To Get Shitfaced With a Rainbow

	"Well you do seem damn right depressed." Anon wasn't subtle, taking a long gulp of that same shitty German beer he hates yet still insists on buying. Next to him on his plastic-covered sofa, he reached over to offer a sympathetic drink. The coil of varied colorful rays, still puffy in the eyes, gave him a dirty look but obliged. Her gleaming transparent lips took the lip of the bottle, chugging as much as she could steal.

	"Cute." he mumbled at the now empty bottle.

	"Ugh, tastes like dog urine..." She grumbled, Looking out the window at the thick mass of gray clouds swirling ominously around the cityscape, blocking any trace of the Sun setting. She wasn't quite up to ribbing Anon just yet, she tried to when she arrived for the second time to his apartment, almost four months after her first arrival. She thought, understandably, that poking fun at his lack of sex life and poor living conditions would have given her the pep she needed to go back to handling things in the game world.

  What actually happened wasn't quite so fantastic. It wasn't until she'd gotten her first jab in before long repressed misery let itself out and somehow, she, the ultimate Final Boss material and most sadistic, powerful force of Nature there is, wound up bawling her eyes out like a goddamn child in the arms of the same human she fought, fucked, and fled from earlier that year.

	This wouldn't have been so bad if he would have called her a whiny bitch and sent her packing with some iota of dignity left, but nope. In a truly monstrous fashion only a human could muster, he had the gall to hold her while she fell into a ranting sob over issues he didn't understand and most likely never would. Fading relevancy, less than fifty people playing online, failure as a mascot, and so on and so forth. She kept a tight ship when the game was running, but it was a nagging reality as time passed that her time in the limelight was over. People on YouTube were showcasing 'speedruns' as to how quickly they could beat her senseless, even in her own realm!

	She tried to not let the riff-raff of gamers, arguably the second most pitiful collective group of people on the planet get to her- but they did- and of course it didn't let itself out in the most pathetic drizzle of waterworks until she was right in front of the only human she'd made 'love' with and, while she'd never, ever tell him, held some degree of respect for. Just a sliver. His suggestion to her once she'd sufficiently soaked his shirt to the brim with tears (just rainwater) and blubbered all she could blubber against his neck was a simple one.

	"There's a marathon of the Twilight Zone on TV Land, let's get shitfaced."

	The black-and-white program didn't hold much value to her, but at that point she was nowhere near ready to start attacking Anon's taste in entertainment. For the first time since her inception she felt truly weak, exhausted. She wasn't sure if she could get drunk, but by the first few beers she felt a wonderful dullness start to numb her ragged mind. So she welcomed it. Anon stayed on his side of the sofa, and she on her own, the mood was tense, quiet. Awkward.

	"Oh hey, this is the one about the reader who keeps having his books taken away, saw this one with my Grandma way back when I was a kid, she still had one of those old TVs, in color but ancient, with the speakers built inside of a wooden box that held the whole thing together. I remember one of the speakers was busted. Drove her nuts." Anon mumbled, more to kill off the quiet in the room as he held the bottle up for Rainbow to glug down another beer. She belched, her face tinted pink beyond the rays of color composing her 'body', and he could tell an attempt to excuse herself was coming. Oh right, she was the arrogant, proud sort too. He responded with a forced belch in turn.

	"Geez, humans really are disgusting." Rainbow grimaced, rolling her eyes, her speech was starting to slur a bit, as Anon would put it, the medicine was doing its job. She nestled further against the soaked plastic, her eyes had bags around her bags, and for such a simple creature in construction, she was well aware she was dripping and no doubt looked like garbage. "-If the TV was broken, why not just pay someone to fix it?"

	"Didn't have the money." Anon took the now-empty bottle away from her, nudging the orange of her coiled stripe by accident. She gave a surprised yelp, shrinking against the cushion from the surprise contact. Anon had to look away, he could hear the telltale bleeps of profanity coming from his depressed improv roommate at yet another pathetic display on her part.

	"I... should go-" the Rainbow, beet-red in the face to the point that it was marring her color scheme, tried to float off the couch, having very apparently never had drink before. The puffy clouds circling slowly around her colorful serpent-like form weighed her down, and her attempt to jerk up only resulted in her awkwardly smacking against the armrest of the sofa face-first. If it wasn't so damn pitiful, Anon would have laughed his ass off at her.

	"Goddammit, no, you're staying here tonight, and that's that, it's probably illegal to fly intoxicated anyways."

	"How dare you try and tell me what I can't- can't-" Rainbow hiccuped, face still planted against the armrest, "-I don't remember what I was saying, but it was very mean and you should feel bad... Humans suck... Hey!"

	Anon sighed as he grabbed a chunk of cloud nearest to her head-end, he learned from his first meeting with her that grabbing her by her colored rays wouldn't do it. The moan was expected too, it wasn't his intent to violate her but he had no other means of moving her. Before she could complain past her moan, he took advantage of the shock to lift her and move her head to his lap. By the time he laid her across him, she'd regained her own composure.

	"Y-you pervert! Taking advantage of a lady-no, a G-Goddess while she's down on her luck, I bet you only invited me to take advantage of me, didn't you? I knew you were the disgusting, abominable sort to-"

	"Another drink?"

	"-Oh God, yes."

	So that's how the next hour passed, since she was lain across his lap, the two shared bottles. The alcohol had loosened both their lips, the rim damp with their mixed saliva as they swapped more of the bitter concoction. Anon couldn't help but notice with some amusement how her clouds seemed to puff and swell as she drank and how the colors of her body seemed to run and drizzle around her. Fortunately, even while 'puddling', she seemed to keep form well enough not to stain anything, and he was just in his pajama pants anyway, the moisture wasn't a big deal given it was humid in his apartment anyways.

	"Hey loser... What the heck are you looking at?" Rainbow huffed, and he realized he was caught eyeing the thick clouds wrapping lazily around her vibrant form. Was that a horndog thing to do? He didn't know, she was a fucking rainbow.

	"Nothin'. Just dozing off, I guess." He scratched his neck, making sure to keep his focus on the television and off of her.

	"... You got beer stains all over your shirt, that's repulsive..."

	"No I don't-"

	By the time he'd looked down, she'd managed to use his lap as leverage to rise along his chest just far enough to catch his lips as he glanced down for the ever-so-offensive stain. The message was clear enough, he returned the kiss, her lips pulling his bottom forward with a lazy tug, Rainbow groaning slightly as she brought herself further along his warm body, wrapping herself around his back, sliding her tongue between his parted lips. They both reeked of booze, but Rainbow had the advantage of being mostly rainwater to dilute the scent a little bit as the warmth of the human's breath met the chilly mist of the Rainbow's.

	His tongue met hers, smaller in comparison, tapping together until Rainbow had coiled her tongue around his own, sampling his flavor, their lips parting further, faces tilted, eyes shut more from exhaustion than any romantic intent or lust. The slow dancing of tongues and swapping of spit lasted a long while, Anon was worried he'd pass out if they didn't break eventually.

	At long last, after both had their full taste of each other, Rainbow eased away slowly, multiple trails of spit falling onto Anon's chest as they parted. Both took a long, drawn breath of air, Anon's chest heaving as he did so.

	Rainbow collapsed against his belly in a heap, having properly coiled around his back, he couldn't help but feel like the pray of some garishly colorful snake at this point. He felt his vision start to fail as the drink and exhaustion was too much to handle when he could hear Rainbow mumble ever so faintly under her breath.

	"Oldest trick... in the book... Sucker..."

The End.