Thread 20: Stories 16-30

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NON CANON
>Spike
"Applejack"
~~~
Spike is thrown roughly onto Applejack's bed

>Omph! A-Applejack?

Applejack stalks forward with bedroom eyes

"Yeah, Sugarcube?"

>W-what's gotten into you? a-Are you trying to discourage me from the expedition?

He didn't want to say it was working

"Nope."

She straddles over him

>Well then what-

She cuts him off with a deep, long kiss, caressing his body in small circles, moving lower and lower

Spike's eyes go wide and screams a muffled 'holy shit!' when he feels Applejack brush over him

Applejack then releases his mouth and trails down his body in suckling kisses with added flourishes of her tongue

>A-Applejack! Th- holy crap!

She smiles as she sees how excited he is and gives one long, dragged out lick

and then gets up

>W-What the? why'd you stop?

Applejack smirks

"Ya'll want the rest, yer gonna hafta jus' come back alive."

>... Well, call me motivated.

"Ya always are, just wanted to give ya some extra incentive."

She leans in

"An' when you make it back, Ah'm gonna suck. You. Dry."

Spike shivers and gulps hard

>I... Yes, I get the message

Suddenly, the normal, friendly Applejack is back and smiling

"Good fer you! Now Ah think ya still got some fancy doo dads fer yer expedition ya need ta grab!"

Spike leaves the room, having put on pants to for decency's sake, and muttered to himself

>Shit, I hope I'm not walking around with this for the whole trip, that would just be awkward.

LESS CLOPPY ENDING

>Spike
"Rarity"
'AJ'
~~~
Spike stumbles out of Applejack's office red faced

"Spike? Are you alright?"

>PERFECTLY FINE.

"What did Applejack have to say to you?"

>NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. BE IN MY BUNK, NO CALLS!

Spike darts off to his room while Rarity decides to get the word from the horse's mouth herself

'Well howdy there, Rars!'

"Applejack, just what did you want to talk about with Spike?"

Applejack's smile becomes a grin and a blush crosses her own face

'Jus' givin' 'im some motivation ta make it back in one piece.'
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>Spike
"DT"
~~~~

>So did you want to come too?

"...Pffft Hahahahah.....HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ....haaaaa~~~
........Fuck no. You're on your own."
Walks away
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>29
"MM"
'Trixie'
[Zecora]
~~~~~

>M-more tea, missy prissy pants?

"T-t-t-haaank you, Bugsington, I would love some."

'...This is silly.'

>HUSH!

[Indeed, of all of the requests this has by far the least danger. Of all of the things she could ask, I can imagine stranger.]

>Thank you for your input, Stripsy the zebra.

[...]

>...She's from another time.

'Is anyone else's chair cutting into their rear? Trixie's GREAT and MAGNIFICENT ass is starting to get sore.'

[My rump as well, is starting to swell.]

"I can see why, you guy's have more junk back there than I do. At least an eight and a six, respectively."

'...'

[...]

"...I CAN LOOK!"

>Now missy prissy pants, no need to shout... or try to sully the mind of those so innocent they would only ask for a tea party after being left alone on a deserted island.

'HOLY SH-UMP!'

>I SAID NO!

"... I share her sentiment, if not her language."

[I am with you both as well, that is one secret I wish you would not tell.]

>Yeah, well...

He sipped his tea from his tiny toy cup, and readjusted his pink bonnet.

>... I'm hoping her parents get their just deserts...

"..."
'...'
[...]

*FLASH!*

'MY EYES!'

"Was she waiting for that?"

>No... no I'm pretty sure she just didn't want to live on this planet anymore after that.

"I don't blame her."

[...Can I have more tea? Two sugars for me.]

>Of course!

[Thank you bugsington, you are most kind. This is actually a nice way to unwind.]

'AHHHHH!'

[Quiet you.]
~~

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>AJ56
“Luna”
_______

“56?”

>Yes, my dear, sweet, plump-rumped mare?

“We wanted to know- wait… i-is it really still so big…?”

>The biggest!

It was always cute to watch as those red patches of embarrassment lit up the lunar princess’s cheeks.

“W-well… be that as it may, our posterior aside… we are most intrigued by what you’re doing. Enlighten us.”

>Hm? Enlighten ya to what, Moons?

And 56 looked up from his checklist, pencil in hoof and beaming his trademark smile. Behind him, however, was a comically huge rucksack, one filled to the brim with an assortment of items. Items that brought out Luna’s curiosity in the first place, like that rubber duck hanging out the side there, or that hockey puck tied to the skillet.

“…Where is it you think you’re going?”

>Oh! You mean the- right, right, ha! I’m goin’ with Spike down to where my brother 77 came out from, that one busted toilet! Yeah, see, from what I’ve heard there’s this-

In a spark of magic, Luna’s horn lit up like a bonfire. An instant later, the backpack behind 56 burst into a sea of midnight purple flames and was no more than ash before a blink could be had.

>…

“Really? How do you plan on going when you’ve not even prepared properly?”

There was something ominous about the look in Luna’s face and 56 stared from her to the bitter remains of his backpack.

He turned back to Luna and jumped in spot when she was suddenly so close she could’ve nipped him on the nose if so inclined.

Her eyes were eerily wide, head slightly titled and ears taut.

“Well? We asked a question, 56. How exactly do you plan on going when you're so ill-prepared?”

>I, uh… I guess I’m… not? I’m not going…?

“Oh.”

Luna straightened up with a half-smile.

“If that’s the decision you’ve come to, we won’t argue it.”

>…

“Now then, come with us.”

>W-why?

“Our rear is rather sore thanks to a long sit-in with some of the dignitaries. Even though your obsession with our backside is vexing, we figure you might do us the favor of a hind massage?”

All pretense of journeying with Spike flew right out the window when Luna turned around, her expansive ass catching 56’s eyes like a bee to honey. He followed after her almost as though hypnotized, catching every jiggle, bounce, and sway of that perfect rear.

>It’d be my pleasure!
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Power. It had power here.

Among the ice and windswept tundra, it had taken a foothold, slowly stretching out its reach. Electric pools of blue gel marked the frigid wasteland, linked together like a crazy game of connect-the-dots. Pillars of cyan crystal had sprung up too - jagged spires mixed with ice, slowly pulsing with an ever-changing hue.

Its prison of stone had long since dissolved - converted to more gel in its ongoing conquest. Only the crater remained as evidence it had ever been there.

In another pool, its champion rested, unborn. There had been sufficient biological artifacts to take an imprint, and begin its creation. Fluid had poured into the crevasse at its conception, directing material, and re-purposing it, shaping it into an organic form - muscles, organs, nerves, and a hard shell around its body.

And it had grown.
Not yet was its incubation complete, but that time would come soon...

It stretched out into its new home, searching for things it could assimilate.

There was something here. It could sense it. A dying stream of energy, hidden under the snow. Glowing tendrils twisted through the cold, searching for the source.

There it was, deep beneath the ice - a lifeless construct, in a natural prison. Leeching into the spaces between its joints, the electric blue gel exerted its power over the motionless crystal.

Nothing. Odd. It was not used to failure.
The energies it leaked were unfamiliar - it would have to adapt to this new obstacle. That would take time.
There was no rush, it was patient.

But now it knew what to look for - there would be more sources of this new energy, as well as these constructs.
It would claim them all.

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>Chitania
"Little Strongheart"
~~~~~~

>So... you have gods... but they're...

"Invisible, yes."

>And also-

"Cannot directly effect you, or effect you when you are paying attention."

>...And they are also-

"The spirits of our relatives, yes."

>...But you can't-

"Punch them, no. They are as the wind or the stars, nothing but flickers of something greater."

>...

"...It makes sense to us."

>Ah.

"Feeling like punching out our chief was not worthy of that information?"

>Oh no, I still would have done that, he wouldn't stop staring at my ass.

"He does that. Um..."

>...Yes, it's a festival necklace. The one you get for winning a brawl in Coltsburg's running of the bulls.

"Isn't that going on right now?"

>It still was, like, an hour ago. Why?

"...no reason."
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>Spike
"Two"
'Blueblood'
___________

>...
"..."
'...'

>Huh.

'Did that little creature just throw a marshmallow at my f-'

Another marshmallow struck him in the nose.

"I sure did, ya big jerk! An' look, I got plenty more right here if ya try anything funny!"

'...'

>*whispering*If you value your life you'll act like that's the worst threat you've ever received.

'OH PLEASE MIGHTY ONE! DO NOT PELT ME FURTHER WITH YOUR TERRIBLE MIGHT! NEVER AGAIN WILL I STEP OUT OF LINE!'

As menacingly as she could, Two shook a hoof full of marshmallows at the faux-trembling stallion and Blueblood shrank away behind Spike.

"That's right, ya better be scared!"

Then she nodded firmly at Spike and handed him some of her treats.

"Here, these'll keep him in line, and don't be afraid to use 'em! Not-mom says ya gotta be firm or they won't ever learn!"

>Thank you, Two.

Her job done, Two narrowed her eyes at Blueblood once more and then strolled away with an accomplished smile.

'...'
>...

'That was the cutest damn thing I've ever seen in my life....'

>Right?

'While my dislike of you hasn't diminished hardly a tick, I suddenly feel more inspired to make sure things stay safe around here.'

>Uh-huh, Two has that affect on people. So... want a marshmallow?

'After that, yes, I think I need one.'
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>Applejack
"Celestia"
'SA'
[Chrysalis]
~~~~

>Celestia? Ah've got a weird expense here, and...

"Applejack! How goes it?"

>...What are ya' doin'?

"Making an informative film to be screened before major releases, I'm calling it a Public Insight Service Screening. It's to bring to light issues that my citizens deal with in movie form!"

>...

'She blackmailed me into this.'

>How?

'She said she'd cry if I didn't.'

>And?

'...I don't like it when she cries.'

>What about her?

[Promised me this table of food.]

>So... what're ya' talkin' about?

"Violence. There has been the oddest rash of physical violence springing up all over Equestria. Multiple ponies are beating the tar out of my guards for little reason! Just flies off the hinges and starts beating. So, I'm filming this so that we can illustrate just how harmful that can be."

>So... yer' gonna beat up Shiny?

"Oh no! No no no no no! I'd never hurt him. I'm going to have Chrysalis turn into him for that."

[What was that?]

"Nothing! Go back to your table!"

[Fine I will!... frikken mumblers.]

>...Alright, go for it.

"Glad you understand. Now, let me put on my cap here-"

>No.

"...What?"

>No.

"Applejack, I just have to-"

>Ya' look ridiculous.

'Told you so.'

"Quiet you, I'm hip!"

>Please tell me ya' didn't write this script.

"...Why? What's wrong with it?"

>...Shiny, read a line, please?

'Do I have to?... Fine. A-hem. "Yo! Big C! I can't help but notice how crazy yo' cap is lookin'!" And then she gets mad and hits me.'

>...

"...Cadence wrote it, actually."

>...That explains nothin', and adds so many more questions.

[Are we done yet?]

"Almost!... Look, this never has to see print, but I absolutely have to hit her."

>... Okay. Ya'll have fun.

"We will! Ohhhh, Chrysalis! Your big moment is coming up!"

[Awesome! What do I need to do?]

"Disguise yourself as Shiny and... hold... still..."

[This is a porno, right?]

"Someone in this room is getting off on what's about to happen, yes."
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>Spike
"Blueblood"
'Rekulk'
-AJ's note-

>...

"..."

'...'

"So did the evil monsters in the caves know we were coming?"

It was quite an odd sight, seeing the disgraced unicorn noble hiding behind the young dragon, both staring at the encounter suit-clad creature that stood before them.

>I, uh, I got this. Hey, buddy, mind moving? We got places we need to be.

"Yes, please, provoke it."

'Spiiiiiiiiike?'

>Yeah? That's me, what do you need?

'Joiiiiiiin...'

"Oh no, I am NOT going near that thing in the daylight, let alone down in those caverns!"

>Why are YOU wanting in on this?

'Aaaaapple...traaaaade...'

"He's trading apples...can I use the sword on him? He's obviously insane."

>Quiet, I'm-hey, what's that on your neck?

Spike grabs a piece of paper from where it had been tied to the creature's neck.

-Dear Spike, I know I can't convince you to not go through with this, but I figured I could lend you some help. This is Rekulk, he's a Morlock, he apparently knows the caverns better than anyone, and since 77's not going, he could be useful. He's apparently bound by some kind of 'Trade Bond' mumbo jumbo, so I doubt he'll pull a double cross. Come home safe, loverboy, AJ.-

>Hmm...

"Good penmanship."

The Morlock nods.

>So you know how to navigate down there.

'Yessss...'

>And you're trustworthy?

'Yessss...'

"You know he could be lying."

>If he is, I'll tie him up, take him back up here and throw him in a tanning booth.

'DIIIIIEEEEE...'

>Exactly...you'll be able to take that thing off and talk, right?

Nod.

Spike shrugs.

>What the hell, if applebutt vouches for him.

"I don't know what's more ludicrous, this idea, or that petname."

'Ruuuuuuude...'

>I like you already.
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>Spike
"Rekulk"
'Blueblood'
~~~
"Traaaaade?"

'Pardon?'

>I think that's pretty obvious. alright, Rekulk, what are you interested in?

"Shiiiiiny."

>You want Twil- oh! No! No no no! Charity stays with me, understand?

Rekulk nods

>Can I interest you in something else?

"Indestructable.... Kniiiiiiife."

>Indestructible? It's just made of carbon steel, spring loaded- oh, you guys haven't figured out metallurgy, huh? Well, I could trade you, what'cha got?

"Ear buuuuuuuds and biiiill's haaaat."

'... It's a good trade, Spike, take it!'

>No, I wouldn't feel right. Hey, buddy, want me to spice up the trade on my end?

Rekulk seems intrigued when spike pulls out a pocket watch, a revolver, and an icicle

>I'll sweeten the deal with a dead ringer, an enforcer, and a spycicle, how about that?

"Deeeeaaaaaaal!"

Trade in progress...

...

...

Trade successful!

>I still feel like i screwed the guy over.

'you did, very much.'

"Ssssssstoooout... Shakoooooooo..."

>Uh... I'm open to offers? But I really like this hat. And the octopus is tough to keep up there.

"Twoooooo... refiiiiiiiiined?"

>...that's a little low, man... buuuuuut I guess after those buds and Bill's, it's only fair. You got it.
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>PJ
"77"
'42'
~~~~~

>Maaaan, this sucks. Why can't I go? I don't have to guard anyone like you two do. This is a load of greenspit.

"If you have an issue, you are free to go take it up with her Majesty. She will be very... receptive, I'm sure."

'...Nothing in the world scares me more than watching you shudder like that.'

"Her Highness is most... persuasive when she wishes to be."

>Still sucks.

'What good would you be anyway? You're not exactly in an area where you can use that maneuver gear.'

>I still have my swords!

'Pfft, Shining Armor back when he was a lazy sod could kick your ass if you had to rely on swords alone.'

>Sorry, couldn't hear you, all I heard was 'hugalgulugluglugl! MMM! Shiny's dick is so tasty!'

*CRACK!*

>OW! I think you broke something!

'You think? THEN I DIDN'T HIT YOU HARD ENOUGH!'

>Alright! Alright! I'm sorry, too far. Way too far, I get it. I'm just going a little stir crazy, sorry.

"Really, you should know better than to go for the crush she has, it may as well be a giant red 'rage' button."

'I WILL END YOU!'

>Ow... you know, 77, I'd believe her. She looks angry. And she killed you once.

'Still, you bring up an excellent point, PJ. You are not quite being as useful to the hive as you can be.'

>Er...

'I will discuss the matter with her highness, and we can see if there is something we can do to... fill your schedule.'

>Awwww man...

'In the meantime, I would like to remind you that our Queen has decreed any attempt to enter into those caverns is a declaration of treason. As such, if I do not see that bag you are hiding unpacked within the hour, I will start hurting you.'

>It's for a camping trip!

'...'

>...FIIIINE! MOM!

'I am not, nor will I ever be, your mother. Good day to you, and I will see you at the next meeting.'

>...She can be a jerk sometimes.

"Yes... but she's also right most times, so I'd heed her call... or else."

>...Friggen... only one with any sense of adventure, I swear.
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Further non-canons
>Spike
"Celestia"
'77'
[Applejack]
~~~
"Excuse me, but... Weren't you four going to find the spider changeling and not just is near the entrance and trade?"

>But Rekluk's got some great things to trade for! Hey, 77, I got you that Bill's Hat you always wanted.

'Ohmigosh!THANKYOU! This will go great with my Eyelander and Cool Breeze!'

77 happily plops it on his head

>And for you, Sunbutt, I got you some earbuds!

"... I can finally have these without needing to buy a hipster shit system!"

>Right, anyone have any trade requests or offers for Rekluk?

[Ah'm lookin' fer a grizzled growth mahself.]
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>77
"32"
'2'
~~~
>Hello, brother- Oh, and hello, princess.

'Hiya, 77! You look sad! Do you need another hug?'

>No, I'm quite al-

'Hugs!'

"Hello to you too. What brings you to this dark, dank, dungeon."

>I've been meaning to speak with you, both so as not to burn bridges, to help you retain some sanity, though at the moment to ask a favor.

77 looks around

>This place doesn't seem very dank or dark anymore though.

'I redecorated!'

"Y-Yes, she did."

>She does brighten worlds.

"Before my pride bubbles away further, what is it you come seeking."

>Spike is taking Blueblood, the former prince into... Well, the caverns.

For all his time down there, 32 still seems visibly shocked

"Well... I see... But he's a capable individual, a dragon at that, I'm sure he'll be fine-"

>Brother, please! He could get hurt! I need to know if you've compiled anything of you knowledge on that place!

'Spike could get hurt?'

>Very.

'And you can help, right, 32?'

".... Argh, yes. Alright. As it so happens I did compile a sort of field guide, I kept it in the Gun Club room in the piano bench. It's far from complete. I also have a few pages here."

>Thank you.

'Thank you, 32!'

She hugs him through the bars, he tries to remain as brooding and indifferent as possible and just looks more ridiculous

>'Drownies'? I don't remember encountering those. And who is 'Pri'zzt'?

"Ah! Give those back! Those are... Story notes I was making for when I considered joining the DnD games."

'You're working on another story?'

>Another?

"Well, not anymore, 2, but, yes, we're collaborating on something. A story she came up with since Shining Armor has no interest in Power Ponies anymore."

'It's called Axe Guard! It's about a guard, who one day, at the scene of a fire found the perfect axe!'

>... Interesting.

"It actually is, I help with the story but mostly I do the rough sketches. Oh, and here's the actual notes."

>Thank you... I will be back later, after I turn over these.
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>77
"42"

It is time, as it usually is, for the change of 'supervisor' in the changeling ballroom.

>Sister you're looking...rather miffed, what is the cause of this?

"I went to try and talk 32's head out of his ass again."

>An effort Hoofcules would call impossible.

"I-who?"

>Pegasus mythology is a wonder to behold.

"Riiiight, anyway, I went down there and things got violent. I got to go speak to Two and Eighteen."

>How does individual A relate to individuals B and C in this equeation?

"I headbutted 32."

>Yes, and?

"He got a broken nose."

>As opposed to being in pristine condition?

"As opposed to being knocked the hell out! I pressed the bastard for how he was able to stay conscious and he said Eighteen and Two had been giving him love on the sly!"

>What in the Queen's name would they be doing down there?

"I don't know. Two, well, she'd give love to a Morlock-"

>Perish the thought.

"-but Eighteen should know better. I need to explain to them that that traitorous scumbag is off limits. One more emphatically than the other."

>I wasn't aware he was 'off limits'...

"Well not to us, obviously, we're the most qualified to beat some sense into him."

>Right...I wasn't aware I was cleared to visit him in order to do that, either.

"What have you been doing?"

>Trying to just...speak to him.

"I don't mean beat the fuck out of him, it's a metaphorical beating, verbal. It'd be better for all involved if he just forgot his bullshit and rejoined the hive."

>Agreed, somewhat, but Pegasopolis was not built in a day. This will take patience.

"How much patience?"

77 smiles.

>About the same amount you all showed me when I first arrived.

"You didn't try to kill the Queen."

>No but I did try to kill quite literally everyone else.

"True, but you didn't."

>Well 32 didn't succeed in killing the Queen. I'm merely trying to save him from himself, sister, and perhaps our two sisters are trying the same.

"I'll...keep that in mind."

>As one of our brothers once told me, 'We're all we have left', and I would rather 32 see the light than be dragged back into the dark. It may take all of us to do so, my history with him, Two's innocence, PJ's insight, Eighteen's...well, I don't know how acumen and impersonation applies to this, but I'm certain her help is appreciated.

"And me?"

77 gave a small chuckle.

>One of has to headbutt the fool when he starts to walk astray. If you'll excuse me, I need to see a few ponies about...something...

77 walks away as 42 looks on curiously.

"And to think a few months ago, he had his own flash bomb blow up in his face. Wonder what he meant about seeing ponies abou-HEY! You! I see you there! Put! The Lighter! Down!"
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>Chrysalis
"Twilight"
~~~~~

>Well, if it isn't the lavender librarian herself! What bring you all the way down to the empire, off for another little 'play date' with Shiny?

"That's Tuesday. And trust me when I say, I was really, really apprehensive about showing you this, but my need to know overpowered the mountain of common sense that told me to chuck this tablet into a fire and run. I have a problem."

>Oooooh, more Changeling paraphernalia? How do you keep finding these?

"It is WAY easier thanks to 42 telling me how you guys used to hide."

>Alright, let's see what-AHHHHH!

"WHAT!?"

>Sorry! Sorry... bad memories. That, uh, that was Auntie Sciderella. Her colony was... fucking horrifying.

"So then, I take it those spider legs are NOT just for show?"

>She was... efficient in getting love. Had a real problem making it last, though. Tended to eat her targets before she was even done draining.

"Delightful."

>Yeah, even mom didn't mess with her. Just one of those things you did not deal with and prayed they would all die in a fire.

"So the spider legs were natural?"

>Fuck no, they grew those with magic. It was like the weapon trick but hopped up on dream-mushrooms and nightmares. They could hide them too, obviously, which was by far the worst part. Even when we picked up stragglers from other colonies, mom told me not to let any of Sciderella's in, and shoot them if they tried.

"Please tell me they're all dead."

>Thankfully, yes. A lot of them got sick, but they mostly died by the cannibalism. Sciderella thought they were going to turn against her, and...

"..."

>...They gave her indigestion. So whenever you think, "Hey, the awesome Queen Chrysalis was mean back when" I want you to remember. Your brother could have gotten with a giant spider monster instead, and Cadence... well, she did stuff to who she replaced... dissolvey stuff.

Without another word, Twilight chucked the tablet to the side, and lit it on fire.

"Fuck that."

>Come back anytime!
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