dear carys

3/31/2020
dear carys

	hi its martin here. i dont know about you but i dont really think our little visit went as we had planned it. I felt the need to write a letter to you to tell you my issues, i guess you could say. im gonna try to keep this formal, so i wont use words like "lol", "lmao", "etc". i hope you can catch my vibe without them. i feel like this way it feels more like real life talking to you.

	i am an over thinker and i mean like really an over thinker. i think you might have already realized this. in my own little bubble of thinking, i came to realize 4 things. please tell me if im wrong about any of them.

1. I am trying harder than you are at keeping this alive. Please dont take that the wrong way. I mean people do what they feel they should do. if you find it hard to start conversation with me or have any problems, and so dont think this is worth what i think it is, that's more than fine. if you're uncomfortable with keeping this alive, then so be it. Im not saying thats how it is, im just saying that i wouldn't judge, and its alright by me.

2. This happened at the worst possible time. sounds awfully pessimistic, i know but i cant help but think that whenever im texting you.. that this couldve been better at literally any other period of time. obviously, i dont want it to end this. If you think that its going to have to, just let me know.

3. this is probably the most important one. i feel like we're taking this too seriously. i feel like if we went with the flow, somewhere between friends and a relationship, that'd be a better place for us, at least for now. the fact that were taking it this seriously is probably what makes us so worried about embarrassing ourselves in front of one another. if we took this even slower than we are now, we'd be set for happiness for now. This is really hard to write without saying "lol", you feel me?

4. this ties into the last one. when we were talking about all of the other friends that we have that have relationships, i came to realize something. the reason they were fine and lasted a while is because they didnt take all this as seriously as we are right now.

	i just wanted to sum this up by saying this:

	if you're comfortable, we could ride the line between friendship and relationship, so we arent just friends, but we arent really dating either. it really sucks that society makes us think that we can only be one or the other, so i propose to you that we try this out. we can still send little heart messages and cute texts, but we don't have to feel as pressured to date. i feel like we could try this at least until this whole virus thing passes over, then we can re-evaluate the relationship as a whole. im really glad that you still went out to see me though.

Ps: im sorry i didnt walk you home

sincerely, martin p♡