Thread 17: Stories 76-90

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>Applejack
'*"Various Nobles"*'

~~~~~~~~~~

>Ah'm only goin to ask this once... Who submitted this request?

'...'

*...*

"..."

>Ah see... Well... As ya all know, Canterlot is in ruins... Property values have plummeted and ah understand that now would be a great time to buy real estate... However... WHO IN THERE BUCKIN RIGHT MIND THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO BUY HALF THE MERCHANT DISTRICT TO BUILD A MOAT AROUND THEIR ESTATE!?

'...'

*...*

"...ah..."

>YOU! IT WAS YOU WASN'T IT!? WHAT REASON CAN YA POSSIBLY HAVE TO NEED A MOAT!?

"...To keep the Black Knight at bay?..."

>... Get out! ALL OF YA!

"..........So I take that as a no?"

*POOP*

>AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

*Holy! Did her entire eye just...!?*

'Ahh!... Oh Celestia its everywhere!'

"IT'S IN MY EYE! ITS LOOKING AT ME AND IT'S IN MY EYE!!!!"
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>42
"Rarity"
'AJ'
~~~
'Howdy, 42!'

>Princesses

"Dearie, have you seen Spikey? Applejack and I are discussing some budgeting plans and would like a third party to help crunch the numbers and weigh things out."

>Right now he's having the guard clear the training field to run exercises with them, making a quick pace of things if you ask me.

'Well maybe he'll git done a bit faster if we lend a hoof... 'r a horn.'

Rarity and Applejack travel to the old training field where Spike and other guards grunt, sweat, and heft heavy slabs of stone and move them into piles

"He's... gotten quite strong hasn't he?"

'... Very... Ah'd love ta watch 'im buck an orchard righ' now ya see those muscles at work...'

Then they can spot Spike bending over, tail in the air as he then easily lifts a chunk of stone three times his size.

SPROING!

And there go Rarity and Applejack's wings just as 42 comes by

>what about your budget debate-

"It can wait!"

'Ah'mma be righ' here, no calls!'
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>Applejack
“Spike”
‘Cadance’
-Batmom-
{AJ56}
_________

The Princess of Paperwork could be found atop her bed, warms rays of vibrant sunlight washing over her nestled figure through the window… which wasn’t actually a window until very recently.

She wasn’t asleep, merely taking a five-minute breather, until she felt something nuzzling up against her hips.

>Mmmmmn…

Unsurprisingly, her groans did not deter the nuzzling. It only increased, so much so that she added a hoof to try and swat the nuisance away.

>Mmmmngh, Ah said….

It wasn’t until something pressed up to her stomach that Applejack opened her eyes and, bypassing the way Cadance had an ear to her belly, saw a number of people surrounding her.

>…okay, what is thi- 56! Boy, will y’all get off mah hips? A-and quit lickin’ ‘em, they’re not lollipops!

{Sure taste like it!}

>What in tarnation is goin' on here?

‘Oh, Applejack, congratulations! We only just heard from Chrysalis!’

>Congratulations? For what?

Glimmer patted her stomach with an almost challenging smirk.

-Welcome to Club Maternity, apple princess. It’s going to be a wild ride but don’t worry, I know all the best spots to get that craving food.-

>Club Maternity? Craving food?

{We really shoulda seen this comin', you guys, I mean really! Look at these thighs and bodacious hips! Perfect for some foal givin’!}

>Foals? What in the hay are you gabbin’ abo-

But then Spike stepped up, clearly shaken with nerves and twiddling his fingers, tail tucked between his legs. When Applejack turned her befuddled gaze to him, he suddenly inhaled, finding the strength to right his spine and cease his trembling.

“I… Applejack, listen… I d-don’t know when it happened but I swear on both Celestia and Luna that I’ll be there for you, okay?”

He picked up her hoof, laying a hand over the band he’d given her.

“Anything you need, I’ll get it for you. This is your moment to shine and I’ll show you I can be not only the best husband but the best father ever. I’m going to treat you like a princess each and every day.”

While the gathered patrons nodded at the dragons words, Applejack was more confused than a hotdog at a pie eating contest.

>Sugar, Ah-

He gave her a quick silencing kiss, one that caused her ears to fold rather cutely.

“When Chrysalis told us you were pregnant, I nearly fainted… but then I realized that this had become the best day of my life. You’re so beautiful Applejack, and now I guess I get to enjoy that beauty forever.”

Cadance looked like she might cry at the scene, her lower lip trembling; Glimmer was jotting down a list of foods and things to look out for; 56 was adamantly nibbling at the apples that comprised of Applejack’s cutie mark.

The ‘pregnant’ mare in question only gave a still-tired smile and rubbed her nose against Spike’s.

>Sugar? Sugar, listen t’ me. Ah’m not pregnant. We’ve never made love. That has to happen for me t’ get pregnant.

“…”
‘…’
-…-
{…}

“S-so you mean…”

>That Chrysalis pulled the wool over yer eyes? Eeeyup. Though, if’n Ah say so, that was a right heart-poundin’ speech there, loverboy.

‘Huh. Well, if you all will excuse me, I have to go murder a certain insect.’

-Me too, actually.-

Far from looking upset, Spike merely slammed a hand into his other palm.

“Ooooh, so I only dreamt that I got you pregnant then. Wow, it felt so real, all the things we did… huh. Well then, guess the joke’s on us, eh?”

>…
‘…’
-…-
{…}

>Um… what… w-what all did we do? In that dream of yers?

“Hm? Oh, don’t worry about it, applebutt. Had you sweating up a storm though, I’ll say that much. Welp, I’ll see you guys later, gotta go tell the gun club about this one, they’ll be laughing for days.”

And just like that, Spike left the room chuckling, leaving a very red-faced and highly curious Applejack behind. So lost in thought, she didn’t even notice that 56 had stealthily moved to burying his face in her rump.

{Mmmmm….}

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>Spike
“Chrysalis”
_______

>No.

“Aw, come on!”

>I said no.

“Isn’t this supposed to be a date? Aren’t you supposed to make ME, the female, feel all special and cherished? That’s only going to happen if you do this.”

>Then I guess you’ll be feeling drab and unloved. Not happening. In fact, why did you even play that stupid game in the first place? What good could this faux-date possibly do for you?

“Well nothing unless you quit whining like a little bitch and indulge me!”

>Look. I’m not painting myself white, I’m not wearing that fake plastic horn, I’m not putting on that royal guard uniform, and I am damn sure not going to ‘rut’ you once I’ve done all the previous things I’m not going to do.

“Well FINE, be that way! I guess this date is over before it even starts! Tough luck for you, kiddo, you could’ve had yourself a prime cut of this sexy steak right here but noooo, now you done went and blew it!”

Spike deadpanned at the sulking Queen. Really, outside of her bitchiness and constant whining, she could be cute at the weirdest times. This being one of them as she stomped a hoof and pouted.

He reached up to give her a peck over the cheek.

>A goodnight kiss for a queen.

“…you kissed me.”

>That I did.

“Why…?”

>Because you’re a spoiled, rotten, vindictive, and cunning queen bitch… but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a little affection every now and again.

“Hmph! D-don’t think that gets you any points or anything like that! I get kisses all the time, I am the kiss hoarder!”

>Course you are.

He waved, turning to leave.

>See ya later, Chrysalis. You’re about date number three on a very long list of winners.

“…wait!”


>Eh?

“You know, maybe dressing you up as Shiny is a lost cause. I mean, hell, let’s face it, you’re no prince charming. Or stallion. Or even a pony-”

>Right. I only just realized I was a dragon this morning.

“-so maybe we should try this the normal way. Even though it’s totally boring, I’ll allow you to escort me around and buy me food. And who knows, play your cards right and I might let you get a freebie grab!”

If it weren’t for the fact that she had won the game and that it was mandatory to make this a special for the winner, Spike would have said the complete opposite of what came from his mouth.

>Thanks for your… generosity, allowing this lowly servant a chance to touch your regal figure.

That seemed to please Chrysalis on unspoken levels for she smiled, flipping her teal mane proudly.

“I know, right? Well, let’s be off, dragonboy! You’ve got all night to pamper my sexy ass!”

>…of course, milady.

“Mmmmm, you're off to a good start, dragonboy~.”

NON CANON
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>Poindexter
"Gaffer"
'8-bit'
~~~~~

>...Soooo...

"..."

'...'

>...You, uh, you guys doing okay?

"She stepped on my house, Dex."

>Kinda sucks. You, Bitty?

'She stepped on the apartment I lived in.'

>Sorry for your loss.

'Don't be, only thing in there was an unhealthy amount of pizza boxes and shame.'

>...Either of you guys been out to see Shiny?

"No."

'No.'

>Sent him a note?

"..."
'...'

>...NOT fantasized about killing him and taking his place?

"Oh! That. Yeah, did that just this morning."

'Why, I went a whole ten minutes without thinking about that.'

"Ten minutes? Mind of steel, that one."

>Oh, come on, he didn't-

"Rush to Princess Celestia's rescue and beat the shit out of a giant monster that took out everyone else? Yes. He did. Do you have ANY idea how laid he is getting right now? Every poon in a five mile radius is just instinctively going to be pulled towards him, they won't even question it."

'Not to mention how Celestia is going to 'Thank' him when this is all over. Because, of course, it wasn't bad enough he's been doing her since his guard days, now he gets extra rescue nookie!'

>...Absolutely none of that is tru-

"OH GOD! WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN MEEEEEEE!?"

'WHY COULDN'T I BE THE HERO!? ALL I DID WAS HIDE UNDER A COUCH!'

"I WANT THANK YOU SEXING FROM CELESTIA!"

'I JUST WANT ANY SEXING AT ALL! IT'S BEEN SO LONG I CAN FEEL MY SPERM PLAYING POKER EVERY NIGHT!'

"'WHYYYYYYY!?'"

>.........I'm worried about you guys.........

"'WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-
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>Chitania
" Awkward Changeling "
~~~~~

The scenery rolling by as the train past over pure white snow meant little to the stewing mind of angry seated by the window on train. Her thoughts were focused on one single phrase.

Fuck this world.

This world is fucking stupid.

Not a single lead. Not one goddamn lead in all the many lands she's visited. This is insane. She knew these idiots were obsessed with that white symbol of false power, but this has gone beyond that. There must be some clue out there...

"E-e-e-excuse me?"

Remember what mother said... remember what mother said... murders lead to investigation. Do not kill... do noooott...

>What.

"Y-you're, um, you're going to break that glass. N-not that it's my glass, it's the trains. I mean, the train owners. Whoever owns the train, I mean."

Hm, she was right, a bit more pressure and she would have sunken right through. She should likely at the very least acknowledge this...

Changeling?

>What...

"...What?"

>You're a...

"Oh... um... yeah, sorry? I mean, I can't help being a Changeling... I mean, I guess I technically can, but I kind of suck at disguises, so I don't."

>I can relate...

"What?"

>Nothing. But I am curious...

"Why everyone's avoiding this side? I think it's cause I'm a Changeling... not that I want to judge anyone or anything! They might have reasons!... But they probably don't..."

>Hrm.

"B-but that's okay! Cause I'm going home today! I live in the Crystal Empire, it's nice. Great. Lotta good things. Nice place..."

>Hrm, don't think I ever traveled there.

"You should! It's so nice, all sparkly and the ponies are great and the food is great well I mean food for them I mostly just eat love stuff but... sorry, I mean it's good. Should introduce you to Ms Glitz! I work there. It's nice."

>You don't say.

If this drone does not shut the fuck up in two seconds this whole damn train is going to go-

"Yeah! Shining Armor lives there too. He's nice. Got me my job, actually! Really thankful."

>...Oh?

"Yeah, was really nice of him. He didn't have to, I mean, I didn't think he would, after what we did, but he did! I guess he's just like that, don't know for sure, don't really know him."

>Hrm... tell me, little Drone, what do you know about Gods?

"Uhhhh... dunno? Lotssa ponies think alicorn are gods, but they don't really seem to be. I met one. She was nice, let us stay in her ballroom. Princess Cadence also is kind of silly sometimes....N-NOT THAT I KNOW HER! I don't want you thinking I know a princess or anything! Just... it's not really goddy, you know?"

>Figured. Do me a favor?

"Oh! Sure! I love doing favors, what can I-"

>Shut the fuck up for the rest of the trip, okay?

"...o-oh... o...okay..."

>Good.

"..."

>...

"...um-"

>What did I JUST say?

"I-I-I-I-I know, and I don't want to bug you, heh bug, it's just... do you... know..."

>Spit it out you damned worm.

"Why are we in the mountains? The train isn't supposed to go there. It's supposed to go to the Empire."

>...

"...Should... should I say something? I don't want to seem needy or demanding...

>.........................HOW THE FU-
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Private Bronze Pommel was on top of the world, well not so much on top of the world as on top of a raft, but still. He swayed back and forth with the haphazard collection tree trunks as it was directed by wind and current deeper into the ocean and hopefully towards Equestria. He was alone but for the splash of water, the whistling of the wind, the Mer-Mares...

"Wait, what?" Pommel blinked, quickly looking around his raft.

Sure enough, frolicking in the waves around his meager ship, was a group of creatures that were half stunning beauteous mare, half majestic dolphin...at least he figured it was a dolphin, considering it was waving up and down and not side to side. Giggling they seemed to encircle his raft, slapping the water with their singular pair of front hooves.

Entranced, Pommel crawled forward, as one of the creatures began to swim towards the raft. He locked eyes with the creature, and it was as though the mysteries of the universe had been solved, yet replaced with even more engaging secrets. He leaned out over the edge of the raft his mind a haze of affection, he wanted to hug this miraculous creature, embrace it so that it could take him down beneath the waves to world this aquatic princess knew-

Then his eyes blinked and he realized he was about to kiss a shark.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" He leapt backwards to the safety of the raft's center as the beast's jaws snapped shut, he panted, catching terrified and ragged breaths.

"WHY THE HELL DID I DRINK THE SEAWATER!?"
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>42
"77"
~~~~

>You are relieved, 77. Go enjoy a bit of free time,

"Much appreciated. These little bastards are going to drive me up a wall. I take it you managed to set your affairs in order?"

>For the moment. Could you believe those fools actually thought they would get a break without me there? Pffft, I made them lap the castle a dozen times, while carrying a sack of bricks, just to show them what's what.

"You are too soft on them."

>Oh, I know, but I feel bad for them, you know? Enslaved, thrown through time, currently under orders from Cadence of all ponies... I feel for them. Couldn't bring myself to make them fight in the pit like we did.

"Well, I only fought in there once."

>Bah, she did it to toughen me up! And it worked out well, would you not say? I dare you to find another Changeling as strong as I, save her Majesty of course.

"Oh, I see. So you were merely pretending to run from Chitania?"

>...Not fair.

"I do it to keep you from getting a big head, sister. Who know what you might..."

>...I am sorry that 32 feels like this. Though I never particularly liked him, in fact he made me want to bite his head off on numerous occasions, I do not wish his fate on anyone. I hate him for his arrogance and attempt on the Queen's life, but I feel for him for what he did to you.

"No need to explain, sister. I understand. But things he said have made me... uneasy."

>...77, do we need to have a talk?

"Oh no, no no no, nothing of that nature. I would never think of harming her. Even at my darkest, I did not wish her dead. But things he said... tell me, do you ever think she would ask you to hurt Shining Armor?"

>Of course not, that is silly!

"But what would happen if she did?"

>She never would. You may as well ask Twilight what she would do if Celestia asked her to cease being friends with her little clique.

"The thing is... I'm not so certain she never would ask me not to turn on Cheerilee."

>...77, there is something you need to know.

"Oh?"

>During the robot's invasion... I knew she was scheming something, knew she was plotting something. When the day arrived, and she came to me and Shining Armor during the battle... I could smell something was different. Something had happened. Before that day, I prepared myself. If she was about to do something that would endanger us...

"...What happened?"

>She smashed my head into the floor, and whispered to me, "Loyalty versus love... never works out well for the former." Then she locked me up with Shining Armor, and Two, and went on to make an attempt at becoming all powerful.

A gentle hoof was placed on his shoulder.

>Take heed, 77. She is a cruel mare, willing to do whatever it takes to succeed in her ultimate goal... but she knows how powerful love is. She knows better than to face it head on. That said...

Her eyes suddenly became uneasy.

>Just because our Queen will likely never ask you to choose... does not mean others will not. We are outcasts here, never forget that. There is kindness in some of them, but not every pony is a saint.

With that, she shoved past him, going on to stand watch over her kin.

>Be wary, brother. You possess skills, and that makes you every bit the target I am. If you have any hope of staying together with her, you must be strong. I will do what I can to help you, always, but there may come a time when I am simply unable.

"...Thank you, sister."

She left him alone after that, closing the doors behind her, and leaving him to his thoughts.

>OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO SET THE WINDOWS ON FIRE!? IT'S BEEN FIVE MINUTES ARE YOU SERIOUS!?

Well, mostly his thoughts.

>DON'T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH! IT'S DRAINO YOU IDIOT!

...Should probably get a better thinking place.
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>Garble
"Fizzle"
'other teen dragons'
[Spike]
~~~
'And stay out, faggots!'

Garble hurls another rock at some fleeing ponies laughing while casually scooping up a bejeweled family heirloom and swallowing it whole

'Best idea ever: Canterlot's in ruins, and we can't even throw one gemstone around without finding a dozen more!'

"Uh, guys, I still am against this! What if their princess comes? Or princesses? I hear they have a lot now."

>Fizzle, stop being a bitch and man up! If the princesses come, we'll bitch slap them like whatever did this. I mean if some big, dumb, bug bitch can wreck pony shit, they're lucky we don't drive them to extinction just by existing!

[You know, when I heard about some 'asshole dragons', I had a hunch it was you guys.]

"Oh, man, the long arm of the- Oh, it's just Spike."

'Bahahahah! Princesses are so scared they hide behind some gimped dragon to protect them-'

BANG!

>...

'...'

'...'

[Leave. Now.]

>Yo-You think your stupid, pony toy scares us?!

"Garble-"

>Shut it, Fizzle, you wanna run with your tail between your legs, go ahead!

"... Fine by me, better to be live coward than dead idiot. No, hard feelings, right, Spik-?"

BANG!

"I'm going! I'm going!"

[Might wanna follow your friend's example there.]

A few more dragons leave

>Go ahead and run like bitches! I'm not running from some shrimp who pretends their a drag-

BANG!

>Fuck! My arm!

[Funny you should call me a shrimp when I have a pistol in my hands.]

'Fuck this, man! I'm already full! Come on, Garble, this isn't worth it!'

>F-Fuck you! I'm not leaving! I chased- chased him and his faggot friends away- last time! I'm not run-ing from them now!

'Fuck your arguments!'

The other dragons begin to pull Garble away

>let me go, you dipshits! I-I'm not in that much- I mean I'm not hurting!

[you have way better friends than you deserve]

>THIS ISN'T OVER- Oh! Mother of fuck this hurts!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

February 1st, Equestria, Canterlot

AJ looks down at Spike and flaps her wings

"Bring me a cider please."

"Okay!" says Spike.

The end
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>Applejack
"Mane-iac"
~~~~~~

>Maney, listen, Ah'm glad ya' came over to help and all-

"YEEEEEEESSSSS! I, THE MANIACAL MAAAAAAANE-IAC, HAVE FORGED WITH YOU A NEW RESIDENTS, TO FORM MY EVIL PLOT OF- Blast it! That keeps happening!"

>Ah' noticed. Point is, while Ah'm happy yer' helpin' out with the reconstruction, and ya'll are really good at this fer' some reason-

"Of couuuuurse! How else could I construct my fortresses of MANES!?"

>Righ, on that note, Ah' happened ta' notice that everythin' ya' made came out... evil lookin'. Like, not evil-evil, more 'this'd probably scare Sweetie Belle' evil.

"Ehhhhh, I don't see it."

>Ya' don't.

"Nope."

>Nothin' about that looks like a ponies head to you?

"Well, if you tilt your head just right I suppose, but that's kind of a stretch."

>And that buildin' there, that doesn' look like an evil, grinnin' face?

"FOOOLISH-, I mean, don't be silly Mistress Marevelous! It's just one of those things, like seeing a bunny in a cloud, or something like that. Nothing sinister!"

>Then explain the volcano.

"...Built in heating?"

>... there's a pit o' acid over there...

"Okay, I'm beginning to see your point."
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>News Anchor
"8-bit"
'Gaffer'
-poindexter-
~~~

>Our top story tonight: Canterlot's Rebirth: A new intellectual capital or the training ground of terror?

Footage showing Mane-iac's new homes

>as you can see, reconstruction efforts have resulted in some creative homes and designs, earlier I interviewed a few stallions who enthusiastically moved here in the wake of these new housing units

>Sir, you said the house built into an inexplicable volcano was your motivation for moving back to Canterlot, care you explain?

-Yep! The geothermal energy I'm tapping from this volcano powers the house, the city block, and the experimental death ray and robot army I'm building!-

>And, you sir, you recently moved into house shaped like a skull

'And from it, I will plot my revenge on all who have slighted me! And loot the bodies, of course.'

>Sir, your thoughts on your ominous looking new home?

"MY REIGN OF TERROR WILL NEVER END! Wanna check out the really awesome firepoles that lead into the basement? The place came with a tribe of some kind of morlock minions, it's awesome!"

>Perhaps in a followup interview. I wish you all luck on your reigns of terror.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In some metaphysical plane of existence, a large scale map of Equestria and it's surrounding kingdoms are displayed on the wall.

Piercing the wall at numerous points are darts with surfaces adorned with detailed and unique designs.

One such dart, emblazoned with a golden sun, begin to pulse with a red glow.

The red maned alicorn grabs a bar of soap from the basket beside her and tosses it at the red glow with an ease born from decades of practice.

Shortly before impacting the surface of the map, the soap vanishes and the dart returns to it's normal state.

Satisfied that her daughter has momentarily learnt her lesson, the goddess returns to her extremely important activity.

That being the selection of an interesting location for a potentially giant bug monster to spontaneously appear in.

Finally deciding on a small mountain in the Himallamas, she hefted the dart, took careful aim and let it fly.

With a solid *THUNK* it impacted the map of equestria.

Right in the middle of the ocean.

With a mumbled "celery-stalks", she blames the darts constantly changing weight throwing off her aim while studiously ignoring the crumbled balls of paper littering the floor around a nearby writing desk.
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>Filthy Rich
"Pennydrop"
~~~~

>Well, I do believe that about wraps up everything. I really must applaud this temporary joint agreement, Ms Pennydrop, it has benefited us both quite handsomely. Not to mention Canterlot, of course. They should be returned to their former splendor in no time at all.

"Indeed... though, let's be honest, shall we? You could have easily taken it all for yourself. You had the location, the in with the Princess, and the history. Tell me, why didn't you fight us? Sure, there would have been some kickback from us, but your daughter is a member of that premier team of agents, is she not? It's not as if we could threaten you physically without repercussion."

>Who knows, maybe I just like spending time with you.

"..."

>Oh, alright, you caught me. I'm just, well, aware of big business 'politics'. Far, far too aware. In my younger years, I likely would have shaken them for all they were worth, but I'm not as daring as I once was, at least not in business. I have a child, one who deserves to grow up without her father endangering her in corporate espionage.

"I see."

>Yes, better to be the biggest fish in a tiny pond, than just another shark in the feeding frenzy. When this is over, I will likely go right back to managing my businesses at Ponyville, a kick to my bank and a spring in my step. You have no need to worry about clashing against me.

"It's actually quite a pity. You're good, Mister Filthy Rich, you could easily be one of my biggest rivals. It would be fun to take you on."

>Take me down, you mean.

"Well, obviously. Fawntaine made sure his business was left to someone with a little, say, ambition. Still, it would have been fun while it lasted."

>In another life, I suppose. To partnership! Rebuilding the world...

"...In whatever image we choose."

They clinked together their wineglasses, and toasted to each other. The businessstallion who played ball...

And the mare who ceased her plans to have him eliminated.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Trixie
"MM"
'Zecora'
[29]
~~~~

>Is this really okay to him?

"I guess? He keeps doing it. You figure he'd eventually snap or something."

'The look of a child who has departed is strong. Though he is as bright as a burnt out candle, he knows refusing them would be wrong.'

>Oh, of course! If any dared to command the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie to partake in such insanity, they would find themselves at the wrong end of her vast magical might!

"*Snrk*"

>YOU DOUBT THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!? Any skill of your choosing, command it now! I shall best you in-

'Potions.'

>...The Great and Amazing Trixie has nothing to prove to you.

[Children? I must wonder, is this truly what you want? Will your hearts desires be alleviated by this, and nothing else?... So be it! To the stars, we shall traverse! Upon a seat of fire and force of will, we shall rise like the hawk into the air! Soaring, as if kissed by the very sun itse- WAIT NO DON'T LIGHT IT I WASN'T READY-]

*FWOOOOOOOOOMMM!*

>...Whoops.

"You cut off the sexy talk!"

[Indeed, that was most unwise. He had no time to completely strap in before he began to rise. That rocket is made poorly, and cannot withstand much. In but a few short minutes, there will be nothing left to clutch.'

>Well I'm sorry, I thought that was the signal!

"I was supposed to light it off anyway!"

>NONE SHALL LIGHT THE FLAMES BUT THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXI-

*BOOOOM!*

>...

"...Crud."

[MY LEG!]
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