Ugg… you were up. Another day in the life of Thorley Marshall Barker… bluest of the blue balled blues singers… you couldn’t help but sigh. Really, did you just have to be teased into a fruitless frenzy by everyone you met now? You opened your eyes, sleep having cleared your brain of the last traces of Mana in your system, as you booted up your more conscious defenses and slowly allowed yourself to leave the luxurious comforts of your bed.

You’d been beating off for at least an hour… and even your favorite toy (Big black shiny!) did little but remind you about the lack of human accompaniment to your desired intimacy.