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- The Fluffy That Hated Spaghetti
- Dearest readers, gather ‘round, and let me tell you a tale
- Be warned, this is not one of balloons, or confetti
- No, dear readers, this is a sordid story, one of great woe
- Of a small fluffy pony that absolutely hated spaghetti
- An average foal, the young fluffy seemed normal
- He would eat, play, laugh, and sleep, just like any other
- It was as though no wrong could occur
- Until the family got a call from their mother
- “Daddeh gon’ make sketties todai!” She cried,
- Eyes wide, mouth salivating, heart racing
- The very words triggered a deep-seated excitement
- Each and every fluffy began pacing
- Except, of course, our main fluffy in question
- Sketties being THAT great? Pfft, what a thought!
- He merely sat on the floor, awaiting his meal
- Separate from the rest of the prancing, singing lot
- “Fluffies? Your spaghetti is ready!” their owner announced
- The plate of pasta was placed on the floor, waiting
- Instantly, a flurry of fluff and cheers moved towards the dish
- Excluding our hero, who found the whole concept quite grating
- The small fluffy sat in the corner, looking at the food
- “Babbeh? Ea’ sketties! Dey gud nummies, nu bad!”
- The ‘baby’, however, was planted right where he sat
- “Pwease, ea’ sketties, befawh daddeh ge’ss mad!”
- “You little fucker!” The family’s daddy shouted, quite loud
- “You don’t like the food I made for you?”
- “The food that every single fluffy pony loves?”
- “Fine, you don’t like it? Get out, shoo!”
- The young, spaghetti-hating fluff was kicked out
- Quite literally, and he landed on his rear
- Despite cries from his mother, he was forced to leave
- And our dear fluffy is far from being out of the clear
- He remembered, however, a primal, instinctual lesson
- That he needed to find a friendly feral herd
- “Dat’s whuh fwuffy do!” he proclaimed, chest swelled with pride
- “Eben if dat simpow idea’s absewd!”
- He wandered for hours and hours, and wandered some more
- Until he eventually came upon a small group of seven
- “Hewwo, nu fwends!” He called. “Who yu?”
- The herd all replied at once: “We da Twavewwin’ Twoupe!”
- “Fwuffy wan’ join twoupe! How do?”
- “Den’ fwuffy nee’ pass da test!”
- “Fwuffy am weady faw test! Wan’ join!”
- “Otay, answer dis: Wha’ nummies is best?”
- The small fwuffy was stunned, he had no idea
- What food was truly supreme?
- “Fwuffy nu know! Gwassies, ow buggies?”
- “YU BIG DUMMEH! GO FAWW IN A STWEAM!”
- The small fluffy cried, but moved on regardless
- Finally reaching the residential streets
- He needed to find a human and fast
- His stomach was begging for food and treats
- The fluffy went door to door, begging for donations
- Door slammed in his face nearly each time
- The poor young fluffy couldn’t get any sympathy
- Nobody wanted to help a fluffy coated in grime
- But on that street lived a young girl, Eliza
- Her family poor, clothes all torn up and ratty
- And when that fluffy knocked on her door, she vowed
- “I’ll raise you just right; make sure you’re not bratty.”
- She carried the fluffy inside, and set him down on the floor
- “You need food, sweetie. I’ll get something, I swear.”
- She looked and looked through the cupboards, and got a small can
- “It’s not spaghetti, but I hope you don’t care.”
- Eliza cracked open the can, and pulled back the top
- “It’s ham. I think it might suit you fine.”
- The fluffy edged towards the meal, and opened his mouth
- Slowly but surely, he began to dine
- This food was amazing! Incredible, even!
- The best food the fluffy had ever tried!
- “You like it huh?” The young girl asked
- The fluffy just nodded, vigorously, eyes wide
- The lesson he learned, dear readers, is this:
- Being different isn’t a thing that’s bad
- And if you’re willing to branch out
- There’s a world of fun to be had
- But then the fluffy contracted Fluffy AIDS from seemingly nowhere.
- THE END
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