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- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >Suckerpunch
- "Nurse"
- 'Guard'
- >So just some aspirin, huh? You sure?
- "We tested for concussions, you two just seem to have very hard heads. The hangover probably didn't help things either, you know."
- >Yeah, I guess...y'know people are talking about that Partyland place a lot.
- "Mm?"
- >They say it's a nice place to just hang out and have a good time.
- "I'm sorry, I have a coltfriend."
- >What? No no, I'm thinking about taking 41 down there, have a kind of day out. Nice, fun, and headbutt free.
- "Oho~"
- >Whoa! Not like...like that, that's...
- "Moving too fast?"
- >Something like that...
- "Well, me and my Rolly Poley like the fast lane, if you don't mind my saying."
- >...Rolly Poley?
- "Oh he's just-"
- A pair of chartreuse hooves cover her eyes.
- "-speak of Tirek~"
- 'And here I am, baby~'
- The chartreuse colt and pale yellow mare bump noses in a sickly sweet fashion.
- >Uh...
- 'Oh hey ho my lil bro in arms, how you doing?'
- "Rolly, this is Suckerpunch. Suckerpunch this is-"
- 'High Roller, bro, High Roller.'
- >Oh right, the guy from Las Pegasus, the transfer.
- 'Nowww ya cookin' with crystals! Just got here and already met the love of my life, can't ya hardly believe it?'
- "Oh you..."
- >I-
- 'Hey Punchy my new best pal, mind running along? Me and my little slice of heaven here gotta talk about...stuff.
- "What kinda stuff?"
- 'Well as opposed to our bug fucker here, I got a plan of action for a certain bug fuck that's bugfuck crazy.'
- >Who are you-HEY! I am not...jeez...why's everyone say that?
- "Oh don't mind him, it's just that...ahhh...Las Pegasus charm."
- >Okay. Yeah. I'm just gonna go now...
- 'See ya on the rope-a-dope, Punchy.'
- Suckerpunch leaves, looking highly confused as to what just happened.
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- NON CANON
- >Chrysalis
- "Twilight"
- ~~~
- "Say, Chrysalis, can I ask you about that... Thing on your head?"
- >You mean my crown?
- "Oh, so that is a crown? It's not part of your body?"
- >Now that's just silly. But it is pretty sweet, huh, Sparklebutt? I mean, check this!
- Chrysalis takes off her crown
- >Badass...
- She puts her crown back on
- >REALLY badass! I saw this one some griffon bitch's head and spent a fourth of a century trying to pry the thing off her skull. Couldn't blame her though, I mean it's way more awesome than what Celly or Moonbut have.
- "Did you... kill them?"
- >Uh, no. Tried and it cost half my hive in the long run. finally we just stole it while she was in the shower and ran like hell. And so that's why Gwendolyn hates my guts.
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >Cadence
- "Gwen"
- 'Idris'
- [2]
- ~~~~~~
- >My my! This is a surprise. What an honor to see the very king himself make an appearance... along with, what I count to be... fifteen guards?
- "You have your weapons, I have mine."
- >...I'm sorry?
- 'Gwen, really. That's the terror you are so afraid of?'
- [HIIIII!]
- >Sweetie, what did I say?
- [Oh! Right, quiet.]
- >Sorry, she's learning the goings on of the kingdom. I said she could sit in on this trade negotiation, I didn't think that it would be that big of a deal.
- "It is."
- '...Are those marshmallows?'
- [Nuh-uh, marchmalleys!]
- '...Can I have one-'
- "DEAR NO! It's a trap!"
- 'But I didn't get to eat anything on the way here, and you know how expensive it is to import those things.'
- [S'okay Mr King Sir! I'll share!]
- "SHE WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!"
- '... My goodness, are these...?'
- [Yuh huh! Auntie Pinkie made'em! They're strawberry flavored!]
- '...I want a thousand.'
- "I SWEAR ON MY ANCESTORS, IDRIS!"
- 'Mother warned me you would be like this.'
- "Not in front of the demon!"
- >Would you mind not calling her a demon? She is a princess of this kingdom, after all.
- 'Wait, I thought you were the princess?'
- >I am.
- '...How does that work, then?'
- >It's not very complicated. Rulers or future rulers are princesses or princes. She's my adoptive daughter.
- 'WHAT!? Really!?'
- "Like fifty times I told you!"
- 'And like fifty times, I had more important matters.... you do realize those things can grow a hundred feet tall and stomp towns, right?'
- >That's actually just the one.
- 'Oh. That's good to hear.'
- "Can we PLEASE just get this over with! I do not feel safe right now!"
- 'Of course, I have other business anyway...'
- "STOP TAKING HER OFFERINGS!"
- 'DON'T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE! They are delicious!'
- >...Sigh....
- [I've got butterscotch flavored ones too...]
- '...'
- "And thus, the griffon kingdom went bankrupt."
- >...How is that spelled by the way-
- "'WE DON'T KNOW!"'
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >SA
- "Pinkie"
- 'Luna'
- [Sombra]
- ~~~~
- >...You know, I've noticed something.
- "Yes, I DO have an amazingly sunshiny and bouncy personality! Thank you for noticing!... Heh, 'sunshiny', because..."
- >...
- "...I'm just saying it would be a great name for a kid."
- >Who's kid?
- "...Nevermind."
- >Anyway... why aren't we floating?
- 'We beg thine pardon?'
- [Was that a shot at me? Rude.]
- >I mean that, doesn't the moon have less gravity?
- "...Huh."
- 'Magic.'
- "THAT'S YOUR ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING!'
- 'But tis true!'
- >Okay, then how come Sombra can still float?
- [...That is a good question.]
- 'Specific magic.'
- "You're making that up!"
- 'DO NOT QUESTION US! TIS OUR REALM'
- >Oh, we're pulling THAT card, are we? Because you question me in my Empire allll the time.
- '...That is different. Like Sombra's floating. Which is different to use floating due to lack of gravity.'
- >Uh huh.
- 'Fine! Your sister did it with her oh so special suits, are you happy now?'
- >...Kind of?
- "Why?"
- >Dunno, just something sweet about imagining Twilight being there to keep my hooves on the ground.
- "...Dawwwww!"
- ' *Snicker* '
- >What?
- 'Nothing! Nothing. Tis a beautiful thing, imagining your sister there to hold you steady.'
- "...Teehee."
- 'And I'm sure you're there for her when she needs to be held down too.'
- >Not as often as I'd like.
- 'Oh, well, by all means, hold her down more often, I'm sure she would looooove it. Nose to the grindstone and all that, and you've always got her back.'
- >Well, I do love having her back...
- [PFFt...]
- >...Am I missing something?
- '...'
- ["'PFFTHAHAHAAHH!"']
- >This is why I hang out with Changelings.
- ['"HAHAHAHAHAHA"']
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >42
- "18"
- ~~~~~
- >I worry about you sometimes.
- "As well you should, I'm on the brink of grabbing a crystal rocket launcher and just going crazy every other moment, I swear."
- >Ignoring that. I mean you seem to be a little testy when Shining Armor is not around.
- "So, clearly, I should go hang out with Shiny some more. Hm, I'm starting to see it from your point of view, 42. Very big of you to offer to share Shiny with me. But I'll have you know our Queen has informed me Shiny is 'big' enough for the both of us."
- >...HRK!... Yes, well, you know I did not mean it like that. I am implying you should get out more.
- "Ohhh, 42. Do a little thing with me real quick, fun activity. M'kay? Look at this spot right here on my desk. You looking?"
- >Yes?
- "Annnnd... close your eyes."
- >...
- "...Open."
- >I don't see-... what the? You just tossed more papers there!
- "Oh? Okay, hold my hoofs really quick. Aaannd... close!... Open!"
- >..WHAT THE FUCK!?
- "Welcome to my life."
- >How do you live like this!?
- "Content in the knowledge that without me, the paperwork would likely breed until it conquered us all. Vital service for Equestria, that's me."
- >...Huh.
- "Yeeep."
- >...Can we weaponize this?
- "...hmmm...."
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >Rekulk
- "Vekir"
- 'Grehm'
- The sun beat down on the three Morlocks as they made their way towards the great City of White. Rekulk in his 'custom' (read: Makeshift) encounter suit from Rarity, his two companions in the standard issue.
- >And now you see the wonders of the surface world!
- "Kssssh..."
- 'Hrrrssssh...'
- >Yes it is very pretty! Even in the daytime! It will be easier to see and breathe when the Twience Princess has made us better ones, yes?
- "Ksssh...yoursssss?"
- >Oh this was gift after the Sun Princess destroyed my original one. Do not worry, it was an accident, she protected me after. The ones of wings and horns are wise and beautiful, you shall see soon.
- 'Zhetri...Tuuuulh?'
- >He is helping the surface worlders. The mighty quakes? A creature, vast and fierce! Zhetri Tuuhl is far away, helping those who were hit harder, just as Zhetri Tuuhl would!
- "Kssssh...hurrah..."
- 'Gssssh...hurrah...'
- >Hurrah! Now, I think we are closer yes...yeeees...yes! Behold!
- The three crest a hill and behold Canterlot, in all its glory.
- >The City of White!
- "Ksssh...ooooh..."
- 'Gssssh...aaaah...'
- >Come come! Soon we shall meet the ponies! Great and clever tradefriends all! We shall dine with Royalty and walk amongst the family of Zhetri Tuuhl-show respect, they deserve it.
- Vekir gives as much of an excited hop as she can in her restricting suit, Grehm nods slowly. As one the trio set off to enter the great city of white, their cart trailing behind.
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >29
- "MM"
- '32'
- [Q]
- ~~~~~
- >As promised, my lovely employer! Thine gray haired matron of the town I have reluctantly come to live within!
- "Nice to meet you."
- '...Oh, okay, I am hallucinating.'
- "I'm... sorry?"
- >He gets not much company down within these halls, so his mind is a bit... addled, shall we say? To wit, it's the reason I brought you. I wish my entombed kin to speak to more than myself or piles of stone.
- 'My wit is as sharp as ever! No matter what that traitorous Thorax says upon my person! Back me up, Q!'
- [...]
- 'See?'
- "Huh. Why is sexy-talk less sexy when you do it?"
- '...I'm sorry? 'Sexy-talk'? What is sexy-talk?'
- >She is a lover of our more cultured manner of speech, finding joy in the way we weave our words and minds.
- "What he said. By the way, thank you for the show back at the Gala."
- 'Oh? You saw that?'
- "Oh yeah, and it was quite shocking. Hilarious to watch her fumble about, but shocking."
- 'Yes, well, my attempt on her life is the reason I am locked away, sad to say.'
- "Meh, never really talked to her, but she seemed like a jerk. You probably had a good reason."
- '...Marry her.'
- >Sorry?
- 'Seriously, marry that mare right there and you knock her up with the most cultured, intelligent children this land has ever seen.'
- >Brother behind bars! You know mine sights be set!
- 'Still on about that? Truly?'
- >Still!? I have never ceased!
- "It's true. Except for that one time."
- 'One time?'
- >...A-hem...
- 'Ooooohhh... do tell.'
- >I'd rather not.
- 'I get no such tales of that nature down here, I assure you, you would be most welcome.'
- "I can tell him."
- >Don't tell him! I do not want my techniques getting out! The Sword of Fantasy is a blade which only I shall know the full prowess of, thank you!
- 'Well, certainly with your aspirations and attitude will you be the only 'wielder'.'
- >I bring thee company, books and fuel to continue the day, and I am thanked with mockery?! GOOD DAY SIR! HRMPH!
- *PRISSSTOMPPRISSSTOMPPRISSSTOMP!*
- "Oh dear, I didn't mean to-"
- 'No worries, he does that all the time, he'll be back in about five minutes. Whether it be for his own sating of need for another intellectual or if he feels unto me some form of pity, I do not know. But he always returns.'
- "Oh. That's nice of him."
- 'So, how is this Zebra companion of yours?'
- "Zecora? Oh, she is just the best! She would have come now, but we had a child who wanted to see if she could balance upside down on one hoof for six hours. She said 'I will not be bested, consider this challenge accepted', and up she went!"
- 'Amazing.'
- "She really is."
- *PRISSSTOMPPRISSSTOMPPRISSSTOMP!*
- >That was your cue to stomp out with me!
- "He's nice, I wanted to talk some more!"
- 'Better watch out, I am clearly moving in on thine territory.'
- >She is not my territory!... But I would have issue with you hitting on her, yes. It's not her, it's you, you have negative traits I do not like. Homicidal ones.
- "Daw, thanks for looking out for me."
- 'Sigh...'
- [...]
- 'WHAT!? NO! NO THEY DO NOT ALLOW CONJUGAL VISITS!....Do they?'
- >...
- "...Time to go?"
- >Yep. Enjoy the books, 32! I've slipped ones to hopefully keep those desires of yours in check.
- 'My my, I am apprecitativ- NO, REGGIE! YOU GET THE PAGES STICKY!'
- >Yep. Time to go.
- "Right behind you."
- 'LOOK WHAT YOU DID!...No manners around company, I swear...'
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >Random pony
- ~~~~~~
- >...Okay, so... there are a small group of individuals wearing gas masks and suits wandering the streets while carting something big that smells funny.... I feel like I should call someone, but I'm not sure who... uhhh... HELP! SUPERMARE!
- ...
- >...Knew she wasn't real.
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- NC addition
- >56
- “Gwen”
- ‘Idris’
- ~~~~~~
- A happy-go-lucky Changeling down the shimmering halls of the crystal empire, humming a delightful tune even as steam rose off his semi-charred body.
- >Golly, I sure do hope someone fixes that portal soon ‘cause it was fun the first fifty times my ears and mane caught fire but now it’s jus’ gettin’ o- CATBUTT!
- Walking with her mate, it was almost instinctual that Gwen knew that she was being called and her head turned, a heavy scowl present on her beak.
- “Who dares address me by such- 56!”
- *WHUMP!*
- Caught betwixt speaking his views about the trade meeting and trying to find their way back from the bathroom, Idris only stared as what looked like a black blur shot across the hall and directly into his mates rear, causing her cheeks to wobble and tail to lift.
- ‘…’
- On second glance, Idris saw that it was a Changeling buried face-deep in Gwen’s rump, one who, instead of struggling to get out, seemed to only be reveling in her furry cheeks.
- >Caaaaaatbuuuuutt~! I was gettin’ so bored over there with not-mom, and then Moons up and went somewheres with that cloud of dark matter so I decided t’ come here and look what I find! Sweet, sweet supple Catbutt! How are ya?
- ‘…’
- “Um… uhhhh, I can explain….”
- ‘No need. Well done, dear.’
- It was rare that Gwen was ever left flummoxed, and by so little words, but in this moment she couldn’t help but cock a brow to her husband.
- “Well… done? Well done for what?”
- Idris had redirected his attention back to the map given to them at the front gate.
- ‘This archaic system of lines on the floor will be the death of me, I swear… And it’s quite obvious that you’ve managed to get this little monster here on our side as an insurgent for the griffons. I’m stunned, honestly. Didn’t think you had it in you to dabble with Changelings, even to better our cause.’
- “…”
- >Nnnnnnnm~.
- “Why yes! Yes, of course! Ahahaha, yeah, uh… it’s exactly that, what you said, mhm, because hey, I can’t stand Changelings, they disgust me so!”
- >Mmmmwhat was that, Catbutt?
- Gwen’s tail fell over the back of 56’s head keeping him firmly planted.
- “Hush up and snuggle, my little, er… slave… number 56. My slave who is number 56 in a long line of Changelings I’ve, uh, converted? Yeah, because that’s what I’m doing.”
- ‘Very impressive indeed. It seems he submits to your behind, dear. Do they all?’
- “Um, yeah? I mean, of course! It’s… you see, there’s a little receptor in their brains that makes them obey gryphon rump. Fact.”
- Idris barely looked up from the map, now holding it upside down.
- ‘Uh-huh… so will mine hypnotize Changelings as well?’
- “NO! I m-mean, no, not yours, only mine.”
- ‘Why?’
- “Queenly… pheromones?”
- >Mwaaaaah~!
- “SQUAWK!”
- ‘By the sixth claw of Steelbeak, what was that dreadful screech for?’
- >Tastes like yum!
- “…”
- ‘Well, keep up the good work, Gwen. I knew one day you’d be able to turn your boiling fury into a means of success for griffons everywhere. Carry on, dear, while I’ll try and decipher this thrice blasted map.’
- Gwen couldn’t believe that that blatant lie had worked and only watched with some amusement as her mate continued down the hall without her.
- She had gained a few notches of respect within the King of Gryphons and had her favorite Changeling nose-deep in her rear. Yeah, life was good at the moment.
- >Sooooo furry… and it feels like it’s gotten bigger!
- “I’m such an evil queen….”
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- Nonnus-Cannus.
- >Chrysalis
- “Cadance"
- ~~~~~
- Looking back on it, it was a pretty smart plan. After all, why would anyone find the Princess of the Empire up at the dead of night a strange occurrence? She was a princess, probably going about her princessy things. Whatever those were.
- But as it stood, the light to the castle’s head office blared bright against the blinds like a beacon.
- Within was a cotton-candy pink princess, and not some representative clone of another spices, but the real deal, Cadance.
- In her hooves was a seating arrangement for some charity auction she was set to attend the next day. Usually, 18 handled those. She would sign, make the necessary calls, get things set up and running smoothly… and all Cadance would have to do was show up and do her ‘love’ thing.
- “Hmph, I’ll show them. This stuff’s not so hard. Nope, not one bit… because all I have to do is… uh… okay, first things first, attendance sheet… where'd that go? Section aqua, right? Attendance sheet, attendance sheet, atten- wait, there’s multiple sheets to this? Whoa, just how many ponies are… over six royal blues? And I have to call all of them?!”
- The term ‘good effort’ was made for these exact situations, because that’s exactly what Cadance felt she’d put forward as she chuckled with a touch of hysteria and set the thick stack back down on the desk for 18 come tomorrow.
- “Yeah, diamonds to that… baby steps, Caddy, start small….”
- >Speaking of baby steps….
- “Ahhhh, so that’s what I was feeling! Chrysalis, how long have you been there? Hiding in the shadows… watching me make a fool of myself….”
- >Nonsense. It was a solid effort, a genuine attempt to actually take a hoof in the documentation side of a princess’s duty. Commendable.
- “…Who the hell are you?”
- >Pardon?
- “You’re not Chrysalis… You have her voice, and her body and eyes… but something’s off, something’s very wrong here. I can feel your love and it’s not… it’s usually close-guarded, almost afraid, but right now it’s.…”
- >What is it?
- “It’s warm, nurturing….”
- >Ah.
- “Who. Are. You?”
- >Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings.
- “And for some odd reason, this is the first time I’m believing you when you say it.”
- >As well you should, because I am.
- “…”
- >Yes?
- “There’s a twinge of Diamond Dust coffee on your breath. Weren’t you banned from coffee…?”
- >Comically, yes. Literally, no, but I sought a conversation with you about a highly illuminating talk you had with my ‘other’ earlier.
- “Your other…?”
- >Yes, the Queen who rubs her behind over your husbands papers, who slams headlong into doors outfitted with steal frames, who secretly cherishes her time here despite all the showboating, that ‘other’.
- “I-I don’t understand….”
- >I suspect you might not, not now, but your intelligence is higher than what most give you credit for. You’ll be caught up soon enough but for right now, let us talk, Cadance. Let us talk about this… trust.
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >Applejack
- "Celestia"
- ~~~~
- >Tia? Got a question.
- "BUBBLEHORSE COME BACK! I NEED ANTI-APPLEBUBBLES!"
- >Ain't gonna work.
- "I CAN DREAM!"
- >Just wanted ta' know, can ya'll dreamwalk too?
- "What?"
- >Dreamwalkin', that thing Luna does. Can ya' do it too?
- "Nope, traded my ability to do that for the white coat. They said either I could dreamwalk but my coat would be dark like Luna's, or I could be white but no dreamwalking. I think I made the right choice, I look terrible with her color scheme."
- >...Seriously?
- "Of course not, I just never figured it out and Luna won't tell me."
- >Ah.
- "Not that I want to do it anyway, you know how many wet dreams Luna walks into every night?"
- >Don't wanna know.
- "So many, so, soooo many. From every one. Your brothers are apparently REALLY freak-"
- >NOPENOPENOPE!
- *SLAM!*
- "...Huh. Can't believe that worked. Guess those rumors weren't true at all... Luna owes me fifteen bits."
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- Another day, another gigantic stack of paperwork to slog through.
- Look at it.
- No, seriously, look at it. It's reaching my faustdamned ceiling. I have a tiny 'done' pile on the other side, which for any normal office would constitute an entire month of work. And yet, it's just a drop in the bucket to me.
- Does anyone else even work here? I really need to inquire about that.
- Sigh. Come here, little paper, you look like you need done. Come to me so I may use your papery goodness for... well, good I guess. The good of the Crystal Empire... most magical place on the planet.
- Am I going to run out of room behind me? I need to get a fridge in here or something.
- ...Damn, she's cute though. Perfectly manages to capture my feelings when I tossed that paperwork everywhere. Also, I do not thing 42 ever fought a dragon... or did she? Inquire later.
- ...damn, that smile. He doesn't even know what he does with that smile. I see that smile when I dream... mmm... those are nice dreams.
- Not that they would ever happen outside of a dream, because Celestia-forbid he get any freaking action from anybody ever even though I'm more Cadence than Cadence is at this point and-
- DAAWWWW! She gave Twilight little beakers, I JUST noticed that! That is adorable!... what was I thinking about, again?
- Meh, unimportant. Come, little piece of paper! Come and join your fallen comrades in the 'done' pile! For the Empire!
- ...For home...
- The greatest place in the world.
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >Pennydrop
- "Fizzle"
- 'Flash'
- ~~~
- "C'mon! C'mon!"
- 'Oh ho! Not this time, honey!'
- "I'm a fucking dude- AH!!!"
- HYPER-COMBO FINISH! KO!
- 'Hah! You might be a dude, but you sure take hits like a girl!'
- "Whatever, this game is fucking gay!"
- Fizzle kicks his controller away
- 'Pfft! Projecting much?'
- Fizzle's claws become molten and fiery while Flash flips over the couch and draws his gun
- "YOU SON OF A-!"
- >Ahem! Need I remind you both that you are both in possession of company property?
- 'Hey, you people only did a third of this crap!'
- >That's still a lot more that belongs to us than belongs to you, Mr. Sentry.
- "So, what brings you down here? More infusion, or alicorn in a bottle, or whatever you're calling it?"
- >Actually, we're cutting off your electricity. When we gave you this penthouse, I didn't think you would turn it into the Los Haygus strip.
- 'C'mon! it's not that bad!'
- >Explain then, why you have a motorized, neon, beer mascot in the living room?
- '... Okay, it is that bad.'
- "Hey, do whatever you want to his crap, but don't touch my TV, I NEED to know what happens next on Why Won't it End? They left off at a cliffhanger!"
- 'Hah! Fag!'
- "GO CHOKE ON A DICK, FLASH!"
- 'Isn't that what you wanna do?'
- >Argh! ENOUGH! The electricity will remain out until you get rid of all this worthless junk, and if you want to watch television, Mr. Fizzle, you can watch it in the employee lounge.
- Pennydrop leaves
- '... you're still gay.- OH! NOT THE BEES! OH, MERCIFUL CELESTIA, WHY?!'
- "You know? I like working for Fawntine."
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >32
- "Reggie"
- 'Q'
- -High Roller-
- >And so I say to him 'But 44, wouldn't this plan not work if the gryphon's husband shows up?' 'Nah naaah' he says 'I shoved him off a cliff, he's fucked'.
- "*chitter*?"
- >Yes, Reggie, gryphons CAN fly. And fly he did! Raved to his clansmen that an evil black beast had stolen away his lady love, captured the little bastard and were going to turn him over after the wedding.
- '*tink*?'
- >You bet we did. It was 88's plan, really. I dunno what was up with her and that stupid prick, other than the risk to our species but...she just never let him stay a fuck up. None of those idiot drones we were saddled with.
- "*chitter*"
- >77-he...he was a warrior, one or two of them were...50, of course, 68 for all the good that did him. Exploded into spiders, what a garbage way to go...anyway, where was I?
- "*chitter*"
- >Oh right! So yeah, 44's in the back of the clan hall, tied up, they're marrying the groom and bride. That weird old-style wedding, the 'I claim you' 'I am yours to be claimed' 'Father of my fledglings' 'Layer of my eggs' prose more purple than Princess Sparkle's rear. *I* thought it sounded ridiculous and I practically speak in iambs.
- '*tink*'
- >Yeah yeah yeah, so, middle of it, we barge in disguised as members of the bride's clan, massacre most everyone there, and leave their clan sign on the walls.
- "*chitter*?"
- >It was that typical lovers elope thing, but here is the genius of it. We killed the bride, and left the emblem of a third clan in the claws of one of their warriors. Baboom, obvious guilty third party. We destabilized that region for Love knows how long, just to save that stupid bastard. That was 88 to the core, she didn't care how big of an idiot asshole you were, you were her idiot asshole and only she was allowed to kill your dumb ass.
- "*chitter*"
- >That obvious, huh? Yeah...yeah, she was my older sister...all of ours but...but we were more. From the same brood, me...her...that shitbag 50. We were old, older than the others. I...I sometimes question how we came from the Queen...I don't remember any other so I mean...we had to come from-
- -Heeeeey, there you are! How's my favorite insect?-
- >Who are-wait, I know that voice! YOU! THE DEVIANT!
- -Now is that any way to talk to your new best friend?-
- >Go. Fuck. A. Pinecone.
- -Man, such hurtful words from such a hurt filled man. Breaks my heart, right into pieces. And here I stand with a bargain to ease your aching soul.-
- >Excuse me? What kind of bargain could you possibly-
- -I wanna screw my marefriend down here, okay? It's quiet, out of the way, and just that right kinda taboo.-
- >...are you insa-
- -Ah ah ah, no no, me speaky, you listen. In fact that's the deal, you say nothing, and later, I'll say nothing.-
- >What?
- -In exchange for you not being a weirdo when I'm doing my business, I will sit here as long as you like and listen to whatever you got on your mind.-
- >What makes you think I would care about you-
- -Your file, my man, I snuck myself a little peek at it. I know your type, revolutionary like you's gotta be tired of people who just wanna change him, or gather data, or give hugs. You let me get along and I'll ghost write your fucking manifesto.-
- >...you're patronizing me.
- -If anybody in this castle's in need of a patron, it's you.-
- >...
- -Come on, you wanna rant to roaches or you want to know your ravings will be in someone's head when you die?-
- >...two conditions. I get ear plugs and reading material.
- -Buh boom! You got a deal, my best buggy buddy, I'll make sure you get some, alright? Alright.-
- >The hell is your name anyway?
- -High Roller, my friend, High Roller.-
- The strange chartreuse stallion walks away, a spring in his step.
- >...what a strange guy. And I speak to roaches, I know strange.
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >SA
- “Sombra”
- 'Pinkie Pie'
- +Luna+
- ~~~~~
- >...
- “...”
- '…'
- +...I had forgotten about these.+
- >There are stallions... all over the walls.
- “...in suggestive poses.”
- 'That one isn't!'
- >Pinkie, cover your eyes.
- 'You're not my dad!'
- >I'll tell him when we get back.
- '…fine.'
- “All these paintings... I've seen this art style before.”
- >This disturbs me greatly...
- “... You painted all of these, didn't you.”
- +Yeah...I was going to use them for a prank... Cover the entire Everfree Castle with them to drive my sister up the wall. I... never got around to it through.+
- >“...”
- 'You're really good at painting naughty stuff!'
- >Pinkie! Eyes!
- 'Oh fine!'
- +I think we should keep going up, I see no reason to linger in this room.+
- >Agreed.
- “Yes...”
- '…'
- >PINKIE PIE PUT THAT PAINTING BACK ON THE WALL!
- 'Aww...'
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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