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How to Troll a Spam E-mail Fraud

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Aug 14th, 2012
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  1. Ever wondered how to get back at those annoying email frauds who keep spamming your mailbox? Here is a fine example of gentlemanly trolling by a Finnish columnist, Vihtori Koskinen.
  2.  
  3. Original text: http://yle.fi/uutiset/minulla_oli_suhde/6255227
  4.  
  5. Translated by Krozam.
  6. __________________________
  7.  
  8. I Had a Relationship
  9.  
  10. You don't usually shout about these things in public, but the antics of the the wench in this story were quite something.
  11.  
  12. (Under the photo: The girl in the photo isn't Joanna.)
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  14. Her name is Joanna. She's 25 and she lives in the US. Everything started when one early summer day I got an e-mail.
  15.  
  16. The sender used the alias Sexy-Joanna. In the mail she told me how she was looking for love and affection into her life.
  17.  
  18. Even the web translation program couldn't squash Joanna's wistful message:
  19.  
  20. "What means the most to me is heart, love, happiness. I want to find your touch and true love. Hopefully you think the same.
  21.  
  22. I could come over to you, if you just believe in my love?" (TL note: I didn't bother trying to make it sound as bad as it sounds in Finnish, just made a quick direct translation.)
  23.  
  24. What could I think after reading such emotional lines. I was sold. I cracked my fingers and typed:
  25.  
  26. "Dear Joanna.... I was flattered that you pick me..." (<TL note: Untranslated line, obviously.) I asked her, how out of all the people in the world she'd thought about me? What had granted me the honour of being the object of her prospective love?
  27.  
  28. Then we exchanged some mails. Joanna wrote that I was such a nice man that she sent a picture of herself.
  29.  
  30. The girl in the picture had a pretty face, I guess. The face was decorated by mirroring sunglasses and some kind of a baseball cap. Not much was visible of the face, though, because the boobs pretty much took the front. In fact, it looked a little as if a nose and sunglasses were peeking out from between big-ish tits.
  31.  
  32. I politely thanked Joanna for the picture and sent her one of mine. In that picture I was about 7 years old and my skin was pitted, because at the time the photo was taken, I was in the throes of chickenpox.
  33.  
  34. We raised the stakes. Joanna wrote that she'd fly to Finland the next day. She had got herself tickets and all, but believe it or not, on the way home she'd been robbed. Joanna still hoped to meet me, so she could fly to Finland anyway. However, the robbers also got all her money. Joanna wished me to pay for her flight, 700 euros.
  35.  
  36. I also received very detailed instructions on how to transfer the money to a foreign account. Apparently it's very important that the transfer numbers are written in the right columns.
  37.  
  38. I wrote her that I could book her flight myself. That way, a robbed, upset woman wouldn't have to make the effort. I'd only need her personal details.
  39.  
  40. After that, the flame of a budding love flopped. Joanna went silent.
  41.  
  42. Money didn't change owner. Big-tits-Joanna didn't fly to Finland.
  43.  
  44. Some people really walk into this kind of a trap.
  45.  
  46. Vihtori Koskinen
  47. YLE Lahti
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