Follows A Little Spark 37&38

>”Your Excellency!”
>The use of your rarely heard official style stops you, and Celestia a few paces after.
>Her stop isn’t even as graceful as yours, let alone as her usual self.
>Both of you turn to the guard stallion you just passed.
>”We’re keeping an eye on him, sir. Looking out for you.”
>You toss a casual salute at him and resume walking.
“Your guards are gossipy, as usual.”
>Celestia continues walking herself, once you’re back to her side, and the two of you enter the library.
>”This is the most excitement they’ve seen in awhile.”
“Over a doorknob.”
>”Over you. And Twilight, too; my sister’s guards don’t tell, but when mine saw the two of you leave your building together, this morning, there’s only a few conclusions they’d draw.”
“Yeah, I’ve been congratulated a couple times too. It’s a little weird, being honest.”
>Celestia closes the door to your private reading room behind her, then sighs and leans against the wall there.
>Once you’ve taken a seat, you lean forward, elbows on your knees, and study her.
“You’ve been off all day. You almost stuttered, earlier, and I’ve never heard you stutter in front of anypony. Your gait’s all screwy and you’re distracted as hell. I‘m pretty sure most haven’t noticed, but I have. What’s wrong?”
>“Between Blueblood and you being with my sister now, I’ve got a lot on my mind. This whole thing with the Prince will become a big issue with the way this palace is run, if we let it drag. He knows something is up, even if we haven’t confronted him yet; the Guard is all over him, to the limits of propriety. Trust me, this is restrained, for the Commander. He’d be at Blueblood’s throat if I allowed it; after what you’ve told us, it’s the perfect storm to set his hopelessly romantic heart ablaze. As it is Raven is going to have to manage everything around here more or less alone, with those two angry enough at each other to become useless.”
>She thumps her head lightly against the wall. “Luna and I just haven’t settled on a punishment, yet. I’ve been corresponding with… colleagues.”
“That’s not like you, either. Usually you can think of these things on the spot. And why would me being with Luna bother you? I thought it’s what you wanted.”
>She looks over to you and smiles, standing upright again. “I’m happy for you two. I just thought I should keep a respectful distance.”
“That’s the last thing I want. I’ve been with you every step of your routine for months now trying to help you relax, and you said you liked my lack of respect. C’mere, sit down.”
>You gesture to her usual spot.
>Instead, she comes up to you, then lies down on the floor next to you.
“Well, sure, no distance is what I asked for I guess.”
>Her mane flows over and phases through your clothes and body, as Luna’s does like this. It feels like a warm mist, immersing your legs in a sensation of a very fine spray, though you know it doesn’t wet your clothes.
>You reach down through it – though not very far; her greater than normal height is just as apparent when she’s sitting on the floor – and pat the side of her neck.
>Honestly, this all seems so…
>Pathetic.
>The mighty and sure sovereign of Equestria is lying on the floor at your feet.
>It’s been awhile now since she started letting her guard down around you, in here. You were glad for it; she really needed some time in the day she could relax. You were honored she could around you, honored in a way you’ve never really felt before in your life. It was a strange thing to realize, that you feel an entirely new feeling to you from these moments.
>You’ve never seen her so put to pieces as this.
>No, there was your dream last night.
>But besides that.
>In both cases, the key was… you.
>How she felt about you last night, that was obvious enough. Between her reaction to the dream, and her own nightmare you’d seen before, she was terrified of losing you.
>Maybe all the teasing was masking something more earnest.
>Shit, you’ve never been good at this stuff.
“Hey. Move over to the middle, a bit.  Lemme get my hands all over you.”
>She jerks as if about to stand, but stops and remains motionless.
>She doesn’t even take that low-hanging fruit for some crude comment.
“Seriously. I mean it.”
>She sighs and does as you ask, settling on the floor in the middle of the room atop her legs, wings spread wide and loose.
“Can’t believe I have to cajole you into this.”
>You get behind her again, starting your massage at her hindquarters and planning to move up, as you did last time.
>”Would it sound strange if I said I hesitated because I wanted it?”
“Yeah, that is pretty strange.”
>”I used to indulge in a self-satisfying selflessness. If I wasn’t sure on a course of action, where both choices were exactly equal, I’d often pick the option I didn’t want. To prove to myself I had that will, that I could make decisions with no regard to my own interests. But lately, a couple friends told me I should pursue my own wants more.”
“No wonder you’re always so uptight.”
>She laughs, the reverberations running through her body to your hands on her sides. “Yes, that’s probably part of it. But I used to be quite the opposite.”
“Self-interested?”
>”Partially. Haughty, stuck-up, thoughtless and careless. I’d mock my sister, when we were both young. Very young; still unicorns, and our first couple years after earning our wings. Not that I didn’t love her, but I used my wit and quick tongue for immediate satisfaction more often than thoughtful care.”
“That doesn’t sound like you.”
>“I learned, thanks to our shared mentor, and what we went through together. By the time we were set to take the throne of our then-recently founded country, I had acquired some of the wisdom that intellect should be paired with. But sometimes I still feel like that foolish filly, sometimes I feel like I still have so far to go.”
>She shakes her head. “Back then, she and I used to always be at each others’ sides. The Elements of Harmony we used – just two back then, not the six Twilight’s at the center of now – were just one of many things we did together.” After a chuckle, “A list which includes, to be crude, a few stallions. But we’d stopped that once we took our thrones. So now, faced with my sister finally finding love again, I’m reminded of our earlier misadventures, but also of how poorly I at times treated her then. I wasn’t sure if I should just leave her to it, and I was tempted to apply that old test; what don’t I want? Yet my dear friends counsel me otherwise. I’ve spent too long thinking about how I have all the time in the world; for once I should take advantage of it.”
>Your hands are massaging the shoulders of her wings, now, as you chew on this.
>Yeah, you can see where this is going.
“So what about that stallion you told me about? Did you stay away from him because he was hers?”
>You can feel Celestia tense under you, briefly, before relaxing again and laughing. “He… oh, come now. I was talking about you then, Anon.”
>You start laughing, yourself. And don’t stop, folding forward over where you straddled her hips to lay on top of her upper back.
>She’s laughing with you, quieter. “Honestly, for someone who’s so capable of leaps of intuition, you are too often distracted beyond reason. Considering what I know you’re capable of, you miss some of the most blatant things.”
“Yeah, I, uh, that’s me for sure. The only errors I make are the obvious ones.”
>”Lets not get too full of ourselves, now.”
“So if I asked you want you want-”
>She does a little shimmy, tossing you onto her left wing, then she swings that wing up while rolling beneath you. Once you pass through her right wing, extended up over your head,  she brings it down around you and pushes you to the floor.
>You land between her forelegs, which wrap around your arms and upper body, pulling you close to her, followed by her hind legs around your thighs and knees. Her neck curls down, her chin against the top of your head.
>The two of you are on your sides now, facing each other, and it’s a little hard to breathe with your face mashed into her chest as it is, considering her coat’s thicker there than most of the rest of her body.
>”I want this.”
>Celestia is the only pony who can cuddle you, instead of the other way around. Her being as tall as you standing means she’s got a lot more volume on you, with her four-legged body configuration. She’s currently making very effective use of it.
>She must be thinking the same thing you are. “It’s nice to hug a stallion my size, for once. We’re… compatible.”
“In more ways than one, I’d guess.”
>Your response is muffled by her coat.
>”Is this too far?”
>Well, Luna said she didn’t care. Twilight…
>Since when did Twilight object to anything Celestia did?
“I don’t know, are you just teasing me again?”
>She loosens her weird hoof-hug, giving you a bit of room to breathe. “I’m sorry for all that, before.”
“Yeah, your sister told me.”
>”I meant what I said in your dream, last night. I was upset because I cared for you. I don’t want to lose you, Anon, but that means I need to have you, first.”
>You wiggle a bit in her hoofy grasp.
>She’s pleasantly warm, and surrounding you with that warmth.
“Yeah, that checks out.”
>She laughs. “Knowing you, I should have stated it so simply earlier.”
“Might have helped.”
>After a moment of silence, “And you?”
“I’m feeling less in control of my own love life by the hour, with everything that’s been going on in the past couple days.”
>”Yes, I suppose it’s a bit much to take in.”
>She adjusts her legs around you.
>”I’ve waited many, many years. I can wait a little bit longer.”
>You’re trying to figure out how she manages to smell like flowers. As far as you know that’s her natural scent.
>Probably the same way her laugh energizes you, and how her mane works, and what Luna said about bodily control.
>You’re fortunate you enjoyed her affections.
>If you didn’t, you’re afraid she might have a way to make you enjoy it.
>”You should take a shower when we’re done here.”
“Woah, hey now, physical affection like this is one thing, but Luna got a little peeved when she learned Twilight and I were sleeping in the same bed, and that wasn’t even, ah, some other activities one does in bed. And that’s what it sounds like you’re proposing.”
>”No, silly. It’s the scent.”
>She pulls you in tighter, mashing your face into her chest again.

* * *

>Your office is very close to the library.
>Close enough that your pink alicorn friend can sense every feeling coming from it with clarity, the emotional voyeur.
>She’s looking in that direction now, but her eyes are closed.
>She’s wearing a faint smile.
>And she refuses to give you as much feedback as you’d like about what she’s picking up.
>You’re about to ask her for the ninth time for more commentary when she opens her eyes and looks at you.
>”It is done, Raven.”
“Stop these cryptic replies, Your Highness.”
>”Aw, let me have a little fun with it.”
“So he loves Her Majesty?”
>”No.”
>The one word hits you like this whole wing of the palace just collapsed. The weight drops on your shoulders, threatening to drive you down to the desk you’d propped yourself up on, while watching Cadance.
>She momentarily looks shocked and physically recoils, when that sensation reaches her. Then her expression shifts to apologetic. ”Not in the way you’re thinking, my inexperienced mentor. She doesn’t love him like that, either.”
“Her Majesty told me quite clearly-”
>”She didn’t lie to you. But their connection isn’t like that between Anon and Twilight or Luna.  Those are deep loves rooted in shared experiences and aspects of being, intellectual or emotional. That’s not what Celestia shares with Anon. And that’s okay! Not all relationships start with the pair head over heels for each other. What’s important is the feelings are mutual.”
“What do they feel, then?”
>Cadance makes a show of pondering the question. “They care how the other feels. They interest each other, respect each other, and arouse each other. She’s invested enough in him that she’s off-balanced by recent events surrounding him, and if he slips her grasp she’ll be devastated. He’s realized his  private moments by her side is as important to him as her, he’s proud and humbled she’s chosen him for that, and wants to see her get what he feels she deserves. The only difference between them is that she recognizes all this in herself, and knows what it means. That’s what she meant when she told you, and when she talked to us.”
“And Anon?”
>”He’s… still working through it. He believed her earlier behavior to be shallower than it was. I believe – this was hard to pick up, since he tries muting his emotional expression reflexively, poor soul – he understands otherwise, now. I did get a sense of understanding, but couldn’t catch on what. There’s only so much I can't see a pony I'm unfamiliar with.”
>You nod, more to yourself than anything.
>This all sounded good.
>Not great.
>But good.
>Cadance, of course, can pick up on your feelings on the matter.
>She sends a wave of reassurance your way, in return, allowing you to relax a tension in your posture. You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding, nor for how long.
>”Have faith. As I said, not all relationships begin with love. Sometimes love grows into the space a relationship provides, instead, molding itself to all its nooks and crannies. Those two already have everything else needed, a lot of things some ponies don’t even understand in each other until after marriage. These things need more than just love to make them work, you know.”
>No, you didn’t, not really. This was one field you had no understanding of. Your object of affection never loved back, not as you loved it. You’re fine with that. It’s part of the job. Equestria loves all ponies equally, in a distantly paternal fashion.
>”Besides, her bonds with Twilight and Luna make a unique niche for her in their nascent herd. All that is enough, and she knows it’s enough, she’s been around long enough to see. The only question is whether or not he’s receptive.”
>You prop yourself up again, at this, and look at her.
“Will he accept her, then?”
>The pink princess just grins at you, a gleam in her eye.
>You stamp a forehoof on your desk.
“Your Highness, I said-”
>”It’s funny, Raven. You taught me a lot of what I needed to know, before I left for the Crystal Empire. I was the learner, but now I’m the master. Let me teach you what you’ll need to know.”