RT-Before

Intro  0:13
Rick tracks, we don't make movies. We make fun of them. And now the riff master himself, Michael J. Nelson.

Mike  0:31
Hello everyone and welcome to riff tracks. This is Michael J. Nelson along with Kevin Murphy.

Kevin  0:36
Hey there folks.

Mike  0:37
And Bill Corbett huh?

Bill  0:39
I'm sorry guys. Sorry, just stopped by some snacks for our recording session today. And given our movie Starship Troopers, I thought it'd be cool to go to that new specialty store around the corner here. Take

Mike  0:50
a look. Jeff probe snack shack.

Bill  0:54
Cute.

Mike  0:55
There's a little picture on the bag, a crude shack and an oddly pathetic one really built by obvious idiots.

Bill  1:01
Yeah, Jeff's the longtime host of survivor where the idiot contestants often have to eat weird things to survive notably bugs. Oh god.

Kevin  1:09
No, it's a bag of bugs. A bag of bugs

Bill  1:12
mostly dead bugs calm down at least 50%

Mike  1:16
bill you know Kevin squeamish about insects and our movie today is already full of them. So

Bill  1:21
but Starship Troopers has giant attacking bugs. These are mostly reasonably sized delicious bugs. Here Mike's try the pumpkin spice tree crickets Mm hmm. Oh,

Mike  1:32
that is good. satisfying crunch Nice hit of protein to

Kevin  1:36
guys.

Bill  1:37
Try the long nosed weevil with Cayenne to really clears out your sinuses

Kevin  1:41
guys.

Bill  1:44
Oh, hey,

Mike  1:45
these cocoa dusted assassin bugs look scrumptious for dessert.

Kevin  1:48
I am about to start throwing up and I will never, ever stop.

Mike  1:52
Sorry, Kevin. I guess we could have been more sensitive

Kevin  1:55
to I hate bugs almost as much as I hate Jeff Probst and his stupid consonant weird name. No bar.

Bill  2:01
Sorry, Kevin. Really?

Disembaudio  2:02
Hey, guys. Hey, this price of snacks. Yes, no.

Kevin  2:07
Oh, God. Oh, there's a trademark that little shack built by idiots

Bill  2:10
put it away does Yeah, I

Disembaudio  2:12
think Jeff props is a snack visionary, but I went for a very basic menu item first straight cockroach, nothing on it live in squirming. de Lis.

Mike  2:27
Do your job.

Disembaudio  2:29
Okay, okay. Now, folks, I'm here to help keep your rift tracks running smoothly. Every so often. I'll chime in with a line of dialogue at the exact same moment that a character says it that way you'll be able to tell if they're all synched up. And if not, you can pause either the movie or the riff tracks for the appropriate amount of time, usually just a second or less.

Mike  2:49
Great. Now folks in a moment I'm going to cue you to pause this track after you pause start your Starship Troopers DVD you'll soon see the TriStar horse logo and the second that's off the screen. Press play again on this rifftrax You guys ready to go?

Bill  3:06
Yep. Stop eating bugs. Oh, sorry. I thought I could sneak in a butter popcorn flavored stick insect without you noticing.

Mike  3:15
All right, get ready to pause this track and 123 pause

Kevin  3:22
and we're back. TriStar Pictures. Oh, please be weakened to Bernie's to please be weakened. But Bernie's Ah, dang,

Mike  3:29
no, no.

Bill  3:34
PBS finally got too much power.

Disembaudio  3:39
Young people from all over the globe

Kevin  3:49
for goodwill in general,

Mike  3:58
which guarantees a free citizen tote bag.

Bill  4:10
We've completely eliminated the need for the movie Armageddon.

Mike  4:24
And yes, that was totally scientific.

Bill  4:32
But where are we?

Kevin  4:39
As our big screaming caption just proved.

Bill  4:47
And yes, I

Mike  4:48
borrowed my helmet from Michael Dukakis

Disembaudio  4:52
a bond planet.

Bill  4:55
Not true. My planet is lovely. Here. Let me lift you up. Get a good one. Look around. There you go. Hey, hey. Hey, why are you shooting? I'm the ambassador here. Stop squirrel. I am so sorry I just totally my fault

Kevin  5:16
or obey can look up my nose again.

Bill  5:23
Come down maybe look at my planet Stark beauty and hotel. We're cool. Everything's cool. I'm gonna get it again. I'm so sorry

Unknown Speaker  5:34
Wolverines.

Mike  5:36
Oh, maybe No, no.

Kevin  5:41
Huh I don't much care for the this guy dying show.

Bill  5:48
So like 1926 3590 does it matter? No,

Mike  5:53
it really does not know.

Kevin  5:58
Polo, Polo Polo

Bill  6:11
some jerk stole my forearm.

Disembaudio  6:18
We talked about the veterans

Mike  6:25
because Twilight fan art is Beloved.

Kevin  6:29
I can pretend smile

Bill  6:39
that'll cost you an arm.

Mike  6:48
Plus you get a neat

Bill  6:50
I voted sticker.

Kevin  7:00
That's not what she said when she tore my arm off.

Bill  7:09
nuclear annihilation is hot.

Bill  7:23
And they're trying to eat each other.

Kevin  7:31
Civilians be dancing like that. But citizens be dancing like this.

Bill  7:45
Do I am handsome? I don't have to.

Unknown Speaker  7:53
She vomited on me.

Kevin  7:57
Got around hosting the Tonys and fifth period

Mike  8:05
and she vomits on him.

Bill  8:19
No future it has tall buildings and airplanes unlike our primitive time.

Kevin  8:27
Oh, I love it when she talks fleet Academy evaluation methods.

Bill  8:31
Oh

Mike  8:35
I am good in math arithmetic.

Unknown Speaker  8:44
Polo. You

Kevin  8:44
see that's how it goes.

Bill  8:50
I got more than zero Hooray.

Mike  8:56
You think you're gonna meet your kids mother with those scores. Wow,

Kevin  9:03
Neil Patrick Harris mint.

Bill  9:14
I know I'll bug chugs someday.

Intro  9:23
She wants the

Mike  9:23
D list actor

Kevin  9:32
uses nightcrawlers as bait it's gross.

Mike  9:41
And saying things like

Bill  9:42
fire. George. Folks, just so you know. The weird instructor with the sunglasses is the late Rue McClanahan of Golden Girls.

Kevin  9:54
And the giant beetle on the table is the late br oh now calm what