Jan's Speech

*Moana song starts playing in background*
It is my turn. As you can tell, I have a big ego and needed a clap before I got up here. What I’m about to say is supposed to be lighthearted, let me be honest, I have no filter whatsoever so please come up at your own risk.
*sighs*
I don’t know why, I love to public speak. This is easy for me (gestures around), but being in a room actually having to talk, that’s hard. I don’t know why that’s hard.
*sighs* So where do I begin? I would say how I met Jaquie, but I kinda don’t want to start there. I’m gonna say what I meant TO her. So if you don’t know I also have some illnesses as well. *sighs* So I go in and out of the hospital, she goes in and out of the hospital. Whenever I was in the hospital, somebody would ask her “Who are you to her?” and she would say, Well I would say first “best friend”. Done. “No, SISTER.” She would always say that. Even when I was at her state, best friend.
We got a call Sunday morning, at 3 in the morning, saying she wasn’t doing so hot. I didn’t believe it, I really didn’t. I was like “She pulls through all the time, how many visits have I done with her? She got this.” UGH. She got this. So we’re driving, we get there, they ask me “Who are you to Jaquie?”. In my head I’m thinking “I’m just a best friend, I’m not really important here. I shouldn’t even be here.” It’s like 4 in the morning now. I just couldn’t leave and so I said “Sister”. Now let me tell you whenever she said sister she had like this smug, arrogant look on her face like she was right and it irritated me. So when I finally said sister, I just pictured her face. The pure arrogance of a smile she would have on and I’m like “Leave me alone, please!”
So I am her best friend, but she would say sister and I’ll be honest, I didn’t know what I was gonna say when I got up here. I was just, I did give somebody a signal if I talk to much he’ll cut (gestures) me off, please. I’m doing good? Thank you. Clearly I prepared myself for this. *sighs* So I did, was gonna do a vlog but my health got in the way of it and I had to take it easy. She would be yelling at me about that. Oh just so you guys know I told them to play this song. It cheers me up so hopefully it cheers you guys up.
*sighs* I feel like just a best friend here, I don’t feel like I have a place to be here. But she would tell me “That’s not true, shut up. Keep doing what you’re doing” OK. So I had a vlog ready for you guys cause I also do vlogs, couldn’t do it, so I’m going to be looking at faces and just remembering things so, let’s start. Ricky’s the first person here, I was gonna say the first time I met you, you I have to say, are the most amazing father. You had a stuffed animal just to take pictures for your daughter. That literally broke my heart, I was like “Whoa, wow.” If you ever need me, I’m here. We’re family. Judd would say that, that’s an inside joke. “We’re FAMILY!” Ok. I got it Judd like I’m putting that in my head. So, I know I have a place to stay when I go over there. I got you.
*sighs* Lauren, if you guys hadn’t noticed, we’re wearing the same outfit, and I have to apologize to my mother she uh, is uh, clean person, so I came up here with no shoes. I could not wear those shoes man, could not wear those shoes. We’re wearing matching dresses because we were her bridal party. Maid of Honor (gestures to herself), Bridesmaid. Sister (gestures to Lauren). UGH. Lauren, I fought for Lauren that day cause Jaquie wanted me to uh, sign for her witness cause she signed, she was my maid of honor. I didn’t think that was a big deal I just thought it was tradition. I would have asked anyone else and she was just screaming. I tried to convince her for you. She was just screaming “NO! YOU’RE GONNA DO IT! I DID IT FOR YOU, YOU’RE DOING IT FOR ME!” I’m like “Ok”. Now, someone,  I need like a lawyer. Since she signed mine am I like, half divorced? Is that how it works? This is honestly how I thought.
Alright next person. Belle Anne. My mom. I love you. To both my mothers out there they are here. I have to say sorry I will not be spending Mother’s Day with you. I’m going to take her out to do our nails, we’re coming to church. It’s gonna be just a ____ day. I think we need that. *sighs* I remember going the first time I met you, I don’t even remember it’s been so much. My best memory is Jaquie’s wedding. We were getting our nails done, I was so happy spending time with you. I was like “ahhh”. And the other day you were so understanding of my illnesses. And I, it moved me. I loved it.
*sighs* Richard, I know you thought you were gonna avoid this, no. Everybody is in danger, I’ll be honest. Like, you have been so there. Concerned for me. I feel like I don’t deserve it. And I love it. And even before, out there he gave me a kiss. If you guys didn’t know, I’m anti-social. So, I was amazed by that. I was like, ok sure why not let’s do this. We got this. Family. Oh I’m gonna be saying that a lot. Family is the key word.
*sigh* Danny, Daniel. Jaquie’s cousin. I call him Danny cause that’s what Jaquie called you. I’m sorry. If you want me to change that let me know. Her family is amazing, her side of the family. Still haven’t gotten to know them, I will talk to them though. Daniel is a physicist. What, that’s mind blowing to me.
Other favorite cousin over here, Isabelle, she’s a director/producer. As if that’s a downgrade. She’s like “I’m a producer” psssh. Still.
Jaquie was a YouTuber and influencer. Had over a thousand followers which equal up to almost 700 videos. *sigh* I dunno what happened honestly they’re popping out kids like, with these amazing jobs, careers, and it’s like mind boggling. I’m so happy I met you guys. Now I can say I know a producer and a physicist. Like, I’ll literally brag that around.
*sighs* Don’t worry other family, I’ll get to know you. I’m talking to you guys. Each and every one. I told one of her cousins I think, I’m giving you eye contact, yeah you, yeah. Told him he had straight teeth. I was like, I’m sorry, I’m brutal, your teeth are FABULOUS. Invisalign. I’ll do that, don’t worry. I got you.
Who else, *sigh* I’m trying to keep this peppy guys. Honestly. And it’s really hard. I’ve had multiple panic attacks. I didn’t know what a panic attack was until I met Jaquie. She knew with me, you had to peel those layers. I thought of an onion, what’s inside the onion? A core? A pit? She was very close to that pit. I’ve never had anybody that close to like, my pit, that didn’t sound right. Sorry guys.
*sigh* Ok, and I met her friends. It killed me that she made. Didn’t really kill me, I was happy that she made other friends. *sigh* Savannah, and uh, I’m like, forgetting names. Sydney. Don’t worry I’ve been telling, reminding everyone else your name, I’m surprised I just forgot. You got me. Am I overtime? Yeah I’m good, ok. She’s helping me out here so. *sigh* Jaquie would have definitely wanted me to meet them. I know she’s screaming at me, SCREAMING, everything she’s saying is more screaming “Be friends with them. You need them.” And it’s so hard to make friends with other people cause if I’m going to get this feeling I just want to close back up. Just don’t want to talk but I can still do this oddly, I don’t know why. Can I get another round of applause, come on guys. *hesitant clapping* My ego is pretty big. Thank you, thank you.
*sigh* Who else? There’s a lot. I’m avoiding people. Ann, oh she’s looked at me like “oh snap”. I said no one was uh, immune to this. She would tell me how much she hated hugging you, it was ridiculous. And I told her “I love Ann’s hugs, please! I will hug her all the time.” And that’s all she’s been giving me. I need a little bit more hugs though, just a little bit. Just a reminder.
Chip, yeah. Oh he knew. He knew, please. *sigh* She would be happy I was getting along with you. She would, it’s just the honest truth. And I am telling her, I like him, I really do like him. *sigh* I still like to call him Mr. Blake. He’s told me to call him Jeffrey). It’s so awkward, I don’t even know why, I’m so, I was raised very proper so… *sigh* You have my heart. I could never replace Jaquie no matter what so ever. But I’m always there for you. And you live 15 minutes away, you have me all the time. I think, if it’s ok with you, I could check on you once a week. I’ll get that final answer.
*sigh* Judd, I don’t want you crying, I don’t know why you’re crying. Stop being a cry baby, please! I’m sorry, that was brutal. I did wanted to read something cause I felt like she would want me to read it. So, let me tell you if these slide shows were going, me and Paul are actually in the background taking them. I didn’t know how many pictures we were taking. You guys remembered their military ball, she asked me to help her pick a dress and I was like “Ok, I got you.” And I look at that picture and I’m like, that was me there. I dunno, there was more outfits I was looking through and I was like, I have memories. But, I will always say, we were always there in the background. *sigh. So let me read what I gotta read, it’s on my phone, give me a minute guys sorry. *gets phone* *sings Moana song* It cheers me up guys, if it doesn’t cheer you up then you’re hollow inside. I have horrible memory, this grief is really hitting me hard. Almost done guys, almost done. Sorry I know, Janice shut up. Here we go, see if I can read it. To Judd, don’t cry please don’t. This is supposed to cheer you up. It is, honestly. To the world you may just be one person, but to me you are the world. You know what? It’s really hard to read this, cause it was DISGUSTING their love. Ugh, I’m sorry, they never fought! Literally, I’m saying it. They never fought, and me and my husband over here are like “How is that possible? They must have secret fights.” No. I remember they did have a fight, it was pretty bad, she was screaming at everybody. That’s not Jaquie, she doesn’t scream, she’s very calm cool collected. And it was for Judd about to be deployed, she unhappy, and I thought this was a good memory ‘cause it’s only cause they’re “fighting”. She was being snappy and he just put her in her place, and I was like “Oh my goodness that was it?” Oh I’m waiting Jaquie to just go back off on him. Nothing. Maybe a minute goes by, and she goes “We’re good, we’re gonna go take a date now.” The date they did was just a walk down a dirt road and she literally turned like this “We’re going on a date now” *impression of Jaquie* I’m not lying about that now, I’m just like that made no sense I could not go walking down no dirt road with my husband but she made it work. She made everything work.
*sigh* It’s crazy how much her memories are my memories. And I feel like every little memory I have is HER that’s how close she got to me and it annoys me. I’m like, ugh, so let me finish. Sorry I gotta get through this. I gotta shut up. So, this is about their deployment. Now, she made these words up by herself. I dunno how she did it. I can’t do it. Whenever I had a homework assignment I just brushed it off on her. We have to be careful with editing cause I don’t want all my classes to fail me because of that. Ok so. This deployment is not going to break us, it is going to make us stronger. As you have said before, it may be tough in the short term but it will be better in the long run. I am so excited to be here for that long run. For this adventure and all that will follow. I will be with you till the ends of the earth and when I cannot follow I will always be faithfully and patiently waiting for you. Waiting for your return. Ugh, I dunno, reading this makes me feel better. What we share is stronger than anything life will throw our way. So long as we face it together. I love you endlessly, yours always Bubb. That makes me feel better, if it doesn’t make anyone else feel better well I dunno what to tell you. I failed at this speech honestly. *sigh. I’m s..Judd’s still crying, dangit I failed. So guys, I got the signal, shut up, so I hope you enjoyed everything. We enjoyed all these flowers, thank you, and I want to thank all her followers for everything they have done. Applause please. *walks off stage*