Here it is

Kek before I die. Anonymous 30/07/17 09:56 /#/ 3757386
Niggers today my country is going down the road to fuck itself, so I thought I'd do a greentext of the cringiest thing that has
happened to me in my whole life, and so I leave with a kek in my face and a kek in your hearts niggers, so here it is, and always remember this anon with love.

The greentext is pretty long but give good keks

Also: if a guy named juan dies today with an Ñ in his chest, you know who it is
>be me
>be 12
>10 PM
>be at home
>go to the bathroom to take a shit
>mom's taking a bath
>NotProblem.jpg
>I enter after days of not leaving my room for a game that had me really fucking addicted
>Remember I haven't taken a shit in a week
>try to shit, with no results
>ButthurtMoans.mp3
>Mother asks what's going on
>Mommy I can't shit
>Mother tells me to keep pushing with force
>ScreamWithMight.webm
>start feeling the tip coming out
>"almost, it's almost out"
>strengthless, that piece of shit goes back in my anal cave
>mommy I can't shit!
>my mother worries, puts on a robe and runs to call my stepdad
>"turn on the motorcycle, we have to take him to the hospital"
>they take me with only my boxer shorts through the whole city center on a motorbike
>red light
>everything will be fine nobody's looking
>a car stops next to us
>whole family turns around and sees me half naked
>MotherfuckerFloorThisShit.Mp4
>stepdad skips the red light to save the little dignity I had
>he keks during the whole trip to the hospital
>get to the hospital
>get down the motorcycle
>bunch of people notice I smell like shit (because I hadn't taken a bath) and I'm in my underwear
>mother arrives in a taxi
>enters the ER
she's a nurse so she knows everyone there
>gets them to let me in
>tells them I can't shit well
>Whole room laughs
>ShutYourMouthOldBitch.rar
>ass starts to hurt
>tell my mother
>she takes me to the bathroom
>a nurse comes in and says
"don't worry I'm a professional this is my job"
>pulls down my pants
>i obey
>she puts some kind of injection in my ass
>TheFuckSThisShit.Gif
>start feeling uncomfortable
>tells me that thing will make me want to take a shit
>want to, and don't retain the liquid she put in my ass
>all the liquid comes out
>happens various times
>the nurse gets dogged and leaves the bathroom
>my mother walks in
>"are you ok?"
>"No, she put an injection in my ass and it did nothing"
>"wait here I'll look for help"
>Mother looks for 2-meter tall black nurse that looked like an ugly trap.
>"don't worry sweetie I'll help you rest"
>at this point it was almost midnight
>nurse proceeds to to put a bit of her fingers in my anus trying to take the shit out
>shedidnt.fix
>mom tells nurse to leave the room for a bit
>i'm scared, because i know what comes next is not good
>mom tells me
>"close your eyes and take a deep breath"
>she puts her whole hand in my anus
>ScreamOfAGrillWithNiggerAndThousandSunsPower.Mp3
>start crying of pain
>my mother put so much strength that she raised my body a couple centimeters above the floor
>"anon stop moving"
>still shouting and crying like a bitch
>my screams can be heard through the whole emergency room
>mom can't pull the turd out
>her hand's now stuck in my ass
>TakeItOutForFuckSake.Gif
>she calls the trap nurse outside the room
>she enters and looks at the scene
>she stands there shocked
>mom tells her to help her take her hand out of my ass
>i'm still crying
>she helps her and they manage to pull out the hand
>FeelsGood.jpg
>breathe and calm down, but I can't walk
>they look for a bed and put me in a room
>rest for a few minutes and the trap nurse walks in
>"anon, this thing I'm going to inject in your ass is what we give pregnant women to make it easier to push the baby out during birth"
>OhForFuck'sSake.jpg			(Coñoesumadre is WAY better by the way, fite me)
>accept since I've no other option
>they inject it in my ass and this time it has an effect
>start having a diarrhea of such magnitude that an explosion left me and I got the nurse's uniform full of shit
>Heelp!! i can't control it!!
>they pick me up quick and try to take me to the bathroom while i'm still shitting all the way there, leaving a trail of my shit
>we get to the bathroom
>push with all my might
>nurse and mom are in front of me and they didn't shut the door
>see how people in the ER approach and watch
>Motherfucker.gif
>I didn't care, I wanted to shit and leave as fast as possible
>start shouting with fury until i got the first turd out
>after that, 3 more came along
>almost faint after using all that strength
>mom took a pic of the 3 shit balls I left and sends them to her friends through her phone
>trails of shit are left on the walls and the floor after my fight with my ass
>they were of magistral size, almost like a small room football
>everyone in the ER starts clapping
>my mother hugs me
>see the janitor lady come around
>sees the disaster I left
>"I don't know who in the flying fuck is cleaning all this shit up, but it ain't gonna be me"
>she rages and I kek hard
such was the shitstorm that the janitor didn't want to clean it up
>after a few minutes she enters the bathroom and tries to flush
>that shit gets stuck and all the toilet water rushes out
>ohboi.exe
>mom says we gotta go because she ain't paying for no motherfucking toilet
>get up on motorcycle with mom and stepdad
>boxers are full of shit

sometimes I look at the trap nurse and she tells
me that it was her who made me rest after what
happened i shit twice a day just in case but i'm
still scared from time to time ;-;

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Anonymous (OP) 31/07/17 04:52 /#/ 3760490
My little niggers, I am sorry to inform you that today this thread's OP died, I'm
his little brother we liked to chan together and i was here when he made the thread,
my brother died this afternoon and if you don't believe me here's the list of today's
dead, it's him niggers i can't deal with this shit government tomorrow I'm going to
protest and killing each and every one of those bastards