Day 4 completed

>The sperglord makes his glorious return
>Breathing heavily through his fat lipped mouth he begins shuffling his inflated body around the side of your car
>TS: "Everypony quick lock the doors!"
>AJ: "And how do you propose we do that Twi! There ain't no...HEY!"
>The sperglord moved with desperate velocity as he opened the door and reached for Applejack
>His heavy breathing intensified as he scrambled his fat salami arms inside the car trying to wrap them around AJ
>Suddenly a flash of blue light shot at the blubbery behemoth and knocked him back into a pile of his own kind. Garbage.
>TS: "Quick close the door and lock it!"
>AJ: "How in tarnation.?"
>TS: "Just push down that button!"
>AJ complied and closed the door pushing down the lock.
>Twilight locks her side as well and Rainbow locks both your doors
>The sperglord recovers quickly as his massive fat stores replenish the wound
>He gets up and launches himself at the door again and his autism leaks when he can't get it open
>He slams his bologna hands on the side of your car and starts rocking it when he sees Lyra
> "L-Ly-Lyra!?" He laughs like that annoying 6 year old cunt you knew in grade school
> "Lyra? Look im a human. See i have hands."
> The sperg unfolds his sweaty engorged appendage and plasters it on your window smiling his shit eating grin
>The girls become more afraid as they come to the realization that everything you said was true. He even knew Lyra's name.
>His eyes are fixated on no one else but Lyra sitting in the middle of your car on Fluttershy's lap
> "You like humans right Lyra? That means you'll like me. Right?"
>Silence.
>Nopony moves as Lyra slowly comes to the realization that this guy is fucking nuts.
>Lyra's face contorts at the disgust this thing is making her feel
>The sperg sees her reaction and flips his shit
> "SAY YOU LIKE ME!!! IM A HUMAN DAMMIT!! YOU LIKE HUMANS!! THATS WHAT THE FANDOM SAYS!! AAAAHHH!!!"
>The ham planet motherfucker starts rocking your car again and screaming at the top of his lungs.
>The girls inside are doing the same
>Suddenly the rocking stops as something heavy hits the jackass in his ear
>He stops screaming and starts whining as he puts his hand to his ear and falls to the floor in pain
>The girls look out the window and see their savior hauling ass
>Looking at his hand the sperg cries when he sees blood
>It was quite a shot anon, you always sucked at baseball but somehow you lined up your shot perfectly this time
>You take one last step before launching the entire weight of your body into your fist and connect with the spergs face
>You hit him right in the eye and he goes down for the count
>Losing your balance you also fall and land next to him
>The girls do their best to look at you from inside the car without opening anything
>You're okay. Just a bruised shoulder is all.
>You stand back up and ponder on taking his shoes.
>The though of the stench of his greasy unkempt feet stinking up your car is too much for you
>Still you said you would take them
>TS: "Anon what are you doing?"
"Just a sec."
>You hold your breath as you bend over to untie his shoes
>Now that they're both off you hold them up and arm's length and tie the laces together
>You look up and spot a powerline not too far away and toss them
>First try. Hell yeah.
>Now you look back down and see the prius this faggot used to sneak up on the girls blocking your way out the alley.
"Alright girls, I just have one more thing to take care of and then we're getting the hell outta here."
>You take another deep breath and rummage through his pockets for his keys.
>Sure enough he has the most autistic of keychains with at least twenty different fandoms represented and defiled by his kind
>You jangle the keys in your hand and consider the weight as you reach into his car and turn the ignition.
>Just before you put the car in reverse you catch a glimpse of the girls waving at you
>Their screaming is muffled but you take it it's not good news.
>Stepping out of the car you run back around to your own and see the sperg on his cell phone
"Fuck."
>"Hurry! Hurry! He's still here!"
>You rip the fat wads phone out of his hand and are about to stomp on his hand when you hear tires screeching behind you
"Fuck"
>There's another prius making its way down the alley with two fedora troops inside
>You're trapped and you don't know what to do
>In desperation you think of ramming your car straight into theirs but again the fagmobile's standing in your way
"No, think anon. I can do this."
>You search the ground for a brick and spot one jutting out the side of the building
>You jump over the hood and slide into the seat of the prius
>This always works in the movies right?
---
>"GO GO GO FASTEEEERRRRR!!!!"
>The fedora squad is in full retreat after they saw one of their own fallen soldiers transport charging at them
>Unfortunately the fatass doesn't know the first thing about vehicle maintenance as his car is scraping against the side of the building
>Tire alignment is a bitch
>You make a mental note to get a tune up as you follow the mobile roadblock at fifteen miles an hour
>Out on the street the two prius's burst out onto two lanes of traffic
>Both cars are instantly sideswiped by oncoming vehicles and are sent spinning
>The unoccupied prius steadies itself before somehow
>It is now plowing its way past the parked cars on the curb and slams into a starbucks across the street
>Another victory but no time to celebrate
>You're sure everyone's eyes will be on you as you leave the scene so you gun it
>You pray no one caught sight of your license plate as you hastily make your way onto the highway
>You breathe an audible sigh of relief as you set cruise control to 45 and relax your foot on the pedal
>RD: "Anon..."
"I know. That was absolutely batshit insane."
>RD: "Anon..?"
"What is it? Are you hungry? Shit we haven't eaten since breakfast huh?"
>You're about to laugh when Twilight gets your attention and you look in the rearview mirror to look at her
"No."
>There in the rearview mirror is the autist form of a chain gang. On fucking scooters!
>This is beyond comprehension.
>Here you are in your two ton four door sedan and you're being chased by fucking scooters
>TS: "Anon what are we going to do now? They won't stop chasing us."
"I've got an idea."
>You turn onto the nearest lane with an off ramp and start accelerating slightly.
>There's a pitiful hum in the air as the chain gang rev up their scooters and maintain pursuit at full speed at fifty miles an hour
>You see the signs overhead read a quarter mile before the turn off and you see it up ahead
>Wanting to see just how many of the same chromosomes these fuckers had you decide to put on your turn signal
>Sure enough as soon as you look back through the rear view those melvin's have exactly the same thing
>Game over. You win.
>As soon as you start heading on the off ramp you turn the wheel sharply and merge rudely back into traffic
>The car behind you beeps up a storm but you don't as you watch those idiots continue a perfect track off the main road and onto a westbound highway
>You cheer in triumph and are surprised when the girls join you
"That's it girls we're home free."
>TS: "Anon how did you know that would work?"
"Those spergs have less than human intelligence. They'll fall for anything."
>You turn your attention back to the road when a strange noise fills the air
>At once it is unrecognizable and yet bone chilling at the same time
>AJ: "What in the hay's all that funny talk im hearin?"
>What was that noise? Then it hits you.
>You reach into your pocket and pull out the Sperglord's cell phone. He has an anime ringtone.
>TS: "Isn't that the creepy guys phone?"
>It is. You can only imagine that its the drones reporting back to their mothership to inform her of their incompetence.
>You shut the phone off and shove it back into your pocket.
"Let's just concentrate on getting home."
>You feel the phone vibrate a series of times before you realize its a text message that just came through
>Okay maybe you can't talk the sperg talk but you just might be able to read it
>You pull out the phone again and swipe the screen. No lock, how convenient.
>You're thinking it's going to be a long bitchy rant about how they were outfoxed by a subhuman who hasn't achieved euphoria
>It's not.
>It's not even cringe worthy.
>It's an actual problem.
---
>Several hours later you find yourself in a gas station parking lot at the edge of the city.
>You gave the girls a few bucks to buy some necessities inside the convenience store.
>You explain to Twilight how currency works in this world thinking she would grasp the concept of nickles and dimes faster than the others
>You also gave her specific instructions, one of them was to put ten bucks on pump 2
>The gas stopped pumping a long time ago but you kept squeezing the trigger out of anxiety
>You just kept processing the sperg not in your mind
> "Corporal Commander AppleBuck. We're sorry to inform you that mobile squadron codenamed "Scoots of Fury" were unsuccessful in their attempt to apprehend the fugitive and recover the 'packages'. However, using our superior hacking skills we were able to trace his plates through the DMV and have uncovered critical data for the fulfillment of operation "Mane Operation". Enclosed you will find that defector's name, address, workplace address, and current phone number. We shall convene on his fortress of forever solitude at 0100 hours. We hope this pleases our overlord. We are legion."
>A part of you wants to laugh so much, but the other knows these fuckers just screwed you out of your home for a while. And if they get to your landlord you are beyond fucked.
>You sigh and lean back on your car.
>L: "What's going on?"
"A lot more than i thought would happen today."
>L: "I meant with those other humans back there."
>You turn around and look Lyra in the eye.
"We're being hunted. And those weren't humans. They're mongols."
>L: "Mongols?"
"They look like humans, but they're not. In reality they're a subhuman species that live among us in secret, at least that's what they think. The reality is we're all too painfully aware of their existence."
>L: "So mongols aren't human? But that guy looked almost like you but fatter and...and..."
"See you can't find any words for it because their aren't any. It's like the difference between ponies and changelings."
>L: "Oh, i think i get it."
>You nod as you turn off the cellphone and put the nozzle back on its handle.
>It was sunset already and you needed some place to go.
>L: "I'm starting to wish i never came here. Those mongols are really scary."
"It's not all bad. I bet if you've seen this city like i have you'd realize it's okay."
>L: "How?"
>You think for a second. You want to show Lyra and the girls how great the city can be but you don't want to take'em out on the town
>We all know how that ended last time.
>If only you could just show them everything with a safety net
>Then it clicks just as you hear the bell ring over the door
>The girls seemed to have calmed down a bit from the day's exploits and are chatting excitedly
>Twilight has two paper bags she happily places on the hood of your car
>TS: "Anon i got just about everything you wanted. Noodle cups, plastic forks and spoons, bread..."
"That's great Twilight, thank you. This will help us out a lot."
>RD: "And there was enough left over for me to buy you this!"
>Rainbow Dash slaps a truckers cap on your head and you pull it off to see what cheesy logo is monogrammed on it.
>To your surprise it's a picture of a big rig with the words "Clear the road" written under it
>RD: "Yeah, I'd thought you like it."
"I do. Thanks, how uh, relevant."
You smile as you put it back on and turn your attention to everyone.
"Girls i have some bad news. We can't go home, not now, maybe not for a while."
>The girls start talking all at once wanting to know what could possibly keep them from going back.
>TS: "But where else are we supposed to go?"
>R: "Indeed, you're honestly not suggesting we spend the night in a tacky motel room"
"Now wait, i have this mostly under control."
>TS: "That's usually what i say when I'm about to mess up."
"Well, lucky for all of us I actually got this. We just have to campout for the night is all."
>You let the news wash over the girls trying to read their reactions
>AJ: "Well if that's all it is i'm on board."
>R: "Excuse me? Are you seriously suggesting that i lay myself ground, with the dirt?"
>AJ: "Aw, get over yourself prissy hooves."
>R: "Humph. I at least deserve an explanation for all this 'wild' talk of 'camping out'
>TS: "Yeah, anon. Why can't we go back?"
"It's a little complicated. But here goes..."
>Explaining the concept of the internet took a little while longer than you expected
>It started taking so much time the gas station manager kicked you out if you weren't going to spend more money.
>Piling up in the car again you start driving in an unfamiliar direction that took you further from the city
>You can see the girls are starting to feel uneasy in the unfamiliar darkness as you explain saved information on servers
>Finally by the time you stop the car at the edge of a clearing you see Twilight getting the hang of it
>TS: "So then they accessed all your private information and formed a conglomerate to raid your home at midnight to get us?"
"Precisely."
>TS: "And they can communicate effectively in a matter of second if there's anything they want to change about their plan?"
"Yes."
>TS: "Girls, he's right. We can't go back."
>R: "Then where, praytell, are we supposed to go?"
"Actually we're already here."
>You step out of the car into the darkness and walk to the railing ahead.
>Everyone steps out of the car together and walk over to you.
>Their eyes open wide and their jaws drop as they come into full view of the city illuminated against the night sky
>RD: "What...is..this...place?"
"Locals call it the view, others call it makeout point."
>Rainbow Dash blushes at the mention of the name
>L: "Wow you can see everything. Like everything!"
>R: "Well, i have to admit darling. The view is quiet breathtaking."
"Don't worry Rarity you're sleeping in the car, somehow i think you'll prefer that.
>Rarity's eyes light up. She hugs you and says thank you a million times over.
"I also have two blankets in the back. I thought i'd be prepared after last winter."
>AJ: "Shoot if you got blankets than we got all we need for a campout."
"All that's left is the campfire i guess. I'll go gather up some firewood and the rest of you can make yourselves comfortable, I'll be back in a bit."
>RD: "Nuh-uh, you're not going alone this time."
>Rainbow Dash grabs hold of your arm and wraps her arms around it
"Uh, ok. I guess i could use the help with all the wood."
>L: "Ooh, ooh, i wanna come too i want to see if you have fireflies here!"
>AJ: "Now hold on there Lyra. I think we oughta leave them two lovebirds alone right now."
>L: "Loverbirds?"
>TS: "That's true. And we still have to discuss how you manage to get here. We need to find that portal as soon as we can."
>You're not sure but you think you catch Twilight give you a little wink as Rainbow Dash eagerly drags you into the forest.
---
>Not long after you leave everyone's line of sight Rainbow pulls you off to one side and just hugs you.
>You're not sure what to do other than hug back. So you do.
>RD: "Anon, you were really great today."
"You think so? I thought i was just doing my civic duty."
>RD: "You did more than that Anon."
>Rainbow Dash looks into your eyes and caresses your face
>You cherish the feeling of her hand on your cheek.
>Before long she plants her lips on yours and kisses you for a solid minute
>It's not a make out session. She genuinely wants you to know just how deep her affection runs for you
>After she lets you go she blushes slightly
"You know if circumstances were different...
>RD: "As long as we didn't make much noise."
>You become dumbfounded
"W-what?"
>Rainbow Dash's suddenly becomes beet red and she pushes you away.
>RD: "Uh-uh...nothing. Forget about it. We got firewood to stack."
>Rainbow Dash hides her face behind her hands and smiles incomprehensibly as she walks away
>Did that register right? Were you just proposed coitus by a pony-girl?
---
>The whole time you tow are gathering wood you petition Dash to give an answer
>The whole time she giggles and says nothing then moves on to another tree
>You're surprised at the rate of speed she's gathering firewood. Fastest in equestria indeed.
>When you get back Rainbow is the first to ask Lyra where she came from and you resign yourself to making the fire
>In a few minutes you have a roaring fire and are boiling water from the gas station in your thermos you had in the trunk
>You take turns filling each ramen cup before you sit down to your own and start chowing down.
>AJ decides if this is a proper campout then it deserves a proper ghost story
>It's a welcome change to the small talk you were all having about the portal.
>Once AJ finishes her story she asks you to give her one to take back home
>You decide to tell them all the old classic of the car hook door hand and freak everyone out
"Relax it's just a story. A really old and stupid story meant to scare teenagers of over fifty years ago."
>AJ: "Uh, right. Heh-heh. 'course its just a story. Uh, what else would it be? Yawn. Look at the time i guess it's time to hit the hay
>To your surprise your phone reads midnight. And so does the spergs who just so happened to vibrate with a new message
> "Commence Operation Waifu Retrieval"
>You turn off the phone and pull out the battery in case they know how to track its gps chip and do the same with yours.
>They have our phone number after all.
>Soon everyone piles into the car and spread the blankets over them
>Three girls in the back plus Spike, Rarity in your seat and Twilight in the passenger's
>You happily climb on the hood of your car and lay back against the windshield
>To no surprise Rainbow Dash joins you
>She leans into your ear and whispers "Guess we can't do anything in front of them."
>You start blushing for some fucking reason
"uh...uhm..."
>Rainbow Dash giggles and buries herself in your chest.
>"What the actual fuck boner! Do your job!"
>You've never felt this way before. What hell?"
>Okay maybe you've never sex before but felt up plenty of girls who were willing to be touched by you. And you were raging.
>What is this now? Why are you not rising up the challenge like a man and making a woman out of this adorable pony who's currently cuddling the shit out of you?
>L: "Hey can i join?"
"What?"
>L: "Pinkie's starting to snore a bit. Plus i guess i want to get to know a real human. Not a mongol."
>RD: "Are you serious?"
>L: "Yeah as much as i hate to admit it. He was right when he said i liked humans. I just don't know how he knew that, it really scared me."
"Lyra Heartstrings a fan of the human race. How about that? Okay. Hop on up."
>Lyra smiles her winning smile and jumps up on the hood to join you
L: "Besides, you look a lot better than that mongol back there. I can see why Dash likes you so much."
>You blush again. What the fuck?
>RD: "Hey Lyrebutt, get your own human."
>Rainbow Dash hugs you tighter.
>Lyra puts a hoof on your chest and sticks her tongue out and Rainbow
>Rainbow returns the gesture in kind
>This is too much cute. You let your head drop on the windshield and close your eyes. This has been a long day.

End of Day 4