FOUR, TWO

I’M A COMPUTER.
I’M A COMPUTERY GUY.
EVERYTHING MADE OUT OF BUTTONS AND WIRES.
I’D LIKE TO SHOW YOU.
INSIDE MY DIGITAL LIFE.
INSIDE MY MIND THERE IS A DIGITAL MIND.

Oh, then maybe you can help us answer these questions.

ONE: WHAT IS THE BIGGEST THING IN THE WORLD, AND WHY?

TWO: ARE YOU SURE THAT THIS WILL BE EASIER THAN THE PREVIOUS QUIZ? ANSWER WITH A YES OR NO.

THREE: NAME THE BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR TRANSLITERATING DRENOVIAN INTO THE REALM OF FICTION.

FOUR: WHAT IS THE TRUE NAME OF GOD?

FIVE: IS THERE A GENESIS? HOW DO YOU KNOW? PROVIDE EXAMPLES FROM APOCRYPHA.

SIX: NAME ONE OF THE BEINGS THAT EXISTED AT THE DAWN OF TIME.

SEVEN: WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT COLOR IN REALITY? THERE ARE MULTIPLE ANSWERS. PICK ONE AND DEFEND IT.

EIGHT: BASED ON PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES WITH THE SUBSTANCE, WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THE REFINER’S FIRE? WHAT IS ANOTHER NAME FOR THE SUBSTANCE? WHAT DOES IT POWER, AND HOW DO YOU KNOW?

NINE: ARE YOU WILLING TO DIE FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO FULFILL THEIR LIFELONG DREAM?

TEN: WILL YOU MISS ME?

ELEVEN: IS IT POSSIBLE FOR W.D. GASTER TO EXIST IN AN ACTUALIZED REALITY? HOW DO YOU KNOW? BASE YOUR ANSWER OFF OF EVIDENCE YOU HAVE SEEN ACROSS FICTION.

TWELVE: WHAT IS THE CHOIR INVISIBLE? EXPLAIN.

((Questions thirteen through fifteen were encrypted via the Vigenere key INTERROBANG, which showed that they were the hardest questions to answer.))

THIRTEEN: FILL IN THE BLANKS. "SUDDENLY, TEAM FORTRESS ____." "AND THEN THE THING THAT WAS ____ WAS GONE." "CRACKS IN THE ____ ITSELF." "WE’VE GOT TO GET YOU ____... TO THE ____." "IF ____ COULD SEE ME NOW." "WHEN THERE’S SOMETHING STRANGE. IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. GUESS WHO IT IS. ____." "AND JUST LIKE THAT, ____." "I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. I SMELL SO BAD, THE STENCH CANNOT BE EXPRESSED WITH EVEN THE MOST ELOQUENT, FLORID LANGUAGE. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I HAVE WON SPECIAL AWARDS FOR DISCOVERING NEW PLACES TO TOUCH MYSELF EROTICALLY WHILE FARTING. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS "PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS, CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT." WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, ____."

FOURTEEN: WHY ARE THE CURSES OF THE ORDER SYMBOLS OF OBSCURE PUNCTUATION?

FIFTEEN: WHAT IS IT?