Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        hey

    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        hey

        you alright?
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        yeah

        I just feel weird
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        how so?
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        just this whole shitty situation
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        hmm :(
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        I can't stress enough that I am not angry or upset with you

        just it's weird, I know that I can't expect you to be all mine until this whole affair is sorted but at the same time I do feel hurt.

        As you keep saying it makes sense mentally but emotionally it's very difficult
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        I don't want to hurt you
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        I know and as I said I don't blame you but there is a mismatch between what I know to be fair and right and how it feels
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        I still feel stupid

        I'm just confused

        everyone seems to think I'm just gonna be your bit on the side and after having to leave yours...just makes me feel cheap

        and not in a fun way :P
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        Who is everyone?

        Also I really don't want you to feel cheap or be my bit on the side

        That's why I'm thinking it may be a good idea to stop having sex until everything is sorted. I don't think it is fair on you
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        well, I'm not sure I agree, but I guess if you think it's best
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        As you said I don't want you to feel like a secret bit on the side. I felt terrible when you said you felt humiliated last night because it was entirely my fault

        It was my selfishness that led to that whole situation
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        it just seems ridiculous, I really don't think Sophie and Colin care

        Colin even texted me asking why I left and didn't just stay with you
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        Well it's hard to judge with col and soph. They never really bring up anything like that in conversation. That's why I ended up having that shouting match with col that time when we were drunk
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        what shouting match?
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        you were there it was the first night we slept together after we got back from ziggies
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        I don't remember that at all
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        lol

        well we know for the future now

        God I feel like such a fool
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        heh, you're not the fool
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        if I hadn't sent you home nothing would have happened. Also before that if I was worried about colin and soph knowing you were spending the night I shouldn't have asked you to

        see I'm the fool
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        maybe I just shouldn't have bothered you

        it's difficult

        I know you're used to only seeing Zara every other week or so, but I'd want to spend more than that with you

        but right now I just have to wait around and hope you want to see me
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        well I realise you'd want to see me more than once every few weeks. I would also very much like that as well

        The reason I see Zara so little is out of necessity not desire
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        I just never know when you actually want me around haha
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        if I didn't want you around I would say

        the weekend was great and I really would have liked to cuddle while I feel asleep last night

        I did suggest you stay remember
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        I know, but now I'm worried last night will have scared you off wanting to do that again for a while
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        It's just I really love Zara and I do not want to lose her. And carrying on as we are is definitely putting my relationship with her at risk

        so I am kinda scared about us being together until we get the all clear so to speak
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        I didn't realise it was affecting you guys, I thought you were pretty much set for life together

        but okay, yeah that sucks a lot, but not much of a choice
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        well I hope we are set for life, but you and I are not supposed to be a couple and I certainly shouldn't be having sex with you. It's basically like cheating and if Zara finds out it could really hurt our relationsip
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        I see
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        But as I said before the responsibility is all on me as it is my relationship.

        I'm so sick of this I just feel a combination of confused, frustrated angry and guilty all at once
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        I'm sorry this is so hard :(
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        don't be sorry

        it's not you that is complicating the whole affair
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        well, it kinda is
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        how so?
    Jenny Mugridge
    29 June
    Jenny Mugridge

        I just mean, if I wasn't around things would be a lot simpler and you'd probably be happier
    Dave Stewart
    29 June
    Dave Stewart

        simpler most definitely and in the short term maybe happier. However when all of this is resolved and we can just be together I suspect I will be much happier with you than without you