a guest Dec 26th, 2011 194 Never
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  1. I look with contemplative disdain upon my website, wondering if it holds any merit whatsoever above sites I once thought it did. On one side of the coin I want to educate these people in a way that I hold a fondness to, the same ways that I educate myself, however, on the other side this hinders my own education as I have to come to grasp with the fact that many people will not understand it. Several truly intelligent people visit my website, but in the whole I can conclude that many largely visit it for leisure or relaxation. This was not my goal. My goal was to create a medium for intelligent discussion in a community that I concluded had an obvious absence of. With this goal, I think I have failed. I don't know what to do, and have come to a blockade. Much information about me and many other visitors of my website is on my website that could be used slanderously against us in the future. Is this a bad thing? I think so. Many activites on my site are "illegal". If I ever want to gain any kind of credibility, this is not means to do so. On the whole, I think it would be better for myself and the patrons of my website if I wiped, and then sold, the website to an advertising company. While I do hold a level of emotional attachment to the website, the connection between myself and my users is completely lost. To even remotely restore this connection I would have to post immensely and completely wipe the userbase. If I said wasn't about me and was about the users, that would be a lie. It is about the users, but it is also about me. This is much in the same way that any website about an individual with a discussion forum is about the person who is the subject of the website. I am done with stepfiles. I am truly done. There is nothing about the form that is interesting to me anymore. If I create any more, it will be entirely for personal interest. Every single simfile I have created in the past year or so has been for educational purposes. Why did I do this? I don't know. I guess it was a passion for the community. I wanted everyone to see things in the same way I do, but not in a vain way. Not in a self-centered way. But more of a positive, forward-thinking way. If you say that you want everyone to think that sex feels good, does that really sound that bad? It's just how you phrase it, because you could word the last desire to "having everyone think like you", which seems more like some sort of weird twist on Stalinism. I don't think that my site holds any relevance. Most of my philosophy that defined the relevance of my site has been shattered in an attempt to discover what categorizes art as "fine" or not. Music games as a whole are just a pathetic diversion from actual musicianship, save maybe dancing games -- which I think are the only legitimate form of music game created so far. A dancing game is a unique athletic skill that has no athletic equal. Every other music game, does have an athletic equal. Guitar Hero has guitar. IIDX/O2Jam have piano. Drummania has drum kit. DanceManiaX is too fucking easy to matter. While music games could be used as training for musicians, none have mass appeal, which I guess is required for a music game. The fact that video games themselves are debated as being art or not really gives me more important things to think about. Video games are my first passion. They are an art, an entertainment, and a form of competition. It's beautiful. I don't know what to do with my site. I just know that.. it has to end. I can't keep running it. I can't let someone else run it. I HAVE to get rid of it. The website will remain in the memories of people who loved it. I have to get rid of it, because it is best for the people on my website. For myself, I could abandon the website and leave it up, but I rarely think of myself in this case. I want everyone else to be bettered by the website's loss, hopefully this will make them more intelligent. In doing this, I have contributed something of my meager 17 years of life to humanity. I think I will get rid of it after the Keys of Flames. That seems like a good date. At least it will circulate underground, and I can formulate my closing statements with rationality. In good taste I shouldn't do this, but one point that I want to address is machogang. This group currently exhibits a belief that the internet is a frivolous medium and communication over the internet is one of strictly leisure. By getting rid of my website, members of this group would assume that I am supporting this belief. I am not. If I had made my website with a stricter set of boundaries and a clear goal from the beginning, I could achieve what I desire my goal to be now. But I have not, I have failed. My biggest concern is with my site's staff. Actually, I think they will understand. They are the brightest people that have regulated my website. Why wouldn't they? I don't know how much I have typed during all of this. It's all a blur. I haven't gone back to check anything. But.., in my mind, is over. Letting someone else lead the site just proved to be a mistake. It's like letting Marxists attempt to replicate Pythagoreans, the beliefs, ideas, and goals of a person have to be there. I, myself, am not fit to run anymore. I think that I have brought myself to the conclusion that my website isn't relevant to anything other than a form of entertainment, and my only attempt is to bring the open-minded few from my website to the same belief, then we can truly expand on our intelligence without a warped ideal like that. What role do I play as a founder and administrator of a website with 200,000 posts? Substitute teacher. I can't continue to run this circus. I have buried this point into the ground. I need to save myself.
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