Uh-hmmm

Cold Edge Anon Part 15

May 13th, 2014
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  1. > You wake up blearily, then stop.
  2. > You are back in your ice mansion and
  3. > Yes, that is your wife happily pillowing your head.
  4. > You roll over and hug Frozen, resting your head on her neck as she mumbles something contentedly.
  5. > The horror of the dream is fading.
  6. > You take a deep breath, and exhale. Moving seems to help.
  7. > You nudge Frozen Hart and say,
  8. "Wake up, beloved."
  9. > She slowly opens her eyes and looks at you anxiously.
  10. "Have you... recovered?"
  11. > You kiss her forehead.
  12. "Somewhat. It is less frightening on this side of dreaming."
  13. > She gets to her hooves.
  14. "Shall we be off, then? I am somewhat anxious to begin helping out."
  15. > Running interference against Maud?
  16. > Oh, that's right.
  17. "Just so you know, there will be a fair bit of work before agricultural makeouts."
  18. > Frozen nods.
  19. "I'll be watching with interest."
  20. > Her gaze shifts to your barrel and she bites her lower lip.
  21. > Dat waifu
  22. "Fair enough. Let's rustle up some jimmies. Er, grub."
  23. > Frozen gives you an odd look.
  24. "Sprinkle maggots?"
  25. > You facehoof.
  26. "Food. Let's get some food."
  27.  
  28. > As you approach the kitchen, you hear overly cheerful humming.
  29. > Oh yeah, Pinkie Pie is still here, isn't she?
  30. > Inside, you see several trays of muffins on the counters, and the cook herself painstakingly frosting a cake.
  31. "Good morning, Pinkie Pie. Mind if I have a muffin?"
  32. > She finishes the last rosette.
  33. "Morning, Nonny! Help yourself!"
  34. > She proceeds to eat the entire cake in one gulp.
  35. > Maybe it's your last dream, or because you are seeing it in person, but you can actually see space bend and waver.
  36. > You catch a glimpse of something vast and dark, pulsating and undulating in a way that reminds you of an anthill, or maybe a snake pit.
  37. > Then Pinkie swallows, and winks at you.
  38. "Like what you see?"
  39. > Your face pales.
  40. "I'm. I'm just going to eat one of these muffins, thanks."
  41. > You deliberately do not face Pinkie as you eat.
  42. > You hear some whispering behind you, and
  43. "Aw, you sure? Even on the side?"
  44. > You give Pinkie a flat look over your shoulder and shake your head.
  45. > She pouts, but doesn't look too heartbroken.
  46. > You go back to eating breakfast.
  47. > You are just brushing off the crumbs from around your mouth when Maud enters, wearing pajamas, bed head untamed, and holding an irregularly shaped rock.
  48. > She takes one look at you, then turns around and leaves.
  49. > Pinkie giggles.
  50. "Oh Maud, always a late riser."
  51. > Well, she did go to college.
  52. > Moments later Solmgers walks in and looks around in confusion.
  53. "Methought all had assembled in this place? Wherefore art the good Rocktor?"
  54. > That's odd, he also made this place, so it should be as simple as listening to the citadel inpu-
  55. > Maud slowly shucks her shirt, a light blush on her cheeks.
  56. > -t. Okay, that's a good reason to use mundane methods.
  57. > Pinkie giggles into her hoof.
  58. "Oh~, she's making sure she looks her best for her first day!"
  59. > Green Eggs and Som turns to her.
  60. "Ah, forgive mine rudeness. I wish thee a merry repast, Miss Pie, Miss Hart, my brother. How doth Celestia's orb find thee?"
  61. > You glance at Frozen.
  62. "It finds me well, and eager to go forth."
  63. > Frozen considers this, and says,
  64. "By radiation."
  65. > Pinkie licks her lips.
  66. "Full of cake!"
  67. > It says something, that this passes for normal in your new life.
  68.  
  69. > Yumbra nods decisively.
  70. "It is good to hear. Now, I shall begin dispensing thy tasks. Anonymous, I would that ye go forth as mine emissary to the Dragonhold. This day we begin the labor of planting."
  71. > You bow slightly.
  72. > Cream Soda turns to Pinkie.
  73. "Thou... Ah, thou shalt watch over the laborers, seeing that they do follow thy sister's instruction."
  74. > He continues.
  75. "As for myself, I shall be laying up stock unto the dragons, that they have somewhat to eat. Betimes I and Rocktor Pie shall be..."
  76. > Maud walks in, wearing her usual dress, as well as Rarity's dishrag scarf.
  77. > She blinks at you, then Somnambula, and looks at the back of her hoof.
  78. > She looks back up, and does a little head toss, her mane swinging around a little like what you see in shampoo commercials.
  79. > Viet Som's mouth opens and closes for a bit, and you continue on in his stead.
  80. "Thou and she shall be raining affection upon the parched seeds. If thou wilt show me to the dragons' wages, I would begin my task."
  81. > The Belgian Somgo blinks, then shakes his head.
  82. "Of course, brother. Let us hence."
  83. > he leads you to one of the storerooms along the main roads of the citadel.
  84. >As you walk, you ask,
  85. "Brother, how many hirelings shalt thou require of the dragoness?"
  86. "The full ten score dragonlings. A quadruple portion for the capitol, and single portions for the villages round about."
  87. > Let's see here, two hundred by fifty is... ten thousand gems. Which is a lot.
  88. > But how much is that? 2 in. by 2 in. by 4 in..... Or 1/6x1/6x1/3 for feet cubed...
  89. > So 10000/( 4x27)
  90. > 2500/27
  91. > You round it out to about100 cubic feet of gems.
  92. > Which is like, somewhat more than a cube with three feet per side.
  93. > It's still a lot, but it isn't as mind blowingly huge as it seemed at first.
  94. > Now if only you could sell those gems to dealers across the country...
  95. > Although, gems are only valuable because of scarcity. These would be fairly common of you sold too many of them.
  96. > In fact, they probably aren't worth too much, precut gems are literally a few feet from the surface in places.
  97. > Seriously, what is with the abundance of gemstones? Some kind of thaumic field that encourages their growth?
  98. > In fact, there are the elements of harmony, and yours and Sombritalin's wishy magic, and maybe windagoes.
  99. > So there probably is some connection between magic and crystals.
  100. > Sombravioli pokes you.
  101. "Oh brother, where art thou? We have arrived, and thou art unresponsive for some time."
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