[PiE?] A Higher Form of Autism

Because I could.

Prompt:
>you marry your waifu, but she dies in the 9/11 attacks the next day. how do you react? what have you been doing all this time?

The eternal fears no future, hopes for no future, but love possesses everything without ceasing, and there is no shadow of variation -Kierkegaard

>There are two ways folks start living. The first is obvious: when you come into the world, flailing and screaming. But beyond that, there is a desire to remain within the groove of the world. To not step outside your comfort zone and become something more. People go through their whole lives living only the first life, and so they only die half a death. They never knew what they missed out on.
>But not you.
>It began on a rainy night in November. You'd gotten off work and were stumbling home through the streets of the city when a voice called out to you.
>"Excuse me," it says. When you turn, there was no one there. But the feminine voice calls out again. "You, yes you!"
"Hello?"
>The word cracks a little, but after a momentary pause, the mysterious voice responds.
>"Stop looking so high! I'm down here."
>Another cursory glance around and then down. There, positioned right around your waist, was a tiny...
"Talking horse?"
>The equine snorts, as if indignant, cocking her head upwards and glare at you.
>"I'm not a horse, I'm a pony!"
>The purple pony furrows her brow and scrunches her nose, doing her very best to show her disapproval. Your heart skips a beat.
"S-sorry. Just a little surprised."
>"Well you're not alone in that," she sighs, glancing around before looking back up at you. "Where am I?"
"New York."
>Pony pauses, cocking her head to the side and raising an eyebrow. You try again.
"The Big Apple? Manhattan?"
>"Manehatten?"
>Her purple eyes light up as though the sun itself poured out from behind them.
>"That means I'm only a day or so from Ponyville. What a stroke of luck, I have to get home right away!"
>She glances about again and frowns.

>"Though I never thought that the city would look so cold, or be so big, or be filled with," she glances up at you frowns again, "Giant Monkeys."
"Hey!"
>The pony laughs a little and quickly smiles.
>"Sorry; now, I don't want to impose, but you could put me up for the night? I need to get my bearings and find the best way to go home."
"Yeah, sure."
>Your voice lacks any sense of weight, but the pony doesn't seem to mind. She bounces a little on her hoovsies and trots out of the alley.
>"Well then what are we waiting for? I hate feeling like my coat is soaked."
>She notices you staring at her and flips her mane to the side. The wet, weighty hairs fling droplets of water to the side, falling flat against the other side of her face.
>"My name is Twilight Sparkle. It's a pleasure to meet you!"
>
>
>
>Things had gotten awkward from there. Twilight, it turns out, was a visitor from another world. Not that it was surprising, but the fact that it had happened to you and not anyone else was. Well, the fact that she was a unicorn and could actually use magic, that was a surprise.
>Through a series of unfortunate events, an attempt to complete a spell had launched her from her home, friends, and family. Once Twilight discovered she had made it to another world, she was visibly upset. At the same time...
>"What an excellent opportunity to study a new species," she'd squeak out between shakes. And so it was, days into weeks, then into months, you told Twilight about Earth and let her examine you, and she spent her days trying to find a spell to take her back home. It was difficult without her books, but she was certain she could do it.
>Months eventually became a year. Every day, Twilight still tried to find a way home. Some days you would come home and find your walls or furniture charred from a magical mistake, the purple pony staring sheepishly between you and the spot. But you managed. And somehow you found happiness together.

>Even though she struggled to find a way home, Twilight was indeed exceedingly proficient with magic. After almost two years of study, she was able to craft a spell that would let her take the physical appearance of a human. She went out into the world, learning and exploring on her own, but would come home every night. She was gorgeous, and even your parents approved when they found out you were sharing your apartment with an attractive, brainy girl.
>But you found yourself falling in love with her, no matter if she appeared as a pony or a human. In fact, you preferred the former because she could be herself, but understood why she needed to appear human.
>And eventually, she returned your affections.
>The wedding was in September, as the leaves were starting to change and fall from the trees. It was an amazing occasion, and the two of you couldn't have been happier. Except if maybe Twilight found a way home.
>...Which she did.
>Just a few days after, Twilight managed to open a portal back to Equestria. It shook and sputtered and closed almost immediately afterward, but it was enough to renew her hope in returning home. The two of you talked about going back together. You had it all planned out.
>Twilight would retire from her position at an accounting firm in town. Shortly after, she would reveal herself, and the existence of Equestria, to the people of Earth. Together, using science and magic, both worlds would be able to push forward into a glorious future, together. The morning came and she met you in the hall. With a gentle peck on the lips, the mare-turned-human smiled.
>"After today, I'm never leaving your side again. I love you." And with assurances that you would see each other in the afternoon, she went. And so did you.

>It was a normal day at the office. You weren't anyone special, just a paper pusher. But just before nine in the morning, one of your co-workers rushes into the room and fumbles with the television remote. Sweat catches in the slight crevices of his scrunched face as the television flicks to life.
>Ten minutes to nine, September eleventh two-thousand and one.
>The moment you died.
>The north tower of the World Trade Center, Twilight's Tower, had been hit by a passenger jet. Reports continued to stream in, but you were unable to process them. All that mattered was the smoking shell of what had once been home to your new wife's office.
>After a brief time being shell shocked, one of your coworkers had loaded you into her car and driven you as close to the scene as she could get. You became animated once again, begging and pleading with the police for some sign of your wife. At one point, you grabbed an officer by his lapels and shook him.
"She shouldn't be that hard to find! I know she's small, but you can't miss her in a crowd!"
>You spent the night detained for that. Over the next few days, information regarding the attacks continued to flow into the public consciousness. But you couldn't bring yourself to care. Your wife, the love of your life, was dead. And she took a part of you with her.
>You missed work to the point where your boss was forced to fire you. But you didn't care. Your family expressed concern about your inward turn and dependence on alcohol. But you couldn't care. One-by-one, familiar faces who supported you in the city began to go on with their lives. But not you, the ache persisted for years.

>Alcohol, drugs, sex, you tried anything and everything to escape from the suffering in your chest. You even started posting on an anime imageboard, lashing out at the faceless denizens at every opportunity. Sometimes they laughed it off, but you took a special joy in the times when they didn't respond. Surely you'd shut them up for good. But, life goes on.
>Eventually your workplace benefits ran out. Then your finances started dwindling. The support payments stopped coming in. And you were forced back out into the world.
>You moved away from New York to a smaller, more accessible town. Everything was cheaper, and your employer, still high on patriotism, was deeply sympathetic to the fact that you lost your wife in the towers.
>After six years, life returned to some semblance of normalcy. You were talking with your family again, but you refused to get back on the dating carousel. Love had found you and been wrenched away. There's no way another girl would make you feel like Twilight did, because there were no girls like her. And life continued on.
>October Tenth. Two-thousand and ten.
>The comics board of the anime imageboard you had made your home was rumbling with discontent. A new show had started airing on a rather unremarkable channel. You would have scrolled right by it if not for one thing. There, in the OP, a familiar purple unicorn, surrounded by her friends.
>Your heart skips a beat. Clicking the thread, you scroll through the posts, drinking in the screencaps as they appear. There's no doubt about it.
>It's your waifu.
>Tears burn at your eyes as the old feeling resurface, both pain and joy. You grip the monitor in your arms to try and calm your shaking. Somehow, some way, Twilight had found her way back to you.

>Each week, you waited for the new episodes to air. Every Saturday was an opportunity to learn more about the woman... the mare, who had stolen your heart. As brony culture began to take shape, you became a rabid defender of Twilight. The haters couldn't understand how wonderful she was, not like you could. Likewise, the waifufaggots could never grasp the depth and breadth of her personality. You were obsessed.
>The hiatuses were the worst. Every day you would rewatch an episode, trying to understand Twilight and her friends. You envied Spike, her ever present assistant. If only you could be that close to her again, just for a little while.
>Then came season three. A royal trainwreck, capped off with the most heartbreaking ending. Twilight, the unicorn you had loved, finished an incomplete spell and became a Princess. Just like her mentor.
>If you hadn't already died over ten years ago, this might have broken you. But you knew that becoming Royalty would not change Twilight. She was still the same wonderful mare that you had always known.
>At least, you thought so.
>The hype surrounding the first Friendship is Magic movie, Equestria Girls, was reaching a fevered pitch on the pony board. Shitposting was rampant, but you were eager to see your waifu in human form again. Because you loved her. Every inch of her.
>The movie, however, wasn't as lovely. Or rather, you don't think it was as good as the show, but have no way to be sure. Because of him.
>Flash Sentry.
>Your lip curls in the theater as you watch him set his grubby little paws on Twilight. He thinks he's so cool, the hottest thing since sliced bread. But then the ultimate betrayal.
>Twilight...
>She blushes.
>And stammers.
>And your heart stops.

>And then, with a primal howl, you stand and rend your shirt in two with your bare hands. The entire theater turns and gawks and you wail, a sobbing, blubbering, broken man. The ushers escort you out of the screening. With one last hopeful glance over your shoulder, you search for Twilight. Only to be met by Flash's smug grin.
>And so here you are, sitting in front of your computer screen with a handgun to your right. Your fingers fly over the keyboard as you hurriedly type out a message before you lose your nerve. Your hand shakes as you search for the perfect image. And then you find it. A satisfied smile slips across your face as you enter the captcha and sit back.

>"After seeing Equestria Girls I've decided there's no point in staying here any more. I'm going to try my luck in making the leap to Equestria, so I can put a stop to this Flash Sentry shit and be with Twilight forever, like we promised. Wish me luck, bronies."
>Two beats of your heart later...
>implying bronies, not horsefuckers
>do it faggot!
>implying anyone would miss you
>implying OP isn't a faggot
>pics or didn't happen
>On, and on, and on. You smile a little, realizing things have finally come full circle. Now it's their turn to feel like they won. Clicking a few of the responses, you type in a few simple words.
>"Thanks guys. See you in Equestria."
>As the post appears on the board, you reach for the gun and depress the safety. Pressing it against the roof of your mouth, you whisper
"See you soon, Twily..."


We are never so defensless against suffering as when we love. -Freud