$error_text = array();
  $error_text[] = "Try turning it off and on again... maybe that will help?";
  $error_text[] = "Reticulating splines...";
  $error_text[] = "Maybe ONE more F5?";
  $error_text[] = "Try <a href='/rcommunity/'>/rcommunity/</a> instead!";
  $error_text[] = "I'd rather fly coach anyway.";
  $error_text[] = "I could have sworn this is where I left it...";
  $error_text[] = "When all else fails... <a href='/index.php'>ET go home</a>";
  $error_text[] = "Beware the candleja-";
  $error_text[] = "So much for bug free, aye?";
  $error_text[] = "Better than a stick in the eye.";
  $error_text[] = "Homegrown errors... Now with love!";
  $error_text[] = "I hear our <a href='/index.php'>home page</a> is nice this time of year.";
  $error_text[] = "<a href='/gear/'>Swag.</a>";
  $error_text[] = "Try <a href='/gear/'>Gear</a> instead!</a>";