Little Monsters (2019)

1
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,800
<i>I just want to be able to go out</i>

2
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,469
<i>and have a nice night for once.
Is that too much to ask?</i>

3
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:13,137
<i>One thing I fuck up
in the last nine years.</i>

4
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,722
<i>- One thing?
- Eight years in a row...</i>

5
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,224
<i>It's literally the most important things</i>

6
00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:17,725
<i>you have to remember in a relationship.</i>

7
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:18,727
<i>That's not the right way
to use "literally".</i>

8
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,186
<i>Uh, I know the difference</i>

9
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,104
<i>between literal and figurative
language, Dave!</i>

10
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,690
<i>You get something on me
and never let it go.</i>

11
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,107
<i>Come on!
I knew it was your birthday!</i>

12
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,068
<i>'Cause you saw it on Facebook!</i>

13
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:28,653
<i>That's how most people
remember birthdays!</i>

14
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,112
<i>I just want
a little bit of respect, Dave.</i>

15
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,114
<i>Why does everything
have to be an argument?</i>

16
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,117
<i>- Why do you think?!
- You're the one raising your voice!</i>

17
00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:36,077
<i>'Cause it's the only way I can be heard!</i>

18
00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:37,746
<i>- You're like a child!
- I'm like a child?</i>

19
00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:38,913
<i>Yeah, you're like a child!</i>

20
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:41,667
<i>You're the one shouting at me!
You started shouting first!</i>

21
00:00:41,668 --> 00:00:43,751
- I knew this was coming.
- Not one present!

22
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,671
There's a version of this...
there's a version of this

23
00:00:45,672 --> 00:00:46,922
where we've had
a really lovely time together.

24
00:00:46,923 --> 00:00:48,756
Just buy me a fucking present.

25
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:50,384
Maybe that would be a nice thing to do.

26
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,188
- Just because Stevie cooks one meal...
- Yeah?

27
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,358
...doesn't mean suddenly we all
have to know how to wash rice!

28
00:01:06,359 --> 00:01:08,005
What are you fucking
talking about, Dave?!

29
00:01:08,006 --> 00:01:09,652
I'm talking about it's a different thing!

30
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:12,322
Oh, my God! It's about
being a fucking grown-up!

31
00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:14,157
I am being a grown-up!
Have a look!

32
00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:22,081
Just get what I asked you!

33
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,125
- ...and pumpkin activated...
- Just get what I asked you!

34
00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:26,128
- ...fucking quinoa-stuffed...
- Not that one! I need this one!

35
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,128
It's pumpkin and red lentil!

36
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:31,049
I just want to take you home with me.
Yes, I do.

37
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,729
Listen! Dave!

38
00:01:43,730 --> 00:01:45,564
Fucking listen to me!

39
00:01:45,565 --> 00:01:47,420
No! I said no. No!

40
00:01:47,421 --> 00:01:49,275
No! Listen.

41
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:52,196
Calm down! Calm down! Listen!

42
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,783
Mate, move on. Move on.

43
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,473
Mate, you've got to move on.
Come on. Get a move on.

44
00:01:59,474 --> 00:02:01,162
- Pack it up, get out of here.
- What are you doing?

45
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,789
- I make an effort every day!
- Dave... You don't even...

46
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,875
I'm making an effort
right now being here!

47
00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,796
I'll get you something next week!

48
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,839
You don't!
You fucking don't, Dave!

49
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,800
Get yourself a present,
wrap it up from me! See if I care!

50
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,760
Oh, my God!

51
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,797
<i>Well, gosh, gee, golly-o!</i>

52
00:02:51,798 --> 00:02:54,006
<i>I do love a good song, Frogsie!</i>

53
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,759
<i>I love singing so much, Teddy!</i>

54
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,136
<i>And I love singing with you, Frogsie!</i>

55
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,723
Mommy says you're staying with us.

56
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,767
How long will you be here?

57
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,604
Go to school, Felix.

58
00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:09,690
I've been to school.

59
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,358
What time is it?

60
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,110
It's Teddy McGiggle time.

61
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,738
Mc... What?! Where's your mom?

62
00:03:16,739 --> 00:03:17,780
At the shops.

63
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:20,033
If you're staying,
does that mean we can hang out lots?

64
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,702
No. Make me a coffee.

65
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,225
I can't make coffee.
I'm five.

66
00:03:25,226 --> 00:03:27,749
Do you want to play with my toy tractor?

67
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:28,791
No.

68
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:31,837
Look, Uncle David hit Mommy's
booze cabinet pretty hard.

69
00:03:31,838 --> 00:03:33,671
Ohh, fuck!

70
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,694
That's a bad word, Uncle David.

71
00:03:35,695 --> 00:03:37,477
<i>The McGiggle dance!</i>

72
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,261
<i>A-one, two, three, go!</i>

73
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:45,309
<i>We're coming down under, kiddlywinks!</i>

74
00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:47,019
What's this, Uncle David?

75
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,815
Pew, pew! Pew! Pew!

76
00:03:51,816 --> 00:03:54,776
Pew! Pew! Pew!

77
00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:57,738
Pew, pew! Pew, pew!
Pew! Pew! Pew!

78
00:03:57,739 --> 00:03:59,739
Pew, pew, pew, pew! Pew, pew!

79
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,095
What do you think you're doing?

80
00:04:01,096 --> 00:04:02,451
Relax. He's really good at it.

81
00:04:02,452 --> 00:04:03,743
Whoa! What are you doing?!

82
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:04,828
You're not meant to turn it off like that!

83
00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:05,786
You'll damage the hardware!

84
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,455
Don't expose him
to that sort of violence.

85
00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:09,124
- It's not real!
- That's not the point.

86
00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:11,542
He's five.
What's wrong with you?

87
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,212
Come and help me unpack
the shopping, fluffy duck.

88
00:04:13,213 --> 00:04:14,253
We're having pizza for dinner.

89
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,507
Pizza? Thank fuck! I'm starving!

90
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,467
Oh, fuck off!

91
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,553
Could someone tell me what
the fuck that is meant to be?

92
00:04:21,554 --> 00:04:23,388
- Dave!
- Mommy, he did it again.

93
00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:24,764
I will kick you out.

94
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,725
I don't care what you're going through.

95
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,895
- What is that?
- Tofu.

96
00:04:29,896 --> 00:04:30,770
And this?

97
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,773
It's broccoli.
It's a kind of vegetable.

98
00:04:32,774 --> 00:04:33,814
You like eating this?

99
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,776
Yes. And so does my tractor.

100
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,487
- Where's the cheese?
- I can't have cheese.

101
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:41,365
You know he can't have dairy.
He's anaphylactic.

102
00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:43,742
I'm allergic to fish, dairy, eggs,

103
00:04:43,743 --> 00:04:45,159
sesame, nuts, and gluten.

104
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,328
No one's allergic to gluten.
It's a fad.

105
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,331
Don't joke, Dave.
It's a life-threatening condition.

106
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:51,979
So is what I'm going through.

107
00:04:51,980 --> 00:04:54,627
Oh, Boo-Boo!

108
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,546
Why did you call him Boo-Boo?

109
00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:58,423
It's what I used to call your uncle
when he was your age.

110
00:04:58,424 --> 00:04:59,799
Boo-Boo!

111
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,717
No, see, you don't get to call me that.

112
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,220
You call me Uncle David,
Uncle Dave, D-Man, or Big D.

113
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:06,723
I had too much stuff going on
with the band, all right?

114
00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:07,765
I couldn't get tied down.

115
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:12,061
Miss Caroline plays the ukulele
and we all sing Taylor Swift songs.

116
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:15,190
Well, you be sure to tell Miss Caroline
that she can go and suck a bag of dicks.

117
00:05:15,191 --> 00:05:16,191
Dave!

118
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,736
Teddy McGiggle says
to sing the bad word song

119
00:05:19,737 --> 00:05:21,780
when you hear a grown-up say a bad word.

120
00:05:21,781 --> 00:05:24,198
Do you want to hear it?
- No.

121
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,785
♪ Bad word, bad word!
'Cause you said a bad thing ♪

122
00:05:26,786 --> 00:05:28,703
♪ Now we all have to sing ♪

123
00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:30,225
♪ Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪

124
00:05:30,226 --> 00:05:31,747
♪ Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la... ♪

125
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,793
All Sara would ever go on about
was having kids, okay?

126
00:05:34,794 --> 00:05:36,419
That's why we fought all the time.

127
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,547
Dave, there are plenty of things
to be scared of in this world,

128
00:05:38,548 --> 00:05:39,798
but having a kid isn't one of them.

129
00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:41,299
I came out of a test tube.

130
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:42,800
Yeah, I know you did, Felix.

131
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:46,763
Dave, there is nothing that says
you have to end up like Dad.

132
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:51,768
Felix, could you please tell your mom
that I'm now gonna go down to Domino's

133
00:05:51,769 --> 00:05:53,770
and get myself a proper
cheese-covered pizza,

134
00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:55,146
with a side of gluten?

135
00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:56,731
Mommy, Uncle David...

136
00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:58,065
You don't have to say it, Felix.

137
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,735
Your uncle isn't making
good choices right now.

138
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:02,279
You know, when you get yourself
a pair of big-boy pants,

139
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,239
you realize there's more to life
than tractors!

140
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,616
Fuckin' tractors!

141
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:09,745
Uncle David is so serious,
isn't he, Mommy?

142
00:06:09,746 --> 00:06:11,705
Yes, my little fluffy duck.
He is.

143
00:06:11,706 --> 00:06:13,790
Quack.

144
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:18,774
So, do you remember where we're up to?

145
00:06:18,775 --> 00:06:20,307
Where they got away from the witches.

146
00:06:20,308 --> 00:06:22,033
That's right.
They're in Norway,

147
00:06:22,034 --> 00:06:23,759
and they're safe at Grandma's house.

148
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,802
"She was wearing a lace dress

149
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,534
"and the lace kept tickling my nose.

150
00:06:29,535 --> 00:06:32,266
"I had to rest my head on my front paws.

151
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,770
"'Have you ever heard my heart
humming away, Grandmama?'

152
00:06:34,771 --> 00:06:36,729
"I asked her.

153
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:37,772
"'Often, ' she said.

154
00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:40,317
"'I hear it when you're lying
very close to me

155
00:06:40,318 --> 00:06:42,693
"'on the pillow at night.'

156
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,738
"The two of us remained silent
in front of the fire

157
00:06:44,739 --> 00:06:46,739
"for a long time after that,

158
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,742
"thinking about
these wonderful things.

159
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:53,372
"'My darling, ' she said at last,
are you sure you don't mind

160
00:06:53,373 --> 00:06:55,707
"'being a mouse
for the rest of your life?'

161
00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:58,751
"'I don't mind at all, ' I said.

162
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,796
"'It doesn't matter who you are
or what you look like,

163
00:07:00,797 --> 00:07:02,756
'as long as somebody
loves you.'"

164
00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:19,731
Felix, get up! Felix!

165
00:07:19,732 --> 00:07:21,275
Get up! I need your help.

166
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:26,738
So, when you see her,
you breathe as Darth Vader

167
00:07:26,739 --> 00:07:27,780
and then you say...

168
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,073
"Hello, Aunty Sara.

169
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:31,493
I am Darth Vader.
May the Force be with us."

170
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:32,535
Do it properly, Felix.

171
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,079
When the mask is on,
you remain in character.

172
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,746
"Hello, Aunty Sara.

173
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:38,541
I am Darth Vader.
May the Force be with us."

174
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:41,753
Yeah! Daniel Day-Lewis just
came everywhere in his pants!

175
00:07:41,754 --> 00:07:44,255
Okay. Now, can you hold up the sign?

176
00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:46,758
I'll come in and take care of the rest.

177
00:07:46,759 --> 00:07:47,758
Yes, Uncle David.

178
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,762
I mean...
...yes, Uncle David.

179
00:07:50,763 --> 00:07:51,763
All right.

180
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:55,933
Do it, Darth.

181
00:07:57,770 --> 00:07:59,646
What...?

182
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,523
Aunty Sara.

183
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:02,648
Felix?!

184
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,734
I am Darth Vader.

185
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,486
Felix, what are you doing here?

186
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:08,362
What? No!

187
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,741
What the fuck are you doing?!
- I live here!

188
00:08:10,742 --> 00:08:12,743
Yeah, well...
who the fuck is that?!

189
00:08:12,744 --> 00:08:14,744
- Rory.
- That's Rory from work.

190
00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:17,247
Well, do me a favor and get Rory
from work out of your vagina!

191
00:08:17,248 --> 00:08:19,124
- Don't go anywhere, Rory.
- Is this Dave?

192
00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:20,791
Yeah, hi, Rory. I'm Dave.

193
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,877
I'm Sara's boyfriend
of nine fucking years.

194
00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:24,546
Can you watch your language
around the kid, please?

195
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,798
I am not a kid.
I am Darth Vader.

196
00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:28,717
May the Force be with us.

197
00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:31,220
Oh, yeah.

198
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,639
Yeah, you fucked up, didn't you, Sara?

199
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:34,931
Because I was gonna marry you.

200
00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:36,767
I was possibly gonna give you a baby.

201
00:08:36,768 --> 00:08:38,726
I even made this engagement ring

202
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,479
out of a pipe-cleaner
I found under Felix's bed.

203
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:41,771
No, you do this.

204
00:08:41,772 --> 00:08:44,733
You say one thing.
You never come through.

205
00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:46,776
Hello? I was just about to!

206
00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:49,738
I don't mean marriage and a baby, Dave!

207
00:08:49,739 --> 00:08:51,280
I needed you to love me.

208
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,533
And you're incapable of loving
anyone but yourself.

209
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,911
At least I'm not stuffing
real estate agent dick in me

210
00:08:55,912 --> 00:08:56,744
the first chance I get!

211
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,413
- That's enough.
- Oh, what are you gonna do?!

212
00:08:58,414 --> 00:09:00,915
You need to watch your language!

213
00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,793
You need to stop having sex
in front of kids!

214
00:09:02,794 --> 00:09:03,835
Don't talk to Rory like that.

215
00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:05,796
Rory is more in touch
with his emotional self

216
00:09:05,797 --> 00:09:06,921
than you'll ever be.

217
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:09,758
The only thing Rory is in touch
with is your slutty vagina!

218
00:09:09,759 --> 00:09:11,217
- Not cool.
- Yeah?

219
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,761
"Not cool" this, motherfuck...

220
00:09:12,762 --> 00:09:13,929
Arggh! Jesus!

221
00:09:13,930 --> 00:09:15,096
Arggh! Arggh!

222
00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:16,640
- Oh, God! Fuck!
- That's it.

223
00:09:16,641 --> 00:09:17,765
- Calm down!
- Yuck!

224
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:18,808
Your dick's on my arm!
Your sweaty dick!

225
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,768
- It's disrespectful!
- Shit! No, shit! Okay!

226
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,770
- Come on, easy, buddy!
- Are you gonna behave yourself?

227
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:24,773
- There's a kid here, man! Ohh!
- Are we good now?

228
00:09:24,774 --> 00:09:26,733
- Yes?
- Arggh! Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

229
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,778
I'm sorry I had to resort to violence.

230
00:09:29,779 --> 00:09:30,820
Fucking Rory!

231
00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,780
Violence is never the answer.

232
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:35,784
If you only knew
the power of the Dark Side.

233
00:09:35,785 --> 00:09:36,784
Fucking...

234
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,705
I gave you the best years of my life!

235
00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,749
You saw how much bush was thrown
at me when I was in a band.

236
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:43,791
That was 10 years ago!

237
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,294
Stop going on about the band.
It's pathetic.

238
00:09:46,295 --> 00:09:48,797
Yeah, well, I never screwed anyone else.

239
00:09:48,798 --> 00:09:50,757
I chose to be with you.

240
00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:54,720
There is a big difference
between being with someone

241
00:09:54,721 --> 00:09:56,722
and being there <i>for</i> someone, Dave.

242
00:09:56,723 --> 00:09:57,722
Mmm.

243
00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:59,766
I hope you grow up enough
one day to realize that.

244
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,768
I don't need to do that! You do!

245
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,730
Fucking idiots!

246
00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:13,071
Don't ever expect to see me
back here again!

247
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,747
- Felix?
- I am not Felix. I am Darth Vader.

248
00:10:21,748 --> 00:10:23,269
Darth Vader, now!

249
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,838
Oh, I don't know.

250
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:33,466
Mommy!

251
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,761
I've been trying to call you.
Where the hell have you been?

252
00:10:35,762 --> 00:10:38,721
Uncle David took me
to see Aunty Sara.

253
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,766
Yeah, and guess what Aunty Sara
was doing when we got there?

254
00:10:40,767 --> 00:10:42,893
Having sex with a real estate agent.

255
00:10:42,894 --> 00:10:45,019
- Hang on. What?
- Yeah, I know!

256
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,648
You woke my son up so he could
go see two people having sex?

257
00:10:47,649 --> 00:10:49,315
No, not specifically.

258
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,777
The naked man punched
Uncle Dave on the nose

259
00:10:51,778 --> 00:10:54,696
'cause Aunty Sara has a slutty vagina.

260
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:55,780
I don't believe this.

261
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,740
I know. It's unbelievable!

262
00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,033
I mean, how could she do this to me?

263
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:02,746
If you can't understand
how incredibly inappropriate it is

264
00:11:02,747 --> 00:11:04,373
to take your nephew out
in the middle of the night,

265
00:11:04,374 --> 00:11:05,623
then you can find
somewhere else to stay.

266
00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:08,377
What are you talking about?
He had a great time!

267
00:11:08,378 --> 00:11:09,836
Look, he's Darth Vader!

268
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,192
I am your father, Mommy.

269
00:11:11,193 --> 00:11:12,547
See? He's really good at it.

270
00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:15,759
It's late.
I have a double shift tomorrow.

271
00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:18,470
Get out of my house.

272
00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:24,393
What, are you crying now?

273
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,480
Mommy, you said it's good to cry.

274
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:35,612
Why can't Uncle David
stay on the couch?

275
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,994
Look, if you're gonna stay here,
then you have to start contributing.

276
00:11:41,995 --> 00:11:42,994
Yeah.

277
00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:44,954
Just... put him to bed now.

278
00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:46,956
And you can take him
to school tomorrow.

279
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,042
Can we play the shooty game,
Uncle David?

280
00:11:50,419 --> 00:11:52,212
I don't want us
to get in trouble, Felix.

281
00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:56,007
We'll have to play it with the sound off.

282
00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:59,136
I need to get to class
early for Miss Caroline.

283
00:11:59,137 --> 00:12:00,825
It's my turn to feed Neville.

284
00:12:00,826 --> 00:12:02,670
Is Neville special-needs?

285
00:12:02,671 --> 00:12:04,515
Neville's the class guinea pig.

286
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:07,352
Hey, Felix!
What's for lunch today?

287
00:12:07,353 --> 00:12:09,312
That's Max and Ashton.

288
00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:13,317
They think I'm not strong
because of what Mommy packs me for food.

289
00:12:13,318 --> 00:12:14,984
What fucking douchebags!

290
00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:17,863
Max looks like he could use
a few more tofu pizzas.

291
00:12:17,864 --> 00:12:19,156
Max was the fat one, yeah?

292
00:12:19,157 --> 00:12:20,448
What's a douchebag?

293
00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:23,911
It's a small bag chicks use
to irrigate their vaginas.

294
00:12:23,912 --> 00:12:27,538
I hope you've got yummy
broccoli today, Felix!

295
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:30,584
Was that retarded kid using
irony to make fun of you?

296
00:12:30,585 --> 00:12:32,376
Mickey has spina bifida.

297
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,046
You love broccoli!
You love broccoli!

298
00:12:34,047 --> 00:12:35,379
Hi, Felix!

299
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,132
- Come on, this way!
- Okay!

300
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:38,341
Felix!

301
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:40,636
Look at you slaying puss
in the playground, huh?

302
00:12:40,637 --> 00:12:42,678
Beth is my girlfriend.

303
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,347
Yeah, dog!

304
00:12:44,348 --> 00:12:46,224
Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.

305
00:12:46,225 --> 00:12:48,100
Good morning, Vivienne.

306
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,395
Fuck me! Who is that?

307
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,564
Yes!

308
00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:57,360
And... yes! Nice!

309
00:12:57,361 --> 00:12:59,071
That's Miss Caroline.

310
00:12:59,072 --> 00:13:01,322
Jesus!

311
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:03,282
Felix. Lucky last.

312
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,328
Sorry, Miss Caroline.
I can still feed Neville.

313
00:13:06,329 --> 00:13:08,330
- Max has already fed him.
- Aww!

314
00:13:08,331 --> 00:13:09,622
Ooh! Jeez.

315
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:12,183
Neville will be lucky to have
anything left with that kid around.

316
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,003
Uh... quickly,
put your bags on your hook

317
00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:16,504
and unpack crunch-and-sip.

318
00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:18,674
Come on, mate.
I'll give you a hand with that. Come on.

319
00:13:18,675 --> 00:13:20,008
Hey, hey.

320
00:13:20,009 --> 00:13:21,342
Thank you.

321
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:22,845
I'm Dave. I'm Felix's uncle.

322
00:13:22,846 --> 00:13:24,096
Oh. Audrey.

323
00:13:24,097 --> 00:13:26,305
Oh! Oh.

324
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,307
Oh, Miss Caroline, jeez.

325
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,497
You are just a beacon of positivity
in my little nephew's life.

326
00:13:30,498 --> 00:13:32,688
He talks about you all the time.

327
00:13:32,689 --> 00:13:36,316
Apparently you slay Tay-Tay
on the ukulay-lay?

328
00:13:36,317 --> 00:13:37,692
Oh! I don't know about that.

329
00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:40,904
His mom's going through a weird
breakdowny thing at the moment.

330
00:13:40,905 --> 00:13:42,635
Oh, no. Really?

331
00:13:42,636 --> 00:13:44,365
Yeah. It's bad.

332
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,618
- I had no idea.
- Yeah.

333
00:13:46,619 --> 00:13:47,910
I hope Tess is okay.

334
00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:51,373
Well, thankfully for everyone,
Uncle David is here to help.

335
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:54,083
Oh, dear. He's asleep.

336
00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:55,377
Yeah, I mean,
what's going on with his mom

337
00:13:55,378 --> 00:13:56,795
might be affecting his rhythms.

338
00:13:56,796 --> 00:13:58,379
Don't worry.

339
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:01,175
I'll give him some
special attention today.

340
00:14:01,176 --> 00:14:02,383
Lucky boy.

341
00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,343
Felix doesn't even have a dad!
What a loser!

342
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,388
You know, I don't really
think of him as a nephew.

343
00:14:06,389 --> 00:14:08,390
I think of him as a friend.

344
00:14:08,391 --> 00:14:10,391
My best friend. I love kids.

345
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:13,312
Ooh! What's wrong?

346
00:14:13,313 --> 00:14:14,395
What happened?

347
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,356
Someone hit me with the door!

348
00:14:16,357 --> 00:14:18,337
Let me see. Let me see.

349
00:14:18,338 --> 00:14:20,318
- Oh, no!
- You are fine.

350
00:14:20,319 --> 00:14:22,341
Okay, quickly, sit back down,
so we can get started.

351
00:14:22,342 --> 00:14:24,364
Brave little man, isn't he?

352
00:14:24,365 --> 00:14:26,073
Nice to meet you, David.

353
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,805
It is.
It's so nice to meet you, yeah.

354
00:14:28,806 --> 00:14:31,538
Guess I'll see you later.
- Yeah. Mm-hm.

355
00:14:31,539 --> 00:14:32,852
See you, Felix.
Love you, mate.

356
00:14:32,853 --> 00:14:34,166
Felix!

357
00:14:34,167 --> 00:14:36,335
Love you, matey. See you.

358
00:14:36,336 --> 00:14:37,793
Bye. Have fun.

359
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,921
One, two, three! Eyes on me!

360
00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:42,049
One, two! Eyes on you!

361
00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:44,342
Okay. It's time to...

362
00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:48,847
♪ Make a circle, make a circle ♪

363
00:14:48,848 --> 00:14:53,351
♪ Nice and round, nice and round ♪

364
00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:57,481
♪ Come on, everybody,
come on, everybody... ♪

365
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,364
Miss Caroline!

366
00:15:05,365 --> 00:15:07,281
Oh.

367
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:08,825
- Hello, David.
- Hey.

368
00:15:08,826 --> 00:15:10,368
Y-you can call me Audrey.

369
00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:12,329
Didn't think I was gonna
make it in time for pick-up.

370
00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:14,372
I had this crazy rehearsal.

371
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:17,251
I'm afraid he had
a really rough day today.

372
00:15:17,252 --> 00:15:20,044
- Who did?
- Felix.

373
00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:23,340
Well, it's a good thing my band's
finished rehearsing for the day.

374
00:15:23,341 --> 00:15:24,340
That's my band.

375
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:27,302
- "God's Sledgehammer"?
- That's right.

376
00:15:27,303 --> 00:15:28,386
Is that a Christian band?

377
00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:31,974
No. It's more of a stadium
rock-slash-death metal band.

378
00:15:31,975 --> 00:15:35,142
Oh. 'Cause I'm a Christian, so...

379
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,980
It is a Christian band.
I'm a Christian myself, actually.

380
00:15:37,981 --> 00:15:40,314
- Audrey?
- Oh, hey, Charlotte!

381
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,359
Um, Beth's older brother is really sick.

382
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,318
- Oh, no!
- It's gastro.

383
00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:46,363
But I'm afraid I won't be able
to chaperone the excursion tomorrow.

384
00:15:46,364 --> 00:15:48,322
Oh. Of course.

385
00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:50,951
A lot of my class is off sick
with gastro as well.

386
00:15:50,952 --> 00:15:52,285
I hope I'm not leaving you in the lurch.

387
00:15:52,286 --> 00:15:53,620
Do you think you'll be able
to find someone else?

388
00:15:53,621 --> 00:15:56,164
Hey! That's me!
I'm someone else!

389
00:15:57,291 --> 00:15:58,651
Where are we going, Miss Caroline?

390
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,921
Oh, the Force isn't working!

391
00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:05,924
Okay, so, we take it out of this...

392
00:16:05,925 --> 00:16:07,008
Mm-hmm.

393
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,969
...then you take
the blue safety cap off

394
00:16:08,970 --> 00:16:10,344
and you push the other end in here.

395
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:13,724
So, it's "blue in the sky,
orange in the thigh."

396
00:16:13,725 --> 00:16:15,308
Orange in the thigh!

397
00:16:15,309 --> 00:16:17,351
Yeah, I'm serious.
"Blue in the sky"...

398
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:21,315
"Orange in the thigh."
I've got it. Don't worry. He'll be fine.

399
00:16:21,316 --> 00:16:23,317
Actually looking forward
to spending some quality time

400
00:16:23,318 --> 00:16:24,650
with my little Lord Vader.

401
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,903
Can I bring this tomorrow, Uncle David?

402
00:16:26,904 --> 00:16:29,323
And that's the only reason why you
want to go on this excursion tomorrow?

403
00:16:29,324 --> 00:16:30,845
Yeah. What other reason would there be?

404
00:16:30,846 --> 00:16:32,367
The one that teaches his kindy class.

405
00:16:32,368 --> 00:16:33,826
Miss Caroline? Come on.

406
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:36,246
Every dad has tried
to make a pass at her.

407
00:16:36,247 --> 00:16:37,330
Well, she's a Christian.

408
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:39,541
I'm in a stadium rock-
slash-death metal band.

409
00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:40,208
How's that gonna work?

410
00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,335
Mommy, I nearly had it!

411
00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:43,377
I'm just trying to understand

412
00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:45,380
why you would so readily
volunteer for something

413
00:16:45,381 --> 00:16:46,756
that sounds like your worst nightmare.

414
00:16:46,757 --> 00:16:49,259
Maybe it's because
I'm actually a good person.

415
00:16:49,260 --> 00:16:51,470
God, is that such a crazy idea?

416
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:58,352
F-f-fuck... me!

417
00:16:58,353 --> 00:17:00,312
Jesus, fuck!

418
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,328
♪ But I keep cruisin' ♪

419
00:17:16,329 --> 00:17:19,352
♪ Can't stop, won't stop movin' ♪

420
00:17:19,353 --> 00:17:22,375
♪ It's like I got this music ♪

421
00:17:22,376 --> 00:17:26,379
♪ In my mind
singing it's gonna be alright ♪

422
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:29,382
♪ 'Cause the players gonna
play, play, play, play, play ♪

423
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:32,385
♪ And the haters gonna
hate, hate, hate, hate, hate ♪

424
00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:35,806
♪ Baby, I'm just gonna shake,
shake, shake, shake, shake ♪

425
00:17:35,807 --> 00:17:38,308
♪ I shake it off,
I shake it off ♪

426
00:17:38,309 --> 00:17:39,225
And louder now!

427
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:42,145
♪ Shake it off,
shake it off, uh-uh ♪

428
00:17:42,146 --> 00:17:44,188
♪ I shake it off, shake it off ♪

429
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:47,379
♪ Uh-uh, I shake it off,
shake it off ♪

430
00:17:47,380 --> 00:17:50,571
♪ Uh-uh, I shake it off, shake it off ♪

431
00:17:50,572 --> 00:17:53,282
Yes!

432
00:17:53,283 --> 00:17:56,284
Good job, guys!

433
00:17:56,285 --> 00:17:58,120
Hey, how long till we get going again?

434
00:17:58,121 --> 00:17:59,370
I'm still working on it!

435
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:02,374
- Sing "Shake It Off" again!
- Yay!

436
00:18:02,375 --> 00:18:04,834
No! Sing something else!

437
00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:08,755
I think we've all had enough
of Taylor Swift right now, guys.

438
00:18:08,756 --> 00:18:11,383
Can you sing another song,
Miss Caroline?

439
00:18:11,384 --> 00:18:13,342
Well, actually,

440
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:17,306
there is somebody on this bus
who is a professional singer.

441
00:18:17,307 --> 00:18:20,350
Who knows what the word
'professional' means?

442
00:18:20,351 --> 00:18:21,350
Beth?

443
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:24,354
It means it's your proper job
and you get paid money.

444
00:18:24,355 --> 00:18:26,314
Very good, Beth!

445
00:18:26,315 --> 00:18:29,443
You become a professional when
you're so good at something

446
00:18:29,444 --> 00:18:31,319
that you get paid to do it.

447
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,364
I am a professional kindergarten teacher.

448
00:18:34,365 --> 00:18:37,617
And David is a professional singer.

449
00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:40,328
Isn't that right, David?
- Uh... that's correct.

450
00:18:40,329 --> 00:18:43,415
Yes, I am a professional
singer, songwriter, guitarist.

451
00:18:43,416 --> 00:18:46,667
Maybe if we all nicely ask David,

452
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:49,171
he'll come to the front
of the bus and sing us all a song.

453
00:18:49,172 --> 00:18:51,131
What do you think, guys? Yes!

454
00:18:51,132 --> 00:18:52,862
Please? Please?

455
00:18:52,863 --> 00:18:54,592
Louder! Louder!

456
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:57,095
- No, no, no. I'm not prepared.
- Come on!

457
00:18:57,096 --> 00:18:58,701
Okay, then. All right.

458
00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:00,307
One song.

459
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,894
Now, sit down and be quiet
so he can play.

460
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:10,275
Um, hi, guys. Um...

461
00:19:10,276 --> 00:19:12,985
My name's David.
Uh, I'm Felix's uncle.

462
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:15,322
And I'm also the lead
singer-slash-frontman

463
00:19:15,323 --> 00:19:17,865
of my band, God's Sledgehammer.

464
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:21,578
Oh, and let's not forget
what Leviticus teaches us.

465
00:19:21,579 --> 00:19:24,289
If anyone curses their mother
or their father,

466
00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:25,998
they must be put to death.

467
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:29,294
That's in the Bible.
That's actually there. God wrote that.

468
00:19:29,295 --> 00:19:32,339
Um, this is one of my slower ditties.

469
00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:35,299
Um... a ballad, if you will.

470
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:39,137
♪ Your husband left you
with two little kids ♪

471
00:19:39,138 --> 00:19:42,203
♪ Said he loved you, but he never did ♪

472
00:19:42,204 --> 00:19:45,268
♪ You pretend like everything is fine ♪

473
00:19:45,269 --> 00:19:48,980
♪ But the screams have
taken over your mind ♪

474
00:19:48,981 --> 00:19:52,317
♪ And now you're empty inside
like an empty room ♪

475
00:19:52,318 --> 00:19:54,527
♪ That's full of demons and monsters too ♪

476
00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:56,654
♪ Yeah, you're trapped in a nightmare ♪

477
00:19:56,655 --> 00:19:58,782
♪ There's nowhere to hide from the pain ♪

478
00:19:58,783 --> 00:20:01,743
♪ That's eating you alive ♪

479
00:20:01,744 --> 00:20:04,704
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

480
00:20:04,705 --> 00:20:07,541
♪ Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, where did you go? ♪

481
00:20:07,542 --> 00:20:08,833
♪ Mama's losing control ♪

482
00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:12,003
♪ She's got the demons inside her,
feasting off her soul ♪

483
00:20:12,004 --> 00:20:15,174
♪ You started another family,
'cause we weren't good enough ♪

484
00:20:15,175 --> 00:20:16,340
♪ You didn't love your son ♪

485
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,363
♪ 'Cause you thought he wasn't tough ♪

486
00:20:18,364 --> 00:20:20,386
♪ Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, where did you go? ♪

487
00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:24,308
♪ Oh, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
where did you go, yeah? ♪

488
00:20:25,434 --> 00:20:29,188
Might be a little much
for everyone, you know?

489
00:20:29,189 --> 00:20:30,439
Yeah, mmm.

490
00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:34,526
- Bus is fixed.
- Oh!

491
00:20:34,527 --> 00:20:36,319
Next stop, Pleasant Valley!

492
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,363
Oh! Thank God! Yay!

493
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:40,824
Clap for David!

494
00:20:53,504 --> 00:20:55,546
- Section 19 clear.
<i>- Section 19.</i>

495
00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:57,924
What's the point
in flying 17 hours on a plane

496
00:20:57,925 --> 00:21:00,302
to work in a country
you're not even allowed to see?

497
00:21:00,303 --> 00:21:02,054
- Section 12 clear.
<i>- Section 12.</i>

498
00:21:02,055 --> 00:21:03,304
This country's insane.

499
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:05,015
Do you realize how many animals
they have here

500
00:21:05,016 --> 00:21:06,162
that can kill you?

501
00:21:06,163 --> 00:21:07,308
Listen to this.

502
00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:10,354
"The funnel-web spider is
the world's nastiest arachnid.

503
00:21:10,355 --> 00:21:12,981
"The venom from this hairy
spider's massive fangs

504
00:21:12,982 --> 00:21:15,608
"attacks a person's nervous
system, leading to death.

505
00:21:15,609 --> 00:21:18,320
The red-bellied black snake
can grow up to seven feet long."

506
00:21:18,321 --> 00:21:19,362
Section 15 clear.

507
00:21:19,363 --> 00:21:22,115
"The venom from its bite
can cause skin cells to decay,

508
00:21:22,116 --> 00:21:24,200
"along with kidney failure,
leading to death.

509
00:21:24,201 --> 00:21:27,078
"There is no known anti-venom
for the box jellyfish,

510
00:21:27,079 --> 00:21:29,957
"which is present throughout
coastal waters of Australia.

511
00:21:29,958 --> 00:21:31,958
"The sting instantly leads to necrosis

512
00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:34,585
and random muscle spasms,
and finally, cardiac arrest."

513
00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:38,340
Still, if I get flown back home
without seeing a koala bear,

514
00:21:38,341 --> 00:21:39,716
I'm gonna be pretty upset.

515
00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:49,393
Jesus. One of them's free.

516
00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:55,315
Back away from the body
with your hands on your head!

517
00:22:09,204 --> 00:22:10,371
Patrol to control room.

518
00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:12,874
Project Regeneration
test subject has escaped.

519
00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:15,377
Containment breach and casualty
in section 24.

520
00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:18,379
Containment breach and casualty
in section 24!

521
00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:20,799
<i>We have a large-scale
breach at section 25!</i>

522
00:22:22,718 --> 00:22:25,344
Wait here.
I'll secure the door.

523
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,306
P.
- <i>In lockdown</i>.

524
00:22:29,808 --> 00:22:31,309
<i>In lockdown.</i>

525
00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:34,605
Wait, should I call for backup?

526
00:22:35,272 --> 00:22:37,357
What the fuck?! What the fuck?!

527
00:22:38,984 --> 00:22:41,653
Get off! Get off!

528
00:22:41,654 --> 00:22:44,323
My ear! Arggh! Arggh!

529
00:22:46,325 --> 00:22:48,075
<i>In lockdown.</i>

530
00:22:48,076 --> 00:22:51,413
So, it's 600 feet
back down the road. Yeah.

531
00:22:51,414 --> 00:22:53,832
Minigolf. Minigolf.

532
00:22:53,833 --> 00:22:55,291
This is not the petting zoo.

533
00:22:55,292 --> 00:22:57,836
This is a US military facility.
Do you understand me?

534
00:22:57,837 --> 00:23:01,339
P.
- <i>Full code red.</i>

535
00:23:01,340 --> 00:23:04,301
<i>I repeat, this is a full code red alert.</i>

536
00:23:04,302 --> 00:23:05,676
Shit!

537
00:23:05,677 --> 00:23:09,306
Jerry! Open the gate!
Open the gate!

538
00:23:09,307 --> 00:23:11,182
Open the goddamn gate!

539
00:23:11,183 --> 00:23:13,894
Close the gate! Close the gate!

540
00:23:47,511 --> 00:23:50,305
And our first rule is be safe.

541
00:23:50,306 --> 00:23:51,347
Which means remember the dangers

542
00:23:51,348 --> 00:23:53,392
of touching and tasting things
we don't recognize.

543
00:23:53,393 --> 00:23:55,309
Our rhyme...

544
00:23:55,310 --> 00:23:58,939
We can see, we can smell,
we can hear...

545
00:23:58,940 --> 00:24:00,606
Oh, my gosh! Uncle Dave!

546
00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:03,610
It's Teddy McGiggle!
It's Teddy McGiggle!

547
00:24:03,611 --> 00:24:06,321
What? Oh, my God!

548
00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:14,287
Hi-ho, kiddlywinks!

549
00:24:14,288 --> 00:24:16,664
Hi-ho, Teddy!

550
00:24:16,665 --> 00:24:18,917
Hi-ho, Teddy!

551
00:24:18,918 --> 00:24:21,169
Hi-ho, Frogsie!

552
00:24:21,170 --> 00:24:26,008
Well, aren't we having a super fun time
on our trip down under?!

553
00:24:26,009 --> 00:24:29,657
We swam with the fish
in the Great Barrier Reef!

554
00:24:29,658 --> 00:24:33,307
We've climbed to the top
of the Harbour Bridge!

555
00:24:33,308 --> 00:24:34,515
And today...

556
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:38,019
today, we are visiting
the Pleasant Valley Farm

557
00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:41,690
to meet and learn about all
the cute Australian animals!

558
00:24:41,691 --> 00:24:44,193
I want a cuddle from a koala!

559
00:24:44,194 --> 00:24:46,527
I bet you do, Frogsie!

560
00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:48,154
Wow-ee!

561
00:24:48,155 --> 00:24:52,034
Look at the big crowd
that's come out here to say hello to us.

562
00:24:52,035 --> 00:24:53,993
And hello to you!

563
00:24:53,994 --> 00:24:57,456
What's your name,
you big bundle of sunshine?

564
00:24:57,457 --> 00:24:59,165
Come on over here.

565
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:03,670
Why don't you guys let the beautiful
yellow lady come on through?

566
00:25:03,671 --> 00:25:05,338
What's your name, little lady?

567
00:25:05,339 --> 00:25:07,841
Miss Caroline.
Oh, but my friends call me Audrey.

568
00:25:07,842 --> 00:25:10,051
My kids call Miss Caroline.

569
00:25:10,052 --> 00:25:13,346
Not my <i>kids</i> kids, my students.
They call me Miss Caroline.

570
00:25:13,347 --> 00:25:17,351
Well, that is a beautiful origin story
if I've ever heard one.

571
00:25:17,352 --> 00:25:20,979
All I know is, your kiddlywinks
sure are lucky

572
00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:24,441
to have a teacher as pretty
as you, Miss Caroline!

573
00:25:24,442 --> 00:25:27,903
I want to give Miss Caroline a cuddle!

574
00:25:29,321 --> 00:25:31,614
I bet you do, Frogsie!

575
00:25:31,615 --> 00:25:33,534
What do you guys say
we do the McGiggle dance?

576
00:25:33,535 --> 00:25:34,951
Yeah!

577
00:25:34,952 --> 00:25:37,538
What do you say we do
the McGiggle dance

578
00:25:37,539 --> 00:25:40,374
to get this party started?!

579
00:25:44,211 --> 00:25:46,525
Excellent job, everybody.

580
00:25:48,841 --> 00:25:51,092
Settle down there, kiddlywinks!

581
00:25:51,093 --> 00:25:54,179
There's more than enough Teddy
to go around!

582
00:25:54,180 --> 00:25:57,306
Whoo-hoo!

583
00:25:57,307 --> 00:25:59,350
Remember to be nice and gentle.

584
00:25:59,351 --> 00:26:02,479
<i>♪ Come with us as we giggle around ♪</i>

585
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,397
<i>♪ In the McGigglemobile ♪</i>

586
00:26:04,398 --> 00:26:05,940
<i>Toot-toot, Teddy!</i>

587
00:26:05,941 --> 00:26:07,316
<i>♪ Traveling the whole world ♪</i>

588
00:26:07,317 --> 00:26:10,863
<i>♪ And sharing special memories
with the kiddlywinks ♪</i>

589
00:26:10,864 --> 00:26:13,030
<i>We love the kiddlywinks!</i>

590
00:26:13,031 --> 00:26:14,699
<i>♪ There's no use ignoring ♪</i>

591
00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:16,576
<i>♪ All the giggling and guffawing ♪</i>

592
00:26:16,577 --> 00:26:18,912
<i>♪ As we shower the whole world with fun ♪</i>

593
00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:23,792
<i>♪ And time and time again,
we will McGiggle with new friends ♪</i>

594
00:26:23,793 --> 00:26:27,171
<i>♪ Because our giggles are for everyone ♪</i>

595
00:26:30,340 --> 00:26:32,195
<i>Can we do the McGiggle dance?</i>

596
00:26:32,196 --> 00:26:33,874
<i>You bet we can, Frogsie!</i>

597
00:26:33,875 --> 00:26:35,553
<i>Whoo-hoo!</i>

598
00:26:35,554 --> 00:26:38,639
<i>♪ So, giggle, I'll giggle with you ♪</i>

599
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:42,935
<i>♪ Let's giggle,
we'll giggle all together ♪</i>

600
00:26:42,936 --> 00:26:45,606
<i>♪ I feel giggly when
we all play this song... ♪</i>

601
00:26:45,607 --> 00:26:46,856
Rock on, man!

602
00:26:46,857 --> 00:26:50,819
<i>♪ Life's so fun
when you giggle along... ♪</i>

603
00:26:50,820 --> 00:26:52,904
Yeah? Do you want to come up?

604
00:26:52,905 --> 00:26:54,573
All the way out to here.

605
00:26:59,369 --> 00:27:00,621
Everyone's watching.
No pressure.

606
00:27:00,622 --> 00:27:03,624
Arggh! Arggh!

607
00:27:05,876 --> 00:27:07,961
Yeah. Rock on, idiot.

608
00:27:07,962 --> 00:27:10,047
What did we learn? Yes, Felix?

609
00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:18,597
<i>We got a full breach here!
A full breach!</i>

610
00:27:18,598 --> 00:27:20,348
<i>Somebody get up here and help me!</i>

611
00:27:20,349 --> 00:27:21,725
<i>They're escaping from the front!</i>

612
00:27:24,186 --> 00:27:27,438
<i>Get up here now! Now! Now!</i>

613
00:27:27,439 --> 00:27:30,692
<i>Arggh! Arggh!</i>

614
00:27:45,332 --> 00:27:48,168
Whoa!

615
00:28:07,208 --> 00:28:09,282
One, two, three, eyes on me!

616
00:28:09,283 --> 00:28:11,358
One, two, eyes on you!

617
00:28:13,861 --> 00:28:16,446
And then we get to meet Kimby again.

618
00:28:16,447 --> 00:28:19,031
She's going to take us on a special ride.

619
00:28:19,032 --> 00:28:22,744
And then when we get back to the farm,
there'll be a surprise waiting for us!

620
00:28:22,745 --> 00:28:25,706
Is it putt-putt golf!
Are we gonna play putt-putt golf?!

621
00:28:25,707 --> 00:28:27,457
I said it was a surprise.

622
00:28:27,458 --> 00:28:29,208
I'm going to count backwards from 10.

623
00:28:29,209 --> 00:28:31,378
By the time I get to one,
I want you all in a line in front of me.

624
00:28:31,379 --> 00:28:34,046
And away we go! Ten! Nine!

625
00:28:34,047 --> 00:28:36,592
- Miss Caroline, can we...
- David, just call me Audrey... eight!

626
00:28:36,593 --> 00:28:38,552
Yeah, I feel like
I haven't been helping enough.

627
00:28:38,553 --> 00:28:40,762
- Seven!
- Can I get more involved?

628
00:28:40,763 --> 00:28:42,973
Six! Yeah, you can help Kim
with the rubbish.

629
00:28:42,974 --> 00:28:44,641
Five!
- The rubbish?

630
00:28:44,642 --> 00:28:46,310
Wait... are you married?

631
00:28:46,311 --> 00:28:47,351
No. Four!

632
00:28:47,352 --> 00:28:49,313
Oh, not yet.
That's my engagement ring.

633
00:28:49,314 --> 00:28:51,315
Three!
- You're with a guy?

634
00:28:52,316 --> 00:28:54,359
My fiancé, Ian, yes.

635
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:55,986
Two!

636
00:28:56,820 --> 00:28:59,322
And one!

637
00:28:59,323 --> 00:29:01,324
Very good. Okay, let's go.

638
00:29:01,325 --> 00:29:04,661
Okay, who's excited about the surprise?

639
00:29:04,662 --> 00:29:06,621
Bye-bye, rubbish!

640
00:29:06,622 --> 00:29:07,663
<i>Welcome, everyone,</i>

641
00:29:07,664 --> 00:29:10,145
<i>to the Pleasant Valley Farm experience.</i>

642
00:29:10,146 --> 00:29:12,628
<i>Who wants to see some sheep?</i>

643
00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:16,214
<i>That's lucky,
because you're about to meet</i>

644
00:29:16,215 --> 00:29:19,405
<i>Pleasant Valley's
flock of resident mammals.</i>

645
00:29:19,406 --> 00:29:22,595
Isn't the tractor amazing, Uncle David?

646
00:29:22,596 --> 00:29:24,681
<i>Even though sheep
aren't native to Australia,</i>

647
00:29:24,682 --> 00:29:25,640
<i>we certainly do have...</i>

648
00:29:25,641 --> 00:29:27,600
Miss Caroline, where are the sheep?

649
00:29:27,601 --> 00:29:30,521
<i>Um... They're usually around here.</i>

650
00:29:31,605 --> 00:29:32,648
<i>They must be hiding.</i>

651
00:29:44,660 --> 00:29:47,245
I've just gotta check
on something ahead.

652
00:29:47,246 --> 00:29:49,623
<i>Sorry we haven't seen
any sheep yet, kiddies.</i>

653
00:29:49,624 --> 00:29:50,623
What is it, Miss Caroline?

654
00:29:50,624 --> 00:29:53,043
I don't know, Kim.
There must be something in the way.

655
00:29:53,044 --> 00:29:55,066
Maybe it's your dad, Felix!

656
00:29:55,067 --> 00:29:57,088
- No, it isn't.
- Yeah, Max!

657
00:29:57,089 --> 00:29:58,923
For all we know,
you don't have a dad either.

658
00:29:58,924 --> 00:30:01,510
Never seen any evidence of him
when I'm visiting your mom.

659
00:30:01,511 --> 00:30:03,177
- Do you know my mom?
- Uh-huh.

660
00:30:03,178 --> 00:30:06,515
Okay. David?
May I have a word with you, please?

661
00:30:08,141 --> 00:30:09,685
David's in trouble!

662
00:30:12,375 --> 00:30:14,105
Hey.

663
00:30:14,106 --> 00:30:15,940
What are you doing to our sheep, mate?

664
00:30:15,941 --> 00:30:18,318
Look, I don't know what's
going on with you right now,

665
00:30:18,319 --> 00:30:20,466
but that kind of behavior
is unacceptable.

666
00:30:20,467 --> 00:30:22,613
- Max started it!
- Max is five years old!

667
00:30:22,614 --> 00:30:25,617
And if you can't use appropriate language
with a five-year-old,

668
00:30:25,618 --> 00:30:27,619
I'm going to have to ask you
to disembark the tractor train

669
00:30:27,620 --> 00:30:28,661
and wait for us back at the bus.

670
00:30:28,662 --> 00:30:30,288
Fucking hell! Fuck!

671
00:30:30,289 --> 00:30:31,914
♪ Bad word! Bad word! ♪

672
00:30:31,915 --> 00:30:35,043
- Kimby!
- ♪ You said a bad thing! ♪

673
00:30:35,044 --> 00:30:37,462
Kimby, this kind of behavior is just...

674
00:30:37,463 --> 00:30:38,881
Arggh!

675
00:30:45,596 --> 00:30:47,034
Oh!

676
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:52,393
Oh, God!

677
00:30:52,394 --> 00:30:54,271
David! Start the tractor!

678
00:30:58,567 --> 00:31:01,653
Where are you going to drive
the tractor, Uncle David?

679
00:31:05,157 --> 00:31:07,533
Miss Caroline! I'm coming!

680
00:31:07,534 --> 00:31:10,286
- Push the clutch pedal down.
- Where?

681
00:31:10,287 --> 00:31:13,332
The clutch pedal is on the left,
the brake is on the other side.

682
00:31:13,333 --> 00:31:14,437
Like this?

683
00:31:17,085 --> 00:31:19,630
Have you got the parking
brake off, Uncle David?

684
00:31:19,631 --> 00:31:20,713
I don't know!

685
00:31:20,714 --> 00:31:22,465
The parking brake is that side too.

686
00:31:22,466 --> 00:31:24,218
Why do you know so much about tractors?

687
00:31:24,219 --> 00:31:25,969
I love tractors.

688
00:31:25,970 --> 00:31:27,512
Oh, Jesus!

689
00:31:27,513 --> 00:31:29,681
Are you okay, Miss Caroline?!

690
00:31:29,682 --> 00:31:31,850
Just, uh, having a chat with Kimby.

691
00:31:33,060 --> 00:31:35,019
Ohh, shit!

692
00:31:40,651 --> 00:31:41,902
Ooh!

693
00:31:48,033 --> 00:31:50,285
- What do I do?!
- Just keep driving!

694
00:31:55,249 --> 00:31:56,917
Yes!

695
00:31:57,709 --> 00:31:58,876
Rightio.

696
00:31:58,877 --> 00:32:00,837
You remember this one. Right?

697
00:32:05,092 --> 00:32:08,594
♪ Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep ♪

698
00:32:08,595 --> 00:32:11,849
<i>♪ And doesn't know where to find them ♪</i>

699
00:32:12,516 --> 00:32:13,599
What is that?

700
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,060
♪ Leave them alone
and they'll come home ♪

701
00:32:16,061 --> 00:32:19,314
♪ Wagging their tails behind them ♪

702
00:32:30,659 --> 00:32:33,495
Who knows what "unpredictable" means?

703
00:32:34,705 --> 00:32:37,165
Don't be scared. Don't be scared.

704
00:32:37,166 --> 00:32:39,626
This is the surprise I was talking about.

705
00:32:47,676 --> 00:32:49,761
David? Why are you stopping?

706
00:32:50,470 --> 00:32:52,597
'C-cause the road is blocked in.

707
00:32:52,598 --> 00:32:54,725
I don't know how to explain
what I'm seeing.

708
00:32:56,310 --> 00:32:58,103
Ahh!

709
00:32:59,897 --> 00:33:02,023
Okay! One, two, three, eyes on me!

710
00:33:02,024 --> 00:33:04,151
- One, two, eyes on you!
- Right.

711
00:33:04,152 --> 00:33:05,944
Who remembers how to play tag?

712
00:33:05,945 --> 00:33:07,195
Good. Right.

713
00:33:07,196 --> 00:33:09,364
Those funny-looking people
out there are it.

714
00:33:09,365 --> 00:33:11,991
How do I go backwards?

715
00:33:11,992 --> 00:33:13,555
And we don't want to let
the funny people touch us.

716
00:33:13,556 --> 00:33:15,119
Look! Isn't she good at it?

717
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,831
- Yeah!
- I need you to stick together in a line.

718
00:33:17,832 --> 00:33:21,043
So, quick-sticks!
Ready... steady...

719
00:33:22,211 --> 00:33:23,252
...conga!

720
00:33:23,253 --> 00:33:24,671
Conga?!

721
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:30,968
♪ Conga, conga, conga! ♪

722
00:33:30,969 --> 00:33:35,098
♪ Conga, conga, conga! ♪

723
00:33:39,937 --> 00:33:41,688
This way, kiddies!

724
00:33:42,523 --> 00:33:46,192
♪ Old Macdonald had a farm ♪

725
00:33:46,193 --> 00:33:49,571
♪ E-I-E-I-O... ♪

726
00:33:49,572 --> 00:33:52,950
Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!

727
00:33:55,953 --> 00:33:57,204
Pew, pew!

728
00:33:57,996 --> 00:34:00,165
♪ Baa-baa here and a baaaaa... ♪

729
00:34:01,416 --> 00:34:04,670
♪ Here a baa, there a baa
Everywhere a baa-baa! ♪

730
00:34:05,546 --> 00:34:07,589
Arggh!

731
00:34:07,590 --> 00:34:09,632
♪ E-I-E-I-O... ♪

732
00:34:09,633 --> 00:34:12,594
- He almost tagged you!
- Yeah. Didn't get me, though.

733
00:34:14,513 --> 00:34:15,951
This way to the bus, kids.

734
00:34:15,952 --> 00:34:17,390
I don't want to be here!

735
00:34:17,391 --> 00:34:21,228
♪ Old Macdonald had a farm ♪

736
00:34:21,229 --> 00:34:22,144
♪ E-I-E... ♪

737
00:34:22,145 --> 00:34:23,647
- Watch out, Dave!
- Yarggh!

738
00:34:33,657 --> 00:34:34,700
There's the bus!

739
00:34:36,493 --> 00:34:37,661
We're almost there.

740
00:34:40,581 --> 00:34:41,790
Oh, God!

741
00:34:43,667 --> 00:34:46,712
No! They're in the bus!

742
00:34:46,713 --> 00:34:48,337
Don't come this way!

743
00:34:48,338 --> 00:34:50,299
Okay. Change of plan.

744
00:34:57,181 --> 00:34:59,599
- Locked!
- Go away!

745
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,790
Oh! Open the door.
Teddy McGiggle, it's me!

746
00:35:02,791 --> 00:35:05,980
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I didn't see you there.

747
00:35:05,981 --> 00:35:09,610
But see, the problem is I was here first,
so you've got to go fuck yourself.

748
00:35:09,611 --> 00:35:12,404
- ♪ Bad word! Bad word! ♪
- We have kids out here!

749
00:35:12,405 --> 00:35:15,073
Oh! Oh, my God!
I don't give a shit.

750
00:35:15,074 --> 00:35:17,743
You can't leave the kids out here!

751
00:35:19,871 --> 00:35:21,434
Unlock the door!

752
00:35:21,435 --> 00:35:22,998
Unlock my dick!

753
00:35:24,166 --> 00:35:26,167
This way. Oh, look.

754
00:35:26,168 --> 00:35:28,169
Okay. Who wants to be a wiggle worm?!

755
00:35:28,170 --> 00:35:30,631
The fuck are you doing?!
Get them away from here!

756
00:35:30,632 --> 00:35:33,091
In you go. Nice and safe.
Nice and safe.

757
00:35:33,092 --> 00:35:34,383
Hey!

758
00:35:34,384 --> 00:35:37,470
He's meals on wheels!
Leave him!

759
00:35:37,471 --> 00:35:40,556
Up! And through there!

760
00:35:40,557 --> 00:35:43,392
Hey! Get her to stop doing that!

761
00:35:43,393 --> 00:35:46,021
- Open the door!
- Leave them alone out there!

762
00:35:46,022 --> 00:35:47,230
Are you serious?!

763
00:35:47,231 --> 00:35:49,983
Leave those little fuckers to those guys!

764
00:35:49,984 --> 00:35:52,089
What the hell is wrong with you?

765
00:35:52,090 --> 00:35:54,196
You're both being real cocks right now!

766
00:35:59,660 --> 00:36:01,662
Miss Caroline! Help!

767
00:36:01,663 --> 00:36:02,996
Arggh!

768
00:36:08,732 --> 00:36:10,681
Miss Caroline!

769
00:36:12,178 --> 00:36:13,674
Fuck you!

770
00:36:33,026 --> 00:36:34,443
Let us in, please!

771
00:36:34,444 --> 00:36:36,154
No, you're not coming in! Go away!

772
00:36:39,992 --> 00:36:41,618
Wait. No, no, what is that?

773
00:36:41,619 --> 00:36:42,953
There's somebody on the roof!

774
00:36:44,288 --> 00:36:45,705
Stop it!

775
00:36:45,706 --> 00:36:48,416
Get the fuck off of there!

776
00:36:48,417 --> 00:36:51,420
You bring those bastards here,
I'll fucking...

777
00:36:53,422 --> 00:36:55,507
Oh!

778
00:37:04,349 --> 00:37:05,600
Ahhh!

779
00:37:05,601 --> 00:37:07,394
Arggh!

780
00:37:07,395 --> 00:37:09,188
What are you doing?

781
00:37:10,355 --> 00:37:12,608
What the...?! Jesus!

782
00:37:20,407 --> 00:37:21,658
You f...!

783
00:37:24,932 --> 00:37:26,787
Oh! Ooh!

784
00:37:26,788 --> 00:37:28,664
You eat my dick!

785
00:37:28,665 --> 00:37:31,000
♪ Bad word! Bad word! ♪

786
00:37:31,001 --> 00:37:33,337
♪ 'Cause you said a bad thing... ♪

787
00:37:33,338 --> 00:37:34,420
You little bitch!

788
00:37:34,421 --> 00:37:35,796
♪ We all have to sing... ♪

789
00:37:50,145 --> 00:37:53,148
Come here,
you pretty little chubby princess!

790
00:37:55,984 --> 00:37:59,112
I'm gonna bash this on your head,
you fat fucking monkey!

791
00:37:59,113 --> 00:38:01,197
You're a fucking psycho!

792
00:38:01,198 --> 00:38:03,200
Get away from that door, boy titties!

793
00:38:10,666 --> 00:38:12,543
Arggh! Arggh!

794
00:38:12,544 --> 00:38:13,459
Arggh!

795
00:38:14,858 --> 00:38:16,255
Shit.

796
00:38:17,631 --> 00:38:18,632
My face!

797
00:38:23,929 --> 00:38:24,930
No.

798
00:38:40,404 --> 00:38:42,406
- Hey.
- Hi, Uncle David.

799
00:38:57,045 --> 00:38:59,714
<i>Attention, all units.
Attention, all units.</i>

800
00:38:59,715 --> 00:39:02,593
<i>Reinforcements have arrived.
Set up a perimeter.</i>

801
00:39:13,353 --> 00:39:15,188
Door's secure.

802
00:39:15,189 --> 00:39:16,607
Still no signal, though.

803
00:39:17,649 --> 00:39:19,443
Miss Caroline! Miss Caroline!

804
00:39:19,444 --> 00:39:20,985
Max, that's not safe!

805
00:39:20,986 --> 00:39:23,238
Put it back where you found it.

806
00:39:24,114 --> 00:39:25,781
There's no landline either.

807
00:39:25,782 --> 00:39:28,618
- This is fun.
- It is a bit scary.

808
00:39:28,619 --> 00:39:30,996
It's meant to be scary.
It's part of the game.

809
00:39:30,997 --> 00:39:36,168
And you know what?
We all just won first level.

810
00:39:37,044 --> 00:39:39,755
Yes?
- How many more levels will there be?

811
00:39:40,506 --> 00:39:41,964
Mmm... Max?

812
00:39:41,965 --> 00:39:44,176
When will we play putt-putt golf?

813
00:39:44,177 --> 00:39:46,427
Later. Kim?

814
00:39:46,428 --> 00:39:47,846
What's wrong with Teddy McGiggle?

815
00:39:49,598 --> 00:39:53,560
Teddy McGiggle is just...
not happy because we're winning.

816
00:39:53,561 --> 00:39:57,356
Nobody's coming for us.
We're all gonna die.

817
00:39:57,357 --> 00:39:59,608
Are we gonna die, Miss Caroline?

818
00:39:59,609 --> 00:40:01,734
No! Of course not.

819
00:40:01,735 --> 00:40:04,321
My job is to keep you safe.
That's what I'll do.

820
00:40:04,322 --> 00:40:05,781
Where's Frogsie?

821
00:40:06,406 --> 00:40:07,658
Frogsie didn't make it.

822
00:40:09,326 --> 00:40:11,620
I need you to calm down, Teddy McGiggle.

823
00:40:11,621 --> 00:40:13,664
Don't you dare tell me what to do.

824
00:40:14,540 --> 00:40:17,876
Those things out there ate my cameraman.

825
00:40:17,877 --> 00:40:20,003
They ate him!

826
00:40:23,423 --> 00:40:26,343
And not just them.
Little dead-eyed kids.

827
00:40:26,344 --> 00:40:28,032
Like <i>Children Of The Corn</i>.

828
00:40:28,033 --> 00:40:29,720
And if they don't eat you,

829
00:40:29,721 --> 00:40:32,641
you get bit and then you become
one of them.

830
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,039
They're... They're zombies.

831
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,114
Like in the shooty game?

832
00:40:38,115 --> 00:40:40,189
Like in the shooty game!

833
00:40:40,190 --> 00:40:44,611
Can you tell us what the zombies do
in the... shooty game, please, Felix?

834
00:40:44,612 --> 00:40:46,613
Well, if you make noise, they hear you.

835
00:40:46,614 --> 00:40:48,636
They walk around and try to bite you.

836
00:40:48,637 --> 00:40:50,658
And the only way you can stop them

837
00:40:50,659 --> 00:40:53,453
is by shooting them in the face
with your shooty gun

838
00:40:53,454 --> 00:40:54,996
or chopping their heads off.

839
00:40:54,997 --> 00:40:57,583
Okay. But are the zombies real?

840
00:40:57,584 --> 00:40:59,625
No. It's just a game,

841
00:40:59,626 --> 00:41:03,172
but Uncle David lets me play it
when my mom's asleep.

842
00:41:04,715 --> 00:41:08,594
Well, there you go.
The zombies are not real.

843
00:41:08,595 --> 00:41:10,553
Like fuck they're not!

844
00:41:10,554 --> 00:41:13,014
The Easter Bunny isn't fucking real!

845
00:41:13,015 --> 00:41:15,474
Father fucking Christmas isn't real!

846
00:41:15,475 --> 00:41:20,022
These inquisitive dead-eyed
fucking faces are real!

847
00:41:20,023 --> 00:41:22,565
♪ Bad word! Bad word! ♪

848
00:41:22,566 --> 00:41:25,360
♪ 'Cause you said a bad thing, now... ♪

849
00:41:25,361 --> 00:41:28,362
Shut the fuck up!

850
00:41:28,363 --> 00:41:31,200
Teddy McGiggle's gonna fill you guys in
on some fast-breaking news.

851
00:41:31,201 --> 00:41:32,283
Bad word song?

852
00:41:32,284 --> 00:41:34,660
That existed at a time
when people weren't

853
00:41:34,661 --> 00:41:37,956
having their faces ripped off
by motherfucking zombies.

854
00:41:37,957 --> 00:41:40,709
Fuckity fuck-fuck fuck!

855
00:41:40,710 --> 00:41:43,461
You fucking little duckies!

856
00:41:43,462 --> 00:41:45,714
Teddy McGiggle just needs a cuddle.

857
00:41:45,715 --> 00:41:48,424
Come here. Let's have a word.

858
00:41:48,425 --> 00:41:50,760
- I don't want a cuddle.
- Listen, Okay?

859
00:41:50,761 --> 00:41:53,096
You're going to change
that attitude right now.

860
00:41:53,097 --> 00:41:54,848
Fucking zombies.

861
00:41:56,683 --> 00:41:58,560
This is not a negotiation.

862
00:42:00,562 --> 00:42:02,564
Guys, who's hungry?

863
00:42:02,565 --> 00:42:04,650
Yeah? Okay. Well, come get some.

864
00:42:04,651 --> 00:42:06,025
Here you go, mate.

865
00:42:06,026 --> 00:42:09,029
- Are these okay, Uncle David?
- Yeah.

866
00:42:09,030 --> 00:42:11,114
Why is Teddy McGiggle crying?

867
00:42:11,115 --> 00:42:13,157
I'm a celebrity.

868
00:42:13,158 --> 00:42:15,451
No. You're a liability.

869
00:42:15,452 --> 00:42:18,704
I have no idea what
we're all dealing with here,

870
00:42:18,705 --> 00:42:21,625
but my only responsibility
is for these children's safety.

871
00:42:21,626 --> 00:42:23,626
If they are put in danger

872
00:42:23,627 --> 00:42:27,005
by anyone outside or inside
the souvenir kiosk,

873
00:42:27,006 --> 00:42:29,715
my job is to remove that danger.

874
00:42:29,716 --> 00:42:32,552
I'm not going to let
these children be traumatized

875
00:42:32,553 --> 00:42:35,222
by having them think a zombie
is going to eat them alive.

876
00:42:35,223 --> 00:42:37,682
So, right at this very moment,

877
00:42:37,683 --> 00:42:40,561
these children believe they are
in the middle of a game.

878
00:42:40,562 --> 00:42:43,271
A fun, harmless game.

879
00:42:43,272 --> 00:42:46,149
So if you don't turn that frown
upside down, then, so help me God,

880
00:42:46,150 --> 00:42:49,611
I am going to drag you out
by that stupid bow tie

881
00:42:49,612 --> 00:42:51,613
and watch them rip you apart!

882
00:42:51,614 --> 00:42:53,031
Do I make myself clear?

883
00:42:55,075 --> 00:42:58,453
Let me hear you say, "It's a game,"
so loud, they can hear.

884
00:42:58,454 --> 00:43:00,392
It's a game.

885
00:43:00,393 --> 00:43:01,946
In the voice, you moron.

886
00:43:01,947 --> 00:43:03,500
It's a game!

887
00:43:04,209 --> 00:43:05,418
This is a game!

888
00:43:05,419 --> 00:43:08,254
Uh-huh. Do the laugh.

889
00:43:08,255 --> 00:43:10,883
- I don't want to.
- Do the laugh.

890
00:43:16,305 --> 00:43:17,890
And stop fucking swearing.

891
00:43:22,477 --> 00:43:25,063
You can consider this
the naughty corner.

892
00:43:27,483 --> 00:43:29,902
You okay?

893
00:43:30,694 --> 00:43:31,737
Cough it up, mate.

894
00:43:33,113 --> 00:43:35,615
Cough it up.

895
00:43:35,616 --> 00:43:38,744
What did you eat, Felix?
It's anaphylaxis.

896
00:43:38,745 --> 00:43:40,454
No. No, they're just chips.

897
00:43:40,455 --> 00:43:42,163
They'd have dairy in them.

898
00:43:42,164 --> 00:43:44,416
Who the fuck puts milk in chips?

899
00:43:44,417 --> 00:43:46,375
Just breathe, okay?

900
00:43:46,376 --> 00:43:48,044
- What do we do?
- My bum bag.

901
00:43:48,045 --> 00:43:49,420
The DreniPenny was in my bum bag.

902
00:43:49,421 --> 00:43:50,796
I've got one. I've got one.

903
00:43:50,797 --> 00:43:52,758
- Oh. Give it...
- I can do it. I can do it.

904
00:43:52,759 --> 00:43:55,301
Okay. Okay, kids.

905
00:43:55,302 --> 00:43:58,347
Don't worry.
Felix just needs some room, okay?

906
00:43:58,348 --> 00:43:59,597
Here we go.

907
00:43:59,598 --> 00:44:02,559
Uh, "Orange in the sky,
blue in the... thigh."

908
00:44:03,852 --> 00:44:06,437
- Arggh!
- Oh, dear.

909
00:44:06,438 --> 00:44:08,669
- What?!
- No, no. It's fine. Here.

910
00:44:08,670 --> 00:44:10,901
- No, you can't reinsert it!
- No.

911
00:44:10,902 --> 00:44:12,652
No! Um...

912
00:44:12,653 --> 00:44:14,612
There's a spare!
Tess packed a spare!

913
00:44:14,613 --> 00:44:17,074
- Where is it?
- It's, it's... in his backpack!

914
00:44:19,117 --> 00:44:20,639
I'll go get it. I'll go get it.

915
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:22,162
Don't leave.

916
00:44:24,519 --> 00:44:26,874
I'm here.

917
00:44:26,875 --> 00:44:29,168
Okay, kids.

918
00:44:29,169 --> 00:44:32,338
No, no. I'm right here, bud.
I'm right here.

919
00:44:32,339 --> 00:44:35,634
Listen very carefully.
I need you to stay here with David.

920
00:44:35,635 --> 00:44:38,679
Hold hands and don't let go
until I get back.

921
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:40,137
Okay?

922
00:44:40,138 --> 00:44:42,682
Breathe. You'll be all right.

923
00:44:42,683 --> 00:44:45,184
Get them to stop the game,
Miss Caroline!

924
00:44:45,185 --> 00:44:47,729
Don't worry about it.
I'll just pop right up and let them know.

925
00:44:47,730 --> 00:44:49,814
Breathe. You're all right.

926
00:44:49,815 --> 00:44:52,693
You'll be all right.
There we go. Breathing.

927
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,504
Just try to breathe, mate, please.
Keep breathing.

928
00:46:09,770 --> 00:46:10,812
Argh!

929
00:46:17,819 --> 00:46:19,613
We get through this,
you can dress up as Darth Vader

930
00:46:19,614 --> 00:46:20,989
and play the shooty game
as much as you want.

931
00:46:20,990 --> 00:46:22,270
I don't care what your mom says.

932
00:46:41,635 --> 00:46:42,635
You!

933
00:46:57,818 --> 00:46:59,610
Guys, what do we do when we're scared?

934
00:46:59,611 --> 00:47:02,114
What's a song we can sing?
What's his favorite song?

935
00:47:02,115 --> 00:47:04,031
- "Shake It Off."
- "Shake It Off"?

936
00:47:04,032 --> 00:47:06,410
How does it start?
Beth, can you sing it for him?

937
00:47:07,244 --> 00:47:09,037
♪ I stay out too late ♪

938
00:47:10,497 --> 00:47:11,832
♪ Got nothing in my... ♪

939
00:47:21,508 --> 00:47:22,676
Typical!

940
00:47:25,095 --> 00:47:29,203
♪ 'Cause the players gonna
play, play, play, play, play ♪

941
00:47:29,204 --> 00:47:33,312
♪ Baby, I'm just gonna shake,
shake, shake, shake, shake... ♪

942
00:47:56,043 --> 00:47:59,046
♪ I'm just gonna shake, shake,
shake, shake, shake ♪

943
00:47:59,047 --> 00:48:01,590
♪ Shake it off,
shake it off... ♪

944
00:48:05,594 --> 00:48:07,513
Oh, yes! Quick! Is that it?

945
00:48:08,597 --> 00:48:09,765
Here we go, mate.

946
00:48:11,266 --> 00:48:13,894
Oh, here we go. Here we go.
- Okay. Hold still.

947
00:48:15,437 --> 00:48:16,563
Yes.

948
00:48:20,275 --> 00:48:21,359
Did it work?

949
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:22,861
Well?

950
00:48:31,828 --> 00:48:34,164
Oh! Oh, God!

951
00:48:36,291 --> 00:48:37,376
Thank you, Miss Caroline.

952
00:48:37,377 --> 00:48:39,086
It's my job.

953
00:48:39,878 --> 00:48:41,839
And you've got to call me Audrey.

954
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:43,173
Yeah.

955
00:48:45,884 --> 00:48:47,468
Eugh!

956
00:48:47,469 --> 00:48:49,053
Oh... I...

957
00:48:49,054 --> 00:48:51,682
...g-got caught in the middle
of a jam fight!

958
00:48:52,975 --> 00:48:55,227
I am covered in strawberry jam!

959
00:48:55,228 --> 00:48:57,813
Eugh. Don't taste it, okay?

960
00:48:57,814 --> 00:49:00,399
- What jam?
- Felix will be fine.

961
00:49:17,666 --> 00:49:19,459
Stop screaming, please!

962
00:49:19,460 --> 00:49:20,960
Just shut up!

963
00:49:20,961 --> 00:49:22,545
What is that noise?

964
00:49:22,546 --> 00:49:25,716
It's a helicopter!
They've come to get me!

965
00:49:26,842 --> 00:49:28,176
Get out of my way!

966
00:49:28,177 --> 00:49:29,761
What the...?!

967
00:49:29,762 --> 00:49:32,764
I'm coming! They found me!

968
00:49:34,183 --> 00:49:37,144
Hey! Hey! Hey!

969
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:40,814
It's me! I'm a celebr...

970
00:49:40,815 --> 00:49:43,775
Oh! Arggh! Oh, fuck!

971
00:49:49,781 --> 00:49:50,866
Whoa!

972
00:49:51,867 --> 00:49:52,951
Fuck!

973
00:49:53,619 --> 00:49:56,287
Open up! Hey!
Can you open the door?

974
00:49:56,288 --> 00:49:58,790
I'm sorry about what happened
before, but you...

975
00:49:58,791 --> 00:50:00,375
Get the fuck over here!

976
00:50:00,376 --> 00:50:02,376
Please?!

977
00:50:02,377 --> 00:50:05,254
I'm just scared. Open the door.

978
00:50:05,255 --> 00:50:09,218
You're being a bad teacher!
Fuck your teaching method!

979
00:50:09,219 --> 00:50:11,762
This is a terrible example you're setting!

980
00:50:11,763 --> 00:50:13,763
Argh! Argh!

981
00:50:19,770 --> 00:50:20,770
Teddy!

982
00:50:21,230 --> 00:50:22,272
Get up!

983
00:50:22,606 --> 00:50:25,359
Come on! Give me your hand!

984
00:50:45,796 --> 00:50:48,548
Oh, this is all my fault.

985
00:50:48,549 --> 00:50:51,592
God is punishing me.
- Wait, what do you mean?

986
00:50:51,593 --> 00:50:55,556
I've been bad, man.
I've been really fucking bad.

987
00:50:55,557 --> 00:50:57,474
I'm sure we've all done
things we regret.

988
00:50:57,475 --> 00:51:00,393
I fucked a shit-ton of moms.

989
00:51:00,394 --> 00:51:03,584
We're talking thousands.
Thousands.

990
00:51:03,585 --> 00:51:06,774
I was doing my first public appearance,

991
00:51:06,775 --> 00:51:11,780
and this sweet little single mom
came up to me after the autograph signing.

992
00:51:11,781 --> 00:51:14,115
And she was so fucking beautiful.

993
00:51:14,116 --> 00:51:18,161
And I went down on her pussy
in a South Coast Plaza disabled toilet.

994
00:51:18,162 --> 00:51:19,996
And then it was on.

995
00:51:19,997 --> 00:51:22,665
I just...
I took whoever I could get.

996
00:51:22,666 --> 00:51:25,919
Single moms, married moms, pregnant moms,

997
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:29,173
white moms, black moms, dyke moms, Jews.

998
00:51:30,549 --> 00:51:34,761
- My nephew almost died. I'm...
- I studied at the Actors Studio.

999
00:51:34,762 --> 00:51:37,764
I learnt Meisner from Pacino.

1000
00:51:37,765 --> 00:51:39,016
Al.

1001
00:51:40,976 --> 00:51:43,395
You think I wanted to be
in a polka dot suit

1002
00:51:43,396 --> 00:51:45,105
for the rest of my life?

1003
00:51:45,939 --> 00:51:48,150
I fucking hate
those little kiddlywinks.

1004
00:51:49,526 --> 00:51:52,738
Fucking the shit out of their moms
was the only thing that made it better.

1005
00:51:52,739 --> 00:51:54,572
Until it didn't.

1006
00:51:54,573 --> 00:51:56,575
You realize that you're only doing it...

1007
00:51:56,576 --> 00:51:58,075
Look at me.

1008
00:51:58,076 --> 00:52:02,623
You realize that you're only doing it
because you're dead inside.

1009
00:52:03,916 --> 00:52:07,794
And it's the only thing that's keeping you
from killing yourself.

1010
00:52:10,631 --> 00:52:12,049
I'm Dave.

1011
00:52:13,509 --> 00:52:15,928
Teddy McGiggle isn't even my real name.

1012
00:52:16,637 --> 00:52:18,429
It's Nathan.

1013
00:52:18,430 --> 00:52:19,597
Nathan McGiggle.

1014
00:52:19,598 --> 00:52:21,391
- Nathan Schneider.
- Oh.

1015
00:52:25,229 --> 00:52:27,397
What is that awful smell?

1016
00:52:31,109 --> 00:52:33,110
It's me, man. I was lying.

1017
00:52:33,111 --> 00:52:36,532
I was gonna blame you, but I can't.
I shit my pants.

1018
00:52:37,908 --> 00:52:40,786
Ohh, God!

1019
00:52:40,787 --> 00:52:42,746
I did it.

1020
00:52:47,084 --> 00:52:49,586
Ohh, no!

1021
00:53:16,822 --> 00:53:19,240
Sir? This could be helpful.

1022
00:53:19,241 --> 00:53:24,371
Aerial reconnaissance confirms
all of the infected are congregated here.

1023
00:53:24,372 --> 00:53:27,708
I would advise
we drop the bomb on the...

1024
00:53:27,709 --> 00:53:29,751
...Pleasant Valley souvenir store.

1025
00:53:37,718 --> 00:53:43,724
♪ Well, I'd like to visit the moon ♪

1026
00:53:44,766 --> 00:53:50,772
♪ On a rocket ship high in the air ♪

1027
00:53:51,857 --> 00:53:57,863
♪ Yes, I'd like to visit the moon ♪

1028
00:53:59,031 --> 00:54:04,828
♪ But I don't think
I'd like to live there ♪

1029
00:54:06,121 --> 00:54:09,333
♪ Though I'd like to look down ♪

1030
00:54:09,334 --> 00:54:13,107
♪ At the earth from above ♪

1031
00:54:13,108 --> 00:54:16,882
♪ I would miss all the places ♪

1032
00:54:16,883 --> 00:54:20,134
♪ And people I love ♪

1033
00:54:20,135 --> 00:54:24,264
♪ So although I may like it ♪

1034
00:54:24,265 --> 00:54:28,184
♪ For one afternoon ♪

1035
00:54:28,185 --> 00:54:32,730
♪ I don't want to live
on the moon ♪

1036
00:54:32,731 --> 00:54:37,276
<i>♪ Though I'd like to look down ♪</i>

1037
00:54:37,277 --> 00:54:41,822
<i>♪ At the earth from above ♪</i>

1038
00:54:41,823 --> 00:54:46,203
<i>♪ I would miss all the places ♪</i>

1039
00:54:46,204 --> 00:54:49,810
♪ And people I love ♪

1040
00:54:49,811 --> 00:54:54,200
♪ So although I may go ♪

1041
00:54:54,201 --> 00:54:57,959
♪ I'll be coming home soon ♪

1042
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:01,718
♪ 'Cause I don't want to live ♪

1043
00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:05,597
♪ On the moon ♪

1044
00:55:05,598 --> 00:55:09,851
♪ No, I don't ♪

1045
00:55:09,852 --> 00:55:13,876
♪ Want to live ♪

1046
00:55:13,877 --> 00:55:17,901
♪ On the moon ♪

1047
00:55:23,490 --> 00:55:25,470
Sweet dreams, duckies.

1048
00:55:25,471 --> 00:55:27,452
Good night.

1049
00:55:29,454 --> 00:55:30,496
Yes, Mickey?

1050
00:55:30,497 --> 00:55:33,478
Miss Caroline,
is there anything to eat?

1051
00:55:33,479 --> 00:55:36,242
I'm afraid you ate
the last of the chips.

1052
00:55:36,243 --> 00:55:39,006
I have tofu snacks
if you want them, Mickey.

1053
00:55:39,007 --> 00:55:40,215
Yuck.

1054
00:55:40,841 --> 00:55:44,553
When are we gonna play
putt-putt golf, Miss Caroline?

1055
00:55:44,554 --> 00:55:47,973
Certainly not now.
Go to sleep.

1056
00:55:54,688 --> 00:55:55,813
This is ridiculous.

1057
00:55:55,814 --> 00:55:57,816
What's the US military
even doing here?

1058
00:55:57,817 --> 00:55:59,150
Excuse me!

1059
00:55:59,151 --> 00:56:02,779
My son is inside.
Why won't you let us through?

1060
00:56:04,364 --> 00:56:06,282
I'm gonna try him again.

1061
00:56:06,283 --> 00:56:12,206
Got kangaroo, platypus,
echidna, wombat. Dingo?

1062
00:56:12,207 --> 00:56:14,540
Lieutenant, sir.
Why are we here?

1063
00:56:14,541 --> 00:56:17,294
- Zombies again.
- Well, fast ones or slow ones, sir?

1064
00:56:17,295 --> 00:56:19,796
Slow.
We need to contain the infection,

1065
00:56:19,797 --> 00:56:21,798
so shoot anything that moves.

1066
00:56:22,799 --> 00:56:24,718
Thank God they're slow.

1067
00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:25,969
Mm-hmm.

1068
00:56:27,763 --> 00:56:30,766
<i>Hey, it's Dave.
Just leave a message.</i>

1069
00:56:30,767 --> 00:56:33,726
Dave, I'm here. I'm nearby.

1070
00:56:33,727 --> 00:56:36,813
They won't let me past to where you are,
and they won't tell us anything.

1071
00:56:40,317 --> 00:56:41,442
If you get this message,

1072
00:56:41,443 --> 00:56:43,820
could you please tell Felix
that Mommy loves him?

1073
00:56:46,323 --> 00:56:48,283
Dave, please look after him.

1074
00:56:52,829 --> 00:56:55,540
Hey. Are you okay, mate?

1075
00:56:55,541 --> 00:56:58,794
Yes, but Beth is a bit frightened.

1076
00:56:58,795 --> 00:57:01,588
My mom puts me to bed.

1077
00:57:01,589 --> 00:57:03,548
Oh.

1078
00:57:03,549 --> 00:57:05,217
Well, we're gonna see your mom tomorrow.

1079
00:57:05,218 --> 00:57:06,676
I'm scared.

1080
00:57:06,677 --> 00:57:10,514
My mommy made up a special rhyme
to help me go to sleep.

1081
00:57:10,515 --> 00:57:12,307
Do you want to hear it?

1082
00:57:13,517 --> 00:57:17,228
"Now the day is over
and I'm in bed, rugged up tight,

1083
00:57:17,229 --> 00:57:21,024
"I hope those little monsters
won't get me in the night.

1084
00:57:21,025 --> 00:57:24,820
"If I say this little rhyme,
they'll try to put up a fight,

1085
00:57:24,821 --> 00:57:26,028
"But they won't come get me,

1086
00:57:26,029 --> 00:57:28,781
"No, they won't give me a fright.

1087
00:57:28,782 --> 00:57:31,576
Little monsters, you go away!
Little monsters..."

1088
00:57:31,577 --> 00:57:34,788
Oh, I think we need Beth
to help with this bit, yeah?

1089
00:57:34,789 --> 00:57:37,791
Beth, when I point at you,
can you say, "Go away"?

1090
00:57:37,792 --> 00:57:39,793
- Go away?
- Yeah, exactly like that.

1091
00:57:39,794 --> 00:57:41,294
Yeah. Okay, let's start again.

1092
00:57:41,295 --> 00:57:44,339
"Little monsters, you can't stay!

1093
00:57:44,340 --> 00:57:47,050
"I don't want to see your little claws!

1094
00:57:47,051 --> 00:57:49,761
"I don't want to hear your little roars!

1095
00:57:49,762 --> 00:57:51,013
Little monsters..."

1096
00:57:51,014 --> 00:57:52,138
"Go away!"

1097
00:57:52,139 --> 00:57:54,725
"Come back and see me in the day.

1098
00:57:54,726 --> 00:57:57,269
"We can have a little party

1099
00:57:57,270 --> 00:57:59,812
"And eat cake and tea and play.

1100
00:57:59,813 --> 00:58:02,232
"But we all must get a proper sleep,

1101
00:58:02,233 --> 00:58:04,818
So, little monsters, please..."

1102
00:58:04,819 --> 00:58:06,027
"Go away!"

1103
00:58:06,028 --> 00:58:09,323
That's it.
That's exactly it.

1104
00:58:09,324 --> 00:58:11,012
You reckon you can sleep now?

1105
00:58:11,013 --> 00:58:12,701
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah? Okay.

1106
00:58:15,037 --> 00:58:17,789
How did you know the rhyme, Uncle David?

1107
00:58:18,874 --> 00:58:22,794
Well, your mom used to sing it
to me before I went to sleep.

1108
00:58:22,795 --> 00:58:24,795
Back when I was Boo-Boo.

1109
00:58:24,796 --> 00:58:26,798
- Boo-Boo?
- Boo-Boo, yeah.

1110
00:58:26,799 --> 00:58:28,079
You want to get some rest, mate?

1111
00:58:33,722 --> 00:58:35,766
- Goodnight, Uncle David.
- 'Night, mate.

1112
00:58:47,653 --> 00:58:50,739
Oh, God.

1113
00:59:25,941 --> 00:59:28,360
Sorry I've been swearing
so much, Audrey.

1114
00:59:29,319 --> 00:59:30,779
That's fine, David.

1115
00:59:32,239 --> 00:59:34,366
I'm fucking terrified too.

1116
00:59:36,118 --> 00:59:39,162
I just need them to feel like
the adults are in control, you know?

1117
00:59:42,457 --> 00:59:46,170
- How do you do it?
- Do what?

1118
00:59:47,045 --> 00:59:48,380
Be a superhero.

1119
00:59:49,381 --> 00:59:50,924
Not quite.

1120
00:59:53,343 --> 00:59:54,969
Do you want kids?

1121
00:59:54,970 --> 00:59:57,680
Oh... my girlfriend and I just split.

1122
00:59:57,681 --> 01:00:00,392
Yeah, I caught her with someone else.

1123
01:00:00,393 --> 01:00:01,393
Oh.

1124
01:00:02,227 --> 01:00:03,478
That's... awful.

1125
01:00:06,648 --> 01:00:07,900
See, it wasn't her fault.

1126
01:00:08,942 --> 01:00:10,402
I left first.

1127
01:00:11,403 --> 01:00:13,405
She wanted a baby. I didn't.

1128
01:00:14,865 --> 01:00:16,158
How come?

1129
01:00:17,409 --> 01:00:19,745
I told her I didn't want it
to get in the way of my band.

1130
01:00:19,746 --> 01:00:22,372
Was that not the reason?

1131
01:00:24,666 --> 01:00:27,669
Felix's mom reckons I might be
frightened of being a father.

1132
01:00:30,339 --> 01:00:33,862
See, our dad left
when I was about Felix's age.

1133
01:00:33,863 --> 01:00:37,626
Started another family,
left Tess and I with mom.

1134
01:00:37,627 --> 01:00:41,391
Mom fell apart.
Like, <i>really</i> fell apart.

1135
01:00:43,852 --> 01:00:46,146
We spent our holidays in psych wards.

1136
01:00:46,813 --> 01:00:49,775
- I'm so sorry.
- Yeah.

1137
01:00:50,859 --> 01:00:52,319
Tess looked after me.

1138
01:00:55,364 --> 01:00:58,367
I couldn't see that at the time, though.
I was too angry at everyone.

1139
01:01:00,410 --> 01:01:01,912
I never thanked her.

1140
01:01:02,871 --> 01:01:05,916
I'm sure you won't end up
like your father, David.

1141
01:01:09,378 --> 01:01:13,402
"The man in between
waits between the two,

1142
01:01:13,403 --> 01:01:17,396
"Not hearing the lie,
not seeing the true,

1143
01:01:17,397 --> 01:01:20,832
"Unknowing what is
and denying what seems,

1144
01:01:20,833 --> 01:01:24,268
And there he will sleep,
the man in between."

1145
01:01:25,602 --> 01:01:28,145
Wow. Is that Gandhi?

1146
01:01:28,146 --> 01:01:30,399
No. Neil Diamond.

1147
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:32,088
You like Neil Diamond?

1148
01:01:32,089 --> 01:01:33,777
I love Neil Diamond.

1149
01:01:35,362 --> 01:01:36,404
Oh.

1150
01:01:36,405 --> 01:01:40,366
You may think I'm a superhero, but...

1151
01:01:40,367 --> 01:01:44,538
When I was 18,
I was heading down a really bad path.

1152
01:01:45,414 --> 01:01:48,624
I started following this band around.

1153
01:01:48,625 --> 01:01:52,379
I used the money my parents
had put away for my education,

1154
01:01:52,380 --> 01:01:54,006
and I followed them here.

1155
01:01:54,007 --> 01:01:54,881
Whoa.

1156
01:01:54,882 --> 01:01:57,175
I chased them all around Australia,

1157
01:01:57,176 --> 01:02:00,136
and I break into one of
their hotel rooms in Perth.

1158
01:02:00,137 --> 01:02:03,140
Well, I was just so determined
to meet one of them in person.

1159
01:02:04,141 --> 01:02:05,976
I would have let them
do anything to me.

1160
01:02:08,395 --> 01:02:10,229
What... what happened?

1161
01:02:10,230 --> 01:02:16,069
Oh, Taylor walked into the room
and called security right away.

1162
01:02:16,070 --> 01:02:18,030
Hang on. Wait. Swift?

1163
01:02:18,780 --> 01:02:20,406
No!

1164
01:02:20,407 --> 01:02:23,410
Taylor Hanson. Sorry.
I thought I said who they were.

1165
01:02:23,411 --> 01:02:25,453
Taylor Hanson?

1166
01:02:25,454 --> 01:02:28,415
Yeah. Taylor Hanson.
From Hanson.

1167
01:02:28,416 --> 01:02:30,167
Hanson the band?

1168
01:02:30,959 --> 01:02:32,335
Yes.

1169
01:02:32,336 --> 01:02:34,671
- "Mmmbop"?
- "Mmmbop."

1170
01:02:35,756 --> 01:02:37,673
Mmm. Okay.

1171
01:02:37,674 --> 01:02:42,304
I begged him not to call security,
but he didn't even hesitate.

1172
01:02:42,305 --> 01:02:44,681
I didn't know what to do,
so I jumped out the window.

1173
01:02:44,682 --> 01:02:45,723
Shit.

1174
01:02:45,724 --> 01:02:50,354
But thank God, an awning broke my fall
and all I broke was my collarbone.

1175
01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:54,398
So, there I was.

1176
01:02:54,399 --> 01:02:58,487
In a foreign country, in a sling.
No parents, no money.

1177
01:02:58,488 --> 01:03:01,406
And then a wonderful thing happened.

1178
01:03:02,282 --> 01:03:04,659
I got a job helping out at the school

1179
01:03:04,660 --> 01:03:07,663
to help pay my medical bills
and get back home.

1180
01:03:07,664 --> 01:03:09,373
And working with kids...

1181
01:03:11,458 --> 01:03:13,897
...standing in front of them,

1182
01:03:13,898 --> 01:03:16,337
looking at me with no judgment...

1183
01:03:16,338 --> 01:03:19,424
They trusted me even when I didn't
particularly trust myself.

1184
01:03:20,467 --> 01:03:24,388
I started to believe in myself again,
you know?

1185
01:03:24,389 --> 01:03:25,806
Learned to step up.

1186
01:03:26,515 --> 01:03:29,351
And now I can't imagine
doing anything else.

1187
01:03:31,353 --> 01:03:34,398
Are you and... Ian gonna have kids?

1188
01:03:36,108 --> 01:03:40,153
I'm afraid Ian and I have not
been together for a long time.

1189
01:03:40,696 --> 01:03:43,407
He was cheating on me.
With someone from his work.

1190
01:03:45,325 --> 01:03:47,034
But why do you still wear the ring?

1191
01:03:47,035 --> 01:03:50,289
It stops fathers from hitting
on me in the playground.

1192
01:03:50,873 --> 01:03:52,164
I know it's bad to lie,

1193
01:03:52,165 --> 01:03:54,751
but you'd be surprised
how crude men can be.

1194
01:04:00,966 --> 01:04:02,926
My band broke up six years ago.

1195
01:04:04,386 --> 01:04:06,972
God's Sledgehammer fell apart
when my bandmates quit.

1196
01:04:10,058 --> 01:04:11,768
And I'm not really Christian.

1197
01:04:14,396 --> 01:04:16,106
Anything else you've lied about?

1198
01:04:16,690 --> 01:04:20,360
No, I think that pretty much covers it.

1199
01:04:20,361 --> 01:04:21,402
Okay. Good.

1200
01:04:21,403 --> 01:04:24,531
Otherwise I'd have to put you
in the naughty corner.

1201
01:04:25,782 --> 01:04:28,994
Uh-oh.

1202
01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:31,747
Why don't I stay up on watch?

1203
01:04:32,706 --> 01:04:35,000
No, no. You need sleep more than anyone.

1204
01:04:36,126 --> 01:04:37,377
Um... I'll step up.

1205
01:04:38,378 --> 01:04:39,421
Okay.

1206
01:04:45,385 --> 01:04:46,470
'Night.

1207
01:05:00,734 --> 01:05:03,403
<i>All-unit command, all-unit command.</i>

1208
01:05:04,738 --> 01:05:07,199
<i>All-unit command, all-unit command.</i>

1209
01:05:09,409 --> 01:05:12,161
In order to ensure total
annihilation of the infected,

1210
01:05:12,162 --> 01:05:16,917
we will proceed with Operation Hailstorm
in T-minus one hour.

1211
01:05:26,051 --> 01:05:27,427
Oh!

1212
01:05:29,888 --> 01:05:32,766
I've got an idea to get us out of here.

1213
01:05:32,767 --> 01:05:35,394
No. No, no, no!

1214
01:05:35,395 --> 01:05:37,396
No, no, no.

1215
01:05:37,397 --> 01:05:39,355
No.

1216
01:05:39,356 --> 01:05:42,400
I'm not going anywhere.
Want to know why?

1217
01:05:42,401 --> 01:05:46,113
Because I'm the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice
Favorite Global Television Presenter

1218
01:05:46,114 --> 01:05:47,447
five years running, that's why.

1219
01:05:47,448 --> 01:05:48,781
You want to know what that means?

1220
01:05:48,782 --> 01:05:52,369
That means to the layman
I'm a huge fucking deal.

1221
01:05:52,370 --> 01:05:54,517
Someone will notice that I'm missing,

1222
01:05:54,518 --> 01:05:56,529
sound the alarm,
and come and get me.

1223
01:05:56,530 --> 01:05:58,541
We can't stay here indefinitely.

1224
01:05:58,542 --> 01:06:00,419
We're good as dead if we stay here.
There's no food.

1225
01:06:00,420 --> 01:06:02,546
We'll eat one of the kids.

1226
01:06:03,505 --> 01:06:05,299
I hope you're joking.

1227
01:06:06,758 --> 01:06:09,553
Look, Teddy, all we need
for you to do is make a distraction

1228
01:06:09,554 --> 01:06:11,388
while I make a run for the tractor train.

1229
01:06:11,389 --> 01:06:12,638
I drive it to the front door,

1230
01:06:12,639 --> 01:06:14,266
we load everyone up,
and we drive out of here.

1231
01:06:14,267 --> 01:06:16,018
Oh, you're fucked in the head, fatso.

1232
01:06:16,019 --> 01:06:17,393
Why can't you go?

1233
01:06:17,394 --> 01:06:19,354
I'm not leaving the children
alone with you.

1234
01:06:19,355 --> 01:06:20,104
Pfft!

1235
01:06:20,105 --> 01:06:23,754
If your big idea
is to drive in a tractor

1236
01:06:23,755 --> 01:06:26,580
designed to pull fuckmonkeys
around a farm,

1237
01:06:26,581 --> 01:06:29,405
then you're bigger idiots than I thought.

1238
01:06:29,406 --> 01:06:32,159
And I thought you were both
the stupidest people I've ever met.

1239
01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:35,204
- What would you suggest?
- The McGigglemobile.

1240
01:06:36,413 --> 01:06:37,413
What?

1241
01:06:37,414 --> 01:06:39,123
What, are you fucking deaf?

1242
01:06:39,124 --> 01:06:42,461
I said in a loud whisper,
"The McGigglemobile."

1243
01:06:42,462 --> 01:06:43,920
What's the McGigglemobile?

1244
01:06:43,921 --> 01:06:47,361
It's my bright red car,
you fucking cunt.

1245
01:06:47,362 --> 01:06:50,801
I travel around the world in it
making memories

1246
01:06:50,802 --> 01:06:55,390
and sharing those memories
with children all over the country.

1247
01:06:55,391 --> 01:06:56,725
Many countries.

1248
01:06:57,601 --> 01:06:59,268
Why is that better?

1249
01:06:59,269 --> 01:07:03,774
The McGigglemobile has a flap
in the roof. The Frogsie flap.

1250
01:07:03,775 --> 01:07:04,482
We drive the car around,

1251
01:07:04,483 --> 01:07:07,069
the kiddlywinks jump
into the McGigglemobile

1252
01:07:07,070 --> 01:07:08,194
through the Frogsie flap,

1253
01:07:08,195 --> 01:07:11,573
and we drive the fuck out of here.

1254
01:07:11,574 --> 01:07:12,699
Who's got the keys?

1255
01:07:15,410 --> 01:07:16,578
That actually could work.

1256
01:07:18,205 --> 01:07:19,206
Great idea, Teddy.

1257
01:07:20,165 --> 01:07:21,458
Great enough for a blow job?

1258
01:07:24,378 --> 01:07:27,256
Um... I'm a sex addict.

1259
01:07:36,598 --> 01:07:38,600
Hey. Listen.

1260
01:07:39,351 --> 01:07:41,227
Be careful when you...

1261
01:07:41,228 --> 01:07:43,105
Aarrghh! Goddammit!

1262
01:07:44,398 --> 01:07:45,815
Are you okay, Teddy?

1263
01:07:45,816 --> 01:07:48,443
Does it look like I'm okay,
you shithead?!

1264
01:07:49,486 --> 01:07:53,030
Miss Caroline! Miss Caroline!

1265
01:07:53,031 --> 01:07:55,617
Miss Caroline, I'm hungry.

1266
01:07:55,618 --> 01:07:57,034
- I know.
- Miss Caroline?

1267
01:07:57,035 --> 01:07:59,955
- I don't want to play this game anymore.
- Uh-huh.

1268
01:07:59,956 --> 01:08:02,456
It makes no sense,
and the zombies look fake.

1269
01:08:02,457 --> 01:08:06,628
Miss Caroline, when are
we gonna play putt-putt golf?!

1270
01:08:06,629 --> 01:08:09,923
Yo! Douchebag!
Are we gonna do this thing or what?

1271
01:08:09,924 --> 01:08:11,716
What's a douchebag?

1272
01:08:11,717 --> 01:08:15,429
It's a small bag that ladies
use to irrigate their vaginas.

1273
01:08:15,430 --> 01:08:17,097
One, two, three, eyes on me.

1274
01:08:17,098 --> 01:08:18,765
One, two, eyes on you!

1275
01:08:22,394 --> 01:08:24,396
♪ Where it began... ♪

1276
01:08:24,397 --> 01:08:26,355
Oh, Jesus.

1277
01:08:26,356 --> 01:08:29,443
♪ I can't begin to knowing ♪

1278
01:08:30,068 --> 01:08:34,239
♪ But then, I know it's growing strong ♪

1279
01:08:37,367 --> 01:08:39,369
♪ Was in the spring ♪

1280
01:08:41,371 --> 01:08:44,374
♪ Then spring became the summer ♪

1281
01:08:44,917 --> 01:08:48,170
♪ Who'd have believed
you'd come along? ♪

1282
01:08:51,298 --> 01:08:54,301
♪ Hands ♪

1283
01:08:56,094 --> 01:08:58,096
♪ Touching hands ♪

1284
01:08:59,848 --> 01:09:01,808
♪ Reaching out ♪

1285
01:09:03,393 --> 01:09:07,397
♪ Touching me, touching you ♪

1286
01:09:09,399 --> 01:09:12,361
♪ Miss Caroline ♪

1287
01:09:12,362 --> 01:09:14,070
That's you!

1288
01:09:14,071 --> 01:09:18,325
♪ Good times
never seemed so good ♪

1289
01:09:20,202 --> 01:09:23,413
♪ I'd be inclined ♪

1290
01:09:24,581 --> 01:09:28,292
♪ To believe
they never would ♪

1291
01:09:28,293 --> 01:09:31,672
Come on, kids.
I need your help! Sing it with me.

1292
01:09:31,673 --> 01:09:34,216
♪ Miss Caroline ♪

1293
01:09:34,217 --> 01:09:35,925
♪ Ba-ba-bom ♪

1294
01:09:35,926 --> 01:09:39,555
♪ Good times
never seemed so good ♪

1295
01:09:42,015 --> 01:09:44,685
♪ I'd be inclined ♪

1296
01:09:46,603 --> 01:09:50,274
♪ To believe they never would ♪

1297
01:09:50,275 --> 01:09:53,359
♪ No, no ♪

1298
01:09:53,360 --> 01:09:56,904
♪ Miss Caroline ♪

1299
01:10:05,998 --> 01:10:07,957
I love Neil Diamond too.

1300
01:10:07,958 --> 01:10:10,878
Just... wasn't ready
to admit it until now.

1301
01:10:14,047 --> 01:10:17,300
- Uncle David?
- Hey, buddy.

1302
01:10:17,301 --> 01:10:19,469
I'm just ducking out for a bit,
okay, mate?

1303
01:10:19,470 --> 01:10:20,762
Where are you going?

1304
01:10:21,889 --> 01:10:23,265
I'm gonna get us out of here.

1305
01:10:23,724 --> 01:10:26,351
Is this still all part of the game?

1306
01:10:26,352 --> 01:10:27,935
Yeah!

1307
01:10:27,936 --> 01:10:30,772
Yeah, of course it is.
Miss Caroline's gonna keep you safe.

1308
01:10:31,481 --> 01:10:33,587
You do whatever
she tells you to, okay?

1309
01:10:33,588 --> 01:10:35,694
She's my teacher.
I have to do that.

1310
01:10:36,778 --> 01:10:38,404
You're an amazing boy.

1311
01:10:38,405 --> 01:10:40,865
Don't let anyone ever tell you
you're not strong.

1312
01:10:40,866 --> 01:10:43,327
You're the strongest,
bravest person I've ever met.

1313
01:10:44,119 --> 01:10:45,871
Why are you telling me this?

1314
01:10:46,788 --> 01:10:48,207
'Cause you're awesome.

1315
01:10:48,957 --> 01:10:50,083
Give me a cuddle.

1316
01:10:55,797 --> 01:10:56,798
Okay.

1317
01:10:58,133 --> 01:11:00,427
Hey, kids, who wants a ride
in the McGigglemobile?

1318
01:11:00,428 --> 01:11:02,679
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

1319
01:11:03,639 --> 01:11:07,518
See you soon, kiddlywinks!

1320
01:11:26,870 --> 01:11:28,664
I see the McGigglemobile.

1321
01:11:29,331 --> 01:11:32,417
I can't do this.
I'm a celebrity.

1322
01:11:35,796 --> 01:11:37,631
Want to make up for all
the bad things you've done?

1323
01:11:37,632 --> 01:11:39,341
All those mums you fucked?

1324
01:11:40,926 --> 01:11:43,303
If Pacino were here,
what would he say?

1325
01:11:43,304 --> 01:11:44,387
He'd encourage me

1326
01:11:44,388 --> 01:11:48,141
to magnify and intensify
my connection to the material

1327
01:11:48,142 --> 01:11:51,895
by understanding my character's
emotional experience.

1328
01:11:51,896 --> 01:11:54,397
Well... do that.

1329
01:11:54,398 --> 01:11:57,359
Do it for Pacino.
I'll distract them.

1330
01:11:57,360 --> 01:11:59,862
I'll see you
at the McGigglemobile.

1331
01:11:59,863 --> 01:12:02,865
Hey!

1332
01:12:07,160 --> 01:12:09,120
Hey! Yeah!

1333
01:12:09,121 --> 01:12:11,123
Yes! Yes!

1334
01:12:11,999 --> 01:12:13,457
Fuck!

1335
01:12:13,458 --> 01:12:14,877
Hey! Yes!

1336
01:12:15,711 --> 01:12:17,837
Hey! Over here!

1337
01:12:17,838 --> 01:12:19,485
For Pacino.

1338
01:12:22,885 --> 01:12:24,845
Yes!

1339
01:12:32,352 --> 01:12:33,478
Aahhh!

1340
01:12:37,524 --> 01:12:38,525
Arggh!

1341
01:12:50,537 --> 01:12:52,497
Well, hi-ho, kiddlywinks.

1342
01:13:06,053 --> 01:13:08,347
Arggh! Arggh!

1343
01:13:09,515 --> 01:13:11,391
I fucked your mom!

1344
01:13:12,935 --> 01:13:14,311
I fucked <i>your</i> mom!

1345
01:13:15,938 --> 01:13:18,524
You. Oh, I fucked your mom.

1346
01:13:23,195 --> 01:13:25,364
Ow! My ass!

1347
01:13:31,578 --> 01:13:34,373
Hyah! How do YOU like it, huh?!

1348
01:13:34,374 --> 01:13:36,083
Oh, God! What have I done?

1349
01:13:38,043 --> 01:13:39,043
Eugh!

1350
01:13:39,044 --> 01:13:40,504
Oh, shit!

1351
01:13:51,640 --> 01:13:53,349
Yes!

1352
01:13:53,350 --> 01:13:54,434
Yes!

1353
01:13:56,249 --> 01:13:58,063
Fuck. Fuck.

1354
01:13:59,356 --> 01:14:00,399
It's locked.

1355
01:14:02,317 --> 01:14:03,485
Open the door!

1356
01:14:07,406 --> 01:14:09,324
Open the fucking door.

1357
01:14:11,159 --> 01:14:13,203
Open the fucking door!

1358
01:14:16,415 --> 01:14:17,916
Fuck.

1359
01:14:17,917 --> 01:14:20,147
Open the fucking door, Nathan!

1360
01:14:20,148 --> 01:14:22,379
Fuck.

1361
01:14:27,718 --> 01:14:29,052
Help me!

1362
01:14:29,887 --> 01:14:32,514
I hope you die!

1363
01:14:37,561 --> 01:14:39,438
What's happening, Miss Caroline?

1364
01:14:39,439 --> 01:14:42,211
Your Uncle David...

1365
01:14:42,212 --> 01:14:44,985
is at the McGigglemobile!

1366
01:15:09,676 --> 01:15:10,676
Tess!

1367
01:15:10,677 --> 01:15:13,304
Dave! Oh, God. Where are you?

1368
01:15:13,305 --> 01:15:15,849
Uh, I'm at the farm.
Miss Caroline and the kids are here.

1369
01:15:15,850 --> 01:15:17,391
- <i>Felix?</i>
- Yeah, he's with her.

1370
01:15:17,392 --> 01:15:19,644
Listen, you need to send
someone in to get us.

1371
01:15:19,645 --> 01:15:21,521
Okay. Uh, the military have
blocked off the road,

1372
01:15:21,522 --> 01:15:23,398
but they won't let us through.
We're not far from you.

1373
01:15:23,399 --> 01:15:25,526
Why aren't you with Felix?
Are you okay?

1374
01:15:26,610 --> 01:15:29,363
Look, Tess,
I need to tell you something.

1375
01:15:29,364 --> 01:15:31,364
It's really important,

1376
01:15:31,365 --> 01:15:33,367
and I should have done it
a long time ago.

1377
01:15:34,409 --> 01:15:36,452
But thank you.

1378
01:15:36,453 --> 01:15:38,246
- What?
- <i>You stepped up.</i>

1379
01:15:38,247 --> 01:15:41,124
You always took care of me when
things went to shit with mom.

1380
01:15:41,125 --> 01:15:43,005
<i>I don't know what I would have
done without you.</i>

1381
01:15:44,086 --> 01:15:47,214
<i>Thank you, sis.
I tried to repay you, but...</i>

1382
01:15:47,215 --> 01:15:49,466
I'm pretty sure I've just fucked it.

1383
01:15:49,467 --> 01:15:51,384
Ah! No! Fuck!

1384
01:15:51,385 --> 01:15:53,428
<i>Stupid fucking frog!</i>

1385
01:15:54,388 --> 01:15:57,391
Boo-Boo?

1386
01:15:59,601 --> 01:16:02,145
Miss Caroline,
when will we play putt-putt golf?!

1387
01:16:02,146 --> 01:16:03,020
Not now, Max.

1388
01:16:03,021 --> 01:16:06,984
No! I want to play putt-putt
golf now!

1389
01:16:06,985 --> 01:16:09,340
Max.

1390
01:16:09,341 --> 01:16:11,696
Max!

1391
01:16:11,697 --> 01:16:13,949
I'm not... I'm not gonna
talk to you on that level.

1392
01:16:13,950 --> 01:16:16,368
Stop it. Hey.

1393
01:16:18,183 --> 01:16:19,996
Max, listen to me.

1394
01:16:19,997 --> 01:16:21,373
- Miss Caroline!
- Beth, I'm speaking.

1395
01:16:22,541 --> 01:16:24,668
- Miss Caroline!
- What is it, Beth?!

1396
01:16:24,669 --> 01:16:26,003
Felix is gone!

1397
01:16:39,975 --> 01:16:41,977
Pew, pew! Pew! Pew, pew, pew!

1398
01:16:41,978 --> 01:16:43,937
Pew! Pew, pew!

1399
01:18:19,783 --> 01:18:22,494
- Hi, Uncle David!
- Felix!

1400
01:18:24,913 --> 01:18:26,331
I'm on the tractor!

1401
01:18:28,709 --> 01:18:29,751
Oopsy!

1402
01:18:30,294 --> 01:18:33,254
Felix! Felix!

1403
01:18:41,555 --> 01:18:42,973
Here, Uncle David!

1404
01:18:44,892 --> 01:18:47,394
Uncle David! Over here!

1405
01:18:47,395 --> 01:18:48,477
Ha ha!

1406
01:18:48,478 --> 01:18:50,772
I told you you were the bravest
person I'd ever met.

1407
01:18:50,773 --> 01:18:52,982
- Yeah?
- The clutch is on the left.

1408
01:18:52,983 --> 01:18:55,402
The clutch is on the left.
Stay in character.

1409
01:18:55,403 --> 01:18:57,083
The clutch is on the left.

1410
01:19:00,866 --> 01:19:04,661
It doesn't matter if we don't
win the game, Miss Caroline.

1411
01:19:19,218 --> 01:19:20,259
Felix did it!

1412
01:19:20,260 --> 01:19:22,304
I used my putter as a shooty gun.

1413
01:19:22,305 --> 01:19:24,180
Pew, pew! Pew!
- Whoa!

1414
01:19:24,181 --> 01:19:27,392
There's heaps of them out there, though.
We've got to go!

1415
01:19:28,435 --> 01:19:30,895
One, two, three! Eyes on me!

1416
01:19:30,896 --> 01:19:33,356
One, two! Eyes on you!

1417
01:19:33,357 --> 01:19:35,150
Who wants to play putt-putt golf?!

1418
01:19:36,693 --> 01:19:40,989
Arggh!

1419
01:19:43,742 --> 01:19:45,994
Careful, duckies! Watch out!

1420
01:19:48,163 --> 01:19:51,667
Go, Max! Go, Max! Go, Max!

1421
01:19:51,668 --> 01:19:54,545
Go, Max! Go, Max! Go, Max!

1422
01:19:56,338 --> 01:19:59,258
Go, Max! Go, Max! Go, Max!

1423
01:20:04,888 --> 01:20:06,890
Ha ha! You suck, you guys!

1424
01:20:06,891 --> 01:20:09,685
Yay!

1425
01:20:10,686 --> 01:20:11,937
Okay. Sit down, now.

1426
01:20:13,522 --> 01:20:14,564
Good boy.

1427
01:20:14,565 --> 01:20:16,065
I spoke to Tess!

1428
01:20:16,066 --> 01:20:17,943
She said the military is on the road!

1429
01:20:18,569 --> 01:20:20,320
We just have to make it there!
- Thank you.

1430
01:20:29,079 --> 01:20:32,374
Okay. Remember this one?
Sing with me, now.

1431
01:20:33,542 --> 01:20:37,212
♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round ♪

1432
01:20:37,213 --> 01:20:40,965
♪ Round and round,
round and round ♪

1433
01:20:40,966 --> 01:20:44,011
♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round ♪

1434
01:20:44,012 --> 01:20:47,890
♪ All through the town ♪

1435
01:20:58,775 --> 01:21:02,029
♪ Old Macdonald had a farm ♪

1436
01:21:02,030 --> 01:21:08,035
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪

1437
01:21:11,288 --> 01:21:12,789
Miss Caroline!

1438
01:21:17,461 --> 01:21:21,298
♪ If you're happy and you know it,
clap your hands ♪

1439
01:21:25,677 --> 01:21:29,806
♪ If you're happy and you know it,
clap your hands ♪

1440
01:21:33,727 --> 01:21:36,021
♪ If you're happy and you know it,
say hooray ♪

1441
01:21:36,022 --> 01:21:37,835
Hooray!

1442
01:21:39,650 --> 01:21:42,319
♪ If you're happy and you know it,
say hooray ♪

1443
01:21:42,320 --> 01:21:43,674
Hooray!

1444
01:21:45,030 --> 01:21:47,052
♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪

1445
01:21:47,053 --> 01:21:49,075
♪ And you really want to show it ♪

1446
01:21:49,076 --> 01:21:51,954
♪ If you're happy and you know it,
say hooray ♪

1447
01:21:51,955 --> 01:21:53,872
Hooray!

1448
01:21:58,335 --> 01:21:59,961
Let's go!

1449
01:21:59,962 --> 01:22:01,338
Move, move, move,
move, move, move!

1450
01:22:07,427 --> 01:22:09,972
<i>Waiting for confirmation
to engage Hailstorm.</i>

1451
01:22:10,931 --> 01:22:12,850
<i>Target is T-minus...</i>

1452
01:22:13,559 --> 01:22:15,102
Sir, what is it?

1453
01:22:15,936 --> 01:22:18,230
Looks like we've got some survivors.

1454
01:22:18,231 --> 01:22:20,023
They could be infected.

1455
01:22:21,066 --> 01:22:22,525
Hey!

1456
01:22:22,526 --> 01:22:26,071
♪ Three little ducks
went out one day ♪

1457
01:22:26,072 --> 01:22:29,991
♪ Over the hills and far away

1458
01:22:29,992 --> 01:22:32,911
♪ Mother Duck said
quack, quack, quack... ♪

1459
01:22:32,912 --> 01:22:34,600
How many are there?

1460
01:22:34,601 --> 01:22:36,290
There's at least two.

1461
01:22:36,874 --> 01:22:42,421
One man driving a tractor,
a woman... playing a small guitar.

1462
01:22:42,422 --> 01:22:44,381
Sir, that's a ukulele, sir!

1463
01:22:45,132 --> 01:22:47,301
Well, whatever it is,
they're gonna be obliterated.

1464
01:22:47,302 --> 01:22:50,742
♪ Two little ducks
went out one day

1465
01:22:50,743 --> 01:22:54,183
♪ Over the hills
and far away... ♪

1466
01:22:54,184 --> 01:22:56,185
Okay, let's bring 'em closer.

1467
01:22:57,978 --> 01:22:59,416
Everyone hold position!

1468
01:22:59,417 --> 01:23:00,782
Let us through!

1469
01:23:00,783 --> 01:23:02,148
Wait for my command!

1470
01:23:02,149 --> 01:23:04,568
♪ ...little duck went out one day ♪

1471
01:23:04,569 --> 01:23:05,861
♪ Over the hills and... ♪

1472
01:23:05,862 --> 01:23:07,029
Is that singing?

1473
01:23:08,530 --> 01:23:11,491
- Who would be singing?
- Maybe it's the zombies, sir.

1474
01:23:12,075 --> 01:23:13,619
Zombies don't sing.

1475
01:23:16,121 --> 01:23:18,081
♪ Five little ducks came back... ♪

1476
01:23:18,082 --> 01:23:20,082
We got tiny children!

1477
01:23:20,083 --> 01:23:22,628
- Did he just say kids?
- Yes, sir.

1478
01:23:23,670 --> 01:23:24,713
Kids.

1479
01:23:25,464 --> 01:23:26,756
Goddammit!

1480
01:23:26,757 --> 01:23:28,675
Sir.

1481
01:23:30,636 --> 01:23:33,889
I can't shoot kids.
Again.

1482
01:23:33,890 --> 01:23:34,973
Sir!

1483
01:23:35,974 --> 01:23:37,808
That's against protocol, sir!

1484
01:23:37,809 --> 01:23:39,853
All right, let 'em through!
Let 'em through!

1485
01:23:42,147 --> 01:23:45,526
- ♪ Five little ducks came back ♪
- Hey, this... it's music!

1486
01:23:45,527 --> 01:23:47,528
They're harmless
when you play music!

1487
01:23:50,614 --> 01:23:53,951
You've just got to sing them a song.
Sing them a song!

1488
01:23:55,536 --> 01:23:56,870
Open fire!

1489
01:24:00,542 --> 01:24:02,251
It's okay!

1490
01:24:14,721 --> 01:24:16,806
Okay, you... you all need...

1491
01:24:16,807 --> 01:24:18,100
Okay. No, no, no.
Quick, quick. Come on.

1492
01:24:18,101 --> 01:24:19,685
Okay. Only one at a time.

1493
01:24:27,901 --> 01:24:29,319
<i>Engage Hailstorm.</i>

1494
01:24:47,963 --> 01:24:49,923
Whew!

1495
01:24:54,344 --> 01:24:55,637
I'm sorry. I...

1496
01:25:05,814 --> 01:25:08,609
Whoa!

1497
01:25:11,028 --> 01:25:12,654
Fireworks, everyone.

1498
01:25:16,742 --> 01:25:19,328
- Hey! Hey! Put them down!
- What are you doing?!

1499
01:25:19,329 --> 01:25:21,288
- Put them down!
- Hey, man!

1500
01:25:21,289 --> 01:25:22,977
Felix, it's fine!

1501
01:25:24,666 --> 01:25:26,418
Jesus Christ!

1502
01:25:44,186 --> 01:25:46,605
Is this the good news room
or the bad news room?

1503
01:25:46,606 --> 01:25:47,856
Good news room, sir.

1504
01:25:52,986 --> 01:25:54,487
All right!

1505
01:25:54,488 --> 01:25:56,573
Everyone needs to stop yelling!

1506
01:25:56,574 --> 01:25:58,658
Where are our children?!

1507
01:25:58,659 --> 01:26:01,327
Every class member is
safe and accounted for.

1508
01:26:01,328 --> 01:26:04,101
Can someone please tell us
what's happened to them?

1509
01:26:04,102 --> 01:26:06,874
Your children got caught up
in a, uh... a situation.

1510
01:26:06,875 --> 01:26:09,753
- Well, what the hell does that mean?
- I can't go into specifics.

1511
01:26:09,754 --> 01:26:12,109
But what I can say is
it could have been a lot worse

1512
01:26:12,110 --> 01:26:14,465
if it weren't for the actions
of their teachers.

1513
01:26:14,466 --> 01:26:17,052
- But they only have one teacher.
- Miss Caroline.

1514
01:26:17,053 --> 01:26:19,638
Yeah, Audrey Caroline and David, uh...

1515
01:26:19,639 --> 01:26:20,930
- Anderson.
- Anderson.

1516
01:26:20,931 --> 01:26:22,933
That's my brother.
That's Felix's uncle.

1517
01:26:23,767 --> 01:26:27,938
Well, Miss Caroline and Mr. Anderson
managed to protect your children

1518
01:26:27,939 --> 01:26:32,651
in a potentially lethal situation
for which there is no precedent.

1519
01:26:32,652 --> 01:26:36,071
I'm... still not quite sure
how they did it.

1520
01:26:36,780 --> 01:26:38,197
They're currently in quarantine,

1521
01:26:38,198 --> 01:26:41,660
and we will need to monitor them
for the next 48 hours.

1522
01:26:41,661 --> 01:26:44,558
They okay?
They must be terrified.

1523
01:26:44,559 --> 01:26:47,457
Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.

1524
01:26:51,336 --> 01:26:53,630
♪ I stay up too late ♪

1525
01:26:54,673 --> 01:26:56,592
♪ Got nothing in my brain ♪

1526
01:26:57,634 --> 01:27:00,636
♪ That's what people say, mm-mm ♪

1527
01:27:00,637 --> 01:27:03,619
♪ That's what people say,
mm-mm ♪

1528
01:27:03,620 --> 01:27:06,111
♪ I go on too many dates ♪

1529
01:27:06,112 --> 01:27:08,604
♪ But I can't make 'em stay ♪

1530
01:27:09,646 --> 01:27:13,066
♪ At least, that's what people say,
mm-mm ♪

1531
01:27:13,067 --> 01:27:15,777
♪ That's what people say, mm-mm ♪

1532
01:27:15,778 --> 01:27:18,237
♪ But I keep cruising ♪

1533
01:27:18,238 --> 01:27:21,282
♪ Can't stop, won't stop moving ♪

1534
01:27:21,283 --> 01:27:25,787
♪ It's like I've got this music
in my mind ♪

1535
01:27:25,788 --> 01:27:28,789
♪ Saying it's gonna be all right ♪

1536
01:27:28,790 --> 01:27:31,876
♪ 'Cause the players gonna
play, play, play, play, play ♪

1537
01:27:31,877 --> 01:27:35,004
♪ And the haters gonna hate,
hate, hate, hate, hate ♪

1538
01:27:35,005 --> 01:27:38,133
♪ Baby, I just wanna shake,
shake, shake, shake, shake ♪

1539
01:27:38,134 --> 01:27:40,384
♪ Shake it off, shake it off ♪

1540
01:27:40,385 --> 01:27:43,742
♪ Heartbreakers gonna break,
break, break, break, break ♪

1541
01:27:43,743 --> 01:27:47,048
♪ And the fakers gonna fake,
fake, fake, fake, fake ♪

1542
01:27:47,049 --> 01:27:50,354
♪ Baby, I just wanna shake,
shake, shake, shake, shake ♪

1543
01:27:50,355 --> 01:27:53,314
♪ I shake it off,
I shake it off ♪

1544
01:27:53,315 --> 01:27:56,630
♪ I shake it off,
I shake it off, ah-ah ♪

1545
01:27:56,631 --> 01:27:59,790
♪ I shake it off, I shake it off,
ah-ah ♪

1546
01:27:59,791 --> 01:28:02,950
♪ I shake it off,
I shake it off, ah-ah ♪

1547
01:28:02,951 --> 01:28:05,077
♪ I shake it off,
I shake it off ♪

1548
01:28:05,078 --> 01:28:06,244
And again now!

1549
01:28:06,245 --> 01:28:09,205
♪ Shake it off,
shake it off, ah-ah ♪

1550
01:28:09,206 --> 01:28:12,104
♪ Shake it off, shake it off,
ah-ah ♪

1551
01:28:12,105 --> 01:28:15,003
♪ I shake it off,
I shake it off, ah-ah ♪

1552
01:28:15,004 --> 01:28:17,631
♪ I shake it off
I shake it off! ♪

1553
01:28:22,302 --> 01:28:25,389
- Hi, mommy!
- Hi, Daddy!

1554
01:28:31,895 --> 01:28:32,938
<i>♪ Oh ♪</i>

1555
01:28:35,899 --> 01:28:36,984
<i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>

1556
01:28:39,903 --> 01:28:41,947
<i>♪ Oh, oh ♪</i>

1557
01:28:42,990 --> 01:28:45,950
<i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>

1558
01:28:45,951 --> 01:28:48,912
<i>♪ You have so many
relationships in this life ♪</i>

1559
01:28:48,913 --> 01:28:50,955
<i>♪ Only one or two may last ♪</i>

1560
01:28:50,956 --> 01:28:52,957
<i>♪ You go through
all the pain and strife ♪</i>

1561
01:28:52,958 --> 01:28:55,961
<i>♪ Then you turn your back
and they're gone so fast ♪</i>

1562
01:28:56,461 --> 01:28:57,461
<i>♪ Ooh, yeah ♪</i>

1563
01:28:58,755 --> 01:29:02,759
<i>♪ And they're gone so fast, yeah ♪</i>

1564
01:29:03,927 --> 01:29:06,929
<i>♪ Oh, so hold on to the ones
who really care ♪</i>

1565
01:29:06,930 --> 01:29:08,931
<i>♪ In the end,
they'll be the only ones there ♪</i>

1566
01:29:08,932 --> 01:29:12,727
<i>♪ And when you get old
and start losing your hair ♪</i>

1567
01:29:12,728 --> 01:29:16,522
<i>♪ Can you tell me
who will still care? ♪</i>

1568
01:29:16,523 --> 01:29:19,902
<i>♪ Can you tell me who
will still care? ♪</i>

1569
01:29:19,903 --> 01:29:21,986
<i>♪ Oh, care ♪</i>

1570
01:29:21,987 --> 01:29:23,946
<i>♪ Mmmbop, ba duba dop ♪</i>

1571
01:29:23,947 --> 01:29:26,908
<i>♪ Ba du bop, ba duba dop ♪</i>

1572
01:29:26,909 --> 01:29:29,411
<i>♪ Ba du bop,
ba duba dop ♪</i>

1573
01:29:29,412 --> 01:29:31,913
<i>♪ Ba du, yeah, yeah ♪</i>

1574
01:29:31,914 --> 01:29:32,997
<i>♪ Mmmbop, ba duba dop ♪</i>

1575
01:29:32,998 --> 01:29:35,917
<i>♪ Ba du bop, ba duba dop ♪</i>

1576
01:29:35,918 --> 01:29:38,691
<i>♪ Ba du bop, ba duba dop ♪</i>

1577
01:29:38,692 --> 01:29:41,183
<i>♪ Ba du, yeah, yeah ♪</i>

1578
01:29:41,184 --> 01:29:43,674
<i>♪ Said, oh, yeah ♪</i>

1579
01:29:43,675 --> 01:29:46,470
<i>♪ In an mmmbop they're gone ♪</i>

1580
01:29:46,471 --> 01:29:48,554
<i>♪ Yeah ♪</i>

1581
01:29:48,555 --> 01:29:49,910
<i>♪ Yeah, yeah ♪</i>

1582
01:29:49,911 --> 01:29:51,266
<i>♪ Mmmbop ♪</i>

1583
01:29:52,184 --> 01:29:53,227
<i>♪ Du bop ♪</i>

1584
01:29:54,561 --> 01:29:55,896
<i>♪ Du bop ♪</i>

1585
01:29:56,772 --> 01:29:59,023
<i>♪ Du, yeah, yeah ♪</i>

1586
01:29:59,024 --> 01:30:00,692
<i>♪ Mmmbop
Oh, yeah ♪</i>

1587
01:30:00,693 --> 01:30:02,361
<i>♪ Du bop ♪</i>

1588
01:30:03,612 --> 01:30:05,072
<i>♪ Du bop ♪</i>

1589
01:30:06,031 --> 01:30:08,783
<i>♪ Du, yeah, yeah ♪</i>

1590
01:30:08,784 --> 01:30:10,034
<i>♪ Can you tell me? ♪</i>

1591
01:30:10,035 --> 01:30:13,080
<i>♪ Oh, no, you can't,
'cause you don't know ♪</i>

1592
01:30:13,081 --> 01:30:15,081
<i>♪ Can you tell me? ♪</i>

1593
01:30:15,082 --> 01:30:20,086
<i>♪ You say you can,
but you don't know ♪</i>

1594
01:30:20,087 --> 01:30:25,050
<i>♪ You say you can,
but you don't know ♪</i>

1595
01:32:14,910 --> 01:32:16,994
<i>♪ Come with us ♪</i>

1596
01:32:16,995 --> 01:32:19,038
<i>♪ As we giggle around ♪</i>

1597
01:32:19,039 --> 01:32:22,709
<i>♪ In the McGigglemobile ♪</i>

1598
01:32:25,796 --> 01:32:28,548
<i>♪ Traveling the whole world ♪</i>

1599
01:32:28,549 --> 01:32:33,011
<i>♪ Sharing special memories
with the kiddlywinks ♪</i>

1600
01:32:34,596 --> 01:32:36,389
♪ Kiddlywinks ♪

1601
01:32:36,390 --> 01:32:37,974
<i>Take it away, Teddy.</i>

1602
01:32:37,975 --> 01:32:40,434
<i>♪ There's no use ignoring ♪</i>

1603
01:32:40,435 --> 01:32:43,020
<i>♪ All our giggling
and guffawing ♪</i>

1604
01:32:43,021 --> 01:32:46,984
<i>♪ As we shower
the whole world with fun ♪</i>

1605
01:32:48,026 --> 01:32:52,530
<i>♪ Time and time again,
we will McGiggle with new friends ♪</i>

1606
01:32:52,531 --> 01:32:57,035
<i>♪ Because our giggles
are for everyone ♪</i>

1607
01:32:59,037 --> 01:33:00,997
<i>♪ Come giggle ♪</i>

1608
01:33:00,998 --> 01:33:02,999
<i>♪ I'll giggle with you ♪</i>

1609
01:33:03,000 --> 01:33:04,042
<i>Teddy, that's beautiful!</i>

1610
01:33:04,043 --> 01:33:06,043
<i>♪ Let's giggle ♪</i>

1611
01:33:06,044 --> 01:33:09,046
<i>♪ We'll giggle all together ♪</i>

1612
01:33:09,047 --> 01:33:14,010
<i>♪ I feel giggly
when we sing this song ♪</i>

1613
01:33:14,011 --> 01:33:19,016
<i>♪ Life's so fun
when you giggle along ♪</i>

1614
01:33:19,766 --> 01:33:22,393
<i>♪ Life's so fun ♪</i>

1615
01:33:22,394 --> 01:33:28,400
<i>♪ When you giggle along ♪</i>

1616
01:33:30,485 --> 01:33:32,446
<i>I love you, Teddy.</i>

1617
01:33:33,322 --> 01:33:35,324
<i>Eat shit, Frogsie.</i>