Hhh

Right then. So, #metoo. As an Asian-American male, we are often seen as small, effeminate, and sometimes even lusted after for how easy it would be to feminize us. Now, there are all types of Asians out there. And even among the various nationalities, there is a wide swath of diverse phenotypes. But there is a general stigma and stereotype associated with Asians, especially males, that we are submissive, subservient, and generally effeminate. So what that I really am small and that I regularly shave smooth what little facial hair I’m capable of growing because I don’t like it? It’s not like that defines me as a person. It’s not like you can just assume that I also shave my legs, even though I do, or that I wear my hair long because it makes me feel pretty and attractive, even though it does. I’ve had many friends, guys and girls, who’ve commented that I’d look great in makeup, or a dress, or that I should try training my voice to be of a higher pitch. I’ve had several men comment that they would pay for a hormone regimen for me. That doesn’t mean that I should start considering any of you as potential suiters trying to court me to be your little trap slave (besides, that would be gay, right?). I once had a good friend tell me, while I was dressed up as a cyberpunk goth girl for Halloween, that he wanted to get me drunk and give me ecstasy “because he wanted to see me loosen up.” I’m still friends with this guy, even though I shut him down as best as I could. And, in his defense, he backed off. Bless him, I still love him as a friend. But I’ll never leave any drinks near him unattended. Just because I’m a casual flirt to some of my vulnerable, depressed, and lonely guy friends doesn’t mean I’m trying to pursue a sexual relationship. Even if I did take their requests for skimpy pictures in flattering girls’ clothes. That doesn’t mean I was taking advantage of and leading them on or anything. Let a girl— I mean Asian guy have a little fun, Jesus. None of this makes me effeminate, or a slut, or an attention whore. None of it gives you permission to treat me like a sexual object, or your personal property. I’m a guy, dammit! I’m just one of the guys when we all hang out, I’m not your pet, and I’m not the butt of your gang bang jokes! But if you pay for my drinks, I’ll sit in your lap.