’t carry this shit into the following biz. This never ever happened and in fact you directly spoke to Charlie and I was out of the loop and simply told he will write back if he thinks it feels x, y, z which he never followed up with and simply typed in exec biz as if absolutely nothing happened. I grew increasingly upset and alone at this point. We had a massive blow out that affected both of us dramatically and in the end I bluntly shared where I stood. Instead of trusting what I shared you basically told me it’s better to leave if you’re upset, as if I had no reasons to feel personally attacked or upset following these events. Simultaneously I grew increasingly triggered by Robyn and how she repeatedly copied my extremely fucked up symptoms. I was told for a while that I was projecting and she was not copying me and this had little to nothing to do with me. It continued to happen and finally you saw it and realized why this was so difficult for me. She was also in every server and channel that I was and was constantly in crisis during any interaction we had which overwhelmed me and I felt I was faking Bc I was upset and triggered by her behavior and statements of how this was untrue, just like today when she said she doesn’t show her scars. I love her but cannot be around her. Also during this period spank was an asshole and as a result I had to leave basically all my social supportive servers Bc of that dynamic. Again in that situation I was accused of basically lying and making shit up or just doing things to mimic others or purely for attention. That bothered me more Bc of what was happening w Robyn and how both see and him basically banned together against me as if I was a monster. Now she is back aboard on the team with full access for simply apparently reading things and I feel is once again simply a personal and biased role to keep her busy. I get it but it seems like a repeat of others who were not there on merit but Bc of personal connections. Nothing about this was even slightly mentioned to me beforehand, with you knowing how I was struggling with her and knowing how many places I left and avoided to keep myself from getting triggered. You told me during our argument that I should leave or step down and not only that but this very odd idea that somehow if I’m not helping you build this I’m just gonna be a mod or some shit which is not a reality to me nor something I would consider and I find a bit degrading and disconnected to ask simply Bc time and personal feelings would be the reason I was leaving. I was also told I can just do other things for haven and leave the server to you guys with not connection or day or know as if we have more than the server as a service and right now is literally what the entire organization is. Every time I have left haven feeling badly it has been a direct result of people saying mean or upsetting things to me or like today with having to read and see pictures of sh and Robyn saying things like I don’t share my scars which is abundantly untrue and the reason it triggered me is simply Bc it’s been an ongoing issue for me. I share how it’s very upsetting to read and additionally frustrating it is to see in biz channels not only Bc of the content, which the pics were and Bc I’ve literally been trying to stay away from sh pics and pro Ana shit Bc I realized it was making me worse. The pics were of sh drawing or photo. Following me sharing how upset I was you literally told me I want to be blunt and I don’t think you should be an exec. I took that exactly how it was written and expressed, and again was hurt and upset and then told by you in this text chain that I was misunderstanding. I have been trying to reach out to people and think of ideas and even if I’m not directly in haven making sure that I am your support Bc I am behind you clearly and do not want you to give up Bc I know you can do this. What you said basically was yet another blow in the face not just Bc you acted like I had no direct reason to be upset or feel bad or struggle but Bc everything about haven was making me mad and therefore I should give up and step down. Ironically I was told before how me leaving simply based on one situation was basically stupid and mean and bad to you and you said well so much for being in it with me. During all of this you basically had everyone’s back and tried to appease everyone and overlook even what I thought was basics of friendships and like I said today I struggle w Bc I thought at this point you knew me better to know that. During any conflict instead of supporting me and telling me why I should be here and why you want me here you went immediately to you should leave. Now that I’m upset again and need a break you are also upset and likely this will blow over and somehow present as some mutual wrong which imo it isn’t. I apologized profusely to you Charlie and Eli and got nothing in return, with the two of them not even the courtesy of a response. When Charlie left the server numerous times in a more dramatic way you begged for him to come back and now when I’m literally sharing as a friend to vent you don’t even do that and tell me you want me as if what you said portrays that at all. I have always stood by you and lately more and more it feels like I’m off on the abyss and if I don’t act as completely detached and professional (which I have been repeatedly critiqued for) and things do personally affect me, the new default is you should step down and leave. Then when I say ok Bc I think you’re sure about it you backpedal which makes me feel more unsteady and disposable on haven. You mentioning how upset I get when I come on and read things targeted to me or like today as something personally triggering which you are well aware of it’s chalked up to oh you’re always upset the past “months” to be fair, I think it’s unfair that you knowing how I don’t use x or the server for support and why I avoid things and feel bad about ignoring them is Bc Robyn is in a lot of those channels and pusheen, which was mine and yours and I left for good Bc doesn’t even feel safe or worth it to say shit. The thing is I love Robyn as a person so this already makes me feel intense guilt, which I have also shared with you. And me saying I’m triggered by her ducking typing and writing and posting pics in team biz which is not a channel for that really and haven isn’t something she does or puts work in like I do and contributes with art and stuff she personally is connected to that is mh related you basically say well it’s just now and then proceed to tell me I shouldn’t be an exec. I had to write this Bc I want to articulate the past few months and make things clear. At this point it’s quite simple to me, either you want me in haven and will support me and have my back not only to stay but simply to defend me even in a non direct professional manner with members or the team or even friends who don’t need to know that information. I isolated as of late Bc if all of this and all these convos and your words are kinda just a big blow. I don’t say this to hurt you or even accuse you of being the reason I am the way I am but Bc I want to say how it felt and how this transpired in my opinion which was well to put it simply is terrible. I told you not even a week ago I was in it and am always your friend but I’m gonna really crack if this continues and even professionally with the three of us does not improve. Once again I have typed a lot but I had to say every word and I hope it’s legible Bc I want this to be read and I want to put everything out there so you know where I stand. The rest is not in my hands and I can’t control.
Jessica Law:
	I mean, idk what you want me to say
	I have your back, which is why I said anything in the first place
	Because it seemed to me like you’ve been massively unhappy with everything and I’d rather see you happy
Leila:
	One more thing which is not that relevant to my overall point but I am obsessive and want to say everything so that past this point is very clear where I stand and what I think and feel at this point in time. Both you and Charlie have modded people without me who I don’t particularly like, such as harry. I am aware that it’s unrealistic for you guys to wait for me when modding and we only need two to be the majority rule, but I don’t think the two of us have done that at all as of late for he primary reason or not making Charlie feel bad, and I haven’t been given the same basic courtesy. Charlie continues to say how I am the reason that decisions are made simply Bc I say so when nobody agrees. And that was clearly the case considering the information nana was given. If I do share how I feel about team members or situations after the fact it’s also frowned upon and I am literally villainized for simply sharing my opinion as if doing that is someone overpowering or dismissing what him or you guys have discussed or executed. Sorry for the add on but yeah
Jessica Law:
	We made decisions without you because you weren’t around
Leila:
	Idk how to respond to just that after everything I said. Idk it would be nice to have some ideas or at least an inclination of possible solutions to get the three of us on board.
	I know that
	Like I said I get it and I know it’s unrealistic for you guys to wait
Jessica Law:
	the solution for one is the google doc
	That will be a big thing
	Because you guys can actually talk
Leila:
	Ok that’s something I suggested and agreed to without Charlie saying a ducking word
	Like what about something others can do
Jessica Law:
	right and then I talked to him about it and he agreed
Leila:
	Bc I feel like I’ve reAched our enough
	Yeah but you talked to him about responding to me and said he would and it blew over
Jessica Law:
	He did say he would and I can ask him again
Leila:
	You don’t need to tbh
Jessica Law:
	But mostly you know everything
	You know the things he’s mad about and hangups he has
Leila:
	It’s pointless if it’s just oh I need to do this and he can’t simply talk
	This has been months and months and months
	It’s not new
Jessica Law:
	i don’t like how re doesn’t respond either
	I’ve asked him about it quite a few times
Leila:
	So have I
Jessica Law:
	But like you with your walls of text, I think it’s part of his stuff
Leila:
	And somehow I’m the one who winds up fucking apologizing to him and thing to find solutions
	Right I am beyond clear about that
	Just like profusely apologized to Eli simply to find a middle ground
	And that was his reaction too
Jessica Law:
	I know, he can be frustrating, I understand
Leila:
	And I was blamed for that by Charlie just now as well as nana even after that entire fucked situation
	And like today w Robyn
	It’s like yeah well
	All cool and like we literally had her not be an admin Bc she did nothing and thought she was and we did it both feeling horrible Bc we realized it was only Bc she was our friend
	Now it’s the same situation
	But hard for be of the personal aspect
	Which again seems to be overlooked to appease others
	Which I’m fine w like give her whatever shit she wants but it’s very hard for me w her in all the biz channels
Jessica Law:
	I had no intention of overlooking you, I didn’t realize you found her quite so triggering to be around in general
Leila:
	And it’s legit a bunch of drawings and pics about sh
Jessica Law:
	Like yes she shouldn’t really have posted pics
	And that’s part of why I redirected her tw self harm
Leila:
	It’s not simply I can’t be around her at all
	It’s that she is already in every team channel
	Which fine
	And everyone social server and channel I used to be in
	And I legit said I had to mute channels Bc of
Jessica Law:
	Ok, I’m pretty sure tho that this isn’t going to come up again
	And if it’s the sh that triggers…?
Leila:
	I don’t mind being around her sometimes or even talking to her but this is annoying
	It’s the her talking about shit that she legit mimicked and even the phrasing and I get it it’s her illness I don’t even hold it against her I just can’t read it and hear it
	It’s eveything sh body shit ocd shit
	And I feel like legit she’s a mod Bc it’s something to do which I get but she can do a million other things
Jessica Law:
	If it bothers you so much I’ll just ask her to hop down again
	She won’t gaf
	We needed more eyes
Leila:
	Tbh like
	Ok
	I get it
	I’m not gonna have you ask that
	I’m just saying why I’m so fucking frustrated
Jessica Law:
	I see
Leila:
	And it feels like I’m supposed to ignore and put up with everything others do
	And if I do things even fucking type a lot which is a thing and ocd and just how I am it’s literally like stop
	You can’t do that
	Wtf
	And immmediately it’s ok what do I need to do to fix it and even my suggestions are ignored lol
	And idk what to say and idk what you really think about what I just wrote and it’s like idk what to say
	And a vague like ok
	Idk where to go from that
Jessica Law:
	What I would like is for you to actually vc and talk to me like people
	Instead of this
Leila:
	I try to and was about to and you told me you don’t think I should be an exec when I was legit joking around and then shared how Robyn triggered me which tbh seems pretty obvious
	So I get it but like
Jessica Law:
	That was joking?
Leila:
	I am still people if I don’t vc
	No
	Joking before
	Like good morning and normal shit
	And you being bored
	And memes
Jessica Law:
	Ok so I misinterpreted a situation, idk how many times I can apologize for myself
Leila:
	Ok dude
Jessica Law:
	It’s not obvious tbh that you are automatically bothered by Robyn
Leila:
	It’s not automatic
Jessica Law:
	I don’t know why I would assume that
Leila:
	It’s literally what I’ve been saying
	With full on pics and shit and then saying I don’t show scars Bc I scar weird when she’s shared like a million
	And intentionally showed on cam
	For months and months
	And it’s posted a fucking picture of a few lines abound
	Above
	Pics that we wouldn’t allow Bc it’s of sh
	And it’s not one situation
	Like idk how to not take that as dismissive of everything I just shared
Jessica Law:
	i’m not dismissing it
Leila:
	Which was a lot of stuff over a period of time
Jessica Law:
	But it didn’t occur to me that you seeing art like that would trigger you
Leila:
	Saying I misinterpreted one situation
Jessica Law:
	Bc in the context of the moment it was sensical
Leila:
	When I referenced like a bunch
	And like idk how many times I can apologize
Jessica Law:
	Leila you’re killing me
Leila:
	As I I’m like making you apologize and being a shit brining it up
	Same
	Like idk how else to take what you just said in response
Jessica Law:
	Take it like it’s meant
	I apologized, offered solutions, you rejected most of them and just said you were venting, then you vent more, and idk what to do except apologize more since solutions aren’t what you seem to want
Leila:
	I’m not like asking for much I just want like a basic understanding not a how much do I have to apologize like you said in the nana situation as if I’m the bad guy and I’m not listening
	I asked for solutions mainly about Charlie and us talking
	W Robyn I’m just saying how it upset me and is everywhere and bothering me
Jessica Law:
	And I hear you
Leila:
	Like I soecifically asked for solution when you just said idk how many more times I should apologize
Jessica Law:
	I also said that I have your back
Leila:
	And it’s one situation when it’s not
Jessica Law:
	What solution did you ask for
	I must have missed that
	Bc from where I’m sitting you’re just telling me that communication with Charlie is an issue (ok dealt with bc we’re gonna try the doc) and that you’re triggered by Robyn being everywhere all of a sudden
	However when I tell you I can remove Robyn, you don’t want it
	So that leads me to a head tilt
Leila:
	You said I’m sorry and idk what else to say and then I said
	File Transfer: IMG_2200.PNG
	Like I promoted the asking for some possible solutions
Jessica Law:
	Yeah but we already had a solution
	We’ve had one for a few days
Leila:
	Ok
	So a google doc is like the answer to the page I just wrote
Jessica Law:
	Yes
Leila:
	Ok
	So me typing too much is the main issue here and a google doc I suggested is the answer
	This feels like so much shit
	And not just haven
Jessica Law:
	Part of the issue is how Charlie sees you rn and the other part was him not being able to respond properly
Leila:
	And I don’t wanna hurt you or make this more shit
Jessica Law:
	Which I think leads to more misunderstandings and silences
Leila:
	Well that’s not my responsibility
	I’ve taken the steps
	And it was also massively about the other situations
	Involving you and our relationship
	Like
	I literally don’t know how to even take the solution to eveything is a google doc
	And we’ve had the solution for days
	And that’s why you didn’t say anything until I asked and I shouldn’t have asked Bc the solution is already there
	And like
Jessica Law:
	i don’t know if it is the solution but it is a potential solution and we won’t know until you try it
Leila:
	I know
Jessica Law:
	What do you mean I didn’t say anything
Leila:
	About solutions or whatever
Jessica Law:
	when?
Leila:
	Clearly this is my fault
	I type too much
Jessica Law:
	What are you talking about
Leila:
	Which leads to everything
	And the reason you both shared shit w nana
Jessica Law:
	Look that’s not what leads to everything
	Also not true
Leila:
	And told me to trust everyone
Jessica Law:
	Trust some people more
Leila:
	You just said it
Jessica Law:
	You typing a lot isn’t the cause of all the problems??
Leila:
	Yeah more after knowing you guys are talking to nana behind my back
	If the only solution to that whole thing I wrote is a google doc
Jessica Law:
	Nana is no longer a mod
Leila:
	I know
	It doesn’t mean I just forgot the entire situation which Charlie brought up numerous times after the fact
	And dude you say you didn’t say something
	When you did
Jessica Law:
	you’ve both Brough it up
Leila:
	I know I’m not blaming anyone I’m saying why I still talk about even if she isn’t a mod
Jessica Law:
	My fault is I didn’t disagree with her when she told me her view on what was happening
Leila:
	File Transfer: IMG_2201.PNG
	You said you didn’t say that
Jessica Law:
	?
Leila:
	When your response to the exact Hong I mentioned was yes
Jessica Law:
	you’ve got me in loops
	I can’t follow
Leila:
	It’s not a loop
	Ok I will clarify
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	Or if order bottom was first
	You said yes
	And then said you didn’t say that
Jessica Law:
	The google doc is the most potentially successful solution to a wall of text, yes
Leila:
	Like I feel like when I talk lately you say something and then say you didn’t say it or that I misread or misinterpreted it when I don’t know what other way there is to take yes
	I specially asked about the whole thing I wrote
	Not one little part of what I typed
	And then you say it’s not what you said or meant like right after and then it’s like oh what do you want like I’m crazy and just browbeating everything when I literally shared how I felt about the past few months
	I can’t explain what I meant any clearer
Jessica Law:
	Dude I’m sorry, I don’t mean to, I get really overwhelmed and literally can’t remember
Leila:
	Ok but like you say it after w authority and revise something that I just read which basically I validated what I write
	But I get it like
Jessica Law:
	In the last several examples you gave, I have pointed out that what I said was what I meant
Leila:
	I get it but you still say something and then basically say you didn’t right after and this conversation isn’t the first time
	It’s like that part of it that’s hard
	And I’m sorry
	And this sucks
Jessica Law:
	Ok, again, I don’t know what you want me to do other than apologize
	And move on
Leila:
	I try to move on and make strides and literally ignore things like this and I don’t know Bc clearly there is some massive disconnect and I feel guilty just saying what I feel or think and you’re right it is pointless
	And continuing this is pointless