Pode: do you feel romantically toward me?
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: well not to the lengths of like obsession (huss and the baby.jpg)
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: but it was just kind of a thing i kept on the low-down, yes
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: either way sorry this is probably either fucking creepy or just a shock
Pode: Are you sure you feel that way about me?
Pode: I'm just sort of taken aback
Pode: I understand those thoughts
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: aback? shit i didnt hope i offended you
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: :[
Pode: as in sort of
Pode: not expecting that
Pode: at ALL
Pode: like it's charming and everything
Pode: but i did not expect it
Pode: shit i dont know what to say dude
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: it's fine, I dont need to get anymore into it if it's way too much right now.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: you've gone through a lot today
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: listen, i have no problem getting off the topic, i know its fucking weird right now so i'm willing to wait
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: maybe talk it out
Pode: OK
Pode: logan
Pode: You're like
Pode: my best fucking friend
Pode: and everything
Pode: but I'm not quite sure I am able to feel romantically toward the same sex as me
Pode: I'm just really confused on what to think
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: No, that's what I had initially expected.
Pode: more-or-less, think of what you would say if said that to you
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Seriously, it's alright.
Pode: I really honestly don't know what words to use
Pode: I could have never imagined
Pode: that you felt that way
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: You don't have to, I'm seriously fine with getting off it.
Pode: How strongly do you feel about it?
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: i dont know right now.... we know eachother as best friends, so spilling guts like this is kind of a surprise.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: well, to ME as well
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: i dunno, I realize there's a lot of problems with this.. Residence, age maybe
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: so i expected nothing more than just acknowledgement
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: and im seriously fine with it
Pode: You realize i'm not terribly attractive, right? :v
Pode: not that that's what you meant
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Its not about how attractive you are, you're literally the greatest person i know
Pode: but i feel that often plays an undertone
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: yeah its fine
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: no, im not one of those "hey they look good lets put on some act so i can get with them'' people
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: thats low
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Also I would say you are but I'm not sure how you'd react.
Pode: not really :V
Pode: i'm like 210 pounds
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: so? like i said im not into feelings retracting exclusively towards appearance
Pode: yeah i understand
Pode: i'm just socially retarded in this department
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: its fine, i am too
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: plus youre probably going to get better on that later on anyways :V
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: but still thats not the point
Pode: fuck man i dont know what to say
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I seriously dont care about all the flaws there are in ''looks''
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: no dude i understand its fine
Pode: i dont want you to feel lovesick or something
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: i just needed acknowledgement
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: No, i promise i wont dwell on it
Pode: i mean it will eat you up inside
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Not really... we still talk to each other every day so I'm not going to be some lonely fuck about it, all broken up
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: it might be a little awkward but it passes
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: and im fine with whatever you think
Pode: i'm not sure i could exist in a homosexual relationship though. the thought of what other people would think of me scares me
Pode: not that you're a bad guy or anything, because you're fucking awesome
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: No nonono i understand, I fear the same too
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: thats why i figured we'll probably just wait a while before even ATTEMPTING to get involved
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: all i needed tonight was for you to acknowledge it
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: thats all
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: if it doesn't go anywhere, that's that
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: no difference, i promise
Pode: Alright dude
Pode: i appreciate it
Pode: but i'm not sure I could do something like that
Pode: you'll always be in my heart though
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Not a problem
Pode: i mean i love you platonically, not romantically right now
Pode: you're just an incredible friend to me
Pode: so much like me i could not possibly ditch you
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: trust me I understand
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: You're like a brother to me dude, so I'm not gonna let this ruin what we've got.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: like i said, it was just something that needed acknowledging
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: and it has
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: and im happy
Pode: I REALLY don't want this to make things awkward
Pode: i understand though, and it's sweet
Pode: i understand logan
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I know you do, trust me.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I promise it's not something i'm gonna get broken up about.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: We're still best friends and that's all I really want.
Pode: I mean, i'm sure this happens all the time around the world
Pode: with homosexual or bisexual people
Pode: i'm positive it does
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: yeah no doubt
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: but seriously, I'm fine with whatever you decide, I'm just glad that you're still with us tonight
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: thats all that matters to me
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: because i was scared half to fucking death earlier
Pode: I'm really sorry about that
Pode: like, really
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: It's fine, I know you're alright now so I'm not worrying.
Pode: I'm just sort of confused right now
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: it's just... fuck man, i really dont know what would happen if this was the last day i got to talk to yo
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: u
Pode: I mean, you gotta understand, I did NOT expect that
Pode: I won't do it
Pode: i'm a fucking pussy
Pode: i'll never do it
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Dude I DO understand, I swear :V
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: No, it's not that "youre a pussy"
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: its that you have enough civil and rational thoughts to know that throwing your life away wasn't right
Pode: I don't think you're interested in me romantically or sexually, I think I've just had an influence on you and you may be a little confused with that
Pode: I remember I felt a little gay at some point for an e-person i looked up to
Pode: like a long time ago
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Don't worry about it, I realized there would probably a lot of problems to suffice once I actually got it out.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: that's why I was trying so desperately to tell you when you were threatening to hurt yourself earlier
Pode: god fuck man
Pode: I feel AWFUL
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Don't, I'm SERIOUSLY okay with it
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: We're still the closest of friends, thats all that matters in the end
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Really austin I'm
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: perfectly fine with whatever input you have
Pode: I feel like i've "friendzoned" you or osmething
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: you DIDN'T :V
Pode: god this is weird
Pode: like not because you said it
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I KNOW how you're feeling right now and i know its fucking awkward
Pode: but because i dont know WHAT to do
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Just let it pass then. I'm not going to like break down and cry or anything :u
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: i'm FINE
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: with whatever you think
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: shit like I seriously
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: wasnt going to tell you for the longest time
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: but after today
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: after i thought you really were going to hurt yourself
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: i just couldnt fucking risk it
Pode: I understand.
Pode: i'm just
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I know you do.
Pode: I almost feel like it's impossible for things not to be awkward now
Pode: I really hope thats not the case
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: It won't be, I swear
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Tomorrow we'll both be on, we'll go about our normal friend chats, and the day will end just as it had began
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I swear i wont let it drag me, or you, down
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: and if need be, I won't go into the matter any further.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Anyways, you can brush it off, forget about it, think about it for a while if you want
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I'm seriously FINE with whatever
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: as long as you're still here, and still alive
Pode: I'm nervous
Pode: I don't really understand how anyone could feel that toward me
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Yeah, and I'm sure much less another guy, right?
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I understand, trust me
Pode: out of curiousity
Pode: how long exactly did you feel this way
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Currently? I'd say the feeling sufficed about two, maybe three months ago.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: like i seriously reflected on how much we had known about each other at that point
Pode: you mean surfaced?
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: yeah, shit sorry im getting words messed up
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: but anyways, i had contemplated it for a while
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: but I realized that it would be A) Really awkward for you since we know each other as best friends or B) Downright shock and confusion that you really don't know what to consider
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: and right now i'd say its aq bit of both
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: so seriously
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I was prepared for whatever you might say afterwords
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I'm fine with forgetting about it, if that's what you wish.
Pode: I don't know if it works like that
Pode: that you can relinquish those feelings
Pode: I'm thinking back
Pode: two three months ago
Pode: was that the start of the pimpts thing?
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I wouldn't say the START, but during our whole charade, yes
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: but i mean by that point
Pode: damn
Pode: talk about a blot twipst
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: you me and chad were pretty inseperable
Pode: you dont feel that way about chad though?
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: not really.. One I know he's probably 100% straight, and Two, he hasn't really been as ''charming'' as I had been hoping
Pode: he's asexual
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: i mean, with the shit he's done, making jokes about my deceased and stuff
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: oh, well, that too then
Pode: He's not really understanding of that shit
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: yeah
Pode: i mean the joeks
Pode: brb
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: ok
Pode: a
Pode: back
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Hey
Pode: are you sure you maybe aren't like, a little confused on your feelings there? I mean it may be like a form of admiration of me, but I'm not sure if you quite think it's that
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: It's... very confusing, yes.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I don't know... like, I DO feel that way, but I don't know if I'm just taking it too far.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Probably am.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: So seriously I'm alright with whatever
Pode: if you were me
Pode: what would you say
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: What do you mean?
Pode: because I just really dont know what to say
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: Well, I would probably act the same way you are right now, and it's prefectly understandable.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I was not expecting a direct answer anyways.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: and I Know
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I KNOW this is confusing and I KNOW this is a surprise
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: So, honestly, whatever happens, happens.
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: I said it, and if need be, that can be that.
Pode: i gotta read something for school
Pode: brb
[FTFO] Delirious Biznasty: ok