Toratori's self hatred for the event that took place in Shadowmire

23:30] Kiemi'a is quietly crying...
(Kiemi'a Shezorei)
[23:31] Jericho turned, looking towards the students... His face pale. "Oh- Oh no no no no no no..." He'd failed... Failed...

"Xuelian. Get them stable- I. I..." He'd begin darting off.

"I have to get some kits..."
(Jericho)
[23:32] His eyes leave Kalia's departing figure and fixate upon the troupe coming out of the gloomy depths.
(Henry de Vir)
[23:33] Toratori walked in with the group.

His arm slung over Aaron's shoulder as he cried blood of tears.

"I- I- I'm sorry... It's all my fault." Toratori cries silently.

The Ookami's appearance was a mess, blood stained his clothing while holes and tears repeatedly aligned themselves about his clothing.

Utter. Complete. Mess.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry..." he continued to cry softly. "It's all my fault..." his words falling off.
(Toratori)
[23:34] Aaron was using what mana he had left, to carry the others, with tentacles made of water.

As he has seen...Xue...he begins to cry! "XUE, I"M SORRY...."The boy falls to the ground...

The Exarion was not fly, the Dragon has fallen...the life was no more...only horrors and terrors resides on the boy minds....the screaming...the blood...the exhaustion.

Aaron had a big mark on his back....a slash perhaps? but the worst was that his mana circuits were more messed up than before.

"I'M SOOOOOO SORRY!"
(Aaron Exarion)
[23:36] Kiemi'a was crying. Tears of guilt and terror streaked his face as he bore witness to the disaster that was this rescue. Everyone who stood up to fight against the ogre Smurg was handily maimed, or worse...captured. And he did nothing. He felt great shame he stood by and watch everyone get hurt, and he couldn't bear to look at anyone in the eye. He felt undeserving to be part of this family. Kiemi'a tucked himself away in the back, avoiding contact. Though it didn't stop anyone from doing so.

If one did get close enough, the words "I'm sorry..." can be heard in broken sobs.

There were more losses than this adventure had yielded, and he felt selfish not taking part of the burden. Broken limbs, severed extremities, anything imaginable was the price paid. And all he could fixate on was that he did nothing. He could've stood his ground, he should've, but he didn't. Fear superseded it.

He kept his promise to Ignacio...but was it worth standing by to watch in fear...? He had to give back somehow...but how...? He's nowhere close to the finesse his family members have, despite being older than some of the core members. What can he do...?
(Kiemi'a Shezorei)
[23:36] Cedar saw daylight. In glimpses, his vision faded in and out. Thorgon had done a number on him, worse than even Aaron, perhaps even worse than August. His left arm lay limp, though it was not because it was broken, everything was intact, it just...

Ceased. The soul of his left arm had been severed, claimed by the King of The Dullahans. His figure was riddled with bruises, dried blood covering his face, only broken by the trails of tears that had streamed down face. They had a certain glaze to them. Shock, perhaps. He did not speak, if he were to, it would only gurgle more blood. His neck was ravished, red, perhaps even a handprint could be seen.

Piercings in his flesh lined his limbs and his torso, his skin sagging in places where he had been suspended, and his soul ripped from him temporarily. He had laid on the border of life and death, the processing of that still fresh in his mind.

Cedar crumpled to the ground at the sight of Xuelian, Henry, and Jericho. He fell to his knees. His cloak, torn, bloodied. His staff a mess. His fingers found their way into his pockets, and as they met the item's Lamont had left him, they trembled, his lip quivering, tears streaming silently anew.
(Cedar)
[23:39] As August slowly followed his friends, his vison seeming almost completely black, filled with abyss. He could feel the abyss within his system, it was like a deadly sickness pulsating throughout him. He stood silent, a word wouldn't come out of his mouth. He felt as if he wanted to speak but the words wouldn't come out.

He had blacked out during his fight, what did his opponent do to him? Physically he seemed to be okay, except for the slight bruising and cuts dealt by his foe. Although mentally something seemed unstable, his thoughts dark, they were clouded with thoughts of the Mire. A soft voice would be the only thing he could hear, the voice of the Mother of the Mire.

As they got closer to the Academy, he could hear familiar voices he found the strength to pick his chin up only to see Xuelian. He thought back to Howl, he was alive and well but captured. He wouldn't say a single word, but a tear would fall from his eye. He failed, they all did. This was reality and when people feared the Mire this was the true reason.
(August)
[23:46] He watches the tears spill, not quite impassively, but his features do not clearly convey his feelings.

The ragged, distraught band of students in his field of view, oh so very broken. Now was not an appropriate time for a lecture. They clearly needed medical help, and the blonde wouldn't able to provide any.

A piece of paper's withdrawn from the within the depths of his robes and he begins to hastily scribble.


(Henry de Vir)
[23:50] Xue paused, Howl wasn't he held back his tears for now. Hiding his face, before turning to point.

"M-medical wing. We have to treat you." He stated he wasn't looking, he was IGNORING it. In-fact in that moment he ignored himself, he had people to treat. He should just accept the worst, in that moment the hope in his eyes completely died.

He moved in a mechanical motion, he already anticipated the worst. He'd already lived through it. His hair swished as he walked similar to his first few days in the academy, exhausted already. It was like his first days, but there was no smirk.

Ice marked every step where he treaded by he stopped, "...Does anyone need help walking." He paused for a sole statement, quietly trying to ignore the thoughts in his head. Or anything outside either a yes, or no. His thoughts he ignored until they sounded like static in his head, paired with a subtle ringing.

If no one spoke up he'd just continue forward, not a single word after. Before he'd came to the academy, emotions were a worthless thing. So like all bad habits he was quick to throw them to the wayside, nothing good came from them at times like this-

No, that's a lie and Xue knows it. He knows exactly how he feels and just won't show or admit it. No one else needed to know that, not a soul.

It was like a solemn serenity.

Though not a peaceful one, like something before a storm. Bottling every bit of it, the same thing it always used to be. He didn't need tears, nor did he want apologies. His focus was on fixing these people- It wasn't a lie to himself but he chose to believe it.
(Xuelian Bei-Feng)
[23:58] It was his fault... Only if he was stronger... Only if he wasn't so confident... If he had played it smarter.

Toratori laid on the bed as blood trickled down his face. His hand covering his face as he cried softly to himself. "My fault.. All my fault... I was weak..."

His voice broken as much as his spirit.

"It's my fault. . . Lamont. Howl. Ka-Tula.." he whimpered.

"They were captured and it's all my fault." his voice cracking as he laid in his own blood.
(Toratori)
Aaron shook his head...

"I can...walk." And stands, with the mightiness....okay, no but he barely stands, his mana circuits disrupted and his pride shatters.

After a few moments they were back at the academy...more tears went down from the Exarion's eyes.

"Xue…" The boy tried to...give him the bad news...but he couldn't talk...he already could tell...right?

Moments later, Aaron was laying on a bed upside down, He doesn't know if it was his tiredness, or perhaps that his whole body hurt, but this seems to be for him, the best pillow and bed that he had ever felt...

Aaron will now wait for the medical team to do their jobs.
(Aaron Exarion)
 August would push through the body aches and pains he had. As he attempted to move on his own, with each step his vision would fade darker.. and darker. He placed his hand upon the wall of the Academy for support, he walked towards the medical hall time seeming like it wasn't moving at all.

As they approached the medical bay, he quickly moved his way over to the closest bed to the door before collapsing. His injury didn't needed to be treated as fast as the people that lay beside him. Although he would sit by himself, he mumbled to speak but he could barely produce a sound.

His head would feel much hotter than normal, and if someone looked closely into his eyes perhaps they could see the abyss laid upon him set by Torgon for their own. He sat amongst the dark thoughts, the more he thought the more welcoming they seemed to get.
(August)
Cedar was nudged along by his cohorts. Despite his initial relief of seeing Xuelian, his heart panged as he thought of Howl. Still with a faraway look in his eyes, he returned to the academy, stumbling into a bed. He stared at the ceiling, his arm laying off the bed.

Torgon…

His mind drifted back to when his soul had been torn from his body. He had been branded, and felt something of a connection to the King of Dullahans. He knew their next skirmish would end in death. A wager of souls, a most dangerous game.

Cedar coughed violently, sitting up on bed, holding his hand over his mouth. Blood covered his hand. A sign of internal bleeding perhaps, he was sure to have many broken ribs. He fell back, his trail of tears now old on his bloodstained face.

He felt like he had been through Hel, all to save someone who wasn't even fucking there.
(Cedar)
[00:20] Everyone was so butcherred... How could he? He tried not to panic.

He should have gone in, for them.

But that might have made it only worse. He gripped his hands tightly, before moving forwards, towards Toratori quickly. Moving in to notice the somewhat smashed up face, and the eyes which looked...

Terrible. Could he salvage them? It'd take some heavy work. With his eyes closed, he knew he'd need more power than he had alone for this. And would call upon his star, preparring the light around him all into his grip.

Clutched tightly in his hand. With his left however, he'd tap around Toratori's face, putting a few other threads of light in place.

All to numb the area. The bone shards... He could recover the eye, but he'd need those gone. Through careful precise work, the light in his fist would be released. Steady small controlled beams of light, wiping out the shards.

But that still left the remainning damage. Most of it seemed to be focused around the iris. The most difficult part... He'd setup a few very delicate pieces with a trauma kit, preparing what would amount to basically... Very special contacts for Toratori. To replace and aid the damaged front. Not a full replacement, but more so a supplement.

But before those could be put in place, he'd work on fixing the damaged bone structure around the area. Some careful wires and the like. Before finally putting them in place.
(Jericho)
What was that? A faint light?

Raising his hand above him, his vision had finally returned to him. What happened? Why was he still alive? What has become of his friends. He remembered voices. Mr. Jericho, Xue, Aaron... Toratori shook his head side to side as his memory was hazy. He remembered seeing Zetsubo taking a fall, then Howl being crushed against a wall, then... He fell aswell. After that everything went black. He couldn't see after taking the full force of the ogre's fist.

And then. And then...

"HOWL! KA-TULA! LAMONT!" his voice based with panic.

Toratori shot up in the bed, sitting straight as beads of sweat fell down his face. His breathing labored as his eyes frantically scanned the room. "Ow..." he whispered as his vision grew hazy, blinking several times before he was able to see clearly again.

"Wha- What happened..." his voicetrailing off as he found himself in the clinic. Aaron, Ceder, and August in beds while Xue, Mr. Jericho and Zhrani attended to the others.

"What hap-.." His words failing him as he knew what happened to them. Tears of blood slowly trickled down his face as he adverted his eyes from everyone. It was his fault...

His fault...

"I'm... Sorry... It's my fault..."
(Toratori)