Dont Worry, He Wont Get Far on Foot (2018)

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INDOXXI
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1
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Corky, why don't you tell us your story.

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Well, as you know, my story is not

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a "really tragic" story, unless...

4
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boredom is tragic.

5
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I, um...

6
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you know, I was married.
I had every comfort you could ask for.

7
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I thought that's what was gonna
make my life meaningful.

8
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I just stopped wanting
to go to parties, and...

9
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play tennis...

10
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with my girlfriends.

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For the record, I'd like to say

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that I think I'd rather iron sheets
than play tennis any day.

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[IN GERMAN ACCENT] When I was,
uh, about 11 years old,

14
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I lived with my grandmother
near the Black Forest, and...

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In a little house, second floor,

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and I had a cat.

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Her name was Fifi.

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Well, I did get
an Oregon Cultural Heritage Award.

19
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[HANS] Ah, these awards are not important.

20
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- Please.
- [DONNIE CHUCKLES] Okay.

21
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I got a prescription for Valium,
which at least made the days go...

22
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by quicker.

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[LAUGHS] Yeah, okay, there's this rock

24
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that was about this big
that had these grooves in it,

25
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like, uh, you know, little bumps, and I said,

26
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"Well, Aunt Janey, what is this?"

27
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And she said, "What?
You don't know what that is?"

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And I was like, "No."

29
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And she's like, "Well, that's my titty rock."

30
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And I was like, "Your titty rock?"
She was like, "Yeah, my titty rock."

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[MIKE CHUCKLES]

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"That's for when you get
in fights with girls.

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You punch 'em in the tit with it."
Not joking, not kidding.

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Then one day, I just, like,

35
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took off all my clothes
and walked down the street.

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And...

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the mailman...

38
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found me and...

39
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he brought me home
and called my husband, like I was a child.

40
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And I, you know,
I'm still wearing my wedding ring, but...

41
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I'm...

42
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divorced now, and I'm... I'm much happier.

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Maybe life's actually not supposed to be...

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as meaningful as we think it is.

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- Thanks, Corky.
- [MIKE] Thanks, Corky.

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[REBA] Mm.

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[ANNOUNCER] Ladies and gentlemen,

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please welcome to the stage
Portland's celebrity cartoonist

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John Callahan!

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[CROWD CHEERING]

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Hi. My name is John, and I'm an alcoholic.

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[ALL] Hi, John.

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Hi. It's good to be here.

54
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The last day that I walked,

55
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I... I woke up without a hangover.

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[APPLAUSE]

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The last day I walked,
I woke up without a hangover.

58
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I was still loaded
from drinking the night before.

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[QUIET LAUGHTER]

60
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[SIGHS]

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[BIRDS CHIRPING]

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[WATER RUNNING]

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I knew I had an hour or so
of grace before the...

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nervousness...

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[SIGHS]

66
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of withdrawal symptoms set in.

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What if I lost control, flipped out?

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[GROANS]

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Fuck.

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The closest store where I could buy booze

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was near a major intersection.

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[HORNS HONKING]

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- [JOHN] How are you?
- Staying cool?

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- It's hot out there, isn't it?
- Yeah.

75
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- Good beach weather.
- Yeah. Whew.

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[JOHN] I tried to talk to the...

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owner of the store and act real casual.

78
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I work for Alvarado house painter.

79
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- Oh.
- We got tons of work.

80
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Oh, you know,
like I had everything under control.

81
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But... [LAUGHS]

82
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they'd have to be blind
not to see my hand shaking.

83
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Um...

84
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Yeah, I guess I'll just
take that, uh, Tres Abuelos.

85
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Yeah, tequila.

86
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Hey, how's it going?

87
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Wow, pretty groovy day, huh?

88
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Oh, yeah. [SNIFFLES]

89
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- Surf's coming up.
- Yeah.

90
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Sky gets any bluer,
it'll be singing a Muddy Waters tune.

91
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Sorry? [SNIFFLES]

92
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I'm a songwriter.

93
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I listen to a lot of different music.

94
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- Um...
- Want a drink?

95
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I'm... I'm good.

96
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Um, I'll see you around
sometime, okay? [SNIFFLES]

97
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,086
Oh. All right.

98
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[JOHN] You've got a problem, Callahan.

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[SHIP HORN BLOWS]

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I know three things about my real mother:

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she was Irish-American, she had red hair,

102
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she was a school teacher.

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Oh, yeah.

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And she didn't want me.

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Okay.

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- Four things.
- [LAUGHTER]

107
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The way with
illegitimate Catholic babies in those days

108
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was to remove them
from the mother of birth...

109
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...and put them in the care
of the nuns for six months

110
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in case the natural mother
should change her mind.

111
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Was my mother a queen?

112
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Was she a whore?

113
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Could I locate her and surprise her,
say, at a bank teller's window?

114
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"Yeah, I'd like to cash this check, Mom."

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[LAUGHTER]

116
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[GRUNTS, GASPS]

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Oh, fuck. Help!

118
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- [JOHN] Oh, hey.
- Dude, you wiped out.

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- Nice.
- [JOHN] Can you help me up?

120
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- [BOY 1] Yeah, all right.
- [JOHN] Easy, though.

121
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- [BOY 2] Okay.
- [JOHN] All right, now, nice and easy.

122
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Don't try and show off.

123
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- [GRUNTS] Yeah! Oh!
- [BOY 1] Here, come around, turn around.

124
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- Here we go.
- [BOY 2] All right.

125
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- [JOHN] Okay.
- [BOY 1] Watch it.

126
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- [JOHN] Careful, careful.
- [BOY 1] There we go. There we go.

127
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- Yeah, lift him up.
- [OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

128
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,612
- You guys smell that?
- [BOY 3] Oh, what's that smell?

129
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- Oh, that reeks, man.
- [JOHN] Oh.

130
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Yeah, pull up that right leg right there.

131
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- Right here?
- [JOHN] Yeah.

132
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- [BOY 2] You got it, dude.
- [JOHN] Yeah.

133
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Yeah, you lift up that right pant leg there.

134
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- [BOYS GROAN]
- Be brave.

135
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Yeah, just attach that into the white thing.

136
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- All right.
- [BOY GROANS]

137
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- [JOHN] Thank you.
- You draw this?

138
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- [JOHN] Yeah.
- [BOY 1] Whoa.

139
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- [JOHN] You get it?
- [BOY 2] Awesome. Yeah.

140
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[BOY 3] Yeah.

141
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[WIND WHISTLING SOFTLY]

142
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[JOHN] Don't worry, boys.

143
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He won't get far on foot.

144
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[BOY 1] It's a wheelchair.

145
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:51,436
[BOY 2] He can't get far
because he's injured, right?

146
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,062
- That's right. Yeah.
- [BOY 2] Okay, all right!

147
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- [LAUGHTER]
- Yeah, well, you know,

148
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my grandmom's in a wheelchair, so...

149
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- [JOHN] Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

150
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,693
- [JOHN] Sorry about that.
- Yeah.

151
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,365
I draw these for a living, but, you know,

152
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,283
people get mad at me
'cause of the subject matter.

153
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- Not us.
- That's ridiculous.

154
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,658
- These are awesome.
- [JOHN] All right. Cool.

155
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,410
- Is that a car crash?
- [JOHN] Yeah.

156
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,786
- What is that?
- There's, like, a dead guy

157
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,368
- under the car.
- Are those all booze and stuff?

158
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:11,417
[BOY 1] Whoa.

159
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,996
[JOHN] There's a five-dollar bill
in my left shirt pocket.

160
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,422
Go get me a short case.

161
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:19,088
[ENGINE HISSING, CLICKING]

162
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,015
[MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY OUTSIDE]

163
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,188
[MOUSE SQUEAKING QUIETLY]

164
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:37,061
[MAN] Oh, they could do it
and they'll do it over there!

165
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:39,112
[MAN CONTINUES SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

166
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:45,945
Hey, Snickers.

167
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:47,453
How was your day?

168
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,157
Did you find any time
to get in some exercise?

169
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,002
[DOOR OPENS]

170
00:11:58,009 --> 00:12:00,422
[JOHN] You fucking asshole!

171
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,721
You're fucking late!
I've been sitting here all goddamn day!

172
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,468
It's been fucking wet!

173
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,392
I got shit all over my pants
and there's no fucking drinks!

174
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:10,435
You didn't leave me a goddamn fucking drink!

175
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:11,807
It's been three fucking hours!

176
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,890
What do you actually fucking do?

177
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,817
[TIM] I signed up to be your attendant,
not your slave.

178
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Bossing me around, you fucking
don't even give me five seconds

179
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,402
before you're telling me what to do.

180
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:25,030
I told you I fucking hate it
when you give me orders.

181
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,951
I'm gonna get to it
when I feel like it, John.

182
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,740
All right? How would you like it
if I started pushing you around all day?

183
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,621
[TIM SIGHS]

184
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,003
I'll give you a bath in a minute.

185
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,793
I need to wind down. Here you go.

186
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,083
Celebrate your independence.

187
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:56,098
[REPORTER OVER TV]
President Carter's standing

188
00:12:56,192 --> 00:13:00,027
in our NBC News Associated Press poll
has declined again.

189
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:03,072
Not much, but the decline has been steady.

190
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,774
This is one of the findings
in our latest telephone sample

191
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:09,532
of the opinions of about 1,600 people
around the country last week.

192
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,705
[MECHANICAL THUMPING, CLICKING]

193
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,876
[WATER SPLASHING]

194
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,828
[TIM SIGHS]

195
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,219
[JOHN] I drink, I hit rock bottom.

196
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:34,474
And I'd drink more and hit rock bottom again.

197
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,937
I had to admit to myself
that I was powerless over alcohol.

198
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,484
I was searching for something else.

199
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,192
[TIM] You sure you want to go
to an AA meeting, John?

200
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,906
I've never really believed
in their whole thing.

201
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,739
[LIVELY CHATTER]

202
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,290
[LAUGHTER]

203
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,044
Oh, I'm sorry,

204
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:10,385
but, uh, we can't have anybody
quite this grotesque in here.

205
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,472
For the love of God, I'm Reba.

206
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,724
[SOFTLY] Oh, hi. I'm John.

207
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,851
[CHUCKLES] Welcome to the Alano Club.

208
00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,442
[JOHN] I thought you were serious.

209
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,565
No dogs, no quads.

210
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,317
[CHUCKLES] No. Come on, now.

211
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,372
[CHATTER QUIETS]

212
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,949
God, grant me the serenity...

213
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,753
[ALL]...serenity to accept the things
I cannot change,

214
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:43,501
the courage to change the things I can,

215
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,924
and the wisdom to know the difference.

216
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,798
[DONNIE] Anyone under 90 days?

217
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,350
Hi, I'm Felix, and I'm an alcoholic.

218
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,392
[ALL] Hi, Felix.

219
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,471
- Hi, guys. Uh...
- [MAN] Welcome.

220
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,430
This is day 14.

221
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:01,436
- [APPLAUSE]
- Good job.

222
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:09,823
Uh, hi. I'm Joseph. I'm an alcoholic.

223
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,571
[ALL] Hi, Joseph.

224
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,826
Today, I have 56 days.

225
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,246
- [APPLAUSE]
- [MAN] Awesome.

226
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,826
It's tough, 'cause, you know, out there,

227
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:24,663
I feel like people want to hear
how many years you've been sober.

228
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,044
But, uh, you know, coming here,

229
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:30,549
I'm reminded how special it is
that I'm where I'm at, so...

230
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,464
I remember a time when I didn't
think 30 days was possible,

231
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:36,801
but here I am, so... thank you.

232
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,806
[APPLAUSE]

233
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,391
Anyone else want to speak?

234
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,436
My name's John Callahan,
and I don't know who my real mother is,

235
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,237
and I was paralyzed in a car accident.

236
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,197
And...

237
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,074
and I'm an alcoholic.

238
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,656
[ALL] Hi, John.

239
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,951
Good to know you, John Callahan,

240
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,376
who is an alcoholic.

241
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,079
You're in the right place, I think.

242
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,545
I'm Donnie, and I'm an alcoholic.

243
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,171
[ALL] Hi, Donnie.

244
00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:13,174
Hi. [CHUCKLES]

245
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:16,098
And when I first entered the program,

246
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:19,518
I had two pairs of pants,

247
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,221
one with shit in them and one without.

248
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,897
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]

249
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,602
And I didn't care which one
of them I was wearing.

250
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,607
[MORE LAUGHTER]

251
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,236
Today, I celebrate mediocrity.

252
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:38,329
I woke up and I put on
a non-shitty pair of pants.

253
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:41,748
- [CHUCKLING]
- And I walked to get a cup of coffee,

254
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,076
and it was fucking delicious.

255
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:47,709
And my day's been pretty good,

256
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:50,336
until I came in here and saw all of you.

257
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:52,668
[LAUGHTER]

258
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,344
[DONNIE] Continue your story, John.

259
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,093
[JOHN] Oh, right.

260
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,183
The story. Um...

261
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,728
Well, I got back to the house around 4:00,

262
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:08,267
and saw Jesus Alvarado, my...

263
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,314
employer.

264
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,446
[SIGHS]

265
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:18,864
[QUIETLY] Shit.

266
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,321
John, what's up?

267
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:24,832
I want you to meet Bill.

268
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:27,460
- Hey.
- Hey.

269
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:31,086
My small-town experience was...

270
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:35,089
limited concerning disability.

271
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,761
- How you doing? John.
- Good, good.

272
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,632
[JOHN] Jesus wanted me
to look at the guy's pen.

273
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,142
Check that out.

274
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:45,721
Got to turn it upside down.

275
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:50,229
[ALL CHUCKLING]

276
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,108
Uh, I went inside for a drink.

277
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,405
[TERRY AND BONNIE LAUGHING, CHATTERING]

278
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,357
[TERRY] I'm coming back for events.

279
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,317
- Oh, my God, I've lost it.
- [TERRY] Ah! Yes!

280
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,778
- What's going on?
- I've lost the touch.

281
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:01,907
- My shoe!
- Hi, John.

282
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,705
- This is Bonnie.
- Oh, hi.

283
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,373
I hear you're from, um, Oregon.

284
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:06,290
That's right.

285
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:07,743
What do you guys do up there for fun?

286
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,544
Well, there's not a lot to do in Oregon,
you know?

287
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,872
So a certain percentage of the population
drives down here

288
00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,798
to Long Beach to look for jobs.

289
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:16,251
[TERRY] We are going to a party tonight,
if you want to come.

290
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,256
Oh, really?

291
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:18,428
- [BONNIE] Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

292
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,880
- Well...
- Want to drive us there?

293
00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:22,136
- I mean, I... Ooh.
- [TERRY] Oh. [LAUGHING]

294
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,302
[BONNIE LAUGHING]

295
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:26,519
Oh.

296
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,268
[LAUGHS] We're...

297
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,731
We're getting in trouble tonight.

298
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,226
[VIRGINIA] Am I happy?

299
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,231
- No. So...
- [CHATTER, MUSIC PLAYING]

300
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,609
Divorced? Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

301
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:38,281
I'm seeing a couple guys now.

302
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,575
I've been going to therapy.
Have you ever gone?

303
00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:43,074
It'd be so good for you. [SIGHS]

304
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:44,780
Just gotten off meat.

305
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,331
Been kicking dairy.

306
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:49,626
I'm gonna do life without eggs now.

307
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:52,955
Hey, um, I just need to use
the bathroom really quick.

308
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,041
- Will you... will you be here?
- Uh, yeah. Okay.

309
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,296
[MUSIC AND CHATTER CONTINUE IN DISTANCE]

310
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,387
- [MAN WHOOPS]
- [MUSIC PLAYING]

311
00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:20,524
Hey, Terry, where's that girl
I was just talking to?

312
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,905
- [TERRY] Um, the redhead girl?
- Yeah.

313
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,328
I think she just left with some friends.

314
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,530
- She left the party?
- Mm-hmm.

315
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,957
- Well, good for her.
- [WOMEN CHUCKLE]

316
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,659
- You guys are still here.
- [TERRY] She got places to be.

317
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:31,664
- You're stuck with us.
- Yeah.

318
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:35,247
- Nah.
- Far fucking out. Dexter.

319
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,674
I'm Dexter. Hey. I'm Dexter.

320
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:39,675
John.

321
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,177
- John.
- Yeah.

322
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:42,253
How 'bout that girl?

323
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,390
[CHUCKLES] Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

324
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,267
She left.

325
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,020
- She was digging you, man.
- Yeah.

326
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,813
Yeah. Take you home,

327
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:55,021
have a little sophisticated LA sex.

328
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,562
No, all she wanted to do
was talk about her colon.

329
00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:02,821
That's what all people in LA talk about,
their colons.

330
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:04,867
And that's 'cause they're all assholes.

331
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:07,116
- ["MAGGIE'S FARM" BY BOB DYLAN]
- Yes. Where are you from?

332
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,620
- I'm not from here...
- Ah, shit. Turn that shit off, man!

333
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:12,875
- Making me sick!
- What are you talking about?

334
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,419
- Too much Dylan!
- Too much Dylan?

335
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:16,462
- You don't know what you're talking about.
- The answer, my friend

336
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:17,585
- is blowin' in the wind.
- He's a poet!

337
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:20,543
The answer, my friend, is getting blown

338
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,172
- in the wind.
- You sound like an idiot.

339
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,471
- What are you...
- The answer's getting blown

340
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,890
- in the wind.
- [LAUGHING]

341
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,467
Guy's getting blown,

342
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,052
- and he's whining about it!
- [LAUGHS]

343
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,513
He's not talking about getting blown.

344
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,347
Getting blown in the wind,

345
00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,729
- you fucking moron!
- I know!

346
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:39,026
I was fucking with you!

347
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:41,526
[BOTH LAUGH]

348
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:42,776
You think I don't know?

349
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,654
Johnny, Johnny,

350
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,031
- listen to me, listen to me.
- [LAUGHS]

351
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,032
Seriously.

352
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,616
I know a party that's ten times
better than this shit-bag.

353
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,244
Let's go there now.
There's ten times hotter babes.

354
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,547
We plow the Milagro Beanfield.

355
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:00,714
[JOHN LAUGHS]

356
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:04,420
Huh? You and me. Come on.

357
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,175
What a promise.

358
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,719
[EXHALES]

359
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:10,345
I guess we thought that

360
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,892
"the babes"
were fairer on the other side of town.

361
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:21,395
So I left Terry and her friends,
and we headed to the next party.

362
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:25,990
But not before we got even more wasted.

363
00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:27,942
Hey. Clink it.

364
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:31,701
["She's Not Mama's Little Girl Anymore"
by Lou Roberts plays]

365
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,032
Keep 'em comin', bro!

366
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,366
[LAUGHS LOUDLY]

367
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:35,701
[SIGHS] Oh.

368
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,005
Some people tell me I look like
Burt Reynolds.

369
00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:41,171
- [COUGHING]
- I don't see it.

370
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:42,923
Do you see it?

371
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,839
- Yeah. I do.
- Thank you.

372
00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:47,796
- You're a sexy man.
- Thank you, man!

373
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:50,223
- [LAUGHS]
- You're a sexy man.

374
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,597
Can you keep 'em comin'?
I don't want to say it.

375
00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:56,100
[WHISTLING]

376
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,853
I know you got a lot of people
up and down to take care of,

377
00:21:58,943 --> 00:22:01,185
but 'member who the main customer...

378
00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:03,110
- How 'bout the whole bottle?
- [LAUGHING, COUGHING]

379
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:04,187
How 'bout the whole bottle?

380
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,273
How 'bout the whole bottle?

381
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,567
Is that good enough?

382
00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,570
- Hey. Don't get sad.
- No.

383
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:12,825
There's so many more.

384
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,668
Keep 'em comin', bro. We talked about this.

385
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:19,744
[WHISTLES]

386
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:24,541
Take the wheel.

387
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:27,093
[RETCHING]

388
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:28,632
I'm back.

389
00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:31,389
- [SIGHS]
- Wash it down?

390
00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:38,430
[DEXTER] Guess who you're driving with.

391
00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:42,142
I'm the cunnilingus king
of Orange County, man.

392
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,153
[CHUCKLES] I just love yodeling into it.

393
00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:48,027
[YODELING, WARBLING]

394
00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:51,906
Oh, shit! That's Scott's Adventure Land!

395
00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:53,328
That's Scott's Adventure Land!

396
00:22:53,414 --> 00:22:55,701
[LAUGHS] What's Scott's Adventure Land?

397
00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:58,750
You never been to Scott's Adventure Land?
I never been to... Let's go there.

398
00:22:58,836 --> 00:23:00,293
[STAMMERS] Make a U-turn.

399
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:01,961
Just fucking jump over the wall, man.

400
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,414
[CROWD CHEERING IN DISTANCE]

401
00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:23,062
- [RETCHING]
- Oh, yeah. Oh, God.

402
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,105
[MAN] Draw!

403
00:23:30,284 --> 00:23:31,320
Oh, really?

404
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:32,617
Don't be a fool, brother.

405
00:23:32,703 --> 00:23:35,491
You just tussled with the wrong cowboy.

406
00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:38,915
- [GUN CLICKS]
- [DEXTER SHOUTS]

407
00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:40,537
- [KIDS LAUGHING]
- You son of a...

408
00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:43,415
- [CRYING]
- [JOHN] No!

409
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:45,000
No!

410
00:23:48,302 --> 00:23:50,635
["YOUNG AND DUMB" BY LOU ANN BARTON PLAYING]

411
00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:57,767
- My car, I drive.
- You're in no condition to drive, friend.

412
00:23:57,853 --> 00:23:59,640
- My car, I drive.
- I'm gonna take the fucking keys.

413
00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:02,188
- Hey. Hey.
- I'm gonna take the fucking keys.

414
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,981
- You guys are in no condition to drive!
- Aah!

415
00:24:04,068 --> 00:24:06,276
- [MIMICS ENGINE REVVING]
- [LAUGHS]

416
00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:23,289
[MUTTERS] Babes.

417
00:24:43,399 --> 00:24:44,515
[JOHN] And that was it.

418
00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:49,899
Dexter had mistaken
a Con Edison light pole for an exit

419
00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:52,527
and slammed into it at 90 miles an hour.

420
00:25:09,675 --> 00:25:11,416
[NURSE] Let me know
when you're ready. I think...

421
00:25:12,261 --> 00:25:14,674
On three. One, two, three.

422
00:25:17,141 --> 00:25:18,632
[PEOPLE CHATTERING NEARBY]

423
00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:22,761
[MIRIONE] Hello, John. I'm Dr. Mirione.

424
00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:27,895
Bright, bright lights.

425
00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:29,646
Surprisingly noisy, isn't it?

426
00:25:30,070 --> 00:25:33,939
Well, there's very little peace and quiet
for the dying and nearly dying.

427
00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:35,566
[WEAKLY] I'm dying?

428
00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:39,323
The average survival time for
catastrophic patients here is 12 hours.

429
00:25:40,497 --> 00:25:42,739
Nasty accident you had in that Volkswagen.

430
00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:43,949
I saw the car.

431
00:25:44,835 --> 00:25:47,077
Looks terrible. Looked terrible.

432
00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:50,004
[JOHN WHISPERING]

433
00:25:50,090 --> 00:25:51,501
I can't hear you. Talk louder.

434
00:25:52,468 --> 00:25:54,551
[QUIETLY] What happened to the driver?

435
00:25:54,636 --> 00:25:56,252
What happened to Dexter?

436
00:25:56,346 --> 00:25:57,712
Oh, Dexter Marzynski?

437
00:25:58,098 --> 00:25:59,589
He walked away with a few scratches.

438
00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:01,053
He was very, very lucky.

439
00:26:03,854 --> 00:26:04,935
Jesus Christ.

440
00:26:05,439 --> 00:26:06,646
My heart really goes out to you.

441
00:26:06,732 --> 00:26:09,270
I mean, possibly paralyzed for life.

442
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:12,401
Nice sunrise, though.

443
00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:14,987
[GROANS SOFTLY]

444
00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:22,154
[WOMAN OVER P.A.] Susan Henry
to the nurses' station.

445
00:27:15,717 --> 00:27:16,628
[DOCTOR] Okay.

446
00:27:18,095 --> 00:27:19,631
Let's see here.

447
00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:24,762
This is a C5, C6,

448
00:27:24,852 --> 00:27:28,095
which is a complete cervical six lesion.

449
00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:29,929
Uh, good shoulder movement.

450
00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:32,936
Uh, complete paralysis of the body and legs.

451
00:27:33,026 --> 00:27:35,018
No finger movement, but good, uh...

452
00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:36,899
[QUIETLY] I'm not an impostor.

453
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,652
- I'm a real quadriplegic.
- [DOCTOR] Spinal cord severed

454
00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:42,905
between the fifth and sixth vertebrae,
counting down from the top.

455
00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:46,534
Somewhere between decathlon champion
and rigor mortis.

456
00:27:46,623 --> 00:27:49,081
...half his deltoid, half his, uh, diaphragm.

457
00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:52,661
But if he's not careful,
he can choke to death. Yeah.

458
00:27:52,754 --> 00:27:58,000
Uh, this patient over here is
a C4-5 neurologically intact.

459
00:27:58,635 --> 00:28:01,127
Uh, a tibia plateau fracture.

460
00:28:01,597 --> 00:28:03,338
Not as catastrophic an injury.

461
00:28:16,612 --> 00:28:17,773
[ANNU, IN SWEDISH ACCENT] Hi, John.

462
00:28:18,572 --> 00:28:19,562
My name is Annu.

463
00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:24,283
Wow. You're very good-looking.

464
00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:35,915
How are things going here, John?

465
00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:38,710
[QUIETLY] It's bad.

466
00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:41,880
It's really bad.

467
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,133
I can't move.

468
00:28:45,224 --> 00:28:48,843
I can't feel my body, and where I can,
it just hurts.

469
00:28:50,479 --> 00:28:52,471
I can't take a whiz or anything.

470
00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:55,056
I just feel like I'm going fucking crazy.

471
00:28:55,150 --> 00:28:56,231
[ANNU] Yeah.

472
00:28:56,318 --> 00:28:58,401
Yeah, it doesn't sound
like it's going too well.

473
00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:01,817
[CRYING] No, it doesn't.

474
00:29:02,532 --> 00:29:06,025
It's awful. I just don't even know
how I'm gonna, like...

475
00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:10,951
I don't know how I can live
any life after this.

476
00:29:11,041 --> 00:29:13,875
I just feel like
I'm not gonna have any future.

477
00:29:14,544 --> 00:29:16,627
And the doctors don't tell me anything,

478
00:29:16,713 --> 00:29:20,753
but it looks like I'm just
gonna be like this for life.

479
00:29:20,842 --> 00:29:22,879
I can't understand this.

480
00:29:22,970 --> 00:29:24,836
Doesn't seem fair.

481
00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:28,173
John, you're a very special person.

482
00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:29,970
I feel it.

483
00:29:32,312 --> 00:29:35,020
I brought you some flowers.
I hope you like them.

484
00:29:35,983 --> 00:29:36,939
Thank you.

485
00:29:38,110 --> 00:29:39,442
Can I smell them?

486
00:29:42,281 --> 00:29:44,443
[EXHALES]

487
00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:46,274
That's nice. Thank you.

488
00:29:46,368 --> 00:29:48,360
Would you like me to rub your shoulders?

489
00:29:49,705 --> 00:29:51,662
Yes, please.

490
00:29:52,582 --> 00:29:55,450
It was a lovely day out. Very hot.

491
00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:57,334
Drove here in my convertible.

492
00:29:58,463 --> 00:30:00,546
Do you really think I'm good-looking?

493
00:30:01,550 --> 00:30:04,008
Yes, you're very good-looking.
That hasn't changed.

494
00:30:04,553 --> 00:30:06,010
And you have tremendous strength.

495
00:30:06,430 --> 00:30:08,422
You'll go on to have
a wonderful life. I can tell.

496
00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:11,011
I pray that I will.

497
00:30:13,395 --> 00:30:15,728
I make prayers to God, you know.

498
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,682
I remember all the promises to God

499
00:30:18,775 --> 00:30:23,270
and pacts with the devil
made by characters in Dickens

500
00:30:23,363 --> 00:30:26,527
or, like, Rosemary's Baby,

501
00:30:27,576 --> 00:30:30,489
to, you know, like,
change history and make things better

502
00:30:30,579 --> 00:30:32,662
or escape horrible fates.

503
00:30:33,081 --> 00:30:34,538
And what do you say to God?

504
00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:39,251
I say, "Please, don't let me be paralyzed."

505
00:30:40,172 --> 00:30:42,164
I just can't be paralyzed.

506
00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:44,540
Things work out for John Callahan.

507
00:30:44,634 --> 00:30:46,921
I'm just not one of the ones
who ends up paralyzed.

508
00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:48,219
I just can't be.

509
00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:53,258
And what about when you're
talking to the devil, John?

510
00:30:56,146 --> 00:30:58,012
I say, "I'll give you anything.

511
00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:02,559
Anything you want, just change this."

512
00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:05,228
And you're from Oregon?

513
00:31:06,281 --> 00:31:07,192
That's your home?

514
00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:08,944
Yes.

515
00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:11,325
Yes. The...

516
00:31:13,205 --> 00:31:14,696
The Dalles.

517
00:31:22,506 --> 00:31:24,122
It's sort of a hick town.

518
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:27,254
- [BIRDS CHIRPING]
- [WOMAN YODELS]

519
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,837
We're a bunch of gomers.

520
00:31:30,931 --> 00:31:34,049
Gomers? What is "gomers"?

521
00:31:35,268 --> 00:31:37,760
I like how you say it. "Gomers."

522
00:31:38,188 --> 00:31:39,269
[ANNU CHUCKLES]

523
00:31:39,356 --> 00:31:41,439
I don't know. I think it just...

524
00:31:42,150 --> 00:31:44,608
you know, it, like,
means you're from the country.

525
00:31:44,694 --> 00:31:45,935
It's derogatory.

526
00:31:46,029 --> 00:31:46,985
Ah.

527
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:49,447
Where are you from?

528
00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:50,523
From Stockholm.

529
00:31:51,493 --> 00:31:53,576
There's a lot of fishing there,
lots of salmon.

530
00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:55,198
Oh, same with The Dalles.

531
00:31:57,624 --> 00:31:59,832
- Yeah?
- Yeah, lots of salmon.

532
00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:01,951
Now we have something in common.

533
00:32:02,045 --> 00:32:04,037
I think we have a lot in common, John.

534
00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:06,793
Yeah. Salmon.

535
00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:08,715
And we're both gomers.

536
00:32:10,470 --> 00:32:11,802
And what else, John?

537
00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:13,971
I look at the sunrise.

538
00:32:15,725 --> 00:32:17,637
- The sunrise is nice.
- Mm-hmm.

539
00:32:18,061 --> 00:32:19,552
It's very calming.

540
00:32:20,856 --> 00:32:23,018
I've been watching the gymnasts out there.

541
00:32:37,247 --> 00:32:39,364
I have to go to my next
appointment now, John.

542
00:32:39,916 --> 00:32:41,373
But I'll be seeing you again soon.

543
00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:43,668
- When?
- One day next week.

544
00:32:45,839 --> 00:32:47,671
Very nice to meet you, John.

545
00:32:47,757 --> 00:32:49,714
I liked meeting you, too, Annu.

546
00:32:50,218 --> 00:32:52,756
Thank you. Thank you for my flowers.

547
00:32:53,305 --> 00:32:54,295
See you soon.

548
00:32:56,266 --> 00:32:57,302
Bye.

549
00:33:04,566 --> 00:33:05,932
I'm glad I met Annu.

550
00:33:06,651 --> 00:33:09,519
What about us, John?
Aren't you glad you met us?

551
00:33:09,613 --> 00:33:10,694
John doesn't like us.

552
00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:12,021
[JOHN] Well, of course I like you.

553
00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:14,774
I just can't get laid with any of you.

554
00:33:14,868 --> 00:33:16,905
- Have you tried?
- [REBA CHUCKLES]

555
00:33:20,248 --> 00:33:21,489
Well, have you tried?

556
00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:25,539
One, two and three.

557
00:33:25,629 --> 00:33:26,790
Here we go.

558
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:27,791
All right.

559
00:33:28,298 --> 00:33:30,335
Adjust him on three.

560
00:33:30,425 --> 00:33:31,961
One, two, three.

561
00:33:32,636 --> 00:33:34,252
- There we go.
- There you go.

562
00:33:34,346 --> 00:33:35,302
All set.

563
00:33:39,684 --> 00:33:41,016
That's the power button right here.

564
00:33:41,686 --> 00:33:42,676
Enjoy.

565
00:34:13,677 --> 00:34:14,838
- [THUMP]
- Oh.

566
00:34:21,977 --> 00:34:23,138
[CHUCKLES]

567
00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:28,605
[LAUGHS]

568
00:34:37,534 --> 00:34:39,867
[LAUGHS]

569
00:34:40,704 --> 00:34:42,491
[WHEELS SQUEAKING]

570
00:34:51,339 --> 00:34:53,126
[LAUGHS]

571
00:35:06,479 --> 00:35:09,517
- [GRUNTING]
- [BASKETBALL BOUNCING]

572
00:35:14,029 --> 00:35:14,940
Oh.

573
00:35:15,030 --> 00:35:16,316
[MAN CHATTERING]

574
00:35:17,657 --> 00:35:18,693
Ah.

575
00:35:18,783 --> 00:35:20,149
Ah, nice shot.

576
00:35:20,577 --> 00:35:22,819
- Hey, man. How you doing?
- Pretty good. How you doing?

577
00:35:22,912 --> 00:35:25,199
[CHARLES-MARIE] Pretty good.
We're just shooting some hoops.

578
00:35:25,290 --> 00:35:27,282
Fucking "A." I'm John.

579
00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:30,576
- Charles-Marie. Welcome.
- Nice to meet you. Thanks.

580
00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:35,332
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

581
00:35:35,425 --> 00:35:37,462
[PROJECTOR WHIRRING]

582
00:35:41,931 --> 00:35:44,218
[MAN OVER VIDEO] Sexual activity
is an opportunity

583
00:35:44,309 --> 00:35:46,346
to get to know yourself again.

584
00:35:46,436 --> 00:35:49,053
It's an opportunity to build confidence.

585
00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:52,140
After your accident, John,
your body doesn't have

586
00:35:52,233 --> 00:35:54,190
ordinary psychogenic erections anymore,

587
00:35:54,277 --> 00:35:57,065
so you have to use reflexogenic erections.

588
00:35:57,906 --> 00:35:59,738
Reflexogenic erections.

589
00:36:00,033 --> 00:36:01,149
Sounds sexy.

590
00:36:01,785 --> 00:36:05,074
So, how would I go about achieving that?

591
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,029
- Can you demonstrate?
- Behave.

592
00:36:07,957 --> 00:36:10,449
Have you thought about
asking that little nurse of yours

593
00:36:10,543 --> 00:36:12,580
to sit on your face some night, John?

594
00:36:13,213 --> 00:36:15,079
Hey, Lilly, may I ask you a question?

595
00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:17,506
Sure, yeah. Ask me anything.

596
00:36:18,426 --> 00:36:19,792
Can you sit on my face?

597
00:36:21,888 --> 00:36:26,349
That's a shocking yet wildly exciting idea.

598
00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:28,259
But no. I mean...

599
00:36:28,687 --> 00:36:30,178
[WHISPERS] Would that be appropriate?

600
00:36:30,271 --> 00:36:31,807
Who cares if it's appropriate?

601
00:36:31,898 --> 00:36:33,105
John.

602
00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:34,515
You're thinking about it.

603
00:36:38,780 --> 00:36:40,942
- [JOHN SIGHS]
- Good night.

604
00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:45,659
Did you hear that?

605
00:36:46,079 --> 00:36:46,990
[MAN] You scored.

606
00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:48,696
Not quite.

607
00:36:49,374 --> 00:36:50,364
She'll be back.

608
00:36:50,834 --> 00:36:52,871
My job's to get you the erection.

609
00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:54,202
That's all I care about.

610
00:36:54,963 --> 00:36:57,000
Worse she could say is no,
and if she says no,

611
00:36:57,090 --> 00:36:58,581
then you come back and ask me.

612
00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:00,374
That's a deal.

613
00:37:00,844 --> 00:37:05,555
Reflexogenic simply means
that it has to be from the touch, okay?

614
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:06,756
If she sits there...

615
00:37:06,850 --> 00:37:07,840
[MOANS]

616
00:37:07,934 --> 00:37:13,555
...the touch will stimulate blood flow
to here, hence causing an erection.

617
00:37:14,274 --> 00:37:15,230
Okay?

618
00:37:16,443 --> 00:37:18,685
[PANTING]

619
00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:20,815
- Really?
- But you can't just think about it.

620
00:37:20,905 --> 00:37:22,897
You can't just imagine it anymore.

621
00:37:22,991 --> 00:37:25,529
[GASPING]

622
00:37:32,667 --> 00:37:33,874
- [MARGIE] Are you feeling me?
- [JOHN] Yeah.

623
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:35,622
That's where my dick used to be.

624
00:37:35,712 --> 00:37:36,998
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]

625
00:37:41,718 --> 00:37:44,005
[NURSE] Pull it.
I'm trying to get further and further.

626
00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:46,302
And down.

627
00:37:46,389 --> 00:37:47,470
Can you do it?

628
00:37:48,767 --> 00:37:51,100
Annu, sometimes I just want to drink.

629
00:37:52,061 --> 00:37:55,771
You know, it doesn't seem fair
that we can't have a drink.

630
00:37:56,441 --> 00:37:59,775
But, you know, we can go
to Tiny's Tavern on the weekends

631
00:37:59,861 --> 00:38:01,773
and drink as much as we want.

632
00:38:02,238 --> 00:38:05,231
Might give it to us for free,
you know, 'cause they feel bad for us.

633
00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:06,281
You know, we milk it.

634
00:38:06,826 --> 00:38:08,362
[CHUCKLES]

635
00:38:10,121 --> 00:38:12,078
Oh, you're not gonna believe
what happened the other night.

636
00:38:12,165 --> 00:38:15,203
So, we're coming back from Tiny's Tavern,

637
00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:19,537
me and Charles-Marie, and we're crossing
the railroad tracks on our way back here.

638
00:38:21,216 --> 00:38:24,129
And Charles-Marie's chair got stuck
in the railroad tracks.

639
00:38:24,219 --> 00:38:25,505
[BELL DINGING, HORN HONKS]

640
00:38:25,595 --> 00:38:26,927
Shit!

641
00:38:29,641 --> 00:38:32,884
And he said, "Let me die.

642
00:38:33,394 --> 00:38:35,556
Let me die. It's better this way."

643
00:38:35,647 --> 00:38:37,934
Just let me die! It's better this way!

644
00:38:38,024 --> 00:38:40,357
Grab on to my chair. Grab on to my chair!

645
00:38:40,443 --> 00:38:42,150
[HORN BLARING]

646
00:38:43,029 --> 00:38:45,271
And you know what's funny?

647
00:38:45,782 --> 00:38:47,774
[CHUCKLES] He meant it.

648
00:38:48,701 --> 00:38:52,615
I think, in that moment,
he really wanted to die.

649
00:38:52,705 --> 00:38:54,492
[ANNU] That's not very funny, John.

650
00:38:54,916 --> 00:38:56,157
That sounds dangerous.

651
00:38:56,709 --> 00:38:58,245
[HORN BLARING]

652
00:38:58,336 --> 00:38:59,998
[CHARLES-MARIE SCREAMS]

653
00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:01,875
All in a day of being a quad.

654
00:39:05,635 --> 00:39:07,126
[LINE RINGING]

655
00:39:07,929 --> 00:39:10,342
[PHONE RINGING]

656
00:39:14,811 --> 00:39:15,642
Hello.

657
00:39:15,728 --> 00:39:17,435
Hey, uh, is this Donnie?

658
00:39:17,522 --> 00:39:18,353
Yeah, who's this?

659
00:39:18,439 --> 00:39:20,226
Hey, Donnie, this is John Callahan.

660
00:39:20,316 --> 00:39:23,275
I'm the neon cripple from outer space.

661
00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,193
Oh, the man with the tangerine hair?

662
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,114
Well, I always thought
of my hair as electric orange,

663
00:39:28,825 --> 00:39:31,158
but, yeah, that's me. Uh...

664
00:39:31,244 --> 00:39:33,577
Look, I got your number off the board.

665
00:39:33,663 --> 00:39:35,074
I'm calling because

666
00:39:35,999 --> 00:39:38,286
I need a sponsor.

667
00:39:38,751 --> 00:39:40,993
I do have a lot of piglets at the moment.

668
00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:43,500
What are piglets? I need a sponsor.

669
00:39:43,590 --> 00:39:45,206
My sponsees are piglets.

670
00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:46,131
[JOHN LAUGHS]

671
00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:47,833
That's funny.

672
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:50,169
- Wow.
- You want me to help you get sober.

673
00:39:50,263 --> 00:39:52,801
Well, I saw you speak, and, uh,

674
00:39:53,349 --> 00:39:55,215
I really like what you had to say

675
00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:57,097
about the two pairs of pants
and the woman's...

676
00:39:57,186 --> 00:39:59,269
See, John, I know. I just...

677
00:39:59,355 --> 00:40:00,721
And I don't know if you're serious.

678
00:40:00,815 --> 00:40:01,896
Oh, Jesus Christ.

679
00:40:01,983 --> 00:40:03,224
Oh, I call him Chucky.

680
00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:04,229
What?

681
00:40:04,819 --> 00:40:06,731
I don't know, John Callahan. I don't...

682
00:40:06,821 --> 00:40:08,483
I'm serious. I am serious.

683
00:40:08,573 --> 00:40:10,656
I... You know, sometimes I just, I make jokes

684
00:40:10,742 --> 00:40:14,986
'cause I get nervous, but I'm,
I need, I need something.

685
00:40:15,079 --> 00:40:16,741
You know... [SIGHS]

686
00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:21,451
every day, like clockwork at 4:00 p.m.,

687
00:40:21,544 --> 00:40:24,082
I get massively depressed.

688
00:40:24,172 --> 00:40:25,913
Well, I'm depressed
from the moment I wake up,

689
00:40:26,007 --> 00:40:28,545
- so got you there.
- [CHUCKLES] Listen.

690
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:31,969
We're having a group talk,
my place on Saturday.

691
00:40:32,055 --> 00:40:33,091
Why don't you drop by?

692
00:40:33,181 --> 00:40:35,298
Ooh, a talk?

693
00:40:35,391 --> 00:40:36,552
We'll talk about Chucky.

694
00:40:36,643 --> 00:40:39,807
The other piglets are coming by at 1:00.
4014 Northwest Johnson.

695
00:40:39,896 --> 00:40:41,478
- Don't be late.
- Tim.

696
00:40:41,564 --> 00:40:43,305
4014 Northwest Johnson.

697
00:40:43,399 --> 00:40:45,061
- 1:00 p.m.
- Are you talking to me?

698
00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:47,442
- All right, thank you. I'll see you then.
- Okay.

699
00:40:47,528 --> 00:40:49,394
Drink water. Bye.

700
00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:54,278
40... Wait, what was it?

701
00:40:54,369 --> 00:40:56,782
- [TIM] 4014 Southwest Johnson.
- Okay.

702
00:40:56,871 --> 00:40:59,409
- [MUTTERS] Let's go.
- [WHISTLE BLOWS]

703
00:40:59,499 --> 00:41:01,991
Hey, Sam, get back and clean up this mess.

704
00:41:02,085 --> 00:41:04,168
And get out of here and go grab some PT.

705
00:41:04,504 --> 00:41:05,915
You grab some PT.

706
00:41:06,255 --> 00:41:07,666
- Hi.
- Oh.

707
00:41:07,757 --> 00:41:09,089
- Oh, hi.
- Oh, sorry.

708
00:41:09,175 --> 00:41:10,040
- That's okay.
- Hi.

709
00:41:10,134 --> 00:41:11,375
Hi. I'm Debbie.

710
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,210
- Hi, I'm John.
- Hi, what's up?

711
00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:16,138
Um, I'm gonna go out to the park.
Do you want to come with me?

712
00:41:16,224 --> 00:41:17,089
Uh...

713
00:41:17,183 --> 00:41:19,220
fuck, today is Monday...

714
00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:21,552
- Fuck yeah.
- Yes?

715
00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:23,603
- Oh, yeah. [CHUCKLES]
- Thank you. Good, let's go.

716
00:41:23,690 --> 00:41:24,601
Okay.

717
00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:28,810
["Gonna Have a Funky Good Time"
by James Brown playing]

718
00:41:30,905 --> 00:41:33,192
# We're gonna have a funky, good time... #

719
00:41:33,282 --> 00:41:34,489
You're good. You did it.

720
00:41:35,743 --> 00:41:37,780
- Not bad.
- [LAUGHS]

721
00:41:37,870 --> 00:41:40,738
# We're gonna have a funky, good time #

722
00:41:41,833 --> 00:41:44,166
# We're gonna have a funky, good time #

723
00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:45,413
# Take 'em up #

724
00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:46,664
# We gotta take you #

725
00:41:46,754 --> 00:41:51,044
# Higher #

726
00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:54,885
- [DEBBIE LAUGHS]
- # We gotta take you higher... #

727
00:41:54,971 --> 00:41:56,052
[JOHN LAUGHS]

728
00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:02,350
# We're gonna have a funky, good time... #

729
00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:04,474
[DEBBIE] Got it. Yeah.

730
00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:06,681
# We're gonna have a funky, good time... #

731
00:42:06,774 --> 00:42:08,481
You got it. You got it.

732
00:42:08,568 --> 00:42:10,855
- Hey, you're a good dancer.
- [DEBBIE] Oh, well...

733
00:42:10,945 --> 00:42:11,901
# Play it, Georgia #

734
00:42:11,988 --> 00:42:14,105
# We're gonna have a funky, good time #

735
00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:15,530
# Take 'em up #

736
00:42:15,616 --> 00:42:20,736
# We gotta take you higher #

737
00:42:23,207 --> 00:42:28,419
# We gotta take you higher #

738
00:42:31,340 --> 00:42:32,831
[QUIET CHATTER]

739
00:42:35,178 --> 00:42:36,043
[MAN] Hello.

740
00:42:36,137 --> 00:42:37,423
Hey, is Donnie here?

741
00:42:37,513 --> 00:42:39,129
- [MAN] Yeah, he is.
- Oh.

742
00:42:39,223 --> 00:42:41,089
- Hi, I'm John.
- Hi, John.

743
00:42:41,184 --> 00:42:43,471
- [JOHN] I'm so sorry we're late.
- How you doing?

744
00:42:44,604 --> 00:42:45,936
[DONNIE] John, welcome to the group.

745
00:42:46,022 --> 00:42:47,638
Hi. Thanks. Sorry we're late.

746
00:42:47,732 --> 00:42:49,974
- Oh...
- Tim thought it was Southwest.

747
00:42:50,068 --> 00:42:51,479
- Why'd you think Southwest?
- It's okay.

748
00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:53,276
[TIM] Yeah, Southwest,
but we got here, didn't we?

749
00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:55,688
[DONNIE] This is Reba,
who I think you've met.

750
00:42:55,782 --> 00:42:58,946
- Hello.
- Martingale, Corky, Hans, Mike.

751
00:42:59,035 --> 00:42:59,866
- Hi.
- Hello.

752
00:42:59,952 --> 00:43:00,863
Welcome.

753
00:43:01,287 --> 00:43:02,198
[JOHN] That's Tim.

754
00:43:03,122 --> 00:43:04,579
- [MIKE] Welcome, Tim.
- Tim.

755
00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:05,997
- [HANS] Hi, Tim.
- [MARTINGALE] Hello, Tim.

756
00:43:06,542 --> 00:43:08,408
And now that we're getting all acquainted,

757
00:43:09,504 --> 00:43:11,962
how was everyone's week?
Anybody want to speak?

758
00:43:12,048 --> 00:43:13,584
Um, I have something to talk about.

759
00:43:13,674 --> 00:43:15,791
Oh, John, just so you know,
since you're new here,

760
00:43:16,219 --> 00:43:17,050
I'm a poet.

761
00:43:17,136 --> 00:43:18,126
A street poet.

762
00:43:18,888 --> 00:43:20,004
And a gay activist.

763
00:43:21,557 --> 00:43:23,594
So, I was at the Pendleton Round-Up,

764
00:43:23,684 --> 00:43:26,848
and I took the opportunity
to read one of my poems,

765
00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:30,477
which has in it a number
of references to young cocks.

766
00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:32,190
This is it.

767
00:43:33,194 --> 00:43:34,105
"Hot...

768
00:43:35,029 --> 00:43:36,361
in the summer sun.

769
00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:40,775
Working all day, hustling hay.

770
00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:43,610
It's getting harder

771
00:43:44,122 --> 00:43:45,738
and harder

772
00:43:45,832 --> 00:43:47,698
and harder...

773
00:43:48,209 --> 00:43:51,293
ready to pop out of their button fly.

774
00:43:52,046 --> 00:43:52,957
Pop!

775
00:43:53,548 --> 00:43:54,584
Pop!"

776
00:43:54,674 --> 00:43:56,461
[HANS] We got it. Pop!

777
00:43:56,551 --> 00:44:00,636
- Pop! It's all about penises, please.
- [CORKY] Oh, stop.

778
00:44:00,721 --> 00:44:05,182
And just like that, some cowboy stops me
and says my poem is X-rated.

779
00:44:05,268 --> 00:44:06,509
And you don't think it was?

780
00:44:07,812 --> 00:44:09,428
No. It wasn't.

781
00:44:09,856 --> 00:44:11,597
It was a red-blooded, American poem.

782
00:44:11,691 --> 00:44:12,807
- [REBA] All right.
- [CHUCKLES]

783
00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:15,517
So, the cowboy tells me
to stop, and I say to him,

784
00:44:15,611 --> 00:44:20,447
"I'm an American reading an American poem
about an American institution."

785
00:44:21,325 --> 00:44:22,486
He didn't like that.

786
00:44:22,827 --> 00:44:24,989
He accused me of being drunk. [SCOFFS]

787
00:44:25,079 --> 00:44:28,368
I say to him, "I've been sober
now for three years.

788
00:44:28,833 --> 00:44:30,495
I'm a proud member of AA."

789
00:44:31,169 --> 00:44:32,159
And I walked off.

790
00:44:33,254 --> 00:44:35,541
[DONNIE] Anyone want to respond
to Martingale's story?

791
00:44:36,257 --> 00:44:38,874
Well, the poems make straight guys angry.

792
00:44:38,968 --> 00:44:41,130
- I'm not angry, Hans.
- See?

793
00:44:41,220 --> 00:44:45,681
But here's the thing: that kind of anger
can get in the way of your recovery.

794
00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:49,430
I think we can all agree that being out there

795
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,058
and having a good time,
not drinking, we get it...

796
00:44:52,899 --> 00:44:54,015
feels really good.

797
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:58,485
But it's one thing to read your poems
in front of people that you know

798
00:44:58,571 --> 00:45:00,608
in your Greek cafes late at night,

799
00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:03,611
but it's another to read it
in front of rednecks at a rodeo.

800
00:45:03,701 --> 00:45:04,691
It's a little bit dangerous.

801
00:45:04,785 --> 00:45:06,902
- I think he was really brave.
- [MIKE] Mm.

802
00:45:06,996 --> 00:45:08,203
- Yeah, I do, too, Martingale.
- Yeah.

803
00:45:08,289 --> 00:45:09,575
- I mean, I...
- Fuck the rednecks, right?

804
00:45:09,665 --> 00:45:11,531
- That's right.
- Hey. I'm a mullet-haired redneck,

805
00:45:11,626 --> 00:45:12,867
and you know I'll kick your ass.

806
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:14,292
You know I can kick your ass.

807
00:45:14,378 --> 00:45:15,994
- [DONNIE] John, any comments?
- [JOHN] What?

808
00:45:16,088 --> 00:45:17,044
John.

809
00:45:19,258 --> 00:45:22,092
[REBA] What I want to know is,
with all the poems that you have,

810
00:45:22,178 --> 00:45:23,635
they can't all be about penises.

811
00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:26,054
I mean, you probably got
some pretty ones, I'm sure.

812
00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:27,551
- [LAUGHS]
- [DONNIE] Well, what I believe

813
00:45:27,642 --> 00:45:31,181
is we all have led, in our non-sober periods,

814
00:45:31,270 --> 00:45:33,262
somewhat chaotic lives.

815
00:45:33,606 --> 00:45:36,394
And I think there's a very fine line

816
00:45:36,484 --> 00:45:40,273
between creating chaos
because of the adventure

817
00:45:40,363 --> 00:45:43,982
and creating chaos
because of the dependency on it.

818
00:45:45,451 --> 00:45:49,570
Now, John isn't speaking very much,
so perhaps he thinks he's better than us.

819
00:45:50,039 --> 00:45:51,905
So, John, do you want
to tell us about your drinking?

820
00:45:54,252 --> 00:45:55,959
- Oh.
- [REBA CLEARS THROAT]

821
00:45:57,046 --> 00:45:59,003
Is this... Do I say,
"John, I'm an alcoholic"?

822
00:45:59,090 --> 00:46:01,173
Just tell us about your drinking.

823
00:46:04,136 --> 00:46:05,217
Um...

824
00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:08,296
Well, I, um,

825
00:46:08,391 --> 00:46:11,930
I started drinking when I was, uh, 13.

826
00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:14,970
Um...

827
00:46:16,107 --> 00:46:20,477
I stole a bottle of gin from my Aunt Diane.

828
00:46:21,570 --> 00:46:24,358
And, um, I liked it.

829
00:46:25,241 --> 00:46:26,197
A lot.

830
00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:28,650
And I never stopped.

831
00:46:30,288 --> 00:46:31,199
[DONNIE] Okay.

832
00:46:31,831 --> 00:46:33,538
[JOHN] Um, yeah...

833
00:46:35,459 --> 00:46:36,575
Keep going.

834
00:46:37,586 --> 00:46:40,454
I mean, I kept drinking, I guess,

835
00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:45,797
maybe because I was adopted. I was adopted.

836
00:46:46,178 --> 00:46:47,294
And, um,

837
00:46:48,556 --> 00:46:52,266
maybe it made me not care as much about that.

838
00:46:53,561 --> 00:46:54,472
Or...

839
00:46:55,396 --> 00:46:56,307
Yeah.

840
00:46:57,064 --> 00:46:58,555
I don't, I don't really know.

841
00:47:00,067 --> 00:47:01,979
- Yeah...
- Corky drank 'cause her name is Corky.

842
00:47:02,069 --> 00:47:03,150
[LAUGHS]

843
00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:05,399
[LAUGHTER]

844
00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:07,355
I drank 'cause my shoes were too tight.

845
00:47:07,450 --> 00:47:09,658
- [LAUGHTER]
- [JOHN] You know,

846
00:47:09,744 --> 00:47:11,576
I'm glad you find this amusing.

847
00:47:11,871 --> 00:47:15,080
John, what we're trying to point out
is that we all have excuses.

848
00:47:15,708 --> 00:47:20,169
I resent you characterizing
such a painful part of my childhood,

849
00:47:20,546 --> 00:47:22,788
such as being an orphan, as an excuse.

850
00:47:24,508 --> 00:47:28,843
[CHUCKLES] I mean,
it is a fact, among others.

851
00:47:28,929 --> 00:47:32,422
Like, for instance, I can't move
one fucking muscle below my chest.

852
00:47:32,516 --> 00:47:34,633
- [LAUGHTER]
- Would that qualify as an excuse?

853
00:47:34,727 --> 00:47:37,970
- What are you laughing at?
- We were waiting for that.

854
00:47:38,064 --> 00:47:40,056
We just knew you were gonna
say that, that's all.

855
00:47:40,149 --> 00:47:41,890
- You fucking cow!
- Oh.

856
00:47:41,984 --> 00:47:44,852
You wouldn't know pain if it crawled up
your fucking ass and devoured you!

857
00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:46,186
How dare you!

858
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,488
I'm sorry. [LAUGHS] Well...

859
00:47:48,991 --> 00:47:49,822
[REBA CLEARS THROAT]

860
00:47:49,909 --> 00:47:53,619
As a matter of fact,
I have cancer of the heart.

861
00:47:56,999 --> 00:48:00,788
And just let me tell you something
about your "poor me"s, okay?

862
00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:04,667
You keep it up, "poor me, poor me,"
and you're gonna find yourself saying,

863
00:48:04,757 --> 00:48:06,498
- "Pour me another drink."
- [MARTINGALE] Mm.

864
00:48:07,426 --> 00:48:08,462
[REBA] And for the record,

865
00:48:08,886 --> 00:48:12,971
when I first came here,
I was a fat, worthless cow.

866
00:48:13,057 --> 00:48:14,514
But I worked these 12 steps,

867
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,808
and I carved out a little bit
of a life for myself.

868
00:48:17,353 --> 00:48:18,719
I'm sorry, Reba.

869
00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:22,059
I'm sorry, everybody.

870
00:48:22,149 --> 00:48:23,890
- It's okay.
- It's expected.

871
00:48:23,984 --> 00:48:27,022
[REBA] It's okay, John. [LAUGHS]

872
00:48:27,113 --> 00:48:29,150
You're right on schedule, sweetheart.

873
00:48:30,282 --> 00:48:32,399
And I'm glad you're here.
I want to tell you that.

874
00:48:33,077 --> 00:48:34,443
- [JOHN] Thank you.
- [REBA] I'm glad you're here.

875
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,201
I like you guys.

876
00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:45,746
- [REBA LAUGHS]
- You're fucking crazy.

877
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:47,706
[LAUGHTER]

878
00:48:49,218 --> 00:48:51,505
- [MIKE] We like you, too, man.
- [REBA CLEARS THROAT]

879
00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:53,461
Well, wait till you get to know me.

880
00:48:53,556 --> 00:48:55,468
[INDISTINCT]

881
00:49:39,226 --> 00:49:40,137
Hey, bro.

882
00:49:41,103 --> 00:49:42,435
Shot of that wine?

883
00:49:43,439 --> 00:49:46,352
Goddamn it, I haven't even had
my first fucking drink.

884
00:49:46,442 --> 00:49:48,650
There's one in my right shirt pocket here.

885
00:49:48,736 --> 00:49:50,978
The jacket here. Go get it.
It's another quart.

886
00:50:04,585 --> 00:50:06,542
[KATZ] Okay, great. Thanks, now.

887
00:50:07,963 --> 00:50:09,625
Mr. Katz will see you.

888
00:50:10,216 --> 00:50:11,206
Oh, thank you.

889
00:50:20,518 --> 00:50:21,884
Afternoon.

890
00:50:21,977 --> 00:50:22,967
Good afternoon.

891
00:50:23,771 --> 00:50:25,512
Thanks so much for taking the time to see me.

892
00:50:25,606 --> 00:50:26,596
Not at all.

893
00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:29,937
- What can I do for you?
- My name is John Callahan.

894
00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:33,111
I was born in 1950
at the old Saint Vincent's Hospital.

895
00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:35,776
I know three things about my real mother:

896
00:50:36,283 --> 00:50:39,196
she was Irish-American, she had red hair,

897
00:50:39,286 --> 00:50:40,743
- she was a school teacher.
- Mm-hmm.

898
00:50:40,829 --> 00:50:42,991
Oh, yeah. And she didn't want me.

899
00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:45,073
[LAUGHS] So, four things.

900
00:50:45,709 --> 00:50:47,826
Anyway, I was hoping
you could help me find her.

901
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:52,506
I made this sketch of what
I think she might look like.

902
00:50:53,175 --> 00:50:54,382
Maybe it'll help you out.

903
00:50:59,598 --> 00:51:00,509
[KATZ] It's very nice.

904
00:51:01,016 --> 00:51:01,881
Callahan.

905
00:51:01,976 --> 00:51:03,012
Yeah, John.

906
00:51:03,644 --> 00:51:05,010
Old Saint Vincent's Hospital.

907
00:51:06,355 --> 00:51:08,517
Well... let's see.

908
00:51:17,283 --> 00:51:18,490
That's really my file?

909
00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:20,033
All right. This is the one.

910
00:51:20,119 --> 00:51:21,200
That's it? Let me look at it.

911
00:51:21,620 --> 00:51:22,952
How about we go back over there?

912
00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:26,702
All right.

913
00:51:34,842 --> 00:51:36,003
What's it say?

914
00:51:37,386 --> 00:51:38,342
[KATZ] Uh...

915
00:51:39,346 --> 00:51:41,303
Well, Mr. Callahan, there's little I can do.

916
00:51:42,308 --> 00:51:44,220
Wait. No, you saw something.

917
00:51:44,310 --> 00:51:46,017
- Mr. Callahan. Mr. Callahan.
- What's in there? What'd you...

918
00:51:46,103 --> 00:51:47,514
The State of Oregon has a law.

919
00:51:47,605 --> 00:51:49,346
Forget the State of Oregon, man. Come on.

920
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:50,931
Mr. Callahan, I could lose my job.

921
00:51:51,025 --> 00:51:53,358
- There's just nothing I can do.
- Wait, what does that say?

922
00:51:53,777 --> 00:51:55,985
Is that... is that "Maggie Lynch"?

923
00:51:56,071 --> 00:51:57,437
- I can't say, Mr. Callahan.
- Is that her name?

924
00:51:57,531 --> 00:51:58,863
- Maggie Lynch?
- Mr. Callahan, I can't say.

925
00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:00,861
What do you mean you can't say?
It's written down right there.

926
00:52:00,951 --> 00:52:02,533
I just saw it.
Is that her name, Maggie Lynch?

927
00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:05,078
Mr. Callahan, I am not gonna lose my job.

928
00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:06,325
Screw your job, man.

929
00:52:06,415 --> 00:52:09,533
You've probably been sitting behind
this desk for 25 fucking years.

930
00:52:09,627 --> 00:52:10,913
- Get out.
- [JOHN] You have a miserable life.

931
00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:11,834
- Be a man!
- Get out.

932
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:13,627
Aw, go fuck yourself.

933
00:52:30,606 --> 00:52:32,973
Maybe it's your battery
or a connection or something.

934
00:52:34,610 --> 00:52:35,521
There you are.

935
00:52:36,528 --> 00:52:38,315
- Could you spare a quarter?
- Yeah.

936
00:52:38,405 --> 00:52:41,273
- Two-three-four...
- [DIALING]

937
00:52:41,367 --> 00:52:42,903
Two-four-five-nine.

938
00:52:44,870 --> 00:52:45,781
Here you go.

939
00:52:46,747 --> 00:52:47,954
- [LINE RINGING]
- Thank you, sir.

940
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:48,951
You bet.

941
00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:51,241
[WOMAN OVER PHONE]
Disability Resource Center.

942
00:52:51,335 --> 00:52:52,701
Hey, it's John.

943
00:52:53,045 --> 00:52:54,081
Just a moment.

944
00:52:54,171 --> 00:52:55,457
[PHONE RINGS]

945
00:52:55,547 --> 00:52:56,583
This is Suzanne.

946
00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:59,499
Hey, Suzanne. It's John.

947
00:53:00,928 --> 00:53:03,841
My chair broke down.
Could somebody come down here to help me?

948
00:53:03,931 --> 00:53:04,762
John?

949
00:53:04,848 --> 00:53:08,216
John, this is the third time
in a couple of months this has happened.

950
00:53:08,310 --> 00:53:11,348
You know, we have cutbacks
ever since the new president came in.

951
00:53:11,438 --> 00:53:13,521
- We have our own problems.
- Oh, please don't start.

952
00:53:14,274 --> 00:53:16,231
Please don't start. Suzanne...

953
00:53:16,318 --> 00:53:18,605
John, I'm sorry, I do not make the rules.

954
00:53:19,446 --> 00:53:21,062
What did I do to you?

955
00:53:21,156 --> 00:53:23,148
What did I do to piss you off so much?

956
00:53:23,242 --> 00:53:24,608
- Why you gotta treat me like this?
- You know,

957
00:53:24,702 --> 00:53:26,989
I hear you're putting
a lot more mileage on that wheelchair

958
00:53:27,079 --> 00:53:28,115
than the average quadriplegic.

959
00:53:28,205 --> 00:53:32,700
Yeah, because I'm an active worker!
I'm not a fucking nursing home vegetable!

960
00:53:32,793 --> 00:53:35,331
So I'm just asking
for a little bit of goddamn help!

961
00:53:35,754 --> 00:53:36,710
- Take care, John.
- Suzanne,

962
00:53:36,797 --> 00:53:38,959
please, please, I fucking beg you.

963
00:53:39,049 --> 00:53:41,462
- I ask for forgiveness!
- Take care of yourself, please.

964
00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:42,668
Please, please!

965
00:53:44,346 --> 00:53:45,257
[EXHALES]

966
00:53:54,064 --> 00:53:58,604
[DONNIE] One of the objectives of group
is to provoke a new awareness to unwanted

967
00:53:58,694 --> 00:54:02,563
or unnecessary emotional problems
that we sit with.

968
00:54:03,407 --> 00:54:07,117
And left unprovoked,
we sit alone with these problems,

969
00:54:07,202 --> 00:54:08,738
and they can fester into...

970
00:54:09,371 --> 00:54:12,614
drinking habits, drug habits, gambling.

971
00:54:13,333 --> 00:54:14,494
Other bad habits.

972
00:54:15,210 --> 00:54:16,951
What are "other bad habits"?

973
00:54:17,546 --> 00:54:19,003
I mean, it could be anything.

974
00:54:19,089 --> 00:54:22,708
It could be hoarding, bank robbing, suicide.

975
00:54:22,801 --> 00:54:24,133
It happens, amiga.

976
00:54:24,219 --> 00:54:25,300
Mike.

977
00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:27,924
Why don't you tell us your story.

978
00:54:28,724 --> 00:54:30,590
Talk about your employment;
start from the beginning.

979
00:54:30,684 --> 00:54:31,765
What was the name of the company?

980
00:54:32,060 --> 00:54:33,050
Uh...

981
00:54:33,812 --> 00:54:36,680
Burnside Exploratory Systems Technology.

982
00:54:36,774 --> 00:54:38,310
And we called it BEST for short.

983
00:54:38,776 --> 00:54:40,358
[SIGHS] I, uh...

984
00:54:40,861 --> 00:54:43,194
had an administrator there
I didn't care for very much.

985
00:54:44,656 --> 00:54:46,272
Wants a war going on, and she didn't care

986
00:54:46,366 --> 00:54:48,278
whether we were winning or losing
when I worked there,

987
00:54:48,368 --> 00:54:49,904
and we were handed a lot of bullshit.

988
00:54:49,995 --> 00:54:51,406
Slow down, Mike. Y-You...

989
00:54:51,497 --> 00:54:53,955
- "She," meaning your administrator?
- Yeah.

990
00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:56,165
Yeah, and she...

991
00:54:57,377 --> 00:55:00,495
would just keep to herself up in her cubicle.

992
00:55:01,173 --> 00:55:03,790
Then we'd hear her prerecorded voice
come over the loudspeaker.

993
00:55:04,843 --> 00:55:07,802
Can you tell us a little bit
about this administrator?

994
00:55:07,888 --> 00:55:08,719
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.

995
00:55:08,806 --> 00:55:12,516
Yeah, well, first the sentry
in our, uh, attack unit was...

996
00:55:13,018 --> 00:55:14,384
[SIGHS] Uh, fuck.

997
00:55:16,146 --> 00:55:17,603
I'm sorry, Donnie, can we, uh...

998
00:55:17,689 --> 00:55:19,146
can we talk about something else?

999
00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:20,598
No.

1000
00:55:20,692 --> 00:55:22,149
How did she make you feel?

1001
00:55:22,694 --> 00:55:23,935
Well, we were like family.

1002
00:55:24,029 --> 00:55:26,191
You know, you spend enough time
with your family, you...

1003
00:55:27,574 --> 00:55:29,816
end up wanting to strangle your mom,
you know?

1004
00:55:30,244 --> 00:55:31,485
[CORKY] May I ask something?

1005
00:55:31,578 --> 00:55:32,568
[DONNIE] Go ahead, Corky.

1006
00:55:32,663 --> 00:55:34,905
Were there any women in your operation?

1007
00:55:35,958 --> 00:55:36,869
Yeah.

1008
00:55:37,459 --> 00:55:39,451
The administrator, but we never saw her.

1009
00:55:40,879 --> 00:55:44,498
I'm curious why there's a lack of women
in your stories.

1010
00:55:44,967 --> 00:55:47,801
In your childhood, growing up,

1011
00:55:48,428 --> 00:55:49,635
in your company.

1012
00:55:50,889 --> 00:55:53,848
There must have been women
in your command unit.

1013
00:55:57,688 --> 00:55:59,224
[MIKE] Because women
can't handle it over there!

1014
00:55:59,314 --> 00:56:01,021
- [DONNIE] Hey! Hey!
- Okay? Let me tell you,

1015
00:56:01,108 --> 00:56:02,440
- neither of you would've
- Hey!

1016
00:56:02,526 --> 00:56:04,358
- lasted two fucking seconds over there!
- Hey!

1017
00:56:04,444 --> 00:56:07,733
- Mike, hey! Hey.
- [MARTINGALE] Mike. Mike.

1018
00:56:07,823 --> 00:56:08,984
- This is group.
- [MIKE] Yeah.

1019
00:56:09,074 --> 00:56:12,567
Martingale, sit down. Mike, sit down,
or you'll be thrown out of the group.

1020
00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:14,110
[GROANS]

1021
00:56:15,122 --> 00:56:16,033
I'm sorry.

1022
00:56:16,665 --> 00:56:18,748
- [TIM] You all take this so seriously.
- I'm sorry, Donnie.

1023
00:56:18,834 --> 00:56:21,292
If you just went down
to Saint Luke's Church on Sunday services,

1024
00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:24,837
I'm pretty sure you'd be able to find
the salvation that you're looking for.

1025
00:56:24,923 --> 00:56:27,506
Tim, you are very fucking cute.

1026
00:56:27,593 --> 00:56:30,427
Now shut the fuck up,
'cause no one asked you, okay?

1027
00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:32,966
Everyone, breathe.

1028
00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:35,048
Mike, you okay?

1029
00:56:36,852 --> 00:56:40,352
Tim, you think you can pull my pants down so
I don't have to speak through my fucking fly?

1030
00:56:43,150 --> 00:56:44,140
[TIM SIGHS]

1031
00:56:45,235 --> 00:56:46,646
[THUNDER RUMBLING SOFTLY]

1032
00:56:46,737 --> 00:56:47,853
[SIGHS] There you go, buddy.

1033
00:56:50,574 --> 00:56:51,985
[DOOR OPENS]

1034
00:56:54,202 --> 00:56:56,068
- Hey, you forgot to open the bottle!
- [DOOR CLOSES]

1035
00:56:56,163 --> 00:56:57,779
- Tim!
- [LOCK CLICKS]

1036
00:56:57,873 --> 00:56:59,489
Don't lock the door! Tim!

1037
00:57:03,045 --> 00:57:04,456
[CHUCKLES]

1038
00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:13,003
Oh, fuck.

1039
00:57:15,599 --> 00:57:17,261
Bet you could open this bottle, Snickers.

1040
00:57:17,351 --> 00:57:18,842
- [MOUSE SQUEAKS]
- Fuck.

1041
00:57:20,354 --> 00:57:22,061
[GASPS] No!

1042
00:57:25,233 --> 00:57:26,144
Oh, fuck.

1043
00:57:45,212 --> 00:57:46,419
[GROANING SOFTLY]

1044
00:57:47,130 --> 00:57:49,338
[QUIETLY] Fuck. Fuck.

1045
00:57:53,637 --> 00:57:55,674
[GRUNTS] Fuck!

1046
00:58:23,291 --> 00:58:24,532
[GROANS] Oh.

1047
00:58:30,215 --> 00:58:32,377
Oh, God, you son of a bitch.

1048
00:58:36,513 --> 00:58:37,674
[SIGHS]

1049
00:59:16,803 --> 00:59:18,135
[SOBS]

1050
00:59:19,014 --> 00:59:21,597
[WHISPERS] Please, please, please...

1051
01:00:09,773 --> 01:00:10,980
Snickers!

1052
01:00:14,402 --> 01:00:16,143
[SQUEAKING]

1053
01:00:28,125 --> 01:00:29,241
[WHISPERS] Mom.

1054
01:00:36,133 --> 01:00:37,419
Where are you?

1055
01:00:40,095 --> 01:00:41,506
You fucker.

1056
01:00:42,264 --> 01:00:43,596
You tart.

1057
01:00:48,270 --> 01:00:50,136
You left me here.

1058
01:00:53,066 --> 01:00:54,523
[VOICE BREAKS] I'm a cripple.

1059
01:00:58,155 --> 01:01:00,522
[SOBS] Where are you?

1060
01:01:19,509 --> 01:01:21,717
You are a good person, John.

1061
01:01:25,098 --> 01:01:26,589
You can help yourself.

1062
01:01:27,893 --> 01:01:29,725
You can stop drinking,

1063
01:01:29,811 --> 01:01:33,475
and you can become happy and healthy.

1064
01:01:34,316 --> 01:01:35,898
I know you're calling for me.

1065
01:01:37,194 --> 01:01:38,275
I love you.

1066
01:01:42,866 --> 01:01:44,823
Just please don't call me a tart.

1067
01:01:45,327 --> 01:01:46,363
[LAUGHS]

1068
01:01:49,497 --> 01:01:51,204
[MOUSE SQUEAKING]

1069
01:01:53,627 --> 01:01:55,539
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

1070
01:01:57,422 --> 01:01:58,412
Hi, Tim.

1071
01:02:00,634 --> 01:02:01,624
Something...

1072
01:02:02,636 --> 01:02:05,504
really profound just happened to me, man.

1073
01:02:07,641 --> 01:02:08,802
[TIM] Yeah, that's, uh...

1074
01:02:10,185 --> 01:02:11,096
that's great.

1075
01:02:11,561 --> 01:02:13,348
[WHISPERS] I don't think
I'm gonna drink anymore.

1076
01:02:13,772 --> 01:02:15,354
You mind if I have some of these cookies?

1077
01:02:19,194 --> 01:02:20,105
Can I?

1078
01:02:20,445 --> 01:02:21,356
Yeah, man.

1079
01:02:21,446 --> 01:02:22,937
- Knock yourself out.
- Thank you.

1080
01:02:23,448 --> 01:02:25,155
What the fuck happened in here? It's a wreck.

1081
01:02:25,700 --> 01:02:26,611
What... where's Snickers?

1082
01:02:26,701 --> 01:02:29,489
I mean, there's really no reason
why you should believe me.

1083
01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:32,454
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

1084
01:02:33,375 --> 01:02:35,037
Donnie, why do you call them piglets?

1085
01:02:35,418 --> 01:02:37,330
'Cause I'm a triple Aries, Callahan.

1086
01:02:38,630 --> 01:02:39,962
And 'cause they let me.

1087
01:02:42,384 --> 01:02:43,340
See you.

1088
01:02:43,426 --> 01:02:47,170
And 'cause a piglet is a small,
timid animal who tries to be brave

1089
01:02:47,264 --> 01:02:49,096
and occasionally conquers his fears.

1090
01:02:50,016 --> 01:02:51,507
Look, there's just four things:

1091
01:02:51,935 --> 01:02:54,643
Keep going to meetings.
Read this book I'm giving you.

1092
01:02:54,729 --> 01:02:55,560
Don't drink.

1093
01:02:55,647 --> 01:02:58,105
And if you think you're gonna drink,
call me first, never after.

1094
01:03:41,568 --> 01:03:42,854
[INSTRUCTOR] Last two weeks,

1095
01:03:42,944 --> 01:03:46,233
we were talking about art and craft.

1096
01:03:47,324 --> 01:03:50,237
All art has craft. All craft has art.

1097
01:03:51,202 --> 01:03:54,695
But craft seeks full perfection.

1098
01:03:55,790 --> 01:03:57,372
And art seeks full expression.

1099
01:03:58,460 --> 01:03:59,371
That's why...

1100
01:04:00,378 --> 01:04:04,213
the craftsman's job is
every time always the same.

1101
01:04:04,591 --> 01:04:06,173
Repeat every time.

1102
01:04:08,636 --> 01:04:11,925
That's why we don't have two Mona Lisa.

1103
01:04:14,851 --> 01:04:16,467
And Mona Lisa, by the way,

1104
01:04:17,270 --> 01:04:19,808
one can say is a controlled accident.

1105
01:04:20,357 --> 01:04:22,770
[JOHN] While working through
the steps of the fellowship,

1106
01:04:22,859 --> 01:04:26,523
I began to feel a huge rush of energy.

1107
01:04:27,238 --> 01:04:30,151
I suddenly realized that I had been,

1108
01:04:30,617 --> 01:04:35,408
or should have been,
a cartoonist, a gagman, all along.

1109
01:04:54,557 --> 01:04:55,468
[LAUGHS]

1110
01:05:19,124 --> 01:05:20,581
[LAUGHS]

1111
01:05:38,351 --> 01:05:40,092
[JOHN CHUCKLING SOFTLY]

1112
01:05:47,402 --> 01:05:48,609
- Here you go.
- Thanks.

1113
01:06:22,020 --> 01:06:25,764
I refer to my higher power as Chucky,
when the word "God" doesn't suffice.

1114
01:06:26,441 --> 01:06:28,603
You know, like the character
from the horror movie.

1115
01:06:29,319 --> 01:06:33,529
Not because I'm terrified of my higher power.

1116
01:06:33,615 --> 01:06:38,906
It's 'cause I find
my higher power is unpredictable.

1117
01:06:39,496 --> 01:06:42,580
The thing for you to grasp,
my little piglets,

1118
01:06:42,665 --> 01:06:45,123
is that we don't control the universe.

1119
01:06:45,210 --> 01:06:48,544
And, in fact, it will go on in our absence.

1120
01:06:49,130 --> 01:06:50,621
We can't ask for help

1121
01:06:50,715 --> 01:06:52,923
if we don't think there's
anyone out there to give it.

1122
01:06:53,009 --> 01:06:55,342
You have to grasp this concept.

1123
01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:59,005
And that doesn't have to be
fucking Jesus Christ

1124
01:06:59,098 --> 01:07:01,181
or Buddha or Vanna White.

1125
01:07:01,267 --> 01:07:04,135
So, can I choose the genitalia
of Raquel Welch?

1126
01:07:04,729 --> 01:07:06,937
I would advise against that, Callahan.

1127
01:07:07,023 --> 01:07:07,934
Why?

1128
01:07:08,358 --> 01:07:09,940
'Cause it's not a fucking joke.

1129
01:07:10,860 --> 01:07:15,571
If you can't look outside yourself, and you
can't find a higher power, you're fucked.

1130
01:07:17,992 --> 01:07:19,073
- [DONNIE] Yeah.
- Thanks, Donnie.

1131
01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:20,241
- Of course.
- See you, John.

1132
01:07:20,995 --> 01:07:22,361
- Bye, John.
- Bye, Hans.

1133
01:07:23,665 --> 01:07:25,907
[DONNIE] Beat yourself with a feather,
not a bat.

1134
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:27,116
[SIGHS]

1135
01:07:28,044 --> 01:07:29,455
[TIM] Be outside. I'm gonna have a smoke.

1136
01:07:31,506 --> 01:07:34,465
[DONNIE] Don't linger too long on belief.
Just jump in, do the work.

1137
01:07:34,551 --> 01:07:36,417
Trust God. Clean house.

1138
01:07:37,595 --> 01:07:38,506
Take this book.

1139
01:07:39,889 --> 01:07:41,846
Lao-Tzu. Check it out.

1140
01:07:43,059 --> 01:07:45,472
There's some valuable proverbs in there.

1141
01:07:47,939 --> 01:07:48,850
Okay.

1142
01:07:50,233 --> 01:07:52,520
Um, you need any information?

1143
01:07:52,610 --> 01:07:55,068
Yeah, can you take a look
at this cartoon for me?

1144
01:07:55,154 --> 01:07:56,941
- Give me your thoughts.
- Yeah, let me...

1145
01:07:57,699 --> 01:07:59,361
Let's see.

1146
01:08:00,952 --> 01:08:02,033
[READING UNDER BREATH]

1147
01:08:04,205 --> 01:08:05,036
[JOHN] Mm.

1148
01:08:05,123 --> 01:08:07,115
- It's pretty good. Pretty...
- I can tell you don't like it.

1149
01:08:07,208 --> 01:08:08,324
Here, look at another one?

1150
01:08:10,295 --> 01:08:11,126
[CLEARS THROAT]

1151
01:08:11,212 --> 01:08:12,373
Let's see.

1152
01:08:21,514 --> 01:08:22,470
- [CHUCKLES]
- You like that.

1153
01:08:22,557 --> 01:08:24,014
- [LAUGHS] Yeah.
- Okay.

1154
01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:25,307
That's good. [LAUGHS]

1155
01:08:25,393 --> 01:08:27,350
- Yeah, that's one of my favorites.
- [LAUGHS] Yeah.

1156
01:08:27,437 --> 01:08:29,269
- Aw, thank you.
- Very good. [LAUGHS]

1157
01:08:30,523 --> 01:08:32,014
Hey. Annu?

1158
01:08:34,611 --> 01:08:36,147
- John?
- Is that you?

1159
01:08:37,488 --> 01:08:38,399
[LAUGHS]

1160
01:08:39,365 --> 01:08:40,981
Look at you.

1161
01:08:41,075 --> 01:08:42,987
You're looking very handsome.

1162
01:08:43,077 --> 01:08:44,158
[JOHN] Oh.

1163
01:08:44,245 --> 01:08:46,032
- [STAMMERS]
- How have you been?

1164
01:08:46,623 --> 01:08:47,955
Good. I mean...

1165
01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:49,532
[EXHALES] God, you look beautiful.

1166
01:08:49,626 --> 01:08:50,867
- [LAUGHS]
- What-what is this?

1167
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,623
Oh, I have a new job now.
I work for Air Scandinavia.

1168
01:08:53,713 --> 01:08:56,205
- Wow, "Air Scandi-nah-via."
- [CHUCKLES]

1169
01:08:57,008 --> 01:08:57,919
Really something.

1170
01:08:58,009 --> 01:08:59,295
- [LAUGHS] Yeah?
- Yeah.

1171
01:08:59,385 --> 01:09:01,593
I was promoted. I'm group captain now.

1172
01:09:01,679 --> 01:09:03,170
- Group captain.
- Mm.

1173
01:09:03,514 --> 01:09:06,006
Wow, yeah, so you're just up in, uh,
first class

1174
01:09:06,100 --> 01:09:08,057
- with all the hot businessmen?
- Yeah.

1175
01:09:08,144 --> 01:09:09,601
- Yeah.
- But I don't really like them.

1176
01:09:09,687 --> 01:09:12,805
Are... are you... are you flying out?
Are you in town for a while?

1177
01:09:12,899 --> 01:09:15,141
Do you... do you want to...
get something to eat?

1178
01:09:15,234 --> 01:09:16,645
Yeah, I'm on layover.

1179
01:09:16,736 --> 01:09:18,147
- Really?
- That'd be really nice.

1180
01:09:18,237 --> 01:09:20,729
Yeah, well, let's find a place to,
you know...

1181
01:09:22,784 --> 01:09:23,991
"layover."

1182
01:09:25,953 --> 01:09:29,321
[ANNU] "Let me put it this way,
don't buy any hacky sack balls."

1183
01:09:30,249 --> 01:09:31,706
[CHUCKLES] That's really funny.

1184
01:09:31,793 --> 01:09:33,079
- It's you. Yeah?
- Yeah.

1185
01:09:33,169 --> 01:09:34,956
Wait, are you... you...
you really think it's funny?

1186
01:09:35,588 --> 01:09:36,999
- You sure?
- Yeah.

1187
01:10:11,624 --> 01:10:13,081
[ANNU PANTING, MOANING]

1188
01:10:13,167 --> 01:10:14,829
I'm gonna, I'm gonna come.

1189
01:10:17,213 --> 01:10:18,579
I'm coming!

1190
01:10:18,673 --> 01:10:20,665
- I'm coming! [MOANING]
- Oh, Jesus!

1191
01:10:20,758 --> 01:10:22,624
- Oh! Jesus Christ! John, I'm...
- [JOHN AND ANNU LAUGHING]

1192
01:10:22,719 --> 01:10:25,427
I'm so sorry. John, I am so sorry.

1193
01:10:25,513 --> 01:10:27,129
[ANNU LAUGHING]

1194
01:10:29,225 --> 01:10:32,593
You have to promise
that Tim will walk in to serve breakfast

1195
01:10:32,687 --> 01:10:34,053
at the same time every morning.

1196
01:10:35,148 --> 01:10:35,979
[WHISPERS] Okay.

1197
01:10:36,065 --> 01:10:38,022
[JET ENGINE ROARING IN DISTANCE]

1198
01:11:27,867 --> 01:11:29,904
Donnie, I see gymnasts in the park.

1199
01:11:29,994 --> 01:11:34,409
Mm. Maybe they're preparing
for the Olympics next year.

1200
01:11:34,499 --> 01:11:36,491
I'm fucking serious.

1201
01:11:36,584 --> 01:11:39,122
I've been seeing them
since my physical recovery.

1202
01:11:39,212 --> 01:11:42,330
Oh, maybe they're manifestations
of your sobriety,

1203
01:11:42,423 --> 01:11:44,710
if you first saw them in the emergency ward.

1204
01:11:44,801 --> 01:11:47,168
Maybe they're sticking around
to get what they want.

1205
01:11:47,261 --> 01:11:49,378
Well, what the fuck do they want?

1206
01:11:50,014 --> 01:11:51,550
For you to come with them.

1207
01:11:51,641 --> 01:11:54,224
Yeah. Where to?

1208
01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:57,512
'Cause they're waving to me, you know?

1209
01:11:57,605 --> 01:11:59,642
To the big park in the sky.

1210
01:12:00,107 --> 01:12:01,973
They could be calling from the other side.

1211
01:12:02,068 --> 01:12:03,934
Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

1212
01:12:04,904 --> 01:12:06,691
I don't want to go to the park in the sky.

1213
01:12:06,781 --> 01:12:09,524
Callahan, don't obsess over the gymnasts.

1214
01:12:10,117 --> 01:12:12,905
Go to meetings, don't drink, read the book.

1215
01:12:12,995 --> 01:12:14,827
That's all you have to focus on.

1216
01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:16,738
And you have to work on the second step.

1217
01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:19,166
Like, you have to believe
that a power greater than yourself

1218
01:12:19,252 --> 01:12:20,459
can restore you to sanity.

1219
01:12:20,545 --> 01:12:21,501
[EXHALES]

1220
01:12:22,672 --> 01:12:26,507
[SIGHS] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[WHISPERS] I know, I know, I know.

1221
01:12:26,592 --> 01:12:30,336
And besides, how are you gonna
do gymnastics anyway, Callahan?

1222
01:12:30,429 --> 01:12:33,263
[BOTH LAUGHING]

1223
01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:35,056
- Honestly.
- Oh, that's so funny.

1224
01:12:35,142 --> 01:12:39,102
Oh, tomorrow I fly to New York City
to get my boogie on.

1225
01:12:39,438 --> 01:12:42,181
Yeah, good for you, man. You deserve it.

1226
01:12:42,275 --> 01:12:43,356
Thank you.

1227
01:12:43,860 --> 01:12:45,817
So, will I be able to reach you, though?

1228
01:12:46,737 --> 01:12:48,729
[QUIET LAUGHTER]

1229
01:12:51,826 --> 01:12:52,816
You drew this?

1230
01:12:52,910 --> 01:12:54,367
Yeah. Oh, which one's that? I mean, yeah,

1231
01:12:54,453 --> 01:12:56,820
I drew 'em all, but...
Oh, yeah. That's my dad.

1232
01:12:56,914 --> 01:12:58,280
[LAUGHTER]

1233
01:12:59,041 --> 01:13:00,907
This is good stuff, man.
This is really great.

1234
01:13:01,002 --> 01:13:02,538
[LAUGHTER]

1235
01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:04,411
So...

1236
01:13:04,505 --> 01:13:06,622
You got it, man.
We'd like to give you a panel.

1237
01:13:06,716 --> 01:13:07,627
Really?

1238
01:13:08,634 --> 01:13:11,627
[CAMERA CLICKS]

1239
01:13:16,642 --> 01:13:18,634
Hey, Officer, take a look at this.

1240
01:13:23,774 --> 01:13:24,730
[OFFICER] Very nice.

1241
01:13:24,817 --> 01:13:27,400
Very nice, right? Thank you.

1242
01:13:27,486 --> 01:13:29,819
- Hey.
- [WOMAN] Hey, John. How are you, hon?

1243
01:13:29,906 --> 01:13:31,363
Really good. Take a look at this.

1244
01:13:31,449 --> 01:13:32,360
What you got?

1245
01:13:34,702 --> 01:13:37,570
Oh, hon. Lisa, look-it,
John's in the Vanguard.

1246
01:13:40,249 --> 01:13:41,239
[WOMAN] Hmm.

1247
01:13:42,209 --> 01:13:43,120
[WOMAN CHUCKLES]

1248
01:13:44,378 --> 01:13:46,461
- Thank you.
- I like the shading.

1249
01:13:47,965 --> 01:13:48,921
Okay.

1250
01:13:49,342 --> 01:13:51,459
You want to see? Look, puppy, look at that.

1251
01:13:51,552 --> 01:13:52,588
- You drew that?
- Yeah.

1252
01:13:58,100 --> 01:13:59,011
That's offensive.

1253
01:13:59,852 --> 01:14:00,842
Offensive?

1254
01:14:04,982 --> 01:14:06,814
Hey, some fellow artists.

1255
01:14:06,901 --> 01:14:08,984
Check this out. Look at this.

1256
01:14:09,070 --> 01:14:11,562
No, I'm not trying to sell you anything.
I just want you to look at...

1257
01:14:12,239 --> 01:14:15,073
They published my cartoon, you fuckers!

1258
01:14:15,159 --> 01:14:17,151
["Shake Your Groove Thing"
by Peaches & Herb playing]

1259
01:14:19,121 --> 01:14:21,329
# Shake it, shake it #

1260
01:14:26,587 --> 01:14:28,670
# Shake it, shake it #

1261
01:14:29,131 --> 01:14:30,542
# Groovin' loose #

1262
01:14:30,633 --> 01:14:32,499
# Or heart to heart #

1263
01:14:32,593 --> 01:14:35,586
# We put in motion every single part #

1264
01:14:36,514 --> 01:14:39,598
# Funky sounds, wall to wall #

1265
01:14:40,017 --> 01:14:43,761
# We're bumpin' booties,
Having us a ball, y'all #

1266
01:14:43,854 --> 01:14:45,436
- # Shake your groove thing #
- [PHONE RINGING]

1267
01:14:45,523 --> 01:14:47,515
# Shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah... #

1268
01:14:49,235 --> 01:14:51,352
[CLEARS THROAT] Hello?

1269
01:14:51,821 --> 01:14:53,107
[JOHN] I just can't fucking do this.

1270
01:14:53,197 --> 01:14:55,314
I'm gonna kill Tim.
I'm gonna kill my attendant.

1271
01:14:56,200 --> 01:14:58,362
You know, Callahan, you can't ask for help

1272
01:14:58,452 --> 01:15:00,614
if you don't think there's
anyone out there to give it.

1273
01:15:00,705 --> 01:15:04,574
Yeah, I'm asking you for help, Donnie.
That's why I'm calling you.

1274
01:15:04,667 --> 01:15:05,703
Well, tough shit.

1275
01:15:05,793 --> 01:15:08,376
Donnie's on a plane
to New York City in half an hour.

1276
01:15:08,462 --> 01:15:09,998
And I'm not gonna be back till Monday.

1277
01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:13,377
There's this new gay disco
there called The Saint,

1278
01:15:13,467 --> 01:15:15,424
and I'm gonna be having the time of my life

1279
01:15:15,511 --> 01:15:17,924
with Howard Rosenman and Andy Warhol,
getting discovered...

1280
01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:21,098
I don't give a fuck
about your sex life, Donnie.

1281
01:15:21,183 --> 01:15:22,469
Tell me what to do.

1282
01:15:23,811 --> 01:15:25,268
What are the first three steps?

1283
01:15:25,604 --> 01:15:27,061
Donnie, come on.

1284
01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:28,351
That, one?

1285
01:15:30,151 --> 01:15:33,815
One, that I'm powerless over alcohol
and my life has become unmanageable.

1286
01:15:33,904 --> 01:15:36,487
Two, I came to believe that
a power greater than myself

1287
01:15:36,574 --> 01:15:37,610
can restore me to sanity.

1288
01:15:38,117 --> 01:15:40,484
And three, I made a decision
to turn my will and my life

1289
01:15:40,578 --> 01:15:42,740
over to the care of God, as I understand it.

1290
01:15:42,830 --> 01:15:44,196
So you believe you're powerless?

1291
01:15:45,666 --> 01:15:46,577
Yeah.

1292
01:15:46,667 --> 01:15:49,876
You believe that a higher power other
than yourself can restore you to sanity?

1293
01:15:50,171 --> 01:15:51,082
Yes.

1294
01:15:51,172 --> 01:15:52,834
And you made a decision
to turn your will and life

1295
01:15:52,923 --> 01:15:55,165
over to the care of God,
as you understand him,

1296
01:15:55,259 --> 01:15:57,216
in your case, Raquel Welch's snatch.

1297
01:15:57,303 --> 01:15:59,420
And remember, this is a choice
of higher power I don't approve of.

1298
01:15:59,930 --> 01:16:01,296
- Yes.
- Great.

1299
01:16:01,390 --> 01:16:04,098
Now, wouldn't you like to turn
this immediate problem over to Chucky?

1300
01:16:04,852 --> 01:16:05,763
Yes.

1301
01:16:06,145 --> 01:16:07,602
Don't you feel better already?

1302
01:16:11,567 --> 01:16:14,560
Okay, yeah, but, Donnie, you tricked me.

1303
01:16:14,653 --> 01:16:16,110
I know what you just did.

1304
01:16:16,197 --> 01:16:18,655
No, Callahan, no. Fuck.

1305
01:16:19,283 --> 01:16:20,649
Make a God basket.

1306
01:16:20,743 --> 01:16:22,700
Write your problems on paper,
crumple them up,

1307
01:16:22,787 --> 01:16:24,028
and throw them into the basket.

1308
01:16:24,580 --> 01:16:26,412
- Drink water.
- [LINE CLICKS]

1309
01:16:30,086 --> 01:16:32,829
"I'm afraid. Who will protect me?"

1310
01:16:42,223 --> 01:16:44,055
Tim. Tim?

1311
01:16:45,226 --> 01:16:46,182
Hey, man.

1312
01:16:46,268 --> 01:16:49,011
Can you pick up that piece of paper
and toss it in the God basket?

1313
01:16:56,529 --> 01:16:58,361
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1314
01:16:58,447 --> 01:17:00,279
Hey, you know, this is actually pretty fun.

1315
01:17:00,741 --> 01:17:04,951
John, as the editors
of the Portland State Vanguard,

1316
01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:07,996
some of us really enjoy your humor,

1317
01:17:08,082 --> 01:17:12,247
but some of us are worried
that things might have gone too far.

1318
01:17:13,546 --> 01:17:16,254
We have 55 letters here from the student body

1319
01:17:16,841 --> 01:17:18,798
complaining about your cartoons.

1320
01:17:18,884 --> 01:17:22,377
"Mr. Callahan, I am appalled
by your simplistic scribbling,

1321
01:17:22,471 --> 01:17:25,339
your misinformed ideas about humor,
and the audacity you have..."

1322
01:17:25,432 --> 01:17:28,140
- That's real?
- "to think the public enjoys your work."

1323
01:17:28,227 --> 01:17:30,059
Yes. It's from Woodburn, Oregon.

1324
01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:31,686
[ROGER] We have many of them.

1325
01:17:32,189 --> 01:17:33,521
All right, look, guys,

1326
01:17:33,607 --> 01:17:36,224
I know that people have
come by the editorial offices

1327
01:17:36,318 --> 01:17:37,900
to register complaints about me...

1328
01:17:37,987 --> 01:17:41,822
Christians, queers, teachers,
foreign nationals, janitors, lab rats

1329
01:17:41,907 --> 01:17:45,150
all find me offensive, which, uh, you know...

1330
01:17:46,078 --> 01:17:47,944
It's a good... Is it a good thing?

1331
01:17:48,038 --> 01:17:49,700
We have a small pile of threats.

1332
01:17:49,790 --> 01:17:51,952
[EDITOR] There's one here from
the Willamette Week.

1333
01:17:52,668 --> 01:17:54,250
- [JOHN SIGHS]
- John, this is, frankly, shocking.

1334
01:17:54,336 --> 01:17:57,795
What, the paper that
Gary Larson draws cartoons for?

1335
01:17:57,882 --> 01:18:03,048
Yes. And they would like to give you
your own series.

1336
01:18:03,137 --> 01:18:05,129
We think that's going too far. [CHUCKLES]

1337
01:18:05,222 --> 01:18:06,087
Are you serious?

1338
01:18:06,182 --> 01:18:07,923
- [LAUGHTER]
- Uh...

1339
01:18:08,017 --> 01:18:09,098
Can we get a mop? Can we get a mop?

1340
01:18:09,185 --> 01:18:10,141
- [JOHN] What happened?
- Oh.

1341
01:18:10,227 --> 01:18:12,014
- Grab a mop, please.
- Uh...

1342
01:18:12,646 --> 01:18:13,636
Mop?

1343
01:18:13,731 --> 01:18:15,768
Wait, well, don't do it with the...

1344
01:18:15,858 --> 01:18:18,100
- Don't put the urine in the picture.
- [EDITOR] Oh, yikes.

1345
01:18:18,194 --> 01:18:20,561
They're publishing your cartoon.
We're absolutely serious.

1346
01:18:20,654 --> 01:18:22,816
- I thought you guys were playing with me.
- No, no.

1347
01:18:24,450 --> 01:18:25,611
[JOHN] In the Funny pile.

1348
01:18:27,703 --> 01:18:28,614
No.

1349
01:18:31,916 --> 01:18:33,248
Put this one for Annu.

1350
01:18:38,339 --> 01:18:39,546
That's real funny.

1351
01:18:40,841 --> 01:18:42,833
[BIRDS CHIRPING]

1352
01:18:47,473 --> 01:18:48,680
Why do you call it Chucky?

1353
01:18:50,351 --> 01:18:51,341
Why not?

1354
01:18:53,187 --> 01:18:54,974
You know, the day I stopped drinking...

1355
01:18:55,814 --> 01:18:57,601
I felt a hand on my shoulder.

1356
01:18:58,817 --> 01:19:00,774
But when I turned to look at it, there was...

1357
01:19:01,737 --> 01:19:04,400
nothing there, but I didn't imagine it.

1358
01:19:07,952 --> 01:19:09,614
"Look at it, but you cannot see it.

1359
01:19:09,703 --> 01:19:12,195
Because it is formless,
you call it invisible.

1360
01:19:13,582 --> 01:19:15,790
Listen to it, but you cannot hear it.

1361
01:19:17,378 --> 01:19:19,586
Because it is soundless,
you call it inaudible.

1362
01:19:20,464 --> 01:19:22,706
Grasp it, but it is out of your reach.

1363
01:19:23,050 --> 01:19:25,042
Because it is subtle,
you call it intangible."

1364
01:19:26,470 --> 01:19:27,677
Uh, who's that?

1365
01:19:28,430 --> 01:19:29,420
Is that Elton John?

1366
01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:31,677
Lao-Tzu.

1367
01:19:32,977 --> 01:19:34,138
Chucky. [CHUCKLES]

1368
01:19:37,231 --> 01:19:40,770
Oh, hubba, hubba, hubba.
New heartthrob, Donnie?

1369
01:19:43,445 --> 01:19:44,561
Oh, no, no.

1370
01:19:44,947 --> 01:19:46,404
Pretty boy, small penis.

1371
01:19:48,450 --> 01:19:51,238
Maybe you were weakened
so you could become strong, Callahan.

1372
01:19:51,328 --> 01:19:52,694
You ever think of it like that?

1373
01:19:56,166 --> 01:19:58,408
The path to enlightenment
is to know yourself.

1374
01:19:59,712 --> 01:20:01,248
How do I know myself?

1375
01:20:02,881 --> 01:20:03,962
Forget yourself.

1376
01:20:04,550 --> 01:20:05,757
[CHUCKLES]

1377
01:20:10,514 --> 01:20:11,971
Oh, what'd the doctor say?

1378
01:20:12,933 --> 01:20:15,471
I was gonna tell you about
when I was in India.

1379
01:20:15,561 --> 01:20:17,427
Just let me finish so I don't forget.

1380
01:20:17,980 --> 01:20:20,063
I was driving north, to Bombay.

1381
01:20:20,149 --> 01:20:22,357
I was meeting a group of teachers
at the Bombay Hilton...

1382
01:20:22,443 --> 01:20:23,934
Oh, yeah, no, you told me this story already.

1383
01:20:25,154 --> 01:20:26,065
Have I?

1384
01:20:26,363 --> 01:20:28,776
Yeah. With the girl beggar.

1385
01:20:30,159 --> 01:20:31,570
I don't remember telling it.

1386
01:20:33,954 --> 01:20:34,865
Donnie.

1387
01:20:36,999 --> 01:20:38,456
What did the doctor say?

1388
01:20:46,675 --> 01:20:47,756
I'm fucked.

1389
01:20:50,429 --> 01:20:51,419
[COUGHS]

1390
01:20:54,975 --> 01:20:56,557
I need to drink more water.

1391
01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:21,825
Mmm. That feels good. Thank you.

1392
01:21:27,591 --> 01:21:29,753
[ANNU] "Dear Mr. Callahan,
we regret to inform you

1393
01:21:29,843 --> 01:21:32,005
that although your cartoon shows promise,

1394
01:21:32,471 --> 01:21:35,635
it's not the caliber of work
that we're used to at The New Yorker.

1395
01:21:36,266 --> 01:21:37,757
Thank you for your submission."

1396
01:21:38,644 --> 01:21:39,805
Who reads The New Yorker?

1397
01:21:44,233 --> 01:21:48,477
"Mr. Callahan, you should draw
with your other hand or become a plumber."

1398
01:21:48,570 --> 01:21:49,481
[LAUGHS]

1399
01:21:49,780 --> 01:21:50,941
"Sincerely, Robert."

1400
01:21:52,533 --> 01:21:53,865
Well, that's original.

1401
01:21:56,453 --> 01:21:57,364
Hey...

1402
01:21:59,164 --> 01:22:01,747
do you think the joke is better
if I go with paramecium,

1403
01:22:01,834 --> 01:22:06,124
dogfish, chimpanzee, Neanderthal, human?

1404
01:22:06,755 --> 01:22:08,246
Or should it be...

1405
01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:13,836
paramecium, trilobite, raptor, lemur,
Neanderthal, human?

1406
01:22:16,181 --> 01:22:17,092
I don't know.

1407
01:22:18,225 --> 01:22:20,137
Let's put that in the Not Ready pile.

1408
01:22:22,438 --> 01:22:23,269
[JOHN SIGHS]

1409
01:22:23,355 --> 01:22:25,438
- [KNOCKING]
- [TV PLAYING QUIETLY]

1410
01:22:28,402 --> 01:22:29,938
[KNOCKING]

1411
01:22:37,202 --> 01:22:39,319
[SUZANNE] Hello. John, can I come in?

1412
01:22:39,746 --> 01:22:41,703
Suzanne.

1413
01:22:41,790 --> 01:22:42,746
Hey.

1414
01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:44,699
What a lovely surprise.

1415
01:22:49,756 --> 01:22:51,338
Where'd you get the money for these posters?

1416
01:22:51,425 --> 01:22:53,007
Friends, family.

1417
01:22:53,093 --> 01:22:54,174
You got to write it down.

1418
01:22:54,553 --> 01:22:56,920
You have to report it...
any gift or donation.

1419
01:22:57,014 --> 01:22:57,925
Well...

1420
01:22:58,765 --> 01:23:01,428
I bummed a cigarette
down at Old Town the other day.

1421
01:23:01,518 --> 01:23:02,725
Should I report that, too?

1422
01:23:04,104 --> 01:23:07,017
Mr. Callahan, I'm sorry.
I do not make the rules.

1423
01:23:07,107 --> 01:23:08,689
Simply trying to get you to understand

1424
01:23:08,775 --> 01:23:10,937
the gravity of the situation.
Your cartoon earnings

1425
01:23:11,028 --> 01:23:12,815
could force your benefits to be terminated.

1426
01:23:12,905 --> 01:23:14,942
Well, h-how do I avoid that?

1427
01:23:15,032 --> 01:23:16,068
I don't know.

1428
01:23:16,158 --> 01:23:18,491
But, uh... it doesn't look good for you.

1429
01:23:19,620 --> 01:23:22,988
Uh, who do I speak to
about the specific regulations on this?

1430
01:23:23,665 --> 01:23:28,126
I mean, how can I be penalized
for making a little money this month?

1431
01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:33,291
Mr. Callahan, we have reason to believe
you're a bit of a shady character. Okay?

1432
01:23:33,759 --> 01:23:35,921
I just don't want
your benefits to be terminated.

1433
01:23:36,637 --> 01:23:39,004
Every letter starts out the same way.

1434
01:23:39,515 --> 01:23:40,972
It's always your fault.

1435
01:23:41,475 --> 01:23:44,263
You know, I... I knew, um,

1436
01:23:44,686 --> 01:23:47,178
a-a guy that was a former caseworker.

1437
01:23:47,272 --> 01:23:48,604
He's since become a buddy.

1438
01:23:49,066 --> 01:23:53,231
And he revealed to me
that any assertive client

1439
01:23:53,320 --> 01:23:58,611
was written up in his file
as a fucking unstable troublemaker.

1440
01:23:59,076 --> 01:24:00,783
You fucking believe that?

1441
01:24:01,161 --> 01:24:03,198
An unstable troublemaker.

1442
01:24:03,288 --> 01:24:04,574
[DONNIE SIGHS]

1443
01:24:04,665 --> 01:24:06,998
John, this isn't the complaint department.

1444
01:24:08,085 --> 01:24:09,951
We don't want to hear about your caseworkers.

1445
01:24:11,338 --> 01:24:13,580
Tell your story, talk about yourself.

1446
01:24:13,966 --> 01:24:18,427
Well, it is my life.
I rely on them for everything.

1447
01:24:18,512 --> 01:24:19,923
I don't, I don't know what you mean.

1448
01:24:20,013 --> 01:24:24,178
What I mean is that what about them
makes you complain?

1449
01:24:25,018 --> 01:24:27,226
It's not about the counselor herself.

1450
01:24:27,896 --> 01:24:28,852
Keep going.

1451
01:24:32,234 --> 01:24:33,600
I mean, I can't walk.

1452
01:24:33,694 --> 01:24:34,684
Why can't you walk?

1453
01:24:35,237 --> 01:24:38,150
[SCOFFS] Because I was in an accident.

1454
01:24:38,240 --> 01:24:39,151
Because?

1455
01:24:39,908 --> 01:24:43,447
'Cause the fucking asshole, Dexter,

1456
01:24:44,121 --> 01:24:46,363
fell asleep at the fucking wheel.

1457
01:24:46,456 --> 01:24:47,446
Why'd he do that?

1458
01:24:48,000 --> 01:24:49,741
'Cause he was fucking drunk.

1459
01:24:50,085 --> 01:24:51,496
Okay, and why were you in the car?

1460
01:24:54,339 --> 01:24:56,456
'Cause we were going to the next party.

1461
01:24:56,550 --> 01:24:59,418
He was the one that was driving.
I don't know why I...

1462
01:24:59,511 --> 01:25:01,252
- Okay, but why...
- I couldn't drive.

1463
01:25:01,346 --> 01:25:04,680
Wait, Callahan, why did you get in the car
with him if you knew he was drunk?

1464
01:25:04,766 --> 01:25:07,725
I don't know, 'cause I was a fucking kid!
You don't make mistakes?

1465
01:25:07,811 --> 01:25:11,851
Why did you get in the car with him
if you knew he was drunk?

1466
01:25:11,940 --> 01:25:14,933
Why would you do something like that?
Would you do that right now?

1467
01:25:15,027 --> 01:25:17,735
Would you get in the car with someone
who you knew was drunk?

1468
01:25:17,821 --> 01:25:19,312
[JOHN EXHALES]

1469
01:25:19,406 --> 01:25:20,613
Why did you do that?

1470
01:25:21,033 --> 01:25:22,399
I don't know why.

1471
01:25:22,492 --> 01:25:26,657
I... I was so fucking drunk.

1472
01:25:26,747 --> 01:25:28,830
I was so fucking drunk.

1473
01:25:28,915 --> 01:25:31,077
I was drunk since I was a fucking kid.

1474
01:25:31,710 --> 01:25:34,418
I was so embarrassing.
I know, 'cause I didn't...

1475
01:25:36,882 --> 01:25:42,719
I didn't feel loved, I didn't feel wanted,
so I tried to cover up my feelings.

1476
01:25:43,263 --> 01:25:44,174
And it worked.

1477
01:25:46,516 --> 01:25:48,929
I was born in 1951.

1478
01:25:50,604 --> 01:25:52,687
At the old Saint Vincent's Hospital.

1479
01:25:55,317 --> 01:25:57,809
I know three things about my real mother.

1480
01:26:00,489 --> 01:26:01,855
She was Irish-American.

1481
01:26:02,532 --> 01:26:03,693
She had red hair.

1482
01:26:04,785 --> 01:26:06,401
And she was a school teacher.

1483
01:26:09,373 --> 01:26:10,989
[CLICKS TONGUE] Oh, yeah.

1484
01:26:12,167 --> 01:26:13,578
And she didn't want me.

1485
01:26:15,253 --> 01:26:17,085
[SOBBING SOFTLY]

1486
01:26:26,682 --> 01:26:28,639
My alienation from my father...

1487
01:26:29,434 --> 01:26:31,801
I hated his guts since I was 11...

1488
01:26:32,771 --> 01:26:34,808
extended itself to my whole family.

1489
01:26:37,234 --> 01:26:39,351
One Christmas... [SNIFFLING]

1490
01:26:39,444 --> 01:26:40,560
at the dinner table...

1491
01:26:41,488 --> 01:26:44,401
there was a... disturbance.

1492
01:26:45,867 --> 01:26:49,611
And Tommy,
who was some five years younger than me,

1493
01:26:51,415 --> 01:26:52,451
screamed.

1494
01:26:53,208 --> 01:26:57,919
[SNIFFS] Whenever my dad
punished one of my siblings...

1495
01:27:01,133 --> 01:27:02,465
instead of me,

1496
01:27:03,593 --> 01:27:05,926
it gave me a guilt-free excuse to...

1497
01:27:07,305 --> 01:27:08,466
condemn him.

1498
01:27:09,474 --> 01:27:11,761
I guess that was a big thing, you know?

1499
01:27:13,186 --> 01:27:16,099
I never felt a part of them.

1500
01:27:17,232 --> 01:27:19,315
I never felt like I was one of them.

1501
01:27:22,696 --> 01:27:26,030
I thought I'd fucking drink my way
out of those feelings.

1502
01:27:26,825 --> 01:27:29,659
I became such a fuck up...

1503
01:27:32,122 --> 01:27:34,205
that I won't ever forgive them.

1504
01:27:38,044 --> 01:27:39,160
Oh, I mean that...

1505
01:27:39,504 --> 01:27:41,461
I mean, they won't ever forgive me...

1506
01:27:42,883 --> 01:27:46,297
for all the stupid shit I did.

1507
01:27:47,387 --> 01:27:48,673
What'd you just say?

1508
01:27:48,764 --> 01:27:49,971
That they won't...

1509
01:27:50,682 --> 01:27:52,765
forgive me for all the stupid shit I did.

1510
01:27:52,851 --> 01:27:53,762
[DOOR SLAMS]

1511
01:27:53,852 --> 01:27:54,888
[LAUGHTER]

1512
01:27:54,978 --> 01:27:57,937
That they won't forgive you
or you won't forgive them?

1513
01:27:59,524 --> 01:28:01,356
That they won't forgive me.

1514
01:28:01,443 --> 01:28:03,150
You said that you won't forgive them.

1515
01:28:03,570 --> 01:28:06,688
Okay, well, w-what would
I have to forgive them for...

1516
01:28:08,408 --> 01:28:09,489
forgive them for?

1517
01:28:10,327 --> 01:28:12,535
For making you feel like a black sheep.

1518
01:28:12,621 --> 01:28:15,580
For not being your real parents,
for having other children.

1519
01:28:17,542 --> 01:28:19,750
Forgiving your birth mother
for giving you up.

1520
01:28:24,716 --> 01:28:25,627
Think about me!

1521
01:28:26,009 --> 01:28:27,625
I won't forgive them.

1522
01:28:30,806 --> 01:28:32,297
You're right on time, John.

1523
01:28:32,891 --> 01:28:35,008
You're approaching the ninth step,

1524
01:28:35,101 --> 01:28:39,186
which is where you get to go
face-to-face with these people

1525
01:28:39,272 --> 01:28:40,683
and forgive them in person.

1526
01:28:43,235 --> 01:28:44,146
[WHISPERS] That's it?

1527
01:28:45,278 --> 01:28:46,189
[LAUGHS]

1528
01:28:47,364 --> 01:28:49,151
I mean, uh... [SNIFFLES]

1529
01:28:50,200 --> 01:28:51,441
I kind of thought that my...

1530
01:28:52,619 --> 01:28:55,453
group story would end with an epiphany.

1531
01:28:55,914 --> 01:28:57,075
Like, you know, I'd...

1532
01:28:58,834 --> 01:29:01,577
break down and cry, and-and, uh...

1533
01:29:02,379 --> 01:29:03,870
be cured forever.

1534
01:29:04,339 --> 01:29:05,875
[LAUGHS]

1535
01:29:05,966 --> 01:29:06,922
Nope.

1536
01:29:07,008 --> 01:29:10,877
No, I don't feel that different now.
I don't...

1537
01:29:13,473 --> 01:29:15,339
I don't feel like I had the big moment.

1538
01:29:15,433 --> 01:29:16,719
This is the big moment.

1539
01:29:16,810 --> 01:29:20,554
There's no lightning bolt that shoots you
and cures all your shit.

1540
01:29:20,856 --> 01:29:26,693
There are discoveries and epiphanies
and moments of clarity.

1541
01:29:26,778 --> 01:29:28,610
But this doesn't just go away.

1542
01:29:30,782 --> 01:29:32,944
You have to wrestle with this shit every day.

1543
01:29:33,034 --> 01:29:35,117
Some of that pain will remain there forever.

1544
01:29:35,203 --> 01:29:37,115
Some of that shame will remain there forever.

1545
01:29:37,205 --> 01:29:40,414
But you have to fight with it,
or you'll fucking die.

1546
01:29:44,546 --> 01:29:45,536
Thank you.

1547
01:29:51,595 --> 01:29:52,676
Mr. Levine?

1548
01:29:54,389 --> 01:29:55,880
- John?
- Yeah.

1549
01:29:56,892 --> 01:29:58,099
It's been so long.

1550
01:29:58,727 --> 01:29:59,808
Uh, hey.

1551
01:29:59,895 --> 01:30:01,386
- How you been doing?
- All right.

1552
01:30:01,479 --> 01:30:02,845
- You still drawing?
- Yeah.

1553
01:30:02,939 --> 01:30:05,522
I remember you back in high...
in high school,

1554
01:30:05,609 --> 01:30:07,145
you had problems with sketches.

1555
01:30:07,736 --> 01:30:09,147
But then you got into oil colors,

1556
01:30:09,237 --> 01:30:10,773
- and it sort of reversed on itself.
- Yeah.

1557
01:30:11,072 --> 01:30:13,109
You were quite the student back then.

1558
01:30:14,159 --> 01:30:15,149
Hey, um...

1559
01:30:16,786 --> 01:30:18,573
Hey, I just want to apologize.

1560
01:30:18,663 --> 01:30:19,699
Apologize for what?

1561
01:30:20,373 --> 01:30:21,409
Well, I was...

1562
01:30:22,250 --> 01:30:24,993
I caused some troubles in class, and...

1563
01:30:25,086 --> 01:30:26,202
and you didn't deserve that.

1564
01:30:26,296 --> 01:30:28,583
And, uh, I felt bad about it, and...

1565
01:30:29,174 --> 01:30:30,540
I just want to make amends.

1566
01:30:30,634 --> 01:30:33,092
Well, that's great you should say that, John.

1567
01:30:33,178 --> 01:30:36,091
Teenagers, you know,
you go through these stages, so...

1568
01:30:36,181 --> 01:30:38,764
I could see potential in you.
That was the main thing.

1569
01:30:38,850 --> 01:30:41,263
I stole a shirt from this store
ten years ago,

1570
01:30:42,062 --> 01:30:44,395
and I'd like to make it up to you.

1571
01:30:44,731 --> 01:30:46,814
It would really screw up our books.

1572
01:30:46,900 --> 01:30:47,981
Um...

1573
01:30:48,068 --> 01:30:52,153
Just give $5 to a charity,
and that'll make it good, son.

1574
01:30:54,449 --> 01:30:55,405
Hey, John.

1575
01:31:10,757 --> 01:31:12,168
What do you want from me, John?

1576
01:31:12,759 --> 01:31:14,967
Yeah, I was just thinking, you know,

1577
01:31:15,053 --> 01:31:18,592
we've had a pretty
contentious relationship, and, um...

1578
01:31:19,140 --> 01:31:21,803
Probably made you feel bad a lot. And, um...

1579
01:31:22,519 --> 01:31:26,012
I realize that
it must be a really hard job, actually.

1580
01:31:26,398 --> 01:31:30,017
And, uh, I probably made it more difficult.

1581
01:31:31,444 --> 01:31:32,480
And, um...

1582
01:31:33,655 --> 01:31:35,066
and I wanted to apologize.

1583
01:31:35,991 --> 01:31:39,359
Well, uh, thanks for apologizing. I...

1584
01:31:39,786 --> 01:31:42,244
And, uh... sure. I forgive you.

1585
01:31:44,791 --> 01:31:47,909
Hey, I made this drawing for you.

1586
01:31:54,968 --> 01:31:56,504
Oh, boy. [LAUGHS]

1587
01:31:57,095 --> 01:31:59,553
[JOHN] Well... I don't know,
maybe you can help me.

1588
01:31:59,848 --> 01:32:02,966
I'm trying to do something
with Klansmen, like...

1589
01:32:03,977 --> 01:32:06,185
you know, just make them, like,
more human, you know?

1590
01:32:06,271 --> 01:32:07,853
- 'Cause everyone always talks about...
- Klansmen?

1591
01:32:07,939 --> 01:32:10,226
Well, no, because people
always think about...

1592
01:32:11,234 --> 01:32:15,069
racists as, like, just this, like,
pure evil, but they're your neighbors.

1593
01:32:15,155 --> 01:32:16,737
[SUZANNE] I don't know, I guess...

1594
01:32:17,115 --> 01:32:18,196
sheets.

1595
01:32:18,908 --> 01:32:21,992
Uh... what I like about sheets
is they're sort of,

1596
01:32:22,495 --> 01:32:24,703
like, warm and fluffy when
you get 'em out of the dryer.

1597
01:32:25,874 --> 01:32:27,081
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

1598
01:32:27,167 --> 01:32:29,750
[JOHN] Don't you love it
when they're still warm from the dryer?

1599
01:32:30,587 --> 01:32:33,000
[DEXTER] # What's the matter
With the crowd I'm seeing? #

1600
01:32:33,089 --> 01:32:35,456
# Don't you know that
They're out of touch? #

1601
01:32:35,550 --> 01:32:37,633
["It's Still Rock and Roll to Me"
by Billy Joel playing]

1602
01:32:37,719 --> 01:32:40,006
# Should I be
A fucking straight-A student? #

1603
01:32:40,096 --> 01:32:42,884
# If you are then you think too much... #

1604
01:32:44,017 --> 01:32:46,054
- [JOHN] Dexter?
- [SINGING TRAILS OFF]

1605
01:32:46,144 --> 01:32:47,385
[SONG CONTINUES OVER STEREO]

1606
01:32:47,479 --> 01:32:50,847
# You can't dress trashy
Till you spend a lot of money #

1607
01:32:50,940 --> 01:32:53,899
# Everybody's talking 'bout
The new sound... #

1608
01:32:53,985 --> 01:32:54,896
You don't remember me?

1609
01:32:56,362 --> 01:32:57,853
- How you doing?
- [EXHALES]

1610
01:32:59,824 --> 01:33:02,316
# What's the matter
With the car I'm driving... #

1611
01:33:02,410 --> 01:33:03,491
[SNAPS FINGERS]

1612
01:33:03,578 --> 01:33:04,568
[QUIETLY] Man.

1613
01:33:05,747 --> 01:33:08,490
Um, you know, I'm, uh...

1614
01:33:09,584 --> 01:33:12,918
fucking living.
I'm just fucking doing my thing here.

1615
01:33:13,379 --> 01:33:15,871
# Nowadays you can't be
Too sentimental... #

1616
01:33:15,965 --> 01:33:16,921
How you doing?

1617
01:33:17,967 --> 01:33:18,923
I'm good.

1618
01:33:19,677 --> 01:33:20,758
I'm really good.

1619
01:33:22,263 --> 01:33:23,174
Yeah.

1620
01:33:23,973 --> 01:33:24,963
I'm sober now.

1621
01:33:25,517 --> 01:33:26,928
- No shit?
- Yeah.

1622
01:33:28,520 --> 01:33:29,476
Yeah.

1623
01:33:29,562 --> 01:33:32,100
And, uh... it's good.

1624
01:33:32,190 --> 01:33:33,146
It's really good.

1625
01:33:33,900 --> 01:33:35,812
I've been doing it, too, on and off,

1626
01:33:35,902 --> 01:33:37,768
- for, like, the last seven years, but...
- Is that right?

1627
01:33:37,862 --> 01:33:40,570
I'm fucking... I'm a fuck up,
though, man. I don't...

1628
01:33:40,657 --> 01:33:41,693
Ah, it's okay.

1629
01:33:41,783 --> 01:33:42,899
I don't stick to it, but...

1630
01:33:45,120 --> 01:33:47,703
Buddy, I came this fucking close
to reaching out to you,

1631
01:33:47,789 --> 01:33:51,282
but, uh, you know,
I just chicken-shitted out.

1632
01:33:51,376 --> 01:33:53,117
I'm so fucking glad you're here.

1633
01:33:53,795 --> 01:33:56,333
Yeah. You've been on my mind, too.

1634
01:33:57,257 --> 01:34:00,125
I just didn't know what to fucking say.
I was fucking...

1635
01:34:01,136 --> 01:34:02,798
I mean, there's nothing I can say.

1636
01:34:02,887 --> 01:34:04,298
There's nothing I can say.

1637
01:34:06,057 --> 01:34:08,014
You know, what I've been learning is...

1638
01:34:08,810 --> 01:34:10,176
I fucked my shit up.

1639
01:34:10,270 --> 01:34:12,387
And it started long before I met you.

1640
01:34:14,315 --> 01:34:15,351
It's all right.

1641
01:34:16,359 --> 01:34:17,645
It is. Don't feel bad.

1642
01:34:18,111 --> 01:34:21,525
No, I actually want
to tell you that I was sorry.

1643
01:34:22,282 --> 01:34:24,820
What do you mean? You're not...
What are you sorry for?

1644
01:34:25,535 --> 01:34:29,700
Hey, man, I'm responsible, too,
and I'm sure that

1645
01:34:29,789 --> 01:34:31,371
it's probably really difficult for you.

1646
01:34:32,000 --> 01:34:33,957
I mean, all those years, I imagine.

1647
01:34:34,043 --> 01:34:36,251
I don't want you to feel guilty or feel bad.

1648
01:34:36,337 --> 01:34:39,000
You need to know I had a good life, man.

1649
01:34:39,924 --> 01:34:41,756
Really. Things are good.

1650
01:34:42,844 --> 01:34:43,925
It's really good.

1651
01:34:44,971 --> 01:34:46,803
- No shit?
- Yeah.

1652
01:34:46,890 --> 01:34:49,724
I've had a fucking shitty fucking life, man.

1653
01:34:51,102 --> 01:34:52,138
Sorry.

1654
01:34:53,980 --> 01:34:54,970
I'm sorry.

1655
01:34:59,402 --> 01:35:00,358
Um...

1656
01:35:05,491 --> 01:35:07,608
I'm coming in. I'm coming in.

1657
01:35:07,702 --> 01:35:08,613
[BOTH LAUGH]

1658
01:35:09,245 --> 01:35:11,077
Ah, ah, it's all right, man.

1659
01:35:11,164 --> 01:35:12,780
[CHUCKLES]

1660
01:35:21,174 --> 01:35:22,085
Hi, Mom.

1661
01:35:25,220 --> 01:35:26,427
You look pretty.

1662
01:35:27,639 --> 01:35:29,801
[BREATHES DEEPLY]

1663
01:35:31,643 --> 01:35:34,010
I guess I have to forgive you
more than anyone.

1664
01:35:37,023 --> 01:35:38,309
I've cursed you.

1665
01:35:39,359 --> 01:35:40,895
I've screamed at you.

1666
01:35:44,530 --> 01:35:46,112
I never considered what it...

1667
01:35:47,158 --> 01:35:48,490
might have been like for you.

1668
01:35:51,454 --> 01:35:53,446
Might be it was really difficult
to give me up.

1669
01:35:55,166 --> 01:35:56,282
Or maybe it wasn't.

1670
01:35:56,376 --> 01:35:57,742
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

1671
01:35:57,835 --> 01:35:59,246
And that's okay, too.

1672
01:36:02,715 --> 01:36:03,626
I guess...

1673
01:36:06,261 --> 01:36:10,255
I guess I'll never find you,
no matter how much I search.

1674
01:36:11,891 --> 01:36:14,178
Looking up every Maggie Lynch that I could.

1675
01:36:16,062 --> 01:36:19,100
You know, I even found someone that knew you.

1676
01:36:22,527 --> 01:36:23,813
I got close.

1677
01:36:28,032 --> 01:36:29,068
But, Mom...

1678
01:36:31,953 --> 01:36:32,909
wherever...

1679
01:36:33,413 --> 01:36:34,620
wherever you are,

1680
01:36:35,707 --> 01:36:37,118
I need you to know...

1681
01:36:40,253 --> 01:36:41,585
I forgive you.

1682
01:36:44,465 --> 01:36:45,546
[WHISPERS] It's okay.

1683
01:36:51,139 --> 01:36:52,380
[SNIFFLES]

1684
01:36:53,558 --> 01:36:55,049
What's that painting, Donnie?

1685
01:36:56,477 --> 01:36:57,513
[DONNIE] I don't know.

1686
01:36:59,897 --> 01:37:03,106
I got it the same way I got
all this shit, inherited it.

1687
01:37:04,694 --> 01:37:05,605
It's, like...

1688
01:37:06,696 --> 01:37:08,278
my grandparents were, like...

1689
01:37:09,824 --> 01:37:11,440
fucking really rich.

1690
01:37:12,452 --> 01:37:14,444
So, like, my parents grew up rich,

1691
01:37:15,288 --> 01:37:17,496
and then, like, I grew up really rich.

1692
01:37:17,582 --> 01:37:19,915
[CHUCKLES] It's, like, so stupid.

1693
01:37:20,001 --> 01:37:21,663
[BOTH LAUGH]

1694
01:37:22,420 --> 01:37:24,036
It's nice, but it's stupid.

1695
01:37:26,174 --> 01:37:28,632
Have you visited everyone
you felt you wronged?

1696
01:37:29,844 --> 01:37:31,551
Forgiven everyone you wanted to forgive?

1697
01:37:32,096 --> 01:37:33,007
Yeah.

1698
01:37:33,848 --> 01:37:34,838
So...

1699
01:37:35,516 --> 01:37:37,052
what, I'm all cleared up, huh?

1700
01:37:38,353 --> 01:37:39,844
Step ten, next?

1701
01:37:40,355 --> 01:37:41,345
What about yourself?

1702
01:37:43,733 --> 01:37:44,689
What do you mean?

1703
01:37:45,109 --> 01:37:46,816
It's not all about your mother.

1704
01:37:48,237 --> 01:37:49,819
You have to forgive yourself, too.

1705
01:37:52,200 --> 01:37:54,237
Forgive yourself for listening to Dexter,

1706
01:37:54,327 --> 01:37:56,284
forgive yourself
for going with him that night.

1707
01:38:00,333 --> 01:38:01,824
- [TIRES SCREECH]
- [HORN HONKS]

1708
01:38:02,835 --> 01:38:03,791
[HORN HONKS]

1709
01:38:04,587 --> 01:38:05,577
[TIRES SCREECH]

1710
01:38:06,798 --> 01:38:08,630
[JOHN] Hello, Brenda. Hello, all my friends.

1711
01:38:08,716 --> 01:38:11,424
How are you? It is a great day today.

1712
01:38:11,511 --> 01:38:13,969
[BRENDA] Hey, what's happening?
What's up, John?

1713
01:38:14,055 --> 01:38:15,842
Ah, nothing much.

1714
01:38:15,932 --> 01:38:17,969
You know, the usual.

1715
01:38:18,810 --> 01:38:21,143
Thought you might want
to take a look at this.

1716
01:38:21,938 --> 01:38:22,894
What's this?

1717
01:38:23,231 --> 01:38:24,312
Oh, nothing.

1718
01:38:26,401 --> 01:38:29,610
[BRENDA] Mm-hmm. [LAUGHS]

1719
01:38:30,405 --> 01:38:31,646
That's funny.

1720
01:38:31,739 --> 01:38:32,650
What is this?

1721
01:38:33,116 --> 01:38:34,573
Penthouse. Oh, wow, that's nice.

1722
01:38:35,076 --> 01:38:37,284
- [JOHN] "Well, that's nice"? That's it?
- It's great.

1723
01:38:37,787 --> 01:38:39,779
"This area's patrolled by lesbians."

1724
01:38:39,872 --> 01:38:41,283
What are you saying about lesbians?

1725
01:38:41,958 --> 01:38:43,449
Are they intimidating or something?

1726
01:38:43,543 --> 01:38:46,581
No, it's not... I'm just saying, you know,
well, maybe they're, like,

1727
01:38:46,671 --> 01:38:49,539
naked construction site security...

1728
01:38:50,091 --> 01:38:51,798
Very educational article.

1729
01:38:51,884 --> 01:38:54,376
Well, it's just a cartoon.
I mean, it's just supposed to be funny.

1730
01:38:54,470 --> 01:38:55,381
[MAN] Hey, John!

1731
01:38:55,721 --> 01:38:56,882
- John!
- Yeah?

1732
01:38:56,973 --> 01:38:57,884
What do you got?

1733
01:38:58,349 --> 01:39:00,056
[MAN GROANS QUIETLY]

1734
01:39:00,893 --> 01:39:02,384
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.

1735
01:39:03,646 --> 01:39:04,557
Take a look.

1736
01:39:05,481 --> 01:39:07,017
All right, let me check.

1737
01:39:07,108 --> 01:39:09,851
[LAUGHS] Okay, that's funny.

1738
01:39:09,944 --> 01:39:10,980
- It's funny.
- That's funny.

1739
01:39:11,070 --> 01:39:11,935
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1740
01:39:12,029 --> 01:39:14,146
It is funny.
Well, why do you think it's funny?

1741
01:39:14,824 --> 01:39:15,905
- Oh, wow.
- It's, uh...

1742
01:39:17,618 --> 01:39:18,984
It's funny 'cause it makes you laugh.

1743
01:39:19,078 --> 01:39:19,989
It's not that funny.

1744
01:39:20,413 --> 01:39:22,325
[MAN 2] The joke is funny because of the sign

1745
01:39:22,415 --> 01:39:26,329
suggesting that lesbians will
kick your ass if you cross.

1746
01:39:26,419 --> 01:39:28,160
- It's-it's unexpected.
- [CHUCKLES]

1747
01:39:28,254 --> 01:39:30,246
It's-it's like a warning sign
for attack dogs,

1748
01:39:30,339 --> 01:39:32,080
- but instead it's lesbians.
- [JOHN] Thank you.

1749
01:39:32,175 --> 01:39:34,212
I mean, for the-the readers of Penthouse,

1750
01:39:34,302 --> 01:39:38,012
these men, this-this plays on
this shared fear of women.

1751
01:39:38,097 --> 01:39:41,135
Just this unexpected mutual fear.

1752
01:39:41,225 --> 01:39:42,136
I mean, it's...

1753
01:39:42,768 --> 01:39:45,010
Wow. I mean, what's scarier
than a group of women

1754
01:39:45,104 --> 01:39:46,470
that don't need men?

1755
01:39:48,316 --> 01:39:50,808
It's also just... really fucking funny.

1756
01:39:50,902 --> 01:39:52,518
- That's what I think.
- That is funny.

1757
01:39:52,612 --> 01:39:54,604
- I didn't even think about it.
- The "lesbian," exclamation point.

1758
01:39:54,697 --> 01:39:56,529
- Wow.
- [JOHN] You guys want another beer?

1759
01:39:56,616 --> 01:39:58,152
Let me buy you guys a beer.
What're you drinking?

1760
01:39:58,242 --> 01:39:59,153
Uh...

1761
01:39:59,744 --> 01:40:00,734
- Gherkin.
- Cerveza?

1762
01:40:00,828 --> 01:40:01,864
- Yeah.
- You want a cerveza?

1763
01:40:01,954 --> 01:40:02,865
- Same. Yeah.
- That's fine.

1764
01:40:02,955 --> 01:40:04,241
Hey, can I get three cervezas?

1765
01:40:04,332 --> 01:40:06,289
You know what? Beer for everybody!

1766
01:40:06,375 --> 01:40:08,082
[CHEERING, EXCITED CHATTER]

1767
01:40:08,669 --> 01:40:11,503
Hey, John. What you got for us?

1768
01:40:12,507 --> 01:40:14,043
- Yes.
- [LAUGHS]

1769
01:40:14,634 --> 01:40:15,715
This one's great.

1770
01:40:15,801 --> 01:40:17,793
- This came for you, John.
- Awesome. Thank you.

1771
01:40:29,148 --> 01:40:30,309
[SIGHS]

1772
01:40:32,527 --> 01:40:34,189
[MAN] Hey! Callahan!

1773
01:40:34,278 --> 01:40:35,814
Loved that lawyer joke!

1774
01:40:35,905 --> 01:40:39,273
[JOHN READING]

1775
01:40:43,663 --> 01:40:46,701
- Hey. I loved your Jesus joke, man.
- Ah, really?

1776
01:40:46,791 --> 01:40:48,783
[JOHN] Thank God it's Friday.

1777
01:40:50,419 --> 01:40:52,661
Your cartoons are sickening.

1778
01:40:52,755 --> 01:40:54,587
You should be dropped from the paper!

1779
01:40:56,384 --> 01:40:57,215
[ANNU] She was really mad.

1780
01:40:57,301 --> 01:40:59,884
Yeah. I like those reactions
the best, though.

1781
01:40:59,971 --> 01:41:01,712
You know? She's really telling it like it is.

1782
01:41:02,765 --> 01:41:04,381
- [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
- Over here?

1783
01:41:05,560 --> 01:41:07,222
- You know what I mean?
- Mm.

1784
01:41:07,311 --> 01:41:08,973
They've been in ten different bands.

1785
01:41:09,397 --> 01:41:11,480
- [MAN] Yes!
- [EXCITED CHATTER NEARBY]

1786
01:41:11,566 --> 01:41:12,807
That's what I'm talking about.

1787
01:41:12,900 --> 01:41:14,766
[WHISPERS] "Harmonious male backpacker..."

1788
01:41:14,860 --> 01:41:16,647
Oh. My God, Annu, look at this.

1789
01:41:16,737 --> 01:41:18,444
"Harmonious male backpacker

1790
01:41:18,531 --> 01:41:21,274
into making 16th-century stringed instruments

1791
01:41:21,367 --> 01:41:23,950
seeks radical feminist
household which will not

1792
01:41:24,036 --> 01:41:26,073
tease me about my testicles."

1793
01:41:26,163 --> 01:41:27,279
[CHUCKLES]

1794
01:41:27,373 --> 01:41:29,114
I mean, is this fucking real?

1795
01:41:29,208 --> 01:41:31,040
It doesn't seem that strange, John.

1796
01:41:31,127 --> 01:41:31,992
It doesn't?

1797
01:41:32,086 --> 01:41:33,418
You're just living in the past.

1798
01:41:34,088 --> 01:41:35,545
I'm living in the pa... Oh.

1799
01:41:46,517 --> 01:41:47,678
Bye for now.

1800
01:42:03,576 --> 01:42:04,942
[ANNU LAUGHS]

1801
01:42:08,039 --> 01:42:09,325
[JOHN LAUGHS] I got you.

1802
01:42:09,415 --> 01:42:12,078
[BIRDS CHIRPING]

1803
01:42:12,501 --> 01:42:13,833
Are you working on your sobriety?

1804
01:42:15,338 --> 01:42:16,624
Still working on it, man.

1805
01:42:18,924 --> 01:42:20,335
Finishing all the levels?

1806
01:42:21,344 --> 01:42:24,303
Yep. I spoke at a meeting last week.

1807
01:42:24,388 --> 01:42:25,970
- John.
- Yeah.

1808
01:42:27,141 --> 01:42:29,133
- [EXHALES] That is great.
- [CHUCKLES]

1809
01:42:30,269 --> 01:42:31,885
I love step 12.

1810
01:42:31,979 --> 01:42:33,220
Yeah, I mean...

1811
01:42:34,482 --> 01:42:36,940
I was nervous, still, but...

1812
01:42:38,486 --> 01:42:40,068
I don't know, giving back.

1813
01:42:42,657 --> 01:42:43,898
You forgive yourself yet?

1814
01:42:46,661 --> 01:42:47,697
I think so.

1815
01:42:49,372 --> 01:42:50,954
What'd you forgive yourself for?

1816
01:42:53,125 --> 01:42:55,242
I forgave myself for...

1817
01:42:56,712 --> 01:42:58,248
looking for better babes.

1818
01:43:03,260 --> 01:43:05,343
Did I ever tell you how I stay sober?

1819
01:43:06,180 --> 01:43:07,136
Tell me again.

1820
01:43:10,559 --> 01:43:12,846
I was with someone for a long time.

1821
01:43:15,731 --> 01:43:17,893
He was great. He was a really sweet person.

1822
01:43:20,361 --> 01:43:23,354
But I was... I was very selfish.

1823
01:43:27,576 --> 01:43:28,908
I was very fucked up.

1824
01:43:32,206 --> 01:43:33,117
And, uh...

1825
01:43:33,958 --> 01:43:36,575
he... uh, he came home one day,

1826
01:43:37,253 --> 01:43:39,666
and I was having a seizure on the floor.

1827
01:43:40,381 --> 01:43:41,462
And...

1828
01:43:47,513 --> 01:43:48,469
[SNIFFLES]

1829
01:43:51,308 --> 01:43:53,641
When I get close to wanting a drink,

1830
01:43:54,145 --> 01:43:58,014
I... I don't think of myself or my life.

1831
01:44:03,279 --> 01:44:04,645
I think of him.

1832
01:44:06,449 --> 01:44:07,530
His face.

1833
01:44:09,410 --> 01:44:10,651
[SNIFFLING]

1834
01:44:12,872 --> 01:44:15,330
[DONNIE SOBBING]

1835
01:44:16,375 --> 01:44:18,367
I don't know how many, uh...

1836
01:44:19,837 --> 01:44:21,954
more of these talks
we're gonna have, 'cause...

1837
01:44:23,632 --> 01:44:26,591
I'm seeing the gymnasts on the lawn, John.

1838
01:44:28,929 --> 01:44:30,090
[SOFTLY] Don't say that.

1839
01:44:35,394 --> 01:44:37,135
A big part of this program

1840
01:44:38,230 --> 01:44:40,347
is losing people you don't want to lose.

1841
01:44:47,531 --> 01:44:49,693
Being a model to the world...

1842
01:44:53,162 --> 01:44:56,405
eternal virtue will be yours,

1843
01:44:57,583 --> 01:44:59,666
and you return to the boundless.

1844
01:45:02,046 --> 01:45:03,127
Lao-Tzu.

1845
01:45:04,006 --> 01:45:05,417
Chuck E. Cheese.

1846
01:45:05,508 --> 01:45:07,716
[BOTH LAUGHING]

1847
01:45:09,970 --> 01:45:11,211
[SIGHS]

1848
01:45:17,228 --> 01:45:19,015
I think I'm still a little selfish.

1849
01:45:19,772 --> 01:45:21,809
I was helping you guys a lot, 'cause...

1850
01:45:22,566 --> 01:45:23,932
it was helping me.

1851
01:45:24,026 --> 01:45:25,938
My 12th step, being a sponsor.

1852
01:45:30,449 --> 01:45:32,532
You were such a pain in the ass, John.

1853
01:45:32,618 --> 01:45:33,449
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

1854
01:45:33,536 --> 01:45:34,572
[WHISPERS] I'm sorry.

1855
01:45:35,663 --> 01:45:36,904
You're the best, Donnie.

1856
01:45:37,957 --> 01:45:38,993
You really helped me.

1857
01:45:39,708 --> 01:45:40,869
You helped all of us.

1858
01:45:42,795 --> 01:45:45,082
It is hard teaching people faith.

1859
01:45:55,850 --> 01:45:56,806
Give me a hug.

1860
01:46:02,648 --> 01:46:03,559
Come here.

1861
01:46:09,113 --> 01:46:10,024
Drink water.

1862
01:46:10,656 --> 01:46:11,567
You, too.

1863
01:46:12,366 --> 01:46:14,949
- It doesn't work.
- [LAUGHS]

1864
01:46:15,536 --> 01:46:16,947
[LAUGHS] It really doesn't.

1865
01:46:17,037 --> 01:46:18,494
[DONNIE SNIFFLES]

1866
01:46:18,581 --> 01:46:19,697
Adios, amigo.

1867
01:46:21,250 --> 01:46:22,161
- [JOHN] Yeah.
- [BOY] Yeah.

1868
01:46:22,251 --> 01:46:25,289
[JOHN] He used to wear these
really, really cool scarves.

1869
01:46:25,379 --> 01:46:26,870
[BOY] Yeah, he looks like a wizard.

1870
01:46:26,964 --> 01:46:28,956
[JOHN] Yeah, Donnie got
really sick over time.

1871
01:46:29,466 --> 01:46:31,924
- And he discovered he had AIDS.
- Mm.

1872
01:46:32,219 --> 01:46:34,176
That was the last time
I saw him before he died.

1873
01:46:34,722 --> 01:46:35,633
- Oh.

1874
01:46:35,931 --> 01:46:36,842
- Yeah.
- The truth...

1875
01:46:36,932 --> 01:46:38,673
- Yeah, the truth hurts.
- Yeah. Yeah.

1876
01:46:38,767 --> 01:46:40,008
- [CHUCKLES]
- Unfortunately.

1877
01:46:40,102 --> 01:46:41,718
So, do you want to come
to the skate ramp with us?

1878
01:46:41,812 --> 01:46:44,270
- Yeah.
- [JOHN] Yeah, absolutely. Where is it?

1879
01:46:44,356 --> 01:46:45,767
Uh, it's down the block, actually.

1880
01:46:45,858 --> 01:46:47,440
- [JOHN] Show me the way.
- Yeah! It's there.

1881
01:46:48,027 --> 01:46:50,269
[EXCITED CHATTER]

1882
01:46:50,362 --> 01:46:51,523
- That way.
- [JOHN] That way?

1883
01:46:52,823 --> 01:46:53,939
[JOHN WHOOPS]

1884
01:46:56,577 --> 01:46:58,318
[PURRING SOFTLY]

1885
01:47:13,969 --> 01:47:17,553
[JOHN] I'd like to thank all those who
made it possible for me to be here tonight.

1886
01:47:33,697 --> 01:47:34,608
I feel...

1887
01:47:35,199 --> 01:47:36,189
[CLEARS THROAT]

1888
01:47:36,909 --> 01:47:39,868
stimulated, magical.

1889
01:47:41,205 --> 01:47:43,822
At night, I seem to think more clearly.

1890
01:47:44,541 --> 01:47:47,659
I work hard, but it doesn't feel
like work to me.

1891
01:47:49,088 --> 01:47:50,545
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

1892
01:47:50,631 --> 01:47:53,419
The intellectual clutter of the daytime hours

1893
01:47:53,509 --> 01:47:57,128
dissolves from my mind,
which moves in an almost...

1894
01:47:57,972 --> 01:48:00,214
instinctual, animal way.

1895
01:48:02,017 --> 01:48:03,133
I'm happy.

1896
01:48:04,937 --> 01:48:08,647
I don't care that the job
or the welfare office

1897
01:48:08,732 --> 01:48:10,849
is giving me gray hairs, because...

1898
01:48:13,487 --> 01:48:18,027
ideas and images are flowing through me

1899
01:48:19,118 --> 01:48:20,529
and onto the paper.

1900
01:48:23,539 --> 01:48:26,077
I'd like to thank
all those who made it possible

1901
01:48:26,166 --> 01:48:27,407
for me to be here tonight.

1902
01:48:31,296 --> 01:48:32,707
Because if it weren't for you...

1903
01:48:34,925 --> 01:48:36,257
I don't think I would have made it.

1904
01:48:37,344 --> 01:48:39,301
[APPLAUSE]

1905
01:49:06,999 --> 01:49:08,991
[APPLAUSE CONTINUES]

1906
01:49:14,631 --> 01:49:16,213
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

1907
01:49:16,300 --> 01:49:17,131
Oh.

1908
01:49:17,217 --> 01:49:18,378
- That was good.
- Yeah, John.

1909
01:49:18,469 --> 01:49:19,676
- Get it!
- Yeah!

1910
01:49:19,762 --> 01:49:20,627
Whoo!

1911
01:49:20,721 --> 01:49:22,883
- Oh. Uh-oh.
- [JOHN] Oh!

1912
01:49:22,973 --> 01:49:24,259
[JOHN LAUGHS]

1913
01:49:24,349 --> 01:49:26,386
- Gnarly!
- You all right?

1914
01:49:26,477 --> 01:49:28,343
Let's go, get him up.

1915
01:49:28,437 --> 01:49:29,973
- Get his, get his shoulders.
- You okay?

1916
01:49:30,064 --> 01:49:31,851
Here. Hold up. Uh...

1917
01:49:31,940 --> 01:49:33,101
[BOY LAUGHS]

1918
01:51:13,375 --> 01:51:15,367
["TEXAS WHEN YOU GO"
BY JOHN CALLAHAN PLAYING]

1919
01:51:19,214 --> 01:51:25,051
# I met you on a highway night #

1920
01:51:25,429 --> 01:51:29,639
# Inside a Texas rain #

1921
01:51:31,560 --> 01:51:36,897
# The year that Mama lost her mind #

1922
01:51:37,524 --> 01:51:42,360
# And Papa went insane #

1923
01:51:43,614 --> 01:51:48,359
# And Papa went insane #

1924
01:51:52,789 --> 01:51:58,251
# You took me on a Texas trail #

1925
01:51:58,921 --> 01:52:02,915
# Laredo to Larue #

1926
01:52:04,927 --> 01:52:10,468
# It took me all those Texas towns #

1927
01:52:10,974 --> 01:52:15,218
# To fall in love with you #

1928
01:52:16,939 --> 01:52:21,024
# To fall in love with you #

1929
01:52:25,906 --> 01:52:31,447
# The babies came in winter time #

1930
01:52:32,037 --> 01:52:36,122
# You settled by the stove #

1931
01:52:40,879 --> 01:52:46,091
# You played a song that seemed so long #

1932
01:52:46,718 --> 01:52:51,133
# About a road you drove #

1933
01:52:52,641 --> 01:52:57,181
# About a road you drove #

1934
01:53:01,858 --> 01:53:06,102
# Once you spoke of Paris #

1935
01:53:07,197 --> 01:53:11,487
# And Mama said to you #

1936
01:53:13,745 --> 01:53:18,240
# There's a Paris far away #

1937
01:53:19,334 --> 01:53:23,920
# And one in Texas, too #

1938
01:53:25,340 --> 01:53:30,085
# And one in Texas, too #

1939
01:53:34,224 --> 01:53:40,095
# The moon has set inside the pines #

1940
01:53:40,605 --> 01:53:44,770
# Your sleep is soft and slow #

1941
01:53:46,611 --> 01:53:51,481
# When you leave me, leave me here #

1942
01:53:52,242 --> 01:53:56,452
# In Texas when you go #

1943
01:53:58,040 --> 01:54:02,876
# In Texas when you go #