Planescape: Equestria 11

“Forgive my bluntness, but… I think you have something of mine.”
>Well, that’s a refreshingly straightforward approach.
>Doesn’t seem to be much to gain by holding out, so you reach into your pocket and bring out the bag of crystals, holding it up for her to see.
“Unless you left this jacket I’m wearing on a coat rack at the opera in the Lady’s Ward a few months ago, I guess you must be talking about these,” you say with your most disarming grin.
>Celestia doesn’t grace your quip with a smile – you don’t know if she even heard it. There’s a fierce intensity in her face as she regards the bag in your hand.
“…may I?” she asks, as her horn glows faintly and you feel a light disembodied touch on the bag.
>You hadn’t really expected her to ask. It’s nice of her to give you the chance to be gracious about it.
“Be my guest, Princess.”
>You let the bag go as it lifts from your hand and floats over to where the princess is seated.
>There’s a faint rattling of solid glass on marble as she tips the contents out in front of her, and sits staring at them for some time.
“They’re beautiful,” she says softly. “I’d never seen them before, although they are ours – my sister’s and mine.”
>You wait for some time to see if she’s going to expand on that, but she seems lost in a reverie as she gazes down at the glittering glass crystals on the floor in front of her.
>A couple of minutes slip slowly by, and you give a quiet cough to remind her of your presence.
“Princess Celestia? Not that I doubt your ability to take them from me, or anything, if you want to – but, in what sense are they yours? Just, you know, for my information.”
>She gives a faint smile at that, though the sadness around her eyes is deep and abiding.
“They are mine as my mane is mine, or as the words that I speak are mine. Another may come to hold them for a time, but they could never be other than mine, and my sister’s.”
“So you created them?”
“They emanated from us.”
“…I’m not sure if I properly understand that distinction.”
“I mean to say that it was not a conscious act of creation, but only something that occurred. These things came from us.”
>Your brain chews on that for a moment, and then insight strikes – and you wish it hadn’t, because now you can’t stop thinking of them as her droppings.
>She can’t possibly have actually meant that, right?
>Obviously you’re not going to mention it.
“Princess… are they… your poop?”
>NONONO that’s NOT not mentioning it-
>She gives a chuckle, despite the filthy looks you are getting from a couple of her guards.
“Wrong end of the royal person, Anonymous. They are our tears.”
“Oh. Oh, right. That makes a lot more sense. It’s also kind of a relief.”
>Her smile fades away – sun slipping behind the clouds.
“So you understand what I mean, when I say that they can never be other than mine,” she says. “Yet, I do acknowledge your right of possession, as well. I would prefer not to rob you, Anonymous, if it can be avoided – but robbery is something I am capable of, to secure my claim to these, if you will not yield them any other way.”
“I’m pretty sure we can work something out,” you say hurriedly.
“Good,” she nods, a faint smile returning. “I had hoped you would be a reasonable person. My little ponies seem to have taken quite a shine to you.”
“Yeah, we’ve been getting along fine. Mostly.”
“I am pleased to hear it. It is, perhaps, not a bad thing to broaden their horizons - although I would not have exposed them to quite such a broadening as Sigil must have provided, if it could have been avoided.”
“They handled themselves more than capably there, Princess. Perhaps you don’t give them enough credit.”
“Perhaps. But it’s not their capabilities that I doubt – only their innocence that I wish to preserve. There is nothing more precious.”
“Hmm. Well, I can see your qualms then. I don’t guess there’s anywhere else on the planes quite like Sigil for despoiling innocence. But for what it’s worth, I think your ponies came out mostly unscathed on that count too. Although… they have questions.”
“And have you given them answers?”
“Err… a few. Twilight seems particularly keen to learn about the planes and all; I’ve sated her curiosity where I could.”
“Yes, Twilight Sparkle’s thirst for knowledge is a formidable force,” Celestia says with an indulgent smile. “I cannot blame you for answering her questions, and perhaps it was inevitable that she would eventually find such answers somewhere. Only one other pony has ever matched her capacity for learning, and only one pony has ever travelled the planes – that is, if we overlook yesterday’s brief excursion. It is hardly a coincidence. This world is too small for the likes of her.”
“I have some questions of my own…” you say tentatively.
“Yes, I suppose you do,” Celestia smiles. “I owe you some answers, but please understand: there are some things I simply cannot tell you. I am a terrible liar, so I will not insult you by dissembling – but neither will I tell you anything I do not wish to. You understand.”
“Yeah. Sure. So… let’s start with what plane I’m in.”
“You are in a sealed demiplane. Access in and out is controlled by myself, Princess Luna, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, and two other beings whom I will not name.”
“Okay. Fair enough.”
>Cogs tick over in your head as you weigh the implications of that.
“Who created this demiplane?”
“One of those who control its portals.”
“Why is there a stone dabus in the woods near P0nyville?”
“I honestly do not know. A statue?”
“Maybe. What else might it be?”
“One might suppose it to have been a living dabus that ran into a cockatrice.”
“And what would it have been doing there?”
“Making its way through the woods I suppose.”
“Are you aware of there having been a dabus in Equestria recently?”
“Why yes, you just told me of a stone one in the woods near P0nyville.”
>She smiles ingenuously.
“…oh, fine. Next. Why don’t the ponies worship you?”
“Because it has never occurred to them to do so, and that is how I prefer it.”
“But you’re a Power. A goddess. You know that, right?”
“I know that that is how one such as you would classify me.”
“All the sages I’ve ever spoken with say that that kind of power comes from belief. So if not the ponies, who believes in you?”
>She just shakes her head with a rueful smile.
“I don’t have to justify myself in your terms, Anonymous. I am what I am.”
“Then nobody worships you?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“No, you didn’t… okay. What happened to Corder?”
“He was imprisoned in a maze by the one called the Lady of Pain.”
“As I thought. And why didn’t I share his fate, even though I’m the one with the prize from our little ride?”
“Because I exercised my influence on your behalf.”
“… you protected me from the Lady of Pain? Within the bounds of Sigil?”
“That is broadly accurate, yes.”
“How?”
“The magic of friendship,” Celestia replies glibly.
>You search her face for some clue as to what that can possibly mean, but her gentle smile is sphinx-like.
>You give a sigh, defeated.
“You might not be a good liar, but you’re pretty amazing at not telling the truth,” you say wrily.
“Thank you,” Celestia says with the air of graciously accepting a sincere and well-deserved compliment. “Is your curiosity satisfied for the timebeing?”
“Not even close. But, probably as close as it’s going to get. I suppose I should thank you for your intercession.”
“You’re very welcome. Shall we discuss the terms on which you’ll be content to let my Tears remain here with me?”
“All right. So, it’s like this: I traded everything for those baubles. I didn’t mean to, but that’s what I staked on the dice, and that’s how they came up, so here I am. That’s my own bad luck or bad judgement, and I don’t expect to be recompensed in full for everything I lost – but it’d be nice to make a trade that’s in some way commensurate to the risk that I took and the price that I ended up paying.”
“I can’t agree that you lost everything,” the princess says with a comforting tone. “You still have what’s most important to you, don’t you?”
“I guess I do, at that. Sure did lose a lot of nice shiny things, though.”
“Shiny things, I can help you with. Equestria is awfully rich in mineral wealth, as you may already have noticed. Gemstones that would buy kingdoms on the Prime adorn ball-gowns by the dozen here.”
“Then we shouldn’t have a problem, shower me with jewels and I’ll be happy enough. Of course, some of what I lost was irreplaceable… pieces of history, and whatnot. But I never was really one for clinging on to the past. Digging it up, that’s the interesting part. Once that’s done, I can pass on hanging on to the relics, I suppose. Talking of digging up the past, though, I sure would be interested in hearing how those tears came to be shed, and how they achieved the sort of significance that they obviously have now.”
>Celestia just shakes her head once more with an apologetic smile.
“I’m sorry. You deserve to know, but the secret is not mine alone, and even if it were then I would be very loath to part with it.”
“I figured as much. Never mind. Fabulous wealth will do.”
“And where will you go with your wealth?”
“…yeah. I’m not too sure about that. There are about twenty of the highest of high-ups on the planes who I would have preferred never to have been noticed by at all who will all be shuffling me right to the very top of their shit lists about now. Not too many places I can hide from attention like that.”
“There are indeed not many,” Celestia agrees. “But a few places are tailor made for just such a contingency. You happen to be standing in one right now.”
“You have that much faith in this plane’s ability to stay hidden?”
“I do. It is a sanctuary – that is its nature.”
“And you’d be happy for me stay here?”
“I would,” Celestia says with a warm smile. “I invite you most cordially to spend as much time here as you wish. It’s the least I can do in return for your reasonableness over the matter of these Tears. And anyway, I think some of my ponies would be quite disappointed to see you rush off again too soon.”
>You can only smile at how Celestia has managed this. She doesn’t even need to throw you in a dungeon – it’s you who needs the sanctuary she offers. And word of the Tears’ location doesn’t leave the plane.
“Are we agreed, then?” she asks. “You will stay for a time? Shall I call the ponies back and announce the result of our discussion?”
>Why fight it? Maybe you’re a prisoner, but at least the jail is pretty nice.
“…yeah. That’ll be fine.”
>She nods to a guard, who goes to send word.
“I’m so glad we could resolve this all amicably, Anonymous.”
“Yeah… me too.”
>You feel a little bit like you just got fucked, but at least she was pretty gentle. You’ve had worse.