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Atlach-Nacha

A Colonial Conquest

Atlach-Nacha
Nov 3rd, 2018
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  1. [2018-06-23 14:59] *Kylie Griffin 's dessicated, hollowed-out husk is all that remains of her body in the attic now.
  2. [2018-06-23 14:59] Korri Grimmsson: And that right there is why we DON'T go into the attic
  3. [2018-06-23 14:59] *Samuel Swayze contemplates possessing Kylie's husk to use as a puppet.
  4. [2018-06-23 15:00] Joey Bites: HEY YEAH. That's right! The hair thing! I'm still pissed at you, I'm not fuckin' with your handouts.
  5. [2018-06-23 15:00] *Atlach-Nacha realizes she's totally forgotten about the ghostbuster after Warden's weird plants overgrew her nest. The eggs seem to already have hatched. That means...
  6. [2018-06-23 15:01] Joey Bites: ...
  7. [2018-06-23 15:02] Engineer Claudio: [sub]Do I need to get the bug spray?[/sub]
  8. [2018-06-23 15:02] Korri Grimmsson: Yes
  9. [2018-06-23 15:02] *Atlach-Nacha the sound of sirens resounds inside Joey's body, sleeper cells awakening and secret bases activating. The Great Colonization of Catboi Continent can begin.
  10. [2018-06-23 15:02] Joey Bites: :(
  11. [2018-06-23 15:03] *Joey Bites is having a WEIRD WEEK.
  12. [2018-06-23 15:03] Atlach-Nacha: Let's turn that frown inside out.
  13. [2018-06-23 15:03] *Engineer Claudio lobs a can of bug spray to Joey.
  14. [2018-06-23 15:04] Joey Bites: Yes good idea I'll chug this pesticide
  15. [2018-06-23 15:06] Engineer Claudio: Says it kills bugs not cats, so!
  16. [2018-06-23 15:07] Engineer Claudio: Or... I could make "nanomachines" to fight them in some sort of micro war
  17. [2018-06-23 15:07] Engineer Claudio: Don't ask how they work though.
  18. [2018-06-23 15:08] Joey Bites: Have you ever seen spiders and nanomachines duke it out in someone's intestines before?
  19. [2018-06-23 15:09] Samuel Swayze: That sounds like a party
  20. [2018-06-23 15:10] *Atlach-Nacha Teleportation beacons made of looted ghostbuster gubbins come to life, allowing the newborn invaders to zap in. Brave amphibious assaulters storm the beaches brazenly, overrunning whatever fleshy barriers might be in their way. The beachhead clear, commando squads, lead by intrepid conquistadors, move out of the liver to capture other organs and establish new landing bases. Billions of courageous soldiers claim the warm and moist lands, followed by waves of resourceful settlers, determined to exploit and cultivate every bit of it, plopping down their colony huts and already organizing daycare for the coming generations. This is the dawn of a new era.
  21. [2018-06-23 15:10] *Engineer Claudio "You may lose... Some of your bowels in a Scorched Earth operation... Scorched Bowels if you will."
  22. [2018-06-23 15:11] *Joey Bites feels funny. <:{
  23. [2018-06-23 15:11] Engineer Claudio: [sub]I love Civilization.[/sub]
  24. [2018-06-23 15:13] A Bloody Mess: [sub]The things I come back to.[/sub]
  25.  
  26. ***
  27.  
  28. [2018-06-24 10:50] *Atlach-Nacha has been receiving strange reports from the new colonies. There's something odd about the landscape. Somewhere deep within stirs a foreign power, flowing from channels sinister and unknown. These are lands of never before seen development potential. Opinion factions form in the colonies, debating on whether to leave the eldritch currents be, or to exploit them as an energy source. The latter faction is steadily gaining the upper hand, despite staunch resistance based on ethical and environmental concerns. Experimental machines powered by the poorly understood energies are already being built, and the colonies are on the cusp of a scientific revolution. Wild speculations regarding the origins of the energies roam and the press, and a hot topic on everyone's spidery palps. Secret occult orders are forming in the shadows, intent on discovering the arcane mysteries behind this phenomenon from Beyond the Catboi, the things that should not be.
  29. [2018-06-24 10:54] *Eras Object [sub]and ode to what Stygian nightmares watch with bated breath as a culmination of the stars and skies awakens on latter planes of old Kal-Sabbot.[/sub]
  30. [2018-06-24 10:55] Vicky the Victim: I"a! I"a!
  31.  
  32. ***
  33.  
  34. 2018-06-25 19:31] Joey Bites: Nobody stays dead.
  35. [2018-06-25 19:31] Chath Solen: One death is a tragedy; a million is a statistic.
  36. [2018-06-25 19:32] Joey Bites: If I thought I could, maybe I would! Oblivion sounds great.
  37. [2018-06-25 19:39] Dobarad Ushang: That's why he does drugs; bottled, needled, and tablet oblivion.
  38. [2018-06-25 19:41] *Joey Bites sweats. Little on the nose, there
  39. [2018-06-25 19:41] *Dobarad Ushang is insane - but that does not mean he is not sometimes right!
  40. [2018-06-25 19:42] *Atlach-Nacha The environmentalist movement has been getting stronger in the colonies, not least due to the unhealthy fertilizers becoming mainstream. The lands are swelling with empty calories and saturated fats, posing problems for agriculture and construction alike. The only positively affected industry seems to be the bacteria breeders, who have started a counter-lobby and have already been involved in at least one corruption scandal related to embezzling valuable fertilizer products. Demonstrators for a better diet are gathering petition signatures, determined to put decisive pressure on the powers that be. In its somewhat lenient response, the colonial government is considering building ejection ramps to send a part of the unhealthy provisions back to where they came from, before they can cause pollution. Conservative media sarcastically refers to the conflict as "Chard versus Lard", pointing out with some vitriol that healthy spiders can grow just as well on either. Health of the land itself notwithstanding.
  41. [2018-06-25 19:43] Joey Bites: [sub]Bitch did you just call me fat--[/sub]
  42. [2018-06-25 19:44] Tiddly: [sub]Obess.[/sub]
  43. [2018-06-25 19:45] Dobarad Ushang: [sub]Look, it's the asian knock-off of the anasazi grandmother spider, here to lecture us about how we have to change our ways[/sub]
  44. [2018-06-25 19:45] Tiddly: [sub]You should. Don't be a thicc fuck like me.[/sub]
  45. [2018-06-25 19:45] Jioh: [sub]I actually like these little lore posts. Kinda fun to read.[/sub]
  46. [2018-06-25 19:46] Joey Bites: [sub]Right? I'm rooting for spider colony.[/sub]
  47. [2018-06-25 19:48] *Dobarad Ushang sent the Demonweb Pits toppling into 222, to be eaten by Juiblex and Zuggtmoy; spiders pose neither threat nor challenge, nor even interest.
  48. [2018-06-25 19:49] Jioh: [sub]I mean right, healthy spiders CAN grown on either, you don't mean to tell me their solution is to just huck valuable resources out the window for no reason? Consider family groups that need places to stay, this is perfectly fine for them. Liberal spiders are trying to wreck lives.[/sub]
  49. [2018-06-25 19:52] *Joey Bites doesn't have the resources to feed both him and a gajillion spiders, he's gotta cut costs somehow
  50. [2018-06-25 19:53] *Dobarad Ushang hand's Joey some potent aracnacidic spray poison.
  51. [2018-06-25 19:54] *Atlach-Nacha considers sending some official press support to the conservative side of things. Can't have the liberals emptying Joey's already meagre wallet.
  52. [2018-06-25 19:57] *Jioh nod nod. Now if only we could find a solution to this problem that made both sides happy. Alas he's a self-funded startup with meteor dust in his basement.
  53. [2018-06-25 20:01] *Joey Bites has so many things living on and in him. And people say HE's a parasite <:'\
  54. [2018-06-25 20:06] *A Bloody Mess [sub]Poor Joey.[/sub]
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