Thread 65: Stories 1-15

https://archive.moe/mlp/thread/22152409/
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
"Twi"
'Pinkie'
[Dash]
{FS}
(Rarity)
^Spike^
~Luna~
~~~

>Corn muffins? Really? That's it? Can't ya' get at least a couple applefritters in there?

"I'm not a skilled cook, and it was my turn to make breakfast. The science of food is not the science I know."

'Awww, don't be like that Twi! Anything can be great if you put on juuuuussstt the right amount of sugar on it!'

[So, not quite at diabetes levels, but close?]

'Huh? What's diabetes?'

{...Oh dear.}

'Hah! Just kidding, I know what it is, and maaayyy or may not stay up awake in abject fear that it will one day take me.'

(...Are... are you serious?)

~SHE IS!~

^GAH Luna! Inside voice! INSIDE VOICE! Just because I don't have visible ears does not mean I do not feel PAIN from them!^

~We merely wished to point out that indeed her dreams consist of this a lot... when she's not in the midst of a talkshow.~

>A what now?

~Do not ask.~

>Well... fine. Guess Ah' can try them.

[Oh no! Applejack is betraying her sacred apples! THE WORLD SHALL END!]

>AH HAVE A DANG CARROT PATCH NEXT TA' MAH HOUSE! It has it's own little shed and everythin'! Ah' farm OTHER STUFF besides apples ya' know!... Or ah' used to!

'I just figured you left that there so Big Mac could get close enough to Golden Harvest to... harvest her crop? Eh? Ehhhh?'

~...Thine mares name is Golden Harvest? What an unwieldy name!~

'Carrot Top was taken, and they get mean when you steal that stuff.'

*POW!*

'OWIE!'

>Don't you be implyin' nothin' about mah' brother! He ain't bangin' nobody till he's married!

~Well, someone isn't that interested in keeping a strong family line! If thou were, thou would encourage him to breed as many mares as he could!~

>...Ah' just threw up a little in mah' mouth.

"There there... it's not that bad."

~Says the mare who's brother, as she would tell it, mated with Chrysalis in a great variety of ways and of very indiscriminate nature? As she described it, it involved 'buckets' of something at some point.~

>
"..."
'...'
[..]
{...}
(...)
^...Is anyone else not hungry now?^

"I... I never want to eat again..."

'No amount of sugar is going to get that mental image out of my head.'

{...Luna? If you have ever had a drop of kindness to you, you will make it so I never dream again. If not... I will sick Discord on you.}

(Darling? Will you get my eyedrops, I'm never closing them again... I fear what lies on the other side.)

^...Screw descriptions, HRRKKKKKK!^

>Buck this, Ah'm out.

"Me too."
'LATER!'
[Bet you all can't leave as fast as me!]
*POP*
[CHEATER! NO CHAOS POWERS!]
(A lady does not leave until she is done... and I am so done!)
^It's either this or the gun!^

*They all leave*

~Huzzah! The muffins are all mine now!... Oh drat, we are all alone again... this is why Celestia does not let me come to these things...~

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Fluttershy
"???"
~~~

She didn't make much noise as she went down the hall. Really, she never made much noise ever. Never made a fuss, never made much of a racket... well, except for those few times. But those few times were special. She liked it that way.

But the one she was after was making a ruckus, even though she wasn't meaning to. How odd, it was, to see her like this. Frown on her face, eyes darting all around, heart obviously racing and pacing with an obvious discomfort. This was nothing like her at all. She was normally cackling, carefree and wild, not spiteful, glaring and huffing. This wasn't like her at all.

>Chrysalis?

She jumped. She actually jumped. Her, little old 'never would hurt a fly and would find a way to make a little cast for the poor thing if it had hurt it's wing' Fluttershy, had made her jump.

She didn't like this at all.

>Chrysalis? Are... are you okay? I'm sorry Applejack didn't go with your plan, but it's not a big deal. You can always talk to her and see if she has another idea you can both work on, there's no need to be upset.

She was hiding a lot there. She needed no chaos to see she had once again cast an illusion of power over herself to hide away, blocked from the world by her magic. It was a feeling Fluttershy knew all too well, though she was more prone to simply hiding behind her hair than that.

"Upset? Whatever makes you think I'm upset?"

She felt... cold there. She wasn't afraid, not really. Chrysalis had long since gone past the point where she could instill fear in her. Frankly, sometime after she cackled like a maniac while using her as an actual drill to punch through a building, she just plain didn't feel afraid of her anymore.

...She tried not to think too hard about that.

>You're not hiding it very well.

"Oh, I am merely a bit... irritated, that's all. Not to worry, I'm sure some fun will clear that all right up, won't it?"

For the greatest liar on the planet, she sure was terrible at it sometimes.

>Chrysalis... do you want to talk about it?

"Talk about what, Fluttershy?"

>You're upset, I know you're upset, but if you'd just talk to us-

"Don't be silly, I am merely... thoughtful."

>Chrysalis....

"Really, you're acting like this in any way surprises me? I knew it was going to fail, I merely decided to gamble a bit on a fancy, nothing else."

>Chrysalis.

"I mean, come now. I'm no worse off than I was a bit ago, I still have all of my things and my ballroom and all of my other allies, yes? I wasn't upset before this, why would I be so now? Nothing has changed."

>Chrysalis!

"What she chooses is of no worry to me, and of course I would never change-"

>Chrysalis stop it!

Her voice had gone higher right there than it ever had in the Queen's presence, and that was quite obvious the instant she laid eyes on that shocked, chitinous face.

>Chrysalis... I hid a lot from my friends, a lot, and it didn't go away, and it didn't get any better, and eventually it got so bad that it nearly hurt me, and them, and everyone else even though I never wanted it to. I could have hurt a lot of ponies and changelings and so many others, all because I didn't want to find any help to solve my problems. I thought it was my fault, and I didn't want them involved so I could deal with it on my own, and it didn't work. Keeping it inside... just makes you go crazy.

Shock remained for a moment, only a moment... and then with a wisp of flame it was carried away.

"I am sorry I cannot help you with your chaos training today, Fluttershy... I have other business I need to attend to. We'll go work on it more later."

With a flourish, she spun on her heels and hurried her pace, already off towards what Fluttershy knew to be the ballroom, off towards whatever it was she hoped to do, or accomplish.

And off... away from Fluttershy, and her words.

Words whispered once again that she knew... nobody would hear.

>...I'm sorry I was so quiet....

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Dash
"Fleetfoot"
'Soarin'
[Lightning Dust]
{Gilda}
~Bulk~
~~~

>Okay, soooo... I'm sure you've all heard the news, and I'm sure you all have responses that-

"TEAR HER APART!"

>...M'kay, not an appropriate response, and I'm making a little note in this book about that. You have been noted, please take note of this noting or I will have to note the fact you do not acknowledge the noting I am doing right now, which is the original noting, not the noting of said lack of noting.

"..."

>Alright, while she's crosseyed and trying to figure that one out, next? Soarin', let's hear from you on this one.

'Uh... I just kind of feel really bad for her, being a Wonderbolt meant everything to her, and now she had to give it up just to not be a laughing stock anymore.'

>...Soul destroying! Very soul destroying, but I am happy for your honesty. Thank you for that, that's a boon. Next! You there, the oddly recolored clone of me in looks and quite a lot of mannerisms, your thoughts?

[Does she get payed more?]

>...That is not open to the public, and I would not know.

[If she gets paid more I might just-]

>NO!

[...]

>...I mean, do go on!

[Might just ask for a raise...]

>Oh... well, in the event a crystal air-force member gets paid more than you, yes, we will re-evaluate the pay in order to keep a competitive edge. Gilda! Thoughts?

{...Is Fleetfoot on drugs?}

>Much to my continued amazement, no. As far as every single legal test and some very questionable ones made while she was passed out...

"..."

>...M'kay, still down. Anyway due to all of that, as far as I can tell she's never injected a single drug in her life in any orifice nor vein, she has never even smoked poison joke. She has come in contact with it, but never taken it. Now, normally this would be enough for disbarment, but as it turns out if I disbarred her, I would disbar all of you, since thanks to the fact EVERYONE had taken drugs, all of you have inadvertently come in contact with it.

{WAIT WHAT!?}

>...Bulky! Bulkster, the incredible Bulk, how you feeling about all this?

~I miss Spitfire...~

>...No no, that's okay, I didn't need that soul anyway. SO! Just wanted to get all of your opinions on the matter, and that's all. Good talk, good meeting, now please get back to work because at this moment absolutely nothing is being watched or staffed, despite the fact we all fit in a bench seat at a diner and could likely all squeeze onto a medium sized love seat. Dismissed, everyone!

They all leave, grumbling under their breaths.

Almost all of them.

>...Fleetfoot?

"..."

>...Fleet? Fleety deety bo beaty? Meetings done. You can go home now.

"..."

>...You know what? I've got shit to do. Try not to wander near any schools or something.

"..."

With that, Rainbow Dash also left.

"...Why IS my name Fleetfoot..."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>AJ
"Applebloom"
~~~

>So, how's school been goin'.

"Miss Cheerilee sawed a six-legged goat in half..."

>...Thought Ah' got ya' out of that school.

"Yeah, turns out, ya' gotta, like... do paperwork fer' me ta' go ta' school up here."

>...So ah' do.

"..."

>...

"..."

>...How's Mac?

"He punched a rabid manticore in the middle of the town yesterday."

>Huh... good fer' him.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Rarity
„Cadance“
~~~~~~

Following the princess meeting that had decided the future of the Guard, Rarity felt restless. She had been idle for far too long, and that inspiring speech by the newly appointed Guard captain had prompted her to once again seek to prove her worth as a princess among the others.

As she approached Celestia's office to ask if she could be of assistance, a strange sound reached her ears. A faint, tired-sounding mumbling. Ever the curious one, she slows her elegant stride and cranes her neck towards the doorway to listen. Not eavesdropping. She certainly wasn't eavesdropping.

„...penalty not to exceed 20 percent of the tax due... interest not to exceed 15 percent a year... If a taxpayer is given the right to pay tax in two installments...“

Blinking rapidly, Rarity finally moves so that she may gaze around the corner, beholding the curious sight of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. The pink pony princess drops her head forwards onto the obscenely big Property Tax Law book she had been reading through, eyes squeezing shut as if in pain just as she knocks.

“I am sorry, Auntie. I-I just can't. My head hurts from just reading this. I don't think I can actually manage to memorize it. It's just so much.”

>Well, dear princess, you are in luck.

Cadance lifts her head abruptly, looking shocked at the unexpected arrival.

“Rarity?”

>Princess Rarity, actually. Not that... I have actually earned that title yet. But to my original point. You need not memorize every single law. The trick to knowing what taxes apply, when and in what measure, is to know where you can find which law. If not by number, at least by section or range of paragraph number.

“Y-You know tax law? I would never have guessed. From the few times we met you have been so much into fashion, trends and beauty. Which is great! I am all about that myself.”

Rarity smiles a well-practiced, sweet smile and trots closer to the other alicorn.

>Well, as a boutique owner and jeweler who makes her own designs, knowing where to pinch a bit out of the system is a must. It stands to reason that, until a certain point, the more you gain, the more you pay to the system. ...May I?

The white-coated alicorn gestures at the space before the book beside Cadance, and the other mare nods, still looking perplexed.

>I assume you are learning all this for the sake of your Empire, correct?

“Yes. I have been neglecting the whole thing about laws, economy and how to rule in favor of public appearances, maintaining image and making press. I... feel so bad Shiny had to go through all this alone.

Cadance head and shoulders sag, the picture book example of dismay and regret. Rarity never drops her smile, but her eyes take on a more compassionate look.

>Now, now, Princess, no need to let a minor setback such as this cut through your regal poise. How about us striking a deal?

“A... deal?”

>Mmmh hmm. I shall help you in the quest of a better, easier grasp of what you need to know about learning and applying the law to your own needs.

“And in exchange...?”

>Oh, nothing, nothing. Maybe once you handle your Empire on your own, you would remember me and like to talk about the state of affairs between the Empire and Canterlot in detail over a cup of good tea.

Rarity titters, raising her hoof demurely to hide her mouth.

>Perhaps followed by a trip to a hooficure or spa. I DO remember how fond you were of those.

And for the first time in a while, Cadance dares to smile. In a perhaps too personal gesture of gratitude, she throws her hooves over the other mare's shoulders and hugs her.

“Thank you! You don't know how much this means to me.”

Flustered, Rarity can only pat the other princess on the back, eyes darting left and right, cautious of being seen in such a compromising position with Cadance.

>I-I can imagine. Now, shall we begin? First, how to organize your notes and bookmarks...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Pinkie
"SA"
~~~

"...Crap, out of ink. See, this is why I say 'Don't rub your ass on my desk', because then you knock over my ink, and then I have to get more, and it's expensive so I have to go see Eighteen and ask her to-"

SHOOP!

>HIYA!

"...And then I have to promise her she can have the comfy spot so she-"

>WHOA WHOA WHOA! I just literally, LITERALLY pop out of your drawer, just... you open it up, POP! PINKIE IN YOUR FACE! And you don't even react!? You just kind of shuffle me off to the side and keep looking!?

"I need to get the ink."

>What happened to you man!? You used to freak out at all my crazy stuff, now it just seems like the fire's gone out of our relationship!

"It's just been... you know... different."

>It's her, isn't it?

"Now come on, don't-"

>It's all about her, isn't it!? The minute you start hanging out more with HER, none of my craziness does anything for you?

"No no! You're still crazy, really!"

>But I'm not as crazy as her, isn't it?!

"Don't be like that!"

>I'm being like that! What, am I just not crazy in comparison to your weird threesome with a love-sapping bug monster who does your paperwork while disguised as your wife, am I!?

"Pinkie no, you're still crazy and kooky and all of that! You're still the..."

>...can't even bring yourself to say it, can you?

"Now that's not fair. I have a living supervillain down the hall who plays racquet ball with me on saturdays, it's tough to compete."

>I KNEW IT!

"Pinkie no!"

>I KNEW YOU WERE B-B-B... B-B-B....

"Don't say it!"

>B-B-B-BOORRED!

"No!"

>I KNEWWWHEWHEWHEWIIIIIITTTT!

"No Pinkie no! I'm not bored! You're not boring!'

>Y-YES YOU ARRRREEE! YOU MEAAAANNNNYYYYY!

"I'M SORRY!"

>AHHHHHWWWWWWWWW!

"Uh... uh..."

>UHUBUHHHhhhhh... sniffle...

"..."

>...

"...Wait."

>...

"...This is the craziest thing that's happened to me today!"

>Y-YOU MEAN!?

"Yes. Nothing as crazy as a pink mare appearing in my office and crying because my life is too nuts for her to compete with on the looney scale has happened in a whole week! You're the top again!"

>I KNEW IT! I KNEW I WAS THE BEST! You do care!

"Of course I do! I'm sorry for doubting you, Pinkie."

>C'mere you!

She hugged him, tightly and strongly. He returned the favor.

>...You know what would really make it up to me?

"What's that?"

>Weellll... remember that deal from a while ago? That you made when you visited my folks with me?

"...uh huh..."

>How's about you give my folks a discount on the-

"Nope."

>CRACKERJACKS!

"I knew this was a ploy, by the way."

>You played along with it!

"Like I said, you ARE pretty fun."

>Awwwwww!

"...Your plan failed, you can stop hugging me now."

>...

"..."

>Little longer?

"...Okay."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Twilight"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and we're back on a new thread! Now for our main guest...TWILIGHT!!!

"Oh thank goodness you're okay."

>Why wouldn't I be?

"I heard from Applejack that-"

>Whoops, I knew I forgot something.

"Forgot what?

>Nothing. Now what do you think about the challenge issued to the writers?

"Wh-"

>A great answer to the start of a great thread!

"But-"

>No, late night Pinkie doesn't count. That's cheating. Write something canon and somepony different this time.
Spoilsport. Twilight wakes up feeling disturbed.

"I don't know what just happened."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Twilight
"Spike"
'Sunset'
~~~~

"Okay, so, run this by me again. This giant ass machine does what now?"

>It measures.... ugh. It measures 'sparklejoules'-

'PFFT!'

>-via a combination of noting magical fluctuations, chemicals released in the brain, heightened heart rate and hormones in the blood stream. With this, we can tell how much charge a single sparklejoule-

"PFFT!"

>-has on the body, and how it effects a changeling's biology. With this, we can also tell what intensity level a sparklejoule-

"'PFFFT!'"

>-has on the- YOU KNOW WHAT IT DOES!

"...Pffttthahahahahahha!"

'W-who... who named this!?'

>My sister in law, THANK YOU!

"A-a-and whyyyyyy did Cadence get to name it?"

>...Don't make me say it.

"Come on, you're not trying to take credit for it, right?"

>Don't make me say it.

"Come ooooonnn."

>...She's... she's smarter in this field than me...

"...PFFTTAHAHAHAHAH!"

'W-WHAT!? WHAT!? Princess Cadence? Princess CADENCE!? I mean, okay, she wasn't like an idiot who couldn't count or do basic math or stuff, she wasn't a moron, but... CADENCE!? Vapid stare, nothing of note done, CADENCE!?'

>Again, that's my SISTER IN LAW you are talking about! I will fight you!

'...C-CADENCE!?'

>UGGHH! I KNOW! Just... ugh. Just get the subject.

"Wait, what subject?"

>...

"...Twilight no."

>Come here.

"T-twwwilight? TWILIGHT NO!"

>I need a subject and you are right here!

"TWILIGHT I'M SORRY!"

>COME HERE!

"SUNSET HELP!"

'...I'm good.'

"BETRAYAL!"

*She drags him off*

"NOOOOOOO!"

'...Hee hee... 'sparklejoules'....

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"???"
~~~~

Irritation.

Annoyance.

Worry.

She knew these things all too well at this point.

She knew them as well as she knew the back of her hoof, of every hole she had in her leg. She knew them oh, oh so well. She knew them, oh, how she knew them.

She lived them everyday, she slept with them every night, she knew these feelings no matter how often and how easily she could shunt them away, hidden from the world. She knew them... oh, how she knew them.

"Uh..."

Which is why she knew when they became exponentially worse out of the blue.

"Um... hiiiii?"

She was used to a lot of things in her life.

...But one thing the Queen of the changelings was in no way used to was seeing, of all ponies, the annoying pink one frown, and look utterly lost.

"...So... hey! You know what I just noticed? I never threw you guys a 'welcome to Canterlot' party! I know, I know, I wasn't here when you guys arrived, but still, that's no excuse! That's an oversight on my part of being the premier party pony, and that's just no good!"

She was obviously trying to get into the swing of things, but totally lost on how to proceed. Chrysalis had to admit... this was an odd thing to see.

"Maybe we can throw you guys one now! I mean, come on, it's only been almost a year! What's a couple months between parties?"

Irritation.

Annoyance.

Worry.

She knew these things all too well at this point.

"...Look, I'm trying okay? It's just... Twilight seems to really trust you, but you always bug me. Hah! Bug, get it?... Inappropriate. It's just you and me never clicked, you know? We never really got together and had a big old party swinging bash where we wake up and don't know what we did, but knew it was AWESOME!... And that does not mean like it sound like it does. Just saying, you and me never really bounced around, but we totally should! You party with Celly all the time, you know how to have fun, but you never invite me? Huh? I'm Pinkie! This is what we're supposed to do!"

Forced. Honestly, the only word she could think of for it right now. This was utterly, utterly forced.

"What you and me need to do is buzz around-RUN around and have ourselves a insect-INTERESTING time to... wow, okay, I cannot stop making bug puns. You're making me hold it in, Chrysalis! I'm holding in the bug puns and if you keep makin' me do it then I'm gonna-"

An explosion of confetti exploded from who knows where, several streamed raining down upon her head and hanging there like someone had gone hunting and shot a rainbow.

"So stop skittering around the issue and let out your feelers! Turn that indo-feeling into an exofeeling! You don't need to hang around like a fly on the wall when you can be the butterfly everyone wants to see! Come ooonnnn, hang out with me, we go together like a mantis and a leaf, blending in! Let's go do something nutty, huh? You can't just hang out in that shell that you form around yourself, it's time to break loose from that thing... that thing that totally has a name but I just can't think of it! The caterpillar thing!... Don't be the caterpillar shell thing! What do you say?"

A beat.

A moment.

A look.

...And it was gone.

>I have business to attend to.

And soon, so was she, leaving behind a disappointed, but understanding, Pinkie Pie, who let her go before heading off on her own way.

Irritation.

Annoyance.

Worry.

She knew these things all too well at this point.

... She just wasn't feeling the first two right now.

...Maybe Celestia had another parachute stuffed away for the next time...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chitania
''Prostitute pone''
'Sales pone'
---

It was a nice day, at least for the airheaded pony following the titan around. For the titan, it was an annoying day, filled with ponies she wasn't allowed to hit.

>Why are you still following me about?

"Just am!"

>...Right. I'm hungry, and there's a shop over there...

She walks on over to what appears to be a confections shack, inside, a pony is sorting through his wares.

>HEY! YOU! Yes, you, don't look so scared. Are you selling popcorn here?

'W-woah, it's... y-ou, oh d-dear... Y-yes, b-but you'll need to pa--'

>I know I need to pay for it, you simpleton!

'Y-yes, well, w-we do sell popcorn, and erm, many d-different flavours.'

>Give me the buttered and salted ones. One each.

'T-that'll be t-ten bits.'

>...5 bits for a bag each?

'Y-you wrecked my street, a-and you nearly stood on me.'

>So you're overcharging me? Big deal, I almost squashed you, I'm a customer to your store, and I require something to eat.

'Y-you're also a menace, a-and you s-scare ponies...'

>Must... not... kill...

"Relax, honey, I got it for ya!"

With a smile the friendly follower hands over 10 bits to the frightened stallion, who nods, partly confused, partly disapproving, and goes off to fetch the requested items.

>I wish you would stop buying overpriced things.

"Well I think you're worth the effort, sug."

>...~Grumble~

"Thankyou kindly, sir! Have a nice day! Here, Chitty!"

>...

"..."

>...thankyouverymuch...

"Eeeeee!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

~~~

She could still hear it. Those words. The words than rang in her head and sang in her deepest pits, those words that reverberated through her even now. The words that she couldn't escape.

She needed to clear her head, calm down and just re-assess the situation. She needed to get back into the groove of her majestic state and simply find a new venue. So the guard thing hadn't panned out, so it had been inadvertently revealed that all of her work thus far was nothing compared to Applejack's word, so it had been proven they would not trust her and still feared her enough making progress was more difficult, so what.

She had been in tougher situations than this. She had been worse off than this. So her people were still jobless, unloved and dependent on her for basic necessities, and it remained that way after almost a year. So what.

So time was running out, and all it would take is one bad event to spark a true turning point against her, so what if Shining hadn't been there back when Chitania stuck there likely would have already been another war, so what.

So what. So what.

She could beat this. She could change this. She could turn this all around and win once more, she knew it. She just needed to clear her frazzled head, calm herself down, and go asses her followers and begin from there. She had been neglecting using their impressive skillset in order to ensure all went according to plan, perhaps it was time to reevaluate that. She just needed to go, and clear her head...

"Majesty? Is... is everything alright?"

Perhaps she had been a little hasty opening up the door as quickly as she did. No matter, really, she was one to slam a door more often than not anyway, they'll brush past it soon enough. She just needed to count them real quick.

There's the one who writes dumb stories, the three always getting into some sort of scuffle, that pair that keep punching each other in the face, the gambler, the one who likes to stack cards, the one who likes to chew on wood and make them into funny shapes, the one who is obsessed with shiny reflections, the ones who like to try to act out plays...

She counted and recounted, over and over again. Not with numbers, she could never keep track of the numbers, just who they were. What they liked to do and who they liked to be. Every one of them had a distinction to them.

Which is why it chilled her when she realized... not everyone was there.

Forty Two, Eighteen and Two were easily accounted for, obviously. The potato eating one liked to hang around in the halls and vanished on trips, so that was of no concern, Seventy Seven was no doubt still clinging to Thirty Two and Eighty Eight, that long named fool was still with his baby's mother and obviously said child as well, Ten rarely was in one place for very long anymore and Forty One... still needed to be dealt with.

But there were others missing...

Where was Twelve?

"You!"

She doesn't know why she pointed at that one, specifically, his thing was that he liked to sing in a variety of voices. There was no reason he would know, but she just needed someone right now.

"When was Applejack Twelve's last report from Ponyville? He should be home by now."

He nervously looked around, obviously clueless. Thankfully, a voice in the back chimed in for him.

"Three days ago! His letter said he was 'bringing a friend'!"

...Why the hell that fucking stallion that hangs out with Jugglejack knows this, she decided not question. She just assumed they made him the one in charge of the letters because he was one of the few who could read.

"...He was also supposed to come back yesterday..."

She was calm, cool and collected as she regarded the white stallion, the absolute embodiment of serenity itself.

"...I see..."

"Uh... a-apparently he was still pending a residence approval from Applejack, though? She might know where he is."

"...I see. Thank you..."

"Uh, Actarius, ma'am."

"Thank you, Actarius."

She looked to them, every single one of them, and spoke with a quiet, yet somehow still powerful voice.

"Every one of you is to remain in this ballroom until I return, none of you may leave for any reason. If someone, like, say, Applejack, attempts to move you... feel free to make my word very clear on the matter."

A multitude of hooves shot to their heads, her soldier class still remained as stern they always had, even after months of inactivity. Good. It is good that all of their petty fighting kept them in such prime shape...

"Good. Remain here while I go investigate the matter, for when I return, there will be an announcement, are we clear?"

She, of course, did not actually have any planned announcement to bring. It was merely a way for her to keep them all with the knowledge they would miss something vital if they left, that's all.

"YES MY QUEEN!"

That chant, that glorious, synchronized chant that was oh so familiar but strangely forgotten in recent times filled her with pride, and power.

So what if the ponies did not wish this power on their side... so what.

She was the QUEEN, and she was nothing like that fool Chitania. She was nothing like her...

She just needed them all here, all in one place, so she could think. Her head was muddied because she didn't have them all here, and she needed to fix that. After all, she didn't get the record for longest stint without a death by having them all scattered about.

They were all fine, none of them had died, she just needed them all here. Just to count them and then she would have her plan again and this would all be fine.

It would be fine.

"Remain, I command it."

She was gone after that, leaving in a wash of fire off to speak with dear sweet Applejack, off to have a little... discussion about her allowing others to bring outsiders into her hive without her permission.

But it would be fine. She would find Twelve, bring him home, and then it would be fine.

It would be fine...

With one last lick of fire, she was gone.

"...So did anyone else feel like shitting themselves right there?"

"Holy FUCK she is pissed!"

"Did someone set something on fire!? WAS IT YOU!?"

"I'M INNOCENT I SWEAR!"

"DAMN IT FOURTEEN!"

"I'M INNOCENT!"

"I don't want to be around, but I don't want to leave."

"Think she's gonna finally behead someone?"

"...Kind of hope so."

"DUDE!"

"Oh come on, it's nobody in here, she looked at all of us the same! What are they odds she's mad at all of us at the same time, and just decided to kill us and have her own brood?"

"..........."

"Shit."

"...We're all gonna die..."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Twilight
"Sunset"
'Daw'

>-so long story short, everyone deserves a second chance, up to and including invading changelings, specters of dead evil kings-

"And me."

>Aaaand you.

"...y'know, I sympathize with this idea, but...King Fucking Sombra?"

>Turns out he has a soft spot for Shiny's adopted changeling daughter.

"..."

>Don't question it.

"Wh-"

'Hello? Science lady? You in here?'

The two unicorns turn to the bandanna clad pegasus mare that traipses cautiously into the laboratory, glancing about at the various things that her brain simply labeled under 'Science Stuff'.

'...still say there's one tube too many in here.'

>Oh, Ms. Daw, you're early!

Twilight, Sunset in tow, walks towards the pirate.

'Evenin' to ya, and...uhhh...'

Daw tilts her head at Sunset.

'Anyone ever tell ya yer mane looks like-'

"All the time."

'Just checkin'. Anyway, Princess, I came down here since Pom's busy gettin' the guards collective arses in gear. What's it ya wanted to see me about?'

>Well I was wondering if you help me with a little personal project of mine regarding the Simulator-

'Th' Danger Room?'

>Rrrrgh...

'What's it some kinna training thing? Gearing up for another big deathmatch tourney?'

"WHAT!?"

'Gonna have ta skip entry on th' last one, I'm only dancin' with th' reaper once in my lifetime.'

>No it not a-...ugh...it's a game, okay? A roleplaying game.

'...kinky.'

>Not that-ugh, basically I think we all need a little chance to unwind and figured a little sword and sorcery silliness in the simulator would smooth some things over.

'And this has to do with me...how?'

>Well you're a pirate, right?

"She's a pirate?"

'Aye, that a problem?'

"Oh no, yo ho all you please."

>But you're bound to have seen your share of monsters, villains, and what have you, right?

'Ohhhh yeah, but what's that got to do with getting slashy slashy in the murderbox?'

>Oh you'll see...follow me.

Twilight and the two other mares walk deeper into the lab, coming to the simulator. Daw whistles lowly at the sight of it.

>Impressive isn't it?

'This thing can really do all th' shite Pom said it can?'

>If by that you mean it can simulate any scenario from a cotillion to an intergalactic conflict between galaxy-spanning empires, then yes.

"...again, THIS but no TV?"

'So what exactly am I supposed to do?'

>Simple!

In a flash Twilight is at the console attached to the machine, tapping away, causing the doors to open.

>Just enter, the rest will follow.

"Ominous."

>Shush.

'...and I'm not gonna fake-die in there?'

>Of course not.

'Eh, how bad can it be?'

Daw shrugs and enters...the doors slamming closed behind her.

'WHAT TH' FUCK!?'

>Sorry! Slight malfunction with the door pneumatics, I really need to fix that...now!

Suddenly the darkness inside the simulator is wiped away in a flash of light and Daw stands before the grounds of a massive...

'...zoo?'

>I call it the Bestiary, all you have to do is walk the grounds, the simulator will scan your brain and fill the exhibits with creatures you've encountered.

"Isn't that a tad silly?"

>Hey, it's better than me putting a helmet on her head and just downloading the memories. Have a little whimsy?

'...any memory could end up here?'

>Well I mean I'm not going to just spawn your first date in here. I'm after adventure fodder, not your baby pictures.

'What if it's a memory what ought not be remembered?'

>Just shout 'delete' and that'll be that.

Daw adjusts her bandanna and shrugs.

'Great, probably going to lose my voice by the end of this.'

Daw begins to walk into the Bestiary.

"Should we stick around or..."

>If something requires our attention I'm sure she'll be fine.

'AW FOR FUCK'S SAKE, NOT THE TENGU AGAIN! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!'

"..."

>...just fine.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC

"YOU, have FAILED this Hive Applejack 69! Your transgressions are the most despicable yet"

>Oh geeze uh,I'm...sorry?

"Such pitiful behaviour only deserves...abject punishment"

>...y-you don't mean

"Yes, the final call"

>....Really? Are you really gonna kill me?

"...Well....you should think I migh-"

>Yeah riiiight, man, you haven't shown the cajones to actually kill a nigga, so why should I give a damn?

"DO NOT MOCK ME"

>Pfffft, whatever, you're too damn weak in all that mumbo jumbo political sense to actually cap this big beautiful chitin adonis, aren't ya?

"....Nnnnnnnnghyes"

>HA HA! I WIN!

*pop!*

>Heheheh, your eye looks funny

"Grhshsgmmnfuckinghrkillyouonedaygrflburgle"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"??"
~~

>Now this here's just confusin'.

She was the first one into the room of the... I suppose she would just have to call it the 'circle of friendship'. And as such, she was the first one to notice it was not empty.

"BEGONE! BEGONE THOU FOUL BEAST OF FANG AND FUR! BEGONE I SAY BACK TO THE FIERY DEPTHS THAT OBVIOUSLY THOU WAST CAST FROM WHEN THEY REALIZED WHAT A LITTLE BITCH YOU-OW!"

She very, very rarely used her telekinesis, but even she had to marvel how easy it made chucking stuff sometimes.

But that marveling was nothing to the satisfaction she felt as the prissy, pompous changeling fell to the ground and was immediately bitten by the dog lying in wait.

>Don't care iffin' yer' usin' that term correctly, ain't happenin' in mah house.

"FOR THE LOVE OF LOVE! GET HER OFF!"

Two quick whistles is all it took to get her off, and to have Winona return to her place in the corner of the room, ready and waiting to chew on limbs should they be presented to her.

"I should have you sued for that!"

>Seein' as ya' broke inta' the office of the princess, Ah'm jus' gonna tell ya' right now that it ain't a good idea.

"...Touché, princess. Touché."

>What, not 'princess styrofoam' again?

"Ah hah! Thou art so silly! I would never cat such shade upon a royal of Canterlot!"

>Ah' ain't gonna sleep with ya' and ya' ain't gettin' none o' mah friends, so ya' can just stop that right there.

"P-pshaw! As if I would presume such from you!"

>...Okay, now Ah'm worried.

"O-oh? Whatever for? I merely came to... to uh... check in on the guard situation, yes! Dear Marey has been so worried about their lack of arrival."

>We ain't got none ta' spare, but that'll change at the end o' the month. Either yer' gettin' you some flesh and blood guards, or get ready ta' see a lotta robots.

"...G-good! All good! Good good good. Thank you so much for your continued effort to EVENTUALLY provide basic protection for Ponyville and all the countries like it, good good good."

>...

"... Well! Thank thee for you and all you do for us, princess Applejack! Your efforts bring hope to the hearts of-

>What did ya' do."

"Why, whatever doth thou mean? Do? Why would I 'do' anything? Save that anything be the royalty for which I hunger so, but we know I haven't yet-"

>What. Did. Ya. Do.

He began to shuffle, idly flipping from one hoof to the next.

"I... I do not know what thou means?"

>Stop it with the funny talk fer' two seconds already.

Indeed he did. Looking away with an almost sad glance.

>What. Did. Ya'. Do.

"...Oh... nothing... nothing of any means to you, or that will haunt you later. It's... personal, I'm afraid."

>Can't help ya' if ya' don't start talkin'.

"I'm afraid.... you can't help me even if you did. I merely ducked in here because it was convenient."

She did not really like this changeling, she wasn't afraid to admit that. He was annoying, prissy, lazy, and probably a whole host of other derision she could call him.

But something was off the way he simply flicked his ears back, and looked sad.

"...Applebloom is still in the same class as Fifty Six, isn't she?"

>Hm? Oh... yeah, guess she is, why?

"Would you mind asking her to... make sure he keeps going to class? He skips sometimes and I have to drag him back, it's a real problem. It bores him, I'm afraid."

>Bores every kid, he ain't exactly special.

"Oh, I know, I know... but sometimes it can be hard for me to keep a watch on him. I might not always be around... when he needs me to be. If I get caught up in something, can she be sure to make sure he goes to class? It... it's important he does it, even if he thinks it silly."

What was she going to say right there? No?

Sure, he was annoying but... that just wasn't how she was.

>Ah' guess Ah' can ask her ta' make sure he ain't skippin'. Was mah' idea ta' send him down there in the first place.

"Good... thank you for doing that.... Well! With that, I do believe I have everything. Thank you for seeing me, Princess Applejack! I can't wait see you again..."

The odd way he trailed off at the end left her feeling oddly cold. The slow way he daintily walked to the door likewise gave her a sense of unease, and when he paused with his hoof on the knob, she felt unsteady.

"...Princess?"

>Hm?

"...Thank you... for tossing me to Ponyville. Working with Marey and Zecora and Trixie... was the best time of my life. I wouldn't have gone there if you hadn't made me."

>...Yeah. Sure. Obviously wasn't gonna just leave ya' alone. Yer' annoyin' but ya' ain't that bad.

"...Thank you."

He smiled to her. The first time since she had met him she saw him actually smile. Not a cocky smirk, or a snobbish grin, just a regular smile.

And like that, he was gone.

>....Ahhh... ah, dang it.

But not forgotten.

>...How'm Ah' supposed ta' do this...

Her eyes went cross, and her tongue poked out ever so slightly from her mouth as she looked to her horn, focusing on concentrating enough to make a tiny, tiny light.

>...Come on... work ya' friggen little... answer, ya' gaddang-

'You called?'

>GAH!"

She really should not have been surprised when Jetset appeared behind her... really really, since she was calling him, but she still had to jump.

>...Dang, yer' quick.

'That I am. Was this a performance test? I understand the need for them, but try to-'

>No no! No, gotta... shoot, am Ah' allowed ta' give you missions? Is that... Ah' never looked inta' that.

'You can if you feel they are important enough.'

>Might be nothin' but some weird dramatics, might be life or death. Hard ta' tell with folks like him, iffin' Rarity's any indication.

'...Proceed.'

>Jus' need ya' ta' tail Twenty Nine and see what's buggin' him, or iffin' someone's after him and... ya' know, stop it if they are.

He gave her a look. How she knew that since he had no expression and sunglasses, do not ask.

'Changelings are out of our normal jurisdiction. You should relegate all problems with them to their Queen, we do not benefit if he lives.'

>He works fer' mah' city official. She's the mayor of a town.

'...then an exception can be made so long as he is currently serving Equestria. Is she performing at this time?'

>She is NOW, wasn't afore he started workin' there.

'And are her levels now satisfactory?'

>Better, even.

'...Then I shall ensure Equestria remains running smoothly, and that none plan to disrupt it.'

>Oh... good.

'...'

>...

'...'

>...Oh! Dismissed!

With a flash, he was gone.

...She swore she heard him mumbling something about 'newbies' under his breath.

>...Did Ah' jus' order secret agent stuff? Huh. This is new... Ah' don't like this, all sneaky and underhanded. Oof, make me feel like...And what're you lookin' at?

Winona just continued to give her a look. A look only a dog could give.

>...oh! Yer' hungry.

A look that said, ~you're an idiot.~

>Sorry gal.

....~but you're my idiot.~

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Dash
"Fleetfoot"
'Soarin'
~~~

"...We're doing airshows again?"

>We, unfortunately, are low on funds.

"...HOW."

'No, seriously, how? How are we low on money? What could we POSSIBLY be spending it on?'

>...U-uh... uhhh...

"...WOO! Been spending it on the good stuff, eehhh? This is awesome! WE'RE GOIN' TO LAS PEGASUS!"

>Er, no. Not that.

'Oh... paying off welfare for any disbarred Wonderbolts?'

>Nope. Dishonorable discharges are funny like that.

"Covering up a murder?"

>You are still alive, so I'm going to go with no.

'Fixing damages to the room?'

>Haven't even got a scuff since we made Bulk start wearing a helmet and Gilda wear mittens on the good floor.

"Hitman for enemies?"

>Again, you are still alive.

'Medical care?'

>None of you even have gotten a cold in months.

"Paying off tabloids who caught you eating out Princess Applejack?"

>This is why those "i'm going to murder you" quips are only mostly jokes.

'Well, what is it then?'

>Recruitment drives.

"...But there's nobody new here!"

>...

'....ohhhhhh....'

>...

"...Ouch."

>Now, if you all will excuse me, I need to go into the corner for a bit.

"Crying corner?"

>I like to think of it as my meditation corner.

'...'

>...The fact I will be crying there is unrelated.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________