In which Jonah battles his demons

<yzabtech[DM]> ==START==
<Jonah_Grey> I punch my shadow self in the dick
<Jonah_Grey> 1d20(13) +1 = 14
<yzabtech[DM]> You step onto Skaia. A dark fog engulfs your surroundings, and you see nothing but your shadow self. You run towards him and punch him in the dick!
<Jonah_Grey> ((I already rolled that one))
<yzabtech[DM]> Or at least you try to.
<yzabtech[DM]> But you failed, because you didn't roll high enough.
<yzabtech[DM]> "You can't punch your inner demons away, fool."
<yzabtech[DM]> "What made you so blind?"
<Jonah_Grey> "But I can still punch them in the dick!"
<yzabtech[DM]> A new voice, coming from the shadow self, says these words.
<yzabtech[DM]> The voice sounds like you.
<Jonah_Grey> That's not how I sound like
<Jonah_Grey> At least, not in my head.
<yzabtech[DM]> "I'm what you really sounds like. To others. Remember them? The ones you doomed?"
<Jonah_Grey> Voices tend to sound a lot different when recorded, or so I heard
<yzabtech[DM]> sound*
<yzabtech[DM]> !roll 1d20+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=11 ] | {12}
<Jonah_Grey> ((what do I roll?))
<yzabtech[DM]> The shadowy figure attempts to punch you, but it doesn't really hurt.
<yzabtech[DM]> ((nothing, i think it's just against armor class))
<yzabtech[DM]> ((which is 16 for both of us))
<Jonah_Grey> ((It's been so long since I actually fought))
<yzabtech[DM]> ((roll 1d20+strength to hit, then if it's 16 or above you roll for damage))
<Jonah_Grey> ((ok))
<yzabtech[DM]> "Your thoughts can't make you hurt physically, but they can destroy you mentally."
<Jonah_Grey> "Yes I do remember"
<Jonah_Grey> "And I fucked up"
<Jonah_Grey> "After this whole gig is over? I'll be either remembered as the one who doomed us all, or the one who nearly doomed us all."
<Jonah_Grey> "But I can STILL"
<Jonah_Grey> "PUNCH YOU"
<Jonah_Grey> "IN THE DICK"
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d20+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=11 ] | {12}
<yzabtech[DM]> The shadowy figure lets you punch him, but your hand goes right through him.
<yzabtech[DM]> "What did I tell you, fool?"
<yzabtech[DM]> !roll 1d20+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=2 ] | {3}
<yzabtech[DM]> The shadowy figure grabs you and pushes you away.
<yzabtech[DM]> "You can't punch your inner demons away."
<yzabtech[DM]> "Now answer me."
<yzabtech[DM]> "What made you so blind?"
<Jonah_Grey> "I always was."
<Jonah_Grey> "Ever since I was small, I stopped caring about the world around me."
<Jonah_Grey> "I guess maybe I could've had a chance here."
<Jonah_Grey> "I did pretty good for a bit, I think."
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d20+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=5 ] | {6}
<Jonah_Grey> "Heh, guess the real world doesn't work that way"
<Jonah_Grey> "Even if my place was an utter shithole"
<yzabtech[DM]> "And that's exactly how the world feels about you."
<yzabtech[DM]> "There are no second chances in real life."
<yzabtech[DM]> "You are doomed to be a failure."
<yzabtech[DM]> !roll 1d20+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=2 ] | {3}
<yzabtech[DM]> "Do you really think Ezra will ever NOTICE you?"
<Jonah_Grey> "Man, for a nega-version of me, you're quite incompetent"
<yzabtech[DM]> "Clearly, she's much happier with Zach."
<Jonah_Grey> "She noticed me alright"
<Jonah_Grey> "The moment I tore everything apart."
<Jonah_Grey> "Speaking of which..."
<Jonah_Grey> "Have you noticed any voices lately?"
<yzabtech[DM]> "Why do you ask?"
<Jonah_Grey> "If you're a carbon copy of me, then surely, you should hear the noise."
<Jonah_Grey> "The static."
<yzabtech[DM]> "I am the static."
<Jonah_Grey> "Huh"
<Jonah_Grey> "That explains fuck all."
<Jonah_Grey> "Or maybe I didn't care enough to notice."
<Jonah_Grey> "Just like the objective of the game"
<Jonah_Grey> "I don't even know what I'm trying to do
<yzabtech[DM]> ((brb))
<Jonah_Grey> ((k))
<yzabtech[DM]> ((back))
<Jonah_Grey> ((yo))
<yzabtech[DM]> "I can tell."
<Jonah_Grey> "Tell me"
<yzabtech[DM]> "I meant, I can tell you have no idea what you're doing."
<Jonah_Grey> "What IS the goal of this game, under usual circumstances"
<yzabtech[DM]> "The goal was to create and govern a new universe."
<Jonah_Grey> "Sounds pretty good"
<Jonah_Grey> "And then you happened"
<yzabtech[DM]> "Your new goal is to put on a show for the audience, since clearly, you weren't meant to govern one at all."
<Jonah_Grey> "A show, eh?"
<yzabtech[DM]> "Yes! By dying!"
<yzabtech[DM]> "The audience would love it."
<Jonah_Grey> I take my phone and open a video. This one should do it. A violin starts playing.
<Jonah_Grey> "This is very unfortunate, since..."
<Jonah_Grey> "You're gazing in the abyss"
<Jonah_Grey> "There's no one around and your phone is dead."
<Jonah_Grey> "Out of the corner of your eye you spot him,"
<Jonah_Grey> I whisper : "Jonah LeGrey"
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d20+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=19 ] | {20}
<yzabtech[DM]> "WHA--"
<Jonah_Grey> "He's following you less then a mile back"
<Jonah_Grey> "He readjusts and goes mach million,"
<yzabtech[DM]> ((roll for damage))
<Jonah_Grey> "He's gaining on you!"
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 7d6+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 7d6+1 --> [ 7d6=28 ] | {29}
<Jonah_Grey> I whisper :
<Jonah_Grey> "Jonah LeGrey"
<yzabtech[DM]> You succeed at punching your shadow-self in the dick. When your fist collided with him, a huge explosion emanated from him, blasting both of you back but with no extra damage.
<yzabtech[DM]> There is now a hole where his groin once was, which regenerates.
<Jonah_Grey> I pause the video
<Jonah_Grey> "You see, now you have less balls than I do, and I'm pretty sure I'm a coward"
<Jonah_Grey> "So that's what? Minus one testicles?"
<yzabtech[DM]> "And yet they came back, unlike yours."
<yzabtech[DM]> "Let's see how you like the same treatment!"
<Jonah_Grey> "Ooh that's a really low blow"
<yzabtech[DM]> !roll 1d20+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=2 ] | {3}
<yzabtech[DM]> Shadow-self attempts to punch you in the dick, but fails because he remembers he's actually a shadow.
<Jonah_Grey> I take the dick punch in the right testicle, but don't flinch
<Jonah_Grey> "You see, a couple of years ago, I got this thing called torsio testis"
<Jonah_Grey> "And the consequence is that I only have one testicle."
<Jonah_Grey> "Hint : it's not there"
<Jonah_Grey> "I mean, you should know, you were there when it happened."
<yzabtech[DM]> "fffffffFFFFFF-"
<yzabtech[DM]> "No matter."
<Jonah_Grey> "Exactly"
<yzabtech[DM]> "Well then."
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d20+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=16 ] | {17}
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 7d6+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 7d6+1 --> [ 7d6=20 ] | {21}
<yzabtech[DM]> "Back to the topic of Ezra, you've completely- WHAT THE--"
<yzabtech[DM]> ((did you punch him in the dick again))
<Jonah_Grey> ((no))
<Jonah_Grey> ((the face this time))
<Jonah_Grey> "Whatever"
<yzabtech[DM]> There's now a hole where his face was, smoke coming out of his neck.
<yzabtech[DM]> The smoke slowly reconstitutes into a face.
<yzabtech[DM]> "DON'T THINK YOU'RE IMMUNE TO THE SAME TREATMENT, SCUM!"
<yzabtech[DM]> !roll 1d20+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=5 ] | {6}
<Jonah_Grey> *pok*
<yzabtech[DM]> Shadow-Jonah remembers he's a shadow again.
<Jonah_Grey> "Anyways"
<Jonah_Grey> I resume the violin music
<Jonah_Grey> "You're looking for your ship, but you're all upside down,"
<Jonah_Grey> "he's almost upon you now"
<Jonah_Grey> "and you can see there's blood on his face!"
<Jonah_Grey> "My god there's blood everywhere!"
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d20+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=9 ] | {10}
<Jonah_Grey> "Nope, bad vibes, tried to hard, got so far, yadda yadda linkin park"
<yzabtech[DM]> The shadow steps to the side.
<Jonah_Grey> I shut down Shia Labeouf instrumental
<yzabtech[DM]> He has his hands behind his back, and a smug look across his face. It really pisses you off.
<Jonah_Grey> "Well, in this case I would say try me, whereafter you would actually be able to hit me."
<Jonah_Grey> "Probably"
<Jonah_Grey> "That's how stories usually work"
<yzabtech[DM]> Shadow-Jonah retaliates. "I'll show you pain."
<yzabtech[DM]> !roll 1d20+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=11 ] | {12}
<yzabtech[DM]> "But I'm a shadow."
<Jonah_Grey> "lol"
<yzabtech[DM]> "For true pain, you can reflect on your current situation."
<Jonah_Grey> "Hella powerful, never could use the powers out of fear of hurting someone."
<Jonah_Grey> "Oh hey, look, it's just you and me"
<Jonah_Grey> "FULL BODY FLURRY"
<Jonah_Grey> I use my FULL BODY FLURRY : once per battle, throw Constitution#(d20 + constitution mod + strength mod). For each hit, attack an enemy within your weapon's range for weapon damage. Cannot critically fail.
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 20#1d26
<NOTTyche[Dice]> Error: Invalid Expression
<Jonah_Grey> ((oh god))
<yzabtech[DM]> ((wait like
<yzabtech[DM]> ))
<yzabtech[DM]> ((literally constitution score? i thought you just meant the mod))
<Jonah_Grey> ((no, because I mentioned the const mod later on))
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d26
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d26 --> [ 1d26=8 ] | {8}
<yzabtech[DM]> !roll 20#1d20+6
<NOTTyche[Dice]> Error: Invalid Expression
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d26
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d26 --> [ 1d26=6 ] | {6}
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d26
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d26 --> [ 1d26=13 ] | {13}
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d26
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d26 --> [ 1d26=8 ] | {8}
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d26
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d26 --> [ 1d26=11 ] | {11}
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d26
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d26 --> [ 1d26=12 ] | {12}
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d26
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d26 --> [ 1d26=21 ] | {21}
<yzabtech[DM]> ((jonah we're not doing this
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d26
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d26 --> [ 1d26=5 ] | {5}
<yzabtech[DM]> ))
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d26
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d26 --> [ 1d26=23 ] | {23}
<yzabtech[DM]> ((let's just get an online thing))
<Jonah_Grey> ((ok sheesh))
<Jonah_Grey> repeat 10 1D20+6 => 19 ; 25 ; 18 ; 12 ; 21 ; 18 ; 21 ; 20 ; 9 ; 19
<Jonah_Grey> repeat 10 1D20+6 => 15 ; 17 ; 11 ; 10 ; 12 ; 23 ; 11 ; 22 ; 9 ; 19
<Jonah_Grey> ((that's 12/20))
<yzabtech[DM]> "WHAT ARE YOU--"
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 84d6+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 84d6+1 --> [ 84d6=301 ] | {302}
<Jonah_Grey> ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA
<Jonah_Grey> ORAAAAAAAA!
<yzabtech[DM]> "THIS CANNOT BE!"
<Jonah_Grey> "I SAID ORA YOU LITTLE SHIT!"
<yzabtech[DM]> "You're going to succumb to your inner demons! You're going to bow before them--"
<yzabtech[DM]> "AAAAAAAAH"
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 1d20+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=19 ] | {20}
<Jonah_Grey> "FUCK YOOOOOUUUUU!"
<Jonah_Grey> !roll 7d6+1
<NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 7d6+1 --> [ 7d6=28 ] | {29}
<Jonah_Grey> ((I think that move might've been a little bit OP))
<yzabtech[DM]> Your inner demons explode into a thousand fragments, which disappear into thin air.
<yzabtech[DM]> The fog lightens, and you can see other people fighting their demons.
<yzabtech[DM]> Their fights.
<yzabtech[DM]> You are now level 30.
<Jonah_Grey> I look at them, and wander off.
<Jonah_Grey> They don't need you right now
<yzabtech[DM]> But part of you can tell that even after you face yourself, the battle's not over yet.
<Jonah_Grey> I put on Shia LeBeouf and hum a small tune of victory.
<Jonah_Grey> (( http://pastebin.com/qrJAc6hd This tune to be exact))
<yzabtech[DM]> ((beautiful))
<yzabtech[DM]> ==END==