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Feb 25th, 2018
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  1. Pain can irradiate by constituting active experience alongside an already constituted active experience, or it can irradiate by narrowing active experience into a full experience of pain. The irradiation-character is important because it is the painful act' act-inertia. Depending on the act-inertia, pain configures my I-can. My foot hurts so I-cannot move with it. This “I-cannot move” reforms the further I-can for movement. If my whole abdomen hurts, so that I would just “want” to lie down and stay still., the Icannot move dominates the whole organism-environment. When going through severe abdominal pain, I-can barely lift my head to swallow a pill with some water. When pain is incapacitating pain, I-cannot move, I-can only shout my pain away. To shout my pain away is passively originating. To scream in pain is the pure audio expression of the organism-environment, unless willed. When screaming of pain, I do not will it. I scream my bindings away. Screaming is an active movement in a sea of scorching passivities. When screaming in pain, the pain slightly falls into act-background. In the immediacy of screaming, the pain returns to take over my active experience. When screaming in pain, the short relief retents as the frail light of freedom that is about to be obscured by the heavy clouds of raw painful struggle. Screaming in pain is the only I-can of the incapaciting pain's I-cannot act-inertia. It is one of the few movement citadels that I have left. To scream in pain is to briefly shift focus from the pain. I would rather be bound to focus on screaming than to be overrun by pain. When screaming in pain, my screaming neck area becomes my main seat of “free” will and of movement (see Id.II, §38). If I immediately discover that my screaming act also becomes a painful act in mid-screaming, I would flatten it. I-cannot scream. I-can only mumble my pain.
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