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Normal_Norman

Normal Norman - Octavia & Vinnyl

Jun 2nd, 2013
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  1. >Be Renate Pfeiffer, German exchange student
  2. >I rarely get called that though
  3. >Due to my talent with the cello, the music professor gave me the nickname "Octavia" and it just stuck with everyone else
  4. >Don't really care about what the "in crowd", or whatever they're calling themselves, do
  5. >I'm in another country, studying in a different continent, and making my family proud by playing in both formal events and sponsored concerts
  6. >Don't know about you, but that's good enough for me
  7. >However, I can't seem to get Alvina, some electronica-obsessed girl, off my back
  8. >Apparently, her parents forced her to go to one of my concerts in an attempt to get her off that horrendous music, and she recognized me from school
  9. >Now she won't leave me alone and constantly tries to get me to listen to what she calls "Vinny's Epic Wubs", whatever the hölle that's supposed to mean
  10. >I refuse to call her that as well
  11. >Alvina is a beautiful name, rich in history and culture, both in literature and song
  12. >Vinny sounds like some sort of Italian mobster
  13. >Stupid, idiotic, uncultured, incompetent Italians...
  14. >Anyhow, I seem to be able to avoid her easily enough between classes by wearing a green wig
  15. >No such luck after school
  16.  
  17. >I recently heard from her that there was a new student attending the school
  18. >Some guy named Norman, and apparently he was a Neo-Nazi!
  19. >Truth be told, part of me wants to strangle him, but another part of me pities him
  20. >After all, apparently his parents set him up for failure by giving him that name in the first place
  21. >Norman, as in old deutsche for northerner? Referring to Prussians and Scandinavians?
  22. >Ugly, stupid, barbaric, irredeemable Scandinavians...
  23. >That was like calling one's son Bennito!
  24. >However, some purple girl can't seem to stay away from him
  25. >According to Alvina, she claims to be a princess from some horse world
  26. >Typical slavic, starting the day with a bottle
  27.  
  28. >Friday night
  29. >Somehow, Vinny "convinced" me to go with her to some club she works in during weekends
  30. >The way she "convinced" me reminded me of stories my grandfather used to tell me of his time in the Deutsche Demokratische Republik
  31. >"Remind me vhat I'm doing here." - I asked her coldly.
  32. >"Oh come on, don't be like that! Since apparently no shop can fix your computer and you don't have a cellphone or a tablet, I might as well show you my album by playing it live!"
  33. >Note to self: Reread grandfather's journal in order to come up with better lies
  34. >"Well, I've got to get to work now. Go on and have fun, I'll catch you later!"
  35. >Before I could answer back, she was gone
  36. >Perfect. There was a reason I brought my green wig
  37. >Putting it on, I made my way to the front door. No one would recognize me as long as I had it on
  38. >Few people coming in and out, I'd be able to slip out unnoticed
  39. >Almost at the door
  40. >"Hey, it's Octy!"
  41. >Octy...
  42. >No way...
  43. >There's no way that imbec-
  44. >"It's you, isn't it? Yes it is! Wow, didn't think you liked going to clubs!" - I heard as I felt my wrist being grabbed just before being turned around to face...
  45. >Brad
  46.  
  47. >How this Irish-descended neanderthal recognized me with my wig, I don't even know
  48. >"Hallo Brad. It was gut seeing you. If you'll excuze me, I've got to go." - I said, trying to turn around and just leave
  49. >"Wait! Come on, me and some friends managed to get a table!" - he replied as he pulled me towards said table
  50. >To be honest, I fully expected the table to be occupied by the testosterone-filled anglo-saxons and zulus of the football team
  51. >I'd never expected the neo-nazi guy and the slavic girl
  52. >Correction, just the new guy. The girl fit perfectly here
  53. >"So as I was saying, Ted passes the ball to me so I start running over to their..."
  54. >Brad just continued talking and talking...
  55. >The looks on both... er.... oh, right, Norman, and the purple slav, told their thoughts quite clearly
  56. >The purple girl looked genuinely interested in Brad's explanation of a sport as barbaric as the original English-invented game it was based on
  57. >Norman, on the other hand, looked ready to jump off a cliff
  58. >With nothing better to do, I decided to talk to him
  59. >"You do know people from many colorz and breedz go to clubz, right? So vhy are you here?" - I asked casually to someone so filled with hate
  60. >"... wait, are you calling me a racist?" - he asked, apparently insulted by my question. Typical
  61. >"No, I'm juzt vondering vhy you decided to come here."
  62. >"Well, I had to get my mind off school, and Brad invited Purple to come here, and she invited me, so I thought what the hell, might give it a chance."
  63. >He seriously calls the only person who talks to him Purple...
  64. >"By the way, what's with the wig? I know your hair ain't green." - It was a fair question, to be honest
  65. >"To hide. I play in high-clazz eventz. Have had my own concertz. I'm ze best cellist in the ze school, and is the reason I'm in zis country in ze first place. I can't be seen here."
  66. >"Ah..." - he answered emptily. "Well, don't worry. I won't tell anyone about you partying or anything."
  67. >"Danke, I suppose..."
  68.  
  69. >Be Vinny
  70. >It's time to start the show
  71. >"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" - I yelled into the microphone
  72. >"PARTY" - yelled back the club
  73. >"GOOD! BECAUSE DJ-HU3M4N IS IN DA HAUS!"
  74. >And here we go. With skillful movement of dials and buttons, I began doing my thing.
  75. >Lets see what Ms. Fancy thinks about this now
  76.  
  77. >Be Renate
  78. >OhdearGodwhatinthefuckisthatnoise!
  79. >The crowd is definitely going crazy, and what had been people dancing earlier has now turned into a riot
  80. >"AWRIGHT, COME ON TWILY! LETS DANCE!" - yelled Brad, pulling the purple slavic girl to the dance floor
  81. >However, she apparently didn't see it fit to leave her friend behind, and grabbed his hand, dragging him along
  82. >"Vell, you enjoy your night. I've got to gAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" - I couldn't help but yell as my arm got grabbed again, getting pulled into a human chain heading into the last place I ever wanted to be in
  83. >The Dance Floor
  84. >Minutes passed, feeling like hours, the sheer human ocean keeping me trapped there while being bombarded with what could only be described as a computer's sound card having a seizure
  85. >"COME ON OCTY, DANCE!" - yelled out Brad despite him being right next to me
  86. >Then again, with this noise, yelling was the only way to communicate
  87. >What happened next caught me by surprise, as Norman grabbed my hand
  88. >"COME ON, LETS DANCE!" - he said as he tried to lead a dance with me
  89. >Or rather, it looked like dancing. Then again, compared to the random spazzing of everyone there, a drugged monkey would look like an expert dancer
  90. >"OK, JUST DO AS I DO!" - he said, moving from side to side, making hand and arm gestures, and so on
  91. >I'm just glad he didn't ask me to flail my arms
  92.  
  93. >As much as I hate to admit it, and as horrific as the noise was, this was rather fun
  94. >This went on for a few more minutes before the "rythm" of the... -can't actually call it a song, but rather- noise slowed down
  95. >"Oh! Hold on, let me try something!"
  96. >"Try something? Vhat do you mea- WOAH, HEY!"
  97. >"Relax. I saw this in a movie." - he said as he began spinning while holding unto me
  98. >For a moment there, I thought he was trying to do some salsa, which kind of eased my mind
  99. >That turned into horror when the idiot let go
  100. >I would later learn that what he was trying to do was some sort of disco move, and the movie he was referring to was "Airplane"
  101. >When I regained my composture, I looked around to try and get my bearings
  102. >I found myself next to one of the gigantic speakers
  103. >At the slowest point of the song
  104. >OHSWEETMOTHEROFGO-
  105. >WUB-WUB-WUB WUBWUB WUBWUB-WUB-WUB-WUB WUBWUBWUBWUB WUB WUB-WUB-WUB
  106.  
  107. >Be Vinny
  108. >Music, lights, dancing, booze, party
  109. >Being a DJ, even if only part-time and during weekends, is the best damn job ever
  110. >Got to wonder though, where is Tavi?
  111. >Haven't seen her all night since I left her down there
  112. >Eh, must be having fun. Can't really blame her, what with my PHAT BEATS playing!
  113.  
  114. >Be Renate
  115. >Oh sweet mother of God, somebody please make it stop
  116. >Getting spun around for a few seconds, followed by being thrown, left me in an unbalanced, dizzy state
  117. >On itself, that wasn't as bad as it could have been
  118. >The 110 decibels suddenly being blasted out right next to me, however, did manage to knock me down on my face
  119. >"Holy crap, I'm so sorry! Are you alright?!" - he said as he made his way towards me through the crowd
  120. >Not that I could hear him, mind you, what with noise being blasted almost directly into my skull
  121. >"I'm so sorry about that! I could have sworn it was going to work!" - he apologized pathetically
  122. >A part of me told me to just slap him across the face and leave the place already
  123. >However, the lady within me, however, told me to accept his apology and give him another chance to make up for his mistakes
  124. >"Hey, are you two alright?" - came asking the purple girl. I need to make a note to actually learn her name
  125. >"Ja, ja, I'm fine. Don't vorry you two. Just a bit dizzy." - I answered. Truth be told, my head was killing me after that
  126. >However, there seemed to be someone missing - "Where's Brad?" - asked Norman
  127. >"Oh, he went to get some drinks. Said he wanted something called vodka, and that he'd get me some too. How nice of him!"
  128. >An irish and a slavic drinking together... there is something magical about that
  129. >Never change, purple girl. You make your forefathers proud. Perhaps some day you'll be a cosmonaut or a great engineer
  130.  
  131. >"Vell, I think I'll be leaving now. You two enjoy ze party." - I said, starting to walk away from there. It was about time I left
  132. >"Wait. I know that ended pretty badly, but let me make it up to you! Do you want a drink or something too?" - offered Norman
  133. >To be honest, a drink would be very welcome
  134. >Thus I decided to listen to my inner lady and give him another chance
  135. >I now realize ladies are utterly moronic
  136. >"Eh, fine. A drink would be good about now." - I replied, and so the three of us went to where Brad was getting the drinks
  137. >"Twily! Over here! I got an umbrella for yours!"
  138. >I immediately regretted it
  139. >"With Brad's ID, we're good to go. So, what do you want? A tequila, a martini, a... uh... a whiskey?" - said Norman, obviously straining to think of alocholic drinks
  140. >Well, atleast that told me he wasn't an alcoholic, so he had that going for him
  141. >"I'll just have a vhite russian." - I answered nonchalantly, to which he gave me a confused look, followed by nervously looking around
  142. >"Er... are you hitting on me?"
  143. >My left eyebrow couldn't have been raised more even if the people at the dance floor fully raised the roof
  144. >I don't know what that sudden bulge in his pockets was, but as soon as a noodle popped out, I decided I didn't want to know
  145.  
  146. >"... nein. It's a drink." - I coldly replied. He seemed to get the message, as he immediately left to get it
  147. >So far, this had been a terrible night, but atleast I had a moment to breathe now, even if it was muddled by the noise and both Brad and the purple girl practically yelling next to me just to talk
  148. >A while later, Norman returned with our drinks
  149. >"Sorry I took so long. Apparently there's only one bartender, and like fifty people there."
  150. >"No vorries. Atleast I could re-" - I wasn't able to finish that sentence before the purple girl jumped unto Norman, hanging from his neck
  151. >"'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Normy, ah've got an ibea. Whai don't ai show Octy sum majic?"
  152. >What. How could she be drunk already?! That was ONE glass! I can't help but, somehow, feel disappointed
  153. >"Er... I'm zorry, but I don't lean zat vay." - I answered back
  154. >"Purple, get off me!" - yelled Norman, trying to shake her off
  155. >And spilling my drink all over me
  156. >"GAAAAAAH! HURENSOHN!" - I yelled out as I jumped off my chair, inadvertedly drawing attention in our direction
  157. >"OHSHITI'MSOSORRYHERELETMEHELPYOU!" - exclaimed Norman, rapidly moving in my direction while still having the purple girl hanging from him
  158. >This was going to end badly
  159. >The table agreed, as it moved slightly between Norman and I as Brad got up, causing Norman to trip
  160. >Next thing I know, I'm on the floor with a drunk slavic girl on top of me, Norman having been able to hold on to a chair
  161. >"GET OFF ME!" - I yelled out in sheer frustration, anger having fully taken over
  162. >"But yu're so sooooooofvt." slurred out the purple girl as I tried to push her off
  163. >Brad and Norman then came over and pulled her off me
  164. >However, as they were about to pull me up, I noticed something
  165. >Something terrible
  166. >A part of my skirt had slipped under one of the table's legs during the fall, and was now jammed
  167. >"VAIT, STOP!"
  168. >*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP*
  169.  
  170. >Excluding the noise in the background, there was silence
  171. >As I got up by myself, lower undergarments fully exposed, there was complete silence
  172. >After all, what was there to say that my glare wasn't saying already?
  173. >"'ey Normy, dat looks laik da ones those worn in yer anatomy collection, hehehehe."
  174. >At that point, I should have exploded
  175. >Probably should have broken a bottle over Norman's head
  176. >However, my anger was such, it went full circle and ended up in calmness
  177. >In such a state, I could do nothing but just walk up to him
  178. >"Norman, I just vant to say, this has been the vorst night I've ever had in mein life."
  179. >"Yeah, I can understand that..." - he replied, great shame and terror present in his voice
  180. >"Now, I think you should leave and take your friend home. And never speak to me again." -I then tugged out my ripped skirt from under the table's leg and walked away
  181. >With a deep sigh, I headed to the bathroom to see what I could do to fix this, stopped when someone called for me again
  182. >"Hey Tavi! Wait up! I just finished with my shift andWOAH GIRL! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!" - asked Alvina, stopping within a meter of me
  183. >"I'd rather not talk about it." - I replied as I continued to the bathroom
  184. >"Damn! You like to party hard, dontcha?!" - she mocked before a thought occurred to me
  185. >"Vait, how'd you recognize me?!"
  186. >"What do you mean? I just saw you and ran towards you." - she answered as I frantically touched my head
  187. >"Oh no..." - I whispered, before it escalated into a continuous stream of "NEIN-NEIN-NEIN-"
  188. >I quickly rushed into the bathroom, looking at myself in the nearest mirror, confirming my worst fears
  189. >"ZAT DAMNED ITALIAN!"
  190. --------------------------
  191. >Be Norman
  192. >Octavia was right, I had to get Purple home before she got her drunk ass into trouble
  193. >Now if only she'd stop poking me
  194. >"What is it?" - I said, turning to look at her
  195. >"'ey Norman, gess who I am!" - she said, putting on a strangely-familiar green wig
  196. >Oh shit
  197.  
  198. And that's it for this story.
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