You've got CRABS

Covet: Tae was sitting in the living room with a mug of Hot Chocolate, waiting for Noah to show up and see all the silly shit she had spread about the living room. There was a pre-lit tree set up out and away from the corner near the fireplace, and then a bunch of bags that had generic discount decorations that they could put on the tree.
Alexithymiaa: -Noah rode his bike up to the front of the house, jumping off and letting the momentum carry the vehicle forward and off to the side of the house where it would fall over. Pulling his keys from his pocket, he shook them in his hand a few times, hitching his backpack further up on his back and lettign himself into the house. He instantly saw all of the shit around the living room, slowly walking foward and looking around. "What's all this?"-
Covet: "Christmas obnoxiousness. Part of Christmas is decorating the tree." Tae said, "Welcome home by the way." She said turning around to look at him.
Alexithymiaa: -He let his backpack slide off his arm and down to the floor, tossing it over into the corner next to the desk before continuing forward. "Oh yeah. So you got a bunch of stuff to decorate a tree? And how the hell did you even get this tree in here by yourself?"-
Covet: "Yeah, None of it matches, which is kind of more of a traditional christmas thing, because if your tree matches, you've probably got a lot of money invested in your tree." Tae said, then rolled her eyes, "It came in a box first, and it's not that heavy, it's fake."
Alexithymiaa: "Probably a big box..." He said as he sat down on the coffee table, looking around at all the things. "I mean, I dont care if shit matches. How much did you spend on all of this?"-
Covet: "Not really, It definitely won't be going back in the box though. It was packed in there tight." Tae said then looked at all the stuff, "Like half the price I actually would have paid for it. Because Hobby Lobby is amazing and had all their holiday decore on sale." She said like that was something to be proud about, but really it just means she spent twice as much as she would have.
Alexithymiaa: (YAAAAAAS HOBBY LOBBY YAAAAAAAAAS)
Alexithymiaa: "Oh..." He said as he really took in what was there, standing up and beginning to poke around inside one of the bags. "So like... what do we do?" He asked, pulling a pretty sparkly ball out of the bag and starting to walk it over to the tree. He was just going to stick some shit on there.-
Covet: [I was there today.. got through another part of the store... still haven't touched like 2 parts of that store XD Fabric and the like seasonal gift box section area. XD]
Covet: "Well the tree is already lit, because I'm lazy and it was cheaper to get the pre lit tree than the tree and lights. So basically all we have to do is put the ornaments and other decorations on, and the star on top and then we have to put presents under it... eventually." Tae said with a grin, walking over to the bags to start looking through it to find things to put on the tree.
Alexithymiaa: -He stuck the ball on a random branch on the tree and then turned back to her to find another ornament that he wanted to add. "Shit... presents. Right. I forgot about that. So what if I don't have any money by Christmas and I can't afford to buy presents to put under the tree? What if like... we just wrapped a bunch of boxes and stuck them under there so they look nice?"-
Covet: "We could do that. Gifts don't necessarily have to be physical items. Services are good too." Tae said with a bit of a smirk, as she put a couple other ornaments on the tree.
Alexithymiaa: "I think it would be hilarious if we tricked people into opening them on Christmas though." He said with a grin, shooting a glance over to her. "I definitely know what you're getting for Christmas then."-
Covet: "Trick who? Adam? Cause it's just you and me here." Tae said with a laugh, "And since you told me it wouldn't be that great of a joke." She looked over at him, " The only thing you can give me?"
Alexithymiaa: "We could trick Adam. I dont think he would find it as funny as I do, but we could." He shrugged, sliding another ornament onto the tree. "Hey at least I CAN give it to you."-
Covet: "You can, I'll be giving him an actual gift." Tae said with a laugh, the gave him a smirk as she shrugged, " I mean.. You get the job done."
Alexithymiaa: "Suck up." He retorted, shifting through the bag again because he was being more selective about which ornaments he chose. "You're damn right I get the job done. And it's a fun job, too."-
Covet: "Jealous?" Tae said with a challenging grin, then laughed. " Only you could take a half hearted compliment and make it seem like I just praised god or something."
Alexithymiaa: "Well now that you mention it..." He trailed off, giving a little wave of his hand to fan himself off like a dramatic little asshole. "Hey wait, can I do that for a job?"-
Covet: "Fan yourself? I think that's one step away from masturbation and I'm still not sure if you can make that into a job." Tae said.
Alexithymiaa: "I meant get chicks off, smartass." He grumbled, pulling out a cutesy ornament and sticking it on the tree.-
Covet: "Yeah I'm pretty sure prostitution is still illegal." Tae said still laughing. "And I pretty much pay you for that already... in rides and shit."
Alexithymiaa: "Yeah, but think of the kind of money I could make if it was more than just you." He said tactlessly, shrugging off the illegal comment. "I smoked weed when I lived at home and that was illegal. Whats the difference?"-
Covet: "Well if that's what you're considering doing for a job, you can consider your debt to me paid in full, and that's just me looking out for my own safety." Tae said kind of glaring at him through the tree.
Alexithymiaa: "What? I'd use a condom." He said like that would make anyone feel better about him being a fucking whore. "I have some other ideas floating around though, if you're really that concerned."-
Covet: "Wait... wait wait wait... Do you honestly think that Condoms stop any and all STD's?" Tae said with a blink. "You make it sound like being that concerned is a bad thing. I'm sorry my sexual health is important?" She asked like, he was stupid. because he kind of was.
Alexithymiaa: "Uhh... yes?" He asked in question because he did really believe that. Condoms were like the Superman of sex, to him. "Wait, do they not?" He asked in a panic.-
Covet: "You can totally still get Crabs, and Genital warts even with condoms." Tae said to him as she put more ornaments on the tree.
Alexithymiaa: -He kind of just stood there for a moment, soaking in the information she just gave him. "Shit..." He mumbled to himself, thinking about all the girls he's hooked up with and then went to sit on the coffee table again because his night just took a terrible turn.-
Covet: "Unless you've been itching up a storm down there, or youv'e noticed any weird bumps. You should be fine. But going to the doctor to get checked out is always good just for peace of mind." Tae told him as he sat down. "How about I get you some hotchocolate. That will make it better." Tae told him patting him on the head before heading into the kitchen to go make him the drink things.