Advertisement
Uh-hmmm

Spam edge standalone

Apr 21st, 2014
485
0
Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 7.29 KB | None | 0 0
  1. > You always knew your terrible diet would be the end of you.
  2. > Instead, it is the new beginning.
  3.  
  4. > Day Spam in Equestrian
  5. > A can of spam with a bright new future before it lands on the table around which sits the mane 6.
  6. > Food drops from their open mouths. 
  7. > They back away, whimpering in fear.
  8. > Fluttershy whispers,
  9. "If only spike were here."
  10. > Spike comes cannonballing through the restaurant window, summoned by the aching void of a plot hole.
  11. "Whuz, uh, whuz any pony saying my name?"
  12. > Rarity falls on her back dramatically before him, chest heaving in terror and eyes sparkling with hope.
  13. "You MUST save us, oh spikey-wikey, from that EVIL CAN!"
  14. > Spike looks at the can, then at the fear-stricken forms of his friends.
  15. "Okay..."
  16. > He bravely picks up the can and wonders what the big deal is.
  17. > Right as he was about to bite down on the can, Rarity seizes him in a crushing hug.
  18. "It's too dangerous! There must be another way!"
  19. > All that pressure on his belly forced his green dragon fire up and out, consuming the can in missive flames.
  20. > Afterwards Spike enjoyed the ecstatic attention of six mares.
  21.  
  22. > Celestia, breakfasting while Luna had dinner, felt a terrible presence she had not known for millennia. 
  23. > A gout of flame spat out a smoldering can of horror.
  24.  
  25. > You feel conflicted about your existence as a lightly charred can of spam, but your proximity to sunbutt has you all hot and bothered.
  26. > You pop your lid, lukewarm meat rising to glisten unsettlingly.
  27. > A beautiful teardrop falls from Celestia's eye, shed for what might have been.
  28. > Luna pokes her sister.
  29. "What prankery is this? Of a surety, no pony would be so crass as to produce such a solemn mockery of foodstuff. Have ye nothing to say, dearest sister?"
  30. > Celestia wiped her tear away.
  31. "I'm afraid it is all that is left of my lost love, who ventured forth into the blind eternities. Come, sister, let us cast it into the Everfree forest, the preserve where once he reigned."
  32. > Luna gave the can a dubious look.
  33. "Would not a purifying pyre be more suitable? It doth no dignity to thy paramour's memory to preserve him from worm's turning thus."
  34. > Celestia shook her head.
  35. "Neither flame, nor tooth nor worm may consume this remnant. If thou wilt not accompany me on this sorrowful duty, I shall hasten it's journey."
  36. > Celestia's magic embraced her lover once again, only to banish it to parts unknown.
  37.  
  38. > It is a strange experience, made doubly so by the fact that you are an open can of spam.
  39. > Somehow, you ride light all the way to the sun, only to hitch a beam down to a stump in the Everfree forest.
  40. > For hours you sit there, your unique aroma wafting through the trees, until at last, you are eaten by a parasprite.
  41.  
  42. > Hrrrplrrr never really thought about it's diet, but what was supposed to be a new beginning is, in fact, the end.
  43.  
  44.  
  45.  
  46. $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$e
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement