Normal Norman - Octavia & Vinnyl

>Be Renate Pfeiffer, German exchange student
>I rarely get called that though
>Due to my talent with the cello, the music professor gave me the nickname "Octavia" and it just stuck with everyone else
>Don't really care about what the "in crowd", or whatever they're calling themselves, do
>I'm in another country, studying in a different continent, and making my family proud by playing in both formal events and sponsored concerts
>Don't know about you, but that's good enough for me
>However, I can't seem to get Alvina, some electronica-obsessed girl, off my back
>Apparently, her parents forced her to go to one of my concerts in an attempt to get her off that horrendous music, and she recognized me from school
>Now she won't leave me alone and constantly tries to get me to listen to what she calls "Vinny's Epic Wubs", whatever the hölle that's supposed to mean
>I refuse to call her that as well
>Alvina is a beautiful name, rich in history and culture, both in literature and song
>Vinny sounds like some sort of Italian mobster
>Stupid, idiotic, uncultured, incompetent Italians...
>Anyhow, I seem to be able to avoid her easily enough between classes by wearing a green wig
>No such luck after school

>I recently heard from her that there was a new student attending the school
>Some guy named Norman, and apparently he was a Neo-Nazi!
>Truth be told, part of me wants to strangle him, but another part of me pities him
>After all, apparently his parents set him up for failure by giving him that name in the first place
>Norman, as in old deutsche for northerner? Referring to Prussians and Scandinavians?
>Ugly, stupid, barbaric, irredeemable Scandinavians...
>That was like calling one's son Bennito!
>However, some purple girl can't seem to stay away from him
>According to Alvina, she claims to be a princess from some horse world
>Typical slavic, starting the day with a bottle

>Friday night
>Somehow, Vinny "convinced" me to go with her to some club she works in during weekends
>The way she "convinced" me reminded me of stories my grandfather used to tell me of his time in the Deutsche Demokratische Republik
>"Remind me vhat I'm doing here." - I asked her coldly.
>"Oh come on, don't be like that! Since apparently no shop can fix your computer and you don't have a cellphone or a tablet, I might as well show you my album by playing it live!"
>Note to self: Reread grandfather's journal in order to come up with better lies
>"Well, I've got to get to work now. Go on and have fun, I'll catch you later!"
>Before I could answer back, she was gone
>Perfect. There was a reason I brought my green wig
>Putting it on, I made my way to the front door. No one would recognize me as long as I had it on
>Few people coming in and out, I'd be able to slip out unnoticed
>Almost at the door
>"Hey, it's Octy!"
>Octy...
>No way...
>There's no way that imbec-
>"It's you, isn't it? Yes it is! Wow, didn't think you liked going to clubs!" - I heard as I felt my wrist being grabbed just before being turned around to face...
>Brad

>How this Irish-descended neanderthal recognized me with my wig, I don't even know
>"Hallo Brad. It was gut seeing you. If you'll excuze me, I've got to go." - I said, trying to turn around and just leave
>"Wait! Come on, me and some friends managed to get a table!" - he replied as he pulled me towards said table
>To be honest, I fully expected the table to be occupied by the testosterone-filled anglo-saxons and zulus of the football team
>I'd never expected the neo-nazi guy and the slavic girl
>Correction, just the new guy. The girl fit perfectly here
>"So as I was saying, Ted passes the ball to me so I start running over to their..."
>Brad just continued talking and talking...
>The looks on both... er.... oh, right, Norman, and the purple slav, told their thoughts quite clearly
>The purple girl looked genuinely interested in Brad's explanation of a sport as barbaric as the original English-invented game it was based on
>Norman, on the other hand, looked ready to jump off a cliff
>With nothing better to do, I decided to talk to him
>"You do know people from many colorz and breedz go to clubz, right? So vhy are you here?" - I asked casually to someone so filled with hate
>"... wait, are you calling me a racist?" - he asked, apparently insulted by my question. Typical
>"No, I'm juzt vondering vhy you decided to come here."
>"Well, I had to get my mind off school, and Brad invited Purple to come here, and she invited me, so I thought what the hell, might give it a chance."
>He seriously calls the only person who talks to him Purple...
>"By the way, what's with the wig? I know your hair ain't green." - It was a fair question, to be honest
>"To hide. I play in high-clazz eventz. Have had my own concertz. I'm ze best cellist in the ze school, and is the reason I'm in zis country in ze first place. I can't be seen here."
>"Ah..." - he answered emptily. "Well, don't worry. I won't tell anyone about you partying or anything."
>"Danke, I suppose..."

>Be Vinny
>It's time to start the show
>"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" - I yelled into the microphone
>"PARTY" - yelled back the club
>"GOOD! BECAUSE DJ-HU3M4N IS IN DA HAUS!"
>And here we go. With skillful movement of dials and buttons, I began doing my thing.
>Lets see what Ms. Fancy thinks about this now

>Be Renate
>OhdearGodwhatinthefuckisthatnoise!
>The crowd is definitely going crazy, and what had been people dancing earlier has now turned into a riot
>"AWRIGHT, COME ON TWILY! LETS DANCE!" - yelled Brad, pulling the purple slavic girl to the dance floor
>However, she apparently didn't see it fit to leave her friend behind, and grabbed his hand, dragging him along
>"Vell, you enjoy your night. I've got to gAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" - I couldn't help but yell as my arm got grabbed again, getting pulled into a human chain heading into the last place I ever wanted to be in
>The Dance Floor
>Minutes passed, feeling like hours, the sheer human ocean keeping me trapped there while being bombarded with what could only be described as a computer's sound card having a seizure
>"COME ON OCTY, DANCE!" - yelled out Brad despite him being right next to me
>Then again, with this noise, yelling was the only way to communicate
>What happened next caught me by surprise, as Norman grabbed my hand
>"COME ON, LETS DANCE!" - he said as he tried to lead a dance with me
>Or rather, it looked like dancing. Then again, compared to the random spazzing of everyone there, a drugged monkey would look like an expert dancer
>"OK, JUST DO AS I DO!" - he said, moving from side to side, making hand and arm gestures, and so on
>I'm just glad he didn't ask me to flail my arms

>As much as I hate to admit it, and as horrific as the noise was, this was rather fun
>This went on for a few more minutes before the "rythm" of the... -can't actually call it a song, but rather- noise slowed down
>"Oh! Hold on, let me try something!"
>"Try something? Vhat do you mea- WOAH, HEY!"
>"Relax. I saw this in a movie." - he said as he began spinning while holding unto me
>For a moment there, I thought he was trying to do some salsa, which kind of eased my mind
>That turned into horror when the idiot let go
>I would later learn that what he was trying to do was some sort of disco move, and the movie he was referring to was "Airplane"
>When I regained my composture, I looked around to try and get my bearings
>I found myself next to one of the gigantic speakers
>At the slowest point of the song
>OHSWEETMOTHEROFGO-
>WUB-WUB-WUB WUBWUB WUBWUB-WUB-WUB-WUB WUBWUBWUBWUB WUB WUB-WUB-WUB

>Be Vinny
>Music, lights, dancing, booze, party
>Being a DJ, even if only part-time and during weekends, is the best damn job ever
>Got to wonder though, where is Tavi?
>Haven't seen her all night since I left her down there
>Eh, must be having fun. Can't really blame her, what with my PHAT BEATS playing!

>Be Renate
>Oh sweet mother of God, somebody please make it stop
>Getting spun around for a few seconds, followed by being thrown, left me in an unbalanced, dizzy state
>On itself, that wasn't as bad as it could have been
>The 110 decibels suddenly being blasted out right next to me, however, did manage to knock me down on my face
>"Holy crap, I'm so sorry! Are you alright?!" - he said as he made his way towards me through the crowd
>Not that I could hear him, mind you, what with noise being blasted almost directly into my skull
>"I'm so sorry about that! I could have sworn it was going to work!" - he apologized pathetically
>A part of me told me to just slap him across the face and leave the place already
>However, the lady within me, however, told me to accept his apology and give him another chance to make up for his mistakes
>"Hey, are you two alright?" - came asking the purple girl. I need to make a note to actually learn her name
>"Ja, ja, I'm fine. Don't vorry you two. Just a bit dizzy." - I answered. Truth be told, my head was killing me after that
>However, there seemed to be someone missing - "Where's Brad?" - asked Norman
>"Oh, he went to get some drinks. Said he wanted something called vodka, and that he'd get me some too. How nice of him!"
>An irish and a slavic drinking together... there is something magical about that
>Never change, purple girl. You make your forefathers proud. Perhaps some day you'll be a cosmonaut or a great engineer

>"Vell, I think I'll be leaving now. You two enjoy ze party." - I said, starting to walk away from there. It was about time I left
>"Wait. I know that ended pretty badly, but let me make it up to you! Do you want a drink or something too?" - offered Norman
>To be honest, a drink would be very welcome
>Thus I decided to listen to my inner lady and give him another chance
>I now realize ladies are utterly moronic
>"Eh, fine. A drink would be good about now." - I replied, and so the three of us went to where Brad was getting the drinks
>"Twily! Over here! I got an umbrella for yours!"
>I immediately regretted it
>"With Brad's ID, we're good to go. So, what do you want? A tequila, a martini, a... uh... a whiskey?" - said Norman, obviously straining to think of alocholic drinks
>Well, atleast that told me he wasn't an alcoholic, so he had that going for him
>"I'll just have a vhite russian." - I answered nonchalantly, to which he gave me a confused look, followed by nervously looking around
>"Er... are you hitting on me?"
>My left eyebrow couldn't have been raised more even if the people at the dance floor fully raised the roof
>I don't know what that sudden bulge in his pockets was, but as soon as a noodle popped out, I decided I didn't want to know

>"... nein. It's a drink." - I coldly replied. He seemed to get the message, as he immediately left to get it
>So far, this had been a terrible night, but atleast I had a moment to breathe now, even if it was muddled by the noise and both Brad and the purple girl practically yelling next to me just to talk
>A while later, Norman returned with our drinks
>"Sorry I took so long. Apparently there's only one bartender, and like fifty people there."
>"No vorries. Atleast I could re-" - I wasn't able to finish that sentence before the purple girl jumped unto Norman, hanging from his neck
>"'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Normy, ah've got an ibea. Whai don't ai show Octy sum majic?"
>What. How could she be drunk already?! That was ONE glass! I can't help but, somehow, feel disappointed
>"Er... I'm zorry, but I don't lean zat vay." - I answered back
>"Purple, get off me!" - yelled Norman, trying to shake her off
>And spilling my drink all over me
>"GAAAAAAH! HURENSOHN!" - I yelled out as I jumped off my chair, inadvertedly drawing attention in our direction
>"OHSHITI'MSOSORRYHERELETMEHELPYOU!" - exclaimed Norman, rapidly moving in my direction while still having the purple girl hanging from him
>This was going to end badly
>The table agreed, as it moved slightly between Norman and I as Brad got up, causing Norman to trip
>Next thing I know, I'm on the floor with a drunk slavic girl on top of me, Norman having been able to hold on to a chair
>"GET OFF ME!" - I yelled out in sheer frustration, anger having fully taken over
>"But yu're so sooooooofvt." slurred out the purple girl as I tried to push her off
>Brad and Norman then came over and pulled her off me
>However, as they were about to pull me up, I noticed something
>Something terrible
>A part of my skirt had slipped under one of the table's legs during the fall, and was now jammed
>"VAIT, STOP!"
>*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP*

>Excluding the noise in the background, there was silence
>As I got up by myself, lower undergarments fully exposed, there was complete silence
>After all, what was there to say that my glare wasn't saying already?
>"'ey Normy, dat looks laik da ones those worn in yer anatomy collection, hehehehe."
>At that point, I should have exploded
>Probably should have broken a bottle over Norman's head
>However, my anger was such, it went full circle and ended up in calmness
>In such a state, I could do nothing but just walk up to him
>"Norman, I just vant to say, this has been the vorst night I've ever had in mein life."
>"Yeah, I can understand that..." - he replied, great shame and terror present in his voice
>"Now, I think you should leave and take your friend home. And never speak to me again." -I then tugged out my ripped skirt from under the table's leg and walked away
>With a deep sigh, I headed to the bathroom to see what I could do to fix this, stopped when someone called for me again
>"Hey Tavi! Wait up! I just finished with my shift andWOAH GIRL! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!" - asked Alvina, stopping within a meter of me
>"I'd rather not talk about it." - I replied as I continued to the bathroom
>"Damn! You like to party hard, dontcha?!" - she mocked before a thought occurred to me
>"Vait, how'd you recognize me?!"
>"What do you mean? I just saw you and ran towards you." - she answered as I frantically touched my head
>"Oh no..." - I whispered, before it escalated into a continuous stream of "NEIN-NEIN-NEIN-"
>I quickly rushed into the bathroom, looking at myself in the nearest mirror, confirming my worst fears
>"ZAT DAMNED ITALIAN!"
--------------------------
>Be Norman
>Octavia was right, I had to get Purple home before she got her drunk ass into trouble
>Now if only she'd stop poking me
>"What is it?" - I said, turning to look at her
>"'ey Norman, gess who I am!" - she said, putting on a strangely-familiar green wig
>Oh shit

And that's it for this story.