Who ya' Gonna Call? Part 2: Proton Packs and Ponies.

>Warmth. Its all around.
>Its like the world's best hug after being chilled to bone for so long.
>Despite your body's protest, you will yourself to sit up and open your eyes.
>You made it back to the old police station that's your home away from home, and looks like they put a lot of blankets on top of you. You were never so happy to be back in the cobweb infested police station than you are at this very moment.
>”Well well well, look who decided ta' wake up!”
>Turning your head, you spy Jethro. That magnificent redneck bastard was standing in the doorway to the bunkhouse, smirking like he just won the lottery.
“Jethro... I just had the weirdest dream. I was in the middle of a forest, and-”
>”Relax, Anon. The back blast from that there protonic reversal caused ya' whack your head on a big ole rock. We dragged your ass back here and dried ya' off and put ya' to bed... Though, Lisa did get a good look at yer doodle.”
>You can't help but laugh a little. What a messed up dream, though in all honesty your glad to be alive after all of that. There is one thing you need to know...
“We got him, right?”
>Jethro nods his head, adjusting that baseball cap that seemed to be always attached to his head.
>...What was up with that anyway?
>”Yup. Took another readin' this morning. That thing ain't getting through anytime soon, thats for sure.”
>Fuck yes! Super natural horror from beyond the stars: 0, Ghost Busters: 1!
>”Hey, Anonymous! Your finally up.” It was Frank, sounding a lot more chipper than he usually did. He walked into the room carrying a big plate of food on a plastic tray. He was wearing his 'Kiss the Ghostbuster' apron. Pancakes, sausage and scrambled eggs. This was shaping up to be the best morning ever. “Perfect timing, too! Just finished breakfast.”
>”Yeah, he refused to start cooking until you woke up, so I had to twist his arm!” Lisa shouted from another room, probably playing video games or something, “By the way, your trouser snake is slightly above average!”
>All of you have a good laugh. Just like that one time in Jacksonville.
>”Anyway, ya' better get eatin'. The franchise founders are comin' down to congratulate us today fer a job well done.. And a fat bonus check!” Jethro grinned like a child with the keys to the candy factory.
“You-you mean-?”
>”Yup, Egon, Peter, Ray, and Winston in the flesh, baby.” Frank confirmed, patting me on the shoulder, “So hurry up and get eating. We gotta get ready!”
>Didn't have to say that twice.
>You grab the fork that was sitting on the plate, and prepare to skewer a sausage patty...
>The plate is now filled with bugs. Fucking freaky bugs. Like bugs straight out of hell's picture book.
>A scream comes from your throat as you jump backwards and fling the plate into the wall. Confusion crosses your face as you look over to Frank.
>Frank's flesh begins to melt away from his bones, leaving only a flaming skull where his head should be.
>You can feel the heat pouring off the corrupt flames, your skin beginning to sizzle and boil. You look over to Jethro, whose body begins to contort and shift into a horrific maw of jagged teeth, becoming a horrific mockery of the man you called your best friend.
>”Whats a matter Anonymous? Don't like the food?!”
>They both say in unison. The seemingly secure walls of the old police department crumbling away like old stone against cannon fire. The fires of the inferno are all that remains, as the two figures walk torwards you with maligned intentions heavy on their demonic breath.
“Stay back! Stay back!”
>Suddenly, you feel the covers of your bed begin to constrict you tightly, you look down... They have turned into snakes. Fleece snakes! You can barely move, much less breath as they tie you down to the bed.
>”Welcome to Hell Anonymous! Enjoy your stay! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” The skull laughs right into your ear before licking it with a lava-coated tongue.
>Your lips melt together like hot wax, as you try in vain to cry out. One thought shoots through your mind.
>You have no mouth, but you must scream.
=============
>Your body jerks as you finally wake up.
>Don't open your eyes. Don't open them. Not yet.
>Your heart is beating so fast you can feel it in your throat, its like trying to burst from your chest and escape.
>Calm down buddy, we aren't in Hell... Or at least you don't think so.
>Fire. You can hear a fire going nearby. Oh no, maybe you are still in hell?!
>You recoil backward from the source of the sound, curling up into a ball.
“No no no no.. Not hell. Anywhere but there.”
>Mumbling, you reach to grab hold of you arms.. Only to find soft blankets, and a chill running up your spine reminded you why you wanted them.
>Slowly your eyes open, and its not the endless inferno of hell you see. Its a cozy fireplace with a log burning away in the middle of it.
>A breath of relief escapes your throat as you scoot closer, rubbing your near-numb hands together and holding them to the life giving heat of the flames.
>”Oh. Your awake!”
>Its that voice again, the one you heard before you saw that small horse thing. Now that your ears aren't freezing off, it sounded feminine. A woman saved your life Anonymous. You knew they all weren't horrible. You don't face the source of the voice just yet, your body temperature demanding to be a few degrees higher first.
“Ye-ye-yeah... I'm awake.”
>You manage to say, your teeth clattering together.
“T-t-t-t-t-thank you. I-i-i thought I was going to die.”
>You sniffle. Oh, your gonna have a pretty nasty cold after all of this was said and done. Better than the alternative.
>”Oh, its no problem. I'm just glad I managed to get you inside in time. You were almost too far gone! How did you get soaked in salt water, anyway? There isn't any oceans anywhere near here.”
>A different type of shiver runs through your body. You were having too many close calls lately.
“Its.. Its a long story. Horrors from the deep... Real Cthulu, H.P. Lovecraft kind of stuff. Trust me, you don't want to know.”
>No response to that one. She probably didn't understand it. You didn't understand it half the time, and it was in your job description.
“I'm Anonymous, by the way. And you saved my life. As soon as I get back to HQ, I'm giving you as much swag as you can carry.”
>”Well, its nice to meet you Mister Anonymous... My name is Twilight Sparkle.”
>Twilight Sparkle? Holy shit, you managed to wander into a hippy community. Fucking hippies.
>That hippy just saved your life, so don't be an ass.
>”Um.. Is 'HQ' where your from? And whats swag?”
>Oh yeah, definately a hippy. Didn't smell like one though. Maybe this one knew how to bathe.
“You know, Head Quarters? All the precinct's got one. And by swag, I mean Ghostbusters merchandise. You know, t-shirts, mugs, balloons, beer cozies... That kinda thing?”
>”Ghostbusters? Whats a Ghostbuster?” Her voice was inquisitive, and curious.
>She's never heard of a Ghostbuster?! Has she lived under a rock for all of her life? There were tribes in the middle of the amazon rainforest who knew who the Ghostbusters were!
“Yeah, you know! We go around, find ghost and other ghoulies that scare people and bust 'em good. Saved the world a couple of-”
>You start to explain while you turn your head. But, just as you were about to finish that sentence, there stands that purple mini-horse just staring at you with an inquisitive look.
>”Um.. Mister Anonymous? Are you okay?”
>... It talked. In the same voice as the girl you were just talking to.
>Then a thought dawns on you: this is the girl who was just talking to you!
>You can hear the sound of your brain breaking into a million pieces. Ghost didn't phase you, spirits even make you flinch, zombies? Pffft, don't even make you nervous. But a talking purple, tiny, horse? That is where your brain draws the line.
“I'm sorry, I'm too terrified for rationale thought at the moment. Please try back after the beep.”
>”Oh-okay. Uh.. Would you like some tea?”
“Yes. That'd be fantastic.”
>The little horse trotted off towards what you assumed to be the kitchen... And you just sat there, completely motionless trying to categorize what you just saw while resisting your brains attempts to disbelieve it.
>After a few of the longest minutes of your life, the little talking creature classified as Twilight Sparkle came back, carrying a mug of steaming liquid flavored with various spices and leaves.
>She stayed back a good distance from you as her horn... Lit up with a light purple aura. The mug of steaming sustenance was surrounded by the same aura as it was levitated over to you.
>Telekinesis. You knew it from anywhere. Whatever she is, can preform telekinesis. Is it a ghost? Maybe some sort of fey spirit? Hard to tell.
>You gingerly take the mug, eyes still staring at the purple creature who was now shuffling about uncomfortably.
>You raise the mug to your lips and take a sip.
>..It was, good. Really good. The hot ambrosia knocked the hoarfrost right off your bones, your brain finally started to reassemble itself.
“Beep.”
>Turning back to the fireplace, you begin to rapidly sip at the mug. Managing to keep her in your peripheral vision, you open your mouth to speak.
“I'm sorry... I've never seen anything quite like you before.”
>”Its.. Its okay. To be honest, I've never seen another creature like you before either.” She chuckled nervously. It was a 'she', right?
>That would explain why she never heard of the Ghostbuster's before. Very understandable.
“Yeah... We're called 'Humans'. Scientific name, 'Homo Sapien'.”
>Thank you biology classes! Making you sound smarter than you actually are since 2005!
>”Oh, how interesting! We're called 'P0nies'. No scientific name, though. Do all humans look like you?”
“No. I'm a fairly average human specimen. But we come in a variety of heights and colors, mostly ranging from light pink to very dark brown.”
>Your inquisitiveness begins to take over as you look over your shoulder and slowly turn to face the talking hor- p0ny. Best get used to it now.
“What about, uh, p0nies? Are they all like you?”
>Twilight Sparkle shakes her head, “Oh no no no no. We come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and colors. You see, I'm a unicorn. You can tell from the horn on my head, and my ability to use magic!”
>Unicorn. The horn did kinda match up with Greek mythology. Probably a coincidence though.
>This 'magic' thing. Maybe that was the reason why your PKE picked her up? Maybe that horn on her head allows her to control ectoplasmic energy? You'll have to check later.
>”Then there are p0nies with wings who can fly! They're called pegasi. They can also walk on clouds and control the weather.”
>Pegasi? Greek mythology, again! Okay, once is a fluke, but twice? You allow her to continue while the gears in your head continue to spin.
>”Also, there are Earth P0nies. They don't have wings or horns, but they're really tough and have a very strong connection to the earth.”
>Curiouser and curiouser. Fear is replaced by curiosity as a flood of questions fills your mind...
“That is amazing... Is that all?”
>Twilight shakes her head again, “Well no.. There is one other type of p0ny called an Alicorn. They encompass traits of all three types of p0nies. They're is only three in existence though, at least that I know of.”
>You just got a gut feeling. Lets see if your right.
“I bet their in leadership positions, aren't they?”
>She looks shocked, and nods her head an excited smile creeping across her face, “Yes! How did you guess?”
>You smile to yourself. Your gut was hardly ever wrong about anything. Except for one that time where that girl at the bar wasn't a girl at all... God, why couldn't you forget that night?!
“Had a gut feeling...”
>”Oooh. Well, if you don't mind me asking a question... I was inspecting the stuff you came dressed in, and I was wondering if-”
>Suddenly, the purple unicorn was cut off by a blood curdling scream. In your line of work, those types of screams only mean one thing... Hold on! Lets think about this.
>You don't even know if spirits exist here. Its a very real possibility that supernatural elements are supernatural at all in this place. It could just be-
>”What is with everyp0ny screaming tonight?”
>...Did she just say 'everyp0ny'?
>Soon, your thoughts are interrupted by a symphony of screams.
>Twilight didn't like that one bit, and began to run to the front door, and you followed right behind her.
“I'm guessing screams in the middle of the night aren't normal in this town, are they?!”
>”No! Of course they're not! Why would they ever be normal?” She flung open the door using her telekinesis. Leaning over you peek over her shoulder... “Oh no, that thing is chasing Fluttershy!”
“Class 5 wandering specter.”
>You mutter, your trained eyes spying a floating orange figure in the vague shape of a p0ny... It seemed to be chasing around a yellow pegasus with pink hair. The pegasus was shouting bloody murder while anyone else that was woken up the commotion was either screaming and/or hiding.
>Twilight looks back at you, “You know what that thing is?!”
“No time to explain, wheres my proton pack?!”
>She just gives you another odd look.
“The big thing I was wearing when you dragged me in! You know, with all the lights and wires on it?!”
>She points over to a small table and there is all your gear, “I've got to help her!” She runs outside, her horn glowing purple.
“No wait-”
>Too late. You curse and rush over to your stuff, throwing your wet jumpsuit, underwear, and boots aside while you hastily put on the proton pack. Luckily, the trap was still attached to it. Small miracles every day, right?
>Rushing to the door, you smack your head on the frame. Stupid short architecture!
>Its cold outside, but you can barely notice it at the moment.
>Twilight appears to be trying to use her telekinesis to wrangle the roaming trouble maker, but its not doing much. That yellow pegasus thing is still running around, screaming at the top of her lungs. The orange mockery of life laughs sinisterly in the air, and reels upward to dive bomb her.
“Duck!”
>Oh no, too late. That poor p0ny just got slimmed.
>She stands completely still, her eyes wide in shock, her lower lip quivering. She drops to her flank and begins to cry, slimy ectoplasm dripping off of her in thick sticky clumps. And now the creature is making evil eyes at the unicorn that saved your life.
>Not today. You flip the 'on' switch on the wand of your proton pack, the distinctive hum of the nuclear accelerator coming to life. The aberration of life seems to have heard it, and turns its malformed ectoplasmic head as you take aim.
“Hey ugly!”
>You shout in challenge, then throw your proton stream.
>The specter doesn't even know what hit it, the orange and red beam of swirling energy slamming into it violently as it reels backward and against the side of a tree. You can see the panic in it's empty eyes. Its gonna try to run.
>But your a seasoned veteran of poltergeist pounding; so its feeble attempt to escape is cut short when you lasso the thing with a capture stream. It tries to escape, rapidly juking side to side, taking out a nearby mailbox as it dived to the ground.
“Whelp, there goes my two week record of no property damage.”
>You mumble to yourself while you fight the fiendish ghoul for control. Even the weakest of ghost could slip a perfectly good capture stream if they got ahead of you. So you didn't let that happen. But your fatigued muscles strained to hold on.
>You can hear doors click open, probably more p0nies seeing whats going on.
“Don't worry folks, we got this taken care of. Just your typical class five wanderer. Just stay back, we got this! Whoa!”
>Almost got away from you there. Time to wrap this up. Releasing a loud grunt, you slam the ghost into the ground roughly with a loud 'THUNK!'. And now the mischievous spirit looks like its about to pass out. Perfect.
>In one fluid, practiced motion, your left hand reaches for the trap hanging off your pack and slide it underneath the stunned entity... You smirk, raising your bare foot above the trap switch that was on the ground and stomp down with all of your might.
>A bright flash of white light lights up the area, as the orange blob of ectoplasm releases a final ghostly wail as its sucked into the trap; the yellow and black stripped doors closing with a metallic 'shink'.
>You holster your proton wand, walking over to the trap casually while humming your favorite version of the Ghostbuster's theme in your head.
“One in the trap. Ready to go! We be quick, and he be slow!”
>Picking up the trap, you hoist it over your head triumphantly.
>Cheers erupt from behind you as Twilight and the slimmed pegasus look on with mouths agape.
>At this point, you feel a cool breeze that causes your entire body to shiver...
>... Oh wait, during all your excitement you didn't realize that you weren't wearing any clothes. And you standing out in public while in your birthday suit.
>You gaze down at yourself to confirm this fact.
“Huh.”
>Is all you can mutter before turning on your heel and running inside of Twilight's tree shaped home, covering your shame with the occupied trap. Leaving the dumbfounded Twilight and ectoplasm drenched pegasus outside.