Thread 67: Stories 1-15

https://archive.moe/mlp/thread/22274618/
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Meta-NC

Thanks! Now, where were we.... ah, yes, I remember. FAN SERVICE.

Fifty-Six! *snaps fingers*

>Yes?

Shake your plot at the camera.

>Uh... ooookaaay? I guess?

Good boy.

Your imagination will do the rest. Unless you are Luna. She's watching this happen like a creep from the shadows. Brrr... dream-voyeur alicorn giving me the creeps.

>Shake-a, Shake-a, shake-a, shaaaake!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"???"
'???'
~~~~~

>Zzzzzzz....SNK! HNK! HNNKK....

Fangs shown openly as she yawned, so widely her jaw creaked ever so slightly from the strain. She bent slightly, working the kinks out of her back, letting out little pops all along her spine as it moved back into place. A desk, it turns out, is a poor choice to sleep, but she cared not for a bit of stiffness next to the fact she was here, right where she wanted to be... messing up Shiny's papers.

She rolled off, shaking any loose piece of parchment free and stretching out any strains as she trot down her way, out the very empty office and down the hall, just as she had so many times before.

But this time... was different. This time, something, though she did not know what, had changed. Something had shifted.

She paused mid step, head curling ever so slightly in tune with the flicker of her ears, ears which honed in on a noise... a special noise.

"An' over here we got the fountain! Now I know what yer' thinkin', but ya' ain't allowed ta' swim in it and ya' can't have the bits at the bottom, those're special wishes! Ya' can't steal wishes! What kinda cruel monster would steal wishes!? Ah' ban 'em from ever havin' marchmalleys again!... Yeah! I said it! EVER!"

There she was, dear little Two, dear little tiny Two who had not so very long ago fled from her and her hive in search of a home, of a real family. One she had found, at the cost of her hive.

But... it seemed that had changed.

They were out and about, being shown the Empire by a helpful duo of Two and some yellow crystal mare she did not recognize. The two of them were pointing out landmarks, shops, anything of interest. And her hive followed, ever so dutifully did they follow. Careful not to touch, careful not to break. Weary, uncertain eyes, still clearly unadjusted from the move.

But what made her heart stop, what made her eyes go wide and her mouth run dry was not their eyes, no. Instead, it was the eyes of those who watched them, those who looked upon them as they trot past, those who looked upon them intently and closely.

...And held not a single bit of spite or malice.

No suspicion, no unhidden feelings of disgust, no double checking purses or wallets, no hiding children, nothing of the sort. There was no fear in their eyes as they watched the mob of changelings. Some were uncertain, sure, but none held fear... none held hate.

It tugged gently at her cheek. Little by little, it tugged some more. And more. And more.

At last, she could not fight it, could not keep up the stoic look of the Queen.

She smiled. Not a curled smile of a plan brought to fruition, not the malicious smile of indulging in someone else's pain, not the cavalier smile of one who had brushed off life's worries. No, in this empty hallway, to nobody at all but herself, she felt a wide, genuine smile of happiness, and contentment.

It would not last long, of course. She would hide it away soon enough, she would tuck it deep where no one could see, deep in her heart where she alone could know it. For what is a Queen if she does not keep her appearances? She would hide it away, as she always did, soon.

'Special, isn't it?'

But not soon enough. Not quick enough. Not enough to hide it away from... him.

Him him him. Always him. Always him who found her and stood at her side. Always him.

'I remember the first time I got to look at them, after they shook off Sombra's influence. I just... can't describe it. Seeing them all be happy when they were so dull and lifeless... makes you feel alive, doesn't it? Like... "I did this for them." You just can't get that feeling anywhere else.'

She did not speak. Did not answer in the affirmative or denial.

And it was not needed, she knew. It was always him, and he always knew.

'So... what's next?'

>I'm not sure.

'Well, we'll figure it out. Always do, don't we?'

>...We do.

As her hive moved on, continuing on their little tour and moving from her sight, she lingered. Lingered where they had been, and where they were going. Lingered for just a moment longer...

Then she turned away.

>There is someone I need to go see. Tell Two thanks for showing them around.

'Heh, you know she's happy to do it.'

>I know... but maybe I owe her another bedtime story.

'At last?'

>Haven't been in the mood... that's changed.

'Well, don't hype her up and then don't deliver.'

>...We'll see.

She paused, just before the bend, just before she continued down the path that would take her from his sight.

>...Thanks.

'You don't need to thank me.'

She just turned her head back, and gave him a look. A half-lidded, smirking look, and that was all he needed. That was it.

>Really? Oh, well, too bad, I was planning to offer you a free position of your choice! HAH! You missed out!

That was it before she was back to being Chrysalis.

'Still married.'

>Oh yeah. Do you two give discounts for two-for-ones? I feel like she's earned a bonus too.

'Did you just call me a prostitute?'

>No, I said you were sexy enough you deserved to be paid, but if you want it for free it's certainly on the table!... Just like other things. Hint hint.

'No, Chrysalis.'

>Bah! He gets two mares and suddenly he has no time for me? Betrayal! At least try, for your pride's sake!

'Am I going to have to put up with this all the time now?'

A look.

That's all she gave, a look.

And she swished away, making sure to flick her tail just right the instant before she was out of sight.

'...You did this to yourself, Shiny, nobody to blame now...'

>But you can punish me if you want!

'Go, Chrysalis!'

>HAH!

With that laugh, she all but skipped down the hall.

Yes... things were going better, at last.

At last, she was back, at last. She was finally... back.

...In ways even he did not know...

>HAH!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Screwloose
"High Roller/Snake Eyes"
'12'

The vision of the changeling known as Applejack 12, slowly swam in and out of focus as his mind began to approach consciousness, like a great sea creature coming up for air...a whale, yeah, a whale, that was the one. His ears rang, his eyes burned, he was vaguely aware of the sensation of bouncing...

'Mrph...'

"Oh, he's waking up, finally."

>Fantastic, another five minutes and I would have started strangling you.

'Wheremi?'

"That's classified I'm afraid."

>Oh shut the hell up, we're in a stagecoach, pervert, getting taken to some obscure retreat, I'd wager. Unfortunately they blocked out the windows.

"Just one precaution of many, I would have forced them to let us enjoy the view, but my bargaining chips were out the window when the changeling became part of the cargo."

'Yrrannnasshole...'

"As I've been made aware by your dominatrix many a time."

>Oh a dominatrix, am I?

"Are you disputing this?"

>Yes, a dominatrix usually has a safe word.

'Cn't....laugh...'

"Yes, you've been out quite a while, my friend, you probably need a little time to adjust."

>What did I tell you about handling him with care?

"Something, I'm sure, but I wasn't listening."

'Asshole...'

"Yes, that's been established. Now I warn you Mr. 12, when we get to where we're going, let me do the talking. They'll be less than interested to hear what a changeling has to say, even less so one that's slurring his words."

>They'd better agree to this, Snake Eyes, or you'll still owe me that favor.

"You sound confident we'll still be alive if they don't."

>You sound confident we'll be dead if they don't.

"I'll speak with my employers, as I said, beyond that, no promises. Though if it comes to a fight, I'll gladly take your side, there are a few individuals in this organization I'd love to get rid of before they put a bullet in my skull."

'Whrre...we...going?'

>"Classified."

'Fck...'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Rarity"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and readers coming back find out we're still on Partyland! Now for our main guest...RARITY!!!

"Pleased to be here."

>Guess what, I'm going to get the audience to join in.

"That sounds simply love-"
She blinks and there's suddenly an audience member shows up next to her.
"-ly?"

>Creepy isn't it?
The cardboard raises up a sign that says 'Can you turn Pinkie into an Alicorn?' They both blink and it's gone.

"Uh, I don't think I can."

>That's okay, I already am.

"What?"

Wings and a horn pop out of Pinkie. She slowly floats up surrounded by an aura and speaks in a powerful deep voice
>I AM THE BEGINING AND THE END. THE ALPHA AND OMEGA. THOSE WHO WALK INTO MY KINGDOM WILL BE RELIEVED OF THEIR SUFFERING AND SHALL KNOW TRUE HAPPINESS. THERE THEY WILL PARTY WITHOUT END.

"...what?"

Pinkie quickly plops back in her chair without a horn and wings.
>It means the show is over!
Rarity wakes up.

"I...I don't even know."

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 >77
"88"
'Citrine'
~~~~

>Be careful!

"OW!"

>Be careful I said!

"OW!"

>At least stop walking-

"OW OW OW OW!... WHO'S BRIGHT FUCKING IDEA WAS IT TO TAKE THE BLIND CHANGELING TO A LAND OF SHARP POINTY OBJECTS!?"

'Uh, they ones in the city are actually all smooth, we're just in the sculpture garden.'

"FUCK YOU EVERYTHING IS SHARP!"

'It's artistic!'

"Fuck this, I need to see where I am!"

'...How are you planning on-'

>88 NO!

"EEEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEK!"

'OH DEAR SHINY HEARTS!'

*CRASH!*

"...huh."

>Well, that's unfortunate.

'THE SCULPTURES! OH NO, I'M RESPONSIBLE IF YOU BREAK STUFF! THIS IS COMING OUT OF MY PAYCHECK!'

>Really? How much is it worth?

'Well it was made by an art-major for a school project, so maybe five bits and a hay sandwich.'

>...

'...That's a lot to me! The only ponies who make less money than art majors are philosophy majors, and guess which one I am!'

>I uh... think I can cover that for you.

'OH THANK YOU! I was going to have to survive off crystal berries I found on the ground!'

>No... problem...

"...This place was pretty."

>That it was...

*crunchcrunch*

>...Key word there...

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 >AJ
"Twilight"
'Pinkie'
[Dash]
{FS]
(Rarity)
^Spike^
~Pony~
~~~~~

>NEXT!

~Hey, since we got rid of the changelings, can we work on getting rid of other... not-ponies?~

^... I'm noticing you looking at me, and I wish you to know I am armed.^

~Not you, there's only like one dragon and he works for ponies, this is fine.~

"Wow, not better!"

[Who do you want to get rid of anyway?]

{DASH!}

~Was thinking Zebras.~

'Heeeere we go. Why? Rhyming bothering you? Can't handle someone talking in a way that's actually fun?'

~Nah, the rhyming is cute!~

>Is it the whole 'gonna put a curse on you' cause Ah' gotta ya' tell ya' that ain't actually true. Learned that one the hard way.

~Pfft, everyone knows curses can only be done by unicorns!~

"...So, uh... what's the problem?"

~SHE TOOK MAH JOHB!~

{...What?}

~I WAS PREMIER POTION MAKER BEFORE HER! Comin' along, doin' mah job better for pennies on the bit! SHE TOOK MAH JOOOOOB!~

>...Ya' want me ta' kick her out cause she does yer' job better and cheaper?

~Please?~

>...Get out.

~B-but-~

>NEXT!

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>18
"???"
'???'
~~~

>Ugghh... ugghhhhnngnnn....nghunngghhhhhh...

Paperwork.

So... so... so much paperwork.

So many forms and files and taxes and just everything plopped right in front of her. So much work to be done thanks to the new 'arrivals'.

It wasn't fair. She finally, FINALLY got away from those batch of insane crazy little things and away from having to do all their work, and they follow her across the nations and force it upon her once more! She would never escape them. They would hunt her to the ends of the earth with a form in hoof expecting her to fill it out. This was it. This is what was going to be of her life. The despair was coming back! It was coming back and-

SLAM!

>...Cadence?

Right before her very eyes, right in front of her, she watched Cadence walk over, pick up every single piece of those massive paper stacks, and levitate them off her desk.

"Don't worry, Eighteen! I let them over here, so I'm going to handle the move-in stuff!"

>...You... you...

"I mean, it's only fair, right? You do all the stuff for my guys!... Like literally all of it... but this one's all me! I've got it!"

>...you...

"Don't work too hard!"

With that, she left. She actually left, with every single piece of paperwork in tow.

>...

Pinch.
Nope, still awake.
Boop!
...Still not a dream...
SMACK!
...hrm.
SMACKSMACKSMACKSMACK.
No matter how many times she slapped herself, the papers remained gone.

>...Iguh... ughuh... nuh... un hu nuu....

She could feel it. She could feel her brain melting.

>...Aie guh... nghle...

WHUMP!

Down went her head, and now was sleepy time.

This would all make sense later.

~~~~

WHUMP!

'...Darling, is there a particular reason you just dropped at least eighty odd pounds of papers in front of me.'

"RARITY! Rarity my old girl-pal-friend-other.... hi. How you doing? Doing good? Oh, just carrying it around, thought I'd show it to my friends. Like you! Cause we're friends. Besties."

'...You want me to help you with this?'

"Would you!? Ohhh, thanks! I know you didn't have to do thaaat!"

'Cadence-'

"Now!... What does this even mean?'

'...That's a form for requisitioning temporary licenses, with a little indicator saying it is form number one.'

"Okaayyy?"

'...of eighty seven.... per changeling...'

"Well, we better get started!"

'...There goes my weekend...'

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 >13
~~~~

>...So now I'm in a place with a bunch of shiny, breakable thing, surrounded on all sides by ponies who, for all I know are every bit as breakable and now our whole race depends on not making them mad.

...

>...Why am I here?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~

>...What's this bill for eighteen billion bits?

"It's to put non-flammable, tear resistant, non-toxic, chokeproof, slip proof, weather resistant, extra durable soft padding on the Empire."

>...What parts?

"The. Empire."

>...Why?

"Let's just say necessary precaution... also, we might break our non-damage streak next invasion."

>...

"...Trust me, this is all for the best."

>...Okay...

~~~~Minutes later~~~~

>HOW!?

"It turns out they react badly to a certain isotope."

>WHAT!?

"An isotope that does not exist on this planet, and only exists on another planet in another solar system."

>So what you're saying is, this piece of rock broke off another rock millions of miles away, flew through the cosmos, descended down to earth, and collided with the one city covered in the one substance it reacts violently to at the one point in time when this substance existed.

"Yep."

>...

"...Pretty unlucky."

>This isn't natural.

"Yeah, we should probably look into this."

*BOOM!*

"...Soon."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>007
"???"
'Nurse'
~~~~

Doot.
Doot.
Doot.

...Magical heart monitors had a weird sound. The fact he intimately knew this was disheartening, to say the least.

'Looks like someone's finally come around!'

The light filtering into his eyes was painful. In fact, it was more painful than he remembered, it seemed sharper, brighter, a lot more glare than it should have had.

The more he opened his eyes, the more he noticed a certain, shall we say, sparkle to everything. Everything was shining, and glimmering, and glowing.

...Including the pink mare standing over him, he noticed. And no matter how he looked at it, glittering she remained.

>...Oh fuck, I'm dead and somehow ended up in the pony afterlife, didn't I?

She rolled her eyes pretty annoyingly for someone who might be a heavenly being.

'Like I haven't heard that one a billion times before. Every time with you stallions, I swear... never been hit on by a changeling though, this is new.'

>...

'...Oh, shoot, were you being genuine?'

>Everything is all shiny and heavenly. I am used to stone and clothy.

'Oh my. Well, the short answer is-'

"You're in the Empire."

The voice made the mare in front of him jump, looking back terrified at something he couldn't see. At this point, he found out that he could not, in fact, turn his head in any direction, and was forced to stare straight ahead. Not that he needed to see the owner of the new voice, he knew it by heart, but it would have helped.

"Leave."

The mare nodded, skittering off from his sight. But not gone completely, not yet. He heard her stop, and if he concentrated just a little bit he could just barely make out whispers.

"Thank you."

'O-oh, no problem, it's just my job, your majesty.'

"Still, it's worthy of note. I shall be done shortly, go and fetch the doctor."

'Of course.'

With that, he heard hoofsteps on crystal, and it wasn't long before they faded away.

Like an eclipse over his sight, her face appeared, blocking out the light above his head and looking down upon him with a look every bit as dark as the shadow she cast.

"Seven, we need to have a little talk."

He tensed, attempting to wiggle enough to give her a salute, but just not managing to pull it off.

"Do try to stop moving. You're in a body cast, and you will find it quite impossible."

To prove it, she backed away and pressed a release on his bed, bending him upwards just enough that he could see in a conveniently place mirror that the numbness he felt wasn't because he was reduced to a head on a pillow. A cast covered most of his body, with one of the few places still open being his head. Which allowed him to look upon the... interesting color on the entire side of his face.

"Yes, quite gruesome? But do not fear, you have no brain nor spinal damage. You should, all things considered, but it appeared your body had quite the healing boost. No, where ever did you get such a gluttony of power?"

He shivered at her voice. It was ice cold, razor sharp, and lacking no mockery in the power within it.

"Oh, silly me, getting distracted. Now, what I should actually be asking is.."

She whirled on him, glaring harshly right into his horrified eyes.

"What the fuck were you doing engaging Jetset in the middle of the fucking city!? Do you have any idea how bad it looked that a secret agent of mine was engaging in a fight so intense that the princess herself had to step in? Applejack was out to KILL YOU, you little idiot, and if I hadn't intervened those stupidity filled braincells would currently be in the process of being swept off the streets of Canterlot! She broke my shoulder when she landed, what do you think that would have done to you!?"

He shuddered, a chill racing through him. He wanted to look away and stop the beating of his heart that grew smaller with the knowledge his Queen had saved him... and that she had been injured in the process.


"You had better have a damned good reason for this or I will personally wipe your memory and tell everyone that punch to the head made you think you were a chicken for the rest of your life. Start. Talking."

>I-I f-found-

"Speak clearly!"

Her horn launched a ball of magic into his brain, and suddenly he found the stuttering coming to a stop. The facts just poured out of him, barely of his own choosing.

>I found empirical evidence that gave proof that the changeling known as 29 was feeding and giving ludicrous amounts and extravagantly made contraband to the traitor known as 32, keeping him fed, in prime condition and delivering him luxuries, and there is further evidence this has been going on for months. I... I did what I was supposed to, you majesty! I tracked him down and prepared to... t-to deal with him as soon as possible, to ensure he was given no time of freedom to escape! Once I found out he had been feeding someone out to kill you, I knew there was no time to waste. But... but Jetset stopped me just as I attempted to finish the job.

Her eyes grew cold, and yet also thoughtful.

"Then why did you not simply explain this to Jetset and avoid a battle in the streets!"

>I did! I did your majesty! I told him everything! That Twenty Nine was a traitor, that his actions assisted someone who made an attempt on your life, everything! I said it all to him! But he would not let me near him! Applejack had ordered him to defend Twenty Nine, and he did so with everything he had!

That coldness gave way to shock... and grew even more thoughtful.

"...he knew you were after someone who's crimes were of that nature... and still protected him? Under Applejack's orders?"

>Yes, Majesty. It was nothing but an Infiltrator fight. If I hadn't recharged, he would have killed me.

"...Authorizing lethal force to protect Twenty Nine..."

She moved from his sight, and began to pace. Every so often, she would pass back in his life of vision, and then go away.

"...Interesting. He was the first one she got a hold of, has been away from me the longest, argued with Forty Two over reassignment, and now it turns out he's been feeding Thirty Two this whole time... interesting."

>I... I'm sorry, your majesty, he teleported Twenty Nine to safety before I could get a hold of him.

"Teleported him where?"

>Jetset's range is not on the level of your own, so he would have simply teleported him far enough to run.

"...Aiding his escape, even.."

She paused mid-step and looked back to him, locking eyes with his own.

"And you're sure you told Jetset of the severity of this crime? You didn't mask it?"

>No, Majesty... I did mention this was not an order of yours, however, that this was simply an investigation.

"You conducted your own investigation without telling any of your superiors?"

>N-NO! No majesty! I spoke in code to Forty Two so as not to arouse suspicion, and she gave me the go ahead.

"...Interesting..."

That was all. After that, she went quiet, thoughtful and contemplative. He had a great many burning, needy questions, but he dared not ask them.

"...Speak."

>M-majesty?

"You want to know, speak it."

>...W-why am I in the Empire?'

"...Because this is our new home now."

>Our?

"Yes... all of the hive."

The weight of it all sank in, slowly.

>...We left Canterlot... because of me?

"Yes... yes we did."

With a flourish, she turned her back on him, already making her way to the exit.

>M-Majesty?

She paused, just before reaching the door.

>...I'm sorry I failed you again.

"...Don't be."

She pushed it open, and when she turned her head he could make out just the barest hints of a smile on her face.

"You may have done more for me now than you will ever know. Rest, there will be time for talk, later. Now... I have a bit of planning to do."

Just like that, she was gone, and he was alone.

Alone... and feeling more like a failure than he ever had in his life.

>I'm so sorry, Majesty... I couldn't do it...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Twilight
"Spike"
~~

"Hey... still grumpy?"

>I am not grumpy.

"Twilight, you are pure grumpypuss right now, and I say that with all the love I can muster. You're a grumpasaurus."

>I'm not grumpy! I'm still going to work with her, and I'm not going to stop being her friend... maybe... if she wants to talk to me... ever... which she might not because she probably knows if she gets into an argument with Applejack I'll take her side... her meaning Applejack..

"..."

>...Just thought I'd clarify-

"Got it."

>...I'm not grumpy.

"Awww, you wanna go put Twenty Nine in the tube?"

>NO!

"..."

>Sorry, it's just... that still bugs me. He definitely still hates me. I mean, I learned a LOT about changelings from him, but I think I was a little... uh... invasive.

"You turned Flash half robot."

>I CAN FIX HIM IF I CAN JUST FIND HIM! It won't even be that hard! Three hours, TOPS, and he's back to normal I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!

"You didn't mean to make him a robot?"

>It was just supposed to be augmentations! Building! Not full robot! I just got carried away!

"...Uh-"

>I'M SORRY!

"O-okay, Twi, we're cool, please stop."

>...

"...

>...

"...Uh... been meaning to ask, by the way, does You-Know-Who know you still have her di-"

>NO.

"Oh. Good?"

>Yes, let's keep you-know-who in the dark about that one before she learns I have her you-know-what and punches her way in for it.

"...You have made a lot of very off enemies, I've noticed."

>...

"...And the grump has been doubled, as Luna would say."

>ONE TIME! She did that ONE TIME, why does everyone keep clinging to that!? IT"S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!

"..."

>...Not grumpy...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Pennydrop
"Security Chief"

>Read it again.

Security Chief Sidewinder looked up from the piece of paper he'd already read four times prior.

"Again?"

>I'll give you a five hundred bit bonus

"...just prefacing this, lady, you got issues."

>You want your money or not.

With a sigh, the middle-aged pegasus began reading again.

"The Changelings-aside from a few notable stragglers-have preformed a mass exodus from Canterlot."

>Yes.

"Consequentially, sales of Infusions and Robots have taken a large-scale uptick."

>Yeeeesss~

"Furthermore, the research department has reported that construction and implementation of our solution to the Stalliongrad problem will be done before the month is out."

>Yes!

"Also, despite certain setbacks, your small pink confederate is slowly introducing mechanization into the guard."

>YES!

"And finally Operative Snake Eyes has cleared his final checkpoint and we are due for him to arrive with Doctor Screwloose and hopefully have her create a working changeling infusion."

>YES! YES! YES!

The CEO of Fawntaine Industries beat at the table with her hoof, looking like she was undergoing some kind of lovemaking with an unseen partner. So deep in her celebrations was she, that she didn't notice the security grunt dart in, whisper something in Sidewinder's ear, then dart out.

With a sigh, she slunk back, propping her hindlegs up on the table.

>...it's good to be me.

"Ahem...erm...there's a complication."

>A what?

"Snake Eyes and Screwloose are traveling with a third individual.

>Eh, probably some other loony, nothing to worry about-

"A changeling."

Sidewinder could almost hear the sound of screeching brakes as the smirk fell from Pennydrop's face.

>...

"..."

>...I'm gonna skullfuck that fucking piece of shit dumbass moron son of a-

"Do you want to be alone?"

>No, you will sit here, and you will listen to the many horrible things I will do to Snake Eyes. Now where was I?

"Son of a bitch?"

>Right!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Idris
"Gwen"
~~~~

>AHAHAHAHA!

He had not stopped laughing since receiving his son's letter.

It was honestly beginning to get on the Queen's nerves.

>AHAHAHAHA!

Scratch that. 'Beginning' had long since past.

>AHAHHAHHAHAHAHAH!

"I do not know what you find so funny, he was very delicate to point out that the beast remains in the city."

>I-I JUST... I just... HAHAHAHAH! I can't believe it! One little hit? ONE HIT? That's all it took!? One shot an away she goes? That was so simple! Why didn't anyone just give her a firm strike before!? AHAHAHAHAH!

"Aren't you worried she might come over to our lands?"

>O-oh yes, quite fearful! I have my rolled up newspaper on the nightstand and everything, can't be too careful! AHAHAHH!-OW!

That was quite enough of that.

>Gwen! What is the matter with you!?

"My husband is being an idiot. More so than normal, I should clarify."

>Aren't you happy? The changelings have been run out of Canterlot!

"Yes, and into the Crystal Empire."

>...You're speaking with that tone again. That one that says "I think of you as I do a particularly slow toddler."

"Just for that, I'll bump it up to "A particularly slow teenager."

>...Explain.

"You've been reading our son's notes far closer than I have, you should know better than I do."

>You've still lost me.

"You know what he said with the previous one, about the soldier?"

>That was two letters ago, but alright. She was strong, so?

"She was stronger than either of us... with a hoof-shake. She was not trying, and he says she was stronger than we were. Specifically, she was stronger when she was around..."

>...Huh.

"And now, that cackling, wildly screeching Queen of a changeling who has never backed down in her life, who has defeated Canterlot in the past when they were far stronger in forces, and who now is on good relations with the Empire Royals, both of them, is now in said 'land of love'. The thing she feeds on. The thing they all feed on... and are now there."

>...huh...

"Oh, and one time she absorbed their greatest weapon and became someone who could destroy an entire mechanical army by herself in under an hour with no collateral damage to her own side. And now she has her entire army over there, should she wish to... 'share the wealth' if she does it again."

>....Oh.

"Annnd, the Crystal Empire is running out of space, and would not even have accepted them had this not forced the issue, meaning they now have a lot of imperative and ability to... 'expand'."

>........oh.

"Starting to sink in?"

>....She played those fools in Canterlot pretty soundly, didn't she?

"I will give her quite the nod for swallowing her pride in front of the entire city like that, but a snake will play dead to get close enough for a bite, after all. She has finally managed to worm her way to where she will be most powerful, and those morons are crowing like they've won. Idiots."

>But she's not playing us, right?

"No dear, I have a... solution I am implementing, we need not worry about those bug monsters coming to our door. If they do, they'll find we too can hold our own... surprises."

>Oh? What about our neighbors?

"...We'll see. Perhaps it might be wise to wait to see whom they prefer to 'work with' in the right times."

>Oh?

"Indeed. Space is an issue for everyone, of course. Important to remember that."

>...I love it when you get like this.

"I know."

>Right here, in the throne room, I'm not even joking.

"No, dear. Not till you take down the tapestry that-"

His sword became less sword and more blender in the blink of an eye.

"...Alright then."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Twilight"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and revel in how I get more stories than AJ! Now for our main guest...TWILIGHT!!!

"Here we go again."

>Not exactly. An audience member is going to ask a question.

"But your audience is made of-"
She blinks and there's suddenly an audience member shows up next to her.
"-cardboard!"

>Go on. Do the thing.
The cardboard raises up a sign that says 'Can you engineer a dragon?' They both blink and it's gone.

"Possibly, but I really shou-"

>You heard that right folks. Twilight can make more dragons. We can call her the Mother of Dragons now!

"No, Pinkie. That's not what I sai-"

>That's all the time we have now. Make sure you make a donation her Kickstarter and help fund Twilight's Dragon Project and you too can get a dragon. Ta ta~
Twilight wakes up.
>Guess what, ponies are already donating to the kickstarter!

"PINKIE!!!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >AJ
"Spike"
'???'
[???]
~~~~

>...Somethin' feels off, don't it?

"You mean the changeling thing?"

>No, it's like... the whole dang universe just shifted, jus' a bit.

"The whole universe? Think you're being a little melodramatic."

>No! Ah'm serious! It feels like the cosmos are out o' order! The base o' nature itself done shifted! Somethin' ain't right!

"What could POSSIBLY-"

'NOOOOOO!'

>...
"..."

'NO MORE NO MORE NO MOOOOORREEE!'

[Rarity come back! I need you to fill out the glamor paperwork! If we don't do this, we can't get them all their clothing!]

'NO MORE CLOTHING! I AM SO SICK OF CLOTHING! I HATE IIIIITT!'

[Rarity we have to do the paperwork! I know it's hard, but we've got to do it! It's important!]

'CADENCE GO AWAYYYYYYYY!'

>....

"...."

>....

"...So, uh... world going to end shortly, isn't it?"

>...A-Ah' need some dragon snuggles, Ah' think...

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