desert planet merm

"This entire planet is a desert planet," said Fenton.

"Yes," said the man, who was lying in mildly damp sand.

"There's not a *drop* of water on its surface," said Fenton.

"Well, that's not enti--," started the man.

"You know what I mean," said Fenton. He noticed the man's dry face, and handed his water bottle to him.

"Yes."

"So what in Troy's name are you doing here."

It's at this point in the story that it is important to address the man's fish tail.

"Tourism, would you believe it?" said the merman, doing his best attempt at a smile. Fenton narrowed his eyes and frowned. "No, then."

"Really, who the hell are you?"

"Neidon. I'm... a guest of the United Oceans Space Program."

"Guest. Right. That's why you've got broken handcuffs on your wrists."

"Actually that's just a style thing but to be perfectly honest I'm a prisoner. Well, was."

"And this was how they exiled you? By *landing on Achaea* and *jettisoning you?*"

"No, their ship crashed."

"WHAT!?"

"Yeah. I took the emergency dryland rover from the wreckage and drove it as far as I could. It broke down, and I got out. That Oasis over there looks way further than it ought to be." Fenton facepalmed.

"That's a mirage," Fenton said, "an illusion. You've been chasing an illusion for hours without water! You should be dead!"

"Misconception my friend. I should have entered hibernation. But I drank too much caffeine for that."

"Were there any other survivors from the crash?"

"Yeah, sure. Why not? All desperately clinging to the puddle left behind by the S.S. Laith."

"Well we've got to rescue them!"

"Suit yourself, I'm going for that mirage, oasis, whatever. Thanks for the water, by the way," said Neidon, trying to crawl away. Fenton put his boot on Neidon's back.

"Oh-ho-ho, no you don't. You, are going to help me find the wreckage of the Laith and *save that crew*."

"Whoo, someone has a mermaid fetish."

"Bah!"

"Hey as far as I'm concerned that's perfectly natural," Neidon said, holding up his hands innocently.

"Shut your face hole."

Fenton lifted up Neidon over his shoulder. Neidon wasn't strong enough to protest. Fenton pressed a button on his earpiece. "Hey George, draw a bath in the rover. Yeah. Yes you can. No, not literally a bath. Just like--. OK GEORGE. Just fill a bucket with water, that's all I'm asking. Yes I have a good reason."

They reached the rover, and perplexed the rest of the crew well enough.

"A bucket? That's all I get?" Said Neidon.

"A bucket," said Fenton.

"A merman?" asked George.

"Yes, long story."