Koujaku DMMd re:connect Good Ends Translation

Koujaku Dramatical Murder Re:connect Good End(s):

K: Then, here I go.
A: Mhm
Koujaku carefully takes my hair in his hands.
I nod, and as Koujaku takes a deep breath, the blades of the scissors meet my hair.
…Snip.
With a satisfying sound the first clump of hair is cut off.

That day, I finished work at Heibon early and came to Koujaku’s house.
Koujaku will probably be coming home in a little while.
I entered with the spare key, but I don’t really have anything to do while he isn’t in the room.
Bored, I sit on the edge of the bed and do nothing but wait for Koujaku’s return.
Ren slips out from the bag, and heads toward the brilliant ray of light shining in on the window.
A: Basking in the sun, Ren?
R: Yes, today’s weather is good.
A: It is.
As Ren curls himself into a ball on the window I gaze around the empty room.
Already it’s a room I’ve become completely familiar with, but for some reason I’m a little nervous today.
That’s because today is…
A: …Hm?
As I restlessly look around the room I notice something.
Before it was a little more like… the smell of a woman’s perfume or hair things were left behind, but I can’t sense any of those things now.
If I were to say it in a strange way, it’s as if a woman’s shadow disappeared…
Which reminds me, he’s said that he doesn’t play with girls at all anymore, huh.
It really seems like he’s done exactly as he said.
Surprisingly, it seems as if Koujaku completely detached himself from that distinction (of being a player).
Well, rather than consideration for me, it’s probably just something that he actually wanted to do himself.
Up until now, Koujaku always played with girls. But he suddenly stopped so I bet his fans are pretty confused.
If they knew that I was the cause… they would probably cry in despair, huh.
Why did Koujaku do something like that! And with a guy! …They would definitely make a scene.
As I dejectedly think things over on my own, a sound comes from the entrance.
There’s a sound of a door opening and the feeling of slightly flustered footsteps.
K: Sorry I’m late, did you wait?
Same as the footsteps, a flustered looking Koujaku enters the room.
A: Good work today. I didn’t wait that long.
K: I see, thank goodness.
Koujaku breathes a relieved sigh and gently holds up a parcel wrapped in cloth.
K: I bought this so let’s eat it later. Or if you’re hungry, do you want to eat it now?
A: Nah, later is okay.
K: I see. Then… I’m going to go prepare things.
Koujaku puts the wrapped parcel on the table for later and averts his gaze from mine.
…It’s like that after all, huh.
He came in acting like he usually does, but he’s nervous after all.
As the atmosphere reaches me, I, too, become a little nervous and drop my gaze towards my feet.
Today is the day we promised on a while ago.
It’s the day we promised to cut my hair.
Since I was born, I had feeling in my hair and if I were to try to cut it, it would bring out so much pain that I would end up crying.
So cutting my hair always hurt but after Platinum Jail’s Oval Tower collapsed, for some reason that feeling gradually disappeared.
A lot happened at Platinum Jail…  Koujaku and I both openly spoke our minds and our relationship became something other than “childhood friends”.
At that time, Koujaku said it with a horribly serious face.
That he wants to cut my hair.
When I heard that I wondered if cutting my hair was really such a big deal.
But, since Koujaku was incredibly serious, I answered “okay”.
Then Koujaku’s face became extremely happy… I can’t forget that even now.
B: Hey, Aoba. You doing well?
I hear the sound of flapping wings and raise my head to find that Beni has flown into the room towards me.
A: Hey, Beni. Pardon my intrusion.
B: Where is that little dog?
A: He’s over there basking in the sun.
B: Ooh!
Beni flies over to the curled up Ren and lands on the top of his head.
As I look at that scene, a warm feeling wells up in my chest and I can’t help but smile as Koujaku returns from making preparations.
K: Sorry to keep you waiting.
Koujaku lays out a clear vinyl sheet on the floor and sets a chair in front of the big mirror on the wall.
K: So, please sit here.
At his beckoning, I rise from the bed and sit composedly in the chair.
A: …!
Suddenly, two hands come from behind on both sides of my face, making my heart skip a beat.
Just as I was wondering what was going on, a large mantle-like vinyl sheet comes to wrap itself around my neck from above.
It’s a cloth to make sure that my hair doesn’t get in my clothes.
It’s not really anything weird, but because I’m nervous I can’t help but be aware of every little thing…
K: …I’m going to touch your hair.
A: Mhm
As Koujaku says that in a slightly wavering voice, he takes my hair in his hands and starts to gently brush a comb through it.
K: Are you okay? It doesn’t hurt or anything?
A: I’m okay.
Because Koujaku knows all too well about the feeling my hair had, he’s worried.
Even now I can still feel a little bit of throbbing in my hair, but not to the extent that it’s painful, so I’m alright.
After Koujaku finishes brushing my hair, he briskly clips a handful of it with a pin like item.
A: You’re quite skilled.
Without thinking I mutter those words as I look into the mirror across from me.
Up until now I’d only seen Koujaku like this at work, but because he was always surrounded by woman I was never really able to get close enough to see him well.
To be able to watch him at work like this is actually a first for me.
K: I’m honored to accept your praise. Well, this is how I make a living.
Koujaku flashes a proud smile but quickly becomes serious again.
As he touches my hair, he’s most likely concentrating all his skill into his hands.
Koujaku works silently and picks up a pair of scissors from a large tray beside him.
When he does work outside of the house he keeps his tools inside a pack around his waist, but it seems that at home he has a lot more tools assembled.
Meaning that it’s possible that he also calls guests to cut their hair in his house….
….Well it’s better if I don’t think about it anymore. It’s a thing of the past anyway.
K: Aoba.
A: Hm?
As I look at Koujaku in the mirror’s reflection, I’m surprised to see him gazing at me with unexpected sincerity.
K: This, is really okay, right?
K: If I make even one cut, I can’t change it.
… Just as I hear those words I remember a certain instance.
A: …Fu, hehe
Koujaku looks at me with knitted brows as I laugh suddenly.
K: …What’s wrong?
A: No, it’s just that you said something like that before.
K: When?
A: Hm, well… I wonder when…
Because I’m being evasive with my words, Koujaku looks a little sullen.
K: What is it? Tell me.
A: ….
I’m laughing but I wonder if it’s okay to tell him…
While worrying about how Koujaku will react, I reluctantly begin to tell him.
A: …It’s from… the time when you had a nosebleed.
K: …..
Just as I thought, Koujaku becomes quiet showing both an angry and embarrassed face.
Isn’t he blushing a little? Well, that’s to be expected.
A: You don’t… remember?
K: No, I just remembered. But you know? You don’t have to continually talk about me getting a nosebleed.
A: Sorry, it just wasn’t really that big of a deal to me…
K: ….
As Koujaku becomes more and more sullen, in order not to laugh I quickly let out a breath to change the mood.
A: Anyway. It’s okay, so just cut it.
A: Since the time that you said you wanted to cut my hair, I decided that I would have you cut it for me.
K: Aoba…
Koujaku slowly becomes more serious and grips my hair in his hands once again.
As the scissors start to close around my hair, I end up closing my eyes.
For some reason I feel like I shouldn’t look into the mirror until he’s done cutting my hair.
K: Then, here I go.
A: Mhm.
…Snip
With a satisfying sound the first clump of hair is cut off.

When he began cutting, it seemed as if Koujaku’s hesitation and wavering disappeared.
On the contrary, he doesn’t say anything. It seems like he’s focusing pretty hard.
With careful and skillful hands, he holds the scissors.
Snip, snip.
Every time I hear the sound it tickles my ears, but I have a feeling that I shouldn’t move so I hold myself back.
Due to Koujaku’s hands, my hair that has always been long is becoming shorter and shorter.
Even though that’s happening… I have a weird sense of being comfortable.
It’s like, the fast rhythm of skilled, careful hands cutting my hair is calming…
What is this, this feeling.
Rather than being calculating, Koujaku is probably just doing this on his own terms, at his own tempo.
…It’s kind of like that time.
Like when I want to calm down, the method in which I close my eyes and relax while listening to music.
I guess what those girl fans of his said wasn’t a lie.
That when Koujaku touches your hair, it feels like you’re going to heaven.
I thought that that was an incredible exaggeration but experiencing that feeling for once myself makes me kind of irritated.
But… it does feel nice.
Leaving my hair to Koujaku, I completely relax.
K: …Ok
Koujaku finally speaks as he puts the small end of the scissors down.
Somehow, it’s over already.
When I open my eyes to look at the clock I realize that 2 hours have passed.
Koujaku breathes a long sigh as he gently wipes off the nape of my neck.
K: Ahh, my hands broke out into a cold sweat.
Saying that, Koujaku laughs. All stress has disappeared from his face.
A: ….
I stare at the me who is reflected in the mirror.
For the first time in my life my hair is shorter than my shoulders.
K: …How is it?
A: …It’s short.
K: Well, that’s to be expected. I did cut it, after all.
Upon hearing that Koujaku suddenly becomes nervous and looks at me through the mirror.
K: …is it not to your liking?
A: …No
Because I haven’t gotten used to it I feel a little weird but…
A: I guess it’s not so bad. I feel refreshed.
K: I see.
Koujaku gives a relieved smile.
K: It suits you well.
A: …Thanks.
K: I mean, it’s to be expected of me, right?
A: What? That’s self-praising.
K: It’s fine, right? Because it really does suit you.
K: Well, I did like your long hair too, so it does feel a little regrettable.
A: Which is it? The one who said he wanted to cut my hair was you!
K: Well, that is true but.
K: There is kind of a meaning to me wanting to cut your hair, I guess.
A: ? Really? I don’t really understand though.
K: It’s due to my self-satisfaction. But whether you have long or short hair, both suit you well.
K: No matter which it is, I’ve already fallen for you.
A: …. So you say, stupid.
Really this guy…  He can really say things like that so nonchalantly, huh.
After patting my head while I glare lightly at him, Koujaku undoes the cloth from around my neck.
He shakes the hair off of the cloth and onto the ground, then takes a broom that was resting against the wall to begin sweeping up the hair.
A: Shall I help too?
K: You’re a guest so be mature and sit still.
Even though it’s because of the hospitality of the type of work, I can’t help but want to move to do something to help.
While holding myself back from trying to do something to help, I end up looking at myself in the mirror again.
I try touching my head in all different places. My hair is surprisingly light compared to the time it was long.
A: It’s not something that I would usually think about but… Hair is heavy, huh. Now it’s light enough to make me a little anxious.
K: Many people who have it all cut off at once like that end up saying something similar. You’ll relax if you take a bath or something.
Koujaku finishes gathering the hair into a pile and places the broom back against the wall and takes something out from the tray which holds all of his tools.
It’s Japanese paper and a thin, paulownia wood box.
What is he going to use it for?
As I watch silently Koujaku pinches a little bit of my hair from the pile that he had gathered…
And wraps it up carefully into the box.
….eh.
…….eh??
A: You…
A: What the hell are you doing?
K: Hm? I’m cleaning up.
A: Not that, my hair! You just… in that box…
K: It’s your hair, I thought to keep it.
A: What!? What the hell! That’s creepy!
As I speak my mind without thinking it over, Koujaku knits his brows into a frown.
K: It’s creepy you say? To me it’s a precious thing.
A: But… it’s just hair! Throw it away.
K: Okay, listen, Aoba.
K: The fact that I wanted to cut your hair was my long awaited for wish. It was a kind of plea. I said that before didn’t I?
A: …Well, yeah.
K: It’s a commemoration for that wish finally coming true… though saying that way is kinda off.
K: Anyway. To me this hair has a lot of worth to it! To you it might just be hair but,
Because he’s saying this with such a forceful tone, I feel like I can’t say anything in return.
If he feels so strongly about it I won’t force him to throw it away…
But you know…
A: Because it’s hair you’ll surely end up cutting it again. It’s not like I’ll never have to get it cut again, you know?
A: Therefore you don’t have to go this far…
K: You…
Unable to fathom my works, Koujaku’s frown deepens more and more.
K: Aoba. Please finally realize it for once! How much I…
Koujaku stops talking at that, as if the words are stuck in his throat.
He looks away just as his face begins to turn a little red.
Saying that yourself is like suicide, idiot.
I end up becoming embarrassed too and we both look away from each other.
After a little while, Koujaku opens his mouth to speak again.
K …Hey, Aoba.
A: …Hm?
K: It’s become something like this with you. You know what I’m talking about, right?
A: What is it, being so serious?
K: It might be weird for me to say this now but… From a while ago I’ve pretty much liked only girls with long hair.
K: It’s been said that hair is a girl’s life, and I thought that it was pretty womanly for a girl to have long hair or something like that…
Koujaku gently plays with the hair at the nape of my neck.
K: Even if I think about it now, in the end…
A: Wait! That’s enough!
I loudly interrupt Koujaku’s talk.
A: It’s embarrassing! So it’s okay to stop there!
I already know what he wants to say. This embarrassing guy…!
K: Ah, well, please don’t misunderstand me. Let me at least say this.
To emphasize what he wants to say Koujaku firmly places his hand on my shoulders.
The distance between our faces suddenly becomes shorter and my thoughts become more and more muddled.
K: It’s not like I’ve thought of you as a woman because you’ve had long hair. It more like…
K: Because I love you, I love your hair too…
A: Like I said! It’s embarrassing, you!
If he continues talking even after I’ve interrupted him, my interruption means nothing!
As I forcefully turn my head, I accidentally meet Koujaku’s eyes.
Koujaku’s face is a lot redder than it was before, which means that my face is probably completely red too…
With neither of us being able to talk, we look like idiots standing so close to each other and looking each other in the eyes.
A: …Aa! That’s enough!
I stand up to get rid of my embarrassment.
Because of the fact that Koujaku and I were originally just friends, there are times when our impulsiveness backfires on us in an embarrassing way.
With that feeling now, we end up becoming flustered because it feels like we’re rushing to cross the line between being friends and suddenly becoming lovers.
… It might take a little while to get used to this kind of atmosphere.
A: I’m going to take a bath. I want to wash my hair so I’m going to borrow it.
K: ….Okay
I walk briskly to the door and stop when I reach it to look back at Koujaku.
With a face that looks like he doesn’t know what he should do, Kouajaku looks at me absentmindedly.
That face is kind of rare…
I suddenly realize that Koujaku and I feel the same way.
Because of the way it felt like his words were forced through his teeth, everything has felt kind of rushed but.
Koujaku, like me, is having a hard, clumsy time getting away from the fact that we started as being friends.
Even know Koujaku and I are childhood friends.
…But, it’s not just that anymore, is it.
A: Koujaku.
K: Hm?
A: Don’t peek into the bath.
K: I won’t peek, stupid.
A: …But, if for some reason you wanted to come in too, I wouldn’t really mind that.
K: ……Eh?
… Aaa my face it hot.
It’s like my face is boiling in water.
I leave Koujaku with his mouth hanging open and head full speed towards the bath.

A: …..Haa…
I speed through the not very long hall to the changing room before the bathroom and shut the door hard behind me.
I lean with my back against the door and close my eyes.
… Aaa. My heart is pounding.
My face is really hot.
And it’s not just my face, my whole body is hot. So hot it seems like I’m sweating.
I’m probably bright red right now, huh…
I break away from the door and stand in front of the wash bin to look at myself in the mirror.
A: …Uwaa
My ears are so red I look drunk, and I still can’t get used to seeing myself with short hair.
I don’t dislike it, but I don’t know whether it suits me or not which feels a little strange.
I ruffle my hair and drop to my feet while letting out a deep sigh.
Just now….
“…But, if for some reason you wanted to come in too, I wouldn’t really mind that.”
I said something like that but…
What will happen? I wonder if he’ll really come?
Koujaku was looking as if he ate something really sour just now…
There’s a probability that he won’t come.
I was quite embarrassed while saying that but, it’s surely better that I said it instead of wondering what to do.
Even I don’t know what I should do, and I’m flustered.
But, still, it’s about him after all. I wonder if he’s used to this kind of situation already.
Like going into the bath together?
With who?
…..
I don’t know whether that’s something that happened often or not.
But if he comes along as if it was nothing what should I do
…Maybe it’s better to not to anything.
Rather, aren’t I sweating too much?
A: …For now, I’m gonna get in the bath.
I can’t help but worry about this.
I slap my cheeks with both hands to regain my senses and after taking a deep breath start taking off my clothes.
Although I’ve become used to Koujaku’s room, I can’t seem to calm down in the bathroom.
Speaking of which, more than usual I can’t calm down.
With my temperature rising, I become more and more flustered and it gets hard for me to take off my clothes with my arms and feet getting stuck in the cloth.
But for the first time my hair doesn’t get caught in my clothes as I take them off and it’s kind of a fresh feeling…
Because I’m so flustered that it’s hard to take off my clothes, habit kind of disappears. You don’t really think about taking off your clothes anyway, huh.
Furthermore, for some reason I keep getting more and more flustered.
Why is that? Because Koujaku might come?
But…
If you think about it carefully we’re both men and it shouldn’t be strange for us to see each other’s naked bodies.
So then why do I have this kind of feeling?
Probably…. Because the fact that we’re not exactly just friends any more is exaggerated.
Even so, do feelings change this fast?
I’m already basically at my limit, but I wonder if Koujaku is the same?
I know that Koujaku is already doing “lover” like things but like I expected our habits are still that of just being friends, so when time like this comes I still feel quite nervous.
Things like… entering a bath together, too.
… Agh, my head is all muddled inside.
A: Haa….
As I finish taking off my clothes I let out a deep sigh.
I’m still uncomfortable with how short my hair is, and without realizing it I play with the hair at the nape of my neck as I open the door to the bath.
The bath in Koujaku’s house is made out of Japanese cypress so it emits a wonderful smell.
When I enter the bathroom, I first start by filling the empty tub with hot water.
I check it with my hands to make sure that it comes out the perfect temperature.
While the tub fills I figure that I’ll wash my hair and body first.
I turn the knob and kind of cold water falls onto my head.
A: Fuuu…
For the time being I can’t help how hot my face is and the water temperature feels good.
I hang my head and scrub my hair with my hands under the rain of the shower.
My nervousness still hasn’t disappeared.
My pulse has sped up so fast that my chest hurts… and I can’t get lost in the pounding of the water falling around me.
I thought that I would calm down a little from standing under the hot water, but that isn’t the case.
I guess the meaning of one’s heart getting stuck on ones throat is this kind of feeling.
A: …..tch
While letting out a profound sigh I turn around and press my hands against the wall.
Seriously… why am I this nervous?
Koujaku might not come, anyway.
But if he doesn’t come, that’s good in its own way. And if he does come, there’s a chance that nothing will happen.
Two guys taking a bath together normally shouldn’t be something far from normal.
Even so the fact that when I spoke about the bath we both had a strange reaction means…
In short, both he and I ended up thinking the same way.
But in reality I didn’t hear that from Koujaku himself, so I don’t know if I’m right or not.
I ended up thinking of something weird, but it also could just be that we’d be entering the bath normally.
So if nothing happens the need for this nervousness is…
A: !
The noise just now…
As I turn my head I suddenly become still.
…It’s probably Koujaku, right?
Other than Koujaku who would be coming?
Did he enter the changing room to get a towel? But, for what reason?
Ummm. What should I do?
I’m getting more nervous than I was before and I’m frozen with my hands against the wall under the shower.
My heart…
Feels like it’s going to jump out of my mouth…
A: ……
…..The door.
Opened.
A: …..
I can’t look over my shoulder.
Instead of feeling the hot water from the shower it’s more like I can’t feel anything at all…. It feels like my body is about to evaporate.
K: …..
K: …..Well…uhm.
K: ….I’m coming in.
A: ….ah, yeah
Thisisbadthisisterrible. What should I do?
Why did he come? No, I told him he could come if he wanted.
Rather, what should I do?
The bath hasn’t filled up yet but maybe I can disappear into it…!?
Is what I’m thinking but I’m really just reaching for the shampoo bottle with stinted movements like a robot’s.
I squeeze the shampoo into my hand mechanically and begin rubbing it in my hair.
I’m focusing on washing my hair with shampoo so I’m not thinking about you at all… is how I hope I look.
But my consciousness is not in my hands at all so I end up scrubbing my scalp with intense strength.
Rather than losing all feeling it’s more like I can only feel tickling sensations.
But I’m not really worried about that.
As I try to seem like I’m seriously washing my hair with the shampoo I feel Koujaku’s presence come to stand next to me.
K: …Is it okay if I wash my hair, too? Though both of us washing might make it a little cramped.
A: Ah, sure. Go ahead.
Speaking way too formally I move a little to the side.
I hear the sound of Koujaku stepping under the shower followed by him starting to shampoo his hair.
A: ….
In the cramped bathroom with two men, we both wash our hair.
It’s kind of a surreal picture….
K: How is it? Your short hair?
A: Eh?
K: It’s your first bath since having it short right?
A: Ah, right… It still feels like I can’t get used to it.
K: I see.
This foolish conversation really has no meaning at all.
It sounds like Koujaku is speaking normally but… I wonder if that’s true?
I wonder what Koujaku’s face looks like.
Rather, standing this close to Koujaku has given me goosebumps.
How aware do I have to be…?
Ah, it hurts. Bubbles are slowly starting to seep into my eyes.
I’ve been constantly scrubbing at my scalp… it’s about time to wash it off.
I put my head under the rain of the shower and the shampoo is washed out in one go.
Because my hair is short now washing it is over in a second; it’s relaxing.
A: Fuu
As I raise my head I brush my hair backwards.
When I was a kid I thought that brushing my hair all the way back like this was cool.
As I think through this while washing my hair I glance towards Koujaku.
Then….
K: ….
What unexpectedly enters my field of vision blows my previous nervousness away.
My heart throbs in pain.
…..It’s the tattoo that takes up his whole back.
That’s right. Even though everything has ended, only that remains.
It won’t disappear.
The karma that he has to be burdened with is directly carved into Koujaku’s skin.
A: ….ngh
I don’t want to remember it.
I don’t want to remember that guy.
Koujaku’s curse has been removed.
I broke it. With these hands.
Therefore, already…
A: …You know, Koujaku.
K: Hm?
Koujaku turns his back towards me and raises his head to rinse his hair.
A: When you’re done with your hair, you’re going to wash your body right? I’ll wash your back first.
K: Back? Mine?
Koujaku’s voice hitches like the words have gotten stuck in his throat.
That voice has become excessively anxious.
A: …Yeah. Is that somehow bad?
K: …Ah, no… It’s not that. Then, thanks.
As he says that Koujaku’s body seems to become more stiff than it was before.
…I wonder if he’s nervous.
It’s a different feeling from being mixed with his previous embarrassment.
While feeling his anxiousness gradually grow, I take a thin body towel off of the hook on the wall and rub soap into it.
After I squish the cloth to make soap foam up I place it firmly against Koujaku’s right shoulder.
K: ….
When I do that, Koujaku’s body jolts and starts to shake.
Unintentionally I remove the towel from his body.
A: Koujaku?
K: Sorry, it’s nothing. You can continue.
I hear the sound of a deep, long sigh.
That’s right, huh….
Though I understand, a bitter feeling wells deep in my chest.
Here… on this back, is Koujaku’s darkest moment of his life.
While everything may be over already, surely it’s not something that can be forgotten so easily.
That’s not something to blame on anyone. It’s a sin that Koujaku imposed upon himself.
Koujaku has to forgive himself the same as he forgave Ryuuhou.
But he can’t forgive himself for hurting the people around him just as Ryuuhou wanted him to.
He doesn’t show those thoughts and feelings he has much anymore, but it’s definitely something he always holds in his heart.
…It’s imprinted on his back, after all.
A: ….
Koujaku might even hate me touching his back like this.
But…
While chewing my lips a strange strength wells up inside of me and I draw the towel slowly down Koujaku’s back from his shoulders to his hips.
The bubbles that follow the towel as I slide it down his back cover the tattoos like a thin cream.
This time I draw the towel down from his left shoulder.
Last, from his neck down.
As I repeat those movements many times I chew through the thoughts running through my head.
No matter how many times I do this…
These tattoos won’t be erased.
From underneath the thin, clear bubbles the venomous color pokes through.
It’s dyed into Koujaku’s skin and can’t be erased.
From now on, in order not to worry about his past, Koujaku has behaved normally.
And of course I have, too.
It’s not like we’ve decided to talk about only fun things, but more like it’s not part of the conversations in our everyday lives.
But, while looking at his tattoo I end up remembering it whether I want to or not.
Besides, above all…
No matter what reasons he has, I can’t forgive Ryuuhou after all.
Koujaku, too, has made his mistakes.
But…
“For the masterpiece I created to kill me is more credit than I deserve.”
Ryuuhou said this as he was dying.
He selfishly put the tattoo on Koujaku, made him hate him, and wanted him to kill him.
He branded Koujaku who regretted the death of his family and mother the title of “murderer” with the fatal tattoos.
He completed the masterpiece while feeling that he wanted to make it his best so much that he destroyed part of his soul.
He treated Koujaku with the intent to be killed by him from the beginning.
Then… Ryuuhou’s wish came true.
Koujaku certainly understands that as well. To kill Ryuuhou would mean that he was granting his wish.
But, he couldn’t stop himself.
Therefore… Koujaku surely wants to forget Ryuuhou but can’t.
For example, when he’s sleeping.
When he’s not focusing, or when he sees something that reminds him of the incident.
When those feelings are brought back, it tortures Koujaku.
That was Ryuuhou’s aim. That is Ryuuhou’s persistence in and of itself.
But… even if it isn’t something that can be erased right away, it’s something that can fade over time.
If Koujaku remembers his sins in a dream, I want to be by his side.
If Koujaku gets mad at himself or Ryuuhou and loses his senses, I’ll be there to knock the senses back into him.
Therefore, before Koujaku’s heart can be sucked into the past, I’ll be there to bring him back.
Then, like that, his torment will surely fade .
I believe that that will happen.
I… believe in Koujaku.
Therefore, I…
Won’t look away from these tattoos.
Even if Koujaku hates it, I have to touch these tattoos.
No… I want to touch them.
A: ….
My hand stops moving as I grit my teeth, suddenly feeling like I’m going to cry.
After breathing out sharply… I touch Koujaku’s tattoos softly with one hand.
K: …!
Koujaku’s shoulders are shaking.
But not as much compared to how he reacted before.
As if peeking at me, Koujaku looks back over his shoulder.
Without saying anything, I stroke my fingers along his tattoos.
Even if he brushes the matter aside, I shouldn’t meddle.
Basically, it’s because I feel like it’s a subject that I really shouldn’t tread on.
But…
Koujaku sits still.
A: …
For the first time, I touched these tattoos.
As I trace the outline my fingers meet the scar that’s close by.
Just like the tattoos, scars remain all over Koujaku’s body.
This, everything is something that Koujaku has been burdened with.
One by one Koujaku’s pain and sadness has piled up.
As I touch him lovingly, I feel like I’ve finally been able to seriously face Koujaku.
The Koujaku that I never knew is right here.
K: Aoba…?
A: …..
An unbearable feeling fills me up and without really knowing why, I embrace Koujaku’s back.
K: !
While letting out a shaky breath I drop my arms around Koujaku’s stomach.
My wet chest and Koujaku’s wet back stick together feeling cold for a moment… then suddenly becoming hot.
Koujaku seems bewildered by my actions, but he lightly pats my arms.
K: Aoba, what’s wrong?
A: …
His voice is always that of the Koujaku who cares for me deeply.
When I try to respond, my words disappear.
I don’t know what would be right to say…
And really, without thinking, I press my lips against Koujaku’s tattoo.
K: O-Oi, Aoba…
This time Koujaku’s voice actually sounds flustered.
Even I wonder what the hell I’m doing. But I won’t stop.
Just….
I want to think that by doing this I can erase these tattoos, scars, everything for Koujaku, but what a stupid thing to think.
Brushing the bubbles away with my fingers, I touch my lips lovingly to many places on Koujaku’s back.
Then, as if I was talking to myself, I mutter
A: Koujaku…. I love you.
K: …..
Within the sound of the shower I can clearly hear the sound of Koujaku’s gasp.
Koujaku takes my hands from around his stomach and brings them towards his mouth.
My fingertips meet Koujaku’s lips.
Next, he moves the back of my hand, my thumb, my palm, against his lips.
It’s only just that, but the feeling of my wet hand sliding against his lips it awfully captivating.
A: ….
When Koujaku bites the second knuckle of my index finger, I feel a tight sense of stimulus in my lower regions.
This is bad…
On impulse I pull my hips away from Koujaku, flustered.
….but.
A: !?
Koujaku gently grabs my arms, not letting me escape.
My body is flipped around and my back meets the wall.
K: ….
A: …
Under the rain of the shower, I’m finally faced directly with Koujaku.
Koujaku’s black hair is clumped up from the water and pushed backwards.
The forelocks that are always are on the right side of Koujaku’s face aren’t there right now.
Now the tattoo that surrounds Koujaku’s right eye is completely exposed.
Because of that I can feel a strength from Koujaku that is different than normal and I can’t move.
It’s not to the extent that he looks like a different person, but there’s still a Koujaku right here who I don’t know… Is what I thought.
Koujaku’s straight forward, serious gaze, as if he’s trying to confirm something pierces through me.
While the beating of my heart reverberates through me, I look away from Koujaku’s eyes and reach my hand towards his right cheek.
A: …Here, too
Is the Koujaku that I don’t know.
I trace the tattoo etched around Koujaku’s right eye.
Before, when I saw Koujaku’s back for the first time at Glitter…
At that time when I realized that here is a Koujaku I don’t know I was really shocked.
It’s because I thought on my own that I knew everything about Koujaku.
But, it’s different now.
Right now I’m not receiving a shock.
K: …Aoba.
Koujaku catches that hand that was touching his face and pulls on it gently.
I fall towards Koujaku and the distance between our faces shortens.
In that short space, our eyes meet…
And I don’t know who starts it, but we press our lips together.
A: ….
K: …..
Somehow, after our lips meet, Koujaku gently grips my chin and splits my teeth with his tongue.
As he presses his tongue gently against my teeth, demanding entrance, I open my mouth to let him in.
A: Nn… n….
K: Fu…
As we both explore each other’s mouths with our tongues, we wrap them around each other.
With a skillfully soft feeling tongue, Koujaku licks around my teeth and under my tongue.
As he does that, it feels like my brain is going to melt.
A: Ahh…. Mm.. Ha…
Losing my breath a little, I break our lips apart and in that small space, the water falls between us.
The water and saliva fills my mouth, the part that I can’t swallow spilling out over my lips.
Once again, Koujaku presses our lips together and strokes my hair with both hands.
That movement feels like he’s stroking my hair kindly and feels pleasant.
K: ……
A: …..
After we’ve both had our fill of kissing, we slowly break our lips away.
Koujaku breathes out a light sigh and embraces me with both arms
K: You still haven’t washed your body, right?
He whispers this into my ears, making my skin prickle.
A: ….right.
K: I’ll wash it for you.
A: E….
What? What did he say?
As I stiffen, Koujaku finishes washing his hair by thrusting it under the rain of the shower and flips me around to hug me from behind.
K: Fuuu…
Koujaku turns off the shower and combs back his hair with both hands.
A: Koujaku, just now…
K: Hm? Wait a second. We have to stop this guy…
Though it’s too late, Koujaku turns off the bath water that has spilled out over the tub, and while holding me, reaches his hand to the tray with the soap and takes it.
…Just then, my thoughts catch up to me, and I realize what Koujaku said he was going to do, what he’s going to do to me.
A: Koujaku…!
Ignoring my anxiousness, Koujaku lathers the soak in front of me like he’s showing off.
A: You, wait a second…
I can feel my temperature gradually getting hotter due to my embarrassment.
Well, I am the one who invited him to come into the bath, so it’s not like I didn’t think that this might happen but…
So suddenly…
K: N? What’s wrong, Aoba?
As Koujaku innocently asks me those words, he returns the soap to the tray and presses some of the bubbles against my chest.
A: Wa….
Koujaku’s hand gently pats my chest, spreading the bubbles of soap around.
While his hand slides over my chest, a tickling sensation that resembles a chill creeps across my muscles.
A: Koujaku…!
K: I told you, I’m just washing.
This guy…!
When I grab his arm intending to get him to stop, Koujaku’s slippery hand slides against my nipple on the other side of my chest.
A: ….!
My breath is taken away at the surprise attach, and as if to corner me, Koujaku’s fingertips lightly play with the slight bump.
A: A…
The hand that is spreading the soap bubbles pinches my hardening nipple, causing it to numb sweetly.
The other hand continues to spread the soap bubbles around my stomach and chest, grazing the slippery skin gently and causing a strange feeling to gradually take over me.
There’s still a large ticklish feeling but…
A: I said stop, Koujaku….
K: I’m just washing you.
A: Gh, are you an old man?
K: That’s mean, you know.
Koujaku’s laugh resounds deep in his throat.
While Koujaku kisses my ears and neck, both of Koujaku’s hands caress my body everywhere.
But, he doesn’t touch the important parts.
Those movements are vexing, annoying, and I get the feeling that he’s obviously playing with me…
A: You…. It… t-ickles…!
K: Is it really only that?
A: …!
Koujaku breathes out as he plants a kiss on my neck and moves both of his hands to pinch my nipples.
A: ! A…Wa….it.
My uncontrollable gasps fall from my lips, crisp and uneven.
It’s not just ticklish anymore, but I keep catching my breath.
That I’m feeling like this as much as I am makes me feel like I’m losing somehow. Rather, I’m embarrassed.
Playing with soap in the bath like it’s some kind of perverted video…!
A: U…. ku…
I bite my lips in order to try to hold back my voice, but my body ends up giving a response to Koujaku’s touches anyway.
This slippery slickness is too much…!
I feel like I’m going to burst of embarrassment due to my situation, so I’m shaking for a different reason.
A: Fu… A!....!?
As I frantically try to endure this so I don’t feel anything, Koujaku’s hands slide down my back as if they’re looking for something.
A: Wait, Kouja….!
K: …
Koujaku grips my cock with hands covered in soap.
A: Fu, a…
Due to the soap, the movements are smooth as Koujaku starts stroking me.
Just then, a thrill of pleasantness runs through my muscles.
One hand rubs the base while the other caresses the tip gently and the voice I was trying to hold back tumbles out.
A: Haa,aa… uu..
K: …You’re cute, Aoba
Koujaku kisses my neck as he speaks those slightly self-centered words with a hot breath.
A: I..diot…aa…
I’m so embarrassed I want to hit him but, but due to his loving caresses I feel like I’m slipping and losing my strength.
While Koujaku loosely strokes my cock with one hand, he reaches the other to the crevice between my assox.
A: A…
A finger covered with soap slowly kneads against the opening…
And enters me all too quickly.
But, Koujaku doesn’t try to press in that far, and at the least plays around the opening as if he’s impatient.
A: A……
Koujaku’s hand presses past the opening and moves his hand lightly as is he’s clawing at something, every time he does that I get an itchy feeling.
I don’t really know whether it feels good or not. It’s just…
At some point I’ve closed my eyes, and have started moving along with Koujaku’s movements.
Kind of like in order to feel where Koujaku is touching me more strongly…
Kind of like I’m asking him to go deeper inside of me so that I can meet his expectations.
K: …
A: Ha…
My knees start to shake the longer he spends time thoroughly feeling around inside of me.
I start to get the feeling that I’m losing my strength…
When Koujaku grips my erection and strokes it tightly my knees suddenly give in.
A: !
K: …there
A: Fu, Ahhh….
Koujaku immediately supports me but due to my weight his finger suddenly plunges deep inside of me.
A: Haaaaa…. Haa…
The feeling of me tightening around him and his finger pushing harder into me makes my breathing rough.
K: I ended up going in deep, huh. Does it hurt?
As he asks such an obvious question I let out a rattled breath and turn my head back towards him without thinking.
Hasn’t he just been doing things to me since a while ago?
He seems to be kind of rushed and caught up in the moment…
As I take a deep, painful breath and bite my lips, I scoop soap off of my body with one hand.
I turn my hand covered in soap toward my back and grab Koujaku’s cock which is close to my lower back.
K: !
Surprised, Koujaku pulls his finger out of me.
K: Hey, Aoba…
A: You playing only with me is annoying, so you should suffer some kind of embarrassment too!
It’s kind of hard to move because of our position, but while borrowing the slipperiness of the soap, I rub Koujaku’s cock.
K: …. jeeze.
Koujaku lets out a slight laugh and once again grasps my cock in his hands and start moving.
All at once a sweet feeling wells up in my lower body.
A: Uu… fu, ah…
K: N….
I also diligently move my hand, undoubtedly stimulating Koujaku.
Koujaku’s cock steadily grows harder within my hand.
But, because he did it to me first, I’m at a disadvantage.
Just from a little more touching I already feel like I might come soon.
Koujaku is getting quite hard too, but probably not to the extent that he might come yet.
A: Haa…..uu…
K: ….
A: …Ah, Koujaku… stop, I’m going to come…
Suddenly that strong feeling advances upon me and I’m about to give up, but Koujaku immediately stops moving his hand.
A: …?
I’m just one step away from coming and with a feeling of not being completely fulfilled I turn back to look at Koujaku.
K: Let’s wash it off with hot water.
Koujaku turns on the shower and says it as he washes himself and me.
K: Shall we enter the bath?

CHOICE:
1)	Enter the bath
2)	Don’t enter the bath

1) Enter the bath
A: …
I’m a little embarrassed to say that I’ll enter, so I just nod slightly.
K: Understood.
Koujaku nods while laughing and after he turns off the shower he supports my body leads me toward the Japanese cypress bath.
He enters the bath holding me and starts to sit down with me on top of him.
A: Eh, like this…
K: It’s fine, just sit.
A: No, but…
K: It’s okay.
Koujaku says that with a slightly admonishing tone and while holding me from behind, lowers us both into the bath.
I can’t go acting violently here, so I reluctantly sit between Koujaku’s legs.
With us both sitting in the bath, about half of the water falls over the edges of the bath like a waterfall.
A large plume of steam hangs over the bath, and I can smell the deep scent of the Japanese cypress as I hear occasional drops of water in the distance.
It’s a situation where I’d like to be able to say, ahh, what a nice bath, but I lost my right to move around.
Because of my rising temperature, the water only feels lukewarm.
To be so close in a bath…
I have to get past my embarrassment and the like, but it’s kinda like already….
K: …
Koujaku embraces me around the shoulders and, because there is no hair there anymore, kisses my newly naked neck.
A: …
I shake at the touch and feel Koujaku press his face against the back of my neck.
Our wet, naked bodies cling together.
The hands that are wrapped around my shoulders rub my skin as if asking for something.
K: It’s useless.
A hot, almost held back, breath enters my ears.
K: When it comes to you I just can’t hold back. I wanted to at least relax in the bath until it cooled down a little but…
K: I want to embrace you after all (“embrace” means “fuck” in Japanese. But they say embrace because it’s a lot more subtle and that’s how the language is, so I’m going to preserve that subtlety at least a little, lol)
A: !
While I feel my temperature rising even more, I unexpectedly gasp.
K: You don’t want to?
A: … It’s not like… I don’t want to but…
K: Hm?
I could barely say the end of my sentence so he probably didn’t hear me.
He gently prods me to say it again but I don’t feel like I can say the same thing twice.
Rather, I can’t. I would need some serious courage. It really depends on the situation but…
This sweet air is seriously making me shy.
As I stay quiet, Koujaku presses his face against my neck once again and reaches one hand underneath me through the water towards my lower back.
While gliding against my ass, he splits apart the cheeks that he played with just a little while ago.
A: ….
He brushes his finger against the opening and instead of voicing a sound it resounds in my throat.
K: What should I do?
Because he asks as though he’s in a rush, I bite my tongue.
Because I’m in a situation where I can’t really run away, Koujaku surely knows the answer already.
That’s why he’s asking it this way on purpose.
He seems to think it’s fun and takes pleasure in seeing my embarrassed face.
But I’m not having fun at all. Rather I’m kind of annoyed at the way he seems to be ridiculing me.
While feeling like I should sometimes do something unexpected, I move one hand through the water.
I gently take Koujaku’s cock in my hand.
K: …!
…With this even if I don’t say anything it should be enough.
I put all of those feelings into my movements, and Koujaku holds me from behind, letting out a warm gasp on my neck.
He whispers into my ears while holding my weight,
K: That’s an amazing way to answer me, Aoba.
A: !... Shut uppp!
K: I’ve been trying to hold back, but if you do something like that I might eat you in one bite.
A: … It’s fine to do what you want.
K: …
K: …. You… It’s not good to say it so casually like that.
A: I’m not saying it so easily! I really…. Um
K: I understand. You’re shy, right?
A: …! You know…!
K: I don’t want to do anything that will give you bad memories, you know.
K: I want to cherish you as much as I possibly can.
A: ….
K: If you’re the only one not feeling good, there’s no meaning if I am. So…
A: I understand. I understand so you don’t have to say things like that anymore…
K: Is that so? Then… follow me with both hands.
Koujaku kisses my ears and points to what he means, which is the edge of the bath.
This lover’s like situation is indeed making me shy, but I do as Koujaku says.
A: ….
As I place my hands on the edge of the bath, Koujaku lifts my ass up from the bottom of the bath.
A: …
The water splashes as I end up in a posture where I’m on all fours, with only my ass raised into the air.
The second I think of turning back, I feel something press against me.
A: Ah…
Koujaku presses his finger into me deeper than he had before and moves it around, stroking the inside and widening it.
A: Ha….
Once again Koujaku’s finger is moving inside of me.
I feel like water enters along with each movement he makes.
I’ve gotten used to different things being inside, but this is quite a different kind of feeling.
But, I don’t dislike it.
In reaction to Koujaku’s fingers, I get hotter and hotter.
K: Does it hurt?
A: …I’m… okay.
Koujaku presses deep inside of me once more, feeling around, and then pulls it out.
In exchange, he presses a much hotter thing against me.
A: Fu….
Koujaku fixes the position of my ass…
He presses harder into the opening and slowly his hotness enters me.
A: Uu, ahh….. ah!
At first he enters little by little, but in the middle of that, he suddenly pushes into me with a strong force.
Unable to hold it back under the unbearable pressure, my voice leaks out and echoes around the room filled with water.
K: …Aoba, are you okay?
A: Nn…
I nod in answer and he presses into me again with a little bit of strength.
A: Ha… ah…
K: ….
He stops moving all of a sudden; after a little bit of time Koujaku has entered me all the way.
As I get used to the feeling of my body being full of Koujaku, he leans over my body and presses a kiss on my back.
Just like that, he starts moving in side of me.
A: Uu, ahh…. Ha….
Koujaku pulls out slightly from inside of me which is stretched to the limit, and presses in again.
At first the feeling is so powerful that it’s hard to breathe but as he repeats thursting in and out over and over again, those feelings begin to get blurred with a sense of pleasure.
A: Ah, haaa….
I bight my lips as hard as I can in order to muffle my voice.
I don’t want to hear my loud breaths echoing around the room.
But…
A: Ah…!
Koujaku stops moving for a second and grabs my half-hard cock in his hands, it’s because of that surprise attack that my voice comes out.
A: Idio…! Haa, ahh…
K: I’ve always wondered this but… why do you always hold your voice back? Because it’s embarrassing?
A: O…f cour…se…
K: You don’t have to be embarrassed, though. I’m the only one who’s listening, after all.
A: It’s not about… who’s listening or not… I don’t… like it…! It’s a… strange voice…
K: It’s not strange. Let me hear your cute voice.
A: ! You…. U..ah…
As if he’s seeing through me, Koujaku’s slightly laughing voice bothers me but…
K: Aoba…
A: A…. fu….
While groping my cock, Koujaku leans over my back and pounds into me.
My head absentmindedly hangs over the edge of the bath as a strong feeling of pleasure numbs my lower body.
K: ….
Just as Koujaku’s voice is becoming rougher, his hotness inside of me is becoming thicker.
Koujaku’s lips press against the nape of my neck and I can feel the tip of his tongue trailing my hairline.
A: U..ahh…
That feeling makes me tremble, and my muscles tremble as if they want me to escape.
Water is dripping from both our bodies and it feels almost erotic now.
A: Haa, ha… fua…
My body is in too much of a daze, and I don’t know whether my voice is getting louder or not anymore.
After Koujaku lessens the strength he’s using to pound me with a little, he slowly begins to build his pace again.
A: A! Ah…!
He thrusts in and out of me, and I can clearly feel his tip outside every time he does, sending incredibly stimulus throughout my body.
It begins to get hard for me to cling to the bath with one shaking hand, so I end up grabbing it with both.
A: Ha, Aa… N…!
Each time he pounds into me, I can feel water enter along side him.
It might just be my imagination, but it feel is like a lot of water has accumulated inside of me…
Every time he pounds into me I feel like I can hear the sound of water.
A: Kou…jaku…
K: …. Is it painful…?
A: You’re wron….g… Inside… of me…
K: Nn…?
A: Water… is inside…. It feels… weird…
K: …
As I say that, it feels like Koujaku fills me up a little more than he had before.
He picks up the pace inside of me and I can hear the violent sound of the water more clearly.
A: Ah…!? If… you do it so strongly…
K: …It’s cause you said… something to arouse me more…
A: …!?
Koujaku presses into me a little more recklessly than he had before and while gripping my chin, turns my head so that our lips meet.
A: N…. mu….
Koujaku kisses me deeply and strokes my now severely hard cock with his hand.
A: Fuuu…. Nnmuu…
K: Ha….
Close to my limit, I feel like I’m going to come already.
Koujaku takes both hands out of the bath and places them on top of mine which still cling to the edge of the bath.
Koujaku grips the back of my hands tightly.
A: …
In my hazy consciousness I recognize it.
…It’s always like this.
When he’s about to come, Koujaku will always hold my hands.
When he does, I feel like I’m about to melt for just a second…
And feel somehow relieved.
Koujaku is conveying his serious desire for me, and it makes me feel relieved.
A: ….
Holding my hand, Koujaku stops kissing me and looks at me closely.
Koujaku’s face looks hot with pleasure and he looks at me as if lost in ecstasy.
Surely I’m wearing a similar face.
A soft smile appears on Koujaku’s lips.
K: Aoba… I love you.
A: Ah… Ha…!
As he whispers those sweet, hot words into my ear, a huge wave of pleasure overcomes me.
Koujaku’s body is hot. Of course, mine is too. … Our intertwined hands, too.
A: ……me…too….
I wonder if the small words hidden in my gasps reach Koujaku.
K: Ha….
Koujaku breathes repeated hot, short breathes and pounds into me relentlessly.
A: Fua… ah…!
Feeling overpowered, I press my legs and back hard against Koujaku.
As I do, Koujaku hotness grows inside of me again.
He’s striking against me so hard I can feel it in my bones and I’m trying hard to endure it as I reach my limit.
A: Uu… Ku… Ah, ahhhh…
My body shakes, and I come as if I’m washing away all of Koujaku advances.
My come overflows, and shoots into the water.
K: …. Ku…
In the midst of coming, I lose all feeling and Koujaku pounds into me recklessly only to suddenly stop.
K: Ha… ah….!
Holding my hands incredibly hard, Koujaku’s body shudders.
I can feel the hotness of Koujaku’s cum shooting into me.
A: Haa haa…. Ha…
K: …..
Immediately after we both finished, our echoes resound in the room.
Spacing out, I stare at my hand gripping Koujaku’s.
Changing how I hold his hand, I place a kiss on it.
K: Aoba…
Koujaku leans in on my body again and kisses my hair.
My heart clenches as I feel the importance of that action and I look away.
My semen…is floating in the water.
A: Wa… sorry…
My forgotten shyness returns and I apologize in a fluster.
K: For what?
A: No, um…. This…
Koujaku follows my line of slight, surely wondering why I would say something like that.
K: It’s okay, don’t mind it.
A: I’ll clean it up later.
K: Let’s do it together.
A: …ok
Koujaku turns around and while placing a kiss on my eyes pulls his cock out from inside of me.
After leaving me, he holds me from behind and just like that we both leave the bath.
Nevertheless… it’s hot.

2) Don’t enter the bath
I want to enter…. But.
A: If I enter now, it seems like I’ll faint right away.
K: …That’s true.
Koujaku laughs in consent.
He knows how hot both of us have gotten and…
Frankly, rather than entering the bath I want to finish these half-baked actions and desires.
Now that I think about it, my body is shaking and Koujaku seems to fully understand that.
K: Are you okay like this?
A: …Yeah
After Koujaku slowly kisses my face, he whispers in my ear.
K: Put your hands on the wall.
A: …
His voice is deeper than usual and my heart skips a beat.
Feeling faintly bewildered, I do as he said and put my hands on the wall.
The shower is left on, and the sound of water is consistently falling onto the floor.
Koujaku leans onto my back and embraces me from behind.
K: Open your legs just a little.
A: …
Somehow… this voice and the way he’s speaking is bad.
For some reason my heart has started pounding.
I move my heel a little and open my legs and Koujaku slides his knee between my thighs.
My ass is tightly glued to Koujaku’s hips and I can feel his cock get harder against me.
As he strokes my chest with one hand, he plants a kiss on my ears and shoulders.
A: Fu….
With my hands plastered to the wall I’m in a situation that renders them completely useless.
Because I’m defenseless and in a position that I can’t escape easily from, I feel strangely helpless.
But as Koujaku repeatedly touches my chest with a gentle hand and kisses me over and over, that feeling gradually disappears.
K: ….
As Koujaku touches my chest, the other hand reaches out slowly to touch my entrance.
A: Ah…
K: If we don’t get you used to it a little more…
A: ….
He whispers into my ear again and without thinking I hunch my shoulders.
For some reason it makes me shiver intensely but…
A: Don’t…. talk anymore.
K: What’s wrong?
A: Voice… ah
Koujaku’s finger enters deeper than it did before, and my voice stops in the middle of my sentence.
He twists and stretches his long finger inside of me, moving to stretch the tight area.
A: ….ha…
K: What about a voice?
A: Uwa….
Koujaku speaks as if he’s breathing out a long sigh and licks my hear as he does, causing a thrill to run through me.
He definitely understands…!
A: You…. Ku….
K: Hm?
While Koujaku strokes me inside with his finger, he moves his hand that was touching my chest down to brush my cock.
Koujaku moves his hand slowly up and down, spreading the clear precum that had accumulated at the tip.
A: Haa ah…. Fu….
He’s stirring me up from behind and stroking me in the front…
Making my head feel all hot and shaky inside, and causing a swelling, sweet sense of pleasure to rise in my body as I let out a sigh.
Koujaku moves his hand awfully gently; not like he’s teasing me, but more like he’s doing it with loving care.
I get lost in those movements and I lose focus, causing my knees to buckle.
K: Whoops.
Koujaku’s finger slips out from inside of me and I fall to the floor.
K: Are you okay?
A: ….
Looking a little flustered, Koujaku grabs hold of my arm.
I raise my head absentmindedly to be met with a very hard cock.
…
Before, Koujaku purposefully licked my ear as though to make fun of me.
… Maybe I should get some revenge.
While thinking that, I reflexively move my head closer to Koujaku’s hips.
K: ! Aoba…!?
Guessing my intentions, Koujaku briskly pulls away.
I grab his ass with both hands and pull him back towards me, and on my knees I bring my lips closer to Koujaku’s cock.
I grab the hardened cock with one hand and slowly take the tip into my mouth.
A: ….ah, mu….
K: Aoba, hey, stop it…!
I move my head back as if I’m going to stop, and stop moving my hand.
Koujaku’s previously composed voice is now clouded with the sound of confusion and with a feeling of satisfaction I commit that voice to memory.
Maybe he finally realized how I felt a little bullied.
While feeling like I’m kind of bullying him back, I take Koujaku’s cock deep into my throat and pull back slowly.
Like I’m licking something sweet, I flick my tongue on the tip.
A: Ha…. Ah… fu…
K: … Ku…
At first I was slow, but I slowly start to pick up the pace, moving my head back and forth.
It becomes difficult to hold Koujaku’s growing cock in my mouth, and while I’m not paying much attention to it it slips out of my mouth.
While it’s out of my mouth, I place kisses along the shaft and run my tongue up along the bottom.
The reason I feel this sense of accomplishment is because it’s like I stole a point from Koujaku.
Koujaku’s done me with his mouth and has said that I don’t have to do anything to him, so I haven’t before.
For me, that’s unacceptable.
It’s not like I don’t have anything against sucking a guy’s dick but… Koujaku and I are lovers now and I want to do things to him that he does to me, too.
I want to make Koujaku feel good, too, and if I’m the only one being pleasured it doesn’t make me happy.
Therefore, I feel a sense of accomplishment in that way.
A: N… uuu… Haa
K: …
A: …. Fu…
Koujaku holds his breath as I suck on the tip so determinedly that sound comes out.
A liquid that tastes a little different than water drips into my mouth, and I swallow it.
As I lick Koujaku’s still hardening cock, I can feel mine growing as well.
He was just playing with it, and my lower body keeps getting pangs of hotness, so much that it makes me want to touch it myself.
Somehow I… feel like I’m starting to become really lewd.
Because of that, my reluctance disappears, and, feeling more feverish than before, I look up at Koujaku as I suck him.
Thinking to stir Koujaku up more, I play around violently with my tongue.
A: Ah, gu…. Uu, mm…
K: …Aoba.
Koujaku curls his fingers into my hair making it seem like he wants me to stop.
A: ….
Koujaku, clearly in ecstasy, looks down at me with an expression of bewilderment.
Those eyes look intoxicated and he looks dizzy.
…Koujaku is feeling good.
I become happy thinking that, and I can feel my self-confidence growing stronger.
The downpour of the shower rains down incessantly onto Koujaku.
Koujaku stares at me in silence, and gives a slightly worried half-smile.
K: Really… I didn’t have the intention of making you do something like this…
A: …
K:  You might get mad at this but…
K: The way you do it, is like you’re eating something sweet. It’s erotic.
A: Does it feel good?
K: Stupid, don’t talk while it’s in your mouth.
K: …It feels good.
K: Also, if you do this anymore it may be bad. Soon…
A: Mmm…
I feel the same so I release Koujaku’s cock from my mouth.
Spit and precum is mixed in strands pulling across the distance, and Koujaku laughs as he breaks it with a finger.
With Koujaku’s help, I slowly stand.
K: What happened, for you to do that so suddenly…
A: It’s just… if it’s just me, I don’t like it.
K: Just you?
A: If you always do me with your mouth you’ll hate it right? That’s why I thought I should do it sometimes.
A: Also, you always tease me. So I wanted to get even with you, kind of.
K: I won’t hate it. And teasing you…
K: Because you’re cute I always end up doing those things without thinking but
A: …Anyway, I don’t like that it’s always just me.
A: ….I wouldn’t like it if I didn’t make you feel good, too.
I kind of mutter at the end because I’m embarrassed, but Koujaku hugs me happily.
K: I already feel good enough. I feel like I could come just because of your feelings.
A: …You, really already…
K: More than that… I want to enter you quickly.
A: …
Koujaku’s cock presses against my stomach like there was no way it could go soft and I look down without thinking.
Of course, mine is so hard that it looks like it could reach to touch Koujaku’s.
K: I feel good enough without just being inside of you. So I feel like I don’t want to force you to do other things but
K: But if you feel differently I think I should change my way of thinking. This time it’s my turn to feel you.
K …put your hands on the wall there.
I put my hands on the wall, obeying him, and as I do Koujaku grabs my hips.
He presses his hot cock against my ass that has been throbbing since before, and like that….
Little by little Koujaku enters me.
A: Ah …. Ku, fu….
My voice leaks out of my mouth at the feeling of something foreign entering me.
It had been stretched out a lot by his finger so there isn’t much pain but I feel choked by the slight feeling of oppression inside of me.
K: …fu…
A: Ah… Ah…ha…
While kissing my back and shoulders, Koujaku takes his time slowly entering me.
I hold onto a hook on the wall and while letting out irregular gasps of air I wait for him to enter me fully.
The strong force of the water pounds onto my back slides down my body, even making it to my ass.
K: Haa…
Koujaku lets out a stuffy breath and stops moving.
A: …Are you… in?
K: Nn…
With that answer I let out a breath that I’d been holding.
K: …I’m going to move.
He mutters in a husky voice, and Koujaku slowly starts to move.
A: …. Ha ahhh….
While feeling like my organs are being pressed against, a slight, pleasant numb feeling begins to wash over me.
Because it’s the bath, sound echoes loudly and I become embarrassed by the loud voices I’m letting out.
In order to silence my voice, I press my lips against my hands that are plastered to the wall.
A: …uu gu…. Fu…
Even so I make a sound, and I try to plug my mouth with my curled fingers.
Compared to when we first had sex, the pain is receding a lot faster.
Instead, a huge feeling of pleasure is billowing and exploding through my body and that feels good, but is painful in its own way.
And now, I can’t tell if water or precum is what’s dripping from the top of my cock.
A: N….. ku….?
While trying to silence my voice I fall into a trance of pleasure, and Koujaku reaches a hand from behind to touch my lips.
That finger softly and calmly traces my lips and presses against the divide to separate them.
A: Ha… Koujaku…. Mu…
Just when I think to turn around in confusion, Koujaku’s fingers press into my mouth without reservation.
In my bewilderment, he plays with my tongue with two fingers, and thrusts into me a little harder than before.
Because his fingers are inside my mouth, large gasps escape from my open lips.
A: ! fu haa, ah…!
K: ….. Don’t… hold your voice back.
A: ….
This guy…
Because I wasn’t letting my voice out he put his fingers in my mouth….
A: Mu… nn gu…
Careful not to bite his fingers, I force them out of my mouth and look over my shoulder at Koujaku.
A: It’s embarrassing when my voice echoes…!
K: There’s no need for you to be embarrassed! It’s the voice that means you’re feeling everything I do. It makes me happy, and I want to hear every bit of it.
A: …!
K: Besides isn’t it fine if it echoes? …It’s erotic.
A: You…. Gu….
Koujaku presses his fingers into my mouth again and picks up moving inside of me as well.
A: Ah ha…. Fu…
He gently holds my tongue with his fingers and from the mouth that I can’t close a sigh mixed with pleasure tumbles from my lips.
Koujaku’s a little overbearing but he’s being considerate of me with his gentle movements with his fingers.
Because of that it’s not really painful.
…it makes the embarrassment go away.
K: … ha….
While Koujaku changes his pace, he breathes against my newly bare nape.
A: Fuaa…. Ah….
K: ….As I thought, short hair is nice, too.
A: …?
K: When it’s short, it’s easy to kiss here.
A: ….!
K: I discovered this because I cut your hair, huh.
While saying that, I hear the sound of Koujaku kissing my nape again.
… Since before the things he’s been saying are so embarrassing I could die.
But this is a normal thing for Koujaku so there really isn’t a need to get shy over every little thing he says.
Since it’s his way of expressing his love it’s embarrassing, but there’s no way I could hate it.
But if he does it too much it will become troublesome…
K: Do you feel faint? Your skin has become a little red.
The words that are unconsciously condemning me sink in and Koujaku flicks his tongue along the back of my neck.
A: Wa…!
A: You go from one thing to the next so fa…. Ah!
K: N?
I protest as soon as he takes his fingers from my mouth but as if to stop my words Koujaku grabs my hips and presses deep inside of me.
My hard cocks jolts at the impact and a wave of pleasure sweeps through my head washing away all other thoughts.
A: Uaa ahh… haaa…
K: …there
Koujaku supports my body that can’t stand it any more and feels like it’s going to crumble.
K: Are you okay?
A: Fu….
My hands are still pressed against the wall, but barely able to hold me up and now Koujaku is supporting most of my body weight in his arms.
He must have thought that that position was a little painful and pulls out of me.
A: …?
I look back, a little confused about what happening and Koujaku slowly turns my body the other way.
My back meets the wall and I’m met with Koujaku’s face.
A: …
My back was always toward him so I never saw his face but…
seeing Koujaku’s face now makes my heart skip a beat.
Koujaku’s face clearly shows how hot he is and his pupils are dilated with the loss of composure.
He can’t conceal the reckless nature of himself and I feel like I can’t run away… making me a little flustered.
K: Aoba…
Koujaku slips his hands under my arms and kisses me by only touching my lips lightly.
Then he lifts me up from under my arms.
A: ! Koujaku…
The place that was just accepting Koujaku is now completely exposed and it’s making me feel a mix of shyness and nervousness.
But if I lose focus here I feel like I’ll fall down again so I can’t move.
As though to calm me Koujaku kisses me on the forehead.
K: I’m going to cling to you.
A: …
Again his whisper reverberates deep inside of me.
As he says that I wrap both arms around his neck and he presses his knee between my legs as though to hold me up more, and once again enters me.
A: U, ahh…
It’s his second time entering so he enters much easier than he did before.
But at the same time the numb feeling trills through me from my hips and I cling to Koujaku as though I want him to save me from this feeling.
Before the break Koujaku and I were both hot but it’s like we haven’t cooled down and all and as soon as he starts moving we both enter a trance.
A: Ha ahh ah… ku… fu
K: Nn….
While still holding me up with one knee, Koujaku kisses me over and over, feeling around inside as though he wants to stir me up.
Because of the low angle I can feel him thrusting into me more than ever and I get lost in the pleasure so much that I can barely feel him kissing me.
A:Pu haa ahh! Koujaku ah that’s not… good.. ahh
K: … Does it feel good?
A: Nn… ahh muu….
Koujaku whispers the words hotly and while smiling at me as I gasp shamefully he kisses me deeply again.
Out tongues meet over and over and I feel like I’m going to melt as Koujaku pounds into me over and over again.
A: Haa ahh… Koujaku… uuu
K: Haa… Aoba…
The spray of the shower that is falling down around Koujaku’s shoulders also pours over my hard cock.
A sound of water echoes from the place that we’re attacked and a hot, warm feeling spreads from my entrance.
The numbness is so strong that a choking feelng takes over my body and a feeling of pleasure balls itself up in my abdomen.
Koujaku grabs my cock in between us and loosely and lovingly starts to caress it.
A: ….! Fuu ahh… if… you touch there… ahh…
K: …
I try to escape from his kiss as the feeling that I’m going to come presses down upon me and I twust my body away.
Koujaku doesn’t lessen his force and he thrusts harder and harder into me.
A: Ah I said… I can’t…! Koujaku... already…
Saliva spills over my open mouth and convulsions spread through my lower body.
As waves of pleasure travel through me, my breaths hitch and stop over and over, tumbling out of my mouth.
I cling to Koujaku who’s in a trance still as he grabs my arm and strokes it as though asking for something.
A: …
….Ah, I see.
In this wave of heat I sympathize with Koujaku’s aim.
I take one hand from around Koujaku’s neck and place it on top of his hand.
Our fingers entangle, and we grasp each other tightly.
Every time Koujaku seems like he’s going to come he will surely grab my hand.
I haven’t asked why he does that so I don’t know the reason he does but…
When he does that I feel put at ease.
As Koujaku starts to lose his composure, I feel as though he’s conveying his feelings to me and makes me happy.
That I can feel Koujaku’s feelings makes me happy.
Therefore, I have return his grip stongly.
K: … Aoba… I love you
A: Haa….Me… too….
My words are buried in sighs and soon after both of us are buried in our deep breaths.
He penetrates me over and over, deeper and deeper, and the pleasure that’s centered in my hips grows stronger and stronger.
I feel like my head and body and everything is being swallowed up into a wave of pleasure.
I come while embracing Koujaku hard.
A: Ku ahh… haa uu… ah ahhh….!!!
At the same time my cum explodes from me and sullies Koujaku’ chest.
A: Uu nn…
While still clinging to Koujaku, I shiver as all of my lust escapes from me.
K: …
In the aftereffect of me coming, my entrance tightens around Koujaku and he pounds a little more recklessly than before while burying his face into my hair.
K: ! Ku… haa ahh….
Holding his breath and then suddenly releasing it, Koujaku releases hotly inside of me.
A: …ah…. Ha haa….
K: Ha….
While I breathe in and out deeply, I feel Koujaku throbbing inside of me.
With all my strength having left me, my legs and arms feel heavy.
If I wasn’t holding on to Koujaku I would surely fall right onto the floor.
While feeling flighty, I look to Koujaku who is still trembling inside of me.
Soft breaths escape thin, slightly open lips and his eyes are slightly moist on his red face….
While thinking that I must have the same erotic look on my face, we both lean towards each other and kiss.
A: …haa
After separating, Koujaku lowers me from his leg.
….Suddenly.
A: …Ah
I squat suddenly and cling to Koujaku in a fluster more for support.
K: …there
It’s worse than I thought huh… My knees are shaking, unable to gather strength.
K: Are you alright?
A: I’m okay… Just… I don’t have any strength…
Furthermore… it’s hot.

END:
A: …I feel dizzy.
K: Yeah, I do too…
Koujaku and I both mutter that with a sense of complete exhaustion.
It’s so hot that surely steam is coming from our touching bodies.
K: For the time being, shall we leave? If we stay in here any longer we’ll faint.
A: Yeah…. Whoops.
As I take a step to leave, I stop in my tracks. My legs feel like jello.
My body…. Especially from my hips down really has no strength in it…
K: Are you okay? You’re really exhausted, aren’t you.
A: Well that’s to be expected….
Leaning on Koujaku, I take two, three steps only to stop suddenly in my tracks.
… Something is dripping from between my legs.
Something is dripping down my thighs.
K: What’s wrong?
A: S-some… water is…?
I close my legs not wanting him to see, but instead it draws his attention.
As if realizing my state, Koujaku clears his throat with a slight cough.
K: …Listen, Aoba. I’m not saying this in a weird way, so don’t misunderstand.
A: ?
K: Turn your back this way.
I nod my head without really understanding and separate from Koujaku to turn my back to him.
Suddenly, he grabs my hips.
A: Eh!?
Unprepared, I end up staggering and catch myself by placing my hands against the wall.
A: Koujaku…!?
In order to find out what he’s thinking, I turn my head back only to see Koujaku embarrassed with either a mad or worried and strange expression.
He raises the lower half of my body…
And of all the things to do, he opens by ass and puts a finger in where he had just been.
A: !
I already left myself defenseless from not thinking, and a cold feeling runs down my spine.
A: Wait…! Wh-what the hell are you doing!
K: If we don’t get it out, it’ll feel gross, right?
A: if that’s the case I’ll do it on my own… ah, sto…!
Even though I’d already gotten completely used to having something in there, I can’t help but let out a gasp when he moves his finger inside of me.
As he starts to move his finger around, scraping against the walls, I feel more and more hot liquid begin to drip down my thighs.
This…. Is Koujaku’s, huh….
K: I said this before but… I’m not doing this in a weird way, okay?
Koujaku’s voice muffles as he tries to hide his embarrassment in reassuring me.
Because of that I become unnecessarily embarrassed.
A: Even if you’re not meaning to do it in a weird way, you’re still doing something weird… ah…!
As Koujaku moves his hand, causing a sound like water to fill the room, a sweet numbness fills me and I spontaneously move my hips.
K: Aoba… you, again?
A: …
Koujaku is referring to how I’m half hard again because of the stimulus he’s giving me.
A: Who’s fault do you think it is…!
K: But it’ll be tough unless we get all of it out now, right? I’m almost done, so bear it for a little longer.
There is some truth to what Koujaku is saying.
There’s truth but…!
A: Ku….. fu…..
I breathe in gasps trying to bear it and not have a response, and after some time Koujaku pulls his finger out.
I breathe a sigh of relief from the bottom of my heart.
K: It’s over now. I’m gonna wash it away now.
Koujaku lowers the temperature of the water and sprays it over my body.
Even so, there is still a throbbing deep inside of me and I lift my body to turn and face Koujaku.
A: ….
I glare at him in embarrassment with a red face, and Koujaku stops the shower to grip my face in both of his hands.
K: Sorry for doing that so suddenly. Are you okay?
A: You….
K: I said I wasn’t doing it in a weird way, didn’t I? Or did you…
K: …want to go one more time?
A: Like-I-said! I was dizzy and felt like I was going to fall over! And even you…
I peek towards Koujaku’s lower body.
There, just like me, is a half hard erection.
K: …haha. I said I want to go one more time but, we seriously might faint so let’s not for today.
Noticing my line of sight, Koujaku laughs a little worriedly and kisses my face that’s held in his hands.
K: If you want to do it, after all, let’s do it on the bed.
A: ….It’s okay so let’s just hurry and leave!
Moving as quickly as possible and biting my tongue, Koujaku laughs as we leave the bathroom.

A: …Haa, I’ve finally been able to relax.
I lie sprawled face down on Koujaku’s bed as the wind from the open window washes over my body, cooling it down.
The sky with clouds floating in it is starting to darken a little, and the clear blue is fixing with a deep scarlet of the sunset.
Ren and Beni had changed in to sleep mode and the red feathers and blue fur rustle in the breeze.
Koujaku is sitting cross-legged, half naked beside me, smoking a cigarette.
After the two of us started dating, as long as it wasn’t in my room, Koujaku would end up smoking a cigarette when we’re together.
There must be something after all resembling an on and off when he smokes.
I learned that Koujaku smokes cigarettes and cigars after we started dating.
This realization was kind of fresh and fun.
While I space out thinking about these things, Koujaku reaches out a hand to play with the hair on the nape of my neck.
Whether he’s incredibly interested in my now short hair, or just somewhat interested, he’s been playing with it a lot.
K: A while ago your body was completely red, wasn’t it.
A: Jeeze. I was on the verge of collapsing. Whose fault was it, huh? Whose?
K: It’s not just my fault.
A: Why?
K: The one who told me to come it was okay if I come into the bath was you.
A: …
That’s right.
I guess I did say something like that, when I didn’t think about it much.
Koujaku gives an embarrassed smile as he, too, remembers me saying that.
K: But, you know, seeing a completely red Aoba is in its own way kind of erotic and nice.
A: Even if it’s nice for you, it’s troublesome for me!
The hand playing with my hair suddenly pulls on it. But, it doesn’t seem like Koujaku’s paying attention to what he’s doing, looking away as he remembers something, and a smirk causes his lips to lift.
K: No, really, just remembering it…
A: …. So you say, stupid.
After uttering a sigh, I lift my body despite the lingering effects of being dizzy.
I pull the clothing I borrowed from Koujaku closer around my body.
With my change in position, I notice that Koujaku’s back if now slumped.
Seeing the colors on his body and feeling a tight pain in my chest, I hang my head.
I raise my head after a little while to find Koujaku staring somewhere far off into the distance.
K: …
A: … Koujaku?
K: N? Ahh
Koujaku turns his head towards me and smiles a little as if to fix the atmosphere.
A: What’s wrong?
K: No, just… I remembered and started to think about a lot of things.
Koujaku lets out a breath of smoke and taps his cigarette against the ashtray.
K: …Even if I assume I’m okay, my heart is an unexpectedly weak thing.
A: ….
Koujaku is talking about…
The tattoo on his back. He’s talking about the past.
K: Before, when you were touching my back, I had thought that it wasn’t anything anymore, but my body reacted.
K: That time, I was thinking that you actually didn’t want to touch this tattoo.
Koujaku’s words shoot right through my heart.
That means…
He doesn’t want me to step in on these matters after all?
K: It’s kinda like… If you touch these tattoos, I thought you would be sullied.
A: ….Sullied?
K: I felt that you would end up being swallowed by my sin as well.
There is a slight smile on his lips but, Koujaku’s face is looking sadder.
K: It’s not like that, everything is over. I understand that in my head but.
K: …I guess I can’t write it off as nothing, after all.
A: …
K: Even now I still remember it in my dreams. About the past, about Ryuuhou.
K: In reality, it was actually true that I wanted to want to kill him with my own two hands. But.
K: He wanted to be killed by me, and in the end I just catered to his wishes.
K: It’s so frustrating when I think about that. But there was nothing else I could have done in that situation. It would have been wrong of me to overlook him.
K: Even though I say that, no matter what the reasons… no matter how evil that guy was, it won’t change the fact that I murdered someone.
K: That and a lot of other things are engraved on this back.
K: It’s like that in reality.
K: That’s why I thought I didn’t want you to touch my back… but
Koujaku looks into my eyes.
K: It’s a habit for me to think like that. When you touched my tattoos and scars, I couldn’t push you away.
K: No, it’s not like I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. I thought that I didn’t want to push you away.
K: That is after all…. That I probably, somewhere deep in my heart, was thinking that I wanted you to touch them.
K: My… these tattoos.
A: …
I lean in close to Koujaku and stare at his face.
As if understanding this as my answer, Koujaku looks into my eyes again with a little worry.
While looking into Koujaku’s eyes, I reach out one hand to his face.
With one finger I trace the deep, slanting scar.
A: Aoba…
It seems like Koujaku is trembling a little, but he doesn’t run away.
A: I said it before, right?
K: …?
A: No matter what kind of sins you’ve committed or what kind of fate you’re burdened with, the Koujaku I know hasn’t changed at all.
A: It’s okay to not force yourself to forget the past, but I also don’t think you have to act like it’s all okay. But.
A: But if you’re thinking about that guy like this all the time, wouldn’t that be making him more and more happy?
K: …
A: You don’t want that guy to be happy after all this, do you? Also…
A: I won’t say whether the things you did were good or bad.
A: That’s not something for me to decide, and I don’t have the privilege to say anything, either.
A: But, I’m always on your side. I want to be by your side in hard times. So…
A: So…. Thank you.
A: For letting me touch your past like this.
K: …
K: …Aoba
Taking a deep, quiet breath, Koujaku lifts up my bangs and places a kiss on my forehead.
K: The one who should be saying thanks it me. I’m glad that you’re here with me
Koujaku hugs me around the chest.
The heat coming off of Koujaku is pleasant, and just like that I close my eyes.
Today is an important day. It’s the day when Koujaku cut my hair.
I don’t necessarily think that him cutting my hair is anything special.
But, it was an important wish that Koujaku wanted to carry out.
The scar of the past that Koujaku was caught in… the fact that he murdered Ryuuhou was also longstanding desire for Koujaku.
Like that.
In order to lessen the pain of those scars, I want to pile up all the important things for Koujaku and I.
I want to gather enough that it covers up those scars.
And, if one day he can separate the past and the present, it would be good if all those things became important things to Koujaku.
Because there is no need for him to force himself to forget the past.
In order for the day that Koujaku can consider everything about the path he has walked important, I will stay with him.
… Today was the day I got my hair cut.
And has also become an important day for me…