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- >Been living in Equestria for a few years
- >Dating this real cute pony for months now
- >This stallion named Joe comes out of fucking nowhere into my life
- >He's my new coworker at the company I work at
- >Find out he has no money andd nowhere to live
- >Moved here for the job and can no longer afford his hotel room
- >Decide to open up to him
- >Keep him in my apartment for weeks
- >Bro is pretty cool
- >Wehang out, drinks Applecider, watch hoofball
- >This continues for months
- >Afterwards, find out girlfriend is magically pregnant
- >Excited as fuck, because I thought it was impossible
- >Decide to marry her soon
- >One night, eating out at dinner with girlfriend
- >Joe stayed late at the office for some overtime
- >I pop the question to her
- >She admits she was raped by Joe and the baby isn't mine
- >She isn't ready to make a commitment after being violated
- >Go home in a fucking rage.
- >Throw out all Joe's shit
- >Gonna fucking kill Joe when he gets home.
- >Joe gets home about 1 a.m.
- >As soon as he opens the door, I fucking punch him in his bastard face
- >Eye swells up like a boll of cotton
- >He swings at me
- >Dodge and sweep his legs
- >He falls down
- >In a giant fucking rage now
- >Go to my room, grab my handgun out of my drawer
- >Go back to confront Joe
- >Joe jumps in a carriage and fucking hightails it out of there
- >I haven't seen or heard from him since
- >On the phone a month later with my brother
- >He finally asks why I've been so depressed
- >I tell him that if it hadn't been for cotton-eye Joe
- >I'd been married a long time ago
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giJ5I9yuQEY
- >Where did you come from, where did you go--
- >Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?
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