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- “So, tell me again why we’re here and why I should care?”
- >Rainbow Dash huffs and rolls her eyes.
- >“Like I’ve been saying, we’re here to see the Wonderbolts perform, the best fliers in all of Equestria, remember?”
- >You suppress a grunt of dissatisfaction.
- “If I wanted to watch a bunch of Pegasi bump into each other, I’d watch the weather team back in Ponyville. I just don’t see why we have to come all the way out to Canterlot.”
- >“Because they’re awesome!”
- >Well, that’s the crux of things, isn’t it?
- >No point in arguing with Dash once she gets it into her head that something is cool.
- >Hanging your head you scuffle your feet on the ground.
- >It’s going to be a long day of sitting in the stands with your head craned back, watching ponies fly through the air.
- >The only way this event could be enjoyable was if they were grilling or had copious amounts of alcohol.
- >Wait a second…
- >You grin and place a hand on Rainbow’s withers.
- >She jumps and shoots an unsteady look back at you.
- >“W-what do you think you’re doing, Anon?”
- “Hey, gimme my ticket.”
- >When Dash gives you a confused look, you jerk your finger back over your shoulder.
- “I’m gonna go get refreshments. Can’t chill in the stands with your best bro on an empty stomach, right?”
- >If it were possible, the blue pegasus’ face turns even more red and she gives a brief nod.
- >“R-R-Right, just don’t be too long.”
- >Pulling a slip of paper from her saddlebag, she holds it out to you.
- >Without so much as a thank you, you snatch the ticket and hurry down the hall.
- “I’ll be back in a jiffy!”
- >Heh, heh, stupid pony.
- >By the time you get to your seat, you plan on being stinking drunk.
- >With any luck you’ll pass out in no time.
- >Unfortunately, ponies are particularly poor about labeling their hallways, and you soon find yourself incredibly lost.
- >And still sober.
- >You huff in frustration as you hear a roar go up from the crowd outside.
- >Seems the hype show is about to wrap up.
- >While you really don’t want to sit through this event sober, the idea of ditching Dash isn’t exactly palatable either.
- >She is, after all, your bro.
- >Turning on your heel to retrace your steps, you pause when a loud grunt of frustration catches your ears.
- >It’s quickly followed by a horrendous crashing sound and a hiss of pain.
- >“Stupid!”
- >Out of habit, you cup your hand over your mouth and shout.
- “Careful Derpy!”
- >Everything goes quiet after that.
- >Then, from one of the rooms along the side, you see a mare with a yellow coat and an orange and yellow mane stick her head out into the hall.
- >Her head flits about twice until she spots you.
- >You can feel her looking you up and down, her gaze finally settling on your hands.
- >Relief floods across her face as she motions to you.
- >“Hey, Fingers, get over here.”
- >…Fingers?
- “I’ve got a name you know.”
- >The mare scowls and rolls her eyes.
- >“Yeah, well why don’t you come over here and tell me what it is.”
- >Snippy little thing.
- >Still, you trod over to her and raise an eyebrow.
- “My name’s Anonymous.”
- >Raising her eyebrow, she smirks at you.
- >“Wow, so did your mother hate you or are you just the youngest of the family?”
- >Cunt.
- >You turn to walk away when you hear her stumble out into the hall after you.
- >“Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean it. I’m just a little, tense right now. Big show and all.”
- >Big show?
- >Glancing back at her, you notice that she’s half dressed in a flight uniform, blue with yellow highlights, but seems to be having a bit of trouble getting it the rest of the way on.
- >You smirk.
- “I can understand the stress, I’d be upset too if I’d put on weight and couldn’t fit into my performance uniform.”
- >In an instant, the gold mare’s face twists again into a deep scowl.
- >“It, it’s not like that!”
- >She shifts her weight a few times and glares at the ground.
- >“It’s just… I’m stuck.”
- >You raise an eyebrow and she shifts her head to the side so you can see.
- >Sure enough, the zipper is caught on a rather robust tuft of hair.
- >“I admit I’ve been a little lax on my maintenance lately, but I can’t keep zipping it up at this point, it’ll tear the hairs out and bleed through the uniform. Same if I go down…”
- >Her expression softens as she begins to alternate her weight from one side to the other.
- >“So, Fing- Anonymous, I’d really appreciate it if you could work the hairs out of the teeth…”
- >Seriously?
- “Can’t you just, I don’t know, cut it off?”
- >She recoils and scrunches her face.
- >It’s almost cute.
- >“Are you kidding? This tuft is practically my signature! If I didn’t have it then, then…”
- >You hold up your hand again and make a show of rubbing your temple.
- >Finally, you nod.
- “All right sure, but you have to do something for me.”
- >The mare’s face hardens.
- >“If it’s a sexual request then no w-”
- >You hold up your hands and shake your head.
- “What? No! I don’t even know you. I just want you to sign something for a friend of mine.”
- >After a moment, the mare nods and motions you towards the room she came out of earlier.
- >“Fine, come on, you fix me up and I’ll set you up.”
- >The dressing room is rather robust, lockers set up and labeled for every female member of the team.
- >At least, you hope Fleetfoot is a girl.
- >Sitting herself down on the bench, the mare turns to face you.
- >“All right, let’s get started.”
- “Don’t rush me.”
- >You snap back.
- >The two of you exchange glares for several seconds before you reach down and begin to untangle the tufts of hair from the teeth and zipper.
- >The performance mare grits her teeth a few times as you tug on a few particularly stubborn hairs, but before long you’ve cleaned out the teeth and most of the zipper as well.
- >Unfortunately, the rest seem content to stay where they are, and are still preventing you from zipping her up the rest of the way.
- “This is enough, right?”
- >The mare’s eyes dance up to yours.
- “You’re not going to kill me if I clip the rest of these?”
- >Glancing down, she grits her teeth and slowly nods her head.
- >“That, is acceptable. Just save as much as you can.”
- >You give her a grunt and reach for the scissors on the vanity.
- >As you make a few careful snips, the mare sighs again.
- >“So, what are you doing down here anyway? Trying to get a preemptive peek at the stars of the show?”
- “Not really, I was looking for beer and I got lost.”
- >“Sounds like you’re a stallion after my own heart.”
- >The mare laughs, causing you to nearly snip your finger off in the process.
- >While you shoot her a glare, she responds with a sheepish grin.
- >“Sorry. But anyway, I don’t buy that for a minute. You were just trying to walk in on some mare changing, weren’t you?”
- “Nope.”
- >Snip, snip, snip.
- “I’ve got my hands full in adjusting to Equestria, I don’t need to deal with being accused of peeping on top of that.”
- >She lapses into silence for several seconds, but when she speaks again, her voice is softer.
- >“Not even if it was me?”
- >Sighing, you pull your eyes away from the job at had, again, and give her a tired stare.
- “Like I said, I don’t even know you. You asked me for help, and I’m giving it.”
- >Another quick snip and you’re done.
- >You give the zipper a tug and watch as it descends with ease.
- >Picking out the rest of the stray hairs still caught in the teeth, you grin.
- >The mare squeaks as you slide your hand inside her uniform and press against the tuft of hair.
- >With a little work, you zip the uniform up to your wrist before slipping your hand out and zipping her up the rest of the way.
- “All set.”
- >Turning your attention back to the mare, you notice the strange look that she’s giving you.
- “…Sup?”
- >“You, do know who I am, right?”
- >Shit.
- >Shit, shit, shit!
- “Uh… ffffffFleetfoot?”
- >She snorts and shakes her head, smiling all the while.
- >“Such a kidder.”
- >Grabbing a photo off the vanity, she pops a pen into her mouth and signs it with a few jerks of her head.
- >Grinning around the pen, she nods to the prize.
- >“Goh ahehd.”
- >As you reach for the picture though, she quickly marks up your hand and then spits out the pen.
- >“And there’s my address… you know, so you can get in touch with me later…”
- “Uh, right.”
- >You shake your hand a few times and grab the photo.
- “See ya.”
- >You can feel her eyes on you the entire way out.
- >A shudder rolls down your spine as you slip into the hall.
- “Now I really need a beer. Or three."
- >Pegasus Ponies are fucking weird.
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