Advertisement
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- 0
- 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000
- INDOXXI
- Support dengan like & share :)
- 1
- 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,650
- Well, ladies and gentlemen,
- 2
- 00:02:52,688 --> 00:02:54,875
- this is your captain,
- Rusty Griswold.
- 3
- 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,215
- Hope you've enjoyed
- your 18-minute flight
- 4
- 00:02:57,215 --> 00:02:58,711
- from South Bend.
- 5
- 00:02:58,711 --> 00:02:59,977
- We'll be touching down
- 6
- 00:02:59,977 --> 00:03:02,317
- at Chicago's midway
- very shortly.
- 7
- 00:03:02,355 --> 00:03:04,504
- We'd like to thank you
- for flying with us today
- 8
- 00:03:04,504 --> 00:03:06,536
- because at Econo air,
- we're working hard
- 9
- 00:03:06,536 --> 00:03:08,646
- to win back your trust.
- 10
- 00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:11,025
- Harry, you mind takin' over
- while I hit the Lav?
- 11
- 00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:12,905
- Sure thing, Rusty.
- 12
- 00:03:12,905 --> 00:03:14,285
- Thank you very much.
- 13
- 00:03:16,856 --> 00:03:18,160
- Oh, and Rusty.
- 14
- 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,078
- Mm-hmm. I wanna thank you
- 15
- 00:03:20,078 --> 00:03:23,032
- for goin' to bat for me
- last week.
- 16
- 00:03:23,032 --> 00:03:24,873
- I was happy to do it.
- 17
- 00:03:24,873 --> 00:03:26,561
- You know, just 'cause corporate
- says you're too old to fly,
- 18
- 00:03:26,561 --> 00:03:28,210
- it doesn't make it true.
- 19
- 00:03:28,210 --> 00:03:30,397
- If anything, you're more
- qualified than us younger guys.
- 20
- 00:03:30,397 --> 00:03:31,970
- Means a lot to me.
- 21
- 00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:33,082
- Sure thing.
- 22
- 00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:34,578
- - Oh, and Rusty.
- - Mm-hmm.
- 23
- 00:03:34,578 --> 00:03:39,489
- I wanna thank you for goin'
- to bat for me last week.
- 24
- 00:03:39,489 --> 00:03:40,947
- Yeah.
- 25
- 00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:43,555
- You bet.
- 26
- 00:03:44,706 --> 00:03:47,007
- Dad, is that the pilot?
- 27
- 00:03:47,007 --> 00:03:48,350
- It sure is.
- 28
- 00:03:48,350 --> 00:03:50,268
- He just came from the cockpit.
- 29
- 00:03:50,268 --> 00:03:52,531
- Whoa!
- 30
- 00:03:54,411 --> 00:03:56,674
- Hey there, little guy. Hi!
- 31
- 00:03:56,674 --> 00:03:58,017
- Is this your first time
- on a plane?
- 32
- 00:03:58,017 --> 00:03:59,820
- We were planning on driving,
- 33
- 00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:01,546
- but Tyler here
- has been beggin' us
- 34
- 00:04:01,546 --> 00:04:03,004
- to go on his first airplane.
- 35
- 00:04:03,004 --> 00:04:04,730
- Oh, is that right? Uh-huh.
- 36
- 00:04:04,730 --> 00:04:07,377
- Do you think I can be a pilot
- when I grow up?
- 37
- 00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:09,487
- Yeah, well, I don't see why not.
- 38
- 00:04:09,487 --> 00:04:11,175
- You just have to study hard
- 39
- 00:04:11,175 --> 00:04:13,016
- and listen
- to your parents, all right?
- 40
- 00:04:13,016 --> 00:04:14,627
- Whoa! Oh.
- 41
- 00:04:15,586 --> 00:04:16,622
- O-Okay.
- 42
- 00:04:16,622 --> 00:04:17,773
- Sorry about that.
- 43
- 00:04:17,773 --> 00:04:18,770
- Little bit of rough air.
- 44
- 00:04:18,770 --> 00:04:19,767
- It's okay. Right?
- 45
- 00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:21,110
- Yeah. Yeah.
- 46
- 00:04:21,110 --> 00:04:23,105
- Uh, don't, uh,
- don't worry about it.
- 47
- 00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:25,791
- Hey. We call that "turbulence,"
- all right?
- 48
- 00:04:25,791 --> 00:04:27,363
- That's when the plane...
- 49
- 00:04:27,363 --> 00:04:28,514
- Oh!
- 50
- 00:04:33,462 --> 00:04:35,304
- Oh, so sorry.
- 51
- 00:04:35,304 --> 00:04:37,951
- Okay. You folks enjoy
- the rest of your flight.
- 52
- 00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,590
- Let me give you a hand.
- 53
- 00:04:43,590 --> 00:04:47,042
- Can you please
- stay the fuck away from us?!
- 54
- 00:04:50,955 --> 00:04:53,296
- Harry!
- You took us up to 60,000 feet!
- 55
- 00:04:53,296 --> 00:04:54,600
- What're you doing?!
- 56
- 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,058
- Oh, Rusty.
- 57
- 00:04:56,058 --> 00:04:59,624
- I wanna thank you for goin'
- to bat for me last week.
- 58
- 00:05:13,319 --> 00:05:14,892
- Or the time that pan continental
- 59
- 00:05:14,892 --> 00:05:17,309
- put us up
- at the Ritz in Barcelona.
- 60
- 00:05:17,309 --> 00:05:19,649
- You know, I'll tell ya one thing
- about the Spanish women...
- 61
- 00:05:19,649 --> 00:05:21,798
- They, uh, they love them
- some airline pilots.
- 62
- 00:05:21,798 --> 00:05:23,332
- They do!
- 63
- 00:05:23,332 --> 00:05:25,557
- I never took the uniform off
- except when I did.
- 64
- 00:05:36,605 --> 00:05:37,871
- Ladies.
- 65
- 00:05:42,436 --> 00:05:44,353
- All full. You're gonna
- have to wait for the next one.
- 66
- 00:05:44,353 --> 00:05:46,387
- But I was... You were what?
- 67
- 00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:50,070
- I'll catch the next one.
- 68
- 00:05:50,070 --> 00:05:51,489
- See ya around, Econo air.
- 69
- 00:06:08,981 --> 00:06:10,784
- It's the third time this month.
- I know.
- 70
- 00:06:10,784 --> 00:06:12,166
- You have to do something about him.
- I will.
- 71
- 00:06:12,166 --> 00:06:14,122
- He's always picking on me.
- I know he is.
- 72
- 00:06:14,122 --> 00:06:15,963
- I'm so sorry, honey. Hey.
- 73
- 00:06:15,963 --> 00:06:17,382
- Hey. Hi.
- 74
- 00:06:17,382 --> 00:06:18,764
- What's going on here?
- Oh, you'll see.
- 75
- 00:06:18,764 --> 00:06:21,104
- Kevin! Get down here, please.
- 76
- 00:06:21,104 --> 00:06:22,869
- Look what Kevin did
- to my guitar.
- 77
- 00:06:22,869 --> 00:06:24,134
- Aw. Not again.
- 78
- 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,820
- God. You told Mom and Dad?
- 79
- 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,277
- You have such a vagina.
- 80
- 00:06:28,277 --> 00:06:30,195
- Okay, enough. Enough.
- 81
- 00:06:30,195 --> 00:06:31,307
- Now, young man, we talked about
- 82
- 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:32,765
- the bullying
- of your older brother.
- 83
- 00:06:32,765 --> 00:06:34,606
- That's right.
- We don't make fun of someone
- 84
- 00:06:34,606 --> 00:06:35,873
- just 'cause they're a little
- different from us.
- 85
- 00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:38,136
- D... I don't have a vagina!
- 86
- 00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:40,130
- I'm just saying
- that even if you did,
- 87
- 00:06:40,130 --> 00:06:42,701
- it wouldn't be okay for Kevin
- to tease you about your vagina.
- 88
- 00:06:42,701 --> 00:06:45,156
- No! Why are you making it sound
- like I have a vagina?!
- 89
- 00:06:45,156 --> 00:06:48,033
- I know you don't have a vagina.
- I'm not doing that.
- 90
- 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,606
- Kevin, apologize
- to your brother, please.
- 91
- 00:06:49,606 --> 00:06:51,869
- Fine. I'm sorry.
- 92
- 00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:53,135
- Now, go to your room.
- 93
- 00:06:53,135 --> 00:06:55,859
- I was in my fucking room.
- 94
- 00:06:55,859 --> 00:06:58,391
- Whoa. Hey, Kevin?
- Get back down here.
- 95
- 00:07:01,076 --> 00:07:02,687
- Now listen.
- 96
- 00:07:02,687 --> 00:07:05,181
- There are a lot of boys
- who are born with vaginas.
- 97
- 00:07:05,181 --> 00:07:06,561
- It's very hard for them.
- 98
- 00:07:06,561 --> 00:07:07,598
- Honey. Hmm?
- 99
- 00:07:07,598 --> 00:07:08,633
- W-why?
- 100
- 00:07:08,633 --> 00:07:10,014
- It's a teachable Moment, hon.
- 101
- 00:07:10,014 --> 00:07:11,587
- Gender fluidity, right?
- 102
- 00:07:11,587 --> 00:07:12,737
- It's a very serious issue.
- 103
- 00:07:12,737 --> 00:07:14,004
- I'm not gender-fluid.
- 104
- 00:07:14,004 --> 00:07:15,499
- It doesn't matter if you are.
- 105
- 00:07:15,499 --> 00:07:18,070
- The point is,
- your Mom and I would love you
- 106
- 00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:20,295
- even if you were
- completely blank down there.
- 107
- 00:07:20,295 --> 00:07:21,829
- Okay, that's not...
- This is not the point.
- 108
- 00:07:21,829 --> 00:07:24,016
- This... none... Kevin?
- Just go to your room.
- 109
- 00:07:26,087 --> 00:07:28,466
- Hey, James, don't get
- your gender fluid on me.
- 110
- 00:07:28,466 --> 00:07:29,809
- - Awesome.
- - Stop!
- 111
- 00:07:29,809 --> 00:07:30,767
- It's not a fluid!
- 112
- 00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:32,187
- And what about my guitar?
- 113
- 00:07:32,187 --> 00:07:33,875
- It... It's ruined.
- 114
- 00:07:33,875 --> 00:07:35,792
- Let me have a look.
- 115
- 00:07:44,271 --> 00:07:45,766
- Here ya go. That'll do for now.
- 116
- 00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:47,263
- Now get washed up.
- 117
- 00:07:47,263 --> 00:07:48,682
- The Petersons are coming over
- for dinner.
- 118
- 00:07:48,682 --> 00:07:49,795
- Mwah.
- 119
- 00:07:49,795 --> 00:07:50,907
- Okay, baby.
- 120
- 00:07:52,327 --> 00:07:53,707
- Oh, gosh.
- 121
- 00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,817
- I'll get you a new guitar. Okay?
- 122
- 00:07:55,817 --> 00:07:57,658
- Oh, use the vitamix.
- Just grind it up.
- 123
- 00:07:57,658 --> 00:07:59,998
- The dry bit.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 124
- 00:08:00,497 --> 00:08:02,454
- Sheila.
- 125
- 00:08:02,454 --> 00:08:03,490
- So do you have to work tomorrow?
- 126
- 00:08:03,490 --> 00:08:05,139
- So, um, S-Sheila.
- 127
- 00:08:05,139 --> 00:08:06,789
- 'Cause I want to go
- to the movies with my friends.
- 128
- 00:08:06,789 --> 00:08:07,786
- Sheila.
- 129
- 00:08:07,786 --> 00:08:08,860
- What?
- 130
- 00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:10,471
- Do you like school this year?
- 131
- 00:08:10,471 --> 00:08:11,813
- It's okay.
- 132
- 00:08:11,813 --> 00:08:14,538
- "So, do you like school
- this year?"
- 133
- 00:08:14,538 --> 00:08:15,957
- That's seriously
- what you sound like.
- 134
- 00:08:15,957 --> 00:08:17,107
- Just shut up.
- 135
- 00:08:18,872 --> 00:08:20,023
- God, I'm tellin' you, Russ,
- 136
- 00:08:20,023 --> 00:08:21,097
- you've gotta get
- 137
- 00:08:21,097 --> 00:08:22,939
- one of these Go-Kart Kits.
- 138
- 00:08:22,939 --> 00:08:23,974
- What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 139
- 00:08:23,974 --> 00:08:25,317
- Gary and I spent
- 140
- 00:08:25,355 --> 00:08:27,196
- the last two months
- building this thing.
- 141
- 00:08:27,196 --> 00:08:29,805
- We took her out this morning
- for the first time.
- 142
- 00:08:29,805 --> 00:08:32,030
- Holy moly.
- 143
- 00:08:32,030 --> 00:08:33,142
- Fun?
- 144
- 00:08:33,142 --> 00:08:35,137
- No, no, it was terrible.
- 145
- 00:08:35,137 --> 00:08:37,171
- Oh, yeah, it was fun!
- 146
- 00:08:37,171 --> 00:08:38,743
- Hot damn! It's a Go-Kart.
- 147
- 00:08:38,743 --> 00:08:41,160
- G-Man, get over here.
- 148
- 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,347
- G-Man, G-Man, G-Man, G-Man, G-Man.
- Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
- 149
- 00:08:43,347 --> 00:08:44,689
- Oh, my God, my G-Man.
- 150
- 00:08:44,689 --> 00:08:46,031
- I love him.
- 151
- 00:08:46,031 --> 00:08:47,566
- Get in there.
- What? Oh, I didn't...
- 152
- 00:08:47,566 --> 00:08:49,062
- What? What? What?
- 153
- 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,290
- Get in there.
- Get in there. Get in there.
- 154
- 00:08:50,290 --> 00:08:52,591
- Get in there. Blblblblbl!
- 155
- 00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:55,123
- Oh, man! I love you so much.
- 156
- 00:08:55,123 --> 00:08:58,422
- Oh. Oh, tell Mr. Griswold
- how dope our Go-Kart is.
- 157
- 00:08:58,422 --> 00:08:59,995
- It's got a Zanardi chassis
- 158
- 00:08:59,995 --> 00:09:02,488
- and a four-stroke
- Briggs & Stratton engine.
- 159
- 00:09:02,488 --> 00:09:04,906
- Wow. And you guys built this together?
- Yep.
- 160
- 00:09:04,906 --> 00:09:06,708
- We worked on it every day after
- homework and toothbrushin'.
- 161
- 00:09:06,708 --> 00:09:08,703
- I love... get over here.
- Get over here, man.
- 162
- 00:09:08,703 --> 00:09:10,698
- Aah! Aah!
- 163
- 00:09:10,698 --> 00:09:12,156
- Work it, sugar Ray.
- 164
- 00:09:12,156 --> 00:09:13,651
- Come on, sugar Ray.
- Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
- 165
- 00:09:13,651 --> 00:09:14,956
- He's workin' me over.
- 166
- 00:09:16,107 --> 00:09:17,565
- I'm gonna eat your face!
- 167
- 00:09:17,565 --> 00:09:19,175
- Kevin, James, get over here!
- 168
- 00:09:19,175 --> 00:09:21,055
- No.
- 169
- 00:09:21,055 --> 00:09:22,321
- Come on.
- 170
- 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:23,932
- Oh! Oh! There you are!
- 171
- 00:09:23,932 --> 00:09:25,275
- Ow. Ow.
- 172
- 00:09:25,275 --> 00:09:26,656
- Whoa-ho! Dad, stop.
- 173
- 00:09:26,656 --> 00:09:28,191
- Come on, man.
- What are you doing?
- 174
- 00:09:28,191 --> 00:09:29,380
- Come on. We're sparring.
- We do this all the time.
- 175
- 00:09:29,380 --> 00:09:31,068
- - No. We never do this.
- - Come on.
- 176
- 00:09:31,068 --> 00:09:33,178
- Mnh. Ow. Hey!
- Don't... don't hit your old man.
- 177
- 00:09:33,216 --> 00:09:34,252
- I don't wanna be a part of this.
- 178
- 00:09:34,252 --> 00:09:35,364
- Whoa!
- 179
- 00:09:37,896 --> 00:09:39,929
- D... what are you doing?
- Aah! Aah! Aah!
- 180
- 00:09:39,929 --> 00:09:40,926
- This is how accidents happen.
- Sacrifice!
- 181
- 00:09:40,926 --> 00:09:42,461
- Aah! Dad!
- 182
- 00:09:42,461 --> 00:09:44,954
- Let go of me. Stop!
- Why did you do that?
- 183
- 00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:47,525
- I'm sorry, man.
- 184
- 00:09:47,525 --> 00:09:49,251
- Come on.
- I was just foolin' around.
- 185
- 00:09:49,251 --> 00:09:50,861
- That wasn't fun.
- Like we always do.
- 186
- 00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:52,550
- We never do that. Hey.
- 187
- 00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,851
- What do you say you and I build
- a Go-Kart together?
- 188
- 00:09:56,002 --> 00:09:57,345
- If we have to.
- 189
- 00:09:57,345 --> 00:09:58,841
- Yeah! All right!
- 190
- 00:09:58,841 --> 00:10:01,105
- G-Man! Get outta here.
- 191
- 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,447
- Get outta here, G-Man!
- 192
- 00:10:03,789 --> 00:10:06,629
- D-Did you just steal
- my son's nickname?
- 193
- 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,418
- I'm not sure about... Oh, shoot.
- 194
- 00:10:13,418 --> 00:10:14,876
- Oh. Dang it.
- 195
- 00:10:14,876 --> 00:10:16,794
- Wow. Your ring
- is getting loose, there, Deb.
- 196
- 00:10:16,794 --> 00:10:18,366
- Mm. Yeah. Are you losin' weight?
- 197
- 00:10:18,405 --> 00:10:20,554
- Yeah. I am.
- You know what I've been doing?
- 198
- 00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:22,049
- Spinning.
- 199
- 00:10:22,049 --> 00:10:24,236
- Yeah. It's a...
- It's a great stress reliever.
- 200
- 00:10:24,236 --> 00:10:26,883
- Now, I'm gonna tell you what's
- an even greater stress reliever.
- 201
- 00:10:26,883 --> 00:10:28,993
- And that is a week in Paris.
- 202
- 00:10:28,993 --> 00:10:31,678
- Oh, my gosh!
- I saw that on Instagram.
- 203
- 00:10:31,678 --> 00:10:33,251
- All your pictures were so great.
- 204
- 00:10:33,251 --> 00:10:34,747
- Oh, so you did see 'em. Yeah!
- 205
- 00:10:34,747 --> 00:10:36,588
- Well, that's funny
- 'cause I was gonna ask
- 206
- 00:10:36,588 --> 00:10:38,200
- how come you didn't like
- any of 'em.
- 207
- 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,964
- What do you mean?
- I just said I did.
- 208
- 00:10:39,964 --> 00:10:41,383
- Well, no, all my other friends,
- 209
- 00:10:41,383 --> 00:10:43,263
- uh, who saw my Paris pics,
- they clicked "like."
- 210
- 00:10:43,263 --> 00:10:44,912
- You were the only one
- who didn't click "like."
- 211
- 00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,101
- Oh.
- 212
- 00:10:46,140 --> 00:10:47,790
- I guess I just didn't get around
- 213
- 00:10:47,790 --> 00:10:50,053
- to actually
- clicking "like" on them.
- 214
- 00:10:50,053 --> 00:10:51,127
- Okay, 'cause look at this one.
- 215
- 00:10:51,127 --> 00:10:52,508
- Now, in this one,
- 216
- 00:10:52,508 --> 00:10:55,347
- we have Sheila and Gary
- wearin' berets.
- 217
- 00:10:55,347 --> 00:10:56,497
- I know. Right? Bonjour.
- 218
- 00:10:56,497 --> 00:10:57,879
- I know. I like that one so much.
- 219
- 00:10:57,879 --> 00:10:59,068
- It's so cute.
- But you didn't "like" it.
- 220
- 00:10:59,068 --> 00:11:00,602
- Okay.
- 221
- 00:11:00,602 --> 00:11:02,827
- Now, here are the four of us
- at the Arc De Triomphe.
- 222
- 00:11:02,827 --> 00:11:04,783
- Didn't "like" that.
- Didn't "like" my children.
- 223
- 00:11:04,822 --> 00:11:06,663
- Didn't "like" my man
- kissin' on me.
- 224
- 00:11:06,663 --> 00:11:08,773
- I-I-I promise you,
- the second you guys leave,
- 225
- 00:11:08,773 --> 00:11:10,729
- I am gonna go upstairs online,
- 226
- 00:11:10,729 --> 00:11:13,338
- and I am gonna click "like"
- on every single one of them.
- 227
- 00:11:13,338 --> 00:11:14,910
- Honestly, honey,
- it really... I promise.
- 228
- 00:11:14,910 --> 00:11:17,174
- It makes no difference to me.
- 229
- 00:11:18,785 --> 00:11:21,816
- So, are you guys going anywhere
- special this summer?
- 230
- 00:11:21,816 --> 00:11:23,657
- Oh, I wish. Yeah. No.
- 231
- 00:11:23,696 --> 00:11:25,958
- We're... we are renting
- the same cabin
- 232
- 00:11:25,958 --> 00:11:27,340
- that we've been renting
- for 10 years
- 233
- 00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:29,335
- in Cheboygan, Michigan. Wow.
- 234
- 00:11:29,335 --> 00:11:31,828
- The boys call it
- "Che-boring," Michigan.
- 235
- 00:11:32,327 --> 00:11:33,631
- Isn't that funny?
- 236
- 00:11:33,631 --> 00:11:35,127
- Why don't you
- just go someplace else?
- 237
- 00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:37,697
- Oh, no. We can't.
- Rusty loves it so much.
- 238
- 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,807
- I would break his heart
- if I told him that we hate the cabin.
- 239
- 00:11:39,807 --> 00:11:40,920
- Oh, boy. Yeah.
- 240
- 00:11:40,958 --> 00:11:43,988
- I understand. I understand.
- 241
- 00:11:43,988 --> 00:11:46,098
- Yeah. Well, you know
- what the good news is?
- 242
- 00:11:46,098 --> 00:11:47,518
- Hmm?
- 243
- 00:11:47,518 --> 00:11:49,781
- Honestly, even if you go there
- 244
- 00:11:49,781 --> 00:11:51,661
- and you don't have
- a great time, baby,
- 245
- 00:11:51,661 --> 00:11:53,080
- at least you know
- 246
- 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,806
- that I will click "like"
- on all your photos.
- 247
- 00:11:54,806 --> 00:11:56,648
- Oh, Jesus Christ, Nancy.
- 248
- 00:11:56,648 --> 00:11:58,987
- Look! Look!
- 249
- 00:12:00,522 --> 00:12:02,440
- What the fuck is this?
- 250
- 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,013
- - Louie!
- - Yes, sir.
- 251
- 00:12:04,013 --> 00:12:07,197
- Oh, you're back there! Get out!
- 252
- 00:12:15,329 --> 00:12:17,171
- What the fuck is this?!
- 253
- 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:20,201
- Hey, madam. How much capellini
- are you throwing away?
- 254
- 00:12:21,505 --> 00:12:23,615
- What are you doing, Melinda?
- 255
- 00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:27,144
- What are you doing?
- 256
- 00:12:27,144 --> 00:12:29,600
- - You're making me mad!
- - Yes, chef.
- 257
- 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,904
- So fucking mad! Yes, chef.
- 258
- 00:12:30,904 --> 00:12:32,592
- - Joseph!
- - Yes, chef.
- 259
- 00:13:00,672 --> 00:13:02,207
- Guys, I have exciting news.
- 260
- 00:13:02,207 --> 00:13:03,550
- James has aids?!
- 261
- 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,660
- What? No! That's horrible.
- 262
- 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,999
- I'd be excited.
- Well, what is it? What is it?
- 263
- 00:13:07,999 --> 00:13:09,649
- The four of us are gonna take
- a little trip.
- 264
- 00:13:09,649 --> 00:13:10,876
- Paris.
- 265
- 00:13:10,876 --> 00:13:12,909
- Hmm? No. Much better.
- 266
- 00:13:12,909 --> 00:13:16,362
- We're driving to Walley World.
- 267
- 00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:17,321
- What?
- 268
- 00:13:17,321 --> 00:13:18,664
- This family's in a rut.
- 269
- 00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:19,737
- We gotta shake things up. Right?
- 270
- 00:13:19,737 --> 00:13:21,119
- Spend a little quality time.
- 271
- 00:13:21,119 --> 00:13:22,806
- And of course, it wouldn't hurt
- 272
- 00:13:22,806 --> 00:13:24,916
- for the boys to learn
- to get along a little better.
- 273
- 00:13:24,916 --> 00:13:27,525
- Uh, by locking them
- in a car together? Yeah.
- 274
- 00:13:27,525 --> 00:13:29,251
- This is some bullshit
- right here!
- 275
- 00:13:29,251 --> 00:13:30,977
- Hey! Language! Well, it is!
- 276
- 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,317
- I'm gonna miss the first week
- of wrestling practice!
- 277
- 00:13:33,317 --> 00:13:35,619
- We'll find a wrestling range
- along the way.
- 278
- 00:13:35,619 --> 00:13:37,192
- That's not even a thing!
- 279
- 00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:38,611
- And, Dad, no offense,
- 280
- 00:13:38,611 --> 00:13:40,184
- but I just don't wanna do
- my first big road trip
- 281
- 00:13:40,184 --> 00:13:42,218
- to some corporate theme park,
- you know?
- 282
- 00:13:42,218 --> 00:13:44,289
- I'd like to explore
- the real America,
- 283
- 00:13:44,289 --> 00:13:47,703
- like, uh, Jack Kerouac
- or the Merry Pranksters.
- 284
- 00:13:47,703 --> 00:13:48,815
- Ow.
- 285
- 00:13:48,815 --> 00:13:50,772
- Don't say weird shit! Ow!
- 286
- 00:13:50,772 --> 00:13:52,920
- Kevin! Bullying! Guys, come on.
- 287
- 00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:54,378
- My trip to Walley World
- when I was a kid
- 288
- 00:13:54,378 --> 00:13:55,912
- was the best time I ever had.
- 289
- 00:13:55,912 --> 00:14:00,362
- So you just wanna redo
- your vacation from 30 years ago?
- 290
- 00:14:00,362 --> 00:14:02,587
- Don't you think that's gonna be
- kind of a letdown?
- 291
- 00:14:02,587 --> 00:14:04,735
- No, no, no, no.
- We're not redoing anything.
- 292
- 00:14:04,735 --> 00:14:06,538
- This will be
- completely different.
- 293
- 00:14:06,538 --> 00:14:08,725
- For one thing, the original
- vacation had a boy and a girl.
- 294
- 00:14:08,725 --> 00:14:10,605
- This one has two boys.
- 295
- 00:14:10,643 --> 00:14:14,556
- And I'm sure that there will be
- lots of other differences.
- 296
- 00:14:14,556 --> 00:14:16,474
- I've never even heard
- of the original vacation.
- 297
- 00:14:16,474 --> 00:14:17,816
- Doesn't matter.
- 298
- 00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,658
- The new vacation
- will stand on its own.
- 299
- 00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:20,847
- Okay?
- 300
- 00:14:20,847 --> 00:14:22,305
- Come on, honey.
- 301
- 00:14:22,305 --> 00:14:25,680
- What do you say?
- We can drive out and fly back.
- 302
- 00:14:25,719 --> 00:14:27,483
- Oh, what the heck.
- 303
- 00:14:27,483 --> 00:14:30,130
- It couldn't be as bad as that
- stupid cabin, right, honey?
- 304
- 00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:31,703
- That's the spirit. All right.
- 305
- 00:14:31,703 --> 00:14:34,081
- Fuck me.
- 306
- 00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,961
- Are we gonna drive all that way
- in your little car, Dad?
- 307
- 00:14:35,961 --> 00:14:38,186
- Not exactly.
- 308
- 00:14:50,001 --> 00:14:51,996
- - Come on, guys.
- - What?
- 309
- 00:14:52,035 --> 00:14:53,530
- How come you didn't follow me
- just then?
- 310
- 00:14:53,530 --> 00:14:55,679
- Oh. You wanted us to?
- 311
- 00:14:55,679 --> 00:14:57,558
- Yeah. That's why
- I dangled the key like that.
- 312
- 00:14:57,558 --> 00:14:59,630
- Oh, well, I don't...
- Why else would I...?
- 313
- 00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:02,085
- You could have just said,
- "come with me."
- 314
- 00:15:02,699 --> 00:15:04,310
- Look what your Dad rented.
- 315
- 00:15:05,384 --> 00:15:06,458
- What the hell is that?
- 316
- 00:15:06,458 --> 00:15:08,031
- Kevin.
- 317
- 00:15:08,031 --> 00:15:10,524
- That's a 2015 Tartan Prancer.
- 318
- 00:15:10,524 --> 00:15:12,059
- Did you say "Tartan," honey?
- Yeah.
- 319
- 00:15:12,059 --> 00:15:13,517
- Tartan's the Honda of Albania.
- 320
- 00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:15,588
- Why'd you get
- an Albanian car, Dad?
- 321
- 00:15:15,588 --> 00:15:17,928
- Well, it turns out renting a family car
- on Memorial Day weekend
- 322
- 00:15:17,967 --> 00:15:19,271
- doesn't leave you
- with a lot of options.
- 323
- 00:15:19,271 --> 00:15:21,956
- But this baby is pretty sweet.
- 324
- 00:15:21,956 --> 00:15:24,219
- It's got all the latest
- Albanian technology.
- 325
- 00:15:24,219 --> 00:15:25,601
- Plug-in hybrid.
- 326
- 00:15:25,601 --> 00:15:27,710
- Oh, wow. Eco-friendly. Good.
- 327
- 00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:31,162
- So any time we run outta juice,
- we can just pull right over,
- 328
- 00:15:31,201 --> 00:15:32,851
- and... plug in.
- 329
- 00:15:32,851 --> 00:15:34,845
- I don't...
- I don't know what that is.
- 330
- 00:15:34,845 --> 00:15:37,108
- Never seen an outlet for that.
- 331
- 00:15:37,108 --> 00:15:38,528
- Should it retract, or...
- 332
- 00:15:38,528 --> 00:15:39,794
- You would think
- it would retract.
- 333
- 00:15:39,794 --> 00:15:41,443
- It just... Huh.
- 334
- 00:15:41,443 --> 00:15:42,940
- If it just...
- No, it doesn't. It's... Yeah.
- 335
- 00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:43,937
- Cup holder?
- 336
- 00:15:43,937 --> 00:15:45,126
- I think you coil it.
- 337
- 00:15:45,126 --> 00:15:46,584
- I think you just coil it
- like that.
- 338
- 00:15:46,584 --> 00:15:48,464
- Right?
- And then you close it right up.
- 339
- 00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:50,573
- Doesn't matter.
- We've still got two gas tanks.
- 340
- 00:15:50,573 --> 00:15:52,990
- Why two?
- Carry twice as much gas.
- 341
- 00:15:52,990 --> 00:15:55,292
- Why not just have one big tank?
- 342
- 00:15:55,292 --> 00:15:56,750
- It's twice the gas, buddy.
- 343
- 00:15:56,750 --> 00:15:57,900
- Actually the same volume.
- 344
- 00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:59,934
- Two small... Shh.
- 345
- 00:15:59,934 --> 00:16:01,583
- It has six ashtrays.
- 346
- 00:16:01,583 --> 00:16:03,079
- Six. Wow.
- 347
- 00:16:03,079 --> 00:16:06,416
- Hope you guys
- like Smokin'! Right?
- 348
- 00:16:06,416 --> 00:16:07,568
- - Yeah.
- - Yeah.
- 349
- 00:16:07,568 --> 00:16:08,910
- What's with all the mirrors?
- 350
- 00:16:11,327 --> 00:16:12,401
- Safer.
- 351
- 00:16:12,401 --> 00:16:14,319
- But... Oh!
- 352
- 00:16:14,319 --> 00:16:15,623
- And this is amazing.
- 353
- 00:16:15,623 --> 00:16:18,308
- I can control the entire car
- from the fob.
- 354
- 00:16:18,308 --> 00:16:19,920
- What do all the buttons mean?
- 355
- 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,415
- No clue.
- But we'll figure it out.
- 356
- 00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,717
- Honey, is that...
- Is that a swastika on there?
- 357
- 00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:26,441
- Yeah. We won't use that.
- 358
- 00:16:26,441 --> 00:16:27,745
- This is my favorite part.
- 359
- 00:16:30,238 --> 00:16:31,620
- Slam the door on my arm.
- 360
- 00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:33,269
- What? It has a sensor.
- 361
- 00:16:33,269 --> 00:16:35,993
- It won't let you slam the door
- on your arm or leg.
- 362
- 00:16:35,993 --> 00:16:37,412
- Honey, I'm not doing that.
- 363
- 00:16:37,412 --> 00:16:38,985
- The rental guy showed me.
- Just do it.
- 364
- 00:16:38,985 --> 00:16:40,980
- Okay. Do it!
- 365
- 00:16:41,786 --> 00:16:43,474
- Do it. Kinda fun.
- 366
- 00:16:43,474 --> 00:16:45,430
- Slam it. All right.
- 367
- 00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:46,273
- There ya go. Oh!
- 368
- 00:16:46,312 --> 00:16:47,616
- Oh, my God! Oh!
- 369
- 00:16:47,616 --> 00:16:48,767
- Oh, my gosh! Ohh.
- 370
- 00:16:48,767 --> 00:16:50,148
- God damn it! Oh, my God!
- 371
- 00:16:50,148 --> 00:16:51,491
- Why did you have me do that?
- 372
- 00:16:52,334 --> 00:16:54,521
- Ohh.
- 373
- 00:16:54,521 --> 00:16:57,321
- Oh. Oh, I didn't have
- the sensor activated.
- 374
- 00:16:57,321 --> 00:16:58,588
- Okay.
- 375
- 00:16:58,588 --> 00:17:00,314
- I'm an idiot. Do it again.
- 376
- 00:17:00,314 --> 00:17:01,772
- No! Absolutely not.
- 377
- 00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:03,306
- Come on. It'll be fine.
- I just activated it.
- 378
- 00:17:03,306 --> 00:17:04,188
- No, I'm not gonna do it!
- 379
- 00:17:04,188 --> 00:17:05,339
- Don't be chicken.
- 380
- 00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:06,413
- Fine!
- 381
- 00:17:06,413 --> 00:17:08,101
- Aah! Ow! Aah!
- 382
- 00:17:08,101 --> 00:17:09,942
- Shit!
- 383
- 00:17:09,942 --> 00:17:10,940
- Why did you do that?
- 384
- 00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:12,398
- Really?
- 385
- 00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:13,932
- You're right. I'm sorry.
- 386
- 00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:16,119
- Ohh. Nobody slam their arm
- in the door, okay?
- 387
- 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,037
- Can I slam it on James' balls?
- 388
- 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,261
- So you admit I have balls?
- Yeah, they hang outta your vagina.
- 389
- 00:17:20,261 --> 00:17:22,141
- Okay, you two stop that. Guys, come on.
- There's plenty of time for that.
- 390
- 00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:23,331
- Please. Go on and get packed.
- 391
- 00:17:23,331 --> 00:17:24,328
- We're hittin' the road today.
- 392
- 00:17:24,328 --> 00:17:25,593
- Okay.
- 393
- 00:17:25,593 --> 00:17:26,975
- Guess we're leaving today. Phew!
- 394
- 00:17:26,975 --> 00:17:28,777
- All right. Let's go, guys.
- 395
- 00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:34,992
- Ah.
- 396
- 00:17:41,705 --> 00:17:43,623
- Hey, honey. What's all that?
- 397
- 00:17:43,623 --> 00:17:46,116
- Well, this is my dream journal,
- 398
- 00:17:46,116 --> 00:17:48,956
- whimsy log, wish diary,
- 399
- 00:17:48,994 --> 00:17:50,183
- my poems.
- 400
- 00:17:50,221 --> 00:17:52,561
- And this bad boy is going to be
- 401
- 00:17:52,561 --> 00:17:55,362
- a stream of consciousness
- travel log, so...
- 402
- 00:17:55,362 --> 00:17:57,549
- Yeah.
- 403
- 00:17:57,549 --> 00:17:59,811
- Come on, honey,
- every boy that age
- 404
- 00:17:59,811 --> 00:18:01,576
- has a stack of diaries.
- 405
- 00:18:01,576 --> 00:18:03,034
- Okay, gang.
- 406
- 00:18:04,031 --> 00:18:06,678
- Seat belts on!
- 407
- 00:18:06,678 --> 00:18:07,982
- Two full tanks of gas!
- 408
- 00:18:07,982 --> 00:18:09,479
- Honey, GPS check?
- 409
- 00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:10,974
- Yes. Yes. Roger that.
- 410
- 00:18:10,974 --> 00:18:12,816
- Okay.
- 411
- 00:18:12,816 --> 00:18:16,038
- Your destination
- is 2,560 miles ahead.
- 412
- 00:18:16,038 --> 00:18:18,724
- Walley world, here we come.
- 413
- 00:18:48,645 --> 00:18:50,448
- Well, we're almost out of gas.
- 414
- 00:18:50,448 --> 00:18:52,789
- What? How is that possible?
- 415
- 00:18:52,789 --> 00:18:54,476
- We've been driving
- for less than an hour.
- 416
- 00:19:06,176 --> 00:19:08,401
- Hey, Dad, what's so special
- about Walley World?
- 417
- 00:19:08,401 --> 00:19:10,741
- I mean, we have plenty
- of theme parks at home.
- 418
- 00:19:10,780 --> 00:19:12,966
- Well, walley world is home
- 419
- 00:19:12,966 --> 00:19:16,380
- of the one and only
- Velociraptor.
- 420
- 00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:18,375
- What the hell is that?
- 421
- 00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:20,409
- It's only the newest,
- scariest roller coaster
- 422
- 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:21,598
- in the country.
- 423
- 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:25,587
- 450 feet tall,
- 110 miles an hour,
- 424
- 00:19:25,587 --> 00:19:28,042
- triple corkscrew loop.
- 425
- 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,114
- Yeah. Oh, hey! Look at this!
- 426
- 00:19:30,114 --> 00:19:32,914
- Looks like we got ourselves
- a little old convoy.
- 427
- 00:19:32,914 --> 00:19:34,448
- Let's say "Hi."
- 428
- 00:19:35,791 --> 00:19:37,863
- Oh, my goodness.
- It has a CD Radio in it?
- 429
- 00:19:37,901 --> 00:19:39,359
- Yeah.
- Comes standard in all prancers.
- 430
- 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:41,699
- This way we can talk to truckers.
- Okay.
- 431
- 00:19:41,699 --> 00:19:44,346
- Now, guys, you just have
- to speak their lingo.
- 432
- 00:19:44,346 --> 00:19:46,877
- All right, I'm gonna ask him
- if there's any police up ahead.
- 433
- 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,370
- Breaker 1-9 to rubber ducky.
- 434
- 00:19:49,370 --> 00:19:52,017
- You got any smokey the bears
- in your kitchen? Over.
- 435
- 00:19:53,552 --> 00:19:55,087
- You're clean and green
- for the next 20 klicks.
- 436
- 00:19:55,087 --> 00:19:57,311
- He replied! I know!
- 437
- 00:19:57,311 --> 00:19:58,808
- What did that even mean?
- 438
- 00:19:58,808 --> 00:20:00,803
- I have no idea, but who cares?
- 439
- 00:20:00,803 --> 00:20:01,992
- He seems nice.
- 440
- 00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,025
- He does seem nice, doesn't he?
- 441
- 00:20:04,025 --> 00:20:05,942
- Copy that, good buddy. Over.
- 442
- 00:20:05,942 --> 00:20:07,055
- Oh, can I try, Dad?
- 443
- 00:20:07,055 --> 00:20:08,321
- Yeah, course.
- 444
- 00:20:08,321 --> 00:20:10,201
- When you finish talking,
- say "over."
- 445
- 00:20:10,201 --> 00:20:11,812
- Okay. Cool. Okay.
- 446
- 00:20:11,812 --> 00:20:13,615
- Breaker 1-9,
- 447
- 00:20:13,615 --> 00:20:16,262
- my friend Jessie says
- all truck drivers are rapists.
- 448
- 00:20:16,262 --> 00:20:17,566
- Are you a rapist? Kevin, no!
- 449
- 00:20:17,566 --> 00:20:18,870
- No! Oh. Sorry.
- 450
- 00:20:18,870 --> 00:20:20,405
- Over. No! No.
- 451
- 00:20:20,405 --> 00:20:21,901
- What are you doing?
- 452
- 00:20:21,901 --> 00:20:24,855
- What? It's a question.
- You're ruining it.
- 453
- 00:20:25,776 --> 00:20:28,269
- Sorry about that there,
- good buddy.
- 454
- 00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,918
- You know how little boys are
- when their mouths get goin'.
- 455
- 00:20:29,918 --> 00:20:34,215
- I don't...
- Not to imply that you are...
- 456
- 00:20:34,215 --> 00:20:38,741
- Fond of when little boys' mouths
- get goin' in any way.
- 457
- 00:20:38,741 --> 00:20:40,391
- I-I'm not suggesting
- 458
- 00:20:40,391 --> 00:20:42,770
- that you are a sex offender
- or a pedophile.
- 459
- 00:20:42,770 --> 00:20:44,380
- Okay, no! Yeah.
- 460
- 00:20:44,380 --> 00:20:46,375
- So that's the CD Radio, guys.
- 461
- 00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:48,370
- Neat, huh?
- 462
- 00:20:48,409 --> 00:20:49,521
- Hey, Dad, what's a pedophile?
- 463
- 00:20:49,521 --> 00:20:51,132
- Mm, well, Kevin,
- 464
- 00:20:51,132 --> 00:20:53,511
- when a man and a boy love
- each other very mu... No.
- 465
- 00:20:53,511 --> 00:20:55,428
- No.
- 466
- 00:20:57,692 --> 00:21:00,032
- I have to piss. Me, too.
- 467
- 00:21:00,032 --> 00:21:01,950
- Okay, go with him, please,
- and keep an eye on him.
- 468
- 00:21:01,950 --> 00:21:03,829
- Okay. Thank you.
- 469
- 00:21:05,786 --> 00:21:08,049
- Look at that.
- The boys are bonding already.
- 470
- 00:21:08,088 --> 00:21:09,277
- Mm-hmm.
- 471
- 00:21:09,277 --> 00:21:10,581
- Isn't this the best?
- 472
- 00:21:10,581 --> 00:21:12,537
- Yeah.
- 473
- 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,568
- Do you remember,
- 474
- 00:21:15,568 --> 00:21:17,716
- back when you were just getting
- your pilot's license
- 475
- 00:21:17,716 --> 00:21:19,711
- and you and I would sit there
- 476
- 00:21:19,711 --> 00:21:21,360
- and we'd talk
- about all those, like,
- 477
- 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:24,315
- overseas trips we would take and stuff?
- Oh.
- 478
- 00:21:24,315 --> 00:21:26,041
- Yeah, of course,
- that's when I thought
- 479
- 00:21:26,041 --> 00:21:28,726
- I was gonna fly
- for one of the big guys.
- 480
- 00:21:28,726 --> 00:21:30,452
- I know it's not
- the most glamorous airline,
- 481
- 00:21:30,452 --> 00:21:33,253
- but Econo air,
- it's been pretty good to us.
- 482
- 00:21:33,253 --> 00:21:34,403
- As far as I'm concerned,
- 483
- 00:21:34,403 --> 00:21:35,900
- right here
- with you and the boys,
- 484
- 00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:38,125
- this is paradise.
- 485
- 00:21:40,656 --> 00:21:42,459
- There was a hole
- in the side of my stall.
- 486
- 00:21:42,459 --> 00:21:43,955
- Sounds like you found
- yourself a glory hole. Russ?
- 487
- 00:21:43,955 --> 00:21:45,298
- Hmm? No.
- 488
- 00:21:45,298 --> 00:21:47,369
- All right. Let's hit the road.
- Okay.
- 489
- 00:22:28,454 --> 00:22:30,640
- Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
- 490
- 00:22:42,877 --> 00:22:44,911
- What... What's wrong with you?!
- 491
- 00:22:44,911 --> 00:22:47,136
- I just wanted to see how long
- you could hold your breath
- 492
- 00:22:47,136 --> 00:22:48,479
- before you black out.
- 493
- 00:22:48,479 --> 00:22:50,857
- Don't do that!
- I could have died.
- 494
- 00:22:50,857 --> 00:22:52,506
- Whatever.
- 495
- 00:22:57,110 --> 00:22:59,258
- Goddamn it. Kevin!
- 496
- 00:23:12,799 --> 00:23:14,411
- Hey, honey,
- why'd we get off the highway?
- 497
- 00:23:14,411 --> 00:23:15,984
- Well, I thought it would be fun
- 498
- 00:23:15,984 --> 00:23:17,556
- for the kids to see
- where you went to college.
- 499
- 00:23:17,556 --> 00:23:20,893
- Oh, God. Why would that
- be fun for them, honey?
- 500
- 00:23:20,893 --> 00:23:22,351
- Well, you could give us a tour.
- 501
- 00:23:22,351 --> 00:23:24,001
- Maybe one of them
- could study there one day.
- 502
- 00:23:24,001 --> 00:23:26,417
- Oh, no. No way, man.
- 503
- 00:23:26,417 --> 00:23:27,722
- I've got my sights set
- 504
- 00:23:27,722 --> 00:23:29,141
- on something
- a little more Ivy league.
- 505
- 00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:30,331
- Oh.
- 506
- 00:23:30,331 --> 00:23:31,674
- Little fucker.
- 507
- 00:23:31,674 --> 00:23:33,323
- What, Ma? I love you.
- 508
- 00:23:33,323 --> 00:23:34,742
- That's what I said.
- 509
- 00:23:34,742 --> 00:23:36,200
- Love you, too.
- I said I love you.
- 510
- 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,156
- Let's just see how far it is.
- 511
- 00:23:38,156 --> 00:23:40,573
- You are 9.2 miles
- from your destination.
- 512
- 00:23:40,573 --> 00:23:41,570
- Oh. All right.
- 513
- 00:23:41,570 --> 00:23:43,718
- Check the best route.
- 514
- 00:23:45,061 --> 00:23:47,286
- Oh! I changed the language.
- 515
- 00:23:50,163 --> 00:23:51,467
- That's not it.
- 516
- 00:23:52,925 --> 00:23:54,037
- What is that?
- 517
- 00:23:54,037 --> 00:23:56,416
- Uh, I don't know. I... Korean?
- 518
- 00:23:57,490 --> 00:23:58,718
- Oh, God, it's horrible! Oh.
- 519
- 00:23:58,718 --> 00:24:00,520
- Just please turn it off, Russ.
- 520
- 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,208
- The menu's all in Korean now.
- I don't know what to press.
- 521
- 00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:04,433
- Why is it so much angrier
- than the other voices?
- 522
- 00:24:04,433 --> 00:24:06,390
- Why don't we just...
- Honey, it doesn't...
- 523
- 00:24:06,390 --> 00:24:08,193
- It like when you touch it, okay?
- 524
- 00:24:08,193 --> 00:24:10,994
- Just leave it alone.
- Let it calm down.
- 525
- 00:24:22,156 --> 00:24:25,954
- Wow. This place
- has not changed a bit.
- 526
- 00:24:25,954 --> 00:24:27,565
- Isn't that Sorority Row?
- 527
- 00:24:27,565 --> 00:24:28,831
- Mm-hmm.
- 528
- 00:24:28,831 --> 00:24:30,174
- Let's go check out your house.
- 529
- 00:24:30,174 --> 00:24:31,938
- Oh, no, honey.
- 530
- 00:24:31,938 --> 00:24:33,588
- Don't you... don't you think
- we should get back on the road?
- 531
- 00:24:33,588 --> 00:24:35,851
- No, come on. It'll be fun.
- 532
- 00:24:35,851 --> 00:24:38,191
- It's... It's just a boring,
- old house.
- 533
- 00:24:55,454 --> 00:24:57,525
- Go! Go! Go! Go!
- 534
- 00:24:57,525 --> 00:24:59,137
- Yeah! That's what's up!
- 535
- 00:24:59,137 --> 00:25:02,129
- I cannot believe that
- they are still doing this.
- 536
- 00:25:02,129 --> 00:25:03,970
- Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug
- 537
- 00:25:03,970 --> 00:25:05,120
- what is it?
- 538
- 00:25:05,159 --> 00:25:08,496
- Uh, it is the Tri-Pi Chug run.
- 539
- 00:25:08,496 --> 00:25:10,952
- You have to chug
- a big pitcher of beer
- 540
- 00:25:10,952 --> 00:25:13,406
- and then you have to get through
- the course as fast as you can.
- 541
- 00:25:13,406 --> 00:25:16,552
- And you did this?
- 'Cause you hardly drink.
- 542
- 00:25:16,552 --> 00:25:17,818
- No. Yeah.
- 543
- 00:25:17,818 --> 00:25:19,775
- But, honey, it's for charity.
- See?
- 544
- 00:25:21,654 --> 00:25:24,416
- Hi. Would you like to donate
- to assburgers?
- 545
- 00:25:24,454 --> 00:25:26,449
- Oh, no. We're just stopping by.
- 546
- 00:25:26,449 --> 00:25:28,713
- I was a Tri-Pi
- a long time ago, so...
- 547
- 00:25:28,713 --> 00:25:31,436
- In fact,
- the Chug run was my idea.
- 548
- 00:25:31,436 --> 00:25:32,818
- It was?
- 549
- 00:25:32,818 --> 00:25:34,582
- Yeah.
- 550
- 00:25:34,582 --> 00:25:36,078
- Wait. Are you Debbie Fletcher?
- 551
- 00:25:36,078 --> 00:25:37,114
- Yeah.
- 552
- 00:25:37,114 --> 00:25:38,840
- Oh, my shit.
- 553
- 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,065
- Oh, my shit!
- I can't believe it's you!
- 554
- 00:25:41,065 --> 00:25:43,481
- Guys! Come here!
- Bring over the book!
- 555
- 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,668
- It's Debbie fucking Fletcher.
- 556
- 00:25:45,668 --> 00:25:47,970
- - How do you know who I am?
- - Oh, my God, are you kidding me?
- 557
- 00:25:47,970 --> 00:25:49,926
- You're like a legend at Tri-Pi!
- 558
- 00:25:49,926 --> 00:25:51,614
- You're Debbie do-anything!
- 559
- 00:25:51,614 --> 00:25:52,765
- Uh, Debbie do-anything?
- 560
- 00:25:52,765 --> 00:25:53,839
- Go play.
- 561
- 00:25:53,839 --> 00:25:55,949
- Yeah, look! See?
- 562
- 00:25:55,949 --> 00:25:57,944
- Huh? Oh, God.
- 563
- 00:25:57,944 --> 00:25:59,977
- Is it true that you climbed
- the clock tower naked?
- 564
- 00:26:00,015 --> 00:26:01,627
- Of course not.
- 565
- 00:26:01,627 --> 00:26:03,468
- Did you really show your tits
- to anyone who asked?
- 566
- 00:26:03,468 --> 00:26:05,808
- - Honey, we should go.
- - Wha... Wha... hang... hang on.
- 567
- 00:26:05,808 --> 00:26:07,803
- I heard that you stuck a finger
- in the Dean's dick.
- 568
- 00:26:07,841 --> 00:26:09,836
- Did you really burn down
- the taco bell?
- 569
- 00:26:09,836 --> 00:26:11,638
- I heard that you fucked
- Anthony Hopkins.
- 570
- 00:26:11,638 --> 00:26:14,017
- I heard that,
- if people bop you on your head,
- 571
- 00:26:14,017 --> 00:26:16,127
- gold coins
- come out of your butt.
- 572
- 00:26:16,127 --> 00:26:18,045
- Okay, ladies. Uh... What?!
- 573
- 00:26:19,157 --> 00:26:20,845
- I think I know my wife
- pretty well,
- 574
- 00:26:20,845 --> 00:26:22,955
- and she wouldn't have done
- any of those things.
- 575
- 00:26:22,955 --> 00:26:24,451
- But you know what?
- 576
- 00:26:24,451 --> 00:26:26,216
- What's important is
- not whether I did them
- 577
- 00:26:26,216 --> 00:26:27,328
- or I didn't do them.
- 578
- 00:26:27,328 --> 00:26:28,978
- What's important is
- 579
- 00:26:28,978 --> 00:26:31,049
- that you guys are idolizing
- very bad behavior here.
- 580
- 00:26:31,049 --> 00:26:32,430
- Uh, Ew.
- 581
- 00:26:32,430 --> 00:26:33,888
- You don't sound like
- Debbie do-anything.
- 582
- 00:26:33,888 --> 00:26:35,499
- I had a feeling
- she was all hype.
- 583
- 00:26:35,499 --> 00:26:37,916
- Bet she didn't even come up
- with the Chug run.
- 584
- 00:26:37,916 --> 00:26:39,604
- Hey! Wait a min... Excuse me.
- 585
- 00:26:39,604 --> 00:26:43,018
- I did come up with the Chug run,
- all right?
- 586
- 00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:44,246
- And I ran it.
- 587
- 00:26:44,246 --> 00:26:45,626
- Sure you did. No, I did.
- 588
- 00:26:45,626 --> 00:26:47,583
- In 16 seconds, okay? Okay, hon.
- 589
- 00:26:47,583 --> 00:26:49,002
- Prove it.
- 590
- 00:26:49,002 --> 00:26:50,728
- She can't do it now. She's old.
- 591
- 00:26:50,728 --> 00:26:51,956
- Excuse me, girl?
- 592
- 00:26:51,956 --> 00:26:53,414
- I didn't mean it like that.
- 593
- 00:26:53,414 --> 00:26:55,677
- I just mean... You're old.
- 594
- 00:26:57,019 --> 00:27:00,396
- Oh, oh, yeah!
- 595
- 00:27:00,396 --> 00:27:03,080
- Never heard that laugh before.
- I don't like it.
- 596
- 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,270
- Hold my bag. Unh-Unh.
- 597
- 00:27:04,270 --> 00:27:06,265
- Why? I'm not... You're not...
- 598
- 00:27:06,265 --> 00:27:07,761
- You're not actually going on this thing.
- Yes, I am.
- 599
- 00:27:07,761 --> 00:27:09,487
- This Chug run raised
- 600
- 00:27:09,525 --> 00:27:11,520
- thousands of dollars
- for charity, all right?
- 601
- 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,937
- Now, I might not have gotten
- good grades while I was here.
- 602
- 00:27:13,937 --> 00:27:16,431
- But at least I did something.
- Yeah, it sounds like you did a lot.
- 603
- 00:27:16,431 --> 00:27:17,658
- You stuck your finger
- in the Dean's penis.
- 604
- 00:27:17,658 --> 00:27:19,500
- You know, honey,
- it's not important
- 605
- 00:27:19,500 --> 00:27:20,535
- what I stuck my finger in and
- what I burnt down, all right?
- 606
- 00:27:20,535 --> 00:27:22,146
- What is important right now
- 607
- 00:27:22,146 --> 00:27:23,796
- is that these Fuckin' bitches
- are disrespecting me,
- 608
- 00:27:23,796 --> 00:27:25,828
- and that ain't right, okay?
- "Bitches"?
- 609
- 00:27:26,749 --> 00:27:28,169
- Bring it on.
- 610
- 00:27:29,588 --> 00:27:31,928
- No one's calling me old.
- Fuck you.
- 611
- 00:27:31,928 --> 00:27:33,194
- All right, boobs, pitcher!
- Let's go.
- 612
- 00:27:33,194 --> 00:27:34,844
- Come on, come on, come on.
- 613
- 00:27:40,368 --> 00:27:43,245
- Tri-Pi, motherfuckers!
- 614
- 00:27:57,860 --> 00:27:59,855
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- 615
- 00:28:08,563 --> 00:28:11,018
- Three! Two! One!
- 616
- 00:28:17,731 --> 00:28:19,419
- Oh, honey.
- 617
- 00:28:32,731 --> 00:28:34,188
- What's Mom doing?
- 618
- 00:28:34,188 --> 00:28:37,065
- She's, uh, teaching
- these bitches a-a lesson.
- 619
- 00:28:48,228 --> 00:28:51,413
- This is the best thing
- I've ever seen.
- 620
- 00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:57,051
- Go! Go! Go!
- 621
- 00:29:00,542 --> 00:29:03,572
- Why is she puking so much?
- 622
- 00:29:03,572 --> 00:29:05,376
- It's for assburgers.
- 623
- 00:29:18,572 --> 00:29:21,565
- Tri-Pi, motherfuckers!
- 624
- 00:29:34,415 --> 00:29:36,909
- Mom, you should try
- and stay hydrated.
- 625
- 00:29:38,289 --> 00:29:41,167
- What? What are you doing?
- 626
- 00:29:43,277 --> 00:29:44,696
- How 'bout some tunes?
- 627
- 00:29:47,803 --> 00:29:49,874
- Oh, my God. I can't believe it.
- 628
- 00:29:49,874 --> 00:29:51,831
- I love this song!
- 629
- 00:29:51,831 --> 00:29:54,708
- Guys, it's seal!
- 630
- 00:29:54,708 --> 00:29:57,432
- Everybody sing it with me.
- 631
- 00:30:02,879 --> 00:30:04,030
- Come on, guys.
- 632
- 00:30:09,708 --> 00:30:10,781
- Deb?
- 633
- 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:17,111
- Guys? No?
- 634
- 00:30:21,791 --> 00:30:23,901
- Is this a man
- or a woman singing?
- 635
- 00:30:26,164 --> 00:30:28,696
- And the coolest man ever!
- He overcame lupus!
- 636
- 00:30:39,667 --> 00:30:41,279
- "Batman forever"?
- 637
- 00:30:53,170 --> 00:30:54,552
- He's come back to kill us.
- 638
- 00:30:56,623 --> 00:30:58,618
- Gun it, Russ! Gunning it!
- 639
- 00:31:01,265 --> 00:31:03,643
- You gotta go faster, Dad!
- Go faster!
- 640
- 00:31:03,643 --> 00:31:04,832
- The Prancer doesn't go
- any faster!
- 641
- 00:31:04,832 --> 00:31:06,405
- Okay, well,
- what are we gonna do?!
- 642
- 00:31:06,405 --> 00:31:08,169
- Let me see... maybe if I press
- this rabbit button,
- 643
- 00:31:08,169 --> 00:31:09,090
- it'll, like, give it
- a boost or something.
- 644
- 00:31:09,090 --> 00:31:10,203
- Yes. Try it!
- 645
- 00:31:13,962 --> 00:31:15,650
- Why would there be a button
- for that?
- 646
- 00:31:15,650 --> 00:31:16,648
- And why is it a rabbit?!
- 647
- 00:31:16,648 --> 00:31:18,450
- Okay. Um... Rocket!
- 648
- 00:31:18,450 --> 00:31:20,023
- Rocket. Here you go. Try that!
- Yes.
- 649
- 00:31:20,023 --> 00:31:21,864
- - What?
- - What?
- 650
- 00:31:21,864 --> 00:31:22,861
- - What's happening?
- - Why am I swiveling? I'm swiveling!
- 651
- 00:31:22,861 --> 00:31:24,128
- I don't know! I don't know!
- 652
- 00:31:24,128 --> 00:31:25,969
- Grab the wheel! Grab the wheel!
- 653
- 00:31:25,969 --> 00:31:29,000
- - Hit the brake! Hit the gas! Hit the gas!
- - Okay, I'm...
- 654
- 00:31:31,110 --> 00:31:32,912
- I don't wanna die!
- 655
- 00:31:36,634 --> 00:31:39,894
- Okay, I got the wheel!
- I got the wheel! Okay! Okay!
- 656
- 00:31:39,894 --> 00:31:42,004
- Okay, what are we gonna do?
- 657
- 00:31:42,004 --> 00:31:44,305
- I have an idea. What?
- 658
- 00:31:44,305 --> 00:31:45,955
- Handbrake turn. What?
- 659
- 00:31:45,955 --> 00:31:47,682
- I pull the wheel to the left,
- yank the handbrake,
- 660
- 00:31:47,682 --> 00:31:49,945
- we do a 180, cross the median,
- drive right past him.
- 661
- 00:31:49,945 --> 00:31:51,172
- You know how to do that, Dad?
- 662
- 00:31:51,172 --> 00:31:52,783
- If Vin Diesel can do it,
- so can I.
- 663
- 00:31:52,783 --> 00:31:54,317
- Why are you as good
- as Vin Diesel?
- 664
- 00:31:54,317 --> 00:31:55,890
- Hang on!
- 665
- 00:32:06,670 --> 00:32:09,048
- That's not
- what I was trying to do.
- 666
- 00:32:09,048 --> 00:32:11,542
- Everybody okay? Oh, shit!
- 667
- 00:32:21,707 --> 00:32:22,820
- Go, Dad! Dad! Dad! Go! Go!
- 668
- 00:32:22,820 --> 00:32:24,777
- Oh, my God. Oh, God!
- 669
- 00:32:35,556 --> 00:32:37,052
- Whoa!
- 670
- 00:32:44,033 --> 00:32:45,760
- Oh, shit!
- 671
- 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:47,141
- Goddamn it.
- 672
- 00:32:55,887 --> 00:32:58,573
- All right, boys. This is you.
- 673
- 00:32:58,573 --> 00:32:59,570
- I call both beds!
- 674
- 00:32:59,570 --> 00:33:01,296
- You get one bed.
- 675
- 00:33:01,296 --> 00:33:03,598
- If you guys need anything,
- Mom and I are right next door.
- 676
- 00:33:03,598 --> 00:33:05,325
- Oh, I think I saw a hot tub,
- Dad.
- 677
- 00:33:05,362 --> 00:33:06,820
- Is it okay if I take a soak?
- 678
- 00:33:06,820 --> 00:33:09,276
- Yeah. Yeah, sure.
- 679
- 00:33:09,276 --> 00:33:11,769
- But if anyone tries
- to shove you in their car,
- 680
- 00:33:11,769 --> 00:33:13,879
- you give 'em a good scratch
- like I showed ya.
- 681
- 00:33:13,879 --> 00:33:15,567
- I will. All right. Attaboy.
- 682
- 00:33:15,567 --> 00:33:17,829
- Thanks.
- 683
- 00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:20,784
- So... How come you never told me
- 684
- 00:33:20,784 --> 00:33:24,390
- about the whole
- Debbie do-anything thing?
- 685
- 00:33:24,390 --> 00:33:26,652
- Come on, that was so long ago.
- 686
- 00:33:26,652 --> 00:33:29,223
- Yeah, but it's part
- of who you are and...
- 687
- 00:33:29,223 --> 00:33:31,064
- I wanna know all about you.
- 688
- 00:33:31,064 --> 00:33:34,555
- All right. Well, that's fair.
- What do you wanna know?
- 689
- 00:33:34,555 --> 00:33:38,353
- How many guys did you sleep with before me?
- Oh, no-no-no-no-no.
- 690
- 00:33:38,353 --> 00:33:40,310
- No-no-no-no-no. Ah, come on.
- 691
- 00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:42,381
- Come on. That's not important.
- 692
- 00:33:42,381 --> 00:33:44,030
- Well, no, I know.
- But I'm just...
- 693
- 00:33:44,030 --> 00:33:45,066
- You really need to know?
- 694
- 00:33:45,066 --> 00:33:46,255
- It just...
- 695
- 00:33:46,255 --> 00:33:47,790
- Oh, okay. I'm just curious.
- 696
- 00:33:47,790 --> 00:33:48,864
- Okay, okay.
- 697
- 00:33:48,864 --> 00:33:51,741
- Um... let's see.
- 698
- 00:33:52,930 --> 00:33:55,040
- Hmm.
- 699
- 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:58,799
- And then... um...
- 700
- 00:33:58,799 --> 00:34:00,372
- Kinda takin' you a little while.
- 701
- 00:34:00,372 --> 00:34:03,863
- Okay, so, uh, around... th...
- 702
- 00:34:03,863 --> 00:34:05,820
- Three. Three.
- 703
- 00:34:05,820 --> 00:34:07,852
- That's actually reassuring,
- 704
- 00:34:07,852 --> 00:34:09,387
- 'cause it's the same as me.
- 705
- 00:34:09,387 --> 00:34:12,226
- No. Didn't say three.
- 706
- 00:34:12,226 --> 00:34:14,681
- 13. 13?
- 707
- 00:34:14,681 --> 00:34:15,832
- Nope.
- 708
- 00:34:15,870 --> 00:34:16,983
- And it's not three?
- 709
- 00:34:16,983 --> 00:34:18,402
- It's around... It's around 30.
- 710
- 00:34:18,402 --> 00:34:20,397
- 30! Hoo!
- 711
- 00:34:20,397 --> 00:34:21,740
- Wow! Holy cow.
- 712
- 00:34:21,740 --> 00:34:24,693
- See, now I feel like
- you're judging me.
- 713
- 00:34:24,732 --> 00:34:26,918
- I'm judging me.
- 714
- 00:34:26,918 --> 00:34:29,911
- Your number
- is so much higher than mine.
- 715
- 00:34:29,911 --> 00:34:32,212
- Yes, it is a big number,
- but that doesn't matter.
- 716
- 00:34:32,212 --> 00:34:33,325
- Honey, it doesn't matter.
- 717
- 00:34:33,362 --> 00:34:34,360
- You're... you're so cool.
- 718
- 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,278
- I-I-I-I feel like a loser.
- 719
- 00:34:36,278 --> 00:34:37,544
- You are not a loser.
- 720
- 00:34:37,544 --> 00:34:38,925
- Okay? Yeah?
- 721
- 00:34:38,925 --> 00:34:41,380
- 'Cause, uh,
- I had to work pretty hard
- 722
- 00:34:41,380 --> 00:34:42,915
- just to get those three.
- 723
- 00:34:44,257 --> 00:34:45,677
- Had to take care
- of Jenny's grandfather
- 724
- 00:34:45,677 --> 00:34:47,787
- for months
- before she slept with me.
- 725
- 00:34:47,787 --> 00:34:49,360
- And he was racist.
- 726
- 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:50,587
- Please don't base it on me.
- 727
- 00:34:50,587 --> 00:34:52,274
- I was, like, crazy back then.
- 728
- 00:34:52,274 --> 00:34:55,919
- I was completely immature
- and acting out
- 729
- 00:34:55,919 --> 00:34:58,835
- and just really, like,
- free with my body,
- 730
- 00:34:58,872 --> 00:35:00,523
- and that's just not
- who I am anymore.
- 731
- 00:35:00,523 --> 00:35:02,709
- That's not who we are.
- 732
- 00:35:02,709 --> 00:35:05,432
- Well... we're pretty free
- with our bodies.
- 733
- 00:35:05,432 --> 00:35:10,074
- But, y-you have to admit
- I-I feel like we've gotten...
- 734
- 00:35:10,074 --> 00:35:14,486
- Like, less free with our bodies.
- 735
- 00:35:14,486 --> 00:35:16,865
- But we have sex every week
- with our bodies.
- 736
- 00:35:16,865 --> 00:35:21,621
- We do. But, I mean, it's gotten
- a little routine, babe.
- 737
- 00:35:21,621 --> 00:35:23,117
- You know, you always
- 738
- 00:35:23,117 --> 00:35:24,613
- are lighting
- that same yankee candle...
- 739
- 00:35:24,613 --> 00:35:26,071
- and everything.
- 740
- 00:35:26,071 --> 00:35:27,145
- And I don't know,
- 741
- 00:35:27,145 --> 00:35:28,602
- it might be nice
- 742
- 00:35:28,602 --> 00:35:31,403
- to mix it up a little bit
- every once in a while.
- 743
- 00:35:31,442 --> 00:35:32,746
- Okay? No big deal.
- 744
- 00:35:32,746 --> 00:35:34,778
- I-I-I'm gonna go take a shower.
- 745
- 00:35:34,778 --> 00:35:36,851
- Okay?
- I'm gonna take one with you.
- 746
- 00:35:36,851 --> 00:35:38,423
- Hmm?
- 747
- 00:35:38,423 --> 00:35:40,840
- Uh... We'll have sex in it.
- 748
- 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,604
- Yeah. In the shower.
- 749
- 00:35:42,604 --> 00:35:45,558
- How's that for Gettin' free
- with our bodies,
- 750
- 00:35:45,558 --> 00:35:46,824
- Debbie do-anything?
- 751
- 00:35:46,824 --> 00:35:48,588
- I like that. Yeah.
- 752
- 00:35:48,588 --> 00:35:50,698
- Oh, Russ.
- 753
- 00:35:52,732 --> 00:35:54,649
- Just be careful
- not to drop the soap.
- 754
- 00:35:54,649 --> 00:35:56,107
- Oh, I won't.
- 755
- 00:35:58,486 --> 00:35:59,982
- What?
- 756
- 00:35:59,982 --> 00:36:01,938
- This is fun and different.
- 757
- 00:36:01,938 --> 00:36:03,741
- I know. It is.
- 758
- 00:36:03,741 --> 00:36:06,235
- You are so cute when you get
- excited about stuff.
- 759
- 00:36:06,235 --> 00:36:10,378
- Mm. Mm.
- You're, like, so cute always.
- 760
- 00:36:10,378 --> 00:36:12,066
- Aww. Honey.
- 761
- 00:36:12,066 --> 00:36:13,983
- Oh.
- 762
- 00:36:15,058 --> 00:36:16,439
- Aah! Oh, my... holy shit!
- 763
- 00:36:16,439 --> 00:36:17,935
- Are those mushrooms?!
- 764
- 00:36:17,935 --> 00:36:19,776
- It looks like somebody
- blew their head off in there.
- 765
- 00:36:19,776 --> 00:36:21,080
- Oh, God.
- 766
- 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:22,078
- God.
- 767
- 00:36:22,078 --> 00:36:23,651
- So, should we, uh...
- 768
- 00:36:23,651 --> 00:36:25,569
- Should we get in or...
- 769
- 00:36:26,489 --> 00:36:28,484
- No, right?
- 770
- 00:36:28,484 --> 00:36:31,055
- Yeah. I'm gonna see if there's
- somethin' to clean that with.
- 771
- 00:36:31,055 --> 00:36:32,320
- Mm.
- 772
- 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,584
- Maybe the housekeeping left a...
- 773
- 00:36:34,584 --> 00:36:37,422
- Oh. Well, here's a brillo pad.
- 774
- 00:36:37,422 --> 00:36:39,110
- I'll just...
- 775
- 00:36:39,110 --> 00:36:40,760
- Russ. Yeah.
- 776
- 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:41,987
- That's not a brillo pad.
- 777
- 00:36:41,987 --> 00:36:43,522
- It's a ball of pubic hair.
- 778
- 00:36:43,522 --> 00:36:45,938
- Oh! Aah!
- 779
- 00:36:45,938 --> 00:36:47,742
- Oh, my gosh.
- There's so much of it.
- 780
- 00:36:47,742 --> 00:36:51,309
- Who has that much pubic hair?!
- It's not even possible.
- 781
- 00:36:51,309 --> 00:36:53,688
- No, not one person.
- That's all different colors.
- 782
- 00:36:55,529 --> 00:36:57,984
- That's from, like,
- 30 different guys.
- 783
- 00:36:58,023 --> 00:36:59,403
- Oh, shut up, Russ.
- 784
- 00:36:59,403 --> 00:37:02,012
- No. I-I'm sorry.
- 785
- 00:37:27,867 --> 00:37:30,169
- You're pretty good. Oh!
- 786
- 00:37:30,207 --> 00:37:31,819
- Geez!
- 787
- 00:37:31,819 --> 00:37:33,929
- Sorry.
- 788
- 00:37:33,929 --> 00:37:36,307
- I, uh
- I didn't mean to scare you.
- 789
- 00:37:37,802 --> 00:37:38,800
- Hi.
- 790
- 00:37:38,838 --> 00:37:39,797
- Hi.
- 791
- 00:37:39,836 --> 00:37:40,872
- You were in the Jeep.
- 792
- 00:37:40,872 --> 00:37:43,250
- And you were
- in that plastic bag.
- 793
- 00:37:43,250 --> 00:37:46,050
- That was my stupid brother.
- 794
- 00:37:46,050 --> 00:37:48,198
- Gotcha. Big brothers suck.
- 795
- 00:37:48,198 --> 00:37:51,881
- Oh, no. Yeah, big.
- 796
- 00:37:51,881 --> 00:37:53,070
- I'm Adena.
- 797
- 00:37:53,070 --> 00:37:54,988
- James.
- 798
- 00:37:54,988 --> 00:37:57,060
- - I have a penis.
- - What?
- 799
- 00:37:57,098 --> 00:37:58,824
- It's on your guitar.
- 800
- 00:37:58,824 --> 00:38:00,167
- Oh.
- 801
- 00:38:00,167 --> 00:38:01,356
- Same brother.
- 802
- 00:38:01,356 --> 00:38:03,236
- - What an asshole.
- - Yeah.
- 803
- 00:38:04,157 --> 00:38:05,500
- You wanna go in?
- 804
- 00:38:05,537 --> 00:38:08,338
- Absolutely.
- 805
- 00:38:08,338 --> 00:38:10,372
- Well, what have we here?
- 806
- 00:38:10,372 --> 00:38:12,711
- Little Romeo and Juliet
- situation?
- 807
- 00:38:14,284 --> 00:38:17,046
- My name's Russ.
- Pleased to meet you both.
- 808
- 00:38:17,046 --> 00:38:21,726
- I'm just a stranger,
- passin' through town.
- 809
- 00:38:21,726 --> 00:38:23,184
- But I couldn't help noticing
- 810
- 00:38:23,184 --> 00:38:24,603
- how incredibly handsome
- this young man is.
- 811
- 00:38:24,603 --> 00:38:27,365
- What's your story?
- You got a girlfriend?
- 812
- 00:38:27,365 --> 00:38:29,513
- - No.
- - What?
- 813
- 00:38:29,513 --> 00:38:31,738
- No girlfriend?
- 814
- 00:38:31,738 --> 00:38:34,117
- Cute boy like that?
- Somebody's gonna snatch you up.
- 815
- 00:38:34,117 --> 00:38:36,073
- - Do you want me to call the cops?
- - No.
- 816
- 00:38:36,112 --> 00:38:39,909
- And he plays guitar? Dream boy!
- 817
- 00:38:39,909 --> 00:38:41,175
- - Make a muscle.
- - I'd...
- 818
- 00:38:41,175 --> 00:38:42,479
- - Do it!
- - Rather not.
- 819
- 00:38:42,479 --> 00:38:44,359
- Take your shirt off.
- Make a muscle.
- 820
- 00:38:44,359 --> 00:38:46,315
- - I really don't want to.
- - Don't be shy.
- 821
- 00:38:46,315 --> 00:38:48,271
- - Show us what you're workin' with.
- - All right.
- 822
- 00:38:48,271 --> 00:38:51,072
- Um, I should go.
- 823
- 00:38:51,072 --> 00:38:52,760
- Um...
- 824
- 00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:54,410
- Are you sure
- that you'll be okay?
- 825
- 00:38:54,410 --> 00:38:56,136
- I think so.
- 826
- 00:38:56,136 --> 00:38:58,437
- Okay.
- 827
- 00:39:00,625 --> 00:39:02,120
- Bye.
- 828
- 00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:03,387
- Dang it.
- 829
- 00:39:03,387 --> 00:39:05,995
- Dad, why would you do that?
- 830
- 00:39:05,995 --> 00:39:08,257
- Saw ya talkin' to her.
- Figured you could use a Wingman.
- 831
- 00:39:08,257 --> 00:39:10,022
- I didn't need a Wingman.
- 832
- 00:39:10,022 --> 00:39:11,442
- Well...
- 833
- 00:39:11,442 --> 00:39:13,245
- Looks like ya did. She left.
- 834
- 00:39:13,245 --> 00:39:14,818
- That's 'cause you were approaching...
- You know, James,
- 835
- 00:39:14,818 --> 00:39:17,388
- when I was your age,
- Grandpa Clark sat me down,
- 836
- 00:39:17,388 --> 00:39:19,766
- and we had a little chat.
- 837
- 00:39:21,109 --> 00:39:22,720
- Seeing you with that girl
- made me realize
- 838
- 00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:25,137
- that we haven't
- had that chat yet.
- 839
- 00:39:25,137 --> 00:39:26,978
- - We don't need that chat.
- - Yeah?
- 840
- 00:39:26,978 --> 00:39:28,934
- No. Come on.
- I know it's embarrassing.
- 841
- 00:39:28,934 --> 00:39:30,929
- But it'd be a lot
- more embarrassing
- 842
- 00:39:30,929 --> 00:39:32,809
- if you found yourself
- Tummy to Tummy
- 843
- 00:39:32,809 --> 00:39:34,152
- with a lady friend,
- 844
- 00:39:34,152 --> 00:39:35,341
- and you didn't know
- what goes where.
- 845
- 00:39:35,341 --> 00:39:36,645
- - I know what goes where.
- - You do?
- 846
- 00:39:36,645 --> 00:39:37,642
- - Uh-huh.
- - Ya sure?
- 847
- 00:39:37,642 --> 00:39:39,139
- Yep.
- 848
- 00:39:39,177 --> 00:39:41,249
- All right. All right.
- 849
- 00:39:41,249 --> 00:39:42,783
- Well, I just want you to know
- 850
- 00:39:42,783 --> 00:39:44,432
- I'm here to answer any questions
- 851
- 00:39:44,432 --> 00:39:46,273
- you might have about that stuff,
- 852
- 00:39:46,273 --> 00:39:49,035
- no matter how uncomfortable
- it seems.
- 853
- 00:39:50,954 --> 00:39:52,527
- Yeah, okay.
- 854
- 00:39:52,527 --> 00:39:54,176
- - Yeah, right. Here it comes.
- - Yeah. All right.
- 855
- 00:39:54,176 --> 00:39:56,324
- Okay.
- 856
- 00:39:56,324 --> 00:39:58,664
- Uh, there were
- some kids at school
- 857
- 00:39:58,664 --> 00:40:01,733
- who were talking about rim jobs.
- 858
- 00:40:01,733 --> 00:40:03,575
- - Mm.
- - So, what's that?
- 859
- 00:40:03,575 --> 00:40:05,455
- What's a rim job?
- 860
- 00:40:05,455 --> 00:40:07,487
- - Rim jobs.
- - Yeah.
- 861
- 00:40:07,487 --> 00:40:09,636
- Hmm. Is that R-I-M?
- 862
- 00:40:09,636 --> 00:40:10,901
- Mm-hmm.
- 863
- 00:40:11,937 --> 00:40:13,318
- Rim job. Country of origin.
- 864
- 00:40:13,318 --> 00:40:14,623
- I don't know.
- 865
- 00:40:14,623 --> 00:40:16,349
- Um, America.
- 866
- 00:40:16,349 --> 00:40:19,150
- Can I hear it in a sentence?
- 867
- 00:40:19,150 --> 00:40:20,569
- "What's a rim job, Dad?"
- 868
- 00:40:20,569 --> 00:40:21,988
- Oh.
- 869
- 00:40:22,985 --> 00:40:25,441
- Well, rim job.
- 870
- 00:40:25,441 --> 00:40:26,783
- I would guess a rim job is
- 871
- 00:40:26,783 --> 00:40:29,123
- when you kiss someone
- with your mouth closed.
- 872
- 00:40:29,123 --> 00:40:32,307
- Right? So you're only using
- the rim of your mouth.
- 873
- 00:40:32,307 --> 00:40:34,110
- - That's it?
- - Sure.
- 874
- 00:40:34,110 --> 00:40:37,256
- It... It felt like
- it was something way dirtier.
- 875
- 00:40:37,256 --> 00:40:40,133
- No, I mean,
- what else could it be?
- 876
- 00:40:40,133 --> 00:40:41,398
- Any other questions?
- 877
- 00:40:41,398 --> 00:40:43,163
- I guess not.
- 878
- 00:40:43,163 --> 00:40:46,309
- Good talk, James.
- 879
- 00:40:46,309 --> 00:40:48,917
- Now, I hope you're not too old
- 880
- 00:40:48,917 --> 00:40:52,523
- to let your Dad give you
- a good-night rim job.
- 881
- 00:42:06,675 --> 00:42:09,322
- Looks like we might get
- to aunt Audrey's before dinner.
- 882
- 00:42:09,322 --> 00:42:11,163
- Oh, will uncle Stone be there?
- 883
- 00:42:11,163 --> 00:42:12,775
- Yeah, I suppose he will.
- 884
- 00:42:12,775 --> 00:42:14,155
- Uncle Stone is cool.
- 885
- 00:42:14,155 --> 00:42:16,687
- You have to be cool
- to be a celebrity.
- 886
- 00:42:17,301 --> 00:42:19,334
- He's not exactly a celebrity.
- 887
- 00:42:19,334 --> 00:42:21,367
- I mean, he's a local weatherman.
- That's all.
- 888
- 00:42:21,406 --> 00:42:23,247
- A-Actually, Audrey said
- 889
- 00:42:23,247 --> 00:42:24,666
- that the networks
- are interested in him.
- 890
- 00:42:24,666 --> 00:42:25,855
- - Yeah?
- - Oh, yeah.
- 891
- 00:42:25,855 --> 00:42:27,160
- All right. Well, good for him.
- 892
- 00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:28,580
- Mom, do you think uncle Stone
- 893
- 00:42:28,580 --> 00:42:29,845
- will let me ride his horse?
- 894
- 00:42:29,845 --> 00:42:31,572
- I don't see why not.
- 895
- 00:42:31,572 --> 00:42:33,183
- - Do you think I can shoot his guns?
- - No, you cannot.
- 896
- 00:42:33,183 --> 00:42:34,717
- Too bad.
- 897
- 00:42:34,717 --> 00:42:37,555
- I would've shot you
- right off that fuckin' horse.
- 898
- 00:42:39,550 --> 00:42:41,085
- You know, I never
- would've imagined my sister
- 899
- 00:42:41,085 --> 00:42:42,811
- marrying such a conservative.
- 900
- 00:42:42,811 --> 00:42:44,269
- Oh, yeah, but just because.
- 901
- 00:42:44,269 --> 00:42:46,494
- Stone's political beliefs
- are different than ours
- 902
- 00:42:46,494 --> 00:42:47,606
- doesn't mean
- he's not good-looking.
- 903
- 00:42:47,606 --> 00:42:51,481
- I... um... A good person.
- 904
- 00:42:52,670 --> 00:42:53,975
- Ya said it!
- 905
- 00:42:53,975 --> 00:42:55,700
- - Uh, honey...
- - Hey, look at that!
- 906
- 00:42:55,700 --> 00:42:58,923
- Hot Springs up ahead.
- We've always wanted to do that.
- 907
- 00:42:58,923 --> 00:43:00,764
- Oh, honey, we don't
- wanna be late to Audrey's.
- 908
- 00:43:00,764 --> 00:43:03,373
- So we're a few minutes late.
- 909
- 00:43:03,373 --> 00:43:05,023
- We're on vacation. Right?
- 910
- 00:43:05,023 --> 00:43:07,363
- Come on. Let's have some fun.
- 911
- 00:43:07,900 --> 00:43:08,935
- Okay.
- 912
- 00:43:16,262 --> 00:43:18,794
- - Oh, look at the line.
- - This is gonna take forever.
- 913
- 00:43:18,794 --> 00:43:20,175
- Come on, guys.
- 914
- 00:43:20,175 --> 00:43:22,169
- How often do we get to soak
- in hot water?
- 915
- 00:43:22,247 --> 00:43:24,049
- Every time we take a bath.
- 916
- 00:43:24,049 --> 00:43:26,811
- No. This is different.
- 'Kay, this is natural.
- 917
- 00:43:26,811 --> 00:43:29,266
- This water was heated
- in mother nature's bowels.
- 918
- 00:43:29,266 --> 00:43:31,108
- Oh, gross.
- 919
- 00:43:31,108 --> 00:43:33,947
- There's gotta be another way in.
- 920
- 00:43:33,947 --> 00:43:35,442
- I'm gonna ask this gentleman.
- 921
- 00:43:35,442 --> 00:43:37,092
- I bet he'd know.
- 922
- 00:43:37,092 --> 00:43:38,473
- Excuse me, sir.
- 923
- 00:43:38,473 --> 00:43:39,892
- - Hi there.
- - Hey. Hi.
- 924
- 00:43:39,892 --> 00:43:41,696
- Hey, we were wondering.
- 925
- 00:43:41,696 --> 00:43:44,304
- Is there another entrance
- to the hot Springs?
- 926
- 00:43:44,304 --> 00:43:46,721
- Like, a secret entrance
- the locals use?
- 927
- 00:43:46,759 --> 00:43:48,792
- Line can get pretty long
- this time of year, huh?
- 928
- 00:43:48,792 --> 00:43:50,749
- Yeah. Yeah, it sure can.
- 929
- 00:43:50,749 --> 00:43:52,475
- Yeah, I'll tell you
- what y'all do.
- 930
- 00:43:52,475 --> 00:43:55,160
- Uh, can you see that dirt road?
- That path there on the left?
- 931
- 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:56,580
- Yeah.
- 932
- 00:43:56,580 --> 00:43:58,958
- If you just follow that
- all the way up,
- 933
- 00:43:58,958 --> 00:44:00,531
- that'll take you
- to the hot Springs.
- 934
- 00:44:00,531 --> 00:44:02,756
- All right. Perfect. Thank you.
- 935
- 00:44:02,756 --> 00:44:04,136
- Oh, no, no. You bet.
- 936
- 00:44:04,136 --> 00:44:05,748
- Y'all have a good time.
- 937
- 00:44:05,748 --> 00:44:07,091
- Oh, will do!
- 938
- 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:09,622
- Hey, what's your pet rat's name?
- 939
- 00:44:09,622 --> 00:44:11,003
- Is my pet what?
- 940
- 00:44:11,003 --> 00:44:12,154
- The...
- 941
- 00:44:12,154 --> 00:44:13,420
- What the fuck?
- 942
- 00:44:13,420 --> 00:44:14,379
- - Oh!
- - What the fuck?!
- 943
- 00:44:14,379 --> 00:44:15,530
- What the fuck?
- 944
- 00:44:15,530 --> 00:44:16,949
- I don't know him.
- 945
- 00:44:27,460 --> 00:44:28,841
- Honey, are you sure about this?
- 946
- 00:44:28,841 --> 00:44:31,297
- I mean, nobody else
- is going this way.
- 947
- 00:44:31,297 --> 00:44:36,437
- Yeah, well, most people
- think inside the box.
- 948
- 00:44:36,437 --> 00:44:38,738
- But you know who thinks
- outside the box?
- 949
- 00:44:38,738 --> 00:44:40,809
- Uncle Stone?
- 950
- 00:44:40,809 --> 00:44:43,649
- Me. Your father.
- 951
- 00:44:48,137 --> 00:44:51,513
- Um, honey,
- I don't see any hot Springs.
- 952
- 00:44:51,513 --> 00:44:53,009
- Well, the guy said
- 953
- 00:44:53,009 --> 00:44:54,428
- it was right at the end
- of this road, so...
- 954
- 00:44:54,428 --> 00:44:55,809
- Well, the guy also did not know
- 955
- 00:44:55,809 --> 00:44:57,113
- he had a rat on his shoulder,
- 956
- 00:44:57,113 --> 00:44:58,916
- so there's that.
- 957
- 00:44:58,916 --> 00:45:00,028
- Hold on.
- 958
- 00:45:08,737 --> 00:45:11,422
- Wow. Honey. This is beautiful.
- 959
- 00:45:11,422 --> 00:45:13,801
- - Isn't it?
- - Yeah.
- 960
- 00:45:15,143 --> 00:45:16,639
- All right, everyone.
- 961
- 00:45:16,639 --> 00:45:18,864
- In your bathing suits. Now!
- 962
- 00:45:20,667 --> 00:45:25,155
- Looks like we found
- our own private hot spring.
- 963
- 00:45:25,155 --> 00:45:27,611
- I say we call it
- "Griswold Springs."
- 964
- 00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:30,449
- Oh! The water's perfect.
- 965
- 00:45:30,449 --> 00:45:32,405
- Oh, my God. It's so nice.
- 966
- 00:45:32,405 --> 00:45:34,400
- Why does it smell like
- rotten eggs?
- 967
- 00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:35,628
- Oh, that's the sulfur, buddy.
- 968
- 00:45:35,628 --> 00:45:37,009
- - Yeah.
- - It's natural.
- 969
- 00:45:37,086 --> 00:45:39,311
- Yeah. And it's really good
- for you, too.
- 970
- 00:45:39,311 --> 00:45:42,341
- Actually, the minerals
- that are in this mud here,
- 971
- 00:45:42,341 --> 00:45:44,220
- they draw toxins
- out of your body.
- 972
- 00:45:44,220 --> 00:45:45,870
- - Ah.
- - Can you believe that?
- 973
- 00:45:45,870 --> 00:45:47,366
- Cool, right?
- 974
- 00:45:51,317 --> 00:45:53,082
- Oh, wow.
- 975
- 00:45:53,082 --> 00:45:54,885
- Mm.
- 976
- 00:45:54,885 --> 00:45:57,072
- This is perfect.
- 977
- 00:45:57,072 --> 00:45:58,798
- It's exactly what we needed.
- 978
- 00:45:58,798 --> 00:46:01,176
- Oh, yeah. Good call, Griswold.
- 979
- 00:46:03,017 --> 00:46:06,010
- - Oh, man.
- - Yeah.
- 980
- 00:46:06,010 --> 00:46:07,391
- Oh, yeah. That's it.
- 981
- 00:46:07,391 --> 00:46:08,657
- That's it.
- 982
- 00:46:08,657 --> 00:46:11,073
- I can feel my body detoxifying.
- 983
- 00:46:16,137 --> 00:46:19,129
- You know...
- It tastes a little shitty,
- 984
- 00:46:19,129 --> 00:46:20,894
- but I think that's part of it.
- 985
- 00:46:20,894 --> 00:46:21,853
- - Yeah.
- - That's okay.
- 986
- 00:46:21,853 --> 00:46:23,886
- This is wonderful.
- 987
- 00:46:28,336 --> 00:46:30,829
- That is the stuff!
- 988
- 00:46:30,829 --> 00:46:31,980
- Oh.
- 989
- 00:46:31,980 --> 00:46:33,438
- What is that, honey?
- On your ear.
- 990
- 00:46:33,438 --> 00:46:35,279
- What's on your ear?
- 991
- 00:46:35,279 --> 00:46:36,967
- What is that?
- 992
- 00:46:36,967 --> 00:46:38,387
- Oh, it's an ear!
- 993
- 00:46:38,387 --> 00:46:39,384
- Oh!
- 994
- 00:46:41,110 --> 00:46:43,220
- Look, James. Found a dart.
- 995
- 00:46:43,220 --> 00:46:44,716
- Are you crazy?!
- 996
- 00:46:44,716 --> 00:46:47,440
- Oh, my God! Everybody out
- of Griswold Springs!
- 997
- 00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:48,820
- - Get out of the poop!
- - That was nasty!
- 998
- 00:46:48,820 --> 00:46:51,775
- All over me!
- 999
- 00:46:51,775 --> 00:46:54,191
- I don't like Griswold Springs.
- 1000
- 00:46:54,229 --> 00:46:56,532
- Is that our car alarm?
- 1001
- 00:46:58,411 --> 00:47:00,406
- What?!
- 1002
- 00:47:00,406 --> 00:47:02,554
- How come that local guy
- didn't tell us
- 1003
- 00:47:02,554 --> 00:47:04,664
- there are thieves
- in these woods?
- 1004
- 00:47:05,776 --> 00:47:07,042
- Oh, right.
- 1005
- 00:47:07,886 --> 00:47:09,497
- He took my guitar.
- 1006
- 00:47:09,497 --> 00:47:11,531
- Oh, my God.
- He took all our money, Russ.
- 1007
- 00:47:11,531 --> 00:47:13,448
- All right.
- Not a best-case scenario.
- 1008
- 00:47:13,448 --> 00:47:16,594
- But, hey. He left your book.
- 1009
- 00:47:16,594 --> 00:47:20,123
- So, I guess
- we get the last laugh.
- 1010
- 00:47:20,123 --> 00:47:21,427
- Oh, really, honey?
- 1011
- 00:47:21,427 --> 00:47:23,883
- We're naked
- and covered in human waste.
- 1012
- 00:47:23,883 --> 00:47:26,414
- Oh, come on, sweetheart.
- We don't know that it's human.
- 1013
- 00:47:34,240 --> 00:47:35,737
- This is so embarrassing.
- 1014
- 00:47:35,737 --> 00:47:37,232
- I feel like
- your cousin Eddie's family.
- 1015
- 00:47:37,232 --> 00:47:38,882
- It's no big deal.
- 1016
- 00:47:38,882 --> 00:47:41,183
- We'll just tell Stone and Audrey
- what happened.
- 1017
- 00:47:41,222 --> 00:47:43,025
- Kids, remember what happened?
- 1018
- 00:47:43,025 --> 00:47:45,557
- We pulled over to rescue a baby
- from a burning car
- 1019
- 00:47:45,557 --> 00:47:48,434
- and somebody stole all of our
- stuff while we were distracted.
- 1020
- 00:47:48,434 --> 00:47:51,234
- And why are we naked
- and covered in feces?
- 1021
- 00:47:51,234 --> 00:47:53,267
- I don't remember.
- 1022
- 00:47:53,267 --> 00:47:55,645
- That's right. We don't remember.
- 1023
- 00:48:13,829 --> 00:48:14,942
- Oh, my God.
- 1024
- 00:48:14,979 --> 00:48:16,744
- Hmm?
- 1025
- 00:48:16,783 --> 00:48:18,278
- Oh, come on.
- 1026
- 00:48:21,501 --> 00:48:23,112
- - What're we gonna do?
- - Can you gimme a hand with this?
- 1027
- 00:48:23,112 --> 00:48:24,569
- - Yeah. Yeah.
- - Please?
- 1028
- 00:48:24,608 --> 00:48:27,294
- Just... yeah.
- 1029
- 00:48:27,294 --> 00:48:29,250
- Oh, gosh.
- 1030
- 00:48:29,250 --> 00:48:31,014
- I-I can't.
- I can't... I can't get it off.
- 1031
- 00:48:31,053 --> 00:48:32,818
- - Use your spit.
- - Oh, okay.
- 1032
- 00:48:34,467 --> 00:48:35,925
- Focus on the balls.
- 1033
- 00:48:35,925 --> 00:48:38,111
- If you guys wanna stop,
- that'd be good, too.
- 1034
- 00:48:39,876 --> 00:48:42,331
- Stay on the balls.
- I've got the shaft.
- 1035
- 00:48:42,331 --> 00:48:44,901
- Hi, y'all!
- 1036
- 00:48:44,901 --> 00:48:46,780
- Hey! Oh, my goodness. Hi!
- 1037
- 00:48:46,780 --> 00:48:48,354
- - Hi.
- - What happened?
- 1038
- 00:48:48,354 --> 00:48:52,228
- Well, that's a...
- It's a crazy story, um...
- 1039
- 00:48:52,228 --> 00:48:54,069
- Dad got scammed
- by a guy at a park.
- 1040
- 00:48:54,069 --> 00:48:56,524
- - Kevin!
- - Same old Rusty.
- 1041
- 00:48:56,524 --> 00:48:58,404
- You'd buy water from a faucet.
- 1042
- 00:49:01,588 --> 00:49:04,427
- Anyway,
- you guys look disgusting.
- 1043
- 00:49:04,427 --> 00:49:06,077
- So, um, I have some clothes
- 1044
- 00:49:06,077 --> 00:49:07,534
- that I was gonna give
- to the church
- 1045
- 00:49:07,534 --> 00:49:09,069
- if you guys wanna borrow
- some of those.
- 1046
- 00:49:09,069 --> 00:49:10,450
- Great. Thank you, Audrey.
- 1047
- 00:49:10,450 --> 00:49:11,601
- - Come on inside.
- - Thanks.
- 1048
- 00:49:11,601 --> 00:49:12,943
- All right.
- 1049
- 00:49:12,943 --> 00:49:14,631
- Boy, y'all stink.
- 1050
- 00:49:18,314 --> 00:49:20,807
- Oh, I don't like that.
- 1051
- 00:49:20,807 --> 00:49:23,684
- Man, this place makes our house
- look like shit.
- 1052
- 00:49:23,684 --> 00:49:25,717
- Well, Kevin,
- 1053
- 00:49:25,717 --> 00:49:28,211
- that's only 'cause a dollar
- goes much further out here
- 1054
- 00:49:28,211 --> 00:49:30,551
- than it does in Chicago.
- 1055
- 00:49:30,551 --> 00:49:32,584
- Especially when you make
- a lot more of 'em.
- 1056
- 00:49:32,584 --> 00:49:34,156
- Ha.
- 1057
- 00:49:34,156 --> 00:49:36,151
- Just messin' with ya. Shoot!
- 1058
- 00:49:36,151 --> 00:49:38,837
- You boys are growin' faster
- than a weed under a faucet.
- 1059
- 00:49:38,837 --> 00:49:40,141
- You still wrasslin', son?
- 1060
- 00:49:40,180 --> 00:49:41,790
- - Uh-huh.
- - Oh? Well, come on.
- 1061
- 00:49:41,790 --> 00:49:43,670
- Show me what ya got.
- 1062
- 00:49:47,429 --> 00:49:49,463
- Hey, Kevin.
- Get off your brother, please.
- 1063
- 00:49:49,463 --> 00:49:51,343
- They're just havin' themselves
- a wrassle.
- 1064
- 00:49:51,343 --> 00:49:52,455
- It's what brothers do.
- 1065
- 00:49:52,455 --> 00:49:54,948
- Hey, ooh, look at you guys.
- 1066
- 00:49:54,948 --> 00:49:56,675
- Hot damn. Debbie Griswold.
- 1067
- 00:49:56,675 --> 00:49:58,209
- You just keep Gettin' prettier.
- 1068
- 00:49:58,247 --> 00:50:00,664
- - Oh, stop.
- - No, I mean it.
- 1069
- 00:50:00,664 --> 00:50:04,040
- You could make hot water
- come out of the cold faucet.
- 1070
- 00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:07,646
- That's... that's very sweet.
- 1071
- 00:50:07,684 --> 00:50:10,293
- You know, I remember the night
- you first wore that dress.
- 1072
- 00:50:10,293 --> 00:50:12,978
- - You remember that night?
- - Yeah, I remember that night.
- 1073
- 00:50:12,978 --> 00:50:15,817
- - I'll never forget that night.
- - Neither will I, baby.
- 1074
- 00:50:15,817 --> 00:50:17,313
- You're my Fuckin' husband.
- 1075
- 00:50:17,313 --> 00:50:19,730
- Oh, betcha I am.
- I'm your caveman.
- 1076
- 00:50:20,958 --> 00:50:22,799
- I'll rip you in half.
- 1077
- 00:50:22,799 --> 00:50:23,950
- Ooh.
- 1078
- 00:50:23,950 --> 00:50:25,714
- I wanna have all your babies.
- 1079
- 00:50:25,714 --> 00:50:26,941
- Ooh. Ooh, baby.
- 1080
- 00:50:30,509 --> 00:50:32,504
- I hit the Fuckin' jackpot
- with you.
- 1081
- 00:50:32,504 --> 00:50:34,614
- Oh, God, what I'm gonna do
- to you tonight.
- 1082
- 00:50:36,109 --> 00:50:38,565
- Who wants to see
- Stone's man cave?
- 1083
- 00:50:39,792 --> 00:50:41,711
- - Uh...
- - Yeah.
- 1084
- 00:50:41,711 --> 00:50:43,360
- Is this Charlton Heston?
- 1085
- 00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:45,508
- Yep. Chuck was a good friend.
- 1086
- 00:50:45,508 --> 00:50:47,695
- I can't tell ya
- how many nights we spent
- 1087
- 00:50:47,695 --> 00:50:49,191
- drinkin' bourbon together
- 1088
- 00:50:49,191 --> 00:50:50,994
- and cryin' about the state
- of this country.
- 1089
- 00:50:50,994 --> 00:50:54,676
- It's true. They did.
- They literally cried together.
- 1090
- 00:50:54,676 --> 00:50:56,978
- Somehow I don't see you crying,
- though, Stone.
- 1091
- 00:50:56,978 --> 00:50:58,781
- Yeah, that's, uh,
- 1092
- 00:50:58,781 --> 00:51:00,622
- that's kind of embarrassing.
- Right?
- 1093
- 00:51:00,622 --> 00:51:03,155
- Not embarrassing to me.
- 1094
- 00:51:03,155 --> 00:51:06,491
- Even the strongest faucet
- sometimes lets out a few drops.
- 1095
- 00:51:06,491 --> 00:51:08,755
- What is with these faucets?
- 1096
- 00:51:08,755 --> 00:51:10,290
- Hey, everyone thought
- that F-4 twister
- 1097
- 00:51:10,290 --> 00:51:11,978
- was gonna bypass Harris County.
- 1098
- 00:51:11,978 --> 00:51:13,358
- Not my Stone.
- 1099
- 00:51:13,358 --> 00:51:15,852
- I had a feelin' that
- that low-pressure system
- 1100
- 00:51:15,852 --> 00:51:17,962
- was gonna make a beeline
- for mission bend.
- 1101
- 00:51:18,039 --> 00:51:20,033
- Thanks to my report,
- 1102
- 00:51:20,033 --> 00:51:22,757
- those people had
- an extra 15 minutes to evacuate.
- 1103
- 00:51:22,757 --> 00:51:24,867
- Governor Perry said
- 1104
- 00:51:24,867 --> 00:51:26,325
- he saved 2,000 lives.
- 1105
- 00:51:26,325 --> 00:51:29,470
- That's how many we lost
- at Pearl Harbor,
- 1106
- 00:51:29,470 --> 00:51:32,577
- so basically,
- he stopped Pearl Harbor.
- 1107
- 00:51:32,577 --> 00:51:34,342
- That's when
- the national news called.
- 1108
- 00:51:34,342 --> 00:51:35,646
- Now, between us...
- 1109
- 00:51:35,646 --> 00:51:36,912
- It's lookin' good.
- Ain't it, honey?
- 1110
- 00:51:36,912 --> 00:51:38,408
- Mm-hmm.
- 1111
- 00:51:38,408 --> 00:51:40,595
- 'Course none of that
- would've been possible
- 1112
- 00:51:40,595 --> 00:51:43,165
- without my sugar mama, here,
- 1113
- 00:51:43,165 --> 00:51:44,507
- workin' day and night
- 1114
- 00:51:44,507 --> 00:51:45,659
- to put me
- through meteorology school.
- 1115
- 00:51:45,659 --> 00:51:47,385
- I liked workin', baby.
- 1116
- 00:51:47,385 --> 00:51:49,341
- I didn't mind it one bit.
- 1117
- 00:51:49,341 --> 00:51:51,259
- Well, you never have
- to do it again, darlin'.
- 1118
- 00:51:51,259 --> 00:51:52,985
- Um, but it kinda
- gave me purpose.
- 1119
- 00:51:52,985 --> 00:51:54,788
- Nope, never again.
- That is a promise.
- 1120
- 00:51:56,783 --> 00:51:59,161
- Wow. Uncle Stone, I may not
- agree with your politics
- 1121
- 00:51:59,238 --> 00:52:00,964
- but that doesn't mean
- I don't admire you.
- 1122
- 00:52:01,003 --> 00:52:02,384
- Well, thank you, James.
- 1123
- 00:52:02,384 --> 00:52:04,724
- But the man
- you should admire the most
- 1124
- 00:52:04,724 --> 00:52:06,565
- is sittin' right next to you.
- 1125
- 00:52:07,025 --> 00:52:08,905
- But there's nobody there.
- 1126
- 00:52:08,905 --> 00:52:11,245
- Oh, I don't mean that chair.
- I mean your Pa right here.
- 1127
- 00:52:11,245 --> 00:52:12,703
- Okay.
- 1128
- 00:52:12,703 --> 00:52:13,853
- He doesn't save anybody's life.
- 1129
- 00:52:13,853 --> 00:52:14,851
- Oh, doesn't he?
- 1130
- 00:52:16,386 --> 00:52:17,651
- Well, every time he flies
- that little plane of his,
- 1131
- 00:52:17,690 --> 00:52:19,608
- he's savin' lives
- by not crashin'.
- 1132
- 00:52:19,608 --> 00:52:22,754
- And in my book...
- That makes him a hero.
- 1133
- 00:52:22,754 --> 00:52:24,403
- Thank you.
- 1134
- 00:52:24,403 --> 00:52:25,899
- You know,
- a lot of people actually...
- 1135
- 00:52:25,899 --> 00:52:28,163
- Not to mention,
- he also snagged himself
- 1136
- 00:52:28,163 --> 00:52:30,425
- one sweet slice of foxy pie
- in your Mama there.
- 1137
- 00:52:30,425 --> 00:52:32,689
- You gotta stop that today.
- 1138
- 00:52:32,689 --> 00:52:34,454
- Stop it.
- 1139
- 00:52:34,454 --> 00:52:37,753
- You know what I always
- wanted to know was...
- 1140
- 00:52:37,753 --> 00:52:40,975
- When did you first know
- the weather?
- 1141
- 00:52:40,975 --> 00:52:42,203
- Well...
- 1142
- 00:52:42,203 --> 00:52:44,389
- - You all right, Deb?
- - What? What?
- 1143
- 00:52:44,389 --> 00:52:46,039
- Hey! There's a cow!
- 1144
- 00:52:46,691 --> 00:52:48,801
- Oh, not a cow. That's a steer.
- 1145
- 00:52:48,801 --> 00:52:52,790
- That there is $6000 worth
- of juicy, Purebred Angus beef.
- 1146
- 00:52:54,133 --> 00:52:55,974
- It's Stone's new passion,
- raising cattle.
- 1147
- 00:52:55,974 --> 00:52:57,585
- He's even named them.
- 1148
- 00:52:57,585 --> 00:52:58,928
- Uh-huh.
- 1149
- 00:52:58,928 --> 00:53:01,153
- Old Sebastian here
- loves him some ribs.
- 1150
- 00:53:01,153 --> 00:53:02,956
- Here ya go, boy.
- 1151
- 00:53:02,956 --> 00:53:04,912
- Here. Oh, that's it.
- 1152
- 00:53:07,061 --> 00:53:08,403
- Dad, isn't that...
- 1153
- 00:53:08,403 --> 00:53:10,245
- Cannibalism? Yeah.
- 1154
- 00:53:10,245 --> 00:53:11,933
- Say, if you boys
- wanna get up early tomorrow,
- 1155
- 00:53:11,933 --> 00:53:14,272
- you can watch me herd
- these suckers into the corral.
- 1156
- 00:53:14,272 --> 00:53:16,267
- - Oh.
- - Wait a minute, wait a minute.
- 1157
- 00:53:16,267 --> 00:53:17,801
- You herd them yourself?
- 1158
- 00:53:17,801 --> 00:53:19,604
- I'm a man, aren't I?
- 1159
- 00:53:19,604 --> 00:53:20,756
- Yes.
- 1160
- 00:53:21,983 --> 00:53:23,633
- Uh, hey, Stone,
- 1161
- 00:53:23,633 --> 00:53:25,781
- not sure if you need a hand
- out there, but I'd love to help.
- 1162
- 00:53:25,781 --> 00:53:27,430
- Yeah, sure thing, Russ,
- if you're up for it.
- 1163
- 00:53:27,430 --> 00:53:29,233
- I can always use
- an extra set of hands.
- 1164
- 00:53:29,233 --> 00:53:32,916
- Well, I was born
- with an extra set of hands.
- 1165
- 00:53:32,916 --> 00:53:35,601
- That's an odd thing to say.
- 1166
- 00:53:35,678 --> 00:53:36,905
- But you know, I-I-I reckon
- 1167
- 00:53:36,905 --> 00:53:38,862
- this'll be the highlight
- of your trip.
- 1168
- 00:53:38,862 --> 00:53:40,473
- Well, the real highlight,
- of course,
- 1169
- 00:53:40,473 --> 00:53:42,621
- will be when we get
- to walley world
- 1170
- 00:53:42,621 --> 00:53:46,496
- and I take my family on
- the Velociraptor.
- 1171
- 00:53:46,496 --> 00:53:48,261
- I think it is so weird.
- 1172
- 00:53:48,261 --> 00:53:50,485
- I don't know why you want to go
- back to Walley World
- 1173
- 00:53:50,485 --> 00:53:51,943
- after Dad flipped out there.
- 1174
- 00:53:51,943 --> 00:53:54,743
- Audrey, Dad flipped out
- because he loved us
- 1175
- 00:53:54,743 --> 00:53:56,239
- and wanted us to be close.
- 1176
- 00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:57,774
- And we were.
- 1177
- 00:53:57,774 --> 00:53:59,922
- And that's all I want
- for my family.
- 1178
- 00:53:59,922 --> 00:54:02,569
- You're such a clown.
- 1179
- 00:54:02,569 --> 00:54:04,103
- You're a clown.
- 1180
- 00:54:04,103 --> 00:54:06,328
- Babe, baby,
- I-I think Rusty's right.
- 1181
- 00:54:06,328 --> 00:54:10,816
- You know, family is the most
- important thing there is.
- 1182
- 00:54:10,816 --> 00:54:12,619
- Little somethin'.
- 1183
- 00:54:15,420 --> 00:54:17,837
- You know, maybe we'll take baby
- Cooper on a trip this summer.
- 1184
- 00:54:17,837 --> 00:54:20,138
- - Yeah, not to walley world.
- - Oh, God, no.
- 1185
- 00:54:20,138 --> 00:54:22,325
- - 'Cause that'd be stupid.
- - That'd be stupid.
- 1186
- 00:54:22,325 --> 00:54:23,476
- How 'bout Paris?
- 1187
- 00:54:23,476 --> 00:54:24,665
- Oui!
- 1188
- 00:54:24,665 --> 00:54:26,468
- Oui, Oui, Oui!
- 1189
- 00:54:26,468 --> 00:54:29,307
- And then, when we get back,
- I can maybe get a part-time job?
- 1190
- 00:54:29,307 --> 00:54:31,455
- Well, not while there's
- breath in my body, sweetheart.
- 1191
- 00:54:37,171 --> 00:54:38,514
- You know, honey, I am...
- 1192
- 00:54:38,514 --> 00:54:39,818
- I'm really happy
- for your sister.
- 1193
- 00:54:39,818 --> 00:54:41,083
- - Yeah?
- - Seriously.
- 1194
- 00:54:41,122 --> 00:54:42,733
- She and Stone seem
- really in love.
- 1195
- 00:54:42,733 --> 00:54:44,038
- It's nice.
- 1196
- 00:54:44,038 --> 00:54:45,533
- These pants Stone gave me
- 1197
- 00:54:45,533 --> 00:54:47,528
- are really stretched out
- in the crotch, though.
- 1198
- 00:54:47,528 --> 00:54:49,446
- That's weird. Why would they
- be stretched out in the...
- 1199
- 00:54:49,446 --> 00:54:51,326
- - God, I don't know.
- - Oh, shit.
- 1200
- 00:54:51,326 --> 00:54:53,819
- How much you think they paid
- for this house?
- 1201
- 00:54:54,395 --> 00:54:55,469
- Whoa.
- 1202
- 00:54:56,466 --> 00:54:57,617
- Oh, okay.
- 1203
- 00:54:57,617 --> 00:54:59,189
- Whoa. Oh!
- 1204
- 00:54:59,189 --> 00:55:00,801
- Should I see if Audrey has
- a yankee candle?
- 1205
- 00:55:00,801 --> 00:55:03,372
- Fuck the yankee candle.
- I wanna do this now.
- 1206
- 00:55:04,713 --> 00:55:06,632
- - Oh, God, you're so sexy.
- - Oh, what has gotten into you?
- 1207
- 00:55:06,632 --> 00:55:08,013
- Oh, my God.
- 1208
- 00:55:08,013 --> 00:55:10,506
- What? What, what, what?
- 1209
- 00:55:10,506 --> 00:55:12,962
- This is because of him,
- isn't it?
- 1210
- 00:55:12,962 --> 00:55:14,457
- What? Who?
- 1211
- 00:55:14,457 --> 00:55:17,028
- Because of who?
- 1212
- 00:55:17,028 --> 00:55:18,179
- Because of Stone.
- 1213
- 00:55:18,179 --> 00:55:19,368
- What?!
- 1214
- 00:55:19,368 --> 00:55:20,749
- That's why
- you're jumping my bones!
- 1215
- 00:55:20,749 --> 00:55:21,823
- You're just thinking of him!
- 1216
- 00:55:21,823 --> 00:55:23,932
- That's ridiculous.
- 1217
- 00:55:23,932 --> 00:55:25,467
- Then how come the one night
- we're hangin' around with him,
- 1218
- 00:55:25,467 --> 00:55:27,424
- you turn into some kind
- of sexual character?
- 1219
- 00:55:27,424 --> 00:55:29,265
- I don't know
- where you're going with this,
- 1220
- 00:55:29,265 --> 00:55:31,144
- but I can tell you right...
- Where's your wedding ring?
- 1221
- 00:55:31,144 --> 00:55:32,871
- Oh. Oh, my God.
- 1222
- 00:55:32,871 --> 00:55:35,134
- Before we got here,
- you took off your wedding ring?
- 1223
- 00:55:35,134 --> 00:55:37,129
- No, I didn't.
- Rusty, it was loose.
- 1224
- 00:55:37,168 --> 00:55:38,970
- You remember how loose it was?
- 1225
- 00:55:38,970 --> 00:55:41,080
- And... and I-I m-must've
- just dropped it somewhere.
- 1226
- 00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:42,768
- What was the plan, Deb?
- 1227
- 00:55:42,768 --> 00:55:44,264
- Show up without a ring,
- and he'll think you're single?
- 1228
- 00:55:44,264 --> 00:55:45,645
- How's he gonna think
- that I'm single
- 1229
- 00:55:45,645 --> 00:55:46,988
- if I'm here with my husband
- and my two children?
- 1230
- 00:55:47,026 --> 00:55:48,292
- I don't know. It was your plan.
- 1231
- 00:55:48,292 --> 00:55:50,670
- It was not my pl... Okay.
- 1232
- 00:55:52,397 --> 00:55:53,509
- Yes.
- 1233
- 00:55:53,509 --> 00:55:57,767
- Stone is an impressive man,
- okay?
- 1234
- 00:55:57,767 --> 00:55:59,647
- But I married you, Rusty.
- 1235
- 00:55:59,647 --> 00:56:01,987
- And I am so sorry
- that I lost my ring,
- 1236
- 00:56:01,987 --> 00:56:06,092
- but I would never, ever,
- ever take it off on purpose.
- 1237
- 00:56:08,776 --> 00:56:09,928
- I know. I know.
- 1238
- 00:56:09,928 --> 00:56:12,843
- I just...
- 1239
- 00:56:12,843 --> 00:56:14,646
- I freaked out. I'm sorry.
- 1240
- 00:56:14,646 --> 00:56:17,025
- I just...
- 1241
- 00:56:17,025 --> 00:56:18,482
- We'll get you another ring.
- 1242
- 00:56:18,482 --> 00:56:20,400
- I liked that one.
- 1243
- 00:56:22,625 --> 00:56:24,544
- Hey. Y'all decent?
- 1244
- 00:56:24,544 --> 00:56:25,579
- - Yes. Hi.
- - Hey.
- 1245
- 00:56:25,579 --> 00:56:27,152
- Okay. Just wanted to make sure
- 1246
- 00:56:27,152 --> 00:56:30,566
- y'all had everything you needed
- for the night.
- 1247
- 00:56:30,566 --> 00:56:32,599
- Yep.
- 1248
- 00:56:32,599 --> 00:56:34,671
- All right.
- 1249
- 00:56:34,671 --> 00:56:38,123
- Man, it sure is beautiful here
- this time of year, ain't it?
- 1250
- 00:56:38,123 --> 00:56:40,003
- And quiet.
- 1251
- 00:56:40,003 --> 00:56:41,883
- Listen.
- 1252
- 00:56:41,883 --> 00:56:44,146
- You hear that?
- 1253
- 00:56:45,565 --> 00:56:47,023
- - No.
- - Exactly.
- 1254
- 00:56:47,023 --> 00:56:48,672
- - It's perfect silence.
- - Mm.
- 1255
- 00:56:48,672 --> 00:56:51,012
- Ah. Yeah.
- 1256
- 00:56:51,012 --> 00:56:52,278
- Yeah.
- 1257
- 00:56:52,278 --> 00:56:56,575
- Well, uh, TV remote.
- Okay, let me show ya.
- 1258
- 00:56:56,575 --> 00:57:00,487
- We've got channels...
- And the volume.
- 1259
- 00:57:00,487 --> 00:57:01,676
- On. Off.
- 1260
- 00:57:01,676 --> 00:57:04,208
- - Pretty straightforward.
- - Yeah.
- 1261
- 00:57:04,208 --> 00:57:05,973
- - Yeah.
- - Mm-hmm.
- 1262
- 00:57:05,973 --> 00:57:07,738
- Okay. All right.
- 1263
- 00:57:07,776 --> 00:57:09,273
- Well, uh, if you get thirsty,
- 1264
- 00:57:09,273 --> 00:57:11,689
- there's, uh,
- fresh milk in the fridge
- 1265
- 00:57:11,689 --> 00:57:14,949
- and, uh, have yourselves
- a good night.
- 1266
- 00:57:14,949 --> 00:57:17,174
- - Uh-huh.
- - Okay.
- 1267
- 00:57:17,174 --> 00:57:19,553
- - Night, Stone.
- - Good night, St-Stone.
- 1268
- 00:57:19,553 --> 00:57:22,622
- Man.
- 1269
- 00:57:22,622 --> 00:57:24,578
- Yeah.
- 1270
- 00:57:26,074 --> 00:57:29,028
- Okay.
- 1271
- 00:57:30,601 --> 00:57:32,519
- He totally just came in here
- 1272
- 00:57:32,519 --> 00:57:34,514
- to show off his six-pack.
- 1273
- 00:57:38,158 --> 00:57:39,884
- Hey, mornin'!
- 1274
- 00:57:39,884 --> 00:57:42,186
- Barely.
- 1275
- 00:57:42,186 --> 00:57:44,104
- How come you gotta do this
- at 6 A.M.?
- 1276
- 00:57:44,104 --> 00:57:46,290
- Well, I gotta be
- at the station by 7:30
- 1277
- 00:57:46,290 --> 00:57:49,590
- for Stone Crandall's
- accuweather report.
- 1278
- 00:57:49,590 --> 00:57:52,198
- Hey, you ever ride
- one of these things?
- 1279
- 00:57:52,198 --> 00:57:54,154
- Mm, no. Never have.
- 1280
- 00:57:54,154 --> 00:57:56,418
- But, uh, can't imagine
- 1281
- 00:57:56,418 --> 00:57:59,026
- it's more complicated
- than an Airbus A318.
- 1282
- 00:57:59,026 --> 00:58:01,942
- Yeah, well, that's the spirit.
- 1283
- 00:58:01,942 --> 00:58:03,438
- Now, the key here
- 1284
- 00:58:03,438 --> 00:58:05,241
- is to move back and forth
- along the edge of the herd.
- 1285
- 00:58:05,241 --> 00:58:07,811
- You keep your distance, though.
- We don't want to spook 'em.
- 1286
- 00:58:07,811 --> 00:58:09,959
- Got it.
- 1287
- 00:58:12,568 --> 00:58:13,910
- Are there helmets?
- 1288
- 00:58:13,910 --> 00:58:16,634
- Yeah, I keep them
- with the tampons.
- 1289
- 00:58:16,634 --> 00:58:19,396
- Just basic safety.
- 1290
- 00:58:19,396 --> 00:58:21,659
- Aah! Whoa!
- 1291
- 00:58:25,879 --> 00:58:27,529
- This is exciting!
- 1292
- 00:58:27,529 --> 00:58:30,828
- It's my favorite way
- to start the day!
- 1293
- 00:58:30,828 --> 00:58:32,516
- This, and makin' love
- to your sister.
- 1294
- 00:58:32,516 --> 00:58:34,511
- Thank you for that.
- 1295
- 00:58:37,963 --> 00:58:41,262
- Come on, let's go!
- 1296
- 00:58:41,262 --> 00:58:43,602
- Well, it looks like
- we got us a couple of mavericks.
- 1297
- 00:58:43,602 --> 00:58:46,786
- You take the one on the left.
- I'll take the one on the right.
- 1298
- 00:58:46,786 --> 00:58:48,627
- Unless you need my help
- with yours.
- 1299
- 00:58:48,627 --> 00:58:50,238
- No, I think I got it.
- 1300
- 00:58:50,238 --> 00:58:52,425
- Last one to the corral's
- a rotten cowpoke!
- 1301
- 00:58:52,425 --> 00:58:54,343
- Yee-Hoo-Hoo!
- 1302
- 00:58:54,343 --> 00:58:56,837
- Whoo-Hoo! Whoo-Hoo!
- 1303
- 00:58:58,448 --> 00:58:59,944
- Go on over there!
- 1304
- 00:58:59,944 --> 00:59:02,246
- Go! Get up! Get up! Get up!
- Let's go!
- 1305
- 00:59:03,780 --> 00:59:05,276
- Whoa!
- 1306
- 00:59:05,276 --> 00:59:07,424
- Oh!
- 1307
- 00:59:12,258 --> 00:59:13,600
- Hi!
- 1308
- 00:59:15,326 --> 00:59:16,324
- Holy shit!
- 1309
- 00:59:17,973 --> 00:59:19,086
- Oh, my gosh!
- 1310
- 00:59:26,029 --> 00:59:27,947
- Is the cow okay?
- 1311
- 00:59:27,947 --> 00:59:30,211
- No, the cow's not okay, Russ.
- You drove plumb through him.
- 1312
- 00:59:31,285 --> 00:59:32,973
- Oh, no, Sebastian.
- 1313
- 00:59:35,121 --> 00:59:36,770
- Gross.
- 1314
- 00:59:50,619 --> 00:59:55,183
- Hey, gang. Uh, maybe for lunch,
- we could find a burger place.
- 1315
- 00:59:55,183 --> 00:59:57,677
- You know, like a, uh...
- 1316
- 00:59:57,677 --> 01:00:00,324
- Like a drive-through
- burger place.
- 1317
- 01:00:02,012 --> 01:00:03,662
- I don't know, Dad.
- 1318
- 01:00:03,662 --> 01:00:07,037
- I think we should, uh,
- steer clear of that.
- 1319
- 01:00:07,037 --> 01:00:09,953
- - Good one, James.
- - All right, enough, you guys.
- 1320
- 01:00:09,991 --> 01:00:13,443
- Dad hit a cow, okay?
- Let's just moo-ve on.
- 1321
- 01:00:15,055 --> 01:00:16,973
- - Oh, I got one.
- - Yeah? Let's hear it.
- 1322
- 01:00:16,973 --> 01:00:19,581
- - James is a piece of shit.
- - Oh.
- 1323
- 01:00:19,581 --> 01:00:22,036
- You kinda missed
- the point, there, buddy.
- 1324
- 01:00:46,549 --> 01:00:49,848
- But you can get back home,
- you can get back down
- 1325
- 01:00:58,824 --> 01:01:00,551
- hey. Hey.
- 1326
- 01:01:00,551 --> 01:01:01,893
- What? What is it? What's wrong?
- 1327
- 01:01:01,893 --> 01:01:03,505
- - Is everything okay?
- - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 1328
- 01:01:03,505 --> 01:01:04,733
- No, no, no. No. No, nothing's wrong.
- Nothing's wrong.
- 1329
- 01:01:04,733 --> 01:01:05,730
- Okay. Well, what?
- 1330
- 01:01:05,730 --> 01:01:07,379
- - I have an idea.
- - Mm-hmm.
- 1331
- 01:01:07,379 --> 01:01:10,218
- And it's gonna sound crazy,
- but hear me out, okay?
- 1332
- 01:01:10,218 --> 01:01:12,711
- - Mm-Kay.
- - Okay.
- 1333
- 01:01:12,711 --> 01:01:15,051
- We're right near
- the four corners monument...
- 1334
- 01:01:15,051 --> 01:01:16,548
- Mm-hmm.
- 1335
- 01:01:16,548 --> 01:01:18,197
- Which is where four states
- come together in one spot.
- 1336
- 01:01:18,197 --> 01:01:20,882
- - So?
- - Let's go have sex on it.
- 1337
- 01:01:20,882 --> 01:01:22,685
- What?
- 1338
- 01:01:23,874 --> 01:01:25,447
- Yeah, that way we can make love
- 1339
- 01:01:25,447 --> 01:01:27,518
- in four states at the same time.
- 1340
- 01:01:27,518 --> 01:01:31,163
- Wait. You're serious?
- 1341
- 01:01:31,163 --> 01:01:32,736
- Well, yeah.
- 1342
- 01:01:32,736 --> 01:01:34,577
- I mean, you're the one who said
- we should mix it up.
- 1343
- 01:01:34,577 --> 01:01:37,761
- Yeah. What's more mixed up
- than sex on a public monument?
- 1344
- 01:01:38,950 --> 01:01:40,983
- I'm pretty sure
- Debbie do-anything would do it.
- 1345
- 01:01:40,983 --> 01:01:43,323
- Okay, well, Debbie do-anything
- was a dumbass, so...
- 1346
- 01:01:43,323 --> 01:01:48,540
- Maybe that's what we need.
- To be dumbasses together.
- 1347
- 01:01:48,540 --> 01:01:50,804
- What about the kids?
- 1348
- 01:01:50,804 --> 01:01:52,684
- Well, Kevin's kind of a dumbass.
- 1349
- 01:01:52,684 --> 01:01:56,213
- No, no, honey.
- What are we gonna do about them?
- 1350
- 01:01:56,251 --> 01:01:58,745
- They're fine.
- They're fast asleep.
- 1351
- 01:01:58,745 --> 01:02:01,814
- We'll be back
- before they know we're gone.
- 1352
- 01:02:01,814 --> 01:02:02,964
- Okay.
- 1353
- 01:02:02,964 --> 01:02:04,844
- - Yeah?
- - All right, let's do it.
- 1354
- 01:02:21,224 --> 01:02:22,413
- Mom?
- 1355
- 01:02:23,334 --> 01:02:25,060
- Dad?
- 1356
- 01:02:29,894 --> 01:02:31,774
- - James?
- - Mom?
- 1357
- 01:02:33,385 --> 01:02:34,766
- Adena?
- 1358
- 01:02:34,766 --> 01:02:36,683
- Are you, like,
- stalking me or something?
- 1359
- 01:02:36,683 --> 01:02:38,947
- No. What? No.
- 1360
- 01:02:38,947 --> 01:02:42,169
- I'm kidding. Relax.
- 1361
- 01:02:44,893 --> 01:02:47,003
- Hey, what happened
- with that perv
- 1362
- 01:02:47,003 --> 01:02:49,496
- who was hitting on you
- in Arkansas?
- 1363
- 01:02:50,609 --> 01:02:53,256
- That was actually my Dad.
- 1364
- 01:02:53,256 --> 01:02:55,557
- He was trying to be my Wingman.
- 1365
- 01:02:55,557 --> 01:02:58,741
- Oh, my God.
- 1366
- 01:02:58,741 --> 01:03:01,848
- He's a really shitty Wingman.
- 1367
- 01:03:04,227 --> 01:03:07,219
- So, no guitar tonight?
- 1368
- 01:03:07,219 --> 01:03:09,406
- It got stolen.
- 1369
- 01:03:09,406 --> 01:03:11,899
- That sucks.
- 1370
- 01:03:11,899 --> 01:03:13,357
- I really liked hearing you play.
- 1371
- 01:03:13,357 --> 01:03:16,273
- You... you did?
- 1372
- 01:03:16,273 --> 01:03:19,072
- Yeah, I've always
- had a thing for musicians.
- 1373
- 01:03:21,604 --> 01:03:23,906
- Well, good...
- 1374
- 01:03:23,906 --> 01:03:27,512
- Because I've always
- had a thing for...
- 1375
- 01:03:27,512 --> 01:03:29,852
- Pretty girls.
- 1376
- 01:03:32,077 --> 01:03:33,534
- Well played.
- 1377
- 01:03:35,529 --> 01:03:37,946
- See? You don't need a Wingman.
- 1378
- 01:03:46,309 --> 01:03:47,767
- Here it is.
- 1379
- 01:03:47,767 --> 01:03:49,148
- Oh, my God.
- 1380
- 01:03:49,148 --> 01:03:50,337
- This is so illegal.
- 1381
- 01:03:50,337 --> 01:03:52,179
- I know. It's so hot, right?
- 1382
- 01:03:52,179 --> 01:03:54,556
- Yeah.
- I am hard as a faucet right now.
- 1383
- 01:03:55,554 --> 01:03:56,590
- Oh!
- 1384
- 01:03:56,590 --> 01:03:57,971
- I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- 1385
- 01:03:57,971 --> 01:03:59,122
- No. I like it.
- 1386
- 01:03:59,122 --> 01:04:00,119
- - Yeah?
- - Yeah.
- 1387
- 01:04:00,119 --> 01:04:01,347
- - Yeah?
- - I do.
- 1388
- 01:04:01,347 --> 01:04:02,421
- You like it
- when I slap that ass?
- 1389
- 01:04:02,459 --> 01:04:04,262
- I do! I do!
- 1390
- 01:04:04,262 --> 01:04:06,141
- Good, 'cause I'm gonna beat
- the shit out of your ass.
- 1391
- 01:04:06,141 --> 01:04:07,945
- Whoa! Russ!
- 1392
- 01:04:07,945 --> 01:04:10,131
- Okay, right here?
- 1393
- 01:04:14,696 --> 01:04:15,924
- We're about to have sex outside!
- 1394
- 01:04:15,924 --> 01:04:17,650
- I know. I know.
- 1395
- 01:04:17,650 --> 01:04:19,299
- Do you want me
- to put a finger in?
- 1396
- 01:04:19,299 --> 01:04:20,488
- In what?
- 1397
- 01:04:20,488 --> 01:04:21,640
- - Never mind. Never mind.
- - Okay, okay.
- 1398
- 01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:23,020
- Y'all wanna keep it down?
- 1399
- 01:04:23,020 --> 01:04:24,593
- - Aah!
- - Yeah! Yeah!
- 1400
- 01:04:24,593 --> 01:04:26,281
- Hey, watch it, man!
- 1401
- 01:04:26,281 --> 01:04:28,928
- - Get your leg off of me!
- - You're so slippery and sweaty!
- 1402
- 01:04:28,928 --> 01:04:31,115
- If y'all are here to have sex
- on the corners, we're next.
- 1403
- 01:04:31,115 --> 01:04:32,112
- Get in line.
- 1404
- 01:04:32,112 --> 01:04:33,761
- - Oh, my gosh.
- - Oh, God.
- 1405
- 01:04:33,761 --> 01:04:35,756
- Oh, God.
- 1406
- 01:04:35,756 --> 01:04:37,406
- - Aah!
- - Oh!
- 1407
- 01:04:37,406 --> 01:04:39,822
- - Oh, God!
- - Ew!
- 1408
- 01:04:39,822 --> 01:04:42,316
- Oh, God! They're in every state!
- 1409
- 01:04:42,316 --> 01:04:43,927
- So many boobies out here!
- 1410
- 01:04:43,927 --> 01:04:45,194
- You two! Freeze!
- 1411
- 01:04:45,194 --> 01:04:46,996
- Go, go, go, go, go!
- 1412
- 01:04:47,035 --> 01:04:48,071
- Hands up!
- 1413
- 01:04:48,071 --> 01:04:50,218
- Run! Honey, run!
- 1414
- 01:04:50,218 --> 01:04:51,522
- Drop the flashlight!
- 1415
- 01:04:52,520 --> 01:04:54,477
- You do know public indecency
- 1416
- 01:04:54,477 --> 01:04:56,663
- is a crime in the state of Utah?
- 1417
- 01:04:56,663 --> 01:04:58,083
- Yes. Sorry, officer.
- 1418
- 01:04:58,083 --> 01:04:59,693
- See, we're married,
- and we wanted to just...
- 1419
- 01:04:59,693 --> 01:05:01,075
- You know what?
- Save it for the judge.
- 1420
- 01:05:01,075 --> 01:05:03,185
- It makes me sick
- how you deviants show up
- 1421
- 01:05:03,185 --> 01:05:05,525
- and desecrate this holy place
- every night.
- 1422
- 01:05:05,525 --> 01:05:07,366
- Turn around!
- Hands behind your back.
- 1423
- 01:05:07,366 --> 01:05:08,363
- What?
- 1424
- 01:05:08,363 --> 01:05:10,128
- Not so fast, Tommy!
- 1425
- 01:05:10,128 --> 01:05:11,432
- Shoot for sherbet!
- 1426
- 01:05:11,432 --> 01:05:12,890
- What are you doin' here, Kyle?
- 1427
- 01:05:12,890 --> 01:05:14,923
- These people are clearly
- in the state of Colorado.
- 1428
- 01:05:14,961 --> 01:05:16,458
- That's my jurisdiction.
- 1429
- 01:05:16,458 --> 01:05:18,299
- Juris-dick in my ass, Kyle.
- 1430
- 01:05:18,299 --> 01:05:21,291
- Look at her left foot.
- Smack-dab in Arizona.
- 1431
- 01:05:21,291 --> 01:05:24,206
- You weed-legalizing,
- mile-high piece of shit.
- 1432
- 01:05:24,206 --> 01:05:25,894
- Hey, there's no reason
- for that language.
- 1433
- 01:05:25,894 --> 01:05:27,505
- Oh, I'm sorry, officer mormon.
- 1434
- 01:05:27,505 --> 01:05:29,385
- You don't like that?
- I have an idea.
- 1435
- 01:05:29,385 --> 01:05:31,610
- Why don't you plug up your ears
- with mitt romney's dick?
- 1436
- 01:05:31,610 --> 01:05:32,722
- Hey!
- 1437
- 01:05:32,722 --> 01:05:35,062
- Oh, looks like New Mexico
- 1438
- 01:05:35,062 --> 01:05:36,866
- decided to wake up
- from his siesta.
- 1439
- 01:05:36,866 --> 01:05:38,246
- What seems to be the trouble?
- 1440
- 01:05:38,246 --> 01:05:39,858
- Tell you what the trouble is,
- dreamcatcher.
- 1441
- 01:05:39,858 --> 01:05:42,159
- You are wearing entirely
- too much goddamn turquoise.
- 1442
- 01:05:42,159 --> 01:05:43,540
- Hey, we can do this
- 1443
- 01:05:43,540 --> 01:05:44,959
- without disrespecting
- each other's traditions.
- 1444
- 01:05:44,959 --> 01:05:47,492
- Oh, go fuck your wives, Tommy.
- 1445
- 01:05:47,492 --> 01:05:49,026
- See, this is what
- I'm telling you guys.
- 1446
- 01:05:49,026 --> 01:05:50,292
- Every night we do this.
- 1447
- 01:05:50,330 --> 01:05:52,095
- You know what
- this border represents?
- 1448
- 01:05:52,095 --> 01:05:54,166
- It's just an idea.
- That's all I'm saying.
- 1449
- 01:05:54,166 --> 01:05:55,394
- All right, well,
- if it's just an idea,
- 1450
- 01:05:55,394 --> 01:05:56,506
- then I'll just get the perp...
- 1451
- 01:05:56,506 --> 01:05:57,887
- - My house!
- - Oh!
- 1452
- 01:05:57,887 --> 01:05:59,384
- - Hey!
- - Stay out of my state, buddy.
- 1453
- 01:05:59,384 --> 01:06:01,033
- Oh, yeah?
- What are you gonna do now?
- 1454
- 01:06:01,033 --> 01:06:02,184
- - Get your feet off of my state!
- - Hey, come on, now.
- 1455
- 01:06:02,184 --> 01:06:03,680
- You wanna stomp on my foot?
- 1456
- 01:06:03,680 --> 01:06:05,176
- - You back... you back...
- - Is that what you want?
- 1457
- 01:06:05,176 --> 01:06:06,557
- - Stay out of this.
- - Hey, I wasn't even in it!
- 1458
- 01:06:06,557 --> 01:06:08,245
- Whoa! Don't you kick in here!
- 1459
- 01:06:08,245 --> 01:06:09,702
- - Don't start...
- - You wanna do that again?
- 1460
- 01:06:09,702 --> 01:06:10,777
- How about this, then? Huh? Huh?
- 1461
- 01:06:10,777 --> 01:06:12,196
- - Oh!
- - Oh, we got a live wire!
- 1462
- 01:06:12,196 --> 01:06:14,421
- - Oh, shit! Aw, shit!
- - We got a live weapon!
- 1463
- 01:06:14,421 --> 01:06:15,802
- Ooh. Ooh.
- You think I'm afraid of that shit?
- 1464
- 01:06:15,802 --> 01:06:17,529
- I'm not afraid of you!
- 1465
- 01:06:17,529 --> 01:06:19,561
- - How about that, huh? Huh?
- - Oh, yeah, like I'm afraid?
- 1466
- 01:06:19,561 --> 01:06:21,632
- - Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- 1467
- 01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:24,203
- Are we gonna...
- I don't want it in my mouth.
- 1468
- 01:06:24,203 --> 01:06:25,239
- Let's not do that, okay?
- 1469
- 01:06:25,239 --> 01:06:27,234
- I'll take that all in, dude!
- 1470
- 01:06:27,234 --> 01:06:29,036
- - That's enough! Everyone get down!
- - Get down on the ground!
- 1471
- 01:06:29,036 --> 01:06:30,609
- Everyone down on the ground!
- Get down!
- 1472
- 01:06:30,609 --> 01:06:32,028
- - Get down on the ground!
- - You get down!
- 1473
- 01:06:32,028 --> 01:06:33,180
- - Get down!
- - I'm cooperating!
- 1474
- 01:06:33,180 --> 01:06:34,675
- I'm the one who's cooperating!
- 1475
- 01:06:34,675 --> 01:06:36,248
- You get down, too.
- You get down, too.
- 1476
- 01:06:36,248 --> 01:06:37,706
- Get down on the ground!
- 1477
- 01:06:37,706 --> 01:06:39,356
- - Hands where?
- - Hands on your right side!
- 1478
- 01:06:39,356 --> 01:06:40,890
- - By the sides or in front?
- - Side to side. Side to side.
- 1479
- 01:06:40,890 --> 01:06:42,578
- - Let's do this.
- - Everyone down?
- 1480
- 01:06:42,578 --> 01:06:44,803
- Okay. I think I'm done.
- 1481
- 01:06:49,752 --> 01:06:53,127
- You can really see
- all the stars out here.
- 1482
- 01:06:53,127 --> 01:06:54,624
- Yeah.
- 1483
- 01:06:56,695 --> 01:06:59,572
- So...
- What do you feel like doing?
- 1484
- 01:06:59,611 --> 01:07:02,756
- I don't know.
- 1485
- 01:07:07,282 --> 01:07:09,623
- Ca...
- 1486
- 01:07:09,661 --> 01:07:11,809
- Can I give you a rim job?
- 1487
- 01:07:14,034 --> 01:07:15,300
- - Whoa!
- - No.
- 1488
- 01:07:15,300 --> 01:07:17,755
- Uh, what?!
- 1489
- 01:07:17,755 --> 01:07:19,289
- - I don't know.
- - What's wrong with you?
- 1490
- 01:07:19,289 --> 01:07:20,901
- I don't know. I'm sorry.
- 1491
- 01:07:20,901 --> 01:07:22,818
- What did...
- What did you wanna do?
- 1492
- 01:07:22,818 --> 01:07:24,276
- I don't know.
- 1493
- 01:07:24,276 --> 01:07:27,653
- I thought maybe we could
- kiss or something?
- 1494
- 01:07:27,653 --> 01:07:29,915
- Well, yeah,
- that's what I thought I...
- 1495
- 01:07:29,915 --> 01:07:31,871
- Yeah. Okay.
- 1496
- 01:07:35,939 --> 01:07:37,511
- Ow!
- 1497
- 01:07:37,549 --> 01:07:39,199
- Where's Mom and Dad, dork?
- 1498
- 01:07:39,199 --> 01:07:41,309
- I don't know, Kevin.
- Just go back inside the thing.
- 1499
- 01:07:41,309 --> 01:07:43,572
- You were about to let
- that dingus kiss you?
- 1500
- 01:07:43,572 --> 01:07:45,413
- Shut up, Kevin.
- 1501
- 01:07:45,413 --> 01:07:48,175
- - Who is that?
- - My stupid little brother.
- 1502
- 01:07:48,175 --> 01:07:50,592
- I thought you said
- he was your big brother.
- 1503
- 01:07:50,631 --> 01:07:51,666
- I... damn it!
- 1504
- 01:07:51,666 --> 01:07:52,970
- Dingus.
- 1505
- 01:07:52,970 --> 01:07:54,658
- Why do you take that from him?
- 1506
- 01:07:54,658 --> 01:07:56,231
- What am I supposed to do,
- hit him back?
- 1507
- 01:07:56,231 --> 01:07:58,303
- - He's a little kid.
- - He's a little shit.
- 1508
- 01:07:58,303 --> 01:07:59,799
- You don't have to let him
- push you around.
- 1509
- 01:07:59,799 --> 01:08:03,174
- I kinda thought I was taking
- the high road.
- 1510
- 01:08:03,174 --> 01:08:06,167
- Yeah, that seems
- to be working out for you.
- 1511
- 01:08:07,893 --> 01:08:08,890
- You know what?
- 1512
- 01:08:11,997 --> 01:08:13,954
- Fuck it.
- 1513
- 01:08:14,990 --> 01:08:17,521
- Okay, so you wanna do this now?
- 1514
- 01:08:17,521 --> 01:08:19,516
- Bring it, bitch.
- 1515
- 01:08:20,667 --> 01:08:22,470
- Wait, what?!
- 1516
- 01:08:22,470 --> 01:08:23,774
- No, no, no.
- 1517
- 01:08:24,771 --> 01:08:26,114
- Wow. This is so easy.
- 1518
- 01:08:26,114 --> 01:08:28,378
- You are such a little boy.
- 1519
- 01:08:29,989 --> 01:08:31,600
- There's gonna be a few changes,
- Kevin, all right?
- 1520
- 01:08:31,600 --> 01:08:32,674
- No more bullying.
- 1521
- 01:08:32,674 --> 01:08:34,515
- Stop it! I'm telling Mom.
- 1522
- 01:08:34,515 --> 01:08:36,510
- Shut your mouth.
- You gonna stop bullying?
- 1523
- 01:08:36,510 --> 01:08:38,237
- You're hurting my tummy!
- 1524
- 01:08:38,237 --> 01:08:41,727
- Say you're gonna stop,
- you little piece of... ass.
- 1525
- 01:08:41,727 --> 01:08:43,952
- Wait, what? "Piece of ass"?
- 1526
- 01:08:43,952 --> 01:08:45,372
- You know what I mean, okay?
- 1527
- 01:08:45,372 --> 01:08:47,673
- What... what are you doing
- to my face?
- 1528
- 01:08:47,673 --> 01:08:49,285
- - This hurts, doesn't it?
- - Dude!
- 1529
- 01:08:49,285 --> 01:08:51,241
- How do you like your ears
- Gettin' messed up with?
- 1530
- 01:08:51,241 --> 01:08:52,814
- It's really not that bad.
- 1531
- 01:08:52,814 --> 01:08:54,425
- I'mma tap you
- right on the forehead.
- 1532
- 01:08:54,425 --> 01:08:56,228
- That's not even
- how you beat someone up!
- 1533
- 01:08:56,228 --> 01:08:57,724
- Very dehumanizing.
- 1534
- 01:08:57,762 --> 01:08:59,757
- Your forehead's
- gonna be so sore.
- 1535
- 01:08:59,757 --> 01:09:01,944
- - Blblbl! Blblbl!
- - Stop it! What are you doing?!
- 1536
- 01:09:01,944 --> 01:09:03,708
- How do you like your lips
- getting tickled?
- 1537
- 01:09:03,708 --> 01:09:05,319
- This is really weird.
- 1538
- 01:09:05,319 --> 01:09:07,237
- Just smush your cheeks.
- 1539
- 01:09:07,237 --> 01:09:09,769
- - You gonna stop bullying?
- - Fine. I'll stop bullying.
- 1540
- 01:09:09,808 --> 01:09:11,227
- Just stop doing this.
- 1541
- 01:09:13,490 --> 01:09:14,795
- Thank you, Adena.
- 1542
- 01:09:14,795 --> 01:09:16,406
- This has been...
- 1543
- 01:09:16,406 --> 01:09:18,017
- The best night of my life.
- 1544
- 01:09:23,733 --> 01:09:25,957
- Weird fucking family.
- 1545
- 01:09:27,876 --> 01:09:30,216
- Well, that was awful.
- 1546
- 01:09:32,556 --> 01:09:35,318
- At least the kids never woke up.
- 1547
- 01:09:44,179 --> 01:09:46,404
- Uh, passengers on
- the left side of the prancer
- 1548
- 01:09:46,404 --> 01:09:49,588
- will notice the Grand Canyon
- out the window.
- 1549
- 01:09:49,588 --> 01:09:53,003
- That's right.
- Last stop before walley world.
- 1550
- 01:10:04,357 --> 01:10:06,122
- So, guys,
- 1551
- 01:10:06,122 --> 01:10:09,190
- when we visited the Grand Canyon
- when I was a kid,
- 1552
- 01:10:09,190 --> 01:10:11,224
- we barely had a chance
- to look at it.
- 1553
- 01:10:11,224 --> 01:10:13,487
- This time...
- 1554
- 01:10:13,487 --> 01:10:15,981
- We're gonna do
- a whole lot more than look.
- 1555
- 01:10:15,981 --> 01:10:19,586
- - Oh, cool.
- - Sweet!
- 1556
- 01:10:23,039 --> 01:10:24,689
- Hi, folks!
- 1557
- 01:10:24,689 --> 01:10:26,299
- Hi!
- 1558
- 01:10:26,299 --> 01:10:28,333
- All right, let's see,
- who do we got here?
- 1559
- 01:10:28,333 --> 01:10:31,708
- You must be the fung family!
- 1560
- 01:10:31,708 --> 01:10:32,782
- Huh?
- 1561
- 01:10:34,010 --> 01:10:35,007
- I'm just messing!
- 1562
- 01:10:35,007 --> 01:10:36,197
- You're the Griswolds, right?
- 1563
- 01:10:36,197 --> 01:10:37,732
- Yes, that's right.
- 1564
- 01:10:37,732 --> 01:10:39,266
- Right.
- 1565
- 01:10:39,266 --> 01:10:41,720
- The little guy's face was like,
- "fungs? Huh?!"
- 1566
- 01:10:43,600 --> 01:10:46,018
- Anyway, I'm Chad.
- I'm gonna be your guide.
- 1567
- 01:10:46,055 --> 01:10:47,513
- - Okay. Hi, Chad.
- - All right.
- 1568
- 01:10:47,513 --> 01:10:49,547
- Well you couldn't have come
- on a better day.
- 1569
- 01:10:49,547 --> 01:10:51,042
- I'm gonna get you all geared up.
- 1570
- 01:10:51,042 --> 01:10:53,037
- And, guess what,
- the river's running way high,
- 1571
- 01:10:53,076 --> 01:10:55,339
- so I think we're in for
- a pretty sweet ride, guys.
- 1572
- 01:10:55,339 --> 01:10:57,180
- - Let's roll.
- - All right.
- 1573
- 01:10:57,180 --> 01:10:58,791
- Let's do this.
- 1574
- 01:10:58,791 --> 01:11:00,671
- Okay, gang, joke time is over.
- 1575
- 01:11:00,671 --> 01:11:01,899
- All right,
- let's get serious for a second.
- 1576
- 01:11:01,899 --> 01:11:03,318
- Let's go over a couple
- safety procedures
- 1577
- 01:11:03,318 --> 01:11:04,814
- before we hit the water.
- 1578
- 01:11:04,814 --> 01:11:06,656
- First off...
- Do any of you know this river?
- 1579
- 01:11:06,656 --> 01:11:08,688
- 'Cause this is actually
- my first time.
- 1580
- 01:11:10,261 --> 01:11:11,259
- I'm kidding.
- 1581
- 01:11:12,793 --> 01:11:14,711
- Been doing this
- about three and a half years.
- 1582
- 01:11:14,749 --> 01:11:16,399
- Know the river inside and out,
- okay?
- 1583
- 01:11:16,399 --> 01:11:18,893
- Uh, got my guide certificate
- from a cracker Jack box.
- 1584
- 01:11:20,235 --> 01:11:22,000
- That's a joke.
- Guys, it's a joke.
- 1585
- 01:11:22,000 --> 01:11:24,417
- See the little kid's face?
- He's all, "a cracker Jack box?"
- 1586
- 01:11:24,417 --> 01:11:27,217
- A what?!"
- 1587
- 01:11:27,217 --> 01:11:29,097
- All you gotta do is follow
- my instructions out there.
- 1588
- 01:11:29,097 --> 01:11:31,475
- And we got a 50-50 chance
- of coming back alive.
- 1589
- 01:11:33,048 --> 01:11:34,697
- I'm kidding, guys.
- 1590
- 01:11:34,697 --> 01:11:36,193
- See the little kid's face,
- he's all,
- 1591
- 01:11:36,193 --> 01:11:38,917
- "I'm coming back alive!
- I don't wanna die!"
- 1592
- 01:11:40,259 --> 01:11:42,062
- Uh, sorry, hang on a second.
- 1593
- 01:11:42,062 --> 01:11:43,444
- I-I'm getting a call
- from my fiancée here.
- 1594
- 01:11:43,444 --> 01:11:45,093
- Actually, just got engaged
- two weeks ago,
- 1595
- 01:11:45,093 --> 01:11:46,743
- so I think I'm gonna take this
- 1596
- 01:11:46,743 --> 01:11:48,623
- or the river's not gonna be
- the only hot water I'm in today.
- 1597
- 01:11:48,623 --> 01:11:52,075
- River's actually very cold.
- 1598
- 01:11:52,075 --> 01:11:53,149
- Hey, boo.
- 1599
- 01:11:54,108 --> 01:11:55,105
- Wow.
- 1600
- 01:11:55,105 --> 01:11:56,103
- This is awesome.
- 1601
- 01:11:56,103 --> 01:11:57,561
- We're about to set sail
- 1602
- 01:11:57,561 --> 01:12:00,169
- through one of America's
- greatest aquatic treasures.
- 1603
- 01:12:00,169 --> 01:12:02,470
- - Kevin, don't hit your brother.
- - I didn't.
- 1604
- 01:12:03,775 --> 01:12:05,117
- You heard what he said about
- 1605
- 01:12:05,117 --> 01:12:06,844
- the aquatic treasures
- and everything, right?
- 1606
- 01:12:06,844 --> 01:12:09,146
- - Yeah.
- - And you didn't wanna hit him?
- 1607
- 01:12:11,256 --> 01:12:13,135
- - Hmm, well, that's progress.
- - Wow.
- 1608
- 01:12:13,135 --> 01:12:16,895
- I don't understand, though.
- Like, what are you even saying?
- 1609
- 01:12:16,895 --> 01:12:18,390
- But j-just like that?!
- 1610
- 01:12:18,390 --> 01:12:20,884
- I-I love you! You love me!
- 1611
- 01:12:20,884 --> 01:12:22,456
- Tanya, please!
- 1612
- 01:12:22,456 --> 01:12:24,375
- Please, just let's think
- about this for a second, honey.
- 1613
- 01:12:24,375 --> 01:12:25,564
- You're all that I have
- in this world!
- 1614
- 01:12:25,564 --> 01:12:28,901
- Tanya, no, babe. No, Tanya! No!
- 1615
- 01:12:28,901 --> 01:12:31,472
- Please don't hang up!
- No! No! Goddamn it!
- 1616
- 01:12:51,765 --> 01:12:53,798
- Who's ready to go on the river?
- 1617
- 01:12:53,798 --> 01:12:56,752
- Um, are you okay, Chad?
- 1618
- 01:12:56,752 --> 01:12:58,478
- Oh, yeah!
- 1619
- 01:12:58,478 --> 01:13:00,818
- Turns out,
- I'm not engaged anymore.
- 1620
- 01:13:00,818 --> 01:13:02,161
- So...
- 1621
- 01:13:03,886 --> 01:13:05,651
- All aboard.
- 1622
- 01:13:06,879 --> 01:13:08,413
- I don't know about this, Russ.
- 1623
- 01:13:08,413 --> 01:13:12,020
- Oh, come on. He's kidding.
- 1624
- 01:14:52,756 --> 01:14:54,098
- What?
- 1625
- 01:14:54,098 --> 01:14:56,208
- We're a day away
- from walley world.
- 1626
- 01:14:56,208 --> 01:14:59,085
- Dad, I don't think any of us
- really care about Walley World.
- 1627
- 01:14:59,085 --> 01:15:00,389
- The boys are right, Russ.
- 1628
- 01:15:00,389 --> 01:15:02,231
- I mean,
- we almost died back there.
- 1629
- 01:15:02,231 --> 01:15:04,686
- I mean, isn't it time
- that we just cut our losses?
- 1630
- 01:15:04,686 --> 01:15:07,908
- I cannot believe
- what I'm hearing.
- 1631
- 01:15:07,908 --> 01:15:09,826
- I... oh. Oh, my God!
- 1632
- 01:15:10,939 --> 01:15:12,204
- Huh? All right.
- 1633
- 01:15:12,204 --> 01:15:13,509
- That has to be a sign, right?
- 1634
- 01:15:13,509 --> 01:15:15,235
- We were meant
- to finish this trip.
- 1635
- 01:15:15,235 --> 01:15:17,690
- Come on, guys,
- everybody sing it with me.
- 1636
- 01:15:25,669 --> 01:15:27,011
- - We're losing the station, Russ.
- - We're not losing anything.
- 1637
- 01:15:27,011 --> 01:15:28,354
- Yes, we are, just...
- 1638
- 01:15:28,354 --> 01:15:30,848
- We just have to listen
- a little harder!
- 1639
- 01:15:33,993 --> 01:15:34,991
- Okay, no, no, no.
- 1640
- 01:15:34,991 --> 01:15:35,949
- It's gone. It's gone.
- 1641
- 01:15:35,949 --> 01:15:37,407
- - Just let it go!
- - Fine!
- 1642
- 01:15:37,407 --> 01:15:39,748
- Just thought
- we could all sing seal together
- 1643
- 01:15:39,748 --> 01:15:41,014
- like normal families do.
- 1644
- 01:15:41,014 --> 01:15:43,123
- Ah, crap!
- 1645
- 01:15:43,123 --> 01:15:44,198
- Now what?
- 1646
- 01:15:44,198 --> 01:15:45,233
- We're almost out of gas.
- 1647
- 01:15:45,233 --> 01:15:47,535
- Oh, my God.
- 1648
- 01:15:47,535 --> 01:15:49,185
- It's all right.
- 1649
- 01:15:49,185 --> 01:15:51,448
- I'm sure we will find
- a place to fill up around here
- 1650
- 01:15:51,448 --> 01:15:52,675
- before we run out.
- 1651
- 01:15:54,171 --> 01:15:58,353
- Ugh. Man. No signal at all.
- 1652
- 01:16:00,040 --> 01:16:02,150
- Wonder if the prancer
- has roadside assistance.
- 1653
- 01:16:02,150 --> 01:16:05,181
- How would we even call them?
- 1654
- 01:16:05,181 --> 01:16:06,677
- Maybe it's one of the buttons
- on the fob.
- 1655
- 01:16:06,677 --> 01:16:08,710
- Seriously? You're gonna keep
- pressing buttons?
- 1656
- 01:16:08,710 --> 01:16:10,513
- Well,
- we never tried the top hat.
- 1657
- 01:16:10,513 --> 01:16:11,894
- Oh, geez.
- 1658
- 01:16:12,892 --> 01:16:14,043
- Oh, my God!
- 1659
- 01:16:15,692 --> 01:16:17,303
- Well, now we know
- what the top hat does.
- 1660
- 01:16:18,569 --> 01:16:20,257
- I'm not gonna do the swastika.
- 1661
- 01:16:20,257 --> 01:16:22,942
- All that's left is the muffin.
- 1662
- 01:16:24,745 --> 01:16:26,088
- Come on, muffin.
- 1663
- 01:16:28,812 --> 01:16:30,001
- - What?
- - It started!
- 1664
- 01:16:30,001 --> 01:16:31,497
- - Yes!
- - All right!
- 1665
- 01:16:31,497 --> 01:16:34,029
- Oh! Must be the extra gas tank.
- 1666
- 01:16:34,029 --> 01:16:35,333
- - Right?
- - Oh! The muffin!
- 1667
- 01:16:35,333 --> 01:16:37,174
- Dad to the rescue!
- 1668
- 01:16:37,174 --> 01:16:38,823
- - Thank God.
- - Wait, where's it going?
- 1669
- 01:16:38,823 --> 01:16:40,166
- Wait! Wait a minute!
- 1670
- 01:16:40,166 --> 01:16:42,085
- Make it... Make it stop!
- 1671
- 01:16:42,085 --> 01:16:44,463
- I don't know how!
- I'll hit the muffin again!
- 1672
- 01:17:04,948 --> 01:17:06,405
- All right. We can handle this.
- 1673
- 01:17:06,405 --> 01:17:08,400
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Please don't say that.
- 1674
- 01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:11,200
- Do not say that we can
- handle this, Russ.
- 1675
- 01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:12,389
- - Okay?
- - We can.
- 1676
- 01:17:12,389 --> 01:17:14,499
- No, we can't! We can't!
- 1677
- 01:17:14,499 --> 01:17:17,108
- From the moment we left
- for this trip,
- 1678
- 01:17:17,108 --> 01:17:18,604
- nothing has gone right.
- 1679
- 01:17:18,604 --> 01:17:21,021
- Can you please just admit
- that this was a mistake?
- 1680
- 01:17:22,670 --> 01:17:24,397
- But it wasn't. Right?
- 1681
- 01:17:24,397 --> 01:17:25,432
- We all wanted to go.
- 1682
- 01:17:25,432 --> 01:17:26,506
- - I didn't.
- - Me neither.
- 1683
- 01:17:26,506 --> 01:17:27,811
- No. Me neither.
- 1684
- 01:17:27,811 --> 01:17:28,924
- You wanted to go.
- 1685
- 01:17:28,924 --> 01:17:30,265
- All right, I think tempers
- 1686
- 01:17:30,304 --> 01:17:32,030
- are getting a little hot
- right now.
- 1687
- 01:17:32,030 --> 01:17:33,143
- We just have to, uh...
- 1688
- 01:17:34,255 --> 01:17:36,327
- We just all have to...
- 1689
- 01:17:38,744 --> 01:17:40,355
- Fuck me!
- 1690
- 01:17:40,355 --> 01:17:41,774
- I give up!
- 1691
- 01:17:41,774 --> 01:17:43,462
- All I wanted to do
- was take my fuckin' family
- 1692
- 01:17:43,462 --> 01:17:45,265
- on a fuckin' trip
- to walley world
- 1693
- 01:17:45,265 --> 01:17:47,106
- and ride
- the fucking velociraptor!
- 1694
- 01:17:47,106 --> 01:17:50,290
- Ow! There's a rock in that.
- 1695
- 01:17:52,209 --> 01:17:53,743
- I guess I'm the asshole
- 1696
- 01:17:53,743 --> 01:17:55,584
- for trying to bring my family
- closer together, right?
- 1697
- 01:17:55,584 --> 01:17:56,812
- What do I get?
- 1698
- 01:17:56,812 --> 01:17:58,039
- Kids who don't wanna be with me,
- 1699
- 01:17:58,039 --> 01:17:59,190
- and a wife who's miserable.
- 1700
- 01:17:59,190 --> 01:18:00,955
- - Russ.
- - Oh, come on, Debbie.
- 1701
- 01:18:00,955 --> 01:18:03,141
- You know it's true.
- You think you settled for me.
- 1702
- 01:18:03,141 --> 01:18:05,443
- You think I'm a loser
- regional pilot.
- 1703
- 01:18:05,443 --> 01:18:07,016
- Well, guess what?
- 1704
- 01:18:07,016 --> 01:18:09,739
- I get offers from international
- carriers all the time,
- 1705
- 01:18:09,739 --> 01:18:10,928
- and I turn them down.
- 1706
- 01:18:10,928 --> 01:18:12,080
- Why?
- 1707
- 01:18:12,080 --> 01:18:13,422
- Because I don't wanna be away
- 1708
- 01:18:13,422 --> 01:18:14,879
- from you and the kids that long.
- 1709
- 01:18:14,879 --> 01:18:16,452
- I'm an idiot!
- 1710
- 01:18:16,452 --> 01:18:18,601
- I should take one of those jobs
- 1711
- 01:18:18,601 --> 01:18:21,171
- and fly off
- to the Pyramids of Zambezi
- 1712
- 01:18:21,171 --> 01:18:24,853
- and the lost gardens
- of wherever the fuck!
- 1713
- 01:18:24,853 --> 01:18:26,772
- Just forget it.
- 1714
- 01:18:26,772 --> 01:18:30,071
- Forget this whole, stupid trip.
- 1715
- 01:18:30,071 --> 01:18:31,759
- You people are on your own.
- 1716
- 01:18:31,759 --> 01:18:34,176
- I'm sure you'll find
- a better husband and father.
- 1717
- 01:18:34,176 --> 01:18:37,359
- A cowboy with a huge six-pack
- 1718
- 01:18:37,359 --> 01:18:42,462
- who will take you to Paris
- and wrestling and... to books.
- 1719
- 01:18:42,462 --> 01:18:44,034
- What...
- 1720
- 01:18:45,146 --> 01:18:46,259
- Wait, where are you going?
- 1721
- 01:18:46,259 --> 01:18:48,790
- Fuck if I know!
- 1722
- 01:18:48,790 --> 01:18:51,246
- Ow! God!
- 1723
- 01:18:51,284 --> 01:18:54,353
- These tumbleweeds are all filled
- with things that are hard!
- 1724
- 01:19:02,754 --> 01:19:03,790
- What the...
- 1725
- 01:19:11,155 --> 01:19:13,189
- Oh, no.
- 1726
- 01:19:14,800 --> 01:19:16,258
- Help.
- 1727
- 01:19:16,258 --> 01:19:18,022
- Help!
- 1728
- 01:19:18,022 --> 01:19:19,595
- Help!
- 1729
- 01:19:19,595 --> 01:19:21,589
- Help!
- 1730
- 01:19:21,589 --> 01:19:22,625
- Stop!
- 1731
- 01:19:22,625 --> 01:19:24,351
- Come on. Go, go, go!
- 1732
- 01:19:24,812 --> 01:19:26,423
- Help!
- 1733
- 01:19:28,533 --> 01:19:31,026
- No!
- 1734
- 01:19:31,026 --> 01:19:33,519
- Help!
- 1735
- 01:19:44,184 --> 01:19:46,371
- Don't you kill him! Dad!
- 1736
- 01:19:46,371 --> 01:19:47,713
- I'm so sorry.
- 1737
- 01:19:47,713 --> 01:19:50,130
- When I called you a pedophile,
- I was...
- 1738
- 01:19:50,130 --> 01:19:51,511
- No! No, no, no, no!
- 1739
- 01:19:51,511 --> 01:19:55,194
- No! Not...
- Not in front of my family!
- 1740
- 01:19:55,194 --> 01:19:57,803
- Your wife left this
- in a truck stop in Missouri.
- 1741
- 01:19:57,803 --> 01:20:00,219
- Thought you might want it back.
- 1742
- 01:20:00,219 --> 01:20:02,060
- Oh, my God.
- 1743
- 01:20:02,060 --> 01:20:03,710
- Wait! Wait!
- 1744
- 01:20:03,710 --> 01:20:07,200
- Is that my ring?
- 1745
- 01:20:07,200 --> 01:20:09,771
- This man's been trying to
- return it to us the whole time.
- 1746
- 01:20:11,190 --> 01:20:13,300
- I don't know
- how I could ever thank you.
- 1747
- 01:20:13,300 --> 01:20:15,142
- No thanks necessary.
- 1748
- 01:20:15,142 --> 01:20:16,753
- It was on my way.
- 1749
- 01:20:16,753 --> 01:20:18,824
- So you're not a rapist?
- 1750
- 01:20:23,389 --> 01:20:26,266
- Looks like your car's
- pretty messed up.
- 1751
- 01:20:26,266 --> 01:20:27,877
- Where you headed?
- 1752
- 01:20:27,877 --> 01:20:31,906
- Um...
- 1753
- 01:20:31,906 --> 01:20:33,516
- Home, I guess.
- 1754
- 01:20:33,516 --> 01:20:36,048
- Well, I can take you
- as far as San Francisco.
- 1755
- 01:20:36,048 --> 01:20:37,506
- Will that help?
- 1756
- 01:20:38,734 --> 01:20:41,841
- Yeah. Yeah, th-that'll work.
- 1757
- 01:20:41,841 --> 01:20:44,411
- Thank you.
- All right, come on, guys.
- 1758
- 01:20:44,411 --> 01:20:45,485
- Thank you.
- 1759
- 01:20:49,130 --> 01:20:50,242
- He still didn't answer me.
- 1760
- 01:20:50,242 --> 01:20:52,429
- Oh, Kevin.
- 1761
- 01:21:07,619 --> 01:21:10,381
- Well, thanks for the ride.
- Really appreciate it.
- 1762
- 01:21:10,381 --> 01:21:12,261
- Hey, you know, you never told us
- 1763
- 01:21:12,261 --> 01:21:13,527
- why you keep that Teddy bear
- on the front of your truck.
- 1764
- 01:21:13,527 --> 01:21:15,023
- Oh, yeah.
- 1765
- 01:21:15,023 --> 01:21:16,787
- Oh, it makes the kids
- feel more comfortable.
- 1766
- 01:21:16,787 --> 01:21:18,476
- Oh, yeah? You... you have kids?
- 1767
- 01:21:18,476 --> 01:21:20,547
- Nope.
- 1768
- 01:21:20,547 --> 01:21:21,544
- Right. Take care.
- 1769
- 01:21:26,800 --> 01:21:29,908
- Well, I guess that's that.
- 1770
- 01:21:29,908 --> 01:21:31,097
- Yeah.
- 1771
- 01:21:31,097 --> 01:21:32,785
- We'll get a flight home
- tomorrow.
- 1772
- 01:21:32,785 --> 01:21:34,395
- Do not stay here!
- 1773
- 01:21:34,395 --> 01:21:36,084
- It's the worst bed and breakfast
- we've ever been to!
- 1774
- 01:21:36,084 --> 01:21:37,771
- They oughta
- shut this place down!
- 1775
- 01:21:37,771 --> 01:21:39,881
- The owner is a lunatic!
- 1776
- 01:21:39,881 --> 01:21:42,221
- You all come back now, ya hear?
- 1777
- 01:21:42,221 --> 01:21:44,485
- Hey!
- 1778
- 01:21:44,485 --> 01:21:46,134
- Look who made it!
- 1779
- 01:21:46,134 --> 01:21:47,284
- Ellen!
- 1780
- 01:21:47,284 --> 01:21:48,282
- Oh, there you are. They're here!
- 1781
- 01:21:48,282 --> 01:21:49,433
- Hi, Dad.
- 1782
- 01:21:49,433 --> 01:21:51,696
- We were so happy
- to get that call.
- 1783
- 01:21:51,696 --> 01:21:53,115
- How was your trip?
- 1784
- 01:21:53,115 --> 01:21:55,648
- - Well, it's a long story.
- - Give me a hug.
- 1785
- 01:21:55,648 --> 01:21:57,987
- - Hi, Grandpa.
- - Come here, you two.
- 1786
- 01:21:57,987 --> 01:21:59,407
- Oh, my gosh!
- 1787
- 01:21:59,407 --> 01:22:00,519
- You're Gettin' so big!
- 1788
- 01:22:00,519 --> 01:22:02,131
- Hey, come on, let's go inside.
- 1789
- 01:22:02,169 --> 01:22:04,547
- - Grandpa, you don't have to.
- - No, I can do it. Really.
- 1790
- 01:22:04,547 --> 01:22:05,851
- - Oh, Russ.
- - Clark.
- 1791
- 01:22:05,851 --> 01:22:07,424
- Oh, no. I got this.
- 1792
- 01:22:07,424 --> 01:22:08,613
- I'm fine.
- 1793
- 01:22:08,613 --> 01:22:11,145
- Ow. This really hurts.
- 1794
- 01:22:11,145 --> 01:22:13,064
- And that's when
- the muffin made the car explode.
- 1795
- 01:22:13,064 --> 01:22:14,483
- But it didn't really matter
- 1796
- 01:22:14,483 --> 01:22:15,787
- because our luggage
- and all of our stuff
- 1797
- 01:22:15,787 --> 01:22:17,168
- had already been stolen
- 1798
- 01:22:17,168 --> 01:22:18,434
- by the guy with the rat
- on his shoulder.
- 1799
- 01:22:18,434 --> 01:22:20,122
- They even took my guitar.
- 1800
- 01:22:20,122 --> 01:22:22,117
- Oh, James, that's terrible.
- 1801
- 01:22:22,117 --> 01:22:23,612
- A musician without
- his instrument
- 1802
- 01:22:23,612 --> 01:22:27,794
- is as bad as a shoemaker
- without a toilet seat.
- 1803
- 01:22:27,794 --> 01:22:30,019
- I may have something for you.
- 1804
- 01:22:42,026 --> 01:22:43,446
- It's very fragile. Look.
- 1805
- 01:22:43,446 --> 01:22:45,747
- - You take care of that.
- - Wow, Grandpa.
- 1806
- 01:22:45,747 --> 01:22:47,588
- Thank you so much.
- 1807
- 01:22:47,588 --> 01:22:49,276
- - Cool!
- - Yeah!
- 1808
- 01:22:49,276 --> 01:22:50,465
- Doesn't look like much,
- 1809
- 01:22:50,465 --> 01:22:52,268
- but that's
- a very special guitar.
- 1810
- 01:22:52,268 --> 01:22:54,109
- It was given to me
- by Bob Dillon.
- 1811
- 01:22:54,109 --> 01:22:55,337
- The Bob Dylan?
- 1812
- 01:22:55,337 --> 01:22:57,140
- No. A Bob Dillon.
- 1813
- 01:22:57,140 --> 01:22:58,406
- D-I-L-L-O-N.
- 1814
- 01:22:58,406 --> 01:23:01,245
- An accountant friend of mine.
- 1815
- 01:23:01,245 --> 01:23:03,469
- But it was given to him
- by Jimmy Hendricks.
- 1816
- 01:23:03,469 --> 01:23:05,042
- The Jimi Hendrix?
- 1817
- 01:23:05,042 --> 01:23:06,846
- No.
- 1818
- 01:23:06,846 --> 01:23:08,764
- So how's
- the b-and-b business going?
- 1819
- 01:23:08,764 --> 01:23:11,411
- We love it, are you kidding?
- It's a great fit for us.
- 1820
- 01:23:11,411 --> 01:23:12,638
- We love visitors.
- 1821
- 01:23:12,638 --> 01:23:15,132
- We love having people around
- to care for.
- 1822
- 01:23:15,132 --> 01:23:16,436
- We're people people.
- 1823
- 01:23:16,436 --> 01:23:17,625
- Hey, guys.
- You mind if we join you?
- 1824
- 01:23:17,625 --> 01:23:19,582
- We're occupied right now.
- Beat it.
- 1825
- 01:23:22,266 --> 01:23:23,955
- Hmm. All right, guys,
- it's gettin' late.
- 1826
- 01:23:23,955 --> 01:23:25,450
- Why don't you go to bed, okay?
- 1827
- 01:23:25,450 --> 01:23:26,908
- - Okay, Mom.
- - Yeah. I'll run you upstairs.
- 1828
- 01:23:26,908 --> 01:23:28,059
- Good night, Grandma and Grandpa.
- 1829
- 01:23:28,059 --> 01:23:29,517
- - Nighty-night.
- - Thank you.
- 1830
- 01:23:29,517 --> 01:23:32,125
- Sleep tight.
- 1831
- 01:23:32,164 --> 01:23:34,581
- Well, you've certainly
- had an adventure.
- 1832
- 01:23:34,581 --> 01:23:35,924
- Well, yes.
- 1833
- 01:23:35,924 --> 01:23:37,880
- "Adventure"
- is one way to put it.
- 1834
- 01:23:38,608 --> 01:23:39,606
- How's Audrey?
- 1835
- 01:23:39,606 --> 01:23:41,140
- Oh, she's great.
- 1836
- 01:23:41,179 --> 01:23:43,902
- Yeah, she and Stone,
- they seem to be very happy.
- 1837
- 01:23:43,902 --> 01:23:45,322
- Key word there is "seem."
- 1838
- 01:23:45,322 --> 01:23:46,434
- What do you mean?
- 1839
- 01:23:46,434 --> 01:23:48,007
- Their marriage is a sham.
- 1840
- 01:23:48,007 --> 01:23:49,350
- What?
- 1841
- 01:23:49,350 --> 01:23:50,692
- Well, they sleep around
- on each other.
- 1842
- 01:23:50,692 --> 01:23:52,073
- Been doin' it for years.
- 1843
- 01:23:52,073 --> 01:23:53,685
- Oh, my gosh.
- 1844
- 01:23:53,685 --> 01:23:57,060
- I just wish Audrey had found
- a more solid marriage
- 1845
- 01:23:57,060 --> 01:23:58,557
- like you and Rusty.
- 1846
- 01:24:12,980 --> 01:24:14,744
- Hey, Russ, can we talk?
- 1847
- 01:24:16,970 --> 01:24:19,808
- I knew we had some problems.
- 1848
- 01:24:19,808 --> 01:24:21,305
- Is it this bad?
- 1849
- 01:24:21,305 --> 01:24:23,952
- Is our marriage dying?
- 1850
- 01:24:23,952 --> 01:24:25,409
- No.
- 1851
- 01:24:25,409 --> 01:24:28,478
- No, a marriage only dies
- when you stop trying.
- 1852
- 01:24:28,478 --> 01:24:32,122
- And you have never
- stopped trying.
- 1853
- 01:24:32,122 --> 01:24:35,000
- I just think maybe I did.
- 1854
- 01:24:35,000 --> 01:24:37,262
- What do you mean?
- 1855
- 01:24:37,262 --> 01:24:39,487
- I've only been thinking
- about myself, you know?
- 1856
- 01:24:39,487 --> 01:24:41,060
- I wanted to change the routine,
- 1857
- 01:24:41,060 --> 01:24:42,978
- and I want to go on
- exotic trips and...
- 1858
- 01:24:42,978 --> 01:24:46,968
- Yeah, there's nothing wrong
- with that.
- 1859
- 01:24:46,968 --> 01:24:49,308
- I was crazy to think
- I could make us closer
- 1860
- 01:24:49,308 --> 01:24:51,187
- by locking us in a car
- for a week.
- 1861
- 01:24:51,187 --> 01:24:53,528
- No, but you were doing that
- for us.
- 1862
- 01:24:53,528 --> 01:24:55,522
- You have been trying so hard
- 1863
- 01:24:55,561 --> 01:24:58,668
- to make this trip memorable
- for me and the kids, and...
- 1864
- 01:24:58,668 --> 01:25:00,164
- And I didn't appreciate that.
- 1865
- 01:25:00,164 --> 01:25:01,622
- But why would you?
- 1866
- 01:25:01,622 --> 01:25:05,228
- I mean, I've put you
- through some serious shit.
- 1867
- 01:25:05,228 --> 01:25:07,759
- Literally,
- a pool of shit in Arkansas.
- 1868
- 01:25:10,521 --> 01:25:12,670
- You deserve better.
- 1869
- 01:25:12,670 --> 01:25:15,815
- What, better than you?
- 1870
- 01:25:15,815 --> 01:25:18,386
- How many men
- would sacrifice their careers
- 1871
- 01:25:18,386 --> 01:25:20,342
- for their family like you have?
- 1872
- 01:25:20,342 --> 01:25:23,334
- Oh, I didn't sacrifice anything.
- 1873
- 01:25:23,334 --> 01:25:25,828
- I have everything
- I've ever wanted.
- 1874
- 01:25:38,103 --> 01:25:39,446
- Debbie.
- 1875
- 01:25:39,446 --> 01:25:40,712
- Yeah?
- 1876
- 01:25:40,712 --> 01:25:43,359
- Will you continue to be my wife?
- 1877
- 01:25:43,359 --> 01:25:45,391
- I was wondering when you were
- gonna give that back to me.
- 1878
- 01:25:45,391 --> 01:25:47,808
- I was wondering
- if you still wanted it.
- 1879
- 01:25:47,808 --> 01:25:50,111
- I do.
- 1880
- 01:25:56,900 --> 01:25:58,128
- Wait a minute.
- 1881
- 01:25:58,128 --> 01:25:59,547
- Are we gonna do this?
- 1882
- 01:25:59,547 --> 01:26:00,774
- Oh, yeah.
- 1883
- 01:26:00,774 --> 01:26:02,079
- I'm gonna pound the shit
- out of you.
- 1884
- 01:26:02,079 --> 01:26:03,230
- - Russ!
- - What?
- 1885
- 01:26:03,230 --> 01:26:05,033
- Lock the door.
- 1886
- 01:26:05,033 --> 01:26:07,871
- I'm gonna lock the shit
- out of that door.
- 1887
- 01:26:10,442 --> 01:26:11,899
- Hey, Dad.
- 1888
- 01:26:11,899 --> 01:26:13,702
- Morning, Rusty.
- 1889
- 01:26:13,702 --> 01:26:16,310
- You think you could drive us
- to the airport this afternoon?
- 1890
- 01:26:16,310 --> 01:26:18,267
- There's a flight
- back to Chicago at 4:00.
- 1891
- 01:26:18,267 --> 01:26:19,610
- Chicago?
- 1892
- 01:26:19,610 --> 01:26:21,182
- What about Walley World?
- 1893
- 01:26:21,182 --> 01:26:24,750
- Oh, no.
- We, uh... we've had enough.
- 1894
- 01:26:24,750 --> 01:26:26,208
- This trip's been a nightmare.
- 1895
- 01:26:26,208 --> 01:26:28,740
- Well, that's what
- family vacations are.
- 1896
- 01:26:28,740 --> 01:26:30,696
- But you can't give up, Russ.
- 1897
- 01:26:30,696 --> 01:26:32,154
- Well, why not?
- 1898
- 01:26:32,154 --> 01:26:34,877
- I mean, they always say
- "it's not the destination,
- 1899
- 01:26:34,877 --> 01:26:36,412
- "it's the journey," right?
- 1900
- 01:26:36,412 --> 01:26:38,061
- The journey sucks.
- 1901
- 01:26:38,061 --> 01:26:40,785
- That's what makes you
- appreciate the destination.
- 1902
- 01:26:40,785 --> 01:26:43,278
- You had a dream to take
- your family to walley world.
- 1903
- 01:26:43,278 --> 01:26:45,235
- Never let that go.
- 1904
- 01:26:45,235 --> 01:26:47,268
- I know I didn't.
- 1905
- 01:26:50,874 --> 01:26:53,214
- Well, how would
- we even get to Walley World?
- 1906
- 01:26:53,214 --> 01:26:54,289
- We don't have a car.
- 1907
- 01:26:54,289 --> 01:26:57,127
- Hey, come on.
- 1908
- 01:26:57,127 --> 01:26:59,390
- You leave that to me.
- 1909
- 01:27:09,978 --> 01:27:12,126
- Oops. Wrong door.
- 1910
- 01:27:26,627 --> 01:27:29,197
- Could I, uh, take the Nissan?
- 1911
- 01:27:29,197 --> 01:27:31,652
- No. No.
- 1912
- 01:27:43,121 --> 01:27:45,615
- Wait, Dad, I thought
- we were going to the airport.
- 1913
- 01:27:45,615 --> 01:27:47,341
- Boys, when your father
- makes you a promise,
- 1914
- 01:27:47,341 --> 01:27:48,608
- he keeps it.
- 1915
- 01:27:48,608 --> 01:27:50,679
- - That's not right.
- - This sucks.
- 1916
- 01:28:10,473 --> 01:28:11,624
- Wow.
- 1917
- 01:28:11,624 --> 01:28:14,194
- This place is huge.
- 1918
- 01:28:14,194 --> 01:28:15,997
- This is dope as fuck.
- 1919
- 01:28:15,997 --> 01:28:17,302
- - Kevin.
- - Kevin.
- 1920
- 01:28:17,302 --> 01:28:20,255
- Told you you guys
- would love it, right?
- 1921
- 01:28:20,294 --> 01:28:22,710
- Hey, Dad.
- 1922
- 01:28:22,710 --> 01:28:24,705
- It really is dope as fuck.
- 1923
- 01:28:24,705 --> 01:28:25,779
- I know, right?
- 1924
- 01:28:25,779 --> 01:28:27,391
- - Guys!
- - Oh, wait!
- 1925
- 01:28:32,301 --> 01:28:35,715
- There she is. The Velociraptor.
- 1926
- 01:28:35,715 --> 01:28:37,518
- I can't believe
- we actually made it.
- 1927
- 01:28:37,518 --> 01:28:38,515
- I know.
- 1928
- 01:28:38,515 --> 01:28:39,896
- Mwah!
- 1929
- 01:28:39,896 --> 01:28:40,932
- You guys ready
- for the ride of your life?
- 1930
- 01:28:40,971 --> 01:28:42,390
- - Oh, yeah.
- - Oh, hells yeah.
- 1931
- 01:28:42,390 --> 01:28:44,537
- If I'm being honest,
- it looks a little daunting.
- 1932
- 01:28:44,537 --> 01:28:47,184
- Come on. Race you to the ride.
- 1933
- 01:28:47,184 --> 01:28:49,525
- Yeah, go, go! Faster! Come on!
- 1934
- 01:29:02,721 --> 01:29:05,751
- Two more hours, guys.
- 1935
- 01:29:09,396 --> 01:29:11,659
- Oh, my gosh.
- 1936
- 01:29:11,659 --> 01:29:13,500
- All right, guys. Get psyched!
- 1937
- 01:29:13,539 --> 01:29:14,920
- Yes!
- 1938
- 01:29:14,920 --> 01:29:16,953
- This is it! This is why we came
- all this way.
- 1939
- 01:29:21,211 --> 01:29:23,436
- Excuse us.
- 1940
- 01:29:24,357 --> 01:29:25,584
- What was that?
- 1941
- 01:29:25,584 --> 01:29:27,195
- Last ride tonight.
- Park's closin'.
- 1942
- 01:29:27,195 --> 01:29:30,226
- - No, we were next.
- - What?
- 1943
- 01:29:30,226 --> 01:29:31,530
- Oh, no, no. That's not okay.
- 1944
- 01:29:31,530 --> 01:29:32,949
- - That's not...
- - This is ridiculous.
- 1945
- 01:29:32,949 --> 01:29:34,906
- Hey. Excuse me.
- 1946
- 01:29:34,906 --> 01:29:36,517
- You just cut in front of us.
- 1947
- 01:29:36,517 --> 01:29:38,435
- No, see,
- we bought the platinum pass
- 1948
- 01:29:38,473 --> 01:29:40,047
- so we get to skip the lines.
- 1949
- 01:29:40,084 --> 01:29:41,696
- Fifth time today on this one.
- 1950
- 01:29:41,696 --> 01:29:46,069
- Right, well, w-w-we just drove
- 2,500 miles to ride this ride
- 1951
- 01:29:46,069 --> 01:29:48,793
- so you can't just take our spot.
- 1952
- 01:29:48,793 --> 01:29:51,286
- Wait a minute, you...
- 1953
- 01:29:51,286 --> 01:29:52,744
- Econo air.
- 1954
- 01:29:52,744 --> 01:29:53,857
- Yeah?
- 1955
- 01:29:53,857 --> 01:29:55,391
- Good to see ya.
- 1956
- 01:29:55,391 --> 01:29:57,079
- All right, I'll tell you what.
- 1957
- 01:29:57,079 --> 01:30:00,685
- Why don't you and your family
- go fuck yourselves.
- 1958
- 01:30:05,479 --> 01:30:07,474
- I'm sorry, guys.
- 1959
- 01:30:09,316 --> 01:30:10,774
- Oh, my God!
- 1960
- 01:30:13,267 --> 01:30:14,801
- Okay.
- 1961
- 01:30:14,801 --> 01:30:17,142
- You're a dead man.
- 1962
- 01:30:24,660 --> 01:30:25,734
- Get off!
- 1963
- 01:30:25,734 --> 01:30:27,307
- Oh, it's on.
- 1964
- 01:30:27,307 --> 01:30:28,381
- Kevin, no!
- 1965
- 01:30:31,872 --> 01:30:33,866
- Wait, James.
- No, you're not gonna fight.
- 1966
- 01:30:33,866 --> 01:30:35,248
- I'm not gonna stand here
- like a little bitch.
- 1967
- 01:30:35,248 --> 01:30:36,897
- What?!
- 1968
- 01:30:36,897 --> 01:30:38,969
- Oh, shit!
- 1969
- 01:31:12,074 --> 01:31:14,184
- No, Kevin. Kevin, no.
- 1970
- 01:31:14,184 --> 01:31:15,796
- Kevin, come on.
- 1971
- 01:31:17,100 --> 01:31:19,785
- You people are fucking crazy!
- 1972
- 01:31:19,785 --> 01:31:21,472
- What kind of a family are you?
- 1973
- 01:31:21,472 --> 01:31:23,276
- We're the Griswolds!
- 1974
- 01:31:23,276 --> 01:31:27,726
- See you around you piece of ass!
- 1975
- 01:31:27,726 --> 01:31:29,414
- - Let's do this.
- - All right.
- 1976
- 01:31:29,414 --> 01:31:31,216
- Oh, man. I haven't been
- in a fight like that for years.
- 1977
- 01:31:31,216 --> 01:31:34,017
- First car, all right!
- 1978
- 01:31:34,017 --> 01:31:36,395
- Man, our family
- fucked that family up.
- 1979
- 01:31:36,395 --> 01:31:37,968
- We did.
- 1980
- 01:31:37,968 --> 01:31:39,771
- Did you see how I scratched
- that girl's arm?
- 1981
- 01:31:39,771 --> 01:31:41,919
- Oh, I saw it, honey.
- You gave her a good scratch.
- 1982
- 01:31:41,919 --> 01:31:43,377
- Yeah, my fingers
- still hurt a little,
- 1983
- 01:31:43,416 --> 01:31:44,374
- but I think I'll be okay.
- 1984
- 01:31:44,413 --> 01:31:46,063
- Oh, boy. Here we go!
- 1985
- 01:31:46,063 --> 01:31:47,750
- - Hold on.
- - Oh, gosh!
- 1986
- 01:33:08,423 --> 01:33:09,497
- Russ?
- 1987
- 01:33:09,497 --> 01:33:11,032
- Yeah-huh?
- 1988
- 01:33:11,032 --> 01:33:14,101
- Is it supposed to
- stay upside-down like this?
- 1989
- 01:33:14,101 --> 01:33:15,942
- Yeah. I don't think so.
- 1990
- 01:33:15,942 --> 01:33:16,940
- Oh.
- 1991
- 01:33:16,940 --> 01:33:19,318
- Dad, are we stuck?
- 1992
- 01:33:19,318 --> 01:33:21,312
- Looks that way, pal.
- 1993
- 01:33:21,312 --> 01:33:23,538
- My eyes,
- they're starting to bulge.
- 1994
- 01:33:23,538 --> 01:33:26,108
- I'm sure
- they'll have us down any minute.
- 1995
- 01:33:32,130 --> 01:33:35,698
- Well, guys, what'd you think
- of walley world?
- 1996
- 01:33:38,000 --> 01:33:39,726
- Yeah.
- 1997
- 01:33:40,685 --> 01:33:42,181
- Listen, boys.
- 1998
- 01:33:42,181 --> 01:33:43,601
- I can't tell you how much
- it's meant to me
- 1999
- 01:33:43,601 --> 01:33:44,981
- to spend all this time with you.
- 2000
- 01:33:44,981 --> 01:33:48,242
- I love you
- more than anything in the world.
- 2001
- 01:33:48,242 --> 01:33:52,040
- And if I could, I'd spend
- every single day with you.
- 2002
- 01:33:52,040 --> 01:33:54,073
- So, we'll see you in a week.
- 2003
- 01:33:54,073 --> 01:33:55,531
- Wait, what's going on?
- 2004
- 01:33:55,531 --> 01:33:57,296
- Petersons are gonna pick you up
- at O'Hare,
- 2005
- 01:33:57,296 --> 01:33:58,331
- and you'll stay with them.
- 2006
- 01:33:58,331 --> 01:34:00,517
- Where are we going?
- 2007
- 01:34:00,517 --> 01:34:03,702
- Someplace I shoulda taken you
- a long time ago.
- 2008
- 01:34:03,702 --> 01:34:06,157
- How did you get
- free tickets to Paris?
- 2009
- 01:34:06,157 --> 01:34:08,305
- I used my connections
- as a pilot.
- 2010
- 01:34:08,305 --> 01:34:10,991
- Oh, you're amazing.
- 2011
- 01:34:10,991 --> 01:34:13,330
- Well, you are my queen,
- 2012
- 01:34:13,330 --> 01:34:15,133
- and you deserve
- to be treated like one.
- 2013
- 01:34:20,734 --> 01:34:24,493
- I know
- it's not exactly first-class
- 2014
- 01:34:24,493 --> 01:34:25,644
- or coach.
- 2015
- 01:34:25,644 --> 01:34:28,100
- Honey, it's perfect.
- 2016
- 01:34:28,100 --> 01:34:29,634
- Yeah?
- 2017
- 01:34:39,646 --> 01:34:42,562
- So how long is the flight?
- 2018
- 01:34:42,562 --> 01:34:43,597
- 12 hours.
- 2019
- 01:34:45,400 --> 01:34:47,011
- Perfect.
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement