Adventures with catnip; part 4

Hi honey, I'm back! ... Honey? I know you're hiding somewhere in here.

You better not pounce on me. I know you want to, I know you're thinking about it, but you *really* don't want to. I was planning on taking you out for sushi tonight and [sing-song] I'm more than happy to rescind that off~er.

Hi there! Hey, are you okay? Your pupils are *huge*.

Buddy? Don't cock your head at me like that, it's... creepy.

Okay, you're actually starting to scare me, could you at least *say* something?

Oh, no. Stop it. You're wiggling your butt; I know exactly what you're going to do. Don't you dare pounce on me, mister. Don't do it.

Thud

Oof, hey, thanks for at least doing it into carpeting this time. Yes, yes, lick my face, cheek rubs, all that stuff. Geez, you're so much more touchy-feely than you usually are, which is saying a lot.

Catnip?! Oh geez, how much did you eat?

ALL OF IT?? Wasn't there like, a serving size recommendation or something? Oh geez, am I going to have to deal with you being like this for the rest of the night?

How long ago did you... 5 minutes. Fantastic. Well, guess we're ordering delivery 'cause there's no way I'm taking you out like... *this*.

Hey, what are you-- You know, holding down my wrists only really helps if you're actually heavy.

Excuse me? Repeat after you, why -- [quietly/scared] okay? [unusually timid] I'm yours.

I'm a good girl...

Oh, piss off. Stop laughing! Of course, I got scared! I've *never* heard your voice get that stern before. I mean, To be fair, you can command attention when you want to, but, you never really want attention do you? At least, not from most people. And you know what, for payback...

*oof/grunt sound* *reverse pounce*

I'm gonna pin *you* down and make *you* say some embarrassing things.

Oh no, don't squirm, you and I both know this is sooo much more natural. Now, *you* are going to have to make up for that little stunt you pulled.

No? Oh, you don't think you need to? Well, that's a shame, cause I think you do. Oh, you're being a brave little rascal today, aren't you? Bold claim thinking there isn't *anything* I can do to convince you. Forgetting things like, me not giving you ear scritchies when we go to bed.

*gasp* Oh yes I would!

*baby talk voice* Ohw, I know! You *need* ear scritchies *every* *single* *day*! You just can't live without them! You need all the headpats, scritches, and rubs to let you know that you're a good boy and you're doing a *great* job. I wouldn't *dare* take those away from you, would I?

Well, guess what sweetheart. *deadly serious* I will.

Now, are you going to repeat after me or are you going to sacrifice your evening's pets?

Oh my gosh, you look so cute with your ears folded down like that! You look *so* guilty, don't you? You know you've been bad, but you were just playing! You were just playing around having fun. And that's okay! But, just like you have to say you're sorry, you have to say some things for me now.

Oh yes, you have to participate; you have to sit here, red in the face and do what I ask, okay?

Now, repeat after me: I love myself.

Yes, really.

I love my girlfriend.

I'm a good boy.

Awh, look at how red you're getting; could barely get out the words you're so embarassed~ That's simply too cute.

Hmm? Oh yes, you wanted to wrestle, didn't you? You wanted it soooo much, you shook your lil' butt at me and ignored my *explicit* request you *not* do that, now look where we are. It's always the same with you, hun. Now, come on; you need to pick out what sushi you want~