Thief of Time - Auditor-proofing

'The attics,' said Susan. 'Hold on... What's that sign for?'

'"Keep left",' Lobsang read. 'Well, if they have to move heavy items around-'

'Look at the sign, will you?' said Susan. 'Don't see what you expect to see, see what's in front of you!'

Lobsang looked.

>> KEEP LEFT >>

'What a stupid sign,' he said.

'Hmm. Interesting, certainly,' said Susan. 'Which way do you think we should go? I don't think it'll take them too long to decide to follow us.'

'We're so close! Any passage might do!' said Lobsang.

'Any passage it is, then.' Susan headed for a narrow gap between packing cases.

Lobsang followed. 'What do you mean, decide?' he said, as they entered the gloom.

'The sign on the stairs said there was no admittance.'

'You mean they'll disobey it?' He stopped.

'Eventually. But they'll have a terrible feeling that they ought not to. They obey rules. They are the rules, in a way.'

'But you can't obey the Keep Left/Right sign, no matter what you do... oh, I see...'

'Isn't learning fun? Oh, and here's another one.'

DO NOT FEED THE ELEPHANT.

'Now that,' said Susan, 'is good. You can't obey it...'

'... because there's no elephant,' said Lobsang. 'I think I'm getting the hang of this...'

'It's an Auditor trap,' said Susan, peering at a packing case.

'Here's another good one,' said Lobsang.

IGNORE THIS SIGN. By order

'Nice touch,' Susan agreed, 'but I'm wondering... who put up the signs?'

There were voices somewhere behind them. They were low, but then one was suddenly raised.

'-says Left but points Right! It has no sense!'

'The fault is yours! We disobeyed the first sign! Woe to them that stray onto the pathway of irregularity!'

'Don't you give me that, you organic thing! I raise my voice at you, you-'

There was a soft sound, a choking noise, and a scream that dopplered into nothing.

'Are they fighting one another?' said Lobsang.

'We can only hope so. Let's move,' said Susan. They crept on, weaving through the maze of spaces between the crates, and past a sign saying:
DUCK

'Ah... now we're getting metaphysical,' said Susan.

'Why duck?' said Lobsang.

'Why indeed?'

Somewhere amongst the cases a voice reached the end of its tether.

'What organic damn elephant? Where is the elephant?'

'There is no elephant!'

'How can there be a sign, then?'

It is a-'

... and once again the little choke, and the vanishing scream. And then... running footsteps.

***

The Thief of Time - p273-275