#PastebinMonday 05/29/2023 I Can't Do It Edition

'Sup, doods!

I can't do it. I've tried. My brain is not up to it.

I want to balance my day job with these endeavors so that I can work on videos and content during the weekdays. I feel like if I'm not doing something during the week to work towards being able to give you guys my style of content full time, I'm not using my time effectively. I am currently doing more things that I need to do to survive than things that I want to do to live. To reverse that requires a dedicated effort to be the change that you want to see in yourself. It requires a time investment that, quite frankly,

I do not have the mental fortitude for.

I am the kind of person that needs a lot of time to sit down and focus on something. I am the kind of person that still gets a lot of anxiety just from being in close physical proximity with other people. I am the kind of person that gets distressed from being forced to do something. I am the kind of person that doesn't ever get enough sleep. All of these factors combine to result in me being incapable of consistently sitting down and focusing long enough to work on any video I want to make. I get home from work. I have to de-stress. I have to eat. I overeat. I watch videos while I eat to pass the time. I lose track of the time. I psyche myself up to get to work on something. I can't decide what I want to work on first so I watch more videos. Suddenly, it's 8:30pm and I need to sleep soon in order to wake up in the morning. I get nothing done during the week and it frustrates me.

If I can't accomplish any behind-the-scenes work during the week, I might as well try to stream. NOT THIS WEEK, however, because it's a holiday and I try to take entire weeks off from work during holidays to justify more breaks. I need this time to catch up on my below goals. Plus, Summer Games Done Quick is happening right now and running counter programming to that production has never felt like a great idea to me. It's not stopping others from trying, but they all have bigger followings than I do.

Anywell, as I teased at the end of last Friday's show, I am going to implement a few of my long-term streaming schedule ideas. Since I only have evenings to work with on weekdays, the sessions will be on the shorter side, but the speedruns I am going to do will be on the shorter side to get in multiple attempts. I will confirm what I am going to do in next week's update, but the current plans are as follows:

(all streams starting at 7pm CDT)
Tuesdays – Tue-Gi-Oh! – This slot will be dedicated to speedruns of Yu-Gi-Oh! games. The current game on my radar is The Falsebound Kingdom. The Challenge Mode runs are 5-10 minute boss gauntlets that I would love to grind down. Estimated stream length: 2 hours
Wednesdays – Whatever Wednesday – I will flex whatever speedrun I feel like playing at the moment into this slot. I currently have the itch for Pokémon Puzzle League and Kirby's Avalanche. I'll let you know which one I feel like playing next week. Estimate: 2 hours
Thursdays – Opening Round – On one hand, the idea of this time slot was to speedrun golf video games. I do love me a fair bit of them. On the other hand, it was created as an excuse to go back to Mario Golf: Advance Tour. Specifically for these sessions, I would visit Speed Golf because those can be knocked out in 10 minutes each. Perhaps this slot could be flexed later into Mario Sports games in general. Estimate: 2 hours
Fridays – Friday Night Salt Mines – I imagine that there will be some community interest in the coming weeks of playing Kirby's Avalanche for the minor speedrun tournament in July. Until then, I will probably go about the upcoming tournament speedgames solo in these sessions. I will play Kirby's Avalanche only if I get to editing my recent personal bests this week. I've been very unproductive as of late so I have my doubts. Estimate: 4 hours

I will dedicate weekends to all of my offline endeavors. I should be able to focus easier then? I don't know. I'm gonna try something different, anyway, and see how I feel. The way I am proceeding through life now, I can't do it.

Today's (permanent) extra streaming goals:

Goal #2: create a broadcast stream layout for the next LPS minor speedrun tournament game, Kirby's Avalanche.
Goal #3: update the LPS Pokémon Puzzle League broadcast layout to be better automated like the Tetris Attack layout.
Goal #4: edit my Kirby's Avalanche runs. I'mma need a minute for this.
Goal #5: script and record footage for my Puzzle League tutorial series. I have some scripts to touch up before feeling comfortable with moving on to recording gameplay. Then I will need to record my talking points and edit it all together. I will still want to take time during the week to do all of that instead of stream. Whether I will be able to remains to be seen.
Goal #6: clean up my own stream layout. I am brainstorming how I want the final theming to be. I probably want to give people multiple options, maybe allow spending bits to change the look. I don't have anything written down yet. I don't expect to get to this anytime soon.
Goal #7: maybe make a universal LPS broadcast layout that I don't have to agonize over recreating every year. Hopefully I wouldn't over-homogenize it like SpeedGaming did.
Goal #8: release the Puzzle League tutorial series YouTube shorts once a day until they're all done. I really do think I need to time the release of the series with a ramping up of my streaming schedule so that I can take advantage of whatever there is to gain from releasing the shorts.

Enjoy SGDQ! See you next week!

That’s my life story for the week. Later, doods!

--Cards