Your Wonka Tour

1)  You can't resist a sip from the delicious-looking chocolate river. That was a mistake - it's barely a few minutes before you're as wide as you are tall, just a big warm ball of highly-volatile molten chocolate. You whimper and pout as the loompas roll you away.


2)  You had to eat so many candy bars to get here, but it all feels worth it when you waddle your way into the tasting room. Unfortunately, you're so entranced with all the delicious candies that you barely notice as some doors close behind you -- enjoy your new job as permanent taste-tester!


3)  You were skeptical when you won a spot on this tour, but one taste of the delicious chocolates in the tasting room, and you're completely addicted. So addicted, in fact, that you proceed to eat until your gut is down to your feet and you can barely lift your arms. Everyone watches as your helplessly overweight body is hauled away by a team of oompa-loompas -- sorry, looks like you've lost the tour.


4)  The oompa loompas are more mischievous than you realized. While everyone is exploring the tasting room, a few of them capture you and decide you'll make a nice receptacle for all the defective chocolates. It seems impossible, but only a few minutes of tube-feeding later, you're as wide as you are tall and utterly powerless to get away.


5)  You're not the nicest guest on the tour -- you make to push in the fat one who's eyeing the chocolate river, but end up tripping yourself. The chocolate soaks into you, filling you up and addicting you to the substance, until you can't help but guzzle down even more. A large glass pipe hovers over you, waiting to take the naughty guest away...


6)  A tree with something interesting catches your eye -- chocolate covered bacon? You ignore the "do not touch" sign, gobbling down as many as you can grab, and it's only when your skin turns a light pink shade that you realize your mistake. Triangular ears and a porcine snout signal your disobedience, and everyone watches as your body swells and sags with hundreds of pounds of piggy fat. Don't worry -- there is always work in the factory, even for someone in your state.


7)  A marshmallow mushroom? "Not for human consumption" signs won't stop you. It's so delicious, you wolf down the entire thing. But you're looking a bit pale... Soon, your whole body is filling up with marshmallow fluff, and you can't even keep yourself from tumbling into the chocolate river. All that warm fudge has you swelling up even more, a delicious chocolate-covered marshmallow. And here comes the pipe, to take you away...


8)  A three course meal, all in a piece of gum? That sounds great to you. You ignore Wonka's warning, chomping through all the delicious flavors... Blueberry pie and ice cream! But, everyone is giving you looks. You feel a bit funny... They all become blueberries, you're informed. Soon you're just a helpless ball of juice, the oompa-loompas singing about your foolishness as they roll you away to an uncertain fate.


9)  The three-course gum sounds great to you, even if Wonka says there are a LOT of problems with it. Unfortunately, almost as soon as you start chewing, it starts going wrong -- the tomato soup has far too many calories, leaving you hundreds of pounds fatter, to your embarrassment. Then, the roast beef reacts too, and you find yourself with a pronounced cow snout and a big, sloshy udder down beneath your double-belly. You can't stop chewing, just praying that maybe at least dessert might go okay...


10) The three-course gum isn't ready at all, but that doesn't stop you. Not even when Wonka informs you that it's really a one-course meal, for now -- just the tomato soup, but it's not ready yet. You chew on anyway, only starting to regret it when your skin darkens in color, and your whole body begins to fill up with the thick, warm stuff. A few minutes later, and you're little more than a helpless soup-balloon, and the oompa loompas are singing your farewell song.


11) You don't have time to wait for the stupid gum-machine to work its magic, and you just grab a whole pie for you to eat. You've always been a big eater, of course, which is how you won this golden ticket. Unfortunately, though you were able to ignore the quips about your piggish nature, you can't ignore how your skin is rapidly turning a shade of dark blue. "The fat ones usually end up extra-large..." Wonka says dryly, as you start to swell even bigger...


12) You ignore the warnings, take the gum, you don't care. However, there's a problem with the dessert -- it's the ice cream, as a matter of fact. The dairy reacts badly with your system, and soon you find yourself a big, fat anthropomorphic cow, with an udder the size of a beach ball that's dribbling... is that blueberry-flavored ice cream? It's actually cold, even. Unfortunately, there's no changing you back, but Wonka says they're sure to find some use for someone like you...


13) The first course of the gum you've stolen goes fine, but it all goes wrong when they get to the roast beef. Soon your ears are floppy, and your nose is big and pink, and your whole body is covered in mottled black-and-white fur. What's more, there's still another course afterwards -- now you're a fat, round blueberry, too. You're horrifically embarrassed, but can't stop chewing like the cow you've become as the oompa loompas tease you for your stupidity.


14) Wonka says they've worked most of the kinks out of the gum by now, which makes you feel a little bolder when you ignore his warnings. Still, there's one major issue -- the courses never end! You can't help yourself from chewing and chewing, eating so much that you quickly begin to look even fatter than that german boy who went up the pipe. Soon you're too fat to waddle, and Wonka informs you they've never really figured out how to make it stop, at all.


15) You're a rule-abiding guest. You would never take something you were told not to. Which is why it comes as a terrible shock when Wonka begins proudly informing the rest of the group that the gum you're currently chewing will turn you into an "enormous miracle", a juice factory that never runs out. You're rounding out, becoming a blueberry, as your belt snaps off. He pats your growing gut proudly, saying "this is the one that's really going to sizzle old slugworth", while you chew on, powerless to stop yourself...


16) You pressed the button again when Wonka wasn't looking, so the piece that comes out is super-charged. You don't care. It's only after you're a whimpering ball of juice, barely capable of waddling even a single step, when Wonka informs you that you're fit to pop any second, and a second helping of dessert is coming soon, that you worry you might have made a mistake.


17) A whole room, dedicated just to making cakes. There must be thousands of gallons of cake batter flowing here. What could it hurt to try, you think. The group is about to leave, when they notice you starting to swell. Wonka informs you the cake batter is extremely unpredictable and highly compressed. It won't stop until you're at least thirty feet across, with the whole mouthful you greedily devoured. You've lost the tour, of course, and what's more, you'll have a lovely end as a delicious cake! Your mind grows foggy as they roll you towards the oven...


18) The fizzy lifting drinks seemed harmless when you grabbed one surreptitiously. It's only as you're walking down the hallway to the next room when you start to feel a bit... gassy. Wonka proudly informs everyone of just how incredibly carbonated his drinks are, as you begin to swell into a taut sphere of pressurized gas. Belching madly does nothing to help, and Wonka says it could be months before you're able to be properly de-gassed... if at all. On the plus side, by the time you're done growing, you'll make a fabulous parade float!


19) The stupid geese in the egg room seem os dreadfully boring. What was the matter with poking them to get them to do something, anyway? Wonka clicks his tongue disapprovingly as you feel yourself begin to grow, round out... into one very large golden egg, albeit with head, hands, and feet attached. You are humiliated as oompa loompas polish you, wrap you, and get you ready for sale as the other tour guests watch.


20) Who wouldn't sing a song about all their keenly-felt demands when they arrived into an egg-laying room? An important tour guest like you deserves everything they want. The oompa-loompas agreed -- they've been only too happy to cram the contents of every last egg, chocolate bar, and drum filled with icing that they can into you. Even as you begged them to stop, of course. Oh well, there are worse ways to lose a tour than to become a greedy, force-fed blimp over ten feet across.


21) The egg room has all sorts of interesting fillings, you notice. Wonka says they are strictly for use in finished eggs only, but who cares about that? A quick sip on the hose of creamy peanut butter leads to you soon hungrily suckling at it, devouring the contents as fast as you can. It's the best peanut butter you've ever had in your life, and you're getting dozens, if not hundreds of gallons of it. All the filling for all the eggs is going straight into you, and your mind is too hazy with need to stop it, even as the loompas begin to sing...


22) The creamery room is filled with a lot of dreadfully awful mooing, which bores you to death. What you are interested in, however, is the cream filling they make here -- you've always loved Wonka's cream filling. You love it even more as you suckle from an oddly-convenient hose of the stuff, your belly filling and rounding out with incredible speed. You don't stop, even as the loompas come to roll you away...


23) For how incredibly delicious Wonka's pastries are, the room where they're made is weirdly boring. There aren't even any samples, as he tells you nothing is to be touched. You don't listen, of course -- you gobble down what looks like a finished eclair, only to find there is no filling in it. The effects are obvious, though. Soon you find yourself swelling big and round, filling up with something soft and heavy -- dough, you realize. Dough that very much needs filling... your mind goes hazy with need and you open your mouth for the cream-filled pastry bag that descends from the ceiling...


24) The television department of Wonka's factory is a relatively new one, but an exciting one nonetheless. You dash over to a couch with a massive screen in front of it, ignoring or not seeing the "DO NOT SIT" signs. Mechanical arms offer you a soda and a popcorn, which you gladly accept. The TV is enjoyable, almost mesmerizing... You eat, and eat, and eat some more, without even noticing that you're packing on hundreds of pounds of fat. Belly rolls pour out over thighs like pie filling over a crust. In minutes, you're one of the fattest things around, and you don't care, as long as you get to keep watching TV.


25) You're only too eager to be the first person to be shrunken via Wonkavision (he *can* reverse it, right?). However, the strip of gum you sneakily nabbed from the inventing room comes back to haunt you -- when you come out, you're as blue as a smurf, and just as tall. It doesn't end there, though, as your tiny body begins to swell like a little water balloon. By the time it starts to slow, you're as tight as a drum, nearly two feet wide and only a foot and a half tall. Looks like you didn't finish this tour.


26) You're near the end of the tour, you can *taste* victory. However, your fellow tour guest isn't so sportsmanlike -- she shoves you into the Wonkavision, delighting that her main competition is now six inches tall. That isn't all, though. She reveals several bottles of fizzy lifting drink, which she forces into your tiny mouth. You balloon outwards like a tiny water balloon, all your clothes popping off of you as you swell. She taunts you, rolling you around and shaking you, agitating the carbonation, making you blow up even bigger. Soon you're the size and shape of a large beach ball, and there's no telling if you'll ever get to go back.


27) The bar of chocolate you had in your pocket reacts badly as you throw yourself into the Wonkavision shrinking machine. You're turned a dark shade of brown, and your whole body begins rapidly producing more of the stuff, making you swell from a diminutive six-inch figure to a three-foot ball of warm chocolate. Wonka delightedly informs you that this has given him an excellent idea for a new chocolate production process... one that you have no choice but to play a key role in.


28) The Wonkavision teleporting/shrinking machine was not quite ready, unfortunately, when you waddled your way into it. All three hundred pounds of your obesity are going to stay with you as you shrink down to a tenth of your original height. Proportionally speaking, you're as incredibly replete with fat as a person weighing multiple tons, which Wonka proudly informs you makes you the fattest person in history, in some sense.


29) Oh dear, it seems that the cream in the three-course meal isn't agreeing with you. Now, not only are you swelling up into a giant fruit, you've got quite a bit of gas, to boot. Everyone is giggling as you're rolled around, helplessly flapping your hands and belching uncontrollably. Wonka says that they might be able to capture that gas and make use of you, at least.


30) Well, you chewed the gum, against all the warnings. They rolled you to the juicing room, and lo and behold, they stopped you from exploding! They even managed to squeeze you out enough that you can go home! Of course, it might be a little hard to explain why you look like a half-filled water balloon, or why you're blue from head to toe, or why you randomly fill up into a helpless ball at the slightest provocation. But hopefully, you'll manage.


31) Congratulations! You were a good tour guest and made it all the way through. Wonka informs you this means you get the whole factory! ...Wait, why do you look disappointed?