Advertisement
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- Wrote this for a thread centred around a female version of King Sombra.
- It's not exactly Rule 63, but more of a spin on the canon depiction of Sombra.
- Hope you enjoy it, it was fun to write.
- ---
- "You're sending me to do what?"
- >Celestia nods solemnly.
- >"This is a grave task that only you can accomplish. Right, Luna?"
- >Luna lets out a disinterested "uh huh" and continues openly flipping through her porn magazine.
- "Yeah, but, assassination?"
- >"Come on, it'll be easy, Sombra's a pussy anyway."
- >Luna nods.
- >"Verily, he art a sizable vagina."
- "B-but I'm an ambassador, not an assassin! Hell, I'm not even an ambassador, you just pay me to represent my people!"
- >Celestia jabs you in the shoulder.
- >"Don't be a wuss, Anon. You're just going to the Crystal Empire, pretending to be his friend or ally or whatever, then sticking a dagger in his belly. What's hard about that?"
- "Well killing someone, for starters, second, what did he do to deserve it?"
- >"He owes me money, and also he stole the Empire away from Cadence or something. But mostly he owes me money."
- "Christ, well when do I start?"
- >"Right now! Come along, game faces on, this'll be a quick adventure."
- "When can I expect to be back?"
- >"I dunno, train ride is like a day, then you can spend four hours or whatever getting close to Sombra, then you shank the fucker and be back home for Wednesday."
- >Luna grunts.
- >"Be sure to kick him in the balls once you're through."
- >She blinks a few times.
- >"Uhh, verily."
- >Celestia nods sagely.
- >"The ball kicking is important."
- "...Why?"
- >"It's a symbol of Equestrian might. We kick all our enemies in the balls."
- "That seems juvenile."
- >"And yet I'm the immortal sun goddess with a nation under her hoof, what have you accomplished lately?"
- >Luna snorts.
- >"Being a dork."
- >Celestia guffaws at this and hoofbumps her sister.
- >"Alright, Anon, let's get you to the train station."
- 1/?
- "W-wait, aren't I allowed to take anything?"
- >"Nope. No time, Equestria hangs in the balance or something to that effect."
- >She starts pushing you out the room.
- "Can't I at least take my tooth brush?!"
- >"I'm sure you'll look super imposing showing up to the Crystal Empire clutching nothing but a toothbrush. NOW GO!"
- >Huff to yourself as you watch the snowy landscape zip by past your carriage window.
- >The train is deserted apart from you.
- >You think the conductor might even have hopped off.
- >Craning your neck, you look into the driver's cabin.
- >A 'be right back' note is taped to the controls.
- >Sigh.
- >Maybe this won't be so bad.
- >You're only going to kill a tyrant.
- >With absolutely no formal training, experience or even motivation to do so.
- >You can pretty much expect to die here.
- >Didn't even get to say goodbye to your favourite pony.
- >Pony Joe.
- >You see a large gleaming spire rise over the horizon.
- >That must be the empire.
- >You've never been before, but you've heard tales of how nice it is this time of year.
- >Take another quick glance at the frozen desolation around you.
- >Yup, sure is lovely.
- >The train pulls into the station and you stand up, rubbing your eyes and preparing to meet your death.
- >Hey, maybe Sombra will go easy on you.
- >Perhaps you can appeal to his good nature.
- >If he even has one.
- >You pull a picture out of your pocket and unfold it.
- >A jet black, red horned, psychotic-looking unicorn in a regal gown cackles whilst lightning strikes around him.
- >Would he like sports? He looks like he might like sports.
- >Step off the train as it comes to a stop.
- >Around you you're surrounded by hundreds of... absolutely nothing.
- >The platform is dead.
- >You can't even hear the wind.
- >Looking around, you see that there's a sort of artificial eco-sphere set up around the empire, because everything is lush, green, and warm.
- >Frowning, you scratch your face and head towards the exit.
- 2/?
- >There has to be someone around here.
- >Yet as you reach the streets of the Crystal Empire, nothing changes.
- >You peer through various windows, but see no cowering citizens like you expected.
- >It seems as though the whole empire is a ghost town.
- >Spooky.
- >Push on towards the massive spire that towers above the houses.
- >If you weren't here to perform an execution, you might find this quite nice.
- >Stand beneath the spire and glance around.
- >You see an entrance snaking up to the spire, but there's no one guarding it.
- >Shrug and let yourself in.
- >The whole situation is so surreal that you ask out of instinct:
- "Hello? Anyone home? Your front door was unlocked!"
- >Your voice echoes back at you.
- >Pick a random direction and start walking.
- >An evil tyrant would probably hang out in the throne room, right?
- >Stick your hands in your pockets and whistle as you walk.
- >Admire the architecture.
- >Everything is made of crystal.
- >Even the flowers.
- >You pass into a large hallway, and a pair of great double doors lie at the end.
- >They're slightly open.
- >Briskly walk over and poke your head through the door to see--
- >"HEY!"
- "OHGOD."
- >Leap backwards, tripping over yourself as you do so.
- >You fall to the floor, banging your back hard against the crystalline surface.
- >There's no time to rest, however, as King Sombra herself is immediately all over you.
- >"Who are you?! How did you get in? Who sent you? Are you hurt? Why are you so weird looking?"
- >You bat your hands at her and try to fend her off.
- >Yet as your hands push at her fluffy chest and force the overbearing unicorn away from you, you pause.
- >Sombra glares at you, her eyes filled with cautious anticipation.
- >Slowly, you reach into your pocket and retrieve your picture.
- >Unfold it and compare it to the mare before you.
- >Same colour scheme, same red horn, same clothing, same look of extreme mania.
- >But...
- "Wait, you're a mare?"
- 3/?
- >Sombra stares at you, then gives an indignant huff.
- >"Of course I'm a mare! I'm Queen Sombra! Terror of the Crystal Empire!"
- "...Oh."
- >The queen's eyes narrow.
- >"What, you were expecting something more? Am I not scary enough for you?"
- "No no, it's not that, I just, uhh, I was told you were a stallion."
- >"By who? It wasn't Celestia was it? Are you an assassin here to kill me?!"
- >She presses her face close to you, so that her nose is touching yours.
- >Her scrunched face and glare are enough to shut you up.
- "N-No! I'm here to... visit?"
- >Sombra eyes you for a second.
- >"Visit."
- "Yes."
- >"From where?"
- "Canterlot?"
- >"So Celestia -did- send you to kill me?"
- "No, I'm just, uhh, President of the Sombra Fanclub."
- >What the fuck are you talking about.
- >Sombra blinks a few times, then smirks.
- >"The president of my own fanclub doesn't know what gender I am?"
- "W-well to be fair, you don't exactly show up much."
- >"No, I don't."
- >She fixes her mane with a hoof.
- >"I'm far too busy to attend such trivial things, but I appreciate the time you took to visit me."
- >She puts on a haughty expression.
- >"Tell me, how many legions of fans do I have in Canterlot?"
- "Oh. Um, well it's just ahh, me."
- >...
- >Sombra looks crestfallen.
- "But I'm looking for new members!"
- >She deflates somewhat.
- >"Right, yes, of course."
- >The queen fixes you with her unsettlingly intense gaze again.
- >"I suppose I should be a gracious host and show you around."
- "Wouldn't the queen have a servant to do th--"
- >You shut your mouth quickly.
- >Sombra glares at you.
- >"Yes. Well. All my servants are busy with important royal matters at the moment."
- >In the silence that follows, you realise just how quiet the palace really is.
- >It truly is completely deserted save for Sombra.
- >You stand up and look down at the queen.
- >She seems perturbed by your height over her.
- >"You're too tall. Shrink."
- "I can't, ma'am."
- 4/?
- >She huffs and trots off down the hall, motioning for you to follow.
- >You follow her.
- >As you both walk, you think about what just happened.
- >She's alone in a castle, doesn't have any guards, is way smaller than you are, is good-natured enough to not kill you on the spot, and is now showing you around.
- >You get the horrible feeling that this is going to end in sex.
- >Paintings of various important figures adorn the walls.
- >Sombra sees you looking and tries to make small talk.
- >"You like the paintings?"
- "Yeah, who are they?"
- >"I have no idea. I only moved in two weeks ago."
- "...Oh."
- >"Not very in-the-know, are you... Uhh--"
- "Anonymous."
- >"Anonymous."
- "No, I'm not. How did you come to running the empire?"
- >"I merely showed up and every pony was so scared of me that they just ran away."
- "Really?"
- >"Yes. That's what happened. Stop asking so many questions."
- "So now that you have the empire, what are you going to do?"
- >"Run it, obviously."
- "Ah, good plan. But uhh, I didn't see... -many- ponies around. How are you going to gather wealth and power with so few followers?"
- >"Hopefully that fanclub of yours might be able to throw me together an army. How does three months sound? I want an army ready to go in three months."
- "Why do you want an army?"
- >"I'm a tyrant, idiot, it's what tyrants do. You know, they build armies and stuff."
- "And stuff."
- >"Shut up."
- >She pushes open a door and you find yourself in what looks like...
- "Is this a kitchen?"
- >Sombra pulls open the Royal Refrigerator and retrieves a Rich, Expensive and Hard-to-obtain Royal Beverage.
- >She cracks open the soda and sips on it.
- >"You want one?"
- >Nervously accept and pierce the lid, sipping the flat soda inside.
- "You're... Not really what I was expecting."
- >Sombra goes red.
- >"Yeah, well, why don't you just disappear like the others then?"
- >Sit down on a chair.
- >Sombra glares at you.
- 5/?
- >You get an idea, and instead slide off the chair and sit cross-legged on the floor.
- >This brings you to eye-level with Sombra.
- "I think I'll stay."
- >She seems pleased with this and sits herself down as well.
- >"Good. I need more slaves."
- "Slaves?"
- >"Yes. I need slaves to build my empire."
- >Look around you.
- "Empire already seems built."
- >"Shut up, you don't know what it's like, running a nation."
- >You scratch your face in thought.
- "Soo... What -is- it like?"
- >She gazes blankly at the soda in her hooves.
- >"It's... Nice."
- >Frown.
- "Just nice?"
- >"Look, you came at a bad time, alright? It's a transitional period, I haven't got everything set up yet."
- >She gulps down some flat soda.
- >"Come back in a month, and there'll be black-armour-clad guards marching these halls, legions of servants fulfilling my every wish, and foreign nations will be tripping over themselves to pay tribute to me!"
- >She angrily drinks more 'Fruity Punch' soda.
- >"You'll see, Anonymous..."
- >She leans back so that her back is resting against one of the table legs behind her.
- >"They'll all see..."
- >Sit awkwardly for a while, sipping on the gone-off soda and thinking about what to do next.
- >You're in a kitchen, and there are knives everywhere.
- >You could totally stab her right now and be done with it.
- >Yet some strange cosmic force compels you to sit still.
- >The thought yet again occurs that you're probably going to bang this mare.
- >"So."
- >Look up at her.
- >"What do you like to do for fun?"
- "I'm sorry?"
- >She goes red and asks again.
- "Uhh, well, reading. I like reading."
- >Sombra nods.
- >"Yes, yes, me too. I have a library, you know."
- "Really? Is it big?"
- >"It's huge. It's a -royal- library, see."
- "Oh, cool."
- >She gives you an unamused look.
- >"Well don't get too excited."
- "Sorry, it's just, uhh, I don't really know how to talk to royalty."
- >She shrugs.
- >"You've been doing well so far."
- >That's encouraging.
- >"Want to see it then?"
- 6/?
- "Sure, lead the way."
- >She stands up and gets two more sodas out the fridge.
- >"So, um, this might sound weird, but do you like adventure novels?"
- "The afternoon sun washed over the lands, shrouding all it touched in a silky orange glow. Firefall sighed happily as she could just about make out her home in the distance; the picturesque little village sat as happily as it always had on the side of the valley bowl..."
- >You are in Sombra's library.
- >For how long you've been there, you're unsure.
- >But you're both under blankets and reading stories by lamplight.
- >Sombra is curled up across from you, her red and green eyes flickering in the flame's light.
- >You finish the book and yawn.
- >Check your watch.
- >You've been here for hours.
- >Your throat kinda hurts from reading, and there are plates of food and empty drink cans scattered all around you.
- >Sombra is watching you with utmost fascination.
- >She'd taken off her crown sometime during your reading, and it lies forgotten on a small pile of chocolate wrappers.
- >Her mane is wild and unkempt, a stark contrast to the pristine state it was in when you first met.
- >She lazily plays around with an apple as you finish reading.
- >Once you do so, she smiles.
- >"That was... Great."
- "Just great?"
- >"Well, uh, passable, I suppose."
- >She sniffs.
- >"I used to have ponies read to me every night."
- >You raise an eyebrow at her.
- "You used to have ponies read you stories at night?"
- >"Yes?"
- "What, like a foal?"
- >She glares at you.
- >"If I wasn't so tired and full of chocolate I'd come over there and beat you like a dog."
- >She snuggles in deep amongst her blankets and royal gown.
- >It makes her look extremely cozy.
- "It's past midnight, do you want to sleep?"
- >"Sure, do you have a train you need to catch tomorrow? N-not that you can leave, or anything."
- 7/?
- >...
- >You briefly remember why you're here.
- >Sombra studies your face as you think.
- >It's not hard to tell that she's trying to figure you out.
- >Eventually, you stretch out and let out a satisfied noise.
- "Well I wasn't planning to go tomorrow. Didn't really plan my trip home yet."
- >Which in a way is true.
- >Sombra develops a small smile at this.
- >"Oh. Good."
- >She stands up, trying to keep the blankets close to her.
- >The air in the library is chilly, though, and she quickly sits down again.
- >"Ugh, I hate how cold it gets around here."
- "Can't you heat the place up a bit?"
- >"The old owners used to have enchantments that kept the place warm no matter what."
- "And you can't do that?"
- >"I don't know the spells for it. The eco-dome outside is fine, but the central heating isn't."
- "Maybe it's in one of these books?"
- >"Maybe."
- "Don't you want to find out?"
- >Sombra yawns.
- >"I just want to sleep at the moment."
- >You give her a curious look.
- "What exactly have you been doing these last few weeks?"
- >"Just... Planning."
- "Planning for your armies, right?"
- >"Of course."
- "And not sitting around eating whatever you find in the fridge."
- >"...Of course."
- >She rests her chin on the floor.
- "Not going to bed?"
- >"Too tired and cold."
- "Wow, some tyrant you are."
- >"Just because I'm not what you would consider the ideal tyrant, doesn't mean that I'll put up with your sass, Anonymous."
- "Oof, sorry."
- >"Mmph. You'd better be..."
- "You alright?"
- >"Yes yes, just tired..."
- >She closes her eyes and lets out a final, deep sigh.
- >After a few seconds, you can hear her delicate snores drifting past your ears.
- >You watch the sleeping mare for a good minute.
- >This is it.
- >You could kill her right now.
- >Crush her throat?
- >Snap her neck?
- >...
- >You look away from the queen and flip onto your back.
- >Stare at the ceiling.
- >You're not kidding anyone, Anon.
- >You aren't a killer. Not even close.
- 8/?
- >No way in hell are you killing someone you just met, least of all someone as sorry-looking as Sombra.
- >Glance at her again.
- >She looks troubled when she sleeps.
- >Every so often she'll shift uncomfortably.
- >Looking over her body, you see that one of her back legs is exposed.
- >Readjusting yourself, you feel the cold air rush in for a moment.
- >You don't blame her for shifting; the air is freezing.
- >Shuffle over to her and gently wrap your fingers around her leg.
- >Carefully slide it under her gown, then cover the gown in her blanket, making sure that none of her is exposed.
- >"What are you doing?"
- >You flinch and look at her.
- >She's sat up slightly, her eyes glowing with ethereal light in the darkness.
- "You looked cold, so I just, ah, moved your leg under the blanket."
- >Sombra fixes you with her signature stare.
- >Then gives you a small nod.
- >"Thank you."
- >She beckons for you to come closer.
- >"Lie with me."
- "Huh?"
- >"We'll be warmer that way."
- "We could always find a bed--""
- >"Lie. With. Me."
- "Right, yeah, got it."
- >You settle down next to her and get comfy.
- >She closes her eyes again and is asleep in seconds.
- >You can smell her from here.
- >She smells... quite musty, actually.
- >Hardly 'smelling of lavender and vanilla' like the ponies back in Canterlot often do.
- >Unwashed, even.
- >You wonder if she's figured out where the shower is yet in this palace.
- >Regardless, you get comfortable on your back and close your eyes.
- >Never thought the day would end up like this.
- >And with that, you drift off to sleep.
- >Your eyes creak open.
- >The first thought in your mind is how much warmer it is.
- >Sunlight streaks through the arched windows, catching the floating dust and illuminating the library.
- >A muffled groan makes you glance at the sleeping form next to you.
- >Sombra's faintly glowing eyes flutter open and she groggily studies you with early morning confusion.
- >"Snrrrrgg... Crryyyystlllss..."
- "What."
- 9/?
- >She smacks her lips and raises her head from the floor, about to reply.
- >Then pauses.
- >Look down at where she's staring.
- >You didn't even notice it, but sometime in the night, Sombra's hoof had escaped the confines of her blankets.
- >The same happened to your arm, and your fingers were lightly resting against her hoof.
- >Both you and Sombra quickly pull your respective limbs back to each other and regard one another with caution.
- >"Were you touching me last night?"
- "I don't know, did you try anything funny?"
- >"Do I look like I make a lot of jokes?"
- "I don't even know who you are."
- >She huffs and stands up, shedding her blankets.
- >The tyrant grunts at the sight of the books, wrappers, plates and glasses.
- >"Look at this mess... Who's going to clean this up?"
- "You, presumably, it's your palace."
- >"Ugh, such disrespect. You're lucky I need you here to carry out my orders."
- "Say what now."
- >"Last night you told me you had no plans to leave, and I need help cleaning up the palace."
- "But that's not what I'm here to d--"
- >"Silence, you will do this for me or I shall destroy you."
- >Give her a flat look.
- "I don't think you will."
- >Sombra looks aghast.
- >"How -dare- you! I brought this empire to its knees! You really think you can stand up to me?!"
- "Yes."
- >"Such insolence. Fine! Be that way! I shall grant you ten seconds to run before I obliterate you where you stand!"
- >Her horn lights up.
- >You stand your ground.
- >She begins counting down.
- >Fold your arms and wait for her to finish.
- >"Three. Two. ...ONE!"
- >A violent blast of red magic slams into your chest, sending you flying head over heels backwards.
- >You roll several times and come to an abrupt stop at the foot of a wooden bookcase.
- >To your horror, your weight was enough to knock a few books off the shelves above.
- >They bounce painfully off you.
- >But just as you think it's over, a large, heavy tome outlining the perks of mechanised farming crashes into your body.
- 10/?
- >"Stupid moron."
- >Sombra tears a drawer out of its compartment.
- >"Idiot."
- >She inspects your arm and flips through a medicinal book.
- >"Imbecile."
- "Alright, I get it."
- >"Why did you make me do that?"
- "I didn't -make- you do anything! You're the one who lost her shit and decided to try and kill me!"
- >"Well I didn't mean to hit you! Your body is too large, it got in the way. I only meant to scare you."
- >She prods your arm and checks the drawer of medical supplies she pulled out for various ointments.
- "Is all this really necessary? It's just a big bruise."
- >"You might have a fracture."
- "Trust me, we'd know if I did."
- >"Well fine then. You patch -yourself- up."
- >She storms out of the room.
- >You sigh and check your arm again.
- >An ugly bruise has formed where the corner of the book hit you, but you've not broken anything.
- >It'll heal.
- >Now you just need to figure out what you're going to do with Sombra.
- >So far you've shown up, fucked around in a library and slept next to her.
- >Hardly the heroic assassination against the lord of darkness that you were promised.
- >Come to think of it, a lot of what Celestia told you about Sombra has turned out to be bullshit.
- >You were told she was a merciless overlord who had enslaved the entire kingdom.
- >Who had returned from beyond death to wreak havoc in the frozen north.
- >Who had dethroned Cadence and Shining Armour and once more brought the Crystal Empire under her control.
- >But given what you've seen, you have no idea what could have possibly happened.
- >One thing you can be quite sure of is that she isn't a monster.
- >Right?
- >She's angry, aggressive, and cold.
- >Maybe even a little bit conceited.
- >And above all else, seemingly lonely.
- >Of course, you can't conclude everything from spending just under a day with her.
- >Some more observation will have to be in order.
- >Even then, why observe?
- >You're here to kill her. No matter what you do here, the reason you came here doesn't change.
- 11/?
- >Celestia tasked you to kill her.
- >And you think maybe get back some money that she owes Celestia from about 1000 years ago.
- >Old gambling debts aren't forgotten, apparently.
- >"Hey."
- >Look up.
- >Sombra is holding two steaming cups in her magic.
- >"Do you like hot chocolate?"
- "Sure."
- >"Right. Well, good. I made you some. Thank me later."
- >She thinks for a moment.
- >"Actually, thank me now."
- "...Thanks for the hot chocolate?"
- >"You're very welcome."
- >The mare trots towards you and gently places your cup of steaming hot coco next to you.
- >She sits on her rear and sips hers, staring into space as she does so.
- >Once again you find yourself in awkward silence with her.
- >And all you can think about is what makes her tick.
- >So far she's been quite receptive to questions, so perhaps you can squeeze some more information out of her.
- "Soo, when you took over, how did that go down?"
- >You expect a story about how she fought her way to the throne.
- >Or even more likely, that everyone in the Crystal Empire just took a two week holiday and she's taken over while they were gone.
- >Maybe a funny story about--
- >"I killed them all."
- >...
- >You stare at her, then frown.
- "Come on, be serious."
- >She sets down her mug and stares straight at you, her ethereal eyes letting out small wisps of purple energy.
- >"I killed each and every one of them."
- >Your blood runs cold.
- >Seems Celestia was right all along.
- >Sombra sighs.
- >"At least, I think I have. Probably have. More than likely have. It was an accident, alright?"
- >She fumes to herself and drinks some more chocolate.
- >"Last time I was banished by Celestia and her fat sister, I cast a fail-safe that would banish the empire with me."
- "Right."
- >"It worked, and a thousand or so years later, I came back, along with the empire."
- >She takes a slow sip and wipes her mouth on the back of her hoof.
- >"So that time some pink flying thing and a dragon whelp literally explode me and I wake up in Tartarus."
- 12/?
- "How does that work?"
- >She taps her horn.
- >"Artificial horn. Acts like a fail-safe for death."
- >She smiles.
- >"I'm big on fail-safes. I'm just a unicorn, after all. We're super squishy."
- >You take note of her plush looking sides.
- >Then immediately look back at her face.
- >She's lost in her own little world as she recollects the story.
- >"So my horn regenerated me, I tricked the guard-dog at Tartarus with rock I painted to look like a ball, and I escaped."
- >Sombra shakes her head.
- >"I made my way back here, and the first thing I do is try and cast that banishment fail-safe again to get rid of the pink flying princess thing whose name escapes me and her consort."
- >She looks around, and you once again listen to the sound of silence in the palace.
- >"I made a mistake, Anonymous."
- >She looks at you sadly.
- >"So now they're all banished. All of them. And I'm stuck here alone for a thousand years until they get back. That is, if they even make it back. Not sure if I applied the chrono-skip to the spell, so they might literally have to spend a thousand years in some forgotten temporal plane, rather than spending 20 minutes there like we did last time."
- >Sombra gulps down the last of her milk and wipes her mouth.
- >"Worst of all I don't have anyone to boss around or mine crystals for me..."
- >She grows a small smile.
- >"Well, until you showed up."
- >The mare flashes you a sweet little grin.
- >"Anonymous~ would you be a dear and head down to the mines and dedicate your life to harvesting magic crystals for me?"
- >She bats her eyelids, then lets out a frustrated groan.
- >You watch in bemusement as the tyrant flops backwards spread-eagled and stares at the crystalline ceiling.
- >"Not going to lie, this is a really boring situation to be in."
- "But... You've got magic."
- >She scrunches her face up.
- 13/?
- >"I don't know what you know about magic, but tyrants have to eat, Anonymous. They have to have people work for them, and maintain their empires, and fight their battles."
- >The mare puffs out her cheeks.
- >"Tyrants rule through fear. Not much use when there's no one around to scare."
- >She looks at you.
- >"And you don't even find me scary."
- >You give the queen a long look, and after a long while, say:
- "How the hell did you take over the first time?"
- >She frowns.
- >"I just said, fear. My special talent was scaring ponies. Well, that's putting it lightly, I was a magical prodigy really. But I was always good at spooking people. My foalhood friends used to call me Spooky Sombra before I imprisoned them in the crystal mines."
- >She giggles to herself.
- >"Good times~"
- >Getting over how adorable that giggle was, you ask the final and most pressing question.
- "But why are you always portrayed as a stallion?"
- >"Don't know. Celestia was probably a massive bitch about winning and made everyone think I was a guy."
- "...But why?"
- >"Haven't you ever met Celestia? She's the worst."
- "Yeah, she is."
- >"Oh, you've met her then."
- "Yeah, she..."
- >Should you really tell her this?
- >You look at the mare lying spread-eagled on the floor.
- >She looks at you, nursing your arm and hot chocolate.
- "She umm, sent me here to kill you."
- >Sombra stares at you.
- >Slowly, she sits up.
- >"Oh."
- >You set down the chocolate and keep your hands to yourself.
- >The mare frowns at you.
- >Then her face contorts into one of anger.
- >Then back to just frowning.
- >"O-oh."
- "Are you okay?"
- >"D-don't talk to me."
- >She stands up and paces around.
- >"So now they're sending assassins. Well some assassin you turned out to be!"
- >Sombra seems to hype herself up for a moment, turning away and giving herself a sort of pep-talk before smoothing her mane out and readjusting her dusty robes.
- >She spins around, eyes full of fury.
- 14/?
- >"SO! You think you can claim my life, do you?!"
- "What? No--"
- >"You shall find only death here!"
- >She points her horn at you and charges it up.
- >You grab the closest thing to you in a bid to defend yourself.
- >A drawer full of medical supplies.
- >The two of you stand off.
- >Sombra breathes heavily.
- >Your mind works rapidly to try and figure a way out of this.
- >"G-go on then! Try and kill me!"
- "You first!"
- >"You fi-- What kind of assassin are you?!"
- "I'm not an assassin!"
- >"But you just said Celestia sent you to kill me!"
- "She did! And if I really was an assassin, then why didn't I kill you last night?!"
- >"I don't know, because you're stupid!"
- "Then how could I possibly kill -you-?!"
- >She pauses.
- >Then raises her horn slightly.
- >"...Did you just imply that I'm smarter than you?"
- "Well, I mean, you're the one with an empire, and I'm threatening you with--."
- >You quickly glance at the drawer in your hands.
- "Bandages, throat medicine and tea-leaves."
- >Sombra blushes slightly.
- >"Well, umm, you're still going to try and kill me though, right?"
- "No, I'm really not."
- >...
- >She dissipates the magic in her horn.
- >"Well. Good. I'm terrible at fighting."
- >Sombra tries to force a smile.
- >"You can put down my medicine now."
- >You do so gladly, then sit back down.
- >Sombra tentatively sits next to you.
- >Then scooches over slightly so that you can feel her flank pressed slightly against your leg.
- >"So now that I've forced you into submission, can you please look after me?"
- "I-- what."
- >"Well, I'm a tyrant, not a cook."
- "You want me to cook you stuff."
- >"Yes, and if you don't, I'll kill you."
- "We literally just established that you won't kill me."
- >"I showed you mercy."
- "Oh here we go, mouthing off about being superior again."
- >"Shut up, Anonymous, you can't understand what I'm going through."
- "What sort of tyrant bitches about her emotional problems to would-be assassins?"
- 15/?
- >"The kind that will slap said would-be assassin silly if he doesn't show her some respect!"
- "I'll show you respect when you damn well deserve it, I didn't want to come to this shitty part of the country anyway!"
- >Sombra gasps.
- >"Don't call the palace I rightfully stole shitty! I spent years working towards this! I died! You could be at least a little bit more sympathetic towards my personal issues!"
- "Personal issues?! You're a psychotic unicorn hell-bent on ruling an empire with no one in it! Why should I care about your personal issues?!"
- >"It's not got no one in it! -You're- in it! And I thought you might care because you haven't left yet!"
- "...Well of course I've not left! You haven't let me!"
- >"Oh don't start with that 'waa you're imprisoning me' crap! I heard enough of that from the thousands of ponies I locked underground!"
- "You're just an evil, self-absorbed bitch!"
- >"Well you're just some... I don't even know -what- you are! You just turned up and started reading me stories!"
- "Only because you asked!"
- >"Yes! I did! And I really enjoyed it!"
- "Yeah so did I, you whore!"
- >"Don't call me a whore you sack of assholes! I could break you with my mind!"
- "I could break you with my fists!"
- >"Well go ahead!"
- "Fine, I will!"
- >"Then do it!"
- "I'm going to!"
- >"Good!"
- "F--"
- >Sombra grabs both sides of your head and forces her lips against yours.
- >You grab her mane and wrestle her to the floor.
- >Her crown and robes are torn off.
- >Your shirt and pants follow suit, and in seconds you're both rolling around on the floor, locked in each other's embrace.
- >"Woah."
- "Holy shit."
- >Sombra lies cuddled up against you on the floor.
- >You stare blankly at the ceiling.
- >"That was..."
- "Yeah."
- >Sit up.
- >Rub your head.
- "Jesus..."
- >"What?"
- "Nothing. So uhh, what happens now?"
- >"Not... umm, not really sure. Never done that before."
- "I noticed."
- >She punches you in the ribs.
- >"Not funny."
- 16/?
- "It's a little bit funny."
- >Sombra exhales deeply and runs a hoof through her messy, tangled mane.
- >"Are you going to go back to... Well, you know."
- "Canterlot?"
- >"Yes."
- "Not sure. Can't exactly do so since you're not dead."
- >Sombra frowns.
- >"She really wanted me dead?"
- "Yeah, also you owed her money, apparently."
- >"Ugh, she's -still- on that? I'm not giving her a single bit..."
- "Well I can't go back until you're dead, and I can't leave because eventually you'll run out of food because you can't cook for shit."
- >"Hey! ...Well yes, I can't cook, but tyrants aren't supposed to."
- "So if I leave you'll die anyway."
- >Her ears fall back slightly.
- >"I-I suppose I would. There's enough food in the empire to last me a few months before it all goes bad. After than... well..."
- >She trails off.
- >You sigh and look at her.
- >She's still panting from her 'exertion' and smells terrible.
- "...First, you need a shower."
- >Sombra nods.
- >Then shakes her head.
- >"I have no idea what that is."
- "Uhh--"
- >"Thousand year banishment. Only been back for a month at best."
- "Ah. Basically, I'm washing you. You stink."
- >She goes red.
- "Second, we need to figure out how we're going to make food."
- >"We also need an army."
- "We can get to that later, you god damn maniac."
- >"What do you propose we do, then?"
- "I don't know, go back to Canterlot?"
- >She snorts.
- >"Celestia will have me killed on the spot."
- "We could move somewhere more remote then?"
- >Sombra give you a wry smile.
- >"I just had a thought."
- >You raise an eyebrow.
- >"We've only known each other for just over a day and we've already slept with and are living together."
- >You purse your lips.
- >There's silence between you both.
- "Has to be some kind of record, that."
- >"Maybe... Or I'm just -that- attractive."
- "Oh god not again."
- >"You can't deny it though, can you? I always was desirable."
- "We got caught up in the moment, it didn't mean anything--"
- 17/?
- >"Oh shush, I know you liked me the moment we met. I could see it in your eyes."
- >She bites her lower lip.
- >"You devious creature, coming into my palace just to seduce me~"
- "Did you smoke something while I wasn't looking? Snap out of it! This is a serious situation!"
- >She clears her throat and apologises, but still gives you the half-lidded eyes.
- >"You'll make a fine slave."
- "First things first, lady, I'm no slave. What we have is a platonic relationship to further our mutual goals, me so I can go home, you so you can survive since you're apparently too inept to survive on your own."
- >She flushes with anger.
- >"Don't start this again, you damnable creature, you're the one who showed up to copulate with your assassination target!"
- "It wasn't exactly fair! I've never killed anyone and you were in a really sorry state! I couldn't kill something so defenceless!"
- >Oh. Whoops.
- >"Defenceless?! I have conquered empires--"
- "By jumping out of the fucking closet and saying "boogaloogaloo"! That's not something real tyrants do, Sombra!"
- >"I apologise for not being a ruthless killing machine like you'd hoped!"
- "It's not my fault I'm here! It's Celestia's fault!"
- >"Well it's her fault I'm trapped in this frozen wasteland!"
- "Oh boo hoo, so why don't we just dance along back to Canterlot and kill Celestia then?!"
- >"Like that will ever happen!"
- "Then what the hell do you want from me?!"
- >"I want you to stay with me!"
- "We've known each other for a day, woman!"
- >"Is that supposed to change the fact that I've fallen for you?!"
- "Oh suck my dick you fucking--"
- "God dammit."
- >"I don't even know what happened then."
- "Twice. Twice in the same fucking day."
- >"Damn, that thing you did with your hands was hot~"
- "Shut up."
- >Sit up again.
- >Sombra giggles and enjoys her afterglow.
- "What are we going to do, Sombra..."
- 18/?
- >"Hmm?"
- >Lie back and put your hands behind your head.
- "Two days ago I was sat at home reading books and just existing. Now I'm lying on the floor of a palace after round two with an alleged 'diabolical overlord' that I was supposed to kill."
- >"Wouldn't have happened if you'd just killed me."
- "Fuck you."
- >"Literally just did~"
- >Grunt in response.
- >"Look, I'm a simple mare with simple tastes. I want an empire, an army, and a hoof massage. So then you show up and turn that on its head."
- "How have I turned it on its head?"
- >"By... you know, being nice to me. Reading, making me smile. All that good stuff..."
- "Jesus, you have the emotional depth of a teenager."
- >Check your watch.
- "It's been like... twenty hours since we met.
- >She looks at you sadly.
- >"Well what am I supposed to do? I feel like I need you in my life even though we've only known each other for a day."
- "Maybe you're just lonely."
- >"If I was, would that really change how I feel about you?"
- >...
- >"Let's just... stay together."
- "But--"
- >"We'll sort out the food problem when it happens, Anonymous..."
- >The mare looks into your eyes.
- >"What have you got to lose?"
- >Hm.
- >Not much, to be frank.
- >No job, since no one will hire you and Celestia pays you since you're technically the ambassador to your people.
- >A pretty dumpy house in the lower levels of Canterlot.
- >You keep getting dragged into shenanigans by the royal family.
- >At least here you can unwind a bit.
- >Even if it is with an emotionally unstable, highly volatile, tyrannical wanna-be overlord.
- >Look down at your smelly, flawed, bright-eyed partner.
- >She lets out a short, soft laugh.
- >"President of my fanclub... really?"
- >You chuckle.
- "It was the best thing I could think of on my feet."
- >"You're weird, you know that?"
- "So are you."
- >...
- "What, no venomous comeback?"
- >"I don't feel like fighting."
- >Blink.
- "Well that's new."
- 19/?
- >"Oh shush, we've been together a day, you don't even know me."
- "No, I don't."
- >"...But I'd like you to."
- >...
- >You sigh and squeeze her closer to you with an arm.
- >Stare at the ceiling with what is apparently now your partner resting on you.
- >Hell of a way to start the week.
- >Food is going to be a serious issue soon.
- >Celestia will no doubt want to track you down.
- >And you don't even have any clothes.
- >Then again, you also have an entire empire to yourselves.
- >Look down at Sombra.
- >She's snoozing against you.
- >The unsettled look she wore the previous night has vanished.
- >She seems almost content now.
- >Still dangerously unstable.
- >And angry.
- >But content.
- >You?
- >Well, you just became the proud co-owner of an empire.
- >That has to count for something, right?
- >Sure, not everything turned out well, but at least it's an fun change of pace.
- >Sombra coos softly in her sleep.
- >She's an interesting mare.
- >Certainly more so than the other partners you've had since you showed up here.
- >And definitely more easily agitated.
- >But she's got a weird sort of appeal about her.
- >Maybe it's the eyes.
- >Plus, you broke a world record and got yourself a marefriend within 20 hours of meeting her.
- >If you had friends, they'd no doubt be patting you on the back.
- >Throughout your thoughts, you find yourself smiling.
- >Looks like you were right, though.
- >This whole thing -did- end in sex.
- 20/20
- The End.
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement