Angel Dust drags you out of the Closet part 1

from /hhg/ - Hazbin Hotel #301
The Previous part - "Angel Dust Respects Your Boundaries": https://pastebin.com/YPeNLtNj
Angel Dust drags you out of the Closet part 2: https://pastebin.com/R70V5q6S
Angel Dust drags you out of the Closet part 3: https://pastebin.com/k0DnTPfi
Angel Dust drags you out of the Closet part 4: https://pastebin.com/bddZMnj4
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>You pull the spoon out of your mouth and just barely manage to avoid choking on your food as Angel slips in an innuendo that leaves you in stitches
>Real laughter, not the forced, uncomfortable laughter of someone expecting the person they're talking to to violate them at any moment
>Now that you understand you can trust that Angel won't try to cross the line, you're finding that he's actually got some pretty good lines up his many sleeves
>Sure, some of them are so corny you can't imagine them actually getting anyone laid, ever, and a lot of them are also downright filthy, but the guy's got some pretty great wordplay

>Vaggie seems less amused, glaring daggers at Angel over her oatmeal
>That's right, she's been getting after him about his flirtations lately
>On the one hand, you can understand where she's coming from
>And you do like the woman well enough. Perhaps more importantly, Charlie, the gentlest soul you've seen down here, likes her, so she has that going for her
>But then, on the other hand, there is that part of you, the little kid with a water balloon part, that kind of wants to needle her just a bit, at any opportunity
>She just makes it so easy with that fussy, serious disposition of hers
>So you decide to do something you've never done before
>You flirt back

Cont.
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>You pull out a stupid phallic double entendre you've always had in the back of your head
>Who knows where it came from, probably something you saw in a cheap paperback full of lousy jokes you leafed through in a dentist's office when you were still alive
>Angel seems caught just a bit off-guard, but then he smirks wickedly and fires back an even dirtier play on what you just said
>You issue a return salvo of any make-a-sailor-blush remarks you can remember, and he answers in kind
>You really can't keep up with him, but that's not the point
>You can feel a hysterical giggle rising up in you, and one look at Angel tells you he's in the same boat
>The both of you are having a very hard time keep up a serious facade as you watch Vaggie's eye grow ever wider and her jaw drops lower and lower

>You run out of lines before he does, and he suddenly reaches down toward your lap

>Only to lightly rest his hand on the very edge of your knee, no further

>But Vaggie can't see that from her side of the table
>It takes you a moment to figure out what he's up to after he starts twisting his elbow in a seemingly nonsensical way, but then you notice Vaggie's normally ash-grey cheeks turning a hectic shade of pink
>"Oh for crying out loud, get a room you two."
>She abruptly scoots her chair away from the table and excuses herself, gulping down the last of her food as she walks
>Angel ceases his faux-groping and calls after her
>"We got a fine room right here, we were just waiting for you to get out of it!"
>"Perverts!"
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>Angel waits until she's out of earshot before hooking a pair of arms around your shoulder and beginning to laugh himself hoarse.
>"Oh man that was killer! Didja see the fuckin' look on her face? You nailed it man!"
>He holds a third hand up and you meet it in a quick high five
>You start cracking up as well. You haven't played a prank on someone like that in a long time.
>It's just starting to dawn on you that Angel is rather close and he smells like cucumber and melon when he abruptly releases you and settles back into his seat
>"Ah jeez now I'm gonna have to apologize to her at some point."
>You murmer a vague concurrence, distracted by the fact that you essentially just got a hug from Angel, and it wasn't half bad.
>"Anyway I gotta get outta here. I got no bourbon and no mascara left and it's starting to feel like a damn prison camp around here."
>He stands up and sashays off, leaving you to finish your breakfast alone.

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>You smile in greeting at Vaggie, walking the opposite way down the hall with a bundle of papers tucked under one arm, as she often does in the evenings
>Although you're on friendly enough terms with her, you don't really chat all that often, so it comes as a bit of a surprise when you feel the touch of her gloved hand on your arm to stop you
>"So...Anon."
>She comes off as a bit awkward tonight
>"It seems like I misread the situation."
>She did?
>"I've been trying to get Angel to cool it with the lewd remarks lately. I told him it was innappropriate..."
>Yeah, he'd mentioned that.
>"...I didn't realize you two were a couple."
>A WHAT!?!?
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>She continues, seemingly oblivious to the shock that sentence has inflicted on you
>"Listen, I think it's great. I'm happy for you two. But can you PLEASE tone down the PDAs just a bit?"
>You find yourself stammering, in spite of your best efforts, as you try to explain to her that you're NOT dating Angel Dust
>"Right, right, you're 'just havin some fun' aren't you?"
>She fixes you with a knowing smile, in spite of how COMPLETELY off the mark she is
>"Whatever you're calling it, I think it'll be good for him."
>"I think you'll be good for him."
>"I don't think he's really held many steady relationships. He's not a bad...well, actually, he is a bad guy, but he's not pure evil. Having something to ground him, having someone to think about besides himself, well, it seems like that would really help."
>She reaches up to pat your shoulder
>"Anyway, the bottom line is that it's good that you're together, just ease up with the kissy-kissy all the time okay?"
>With that, she walks off toward whereever it is she's always taking those papers, leaving you to sputter futilely about how mistaken she is
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