Jian - Life and Feelings are Complicated

[23:48] <~Deedles> It was afternoon as Reisuki was sat, cross-legged, by the lake around the Water Temple, her eyes closed while her hands were entwined in front of her.
[23:49] <Earthflame> Jian approaches slowly, having taken his time during the walk to do more thinking. He calls when she's within earshot. "Good afternoon, Rei."
[23:53] <~Deedles> At first she didn't hear him, all the sounds feeling like they came from above the surface while she was sub-merged in water. His voice seemed to echo though, growing clearer each time until, after a few moments, she blinked, before opening her eyes fully and turning in his direction. "Hey, Jian." She greeted him with a soft smile.
[23:54] <Earthflame> He moves to sit just beside her, slumping with a slight sigh. "Did you hear about the arrivals this morning?"
[00:04] <~Deedles> Reisuki blinked again as she shook her head "No, I've been here meditating all day. Kinda disconnects me from the world." she confessed, rubbing the side of her head.
[00:06] <Earthflame> "Ahh... Taishin returned. He brought Mizuki, Yoshihiro's childhood friend, and Rin, a swordswoman from the Dancing Blade Clan. Mizuki is very badly sick... And in two weeks, her mother will be executed. We are going to Jinlong to stop them. We have to."
[00:14] <~Deedles> "Huh...." Rei fell quiet at that, obviously processing all that information before she concluded, simply "Well, I guess I better get packing then, not... that I have much to pack." she uttered a muted chuckle before glancing at Jian with concern. "How is Mizuki?"
[00:16] <Earthflame> "Very unwell. I felt her spirit, and it is sickly, but the source lies in her heart... They were making her consume corrupt Chi, and it seems to have driven her mad..." He shakes his head, clenching a fist. "We cannot allow this injustice to go on."
[00:17] <~Deedles> Reisuki stared at him before she shook her head, her eyes narrowing "Bastards..." she growled, her hands clenching into fists.
[00:19] <Earthflame> He nods. "...For all the danger involved, our task for now is simple. Right a wrong, prevent an injustice..." He sighs. "...Unfortuantely, my own goal has gotten so much more complex..."
[00:19] <~Deedles> "Oh?" Rei peered at him
[00:21] <Earthflame> He reaches down, letting his fingertips touch the water. "I learnt more about Yamato Takamoto... The man who killed my father. I was expecting to hear of another corrupt monster, like Katashi or The Emperor..." He bites his lip, his fingertips beginning to shake, ripples spreading through the water. "...What I found instead was a swordsman. One who defeated my father in a direct, honest
[00:21] <Earthflame> contest, and who hates Corruption almost as much as I once did... Someone who might be willing to accept Mingxia, to join our side. But he *killed my father*-!" He punches the water, making a splash as he goes silent for a moment, breathing heavily.
[00:24] <~Deedles> She looked thoughtful at that, folding her arms behind her head as she laid down on her back, looking up at the endless, blue, sky. "So you found out that your father's killer is actually not that bad of a man, but he committed an unforgivable act towards you and your mother by robbing you of your father..." she concluded, the gaze of her green eyes shifting onto him. "Sounds simple, he may not be an evil person,
[00:24] <~Deedles> but you have plenty of reason to be furious with him."
[00:26] <Earthflame> "...But does that give me the right to kill him?" He raises his hand, staring at his left palm. "...I can hear the desire, singing in my blood. I want to feel his lifes blood spill across my blade, and see the light die in his eyes as punishment for what he took away form us..."
[00:28] <~Deedles> "I'll ask you some questions, Jian." Rei said as she propped herself up on one of her arms, looking at him seriously. "Would killing him bring your father back? Would it bring your father any peace? Would losing yourself in a blood-rage as you cut Yamato down bring honour to your family's name?"
[00:29] <Earthflame> He looks into her eyes, each question cutting through the blood red rage like a knife. "No... No and No."
[00:33] <~Deedles> "Then how about confronting him with words? Telling him of the pain he caused by taking something that he had no right to take?" She suggested as her eyes softened
[00:34] <Earthflame> He pauses at that. "...I am more at home with blades than words. But it might be best... But would he willingly surrender the Clan to me?"
[00:39] <~Deedles> "I can't answer that for him, but if you want to be a leader you better learn how to handle words quickly. One of the first things you are taught as a leader is that solving things through words, not violence, is more benefitial to your subjects."
[00:41] <Earthflame> He nods, smiling softly. "...Any advice, Princess?"
[00:45] <~Deedles> "Alright." Rei sat up straight as she continued to look at him. "When you approach him, do so openly, but delicately. Don't hide your intentions, but also be curteous towards the fact that he might not like the idea much at first. You may be your father's son, but, blood doesn't do much for personality, as we've seen in the case of Matsumoto and Takeshi." she began to explain to him
[00:45] <~Deedles> "The Clan has been his for 20 or so years now, so I imagine he wouldn't hand it over to just anyone."
[00:46] <Earthflame> He nods. "A duel as the last resort, not the first?"
[00:47] <~Deedles> "Yeah, and I wouldn't suggest a duel to the death even if you do, simply a duel to show him your worth is really enough." She gave him a serious look "There's no need to lower yourself to his level."
[00:49] <Earthflame> He clenches his left fist again, nails in the wound causing him to grit his teeth. "...I see the sense in your words. But... How can I approach the man who *murdered* my father with courtesy? I..."
[00:50] <~Deedles> "Because he didn't murder him. You said it yourself, him and your father fought in a duel, if their opinions disagreed enough I could see it as having been declared a duel to the death." Reisuki shook her head as she ran a hand through her long, white, hair. "Humans do stupid things when they feel like they've been pushed to their limits."
[00:51] <Earthflame> He closes his eyes again, speaking softly. "...Thank you. For speaking sense, when I feel I will be pushed to mine."
[00:52] <Earthflame> He sighs, and opens his eyes slowly. "...I spent my entire life with a question in my heart, unsure whether I wanted an answer. Then, when I found my father had a killer... I felt like a lifetimes worth of hatred had coalesced into a single person. Now... What am I to do with it? What can I do with all this blood boiling rage?"
[00:54] <~Deedles> "Channel it into something positive..." She suggested as she looked thoughtful, leaning an elbow on her knee as she propped her cheek up against her palm. "Hate, love, sorrow, it's all energy at the end of the day. Energy needs to be expressed somehow."
[00:55] <Earthflame> He nods. "Rage, though... Rage is a force of destruction. Of violence, and killing."
[00:56] <~Deedles> "That's why you channel it into something positive, instead of something negative. It's all just a matter of prespective." Reisuki told him, looking thoughtful for a moment. "Lets say that you met a boy one day who hated a man for killing his father, you would be able to understand his hate, correct?"
[00:57] <Earthflame> He nods. "Yes."
[00:58] <~Deedles> "To the point that you would help him claim revenge?"
[00:59] <Earthflame> He pauses at that, pondering. "...Perhaps. And perhaps not."
[01:01] <~Deedles> "A cautious answer, good." She smiled faintly
[01:02] <Earthflame> He closes his eyes, a bitter smile marking his lips. "...I had a vision of meeting Yamato's orphan son."
[01:02] <~Deedles> "Oh?" Rei peered across at him inquisitively
[01:03] <Earthflame> He shakes his head. "Hence 'perhaps'. Could I really tell a child to try his best to kill me, only to kill him in return? Does killing only perpetuate killing?"
[01:07] <~Deedles> "Hatred breeds hatred, that's why it takes mercy to breed understanding in its place..." Reisuki gained a distant smile as she rested her arms over her folded knees. "That's why I believe in the future we fight for, with someone like Blossom, who seems incapable of hating anyone, even the Emperor, as Empress."
[01:08] <Earthflame> He nods at that. "Her goodness is divine..."
[01:13] <~Deedles> "No, it's entirely hers." Rei objected softly as she smiled "You can achieve it too, it's simply about imagining the position of another rather then being so insistant on 'but I feel this way'."
[01:15] <Earthflame> "What does a sword know of mercy? Only the swift, painless death administered to a friend or a worthy foe..." He sighs. "...I am sorry, Rei. I am finding this all hard to take."
[01:17] <~Deedles> Her eye sharpened "Jian, you may have a Sword for Soul, but you aren't a sword. You're a human being, with feelings, and the ability to make your own choices."
[01:17] <Earthflame> "I know... Sometimes it easier to pretend it is otherwise." He hangs his head.
[01:17] <Earthflame> "I trained with the blade for every day of my life. Now, in the ultimate, final moment... There is nothing for my sword to do."
[01:18] <~Deedles> "Don't say that, I'm certain there will be plenty of things for your sword to do, not to mention... Have you ever considered the reason people learn martial arts?" She asked of him
[01:19] <Earthflame> He paused. "...Not really. It was as much a part of my life as breathing for as long as I remember."
[01:20] <~Deedles> "There is a reason why meditation is such a big part of martial arts, Jian."
[01:23] <Earthflame> "And what might that be?"
[01:26] <~Deedles> "Soul searching, going over complicated situations with a calm mind and understanding them better so you can make a wiser decision. In martial arts you are meant to train your mind as well as your body, because strength without proper guidance is a dangerous thing."
[01:27] <Earthflame> Jian closes his eyes. "...Before, things were simple. Like the edge of a blade... A line of silver that split light from darkness, and wrong from right."
[01:29] <~Deedles> "That was an illusion. It is a rare thing indeed that things are truly black and white." Rei replied softly "Just take your friend Taishin for example, when you first met him you, Shen and Yoshi thought he was your mortal enemy because he took your arm.... Then it turned out that he'd been done so to test you, lead you on the way, and that he'd been protecting the Empress all along."
[01:31] <Earthflame> Jian nods. "I know... And that is why I am troubled. When I meditated before, everything was clear. Now... It is a tangled mess. A sword may cut through a knot, but it would do as much harm as good..."
[01:37] <~Deedles> "So you simply revert to 'I am a sword' to make things easy for yourself?" Her question was harsh, but sincere.
[01:37] <Earthflame> "It is easier to be a sword than to be human..."
[01:38] <Earthflame> He looks away from her, his thoughts clouded and drifting...
[01:38] <~Deedles> "If a sword can only cut then it cannot love either." Reisuki replied simply "If you cannot love then how can you hate?"
[01:41] <Earthflame> ...Tears roll down his cheeks. "I love and I hate, I think and I feel. I am not just 'Sword'... I am the spirit and essence of Sword in human flesh. I know. I have always known... And I know that the life of a human is so much harder than the life of a blade. Knowing only how to cut, without choice or responsibility... That is part of the temptation the Corruption sung to me... Freedom from
[01:41] <Earthflame> choice."
[01:44] <~Deedles> "Then how could you ever hope for Yamato to give up leadership of the Dancing Sword Clan to you?" She asked him softly as she looked at him sympathetically, one of her hands reaching out to stroke a thumb across one of his cheeks, wiping away some of his tears. "If you aren't ready to make decisions for yourself... how could you make decisions for an entire Clan?" she didn't mean to be hard on him,
[01:44] <~Deedles> but she knew these things needed to be asked.
[01:45] <Earthflame> He leans into her hand, sighing softly. "I know... I know I must face them. The hard choices and the harsh truths... But I fear them. I fear them more than I fear any opponent, any battle."
[01:48] <~Deedles> "Why?" she continued to ask him, her expression remaining soft.
[01:49] <Earthflame> "...It is unknown to me. I have fought every day of my life. Meilin tried to teach me philosophy and spirituality, but..." He shakes his head. "Let me face any demon and I will stand tall. Let me put my life on the line for what I believe in and I will not falter. But it is not just my life. It is the lives and futures of many... And that is a burden I am afraid to carry."
[01:56] <~Deedles> "You do have a choice... If you don't wish to lead them you don't have to, you could still lead them onto the right path." Rei said quietly.
[01:57] <Earthflame> "And abandon my fathers legacy? Leave my mother never able to return home?" Jian shakes his head. "Yamato may be a good man, but he does not know the soul of his sword. Not the way I or my father did. Faith must be restored."
[01:58] <~Deedles> "How do you know? How do you know your mother couldn't return? How do you know that he doesn't know the soul of his sword?" She asked him, rather bluntly.
[02:02] <Earthflame> "Mother might be able to return..." he pauses. "...He might know the soul of his sword. But Not like I do. Not like my father did. I know that for sure, Rei. The sea is in your soul. Another water user may be able to feel the soul of the sea, but would you say they knew it as much as you did?"
[02:08] <~Deedles> "It depends on the water user..." Reisuki replied honestly. "Anyone can achieve any level of understanding within their own element as long as they work for it. I can, for example, say without a doubt that Ziulong has a greater understanding for the sea, lakes and rivers than I do."
[02:09] <Earthflame> He nods. "Of course, of course... But is it In his soul? You know what I mean. Some things... People are born with. They can be acquired, but only through true mastery or the gifts of the Spirits. My spirit sword, your oceanblessed Chi... They are the same manner of inheritance."
[02:12] <~Deedles> Rei pondered on that "I guess what he holds is different to what I have. While the ocean is in my soul, all water seems to be in his. He holds a mastery of Shui that I know I'm still a ways off getting to myself."
[02:14] <Earthflame> Jian nods. "I still have much to learn about the blade. I would never claim to be a master. My mother Knows the soul of her sword better than I do... But she was not born with it. There is a difference... And I believe the Clan requires one with the bloodright to be it's master. Much as this nation requires it's Empress."
[02:18] <~Deedles> Reisuki looked thoughtful at that "I don't think the nation requires Ming because of her bloodline, I think this nation requires Ming because it need her."
[02:18] <Earthflame> "Only one of her blood can awaken Ao Jing."
[02:20] <~Deedles> "That is key to help saving the country from Yinzhuran, but it requires one such as her to heal it afterwards. She could of been a complete brat who wouldn't be much better for the country than the current Emperor."
[02:21] <Earthflame> He nods. "Blood isn't everything. But it still matters. And it is not blood alone which would make me lead the Clan... I am capable of it. I know I am. I am a true swordsman, one who could teach others to understand their swords, to make them their true allies and not simply their tools. I will not foist the mission onto another. It is my duty, and one I wish to take up."
[02:23] <~Deedles> "I can't agree with that, but... I guess that's a difference of opinion." She concluded with the ghost of a smile. "I do think you're capable of being a leader, if you don't hide behind your sword and actually learn how to deal with politics."
[02:23] <Earthflame> He glances at her. "You can't agree with the rights of blood?"
[02:24] <~Deedles> She nodded "You are correct, I do not."
[02:24] <Earthflame> ...He frowns. "...But you possess one yourself."
[02:26] <~Deedles> "So? I worked very hard to feel like a worthy Princess of Opheria, I didn't just expect everyone to accept me because I was born into it, my parents would never of stood for that." she answered calmly as she rested her arms over her knees.
[02:29] <Earthflame> "Right does not mean one must not try... As it is given, so it can be taken away. I trained every day of my life to be worthy to call my Sword my Soul, to hope to discover and reclaim the past my mother and I had lost. But denying it is no better than taking it for granted."
[02:31] <~Deedles> "Who told you to ever deny it?" Rei asked him
[02:33] <Earthflame> "You said yourself, you do not believe in it." Jian looks to his palm again, pulling the bandage aside and looking at the still fresh wound. "But this blood I inherited... The power of my line? It is the only way I ever knew my father. Echoes of his strength in my own. Sometimes... I felt lessons come from within, and it was as if he was there, teaching me and guiding me..." He closes his
[02:33] <Earthflame> eyes, breathing softly.
[02:35] <~Deedles> "I don't believe in the right by bloodline alone, but if someone is of the blood and also has the personlity to fulfil the duties before them... Then who is better qualified? I simply don't believe that blood alone makes one more qualified or gives one more right." her eyes narrowed "Especially when there are people born with the blood who does not have a choice in the matter."
[02:37] <Earthflame> "It is a duty, and a responsibility... Some people are chosen, by fate, by the spirits, by their blood... Their path is not forced upon them. But if they walk it, destiny guides their feet. What can you call that but a right?"
[02:41] <~Deedles> "A burden." she answered out-right
[02:41] <Earthflame> He pauses, and then nods. "...It can be that, too..." He gives her a thoughtful look.
[02:46] <~Deedles> "Have you spoke much to Blossom?" She wondered after a moment
[02:47] <Earthflame> He nods. "Yes... She feels her responsibilities as Empress may force her to be someone she does not wish to be. To live a life not of her own choosing... I wish to help ensure that is not the case, if I can."
[02:48] <~Deedles> "How can you? If she could she would come with us when we leave, but she can't, she feels it's not her choice to make when so much hangs on her safety." Reisuki replied as she glanced at him.
[02:50] <Earthflame> "Not now... But later. When she is Empress, I wish for her to be free to go among the people. She may need to go under a guise... But I think she might not. The people would love their blind, kind Empress, who went among them, healing their wounds and healing their hearts... With the love of a people and the kindness she carries, she could purge Corruption with warmth and kindness."
[02:52] <~Deedles> "I have no doubt that she would do that no matter what anyone says, and... from what I understand and hear I imagine she won't be doing so without Shen at her side at all times." She couldn't help but smile softly at that.
[02:53] <Earthflame> "Hm?" He quirks at that.
[02:57] <~Deedles> "Xi Feng seemed rather certain that those two have a thing for each other." She clarified with a faint laugh.
[02:57] <Earthflame> ...This gives him pause for thought.
[02:58] <Earthflame> "...Good for them." He murmurs.
[02:59] <~Deedles> Rei tilted her head to the side "... What's wrong?"
[03:01] <Earthflame> He smiles to himself. "It gave me cause to consider the other side of bloodlines... I've spent so much of my life thinking about the past and the present... But I feel like now might be the time to plan for the future. I think those two would be good for one another..." He stares out across the lake, pondering.
[03:04] <~Deedles> "I think so too, they share a lot of the same qualities and ideals, but go about following them in different ways." She agreed with a nod before she peered at Jian "But... what you pondering about?" she wondered
[03:05] <Earthflame> "Blood flows to us... And it must flow on, into the future." He murmurs.
[03:08] <~Deedles> "Yeah, a bloodline ends if you don't have children to pass it on to." Rei nodded silently.
[03:09] <Earthflame> ...He blushes pink.
[03:10] <~Deedles> "... What?" she blinked as she looked at him
[03:11] <Earthflame> He shakes his head. "Nothing... Just remembering my mother teasing me..."
[03:12] <~Deedles> "Oh?" she grinned as she leaned towards him slightly
[03:13] <Earthflame> The blush reddens. "...When I told her you were staying the night... She told me she didn't want grandchildren. Yet."
[03:14] <~Deedles> Rei blinked before she put a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle a laugh, and not succeeding. "Oho! I bet you looked adorable when she said that!" she managed to say inbetween her laughter.
[03:15] <Earthflame> Jian squirms, cheeks red as he looks away, leaning towards the lake to splash some water on his face, murmuring "...Not that funny..."
[03:17] <~Deedles> "Yes it is!" She insisted in a tease, giggling still.
[03:18] <Earthflame> ...Jian slumps forwards, dunking his head in the lake for a moment, to drown out the laughter and to let the shock of cold clear his head.
[03:19] <~Deedles> Rei laid down on her back, her laughter dying down fully, before she tapped his back.
[03:20] <Earthflame> Jian lies down next to her, looking a little bedraggled but no longer scarlet with embarrasment.
[18:25] <~Deedles> "You feeling alright now?" She asked in a playful tone
[18:27] <Earthflame> "Cooled off..." he murmurs from the ground beside her.
[18:28] <~Deedles> "Good..." she smiled faintly, looking up at the clear blue sky.
[18:32] <Earthflame> He reaches over, slowly resting a hand against her shoulder.
[18:33] <~Deedles> Rei turned her head towards him, studying him curiously. Her reactions to his touch was getting less and less, she stiffened only faintly this time.
[18:34] <Earthflame> He smiles faintly at that, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.
[18:36] <~Deedles> "... Thank you." she returned his smile
[18:39] <Earthflame> "For what? If anything, I should be thanking you..."
[18:40] <~Deedles> "For being a good friend." Rei replied softly as she laid a hand on his shoulder
[18:42] <Earthflame> He lets out a low chuckle as he rubs her shoulder with his own, their arms crossing the space between them. "...I never had many friends, growing up. I knew people, but I was always so focused on my training... Yoshi and Shen were my first real friends, my brothers in arms... We met Chiyoko, and many others along the way... But out of all of them, the one I felt closest to is you, Rei."
[18:47] <~Deedles> "... Really?" She seemed a bit surprised at that, but smiled nonetheless "I feel the same." she answered
[18:48] <Earthflame> He smiles warmly back at her... But it doesn't entirely reach his eyes. "I'm glad."
[18:48] <~Deedles> Rei studied him for a moment "... Something wrong?"
[18:49] <Earthflame> He lets out a low chuckle. "...Grappling with complexity again."
[18:53] <~Deedles> "Oh?" She tilted her head to the side as she look concerned.
[18:54] <Earthflame> He doesn't even try to hide the embarrasment and uncertainty in his expression, as he turns his face back up to look at the sky. "...Trying to untangle how I feel."
[18:54] <~Deedles> Her gaze lowered as she slowly sat up "Yeah... Feelings can be confusing." she agreed quietly
[18:55] <Earthflame> Jian keeps his gaze on the sky... But his hand still rests against her back, forced to fall from it's position on her shoulder. "You are close to my heart, Rei... I know that for sure."
[18:58] <~Deedles> "And you to mine, but..." Her shoulders shifted uncomfortably as she looked the other way.
[18:59] <Earthflame> "...Hard to say exactly where?" He speaks softly.
[19:00] <~Deedles> "Yeah... I just don't... feel ready, or maybe I do and it's just that you're not... ugh." she gripped the sides of her head as she pulled her knees close to her, resting her forehead on them.
[19:02] <Earthflame> Jian keeps his fingertips gently rested against her back. "...I'm not sure what I want. When I'm close to you, I feel calm... But what does that mean?"
[19:04] <~Deedles> "I guess... that you're comfortable with me?" Rei suggested from where her head rested "That's how I feel at least."
[19:15] <Earthflame> "I feel... More than comfort. At peace?"
[19:16] <~Deedles> She lifted her head slightly "I feel the same... Mostly it's that I trust you."
[19:16] <Earthflame> "I'm glad of that..."
[19:22] <~Deedles> Rei glanced at him and nodded "So am I."
[19:23] <Earthflame> Jian stares up at the sky, speaking the word which seems to define the gap in his understanding, full of confusion and strangeness. "But... Always, there is a 'but'..."
[19:30] <~Deedles> "Yeah..." she agreed, her voice quiet as she turned to look out over the lake.
[19:31] <Earthflame> Jian lets the quiet sounds of wind and rain linger for a moment before he speaks again. "...I will always be your friend, Rei. No matter what changes, or what happens... I promise you that."
[19:32] <~Deedles> "And I will always be yours, Jian. As long as there's that, I'm happy." she answered with a soft smile, watching the ripples on the surface of the water.
[19:33] <Earthflame> "As am I, Rei..."