CYOA - Discord

>Today had been a good day
>Dash had shown you cool as fuck tricks
>Pinkie Pie made you your own personal cake
>Nothing had gone wrong
>Yeah, today was a good day
>And it had come to a fine end, too
>Your bed is so very comfortable
>Soft and cuddly
>It always feels great to lay down here after a good day
>And every day here was good
>Equestria didn't have a fraction of the problems Earth did
>No polution, bad economy, none of that
>It was a great place
>With a content sigh, you fully prepare yourself for sleep
>Slowly you drift off to dreamland
>Just as you're about to fully slip away
>"Oh, so YOU'RE the human."
"WAH!"
>The shock fucks you up and you fall out of the bed
>You get up as quickly as possible
>Looking around the room, you see no one
>Maybe it was just a dream
>You make sure to check everywhere, but there is nothing
>After looking inside the closet, you turn around
>Before you stands a monster the likes of which you have never seen
>You freak out and almost fall over again
>It's made up of multiple animals
>And it is tall as hell
>"Hi! Name's Discord, nice to meet you!"
>His... paw is reaching out for a handshake

>He's magnificent
>The most amazing creature you have ever laid your eyes on
>Something about him is drawing you in
>Calling you to him
>You want him
>You need him
>You really like his tail
>Just looking at him is getting your dick rock hard
>Without thinking, you leap at him
>Whether he wants to or not, you're having sex with him
>You're surprised when instead of hitting him, you hit the floor
>Your lungs almost collapse from the impact
>"Oh my, you're an eager fellow."
>You turn your head and see Discord behind you
>He's chuckling at you
>"I never thoughts I should see something so strange in Equestria."
>He moves closer to you and inspects you
>With his paw and talon he pokes you
>"It's quite refreshing to see something that doesn't belong here."
>Once more he chuckles
>"You and I could make such great friends, don't you think?"

>You snap out of it
>What the hell was wrong with you?
>Despite your aching legs, you get up
>You dust yourself off before shaking his hand
"Yeah, uh, sorry about that. I dunno what I was thinking."
>Discord laughs heartily at that
>"That happens to me more often than you think."
>He vanishes in the blink of an eye
>You panic for a second before seeing him on the bed
>"How in the world did you get here?"
>Discord is eyeing you carefully
>You just shrug
"I dunno. I just kind of woke up in this world."
>"Hm. Well, I'm glad you're here! Now I might finally have a true friend!"
>You have no idea what this guy is talking about
"What the hell are you even?"
>"A draconequus. And a quite beautiful one at that."
>Discord chuckles at his own joke
>He seemed like a cheery fellow
>"And you're a human. I've never seen anything quite like you."
>With his large eyes he still inspects you
>Like you're some sort of amazing natural phenomenon

>You shrug again
"Well, I am the only human here, after all. Anyway, weren't you the guy Celestia imprisoned?"
>Discord sighs overdramatically
>"Yes! Celestia imprisoned me! Oh, it was horrible! Encased in stone all those years! And I never even harmed anyone!"
>He hangs his head low
>"All I wanted was a little bit of fun."
>A loud sniff fills the room
>"I'm not a bad guy."
>He looks to you with sadness in his eyes
>Celestia told you he was a horrible monster
>But he doesn't seem too bad to you
"You seem all right to me."
>Discord lights up at that
>He claps his hands together and smiles
>"Oh, wonderful! Someone likes me!"
>You're not sure if he's being serious
>If he isn't, then he's actually a pretty funny guy
"Well, do you think that, together, we could get revenge on Celestia for imprisoning you?"
>Discord's face changes immediately
>He looks to you with serious eyes
>His smile is long gone
>"I actually came here to see if you would be good enough for just that job. I need someone like you."
>You're not sure what this guy is all about
>But you're slighly scared of him
>He must be powerful if Celestia banished him
>"I want revenge on that pitiful mare. But although powerful, I need help. You would be perfect. Care to join me in a bit of chaotic fun?"

>You bow deeply in front of him
"Oh captain, my captain."
>A devious smile creeps upon his lips
>"Good, good."
>Discord teleports himself next to you
>He puts his paw around your shoulders
>"Listen, Celestia is going to know I've escaped. I need you to lead her in the wrong direction."
>You look up at him
>The devious smile is still there
"And how do you want me do that?"
>Discord chuckles
>"Tell her you've seen me with her student. That should do it."
>That wasn't actually a bad idea
>But why would Celestia even ask you?
>Oh, well, it'd be fun at least
>"She will probably come tomorrow. Dear Tia doesn't like wasting time. With anything."
>He chuckles at the end of that
>Dear God
>You really don't want to hear about that
>At all
>"So tell me, what is your name, and do you have magical powers?"

"No name, and I'm omnipotent. Or is it the other way around?"
>Discord laughs loudly
>"I like you! Just the right guy for this job!"
>He pats your back harder than you expected
>You almost fall to the ground
>He goes back to your bed and sits down
>"What a nice house you've got."
>This dude cannot keep a train of thought
"Uh, it's good, yeah."
>"I can stay here for a while, right?"
>You hadn't really thought about that
>But it would make sense he didn't have a place of his own
"Sure, I guess."
>"Great!"
>With the snap of his fingers, Discord transforms the whole room
>Furniture goes on the walls
>The walls are instantly painted with polka dots
>A small, pink cloud appears
>Discord conjures a glass and squeezes it
>Out comes chocolate milk
>This shit is too bizzare
>"I'm the god of chaos, by the way. What about you?"
>You're still looking around at your home
>Everything's changed
>Colors are different, things are upside down
>All because he snapped his fingers
>Maybe this guy wasn't the best for ruling Equestria

>Still, you have to admit it's pretty cool
>You wonder what else this guy can do
"I like the decoration! Can you make my clothes more... appropriate?"
>Discord takes one look at you and snaps his fingers
>You look down at yourself
>Your shirt looks like it was made of bacon
>Big, pink, fluffy slippers are on your feet
>One half of your pants is made of belts
>The other half only reaches your knee and is adorned with happy, smiling faces
>You're also wearing a hat
>And apparently Discord thought it fitting to give you a hat that looks like a giant eyeball
>All of it is fucking retarded
>But Discord just laughs and claps
>"Aren't you the dashing fellow?"
>You bow deeply and chuckle
"Thank you, sire. By the way, I'm Anon. No powers, no nothing."
>Discord sighs lightly
>"Well, asking for magical powers would have been too much, I guess."
>He shrugs and gets back to drinking glass
>After drinking the entire glass, he juggles the solid chocolate milk around
>He tosses it higher and higher into the air before catching it with his mouth
>After quickly eating it, it seemingly explodes in his stomach
>"I do love good chocolate! Mmh!"

>This guy really is something
>Even though he seems odd, he is strangely fun to be around
"So, what would you like to do first?"
>Discord chuckles and raises his arms above his head
>"We can do anything we want!"
>With another poof, Discord materializes behind you
>You feel his claw and paw on your shoulders
>With a gentle whisper, he breathes into your ear
>"We could take the moon to ourselves!"
>Another poof and he's on the ceiling
>Actually, he IS the ceiling
>"We could turn all of Pinkie Pie's cakes into alligators!"
>A third poof, and Discord is standing in front of you
>Except, he's not a guy anymore
>He's a woman
>Looking at this... thing, you feel it coming
>The ever familiar sensation of rocky hardness in your pants
>As SHE looks directly into your eye, she bats her eyelashes
>Your brain is asking "Why?", but your boner is saying "Go, go, go!"
>"Or, we could just go on a date, oh sweet and dear Anon."
>Her voice is sugary sweet and coated in maple syrup
>It actually kind of looks like she's got syrup in her mouth
>But you can tell she's having a hard time not laughing

>Although not a strange sensation to you, a whyboner is not what you want right now
>With quick and stealthy movements you shuffle around to hide it
>Discord chuckles and moves closer
>"Oh, Anon, what was that?"
>As you nervously eye the creature, you gulp loudly
"L-Let's go to Pinkie. That sounds fun."
>Once again, Discord chuckles
>After a quick poof, he's back to his previous form
>"It does, doesn't it? I'm sure Pinkie would appreciate the prank, too! She so does love my antics!"
>You silently exhale as the whyboner in your pants slowly disappears
>"But she can't see me like this, no no. I'll have to be your silent companion! A watchful protector!"
>With another poof, Discord has disappeared
>You look around before feeling something shifting in your pocket
>A small rat sticks it ugly head out
>It's wearing a black mask and cape
>"I am Batrat! And you shall be my vessel, Anon! Onwards!"
>Discord points his paw towards the door
>With a chuckle, you leave the house
>It's dark outside, but some ponies are still up and about
>The two of you walk through the streets toward Sugarcube Corner
>As the two of you reach the shop, you see Pinkie outside
>She's preparing a sign for the morning
>"All you can eat, 20 bits! 25 bits and Pinkie sings you a song!"
>Pinkie spins in place at the sound of your footsteps
>"Hi, Anon! The awesome deal is tomorrow, silly! Go home and sleep! We're closed."

>That deal sounded sweet
>And you were actually pretty hungry
>Pinkie's songs were great, too
>The sudden disappointment overtakes your mind
>Although you came here for fun, you feel yourself frown
>Pinkie simply smiles and opens her mouth
>Before she can begin her speech about being happy and not worrying, you pick up Discord
>Just as the two of them are about to speak, you toss him
>With a measly "Eep!", Discord lands in the middle of Pinkie's face
>The party pony barely flinches from the impact
>Her eyes are plastered to the masked rat on her face
>Like a ticking bomb, you see the smile increasing
>The smile that usually explodes into a rant about happiness joy
>Instantly, you turn around and leg it
>There is no way you want to be around either Discord or Pinkie right now
>Unfortunately you don't get further than a few meters before Discord teleports himself in front of you
>"You know, I thought we came here to have fun."
>For the first time since meeting him, you see Discord frown
>"Tossing around Batrat might be fun for you, but reliable sources tell me Batrat prefers to fly himself."

"Sorry, I panicked."
>Discord quickly transforms himself back into his rat form
>"Apology accepted."
>Not wanting to risk any more exposure, you walk back towards your home
>Sleeping would probably do you a lot of good
>As you return inside, Discord is rambling on
>He's got a million ideas for the strangest pranks you've ever heard of
>Making Twilight's books talk
>Turn clouds into sharks to chase Rainbow Dash
>Transform Lyra into a giant hand
>You admit some of it sounded awesome
>But for now, you really needed sleep
>A hint of sadness appears in Discord's eye as you lie down
>But he quickly moves on to the next best thing
>Apparently that's having a conversation with your kitchen equipment
>As he's talking away, you drift off to sleep

>The next morning comes around
>But instead of being woken by either Discord or the gentle rays of sun, it's a knock on your door
>Groggy and half-naked, you walk to the door
>As you're slumping towards it, another hard knock lands on the wood
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming."
>Opening the door, you're greeted with a harsh stare
>Two royal guards are glaring at you
>Behind them is the unmistakable form of Celestia
>Without even letting you get dressed, she asks
>"Anon, Discord is loose. I need to know if you have seen anything. I know this is sudden, but this is important. The safety of Equestria is in jeopardy."
>Her gaze and tone is that of a ruler, not a loving mentor

>You're sleepy as shit
>It must be like six in the morning
>And Celestia is seriously expecting you to know what she's talking about
"What's a Discord?"
>One of the two royal guards smacks his hoof into his face
>Celestia's lips turn into one of her signature smiles
>Those warm, calming smiles
>"I realize it is early in the morning, and I apologize for that."
>With no more than a gaze, she sends her guards away
>Without even asking, she enters your house
>You gently close the door behind her
>"Discord is the god of chaos. The very same one I imprisoned in stone. He reigned terror on Equestria a while back, before you came. It is imperative that I find him as quickly as possible."
>Slowly it's all coming back to you
>Discord
>He came to your house
>Oh, yeah, now you remember
>But you agreed to not rat him out
>He was a pretty cool guy after all
>He made chaos and didn't afraid of anything
>There was also something about misleading Celestia
>And you weren't exactly sure how Discord treated deserters
>With what he did last night, it seems his power was unrivaled
>Making your body explode in a shower of confetti was probably within his reach
>"So, Anon, I need to know if you have seen anything strange. Anything unusual at all. We NEED to find Discord. Equestria isn't safe anymore."

>Looking her right in the eye, you shrug
"Nothing's going on at the moment. Is it really THAT bad?"
>Celestia's face turns
>You have never seen this happen before
>Worry and guilt are quite normal emotions
>But plastered on the face of the sun goddess scares you
>Not only has her face twisted into a sick, brooding version of herself, she seems to be radiating it
>The air around the two of you are thick with venom
>It's seeping through your skin, right to your bones
>Decaying your flesh and rotting your soul
>Although you respected Celestia before, this was different
>You no longer respected the ruler in front of you
>You feared her
>Celestia's command of people around her was frightening
>How glad you are she is a benevolent ruler
>"Yes, it's that bad. What happened to turn Discord into this monster happened long ago, and I regret every part of it. But the fact remains that he could destroy the world if he so pleased."
>Celestia's eyes command your attention
>And you give it to her in full
>"Discord has power unknown to any unicorn ever alive. Even to me. He is not to be trifled with, Anon. Discord is dangerous. And we need to find him."

>Fear creeps through your body
>Like a snake it creeps and crawls
>Slithering its way to your brain
>Taking over your nerves
>Like a parasite it feeds on your
>Slowly assuming control of your mind
"I... I cannot tell a lie. I've been seeing Discord for a while. Being his minion and such."
>This time, Discord doesn't bother to hide his laughter
>"Seeing me? Oh my, Anon. I didn't know we were already dating."
>Celestia pays him no mind
>Her gaze is locked on you
>And it is one of utter disbelief and disappointment
>"Anon? Why would-"
>Celestia stops mid-sentence
>And she just stands there
>Staring right at you
>As if frozen in place she stands
>Worry and fear leaves you as it is replaced with confusion
>For a moment you wait before speaking
"Uh, Celestia?"
>The ruler does not reply
>Discord materializes on top of her
>He's sitting on her as if riding her
>"Oh, Celestia won't be responding for a long while, I'm afraid."
>The god of chaos pats her head as if she was a mere kitten
>"She makes quite the live statue, don't you think? Oh, and don't worry about the guards. They enjoy being mice, I heard."
>Discord erupts into laughter
>But not the happy kind
>It's an evil, greedy laugh
>One that tells tales of his twisted mind
>His sick pleasure of demoralizing powerful beings

>Although Discord is demented
>A proper whack-job
>It is quite funny seeing Celestia like this
>As Discord laughs, you join him
>The two of you fill your home with laughter
>Pure, innocent, joyous laughter
>It's been a long time since you've laughed this hard
>Tears are streaming down your face
>Your stomach and jaw is hurting
>But none of that matters
>The joy of chaos is consuming every part of you
>Now you understand why Discord loves this so much
"W-We should totally mess with her."
>As you get up, you move to touch her
>"NO!"
>Discord roars at you in anger
>"Don't touch her! Whatever you do, do NOT touch her!"
>The previous joy on his face has been replaced with anger
>"No one but me can touch her, understand? No one!"
>Discord is staring intently at you
>Burning his determination into your mind

"Don't you mean no pony?"
>Although Discord has turned stern, you haven't
>There is always room for another joke
>It's even so good you yourself snicker
>But Discord doesn't even blink
>His face is still burning with anger and determination
>"You cannot under any circumstances touch her, do you understand?"
>Whatever it is, it can't be that bad
>And a chance to mess with the ruler of Equestria is too good to pass up
>Once again, you move your hand towards her
>Faster than you can realize, Discord pushes you away
>With a loud 'thud', you fall to the floor
>Discord has almost crawled on top of you
>He's flaring his fangs at you
>"Do you not understand what I'm saying? Are you hearing impaired?"
>With a poof, he transforms himself into an air horn
>Your entire mind is filled with the loud screeching of the horn
>"DO NOT TOUCH HER!"
>All of your hair is almost blown off
>How ponies haven't yet realized something is wrong here, you have no idea
>But all you can focus on right now is the angry Discord above you
>You shake your head to regain hearing
>"-ever touch her, I'm going to have to murder you, do you understand?"
>Discord doesn't sound any less pleased than before
>Still he fumes with fury and wrath unbeknownst to man

"... Are you gonna rape her? 'Cause that's not cool, man."
>Discord recoils in shock
>It seems even the god of chaos isn't all-knowing and powerful
>He quickly gets off of you and turns to face Celestia
>You slowly stand up and stare at him
>"Rape her? Oh, no, Anon, I'm not."
>Discord chuckles lightly and puts a talon on her muzzle
>With a claw he gently caresses her cheek
>"For what she did, she deserves all that is evil in this world."
>His voice is quiet and dark
>Almost as if speaking to himself
>"Dear Tia here will get what she deserves. For what she did to me. And there are thing far worse than rape. Magic works in mysterious ways."
>With his claw, he cuts a tiny wound in her cheek
>Drops of blood spill onto her pure, white fur
>"Hm, it seems even she bleeds. Just like any mortal."
>Finally he turns to face you
>In his eyes you see age
>Old and weary age
>An old, tired man's stare
>"Celestia is powerful, and as am I. Locking her up requires power I do not fully control. If you ever lay a finger on her, I can't tell you what would happen. An explosion of magic would be unleashed upon this world."
>Discord leans down and looks you right in the eye
>"Do not touch her. Ever. Understood?"

"But what if any of the others find her?"
>Twilight and the others would no doubt go to touch her instantly
>And while Discord is powerful, he can't be everywhere at once
>He simply replies to your question with a smile
>A snap of his fingers and Celestia is gone
>"That won't be a problem."
>There isn't a single trace of the ruler
>Teleportation was normal here
>But making actual ponies disappear was much different
>Even Twilight couldn't do that
>"She'll be safe and sound in my lair."
"You have a lair?"
>Discord chuckles heartily
>"Of course I have a lair. What kind of villain doesn't have a lair?"
>With those words, he turns and exits your home
>You follow him outside
>He is simply standing there
>Staring at Ponyville in all its glory
>"Look at this beautiful world. Isn't it simply amazing? So full of life and joy. What a bore."
>With the snap of his fingers, the world twists
>As if reality bends before your eyes, the world is transformed
>Flying cows appear in the sky
>Ponds are hovering through the air
>The sky has turned brown
>Beneath your feet, the ground has turned into square blocks
>Slowly, everything is changing
>Transforming itself into a nonsensical mockery of the world that used to be
>And already ponies' screams fill the air
>Screams of terror and fear
>And it isn't long before a familiar purple unicorn is staring right at you
>Down the road she stands
>Disbelief in her enormous eyes
>Discord puts his paw on your shoulder and looks right at her

>It was only a matter of time before she showed up
>And she could be quite the problem
>The elements were powerful enough to banish Discord
>And you would no doubt be imprisoned or executed after allying with him
>But you feel an odd sense of comfort near Discord
>Like nothing can harm the two of you at all
"Ah, Twilight Sparkle. Right on schedule."
>This whole villain thing is getting to you
>It is quite fun, after all
>The unicorn charges toward the two of you
>As she runs, her horn begins lighting up
>Discord snickers before snapping his fingers
>You feel something appear in your hands
>Looking down, you see Twilight's horn in your grip
>Discord laughs as the unicorn comes closer
>She still hasn't realized
>With a devilish grin, you wave the horn at her
>Twilight skids to a halt
>Panic is slowly settling in her small body
>But she doesn't falter
>That would be quite unlike her, too
>"Discord! Where is Celestia?! What have you done?!"
>Discord merely walks over to the horn-less unicorn and speaks
>"Oh, she is quite safe, I assure you. A bit busy being frozen, I'm afraid. I'm the new queen of Equestria, you see."
>Twilight snorts at the god
>"We've defeated you before, and we'll do it again! The Elements of Harmony will banish you again!"
>The purple pony looks to you, anger searing in her gaze
>"I thought we could trust you."
>Her little mouth is frowning at you
>Like a child not getting things done her way

>A slight giggle escapes your mouth
"Humans are one of the worst creatures in the universe. Haven't I mentioned this?"
>Twilight simply stares at you
>It reminds you of your old friend
>The stare he gave you before walking away
>So very much alike to what you were seeing before you
>"No, you must have forgotten that."
>Discord chuckles in the little pony's face
>"Lighten up! Everything is going to be fine! It'll be fun! No one's been hurt. Relax, Twilight. You can go back to studying."
>Twilight snaps her attention back to the god
>"No. I'm going to go get the Elements and my friends. At the end of the day, you'll be gone, Discord."
>Twilight begins her walk down what used to be the streets of Ponyville
>Now it was just a mishmash of floating houses, cows, and chameleons jumping on their tongues
>"There is no night and day anymore, Twilight."
>Discord keeps taunting her until she is out of ear's reach
>When she's finally gone, he returns to you
>"She is stubborn, I'll give her that. But she can go get her silly trinkets. They won't be doing her any good."
"Why not? Didn't they defeat you in the past?"
>Discord nods and jumps onto an upside-down motorcycle
>"Yes, but I've taken my precautions. The Elements are safely hidden away in my lair, don't you worry."
>He pats the backseat of the ride gently
>"Care for a ride, Anon?"

"Well, I can't really get off. So here I go."
>You jump onto the vehicle in slow-motion
>Must be another of Discord's tricks
>In mid-air you suddenly turn and land safely on the back seat
>Discord conjures up some cheap sunglasses for the two of you
>With his mighty paw, Discord revs up the engine
>"Let's go on a never-ending ride, Anon."
>In an instant, the two of you speed off
>You must be going hundreds of miles per hour
>But speed doesn't matter on a gravity defying, flying, upside-down motorcycle
>All that matters is the wind in your hair and the freedom in your soul
>Within mere seconds the two of you are at Canterlot Castle
>Or at least what used to be Canterlot Castle
>Discord has transformed the place into a pancake house
>After giving it a quick lick, he giggles and skeedaddles inside
>You follow the god inside and look around
>Everything is made of cake, syrup, and strawberries
>It's actually quite delicious, too
>"Welcome to my not-hidden lair! Not to be confused with my hidden lair!"
>Discord gracefully bows before going at the walls with his mouth
>To his right is the second princess
>She's been incapacitated by syrup
>Her entire body is glistening with the sugary stuff
"Lemme guess: no touching?"
>Discord looks up from his meal and chuckles
>"Oh, no. Touch this one all you want."
>He starts digging a tunnel into the walls with his newly transformed drill-arm
>"Choo choo!"

>This was a golden opportunity
>Here was the goddess of the night
>Completely frozen in place
>Not able to fight back
>You can do anything you want
>And there is one thing you've been craving for such a long time
>With the swiftest of movements, you move behind her
>Luna's tail is so generously lifted
>Everything was perfect
>You jump out of your pants in a nearly magical way
"All aboard the Anal Express!"
>"Choo choo!"
>Discord's voice echoes through the tunnel and into the grand hall
>You grab a hold of yourself and thrust forward
>The following pain is unlike anything you have ever experienced
>As you slump to the floor in agony, you feel the burning sensation spreading
>In this very moment, you are glad penises have no bones
>Turns out hardened syrup is in fact very, very hard
>And it is not something you should trust your dick directly into
>You can almost feel Luna's cocky smile as you lie on the floor, writhing in pain
>Tears are blurring your vision, but you see Discord stick his head out from the tunnel
>"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you about that. My bad. You can pet the outer layer, though! It's not every day you get to pet a pretty pony princess!"

>Discord disappears back into his tunnel and resumes digging
>For a few moments you simply lie there
>It takes a while for the pain to subside
>But as it finally disappears, you get up
>Luna is still standing there, frozen as she is
>You can tell she enjoyed your pain
>Even if she isn't conscious, she enjoyed it
>But you'd be damned if she got the last laugh
>Instead of putting your pants back on, you put them on her head
>They sit quite nicely on top of her crowned head
>Luna looks like nothing more than a court jester any longer
>The sight sends you into a explosion of laughter
>Your sounds of joy echo all the way through Discord's tunnel
>"What are you- Oh my sweet tooth!"
>Discord crawls all the way out and joins you
>His cheerful laughter booms through the cake castle
>He puts his arm around your shoulder and enjoys the sight of Luna
>It seems she is capable of moving enough to frown at the two of you
>But you pay her no mind
>Your mind is being devoured by the fun
>How could ponies ever lock this guy up?
>"All right, Discord! You're going- ... What the?"
>You turn and see the six famous ponies standing in the doorway
>All of them are looking at you in shock
>"W-What are you doing? Why are you not wearing pants?"
>The two of you simply look at each other before erupting into laughter
>"Hey! We're here to defeat you! You might wanna quit laughing now!"
>Rainbow Dash was always so serious
>Never ever fun to be had with her
>Except for watching her crash

>The six ponies approach you as you roll around in the sweets
>Everything about the situation makes you laugh
>Nothing makes sense, but it's brilliant
>Even as they stand around you, you can't help but laugh
>They don't have their Elements
>There's absolutely nothing they can do
>"Oh, you can laugh all you want Discord."
>For an unarmed pony, Twilight sure does sound cocky
>"Even without the Elements, we can still defeat you."
>Once again you look to Discord
>You can't help but continue laughing
>These ponies were actually serious
>"Because you see, the magic of friendship doesn't need any crowns or jewelery. All we need is each other, because true friendship-"
>Discord snaps his fingers
>With a magical poof, the six ponies around you become ponies no longer
>As you look around, all you see is delicious pudding with eyes and mouths
>"Oooh! I look delicious!"
>Pinkie is already gnawing at her own pudding body
>"T-True friendship will win this! Because friendship is-"
"Pudding!"
>Discord is literally crying from laughter
>You hear Twilight continuing her protesting
>But nothing ever comes of it
>No magical rainbow to banish you
>No re-transformation to pony form
>Discord finally calms himself down and gets up
>"My dear ponies: give up. There is nothing you can do. I've won. Just go enjoy the chaos!"
>He chuckles at the pudding ponies before taking a bite out of Dash
>"Hey!"
>"Anon, please. Help us. You can still be good."
>Twilight is whispering to you
>Pleading

>You smile at the former pony
"Do I get super cool powerups?"
>Although you've never seen a pudding frown, you're sure that's what just happened
>It looks absolutely hilarious
>But for once you actually hold back the laughter
>Twilight does deserve the respect of being listened to
>She was turned into a pudding, after all
>"Is that all you are, Anon?"
>As you stare at her in confusion, she continues
>"A greedy, power-hungry human. Is this a game to you?"
>Twilight's voice seems oddly familiar
>Like that of a particular white princess
>That very same voice which demanded respect
>"You've been our friend for so long, and now this? Now we're nothing but objects to be played with? Because you want 'cool powerups'?"
>Twilight spits a piece of pudding at your feet
>If she got any more angry, she'd probably melt into a puddle
>"I can't believe you. We took you in, gave you shelter. We listened to your cries for help and acceptance when you first got here."
>Discord clears his throat
>"Yes, that is quite the tear-jerking speech, dear Twilight. But Anon is with me, you see? Finally someone appreciates my chaos."
>He turns his gaze to you and smiles deviously
>"Isn't that right, Anon?"

>You simply nod at your partner in crime
"Yep."
>Finally she relents
>There is nothing to be done
>You are with Discord now
>And you have never been more happy
>It's going to be a life full of fun and joy
"Discord, could you turn Twilight into a sweater of tears?"
>With a deep, ironic bow, Discord snaps his fingers
>Before Twilight can even protest, her pudding body is gone
>Instead, she is now a floating sweater made of tears
>Sweet, salty tears
>"Let me go! Turn me back into a pony right now!"
>She's starting to sound more and more like Rainbow Dash
>"But Twilight, this is great! We can be all sorts of stuff! Oooh! Turn me into a cake!"
>Discord happily complies and turns the pink pony into a delicious cake
>With no regard to her own body, Pinkie starts chewing away
>Every other pony has given up long ago
>Only Twilight is still fighting
>The last rebel
>A loud smack snaps you out of it
>Everyone's heads, or pudding bodies, turn towards the main entrance
>In it stands a tall, while pony
>Her legs are shaking
>Her fur is singed
>And her eyes burn with anger and the thirst for vengeance
>"This ends... now!"
>Celestia takes a few wobbly steps forward
>Her eyes are locked onto Discord
>You're feeling legitimately afraid now
>"Dear, how did you escape my lair? Oh well, no matter. Care for some syrup?"
>Celestia easily deflects the spell
>But it takes all of her willpower to do so
>"When I cast a spell, you stab her."
>Discord's voice echoes through your mind
>You feel something materialize in your pocket
>Looking down, you see something resembling a knife
>Except the blade is glowing a bright blue
>"We can't have her around anymore. We have to rule this place together. You and me, Anon."

>You're not sure whether the telepathy extends to your thoughts
>But instead of speaking, you simply think "Yes"
>Celestia wobbles forward on her shaky legs
>"It's been... thousands of years, Discord. Let it go..."
>Discord chuckles at the mare
>"I'm afraid it's too late for that, dear. I waited a long time."
>Celestia groans in pain as she moves forward
>"We could have... could have..."
>"Could have what? Been friends? Oh, my dear Tia, you still don't understand me, do you?"
>Although in terrible shape and visible pain, Celestia manages a smile
>A motherly and tender smile
>"I know you... well enough. You... never changed."
>Discord reaches out and gently pats her muzzle
>With a smile on his lips, Discord sends you a telepathic signal
>"My dear, I've changed so very much."
>Celestia was more than ready for his spell
>But as all of her attention goes to deflect it, you strike
>With inhuman speed, you draw your blade and bury it deep within her
>"NO!"
>Twilight desperately tries to get closer, but to no avail
>Although she has a blade stuck in her body, Celestia barely flinches
>Her eyes are still locked with Discord's
>The smile hasn't faded
>In fact, it seems to have grown warmer and stronger
>"You ha-haven't changed... a, a bit... m-my dear..."
>Blood is quietly dripping from her mouth
>Her legs have almost given up
>Even her hair is fading
>The magical energies disappearing
>It's no more than an actual mane any longer
>A solid, pink one
>"T-Thank you..."
>For the first time in a long while, confusion strikes Discord's face
>"For... for ev-everyth-thing..."
>With her final breath, Celestia falls to the ground
>Her fur is soaked in her own, royal blood
>Complete silence overtakes the room
>Not even Twilight can manage words
>Every eye in the room has fallen onto the former ruler
>"No..."
>Twilight slowly floats through the air
>Moving ever closer to her mentor
>"W-Wake up... Please..."
>She need not cry
>After all, she has become tears themselves
>And those tears stay so very close to the body on the floor
>"Please..."

>As she lies there, broken and dead, you feel nothing but disgust
>This was the ruler of Equestria
>This mere, mortal mare
>In the end, she couldn't even protect her subjects
>What a pitiful ruler
>She bleeds like any other
>Dies like any other
>Yet she kept herself high on a pedestal
>As if better than everyone else
>It makes you sick to your very core
>Disgust wells up in you and manifests itself as saliva
>With great force, you spit onto her corpse
"That's for waking me up at fucking six in the morning."
>"I WILL MURDER YOU!"
>Twilight's voice roars through the castle
>But she's a sweater made of tears
>She means nothing to you any more
>Without even looking at her, you go towards Rarity
>Accompanied by panicked screams, she tries to get away
>She doesn't get anywhere in her current pudding form
>As relaxation washes over your body, you sit down next to her
>You never did have marshmallow pudding before
>It does taste very good, though
>Rarity's screams fill your very mind as you eat her
>"PLEASE HELP ME! SOMEONE! ANYONE!"
>Ignoring the screams are easy
>She never liked you anyway
>All she was is a stuck up cunt
>And you silence that mare once and for all
>Enjoying every last bite of her as you do so
>When you put the very last piece in your mouth, you feel a hand on your shoulder
>Actually it's a talon
>Discord is staring at you
>He is not angry, but disappointed
>"Celestia may have been in the way, but what you did was over the line. Never do that again."

>He reminds you of your father
>That very same father who never seemed to be proud of you
>Discord's stare so perfectly mimics the face of disappointment
"Understood, m'lord."
>His grip around your shoulder tightens
>"I don't think you understand."
>There is no chaos in his eyes
>No joy at the death of the ruler
>For once, Discord seems like any other person
>"I may be the god of chaos, but even I have lines. You crossed it."
>Fear grabs a sudden hold of you
>With his great strength, Discord pulls you up
>He looks you right in the eye
>Although there is no fury in his look, he frightens you
>"There's making fun of ponies, and there's being disrespectful. Despite what you might think of me, I hold respect very dearly."
>Discord's voice is dark and quiet
>Almost a mere whisper
>"You're of no use to me. You don't deserve what I have given you."
>With the snap of his fingers, the five remaining ponies are back
>And you suddenly feel sick to your stomach
>Before being able to do anything, you're violently vomiting everywhere
>Chunks of white pudding come shooting up
>Once your stomach is completely empty, Discord snaps his fingers again
>Rarity returns to her pony form, albeit wet from being in your stomach
>"He's all yours, girls."
>With a final poof, Discord vanishes from sight
>You're surrounded by six ponies
>Six furious ponies
>But Twilight is the one who scares you
>You barely recognize her anymore
>She has become vengeance incarnate
>"You..."

>Slowly she moves closer
>Inches towards you
>There is no remorse in her eyes
>No forgiveness
>And she has all of her power
>All of her anger-fueled powers
>There is no way you're getting out of this one
>"I will murder you..."
>"Twilight-"
>"Shut up, AJ! He killed Celestia! HE! KILLED! CELESTIA! HE DOESN'T GET TO LIVE!"
>Twilight is roaring at her friend
>And even though Applejack would protest, she doesn't
>She simply steps aside for her friend
>Let's her continue with her evil deed
>Knowing the anger residing within her, it was probably going to be a painful end
>She could torture you for weeks
>And with her magic, there is no telling what might happen to you
>There is no way you were going to risk that
>Before Twilight can take you, you grab the blade from Celestia
>What remaining blood she has pours out as the blade is removed
>You don't even think before plunging the blade into your stomach
>It's magical powers are already taking effect
>Within seconds you feel darkness coming
>"NO! YOU DON'T GET TO TAKE THE EASY WAY!"
>You feel Twilight grabbing a hold of you
>Shaking your limp body around
>But it's too late
>You have succeeded
>The darkness is coming
>Whether she likes it or not
>As serenity claims your mind, her words are drowning
>You see her mouth move, but there is no sound
>You feel yourself being flung against the wall
>And moments before you hit the ground, everything goes black
>And in the darkness, you see a white, forgiving ruler
>Her face is adorned with a smile
>A motherly smile
>And as she smiles down upon you, you feel comfort
>Feel the warmth spreading in your body
>She unfolds her wing and drapes you in it
>And in that very moment
>As you stay close to her vast and majestic softness
>In that moment you find peace
>Your heart finally stopping and letting go
>Your mind finally saying goodbye
>Darkness gives, darkness takes

End.